After a painful introduction to the human world shatters Twilight, all she wants to do is go home though she can't. Can her human family give her a reason to stay and be happy?
Aww and there's the change to the plot. I'm guessing that it's up to Mac, granny smith and who knows what else. Also it's nice going back and seeing what is happening on the other side. Guessing Sunset being Celestia's daughter in this fic. Though curious on why sent to the orphanage at one point. Anyway can't wait for the next chapter.
Aww and there's the change to the plot. I'm guessing that it's up to Mac, granny smith and who knows what else. Also it's nice going back and seeing what is happening on the other side. Guessing Sunset being Celestia's daughter in this fic. Though curious on why sent to the orphanage at one point. Anyway can't wait for the next chapter.
Mac will be the start of it, though he won't actually be one of the ones who goes in after them. He will be the one responsible for it though. And yep, I think in most of my headcanons Sunset is actually Celestia's daughter. For most, including this story Sunset was given up because Celestia his her pregnancy with glamours so no pony knew and the houses wouldn't be going after Sunset trying to use her to get things they want through her since it was going to be a horrible time for something like this to be happening. As much as Celestia had faith that Luna could be redeemed, she was still afraid Nightmare Moon would not be stopped at first and could possibly go after Sunset. Only reason Celestia took her in as a student was because it did allow her to spend time with her as she needed some pony extremely powerful to train her in her use of magic as her power surpassed many of the teachers when she was only a foal. I hope you continue enjoying the story, if things go as planned there are two chapters left in this arc
Man Tirek, I know you're evil, but that entire scene with the tablet was a real d*** move to pull. irreplaceable*
Tirek is a sadistic bastard who will pay for what he's done very soon. (And thanks for pointing that out, it's fixed.)
Good call Sunset. Asking Twilight how she can possibly read almost eight full books in the span of... I want to say something like 4-5hrs maybe, is like asking Pinkie how she does anything, it's just not a good idea.
It's deffinately Twilight's bit of Pinkiness, and a little bit of humor wanted to put in to break up some of the bad stuff they are dealing with.
Whoa, jumping on the SunLight express kinda quickly there aren't you Sunset? do you have somewhere important you need to be?
Maybe a bit, but to be fair to her she did have a crush on Twilight to some extent before coming to the human world. Still, she's not so sure if it's the drugs starting to effect her or not, even if she hasn't had the newest doses of it.
... Well wherever your destination is, you're definitely getting there in record time.
Sunset thought she made a cute plushie, plus the comfort they provided each other just by being there with each other. (Still, maybe she is moving a bit too fast)
Makin' a lot of assumptions there, Scar. It could just be a crush for all you know. (We all know it isn't, but still.)
I was not expecting the scene where the idiot goons punish Sunset to be that intense. Not that I have a problem with that, it's just that what happened to her in relation to what got them in trouble seems kinda disproportionate. (Then again, those scumbags have probably been looking for an excuse to do that for years, so they most certainly didn't care.)
True, should I edit it or anything in the chapter to make it a little better?
And they were deffinately waiting for a long time to have a go at Sunset as they hate her seeing that at times Tirek treats her better than them. (At times anyways, as he doesn't care much about his cronies either except for Sombra who is like a brother to him.) He sometimes treats Sunset better as she's his biggest money maker, even with Silver Shot and knives taking care of the drug dealing they don't make what Sunset brings in.
“You bucking well should have! My daughter is who knows where because you thought it would be a good idea to leave it mostly unguarded!” Velvet screamed at the Princess, Night Light having to hold her back to keep her from attacking Celestia.
I know this is supposed to be taken seriously, but this line is so perfect I very nearly broke down into a laughing fit after reading it.
In her mind that was bullshit because her mother came back and took her as a student and treated her only as a student. Her mother didn’t want her, that was all there was to it. She threw herself in her studies when she found out* trying to show her mother she was worthy of being called daughter, yet it was never good enough. Nothing was ever good enough for the Princess…
*I think there should be a comma here. Damn it Celestia, I know you most likely had your reasons for that one, but can you please stop holding the Idiot Ball so close to your chest? You had literally one thing that you needed to do in that situation and you still chose to do the exact opposite?! I mean come on! (Pointing out how dumb Tia can be at times is still really fun to do.)
“What do you mean cared?” Twilight sniffed, feeling a little jealous of Sunset actually liking one of the guys who she had been forced to be with. She tried to push it back down though as she didn’t understand why she was feeling jealous of it as it was something neither of them could help.
Now Twilight being jealous about this makes sense to me. Imminent crush aside, Sunset is basically her security blanket since she's the only person actually making an effort to help Twilight through this hell that they've both found themselves trapped in. So it makes sense that, no matter how irrational/impossible it is, the thought that there might be someone Sunset likes enough to actually look forward to spending time with, instead of spending all of her time with Twilight, makes her worry that she's going to be left behind. (Need I mention how fresh the whole wedding fiasco is in Twilight's mind.)
“Are you saying that somebody is forcing you girls to do this?” Mac asked in horror at the realization of what he had been really doing with Lotus. The girl had been forced to be with him as this girl was being forced to. He had raped Lotus! He was just as big a monster as the bastards who were running this place if this was true.
... I honestly can't figure out what to say about the entire scen after Mac wins the auction. The way Twilight started to break down into tears and yet still tried to force herself to go through with it just so she could keep Sunset from getting hurt again, and the way Mac completely shut down after he learned the truth about the Lotus Blossom (Man, Tirek really has a thing for flowers, doesn't he?) and bolted when Twilight still tried to get him to sleep with her because she didn't believe he'd lie about sleeping with her to keep them out of trouble... I image that is the reaction you were looking for, so good job I guess? That's about all I can say about it.
I know this is supposed to be taken seriously, but this line is so perfect I very nearly broke down into a laughing fit after reading it.
You know, reading it again I can definitely see how it's kind of funny, the image of Velvet wanting to strangle Tie with her bare hooves if kind of funny
*I think there should be a comma here.
Damn it Celestia, I know you most likely had your reasons for that one, but can you please stop holding the Idiot Ball so close to your chest? You had literally one thing that you needed to do in that situation and you still chose to do the exact opposite?! I mean come on! (Pointing out how dumb Tia can be at times is still really fun to do.)
I fixed the comma, thanks It is always kind of fun pointing out how Tia can mess up sometimes, the idiot ball likely superglued to her hooves lol
Now Twilight being jealous about this makes sense to me. Imminent crush aside, Sunset is basically her security blanket since she's the only person actually making an effort to help Twilight through this hell that they've both found themselves trapped in. So it makes sense that, no matter how irrational/impossible it is, the thought that there might be someone Sunset likes enough to actually look forward to spending time with, instead of spending all of her time with Twilight, makes her worry that she's going to be left behind. (Need I mention how fresh the whole wedding fiasco is in Twilight's mind.)
I'm glad it made sense, I wasn't too sure if I made it clear how scared Twilight was of losing Sunset as she's all she knows here. Sunset would never actually abandon Twilight though no matter how much she might fear it could happen, especially with the wedding fiasco like you mentioned just happening recently.
... I honestly can't figure out what to say about the entire scen after Mac wins the auction. The way Twilight started to break down into tears and yet still tried to force herself to go through with it just so she could keep Sunset from getting hurt again, and the way Mac completely shut down after he learned the truth about the Lotus Blossom (Man, Tirek really has a thing for flowers, doesn't he?) and bolted when Twilight still tried to get him to sleep with her because she didn't believe he'd lie about sleeping with her to keep them out of trouble... I image that is the reaction you were looking for, so good job I guess? That's about all I can say about it.
Actually, my GF was behind a lot of this scene directing it as well as some of the things you suggested (unless I remembered them wrong as it happens more often than I like). She said it's to show that Twilight is willing to do anything to keep Sunset from being hurt again, but Mac can't bring himself to since she's clearly not wanting to and he's freaking out learning that they are prisoners there as well as realizing Sunset (or Lotus as he knows her) was being forced to do everything. He's supposedly scared and unsure of what to do wanting to help them, a part of him wanting to storm the place, yet knowing if they are capable of this who knows what else can happen.
And yep, there is a flower theme going on as Tirek named the club the Lotus Blossom naming his head girl Lotus and changing the other's names (except for Ivy who is actually named that) to match the theme of the club making fake ideas in case they are asked for them.
If this makes sense anyways.
Hope you enjoyed the chapter for the most part and if you have any suggestins feel free to let me know and we will try to fix it up, or at the least I'll try to...
5874078 Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. In the story Sunset was actually taken before she could attend CHS and life at the Lotus Blossom has changed her drastically. It is alternate Universe so the events of the first movie won't happen and the second movie won't have anything at all to do with it thanks to the changed rules of the Mirror. Happy that you enjoy the fic and more characters from the EG world will be introduced shortly as I will be posting the rest of the first arc soon which introduces even more of them. And starting next arc they will be going to school soon so hope you keep enjoying the story, thank you
Aww and there's the change to the plot. I'm guessing that it's up to Mac, granny smith and who knows what else. Also it's nice going back and seeing what is happening on the other side. Guessing Sunset being Celestia's daughter in this fic. Though curious on why sent to the orphanage at one point. Anyway can't wait for the next chapter.
5870113
Mac will be the start of it, though he won't actually be one of the ones who goes in after them. He will be the one responsible for it though. And yep, I think in most of my headcanons Sunset is actually Celestia's daughter. For most, including this story Sunset was given up because Celestia his her pregnancy with glamours so no pony knew and the houses wouldn't be going after Sunset trying to use her to get things they want through her since it was going to be a horrible time for something like this to be happening. As much as Celestia had faith that Luna could be redeemed, she was still afraid Nightmare Moon would not be stopped at first and could possibly go after Sunset. Only reason Celestia took her in as a student was because it did allow her to spend time with her as she needed some pony extremely powerful to train her in her use of magic as her power surpassed many of the teachers when she was only a foal. I hope you continue enjoying the story, if things go as planned there are two chapters left in this arc
5870715
Tirek is a sadistic bastard who will pay for what he's done very soon. (And thanks for pointing that out, it's fixed.)
It's deffinately Twilight's bit of Pinkiness, and a little bit of humor wanted to put in to break up some of the bad stuff they are dealing with.
Maybe a bit, but to be fair to her she did have a crush on Twilight to some extent before coming to the human world. Still, she's not so sure if it's the drugs starting to effect her or not, even if she hasn't had the newest doses of it.
Sunset thought she made a cute plushie, plus the comfort they provided each other just by being there with each other. (Still, maybe she is moving a bit too fast)
True, should I edit it or anything in the chapter to make it a little better?
And they were deffinately waiting for a long time to have a go at Sunset as they hate her seeing that at times Tirek treats her better than them. (At times anyways, as he doesn't care much about his cronies either except for Sombra who is like a brother to him.) He sometimes treats Sunset better as she's his biggest money maker, even with Silver Shot and knives taking care of the drug dealing they don't make what Sunset brings in.
I really hope you enjoy it
I know this is supposed to be taken seriously, but this line is so perfect I very nearly broke down into a laughing fit after reading it.
*I think there should be a comma here.
Damn it Celestia, I know you most likely had your reasons for that one, but can you please stop holding the Idiot Ball so close to your chest? You had literally one thing that you needed to do in that situation and you still chose to do the exact opposite?! I mean come on! (Pointing out how dumb Tia can be at times is still really fun to do.)
Now Twilight being jealous about this makes sense to me. Imminent crush aside, Sunset is basically her security blanket since she's the only person actually making an effort to help Twilight through this hell that they've both found themselves trapped in. So it makes sense that, no matter how irrational/impossible it is, the thought that there might be someone Sunset likes enough to actually look forward to spending time with, instead of spending all of her time with Twilight, makes her worry that she's going to be left behind. (Need I mention how fresh the whole wedding fiasco is in Twilight's mind.)
... I honestly can't figure out what to say about the entire scen after Mac wins the auction. The way Twilight started to break down into tears and yet still tried to force herself to go through with it just so she could keep Sunset from getting hurt again, and the way Mac completely shut down after he learned the truth about the Lotus Blossom (Man, Tirek really has a thing for flowers, doesn't he?) and bolted when Twilight still tried to get him to sleep with her because she didn't believe he'd lie about sleeping with her to keep them out of trouble... I image that is the reaction you were looking for, so good job I guess? That's about all I can say about it.
5870935
You know, reading it again I can definitely see how it's kind of funny, the image of Velvet wanting to strangle Tie with her bare hooves if kind of funny
I fixed the comma, thanks It is always kind of fun pointing out how Tia can mess up sometimes, the idiot ball likely superglued to her hooves lol
I'm glad it made sense, I wasn't too sure if I made it clear how scared Twilight was of losing Sunset as she's all she knows here. Sunset would never actually abandon Twilight though no matter how much she might fear it could happen, especially with the wedding fiasco like you mentioned just happening recently.
Actually, my GF was behind a lot of this scene directing it as well as some of the things you suggested (unless I remembered them wrong as it happens more often than I like). She said it's to show that Twilight is willing to do anything to keep Sunset from being hurt again, but Mac can't bring himself to since she's clearly not wanting to and he's freaking out learning that they are prisoners there as well as realizing Sunset (or Lotus as he knows her) was being forced to do everything. He's supposedly scared and unsure of what to do wanting to help them, a part of him wanting to storm the place, yet knowing if they are capable of this who knows what else can happen.
And yep, there is a flower theme going on as Tirek named the club the Lotus Blossom naming his head girl Lotus and changing the other's names (except for Ivy who is actually named that) to match the theme of the club making fake ideas in case they are asked for them.
If this makes sense anyways.
Hope you enjoyed the chapter for the most part and if you have any suggestins feel free to let me know and we will try to fix it up, or at the least I'll try to...
Intersting concept. Sunset hasn't turned all evil crazy here.
Is this fic not related to Equestria Girls? To put it in better words, is Equestria Girls not canon here?
Either way, I'll enjoy this fanfic, hope to see more.
5874078 Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. In the story Sunset was actually taken before she could attend CHS and life at the Lotus Blossom has changed her drastically. It is alternate Universe so the events of the first movie won't happen and the second movie won't have anything at all to do with it thanks to the changed rules of the Mirror. Happy that you enjoy the fic and more characters from the EG world will be introduced shortly as I will be posting the rest of the first arc soon which introduces even more of them. And starting next arc they will be going to school soon so hope you keep enjoying the story, thank you