Letters to Rainbow Dash

by RainythePegasus_Archive

Dear Rainbow Dash

Scootaloo usually writes short letters that get to the point. But this time, she decided to keep writing.

Dear Rainbow Dash,

I’m just so tired. Both kinds of tired. I never slept well, I always had problems sleeping. And I’m just so tired. I am always so stressed so, irritable, and scared. I wish I could be like you.

She paused for a moment. Should she write more? She had so much on her mind. she sighed, took the pen back in her mouth and continued to write.

You are so brave and fearless. You can do anything, you’re my hero! I know fan letters are cliché but, this really isn’t a fan letter. I remember when I first met you. Do you remember? I was trying to learn to fly. I climbed a very tall hill and jumped. I was flapping my wings as hard as i could, but, my wings were useless. I dropped down down down nearing the ground. I thought it was over for me in a way I wish it was. But you saved me. In more ways than one. You flew as fast as you could and swooped down, carrying me in your arms. I cried and clung to you. You always told me I was a brave little warrior and that I could do anything. You were always like a big sister to me and I will miss you dearly.

Love,

Scootaloo

Comments

[Shy Marble Pie]

"I was flapping my wings as hard as i could." 'I' needs to be capitalized.

"Both kinds of tired." this is not detailed really and could use something more descriptive to flush it out and flow better. Such as " Both mentally and physically."

"I never slep't well. I always had problems sleeping." this comes off as kind of repetitive again. " I never slep't well. I always had problems with the night." might flow better.

The second "I'm just so tired." to flow better could be changed to. " I just feel so drained."

"So stressed so," I'd cut out that second so.

Last " down down down" should be "down,down,down" I think.