Warped Reflections - A series of very short one-shots

by abcd_z

I couldn't resist. ;)

Author's Note:

Inspired by Over The Hills and Far Away

Twilight, Fluttershy and Phil walked together towards Twilight's library treehouse.

"Are you sure it's safe for me to be in Ponyville?" Phil asked. "That's still a stupid name for a town, by the way."

"I'm sure it's fine," Twilight responded. "After all, your power only activates when you get splashed with water."

The three turned the corner and stopped dead in the street. In front of them was a large raised platform that took up what would normally have been an empty field. On this platform was a human male, putting on some sort of performance for the large crowd of mares that had stopped to watch him.

"I thought you said you'd never seen a human before!" Phil yelled, outraged.

"I haven't!" Twilight exclaimed, equally shocked. "I have no idea who this is or where he came from!"

The stranger noticed Phil and his friends. "Excellent!" the stranger cried, dragging Phil onto the platform with him. "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you our newest arrival to Ponyville: Phil!"

The crowd cheered, and Phil blushed a little. Phil waved and said, "hello," weakly.

"Isn't he great, folks? This is a perfect example of a human from a backwater, unimportant planet called Earth."

"Hey!" Phil yelled to object.

"That planet is so amazingly primitive," the stranger continued, as if he hadn't heard Phil, "that it still thought cellular phones were a good idea."

"Hey!" Phil yelled louder than before, upset by the stranger's callous disregard for his species.

"He is, to quote a certain intergalactic guide, mostly harmless. However, there's one thing you must never ever do."

The stranger leaned over and grabbed a heavy bucket that sloshed as he moved.

"You must never, ever, do this!"

With that, he dumped a bucket of water over Phil's head.

"Augh!" Phil yelled in shock. "Cold! Cold water!"

Phil shook the water off as best he could.

"What the hell did you do that... for... "

Phil trailed off as he realized that every single mare in the audience was now looking at him in crazy adoration. They slowly started moving towards him.

"Uh-oh."

Phil addressed the smirking human without taking his eyes off the slowly-advancing throng of ponies.

"I hate you more than I have ever hated anyone in my entire life," Phil said.

"That's great," the stranger responded facetiously, still smirking, "but you should probably start running."

Phil took the stranger's advice and bolted back the way he had came, followed shortly by a stampeding mob of love-struck ponies.