Welcome to the floating city of Blackwater, were the rum flows like the blood, and the young grow up by spilling it. For young Star Charter, becoming a pirate was the only path in her life to take, but unlike with war, that changed.
Mixed tense doesn't usually bother me but this jumped up an bit me for some reason
The cunt did stab me and threw me into the water.
I think its because putting did in there messes something up. so ... The cunt did stab me and throw me into the water. or ... The cunt stabbed me and threw me into the water.
Shit I've become a grammar Nazi .. shoot me now.
Other than that this was a much easier read than parts of Stable-Tec R&D.
It is improving with every chapter put out though! Leaps and bounds over Stable-Tec before it was gone over!
Anyway, onto the chapter!
There is more to the eye than just using the stair, obviously, but the red and green reminds me of Sombra's eyes. I'm really interested in what it actually is, and what it's full potential is! I'm just waiting for Star Charter to start to ask for Crystals to eat. But overall, another good chapter, where the assault has begun and then there's the return of Prism! Should be interesting to see where it goes!
5784107 thanks, grammar will always be a problem for me, but at least with the writing in general, I'm improving.
5784902 Close on the eyes, but just revers the two colors. (Green on the inside, and red on the outside.) There will be a lot of eating, but sadly no crystals. I like to keep my evil magic simple, insidious, and fun.
Mixed tense doesn't usually bother me but this jumped up an bit me for some reason
I think its because putting did in there messes something up.
so ... The cunt did stab me and throw me into the water.
or ... The cunt stabbed me and threw me into the water.
Shit I've become a grammar Nazi .. shoot me now.
Other than that this was a much easier read than parts of Stable-Tec R&D.
5784107
It is improving with every chapter put out though! Leaps and bounds over Stable-Tec before it was gone over!
Anyway, onto the chapter!
There is more to the eye than just using the stair, obviously, but the red and green reminds me of Sombra's eyes. I'm really interested in what it actually is, and what it's full potential is! I'm just waiting for Star Charter to start to ask for Crystals to eat. But overall, another good chapter, where the assault has begun and then there's the return of Prism! Should be interesting to see where it goes!
5784107 thanks, grammar will always be a problem for me, but at least with the writing in general, I'm improving.
5784902 Close on the eyes, but just revers the two colors. (Green on the inside, and red on the outside.) There will be a lot of eating, but sadly no crystals. I like to keep my evil magic simple, insidious, and fun.
Wow. I guess there are side effects to magical rituals like that.
The frenzy thing reminds me of vampire the masquerade I like it though a bit of regen is always nice