Never Alone

by New Spark

The World Outside Looks so Unkind

-------------------------------Whirlwind’s POV------------------------------------------
Gosh, Cottoncandy, I haven’t seen you in so long, Whirlwind thought as she glanced at her phone. No messages. A charade that had been going on for almost a week. She hadn’t received texts, calls or any acknowledgement whatsoever. She wondered what had happened. He said he was busy, and she respected that. She didn’t want to pressure him into doing anything he didn’t want to do. But at the same time she wished she just knew what was going on. Did he not like her anymore? That’s unlikely. She hoped he was just dealing with the hustle and bustle that came with being an adult and not because of her.

I mean, I know we were arguing a bit and then thigns go awkward, but we’ve always smoothed those types of things over in the past. Was it something I said? Because I was confused. About me, about him, about us, about life, and have totally said things I want to take back. But Cottoncandy’s a sweet colt. He understands all that stuff and always respects my opinions. Bloody hell. We all have our disagreements.

Whirlwind stared at the piece of paper on her desk. She was in class and it was a work period, but since she’d have plenty of time to do the work at home, she didn’t put it as a priority at the moment.

Or is he okay? Is e facing some kind of disaster he doesn’t want to tell me about? Does he miss me? Or is he just busy? He’s done this once before, near the beginning of the year, and he was just busy. So I guess that’s good. If he’s busy that means he’s getting work done and thinking on immediate stuff and not about how lonely he is. That sweetheart. I feel so helpless sometimes. I help the guy as much as I can but obviously that’s not enough.

Whrilwind decided that maybe she should do her schoolwork now, so she could maybe visit Cottoncandy this afternoon. The Russian revolution gave her much less scary than the mystery surrounding Cottoncandy was. Taking a few deep breaths, she tucked the thought of her sweet colt into a corner of her mind (for that thought was never out of her mind) she started filling out the paper.

--
As the lunch bell rang, she checked her phone again. No messages. Okay. She wouldn’t pressure him.

“Watch the fuck out, bitch,” an orange-coated unicorn about her age shouted as he shoved her to the side. That was Tiger Claw, a colt about her age who just seemed to love to fuck with her at every time they ever came into contact. She remembered how on the first day of school she’d seen him sitting all by himself and had tried to make friends with him. Well, that didn’t end well. Tiger also had his gang, two other ponies, Imperial Ice and False Gold, who just had so much fun insulting her and seeing her suffer. It had hurt her for a long time, though she had never dared let it show. But now, SHE DIDN’T GIVE A SINGLE FUCK!! They were twats, and why should she care about twats when she could be caring about people that actually mattered, like Cottoncandy?

Whirlwind walked down the wide hall, which was lined by blue lockers, her hooves feeling cold on the light gray-green floor. She walked down that halls by herself but not really feeling alone. Ever since she had met Cottoncandy, she had never, ever felt alone. She passed by a group of fillies, with perfect hair and beautiful clothes, laughing. She remembered how she had tried so hard the year before to fit in with those bitches. She remembered how awkward and freakish she had felt. And remembered how, after meeting Cottoncandy, she never felt the need to be accepted by ponies who would never accept her.
Whirlwind sat down on h heat register beside a pair of doors, a relatively unpopulated place, and checked her phone again. Shit. He still hasn’t replied. Okay, that’s okay. He can do whatever he wants. She started eating her lunch. The only honest thing she wished she could do was help him.

-------------------------------CS’s POV-----------------------------------
The rain was still pounding on CS’s window as he got his saddle bag ready. He looked over his flat, making sure everything was in order. His eyes lingered on his collection of games, mostly Equestria Calling.

One of the few joys in CS’s life was playing Equestria Calling. He wasn’t sure what that game did to him but it was fucking awesome. It had such an awesome story, such well-built characters, such awesome graphics, awesome everything. It heightened all the senses starting from imagination to logic, and made the mind almost… forget, really, the dark realities of his life.

But he didn't have time to play right now, as he had to go to work. Work. It was a thing he thought he’d love when he was eighteen. It was a thing he try his best at. And it was also a thing that made him feel like a failure. But he guessed he just had to deal with it. Like most of everything else. Tears welled up in his eyes as he walked out the door, and he blinked them back so nopony would see.

Cotton walked down the parking lot to his car, the rain soaking him as it had done for the past two months. He now kept a towel in his car in order to dry off and not get absolutely everything wet. Not that it helped all that much.

The rain banged on his windshield all through the ride, never ceasing.
Cotton walked through the doors of the Tech Shop and prepared himself for another soul-sucking day. The overly-bright, fake lights glared at him, seeming to want to burn him up.

--
Eventually, a group of three young mares came up to him. One had a dark pink mane and bright white coat, another had a bright gold coat and a purple mane, and the last had a red mane and light pink coat. Oh, cool, CS thought, they want my help. I guess it’s time to be useful.

“Hi, ladies, do you need help with anything?” He asked politely.
“Yeah, we’d like help with fixing our phones, could you help us figure out what to do?”
“Yeah, you’ll have to register and then I’ll take it to the back. Here, come with me.” Cottoncandy got them registered and left their phones in the pending room, after labelling them, so that they could be recovered. Things seemed to be going good so far.
“So is that it?” he asked.
“Yes, thank you,” the dark pink one said, pretty unemotionally. Cotton smiled to himself.

When the mares had walked a few feet away, another mare, probably one of their friends, came to join them, which CS noticed out of the corner of his mind. But it was the words that came after that really made their mark.
“OMG why did you guys ask for help from that dude? He’s like, fuckin’ ugly.” The new mare thought CS couldn’t hear, which make it all the worse.
“Yeah, he totally is,” one of the girls said in agreement.

CS’s eyes welled up with tears he was barely able to blink back. Breathing was hard. It was as if a huge boulder was dropped onto his chest from the top of a skyscraper. everywhere he went, everything he did, always resulted in the same thing: exclusion, judgement and hate. Hating him seemed to come naturally to people and he thought that could only mean that something was wrong with him. He couldn’t figure out what it was but he hated it. It sucked all the hope from him.

Soldier tried very hard to forget the incident, to focus on his work, but he couldn’t. It didn’t even really stop after he got home. Soldier remembered someone, probably one of his teachers, telling him once that you shouldn’t let one bad incident ruin your whole day. But it was impossible to do so. CS’s life was filled with bad incidents and hopelessness. It couldn’t just be a pattern.

Or so he thought. What the pony mind often forgets is that tomorrow always comes and there are good ponies as well as bad ponies and that hope exists. Sometimes things may seem bleak and horrible, but there’s always an escape route, always a way to find yourself.

The rain pounded on his windows and he thought it very appropriate for the situation. He texted the only pony he felt comfortable to about talking about his problems.

Author's Note:

I can't give you any clear answers. I can't make the pain go away. But I will be there for you. I will understand you. I will love you. And I will always KNOW this:
At some point or another, it DOES get better

Comments

[TwiwnB]

she tucked the thought of her sweet colt into a corner of her mind (for that thought was never out of her mind)

I personnally love those little author's comment that give more depth to a character or, in this case, a relationship.

“OMG why did you guys ask for help from that dude? He’s like, fuckin’ ugly.”

I have a friend who is like that. Cannot go to the bar without commenting on how the lady server looks. So f***ing annoying and shaming.