Always nice to see another shot being taken at PonyHammer 40Whatever mashups. I like how close you tried to keep the preface.

Sphess mehreens! We stehl our enimies for teh emprah! - commander boreale

Shoudnt there be ponykind at the start of this text?

Very well tought out so far - a seamless mesh and very promising.

5515377
I was thinking the same.
But the story is with human characters apparently ^^.

So, thoughts on the first chapter. I'll preface by saying that I've never read, played or anything like that regarding 40k, so pardon me if I don't get some of the allusions. As far as intros go, this isn't bad. I'm guessing it's designed to mirror the opening of something regarding 40k (really, really sorry if I'm butchering anything).

My biggest fear, from the looks of things, would be that some parts of it could easily be missed if you have no familiarity with the franchise, which I'll admit to being a stickler for when it comes to crossovers. Regardless, I am interested in seeing where this goes.