Hope

by Dashie4747

One day

Hope ;By dashie4747

"Don't cry because it's over, Smile because it happened"- Dr.Seuss

There are some days where your life seems to fit perfectly in place. There are also days I could just curl up into a ball and scream. Sometimes the hardest challenge in life is not to perform the everyday tasks in life but to cope with the stress that comes with them; I wish I knew that earlier. I wish I knew earlier that all that was needed to cheer up your day was that one thing in life that can make you smile. When your life is as dark and dull as it can get then all there is to do is wait in the darkness for that one thing that brightens your life. I am a changed guy since it happened to me and I will never forget what I was told and taught. What you might ask? Well, this is my story when one event changed my entire life forever.

Day by day I wait for my wishes to come true. I never expect them to because they aren't possible. Only in my dreams and in my mind can I truly allow them to come to life, but not anymore. Longing has become a habit of mine resonantly, that longing to belong. I wish I belonged. The rain had been pouring down in almost waves of water but I was used to the rain. The rain almost always mirrors my emotions another thing that made life so bland and dull was the fact that nothing out of the ordinary seemed to happen. I only wish It did. Just like in my little pony friendship is magic. How I long to be there so much I would almost break down in tears. It sounds strange but this is how emotionally connected to my little pony I am. So much laughter and warmth that it warms my heart to the point I want to just hug the person closest to me. My little pony has been the one thing In my life that has kept me sane. I am only seventeen years old yet life continued to spin in the same pattern it has always done. Nothing seems to change. Yet change is often what I am most afraid off.

Every day starts the same. It seems to repeat itself over and over boring me to the point I feel like a tape recorder replaying the same movie over and over. I really didn't think it was possible for my life to be lit up in some interesting way or form. I know now I was so wrong.

My story begins on a wet, cold and miserable Monday afternoon. Nothing abnormal seemed to stand out to begin with apart from the large amounts of rain forecasted on the news. I wake up wishing that the day would magically fast forward and I could get back to the think I loved most. My little pony never stops giving me joy. It is the one cartoon that has changed my life so much for the better and I will always be great full for that. There are many downsides being a bronie such as having to hide pictures of rainbow dash I might have drawn or keep the sound low so my step dad doesn't hear when I'm watching an episode. All those down sides are worth it for the moments of joy I spend watching my little pony.

This Monday was particularly rainy for some reason but it didn't faze me at all. I could hear the wind blowing against my windows and it made me feel warm. Just before I went to school I remember walking past my living room where my step dad was sat and on the news I could hear the news reporter talking about some kind of electrical interference form the storm and around my area. I thought nothing of this and left the house promptly after that.

I am not going to mention how my day was at school due to the fact it is all the same boring retinue. Maybe that's why I like my little pony so much, because it gives me that little colour in my life. Every day I want to tell my friends so badly that I am a brony but just can't because I am afraid they will all tease me and It would never stop. Another thing I hate about school is rumours travel like wild fire in a forest. For now I will have to keep myself to myself.

School had gone particularly slow that day. Exams clouded my mind with worry and dread which fills me with torment. I finally reach home lazily trying to fit my keys into the door with half eyes closed. The sluggishly walk through the door with my step dad making the remark, “look it’s the walking dead". I ignore his sarcasm as usual. I was too tired for shit like that. I walk upstairs to my room but something made me pause. My door was open which is unusual for me because nobody ever goes in my room. So I continue to walk expecting my mum to have put away some of my cloths.

I walk into my room dropping my bag behind me and closing my door. I instantly sit down at my desk and turn on my laptop. I say hi to a picture of rainbow dash above my laptop. Every time i look at that picture a smile is instantly brought to my face. The genius that is my little pony friendship is magic.

I immediately log on to my fan fiction account to check my stories. I knew I was never the best writer but someday I hope to be. As I trolled down the page looking at some story comments that had popped up and suddenly hear a knock at my door. I turn my head to look at the door then shouted "what do you want mum"? I always presumed it was my mother because she was almost always checking on me. That was another thing that annoyed me. The fact I had to turn the volume right down on my laptop just to watch one episode of my favourite show in the world. There was no answer from the opposite end of the door.

Before I got up I minimized the tab I was on. I swung open my door and looked around. Nothing as the silenced ringed vigorously in my ears. I retreated to the comforts of my room when the knock once again rattled my door. I ran to the door this time swinging it open quickly but found nothing once more. Anger raged through me like a fire on fuel.

I slammed the door and turned quickly back to my little pony. I look up to see that in my chair sat the most astonishing sight I will ever see. She was bright pink with a darker pink colour hair .Her eyes sparkled as dark blue as the ocean from space. Her hear or main seemed to spiral and curl in almost all directions and she wore the biggest smile I had ever seen in my life. My heart stopped and my head exploded at the pony that sat in front of me. My heart had now begun to pound faster and faster as the world around me seemed to fall and crumble. After what seemed like years of falling I finally hit the ground being surrounded by darkness. Only the memories still recorded itself over and over in my head. The situation seemed to dawn on me faster than a tonne of bricks coming crashing down on me. Was that pinkie pie sat in my seat?

Comments

[IncoherentOrange]

I mean no harm to your integrity, but your grammar is poor. You need to go over a lot, especially capitalizations, fluency, spelling, and homonyms. (Your description has the wrong form of right/write/wright/rite and certain is spelled 'curtain', for example.) Find an editor.

[abandoned2123]

My friend, you're getting into dangerous "My Little Dashie" territory here. I don't like to compare, but the protagonists between the two share a lot of similarities, and I'd like to warn you that you're going to get some criticism for taking a route down this sort of plot-line.

My major suggestion to you would be to try and develop your syntax. Throughout this chapter I noticed a lot of run-ons and sentence fragments that took away from your prose and interrupted the flow that you were trying to carry out. In order to fix this; I would high recommend that you find an editor to help you fix your errors one-on-one. There's many around the site that would be more than willing to help you if you got in contact with them.

[Dashie4747]

582505 582508 Thanks guys !! I am well aware that my grammar is awe full and will will see to get someone to check my writing before posting!! This was just a test to see if the idea worked is all. Thanks so much anyway and much appreciated!!

[Techno Mike]

Awesome ideas, now it's just a matter of fixing your spelling and grammar. Also, make sure everything makes sense. "Minimizing the tab I was on?" Did you mean "Closing the tab" or "Minimizing the window?" Other than that, everything's great. Keep it up.
My Rating So Far: Decent.
(I'm using my background knowledge for novels instead of fanfictions. )

[Techno Mike]

It seems I have come upon the noticable lack of grammar, as your audience in it's entirety.

[Techno Mike]

582508
The My Little Dashie theme is okay to me.

[reader of the night]

I agree with Orange and Ginger you do need an editor/pre reader and the story is also cruising a bit to My Little Dashie but i'm sure that you can make something original with this.
It has potential and i would love to see how this story unrolls.

Goodluck with the new chapter.

[princesscadence42]

Nice Sorta my little dashie but I like pony on earth ficsAlso, there's a bit of weird grammar and spelling. (eg. Trolling down the page, minimised the tab)

[Cry Havoc]

Thought the English may be faulty, I heartily enjoyed this. You have thus earned a PRESIDENTAL BROHOOF!!!

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[John H]

I'm going to read this and give it a shot because of two reasons. First reason, My Little Dashie is the one cross-dimensional fic involving humans that didn't make me wish to profusely vomit into my roommate's sneakers. I see this on the front page of [guess which site!]. Then I think to myself, "waoh now, My little Dashie but replace sadness with insane hilarity and awkward train-wreck humor? Count me in."

You could literally write countless comedic episodic entries of unrelated misadventures for an idea like this. To be honest, it feels like an anime premise (though that may be why I'm attracted to it so much). Anyway I'll quit blabbing and read the thing.

EDIT: Aaaagh! Grammar! Syntax! But in seriousness, I'd say make it somewhat more lighthearted. I mean, Pinkie Pie is involved. Most stories involving bronies interacting with ponies typically portrays the brony as helplessly depressed and deprived of happiness. Go for "bored" more than "unhappy." Have you also considered the main character leading an ordinary and peaceful life which he doesn't want changed or messed with? Seeing a brony actually rustled by an actual pony's presence might prove to be more compelling of a plot.

So much potential! But however you write it, at least take the story somewhere. Don't leave us hanging!

[Konics]

i want to read MORE......

[Dashie4747]

yeah thanks for your help tho guys much appreciated, again I'm just a begginer so my spelling is awefull and I'm still getting used to new language techniques!! Thanks again to you all!!

[Joel]

LONG STORY SHORT:

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