Mystery Pony Theater 3000

by JusSonic

Chapter 3: Equestria: The Hands of Fate

Chapter 3: Equestria: The Hands of Fate

It is quite in the wasteland area. Nothing is around. A young Justin Beaver moves around, happily. Yes, he is very popular with the girl animals around this area. He has a good singing voice, a good career and is planning on a huge world tour. With his luck and as long as he dodges any haters, Justin Beaver will be the greatest singer ev...

Suddenly a car came from out of nowhere and run him over flat, killing the beaver. Inside, Mike yelps in alarm, "What was that?!"

"Oh nothing." Rarity said, looking back a bit. "We just ran over a beaver that no one knows about."

"Oh. Okay then."

"Hey, thanks for helping us further, Mitchell." Twilight said to Mitchell who is doing the reckless driving.

"Yeah, listen, lady, once this is over, I'm going to pretend not to know any of you assholes anyway." Mitchell remarks with a grunt. Twilight shrugs as she checks out the device that Joel had worked on which is attached to her former crown.

"Your new device is working great, Joel. It will lead us straight to the location of the Element of Loyalty in no time."

"Right...we can only hope to survive what awaits us out here." Joel said, shivering a bit. "And what awaits us."

"So uh...is this movie...the one we're dealing...is it really bad?" Fluttershy ask meekly to Joel, Crow and Tom. The trio had told their friends about "Manos: The Hands of Fate".

"What, are you kidding me? Even Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank felt bad about sending it!" Tom Servo complains to Fluttershy.

"The acting, the screen...look!" Crow cries as he motions to the scenery passing by. "It's happening just like in the movie! Mike, it's getting dark! I'm scared!!!"

"Yeah! Please find the location of the Element soon!"

A while later, Mitchell stops the car near a sign. Applejack frowns while asking, "Why yew stop Mitchell?"

"There's a sign that said "Element This Way, Stupid"." Mitchell remarks, pointing to a sign that ironically just said that. "We're walking, I ain't paying extra for gas."

"How the hell did you get all this way without getting gas?!" Tricia demands to Mitchell as everyone got out of the car, heading off on foot. Hopefully the location isn't too far.

"Hey, never you mind."

The group heads on, heading as some snake like creatures moves around which Mitchell shot at. Twilight yelps, "Oh geez, snakes."

"Actually, I think those are Squirms." Gypsy said, getting a closer look. "Look like the worms from the movie "Squirm".

"But they look like snakes! They freak me out!"

The group dodges some bottles being thrown as they move on. The heroes saw that the bottles are thrown by lovers kissing in a car. Joel sighs, "Yep. This is "Manos: The Hands of Fate"."

"Hey, are those two even important to the plot?" Spike ask as he glares at the Kissers. "Hey, come on! Do your kissing elsewhere!" The Dragon yelps as one bottle hits him. "Ouch!"

"Oh screw them!" Mitchell growls as he kept shooting at the Squirms and snakes. "I ain't waiting for them to finish getting it on."

"Did he actually say "get it on"?" Rarity ask Twilight in disbelief.

"Hay if I know. Discord, are you around?" Twilight ask curiously, wondering if Discord is still around.

Discord appears (spirit form). Mike blinks as he remarks, "Oh yeah. I forgot he is still around."

"Yes. I am happy to report...but unhappy at the same time...that Forrester and his pals are heading to a mountain area for the next Element." Discord said with a bitter look. "You better get all those Elements. I want that creep out of my body!"

"Oh, no worries, Discord. We will get the Elements and get that nasty Forrester out of your body." Fluttershy said with a smile to her friend. "Just hang in there."

"It isn't easy when I can't do anything in this...well, like this anyway."

The heroes move on, picking up gems (much to Rarity's delight). Rainbow picks up some sort of hand, blinking as she ask, "What's the hand for? Is this part of the movie you guys speak of?"

"Ugh. Maybe. Looks butt ugly." Crow remarks with a scowl at the hand that Rainbow's holding.

"Oh, like you would know." Tricia said to Crow with a frown.

The group heads onward. They saw some sort of building...a too familiar one for Joel, Crow and Tom's case, enough to give them the shivers. As they head closer, everyone can hear a haunting tone.

"Uh oh. It's the haunting tone music from "Manos: The Hands of Fate"." Pinkie said in concern as the music plays on. "And one of the baddies would..."

A familiar man came out, looking a bit drunk as he wobbles out on his stick. Applejack with a glance ask, "So who is 'dis laughing boy?"

"I Am ToRgO...I tAKe CaRe Of ThE PlaCe WhiLe ThE MaStEr iS AwAy!!" Torgo mumbles to the newcomers in his usual weirdo voice.

20 MINUTES LATER...

Everyone just stared at Torgo as Pinkie looked up.

"Well... this is embarrassing..." Pinkie paused.

"Are we... back on?" Mike asked.

"Yes! Go!" A voice from up above whispered.

"Right, right..." Twilight coughed. "Torgo?"

"Looks like Torgo's knees are back to the way they were..." Tom groaned.

"YOu CaNn-" Torgo started.

"Torgo, shut the buck up. One of the co-authors does NOT want to write your dialogue!" Pinkie frowned. "Not only is it annoying, but it's a waste of time for him because the message board he uses KEEPS FREAKING CORRECTING THE WORDS WHEN HE'S WRITING IT!"

Torgo frowned as he started limping in his own way, the music starting to play.

Mitchell responded by shooting Torgo in the face several times, causing Torgo to yelp.

"So, want to let us in?" Mitchell asked.

Torgo frowned as he decided to just write a note... he showed it to the group. "Very well. The master will be very disturbed."

"Thank you, Torgo." Twilight said as they were ready to enter in, Torgo walking in first as the Mane Six, Mike, Joel, the bots and Mitchell walked in.

Tricia Leonard was about to follow... but Twilight slammed the door in her face, and the door automatically locked. Tricia glared. "Thanks again, fuckers!"

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Torgo started writing down his next note as he showed it to the others.

"There is no way out of here. It'll be dark soon. There is no way out of here." Twilight read.

"It'll be dark soon!" Crow said in Torgo's voice.

Tom Servo noticed a candy machine and... a version of himself nearby. Tom shuddered. "Creepy..."

"Let's keep moving forward... this house seems a lot bigger on the inside than in the movie..." Joel said as they kept moving forward.

As they kept walking, Twilight noticed more Squirms and...

"Are those... puppies?" Twilight asked as they saw what seemed to be dogs... rats?

"I think they are..." Crow said. "If I can take a guess, they're the Killer Shrews."

"Shrews? They look more like puppies with bad fur glued on them!" Rarity frowned.

"Tell me about it!" Tom said. "Mitchell?"

"On it..." Mitchell said as he pulled out his gun, ready to shoot.

The group moves on, dealing with some green slimes which Joel recalled are Green Slime from the first movie he ever watch.

"Does anyone remember these things?" Crow ask as Mitchell and Twilight fire blasts at the Green Slimes.

"To be honest, not really." Joel remarks with a shrug. "The show was starting when I saw that film...and even then, the episode pilot never aired."

"Because of anything from KTMA sucks!" Tom Servo exclaims loudly.

Applejack dodges the Killer Shrews as she ropes them, tossing those creatures around. Mike calls out, "Be careful. If those things bite you, you're dead!"

"Thanks 'fer 'der warning, partner." Applejack remarks as she dodges a Killer Shrew.

As the gang approaches some stares, a screaming skull flew in, screaming. Fluttershy yelps, "what is that thing?!”

"A Screaming Skull...if you die, the movie will give you a coffin!" Mike explains, making the others a bit uneasy. "From fright, not boredom."

Twilight fires a blast at the skull but it went by it. The Alicorn groans, "Damn it! My magic can't hurt these things!"

"Just keep on moving!" Gypsy exclaims as the group moves through the area.

"Is it just me or does this area sounds like a rip off of Castlevania?" Pinkie ask happily as she dodges a spinning...thing. What is it anyway? I sure as hell don't know!

Anyway, because I don't want this story to turn into one freakish huge walkthrough, the gang moves through the areas, dodging/fight past Squirms, Killer Shrews, Screaming Skulls, Green Slimes, etc. You name it!

The group enters an area, finding a picture with a mean looking man and a dog. Mitchell looks at it, remarking, "I'm guessing this is Torgo's Master."

"And his dog!" Spike shudders, glancing at the dog. "I sure don't wanna meet that thing in a dark alley!"

"He looks mean and ugly." Fluttershy said worried. "And I normally don't have problems with pets."

"Who made this movie anyway?" Twilight ask the MST3K guys with a frown.

"Heh, some salesman who sells fertilizer." Joel admits to the ponies who gave him odd looks.

"A fertilizer salesman? Really?" Applejack ask in disbelief to Joel.

"Yeah. Can you believe we are going to make fun of this on Rifftrax?" Mike ask in disbelief, remembering that "Manos: The Hands of Fate" will be made fun of Rifftrax soon.

"Or now since it was made when this chapter was made!" Pinkie exclaims, making a happy squee noise.

"Pinkie, you are so random!" Rainbow exclaims, shaking her head in amusement.

The group moves on to a fireplace which has a huge alien like head and two ugly hands. It suddenly growls and fires out attacks.

"Damn!" Mitchell exclaims as he and Twilight fires at the head, dodging his attacks.

"Which movie is this guy from?" Rarity exclaims, using her magic to defend herself.

"Not a clue!" Tom screams out, yelping as a fireball hits him. "Owie, owie!"

"Whoa!" Spike screams as one of the blasts hits him in the tail.

Fluttershy gasps, then growls angrily at the attacker, "You big dumb MEANIE!!!"

Fluttershy roars as she flies at the alien head, pounding it a few times. Everyone else watch in shock and concern. That yellow Pegasus is nasty when she's pissed off! Soon the head explodes, dissolving the fireplace and leaving an entrance.

"Okay, Fluttershy. Fluttershy!" Joel exclaims, grabbing Fluttershy to calm her down. "It's dead, sweetie."

"Oh...sorry, I hate it when my friends get hurt." Fluttershy said meekly, calming down. Being that pissed, scares even her.

"Sooooo...who wants to go into the creepy tunnel first?" Gypsy ask, glancing into the tunnel with her pals. "And does this area even exist in the movie?"

"Better than stay here and get fondled by Torgo." Crow remarks, shuddering a bit.

"Fondled?!" The ponies yelps in shock as they rush into the entrance.

"Out of the way, out of the way!" Spike exclaims frantically. The last thing he wants is to get touched by a weirdo with bad knees and a bad accent!

The MST3K humans shrug, Mitchell followed as the gang goes through the entrance.

-------------------

In all the while, it took the gang a while as they kept traversing into the dungeons of the rooms... until they came across... a weird looking dragon like thing...

Twilight grimaced. "What is that?"

Crow squinted. "Not from any movie I saw..."

"Isn't that thing from the Angry Video Game Nerd game?" Mike asked.

"I think THAT came out AFTERWARDS." Joel explained as the Dragon started breathing fire.

"Well, we better team up and kill this thing quick..." Tom sighed. "This chapter is delayed enough as it is..."

Everyone nodded as they started throwing what they could at the dragon until it... evaporated into thin air.

"All righty, let's move on..." Pinkie said as they started to go outside.

All of a sudden, a game box appeared as it read 'What a horrible night to have a curse!'.

"...oooooohhhhh... all the Angry Video Game Nerd references we can make!" Crow whined.

"I know! But I don't think JusSonic had the mindset to watch the internet show!" Tom groaned.

"Uh... guys?" Twilight said as they noticed the screen moving. "We've gotta run!"

"All aboard that's coming aboard!" Gypsy said as everyone started to run.

"Let's keep running, let's keep running!" Rainbow Dash called as they started to run, defeating any enemies along the way.

Pretty soon, they finally reached a good segment as they heard a devilish howl.

Fluttershy screeched a bit. Joel sighed. "The Devil Dog... we must be getting close..."

"Anything we should know?" Twilight asked.

"There was a part in the movie where a family's dog body was found dead, we all presumed, and confirmed, the Master's Dog killed it. Fortunately, no dogs with us!" Joel explained.

"This must be it!" Fluttershy said as the Master's Dog came out.

The dog growled as it was about to pounce... before Fluttershy did her Stare at the dog, making it yelp as it ran off.

"Fluttershy, you impress us." Tom said.

"I try my best..." Fluttershy said, blushing a bit as they moved on a little more.

"Hey..." Rainbow smiled. "An airplane!"

"What?" Crow said, staring at a plane right in front of them. "Okay, hell no! We're not doing the Silver Surfer montage!"

Rainbow Dash paused as they saw Torgo flying around in an airplane, waiting for them.

"I didn't know Torgo could fly a plane..." Mike said.

"He can't." Tom sighed.

Torgo, hearing that from up above, frowned. "Oh CuRsEs."

The plane then ran out of gas and started to fall down to the ground below.

Joel paused. "Great, that's done. Let's move on to the next part..."

"Shouldn't we worry about the other Dragon flying aroun-" Twilight said, pointing to the red Dragon like creature flying around... before Mitchell aimed his gun and shot at the Dragon, making it evaporate. "...eh, you got it."

"Moving on!" Joel said as the others continued on their way.

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Pretty soon, the gang were inside a cave as they were jumping around, avoiding crawling hands and bubbles... until they came across something interesting.

"Oh no, it's that guy..." Tom sighed.

"You are a hu-man, not a Ro-man! Ro-man must kill all the hu-mans!!" a mysterious figure said.

"Fill us in a little?" Applejack asked, pointing towards the creature.

"Let me, this is Ro-Man from the monster "Robot Monster"." Joel explains. "He came from Earth to wipe out the humans, got attracted to a girl and tried to kill everyone..."

"And came the ending which keeps repeating itself." Crow groans a bit in annoyance.

Ro-Man growls as he jumps at the group who moves to dodge him. Mitchell fires his shots at him while the ponies quickly assaulted the Robot Monster thing.

"How did the heroes beat this guy?" Twilight calls out as she fires a magic spell at Ro-Man.

"Well, it's kinda confusing. It was his boss who killed him off...and even then most of the film was only a film." Tom Servo explains awkwardly.

"Yeah, it doesn't make sense to me either." Gypsy remarks with a scoff. "And I do my best to stay out of the theater!"

The gang dodges the swinging spike balls and the bubbles while dodging Ro-Man who just hops around. Rarity snaps, "Can't this ruffian learned anything but hopping?"

Ro-Man roars as he hops at Rarity, causing her to scream. Spike in fury jumps and fires a huge flame breath at the Robot Monster, knocking him back. Rainbow flew around and beats him a few times before Mitchell fires a few more rounds.

Ro-Man stops, groaning, "This hu-man..."

"And robots." The robots reminds Ro-Man that the robots are here.

"And ponies!" Pinkie reminds happily to Ro-Man.

"...and ro-bots and po-nies is too strong for Ro-Man! You may pass, hu-man, ro-bots, and po-nies..." Ro-Man admits in defeat as he moves to let the group through.

"Thank you, yew is so kind." Applejack said with a nod as the group heads up the stairs.

"Geez, this guy is a wuss when exposed to fire breath and gun shots." Rainbow remarks, shaking his head.

"Why else is he in a bad movie?" Crow ask the ponies dryly.

----------------

The gang arrives in a new area and climbs up some stairs. They spot Torgo on the other side.

"Hey, Torgo! What are you doing?" Spike calls out to Torgo.

Torgo didn't answer. He jumps onto a switch, causing the room to rumble before rushing off. Mitchell snaps, "What the hell?!"

The gang saw that the whole room begins sinking downward. Twilight yelps, "Everyone moves up!"

"I hate these scrolling sequences!" Mike complains as the gang moves upward, shooting at the Crawling Hands while dodging the swinging spike balls.

The gang has to jump across platforms while moving ahead of the screen. Pinkie, bouncing, ask happily, "So, out of curiosity, what is this Riff-trax thing?"

"Who told you that?" Mike ask Pinkie, blinking a bit.

"I read the prologue, duh! And you guys mentioned it, remember?"

"Huh. Well, it's work me and the robots do, riffing movies like we did in the good old days. Joel here did some movie riffing work with some people."

"Yeah, it's amazing how many bad films there are." Joel remarks with a light chuckle. "We haven't riffed a film in a while."

"Hey, maybe you can riff movies with us, Joel!" Crow exclaims to his creator with a hopeful grin.

"Yeah, it's good for us to be doing it with you again!" Tom Servo exclaims playfully.

"Maybe when I find the time and when this is over." Joel remarks with a shrug.

"Can you believe we have been doing this for a long time?" Pinkie ask, bouncing across the platforms. "We would've gotten to other projects by now."

"Hey, Orange was busy. Can you blame him?" Rainbow ask Pinkie. She pauses, then frowns. "And since when the hay did we ponies begin breaking the fourth wall like you?!"

"By the authors' choice, duh!"

"This is taking too damn long!" Mitchell exclaims, shooting at the hands and running along. "Why can't we teleport to the end already?!'

Twilight pauses, then slaps herself on the face. She ask, "Why the hell didn't I thought of that sooner?!"

Twilight teleports herself and the group to the top of the stage. Rainbow remarks, "Yeah; that would work."

The group arrives outside and heads to the right, finding some ladies tied up to columns. Fluttershy spoke, "Who are these women?"

"They are the Master's Wives." Joel explains to the ponies, making them blink a bit.

"So he get married more than once?" Spike ask in surprise and curiosity.

"Wow, if that could happened, I would've married both princesses by now!" Twilight remarks. She blushes as her friends look at her. "Err, not that I'm a lesbian or anything."

"You're bi-curious. We're proud of you to admit that." Mike chuckles as he pats Twilight on the head.

Suddenly a booming voice is heard, "Arise, my wives! Give ears to the word of Manos!"

The wives woke up, untie themselves and attack the group. They yelp as Mitchell fires at them, yelling, "Hell, I don't normally shoot ladies but damn, you ain't ladies!"

"Back off!" Applejack snaps as she kicks at a wife, knocking her into the gunshots. "We ain't gotta be sacrificed 'ta yer god or whatever yer Master is!"

"One party cannon, coming up!" Pinkie yells out as she opens fire on the wives, sending them packing.

Twilight fires a blast, getting rid of the remaining wives. The group moves on to see a familiar monkey, holding a familiar Element. Professor Bobo smiles as he said, "Hey, guys! You came to see the show?"

A mustache man in a red robe is nearby, glaring at Torgo as he snarls, "You have failed us, Torgo!! For this, you must die!!"

"So what are you going to do? Get the wives to massage him to death again?" Tom Servo ask the Master with a bored look.

"Newsflash, we put them to sleep!" Crow snaps to the Master furiously.

The Master ignores the robots as he shoves Torgo's hand into a torch. The servant screams as he runs off with his burning hand.

"Ick! That must hurt." Rainbow remarks bitterly.

"Quiet, this show is getting good." Professor Bobo remarks, eating some popcorn.

The Master glares at the intruders, exclaiming, "Manos!! God of Darkness!! The Hands of Fate have doomed this man!"

"Ahem!" The robots and ponies exclaims impatiently to the villain.

"And ponies and...metal things."

The Master prepares himself as did the heroes. Twilight exclaims, "Quick, Joel! How did the hero beat this guy in his film?"

"You don't wanna know!" Joel exclaims frantically to Twilight.

"Why?"

"Because, the Master wins!"

"Oh, horse feathers!" The ponies exclaims in horror. They are so boned.

Manos then gave a smirk as he stepped near the others...

And that's when... he just got zapped.

In thin air.

...No, I'm serious, he was actually zapped out of existence.

The others just looked in shock and confusion as Crow said, "O... kay, what just happened?"

"I think one of the authors just wanted this chapter to end just as much as we did..." Pinkie groaned.

"Oh great, it's going to be one of those 'Monster a Go-Go' endings..." Tom Servo groaned. "We all hated 'Monster a Go-Go'!"

"Does it matter?" Rainbow smiled as she saw her Element floating. "Here's my element right now!"

Rainbow smiled as she was about to reach for it...

"Uh, not so fast!" Professor Bobo stepped in. "Thanks to Pearl's little magic instruction manual she got... I have the power to transform into a final boss!"

Everyone gasped as Professor Bobo waved his hand and transformed into... a statue.

"Face the wrath of me! I think..." Professor Bobo called. "Uh... as soon as I move..."

"...You can't move?" Rainbow asked.

"Not really..." Professor Bobo moaned.

"Then I'll just take this..." Rainbow Dash smiled as she marched over to her Element and took it by her hoof.

"...I should have considered giving this more thought..." Professor Bobo sighed... just as he was suddenly teleported.

Twilight smiled as Rainbow gave her the element as Twilight zapped Rainbow's element back to Princess Celestia. "That's two down... four more to go..."

All of a sudden, Cambot started to react as they turned to Cambot, out of curiosity.

Cambot then activated as the screen showed Forrester and Pearl, frowning.

"Okay, so you've gotten past Professor Bobo! Well, no matter... we already stationed Brain Guy near the next Element! Now, we're on our way to locate the third element!" Pearl smirked.

"Where IS Brain Guy?" Twilight asked.

"Oh, he's over near the lost city in the ground from 'Final Sac-'" Pearl started... before shaking his head. "I mean, like we'll tell you that!"

"Anyway, we're off! Until next time... push the button, Frank!" Dr. Forrester called.

"Right away, Clay!" Frank said as he was about to push the button, turning the monitor off.

The others looked at each other as Mike snapped his fingers. "Pearl may be smart, but she can do some stupid blunders. I think we just got an idea on where we need to go!"

"Final Sacrifice?" Crow asked... before chuckling. "This is going to be a lot of Canada bashing next chapter..."

"Canada bashing?" Twilight asked.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKERS GET BACK HERE THIS MINUTE!"

The others turned and yelped as they saw a pissed off Tricia Leonard running in with a crowbar.

"We'll explain later, let's go!" Mike said.

"To the plane!" Rainbow said as they started to head back towards the plane.

"Come back here so I can bash your brains in!" Tricia yelled, following the people responsible for leaving her behind.

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The gang manages to get to the plane and got in.

"Okay, time we go. Let's go!" Mike exclaims quickly to the others.

"Shouldn't we wait for the woman?" Fluttershy ask, making the others glare at her. "Oh. Never mind."

The gang flew off as Tricia yells out, "You can't keep me out of this forever! God, I hate you guys. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you..."

The gang sighs as Rainbow flew around the plane. Joel comments, "Well, that's the hardest way to end a movie."

"Let's see what's on the radio." Gypsy suggests as Twilight uses her magic to turn the plane's radio on.

Some music plays. Twilight nods, saying, "Looks like soft music."

"Hang on, this music sounds familiar." Tom Servo said in concern. The music from this radio sounds familiar.

Forgetting you is a thing that I can not do

"Oh God! It's the love theme song from...Manos: The Hands of Fate!" Crow groans as the others groans as well.

Yet I know It is very true
I'm forgetting you
Remembering nights together won't be again
For our time had its happy end
I'm forgetting you

Don't forget the silly way we met
Don't forget the tender touch that set a fire burning in two
But I'm forgetting you

April's here and it seems you are oh so near
When I look this dream disappears
I'm forgetting you
I'm forgetting you

Don't forget the silly way we met
Don't forget the tender touch that set a fire burning in two
But I'm forgetting you

April's here and it seems you are oh so near
When I look This dream disappears
I'm forgetting you
I'm forgetting you

"One more time!" Spike exclaims as the music comes to an end. He yelps as the others hit him. "Ouch, what? Owie, stop it!!!"

Author's Note:

Poor Spike. Oh well. Next time, the gang hit the mountains for some much insanity while making fun of Canada. Read, review and suggest.

The opening is a reference to Justin Bieber. Come on, who doesn't want to make fun of that asshole?

The story is a reference to the video game (yes, there it one) of "Manos: The Hands of Fate".

Mostly, Orange Ratchet has been delaying which explains one part of this fic. He also had trouble in writing Torgo's dialogue too.