Trixie! Order Up!

by BrightIdea

Plans

Plans
By King of Malta

“And THAT is how Trixie and Company arrived at our present…circumstance.” Trixie finished her imperfect rendition of the last hour’s events with a non-chalet shrug,

Her telling had included how she had dazzled thousands of ponies on the street in Canterlot and how they had applauded her for more and offered her stardom and fame when Discord had arrived. After she had fought him to a standstill in an magical duel that had shaken Canterlot to its foundations and split the fabric of time and space. After Discord had siced thousands of Screwballs on her she had fought a running, organized retreat to Donut Joe’s noting its strategic worth. Trixie’s telling had also NOT included any mention of Lyra and the Urchin who still clapped their hooves once she had finished.

Donut Joe had just stared at Trixie and face hoofed.

“That story has more holes in it then my (soon to be) famous, Swiss donut…” Donut Joe replied and had begun to roll his eyes when a loud noise thundered across the bakery away from their hiding place behind the counter.

All four ponies slowly picked themselves up and peaked over the edge of the front counter and glanced at the glass windows that dominated the front entrance to Donut Joe’s. The outside still swarmed with Screwballs who occasionally battered themselves against the window comically, their comrades laughing at the attempts of the occasional battering ram-er and judged them with a lineup of score cards. Other Screwballs literally hacked or smashed against the window with a wide assortment of undersized tools from axes and hammers to jackhammers and dynamite-the latter of which always seemed to blow up in their faces. For whatever reason the window remained perfectly unharmed when in a normal situation it would have shattered ages ago.

Over the last hour their efforts had noticeably become disinterested and lazy. The Screwballs no longer hummed their tune, only occasionally had they blown a weak raspberry with their tongues, and a few had even slumped asleep. It was almost as if they had become bored without an audience.

“Don’t you guys think we should be coming up with a plan to get out of here?” Lyra offered once they had ducked back down behind the counter.

“Hmmm, no that does not really matter at this point” Trixie replied and examined her hoof as if she was uninterested in the whole situation.

“Why?” Donut Joe asked and scrunched his brow at Trixie, “I mean its not like those thing can get in he-“

“DON’T! SAY THAT!” Trixie shouted to Donut Joe’s surprise as she clamped his mouth with both her hooves. Suddenly, she seemed panicked compared to her calm appearance just moments before. She glared at him and pointed a hood toward the window, “Can’t you follow the script? Trixie has seen…and Trixie admits performed…enough poorly, written comedies to know those things are only waiting for the most ironic moment to break in!”

For several moments Donut Joe looked like he wanted to argue with her but, instead sighed in defeat.

“On a normal day I would call you crazy, but as you can see nothin about thing is normal. Still, we really can’t stay in here forever! Somethin has to be done about this Discord mook.”

“Hmm…” Lyra chimed in and tapped an improvised spatula-weapon to her chin, “Well, not really. From historical record Discord has been defeated before by the Elements of Harmony, something which his ego and pride had resulted in. I bet that while Discord will try to stop the Elements of Harmony again he will be unable to resist ‘testing’ any plan he has made. So, if the Elements HAVE managed to to get around his plots he will leave himself wide open. Eventually.”

“How likely is that?” the Urchin asked and tilted up the pot-helmet that covered most of his head.

“Well, it depends on the probability that the Elements of Harmony have managed to use their bonds of friendship to overcome Discord’s schemes…” Lyra shrugged helplessly.”

“Right! That’ll be Twilight Sparkle and that Pinkie Pie! Twilight has a good head on her shoulders, if any pony can defeat Discord it will be her!” Donut Joe nodded his head, she had been a customer of his for a while and he knew that Twilight wouldn’t rest until a problem had been answered. Mostly she tossed a few books at the problem until she had solved it into submission.

“Sparkle!” Trixie growled and narrowed her eyes as she imagined her ‘rival’ triumphant.

Twilight and her little friends would likely be honored by none other then Princess Celestia herself as they paraded themselves down a line of grateful ponies. There Princess Celestia would bestow Twilight her thanks and most likely add a new stained glass window commemorating their victory over Discord. Trixie betted that they would even have a amazing musical score as through the entire ceremony!

“If any Pony is going to be paraded down an aisle to an flank-kicking musical score it is going to be Trixie!” Trixie blurted out loud.

“What-“ Donut Joe had begun to ask but before he could finish Trixie’s hoof had once more found itself in his mouth.

“Not now! The Great and Powerful Trixie has come to the conclusion that we cannot rely on the Elements of Harmony to beat Discord!” Trixie said and jumped to her hooves with a determined gaze on her face.

“We can’t?” the Urchin and Lyra asked in unison.

“No! The Great and Powerful Trixie WILL be the one to defeat these laughably, lame lackeys!

“She will?” the Urchin and Lyra asked again.

“YES! The Great and Powerful Trixie cannot stand by while Equestria is ravaged by Discord. Trixie shall beat Discord at his own game. First, she will sweep aside his minions before she casts down the dastardly Discord with her own two hooves! Then all of Equestria will cry out in gratitude to their savior, The Great and Powerful Trixie!” Trixie stomped her hoof against the floor and bathed in the applause of the Urchin and Lyra as they clapped their hooves together.

“Hold up one minute.” Donut Joe interrupted as he climbed to his hooves and pointed at Trixie. “First off, STOP putting your hood in my mouth. Second off, how in the name of jelly filling are you going to pull that off?”

“Oh, poor, simple Donut Joe.” Trixie grinned as she used her magic to lift up a plate from the counter to her face, “With a dinner and a show, of course.”

Author's Note:

I should do this more often! You know, WRITE.

Comments

[Inferno demon Dash]

This had me laughing my ass off, I need this

[Zac the Pear]

YAY A NEW UPDATE!!!!!!!!!