Daniel is incredibly mature for his age...to the point where he's too serious for his own good. What makes it worse is he can't express his emotions well. Throw something like that into a world of colorful singing ponies and you've got
Honestly Rowan, as much as I love the mlp series, each of the mane 6 have their faults in them. Twi can be bitchy, Rarity snobbish, Dash arrogant, Applejack proud and Fluttershy a downright pushover. The show hints at these faults, but never really goes into them. I will XD
Just saying, but it is going to take more then a few months for Twilight to gain his trust back. They barely know eachother and she already assaulted him in the worst possible way for such a small thing. I expect him to truly fear Twilight considering her crazy tendencies.
That was my goal Muza...each of them will have to slowly earn his trust; Twilight more than the others. I noticed that twi "makes friends" too easily, so for once, I wanted her to WORK for that friendship
Oh yes, he left the house without saying so to your face but left a note. That totally justifies wanting to hurt him (in case you couldn't tell, the bold lettering represents my raging sarcasm)
Well...after reading through this entire chapter I will now make it my mission to teleport to that dimension and personally bitch slap everypony (except Frost and Discord, they don't deserve it) So prepare your body for that shit.
This story, I don't, ok here's how I feel. The plot is almost nonexistent as all we know is that Discord brought 'Frost' here because meh and you know reasons. The pacing is insane, I feel like I'm just getting summaries or clips of the full story so nothing really fits right. Everyone is hyper emotional to the point of if a pin dropped someone would explode in response, for some reason frost is supposed to be wise and mature beyond his years but his first response to being dropped in Equestria, a place that you imply he knows plenty about, is to run away from those most likely to help and go off and figure things out on his own? That sounds pretty immature to me. Also as a nitpick of mine, stop trying to use so many big descriptive words, when done right it can be clever but just because you know the word husky doesn't mean you know the right context. Most of this is just my own frustration and you shouldn't take it personally, if I had to guess you're young or you're still new to the writing process, but I see your potential behind your clutter. Keep trying , take criticisms, find good people to help you when you need it. DONT ASK YOUR FANS FOR HELP, I know it seems like a really easy way to find someone to help you out but trust me a fan of your story is way more biased towards you and won't give you the criticism you'll need to better yourself as an author, maybe find another author you haven't really met before and see if they can help you a bit. Sorry for the rant and good luck!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, twilight is kinda a bitch in this. But I still love it.
Honestly Rowan, as much as I love the mlp series, each of the mane 6 have their faults in them. Twi can be bitchy, Rarity snobbish, Dash arrogant, Applejack proud and Fluttershy a downright pushover. The show hints at these faults, but never really goes into them. I will XD
Just saying, but it is going to take more then a few months for Twilight to gain his trust back. They barely know eachother and she already assaulted him in the worst possible way for such a small thing. I expect him to truly fear Twilight considering her crazy tendencies.
That was my goal Muza...each of them will have to slowly earn his trust; Twilight more than the others. I noticed that twi "makes friends" too easily, so for once, I wanted her to WORK for that friendship
WAS THAT REALLY NECESSARY???!!!
Now I expect him to be even LESS cooperative with Twilight.
Oh yes, he left the house without saying so to your face but left a note. That totally justifies wanting to hurt him (in case you couldn't tell, the bold lettering represents my raging sarcasm)
Well...after reading through this entire chapter I will now make it my mission to teleport to that dimension and personally bitch slap everypony (except Frost and Discord, they don't deserve it) So prepare your body for that shit.
This story, I don't, ok here's how I feel. The plot is almost nonexistent as all we know is that Discord brought 'Frost' here because meh and you know reasons. The pacing is insane, I feel like I'm just getting summaries or clips of the full story so nothing really fits right. Everyone is hyper emotional to the point of if a pin dropped someone would explode in response, for some reason frost is supposed to be wise and mature beyond his years but his first response to being dropped in Equestria, a place that you imply he knows plenty about, is to run away from those most likely to help and go off and figure things out on his own? That sounds pretty immature to me. Also as a nitpick of mine, stop trying to use so many big descriptive words, when done right it can be clever but just because you know the word husky doesn't mean you know the right context. Most of this is just my own frustration and you shouldn't take it personally, if I had to guess you're young or you're still new to the writing process, but I see your potential behind your clutter. Keep trying , take criticisms, find good people to help you when you need it. DONT ASK YOUR FANS FOR HELP, I know it seems like a really easy way to find someone to help you out but trust me a fan of your story is way more biased towards you and won't give you the criticism you'll need to better yourself as an author, maybe find another author you haven't really met before and see if they can help you a bit. Sorry for the rant and good luck!