After a few minutes of flying the two ponies had finally reached Derpy’s house. It was just a normal yellow Ponyville house. A few failed DIY attempts dotted the outside, a broken bird house and a crooked table, but other than that there wasn’t anything to distinguish the humble house from any other Ponyville home. There was, however, a large tree in the garden, with various fairy lights hung over it. This was probably just a Hearth’s Warming Eve decoration, Derpy had always been one to enjoy the festivities of the day. There was also a hastily hung up wreath hanging on the small wooden door. But Rainbow didn’t pay attention to these things for so long, instead watching the still bawling Derpy Hooves as she quietly opened the door. The two trotted in.
The inside was a stark contrast to any of the festivities that were going on outside, there wasn’t a light on in the whole house, and not even a single decoration. Rainbow’s relative happiness took a sudden drop as she walked through the morbid abode. She went past a kitchen, which didn’t have anything cooking, a meagre living room with walls that seemed almost bare. No Hearth’s Warming Eve decorations, and just a picture of Derpy and DInky in one corner to adorn the walls, and a garden that was even messier than the one at Scootaloo’s house. Just being in the house made Rainbow feel saddened and let down, and she was starting to feel uneasy. There was nothing about the house that even hinted at any sort of festivity, except for the outside.
Rainbow followed Derpy up a flight of stairs. The second floor was just like the first; sparse and empty. A few frames hung on the walls, the floorboards uncovered and in need of some care. The two ponies walked up to a door that had a finger painted sign that said Dinkyz Room. The grey pegasus opened the door and trotted in, Rainbow gulped and followed her. The room had pink walls and a light blue rug, there were a few hoof paintings and childlike drawings stuck onto the walls. They were mainly crude depictions of Derpy and Dinky playing together, one had the caption I luv my mummy! on it. In the middle of the room was a large quilted bed, with a lamp on a bedside table beside it that gave off a dim glow.
On the bed lay the filly, Dinky Hooves, and indeed she seemed to not be moving at all. Rainbow could see that she was still breathing, but any sign of other movement had gone from her body. The filly’s face was deathly, bags hung under her eyes and her whole nose had reddened. Her lilac coat had grown pale, until she resembled a ghost. Rainbow didn’t know what was the matter with Dinky, all she knew that the poor filly was not well at all.
“She’s been really ill for ages and today she’s gotten really bad! I’m worried, Rainbow Dash!” cried Derpy as she closed the door behind her.
“Well, sorry Derpy, but I don’t know what’s wrong, what’s happened!” replied Dash.
“Dinky had been really ill for ages and then this morning she just stopped moving! She’s really worrying me Rainbow Dash!”
“Derpy I don’t know what’s wrong, and I do not know how to help her!” said Dash in an agitated tone.
Derpy sighed and trotted over to her daughter, laying her hoof upon her motionless body, and starting to cry even heavier than before. Rainbow just looked at the distressing sight, she wasn’t tearing up, and that worried her for a moment. But she definitely wasn’t smiling, her face had turned into one of grief, sorrow and distress. She tried not to look at the two ponies and instead glanced outside the window that was shining dimly on the room. Outside it was still snowing and a few pegasi blissfully flew past, lobbing snowballs at each other and laughing. They were having the time of their lives, but Rainbow was far from having that right now.
Suddenly, in a fit of coughs and sputters the small filly burst back into life. Her mother jumped back in shock since it happened so quickly. Rainbow’s sombre expression lightened up, and so did Derpy’s tears. Dash began to ponder why Derpy had even brought her here, or why she even followed her in the first place. Why didn’t Derpy just call a doctor? Why did she try to get help from random ponies? Why did she leave her obviously very ill daughter? Rainbow didn’t bother to come up with a proper answer for any of these and just brushed it off as something Derpy would do, she wasn’t the most together pony after all. Rainbow looked back at the mother and daughter, who were now just staring into each other’s eyes.
“Mummy... I had,” Dinky was interrupted by a rough cough, “the most amazing dream!”
Derpy smiled at her filly and said “Well then, tell me about it.”
“I was on a massive balloon then out of the sky, muffins rained down! You were there with me, I was so happy!” coughed the filly.
Next to Dinky lay a small teddy bear, its eye had been ripped out somehow and wool poured out of various holes, it had clearly been played with a lot. The filly grabbed the bear and brought it up to her lap, she gave a quick glance at her mother to show that she wanted her to play with it. Derpy picked up the bear with her mouth and began to make it do a little jig in front of the filly, who smiled in delight. Derpy’s crossed eyes stared at her gleeful daughter, her tears had dried up and she was happy once again.
“Well, it seems like everything’s fine. I guess I should leave then.” said Rainbow Dash, awkwardly scratching her neck. She was itching to go and get back to Scootaloo’s house.
“No, don’t, Rainbow, I want to give Dinky her present!” replied Derpy.
“Well, I guess I can stay a little longer.”
Derpy wandered out of the room and into another, she grabbed a small box wrapped in a patterned paper and brought it back into the filly’s bedroom. She skipped over to her daughter and placed the box on her lap. Dinky looked down at the present in both excitement and confusion, she wondered what this mysterious package could be. Derpy looked into Dinky’s eyes and gave a quick nod, telling her she could open it. Dinky proceeded to tear the wrapping paper off with her hooves, sending small bits of the paper flying over the room. Inside was a small box, with the words Property of Derpy etched onto it. The filly opened it up to reveal a small bubble blower, covered in tiny etchings of swirls and spirals. Dinky glanced up at her mother with a confused grin.
“This is the first ever bubble blower I ever owned! I had it when I got my cutie mark. Go on, give it a blow,” giggled the cross-eyed mare.
“Uh, mummy, I need some of that stuff to make bubbles.”
“Go on, it doesn’t need that!”
Dinky put the strap that was attached to the bubble blower around her hoof and brought it up to her mouth. She gave a short blow and, like magic, bubbles burst out even though there wasn’t even any liquid inside. The filly stared in amazement at the shining bubbles, she hadn’t seen anything like this before. Tens of tiny bubbles floated around the filly’s head, her eyes followed them in pure glee.
“Mommy,” said the filly.
“Yes?”
“Thank you.”
Suddenly, the filly broke into a fit of coughing. Her body started to violently convulse, throwing sheets off the bed. Derpy tried to hold her down and stop her shaking but the violent fit made her grip break. The pegasus burst into a shower of tears and Rainbow glared in shock at the convulsing filly.
“Dinky! Stop it! You’re scaring mommy!” cried Derpy, once again unsuccessfully trying to stop her daughter’s fit.
With those words, Dinky stopped her fit and fell back onto the bed, motionless. Derpy started to weep tears of joy and gave her the biggest hug a mother could give. She squeezed the filly as hard as she could, just assuming she was fine. When she let go of her daughter and looked at her, she wasn’t moving. Derpy ran to the other side of the room and grabbed the bubble blower, which had been thrown off the bed. She went back to her daughter and started to blow bubbles over the filly in a desperate attempt to wake her up.
“Look Dinky, bubbles!” wailed Derpy, trying extremely hard to smile.
Rainbow Dash, who had been standing at the back of the room, ran to her friend and tried to comfort her. Derpy didn’t notice the pegasus that was now standing beside her and blew a few more bubbles. The filly continued to lie there. This didn’t stop her mother from trying more things to encourage her to wake up. Derpy picked up the bear and made it do a little jig above the small pony.Eventually, In a final attempt at waking up the filly, Derpy ran outside, grabbed a large plate of muffins and galloped back inside, waving the treats under the filly’s nose. Dinky continued to neither move nor breath. Derpy’s heart sank as she realized what had happened to her only child.
“Come on Dinky, wake up for mommy! You can do it, come on Dinky!” Derpy cried desperately, “Dinky please, don’t do this to mommy! Just wake up, please just wake up!”
I think it's pretty good.
A funny quote would be like "I'll see you in hell"
Noooooo Dinky!!!!!
490507
You got that quote from the song Runaway by P!NK, didn't you?
490616
Starwars actually but yeah [I know both references]
Oh bloody hell, when you said "a series of tragic events" you weren't lying! (The state of Derpy's house is... worrying, and implies more than you directly say, you evil git - and the same with the garden back at Scootaloo's...)
490933 Guess you're reading more into it. Also yes, I am an evil git.
490548 Could you maybe point a few of them out for me?
494681 damn I didn't think of that. I'll put it in in a later edit.
497755
It's really good otherwise! Keep writing!
497809 Yep, the third chapter should be up by friday. You should fave so you can see it. Thanks though
497822
Fav'd!
497838 Thanks, can I ask you something. Do you reckon I should submit this to EQD? I submitted the first version of it, which lead me to do the rewriting. But I don't know if I should send this version in just yet and use the second of my three strikes, leaving me only one more try.
497842
I've yet to read all of it, I had to stop after about 2/3 of the way through the first chapter (school and such), but as soon as I give the rest a read, I'll give you my personal opinion. But so far, I'm really liking it!
497857 Thanks mate, I'll see what you think then wait for my editor to come back from where ever the hell he is to make one final check for grammar mistakes, then I'll submit it.
497871
Sounds good.
497881 Have you read it all yet? If so tell me what you think
I noticed a couple spelling mistakes, but hey no one is perfect
But also the fic is well written. Well done
Dude, that was pretty awesome. I am a huge fan of HiE fics (or what ever they're called ) and this is hitting the spot. Keep up the updates! Those end-of-chapter cliffhangers make me want to make one of my friends into a cupcake!
499050 Where may I ask?
499051 Thanks mate
But can I ask, what's a HiE fic? I just wrote this as a sadfic, so I'm not sure what you mean.
From Chap 1
" “And, dinner is ready!” shouted Kristy from the kitchen."
You forgot the T
From Chap 2
“Come on Dinky, wake up for mommy!"
You meant an O, right?
499065
I'm not entirely sure myself, I think it's a sad fic or something, I know that's what they called MLD and Memoriam and all that jazz.
499073 Oh silly me, I'm a Brit you see, and we write mom and mommy with a u instead of an o, I changed most of them but I guess I didn't see that one. Will go in and fix them now, as well as adding in why Rainbow couldn't visit Rarity.
499079 Just say a sadfic, it's easier to understand. But yeah, this isn't even the beginning of the depression, there is a LOT more to come.
499089
Great... Slendy likes depression...
499119 But you're NOT Slenderman? Colour me confused!
499122
What, who said Slender Man was honest? I'm no Applejack, mind you
499133 I've had some bad run ins with ol' Slendy, one involving a cactus. Wasn't very nice. So I'm going to keep my eye on you
Oh, okay. I won't keep an eye on you, because I don't have any eyes.
497871 I'm reading it ASAP
499051 And I believe HiE stands for Humans in Equestria
499837
Oh, okay. I wasn't sure, so thanks for telling me. So, in that case, this is nowhere near being an HiE
Oh, wow I like the small hints that things aren't as they seem, such as the state of Derpy's house, and the gardens at Scoot's and Derpy's. I assume you'll be revisiting the whole Scootaloo situation though?
500206 Yep I'm gonna elaborate on that with a conversation later in the fic.
500166 Well that scene was longer before editing, but we decided to take a lot out since it was a sudden change in perspective from Rainbow's to Scootaloo's. Something I'm only gonna do over whole chapters, not just paragraphs.
502026
Makes sense. Can't wait to see it develop!
Chapter 3?
505015 you shall find out what happens to dinky in chapter 3. Which shall be out soon! Did you like it though?
506635
First of all, you probably killed Dinky.
Second of all there are no Fedoras, Fedoras are cool and I demand
one be in this story.
It shall be decided by Dinky's fate.
506798 That just gave me an idea. Later in the fic Rainbow meets the man from the painting in chapter 1, he shall be wearing a fedora.
Chapter 3 will tell you what happens to Dinky, it's not good.
poor Dinky
Poor Derpy
Awkward Dash