Honestly my first thought was not about the story. My first thought was, I so want that outfit. Eh, what's a curse or two right Dash The Stampede?

All you needed to make this a creepypasta parody as well was mention that your character bought off it e-Bay for $10 from a guy that really wanted to get rid of it, or a creepy old guy at a garage sale whose name was Natas XD. Then you could have gone for a double parody.