Cottoncandy Soldier is a stallion who has given up on love. Whirlwind is a filly who has just found it. Equestria is a land overtaken by the subtle evil of Apathy. The elements of harmony are slumbering, waiting for new bearers.
Cottoncandy Soldier, a twenty-year-old colt living in the harsh and unforgiving city of Manehatten, during the harsh, cold, unforgiving reign of Apathy, feels that things are never going to get better for him. He has never felt the magic of friendship, or the power of love. Each day he goes to work alone, walks home alone, goes to bed alone and does practically everything alone. He has been bullied all his life, and is a social outcast. He feels that no-one wants him, no-one needs him. But boy is he wrong. There is a filly who sees him as a friend, a confidant, and a savior. A filly who's had multiple dreams about him. A filly to whom he means so much. And there's a planet that needs him. A planet which only they are qualified to save. Because they are the only children left with the power of kindness, the only children who truly, truly have the friendship of magic within them. And the Elements of Harmony, well, they are looking for new bearers. In this futuristic world, old royalty lies dead, old comradery lies waiting rebirth.
This is set in a future where Equestria is a lot like Earth and had most of the same technologies.
The steady torrent of bone-chilling rain against the dark gray sky reflected the torrent of bone-chilling, dark gray misery inside Cottoncandy Soldier, or CS as he liked to call himself. The gray apart buildings all around him were cloaked in shadow, much like his future. Though he was nineteen, he felt like a lost six-year-old, desperately wanting someone to hold on to. He walked on through the storm, shivering, his umbrella not doing much to guard against the rain. There were a few other ponies around him, none of them made eye contact.
Alone. That’s all CS ever felt these days. Ever since he’d moved out of his parents’ house, that’s all he’d felt. He woke up alone, in a cold. He drove to work in his small car, alone. He worked, programming computers, alone. Sure, he interacted with people there, but it never got over that formal, business level. And then he went back home alone. Sat on the couch, all alone, made himself dinner, all alone, and went to sleep, on that same, cold small bed.
As he got to his building, tears formed in his eyes, blurring his vision. The air seemed to turn thick, pressing down on his heart and making it hard to move. Taking a deep, shaky breath and gathering himself together, he pushed the door open and dried his feet at the rough mat at the door. Then he proceeded to walk up the gray concrete steps, each step sending a numbing chill to his hooves. He walked down the hallway to his apartment, his thoughts multiplying in the silence.
Throughout his whole life, he had been an outcast. He was a lonely foal as long as he could remember, sitting in alone in the corner during lunch. He was a lonely teenager, his awkward looks making all the other foals turn away. Fillies rejecting him, harshly, at every turn of the road. He;d felt like … like he wasn’t accepted on the face of this Earth. Like everyone just wanted him dead. At least there was his family then, though. His mother and his father and his older brother, they;d all been there to accompany him throughout his life. Now he didn’t even have that. His brother had grown up and moved away when he was thirteen, and had found a beautiful mare to spend his life with. And now CS had grown up and moved away, except this sibling wasn’t as lucky when it came to the matter of romance.
The sight of the door to his apartment put his thoughts on pause, as he reluctantly turned the metal doorknob with his magic, throwing his saddlebag on the floor and thumping down on the faded green couch in frustration. he wasn’t like this on all days. Usually, he was full of energy and ready to be put to work or play. But now sheer depression had just exhausted him.
He’d hoped that maybe, the environment of adulthood would be better. That he might make some friends at trade school. But those hopes were crushed within the first week. He met one colt, who he thought could maybe be his friend, but even that colt had a marefriend and a “life,” and therefore no time for him. And the mares. Gosh, those were the meanest bitches he’d ever encountered. Everyone seemed to have a life, and a marefriend and friends. Everyone except him. He didn’t hate anyone, he was never mean, and he tried to be nice, but nothing worked. Wherever he went, he was always labeled an “ugly nerd,” and was never even given a chance. Was this just his destiny, wasn’t it. Unfortunately. God, he hated destiny. He hated feeling like he was never going to find anyone. He hated feeling like he would never find peace in his life, or the magic of friendship. He hated feeling like the society he lived in wanted him dead.
He turned gt up from his position on the couch, and spotted his reflection in a window. He was thin and tall. His fur was a light pastel blue, and his mane was a light brown. His eyes were big and a brilliant sky blue. The type that one could gaze into for hours and smile and feel their hearts grow warm. But he never saw any of this. He just saw mare after mare calling him ugly. He just saw overly bony cheeks and and a really nerdy mouth a totally un-hot body. He hated the way he looked. He hated himself.
“Bzzzz bzz” the phone in his saddle bag started buzz, and he went over to get it. It was exactly what he wanted to see, a notification that Whirlwind had texted him. That filly. The only friend he had. A soft candle of light among the frightening dark.
“Busy day?” it read.
Cottoncandy Fire smiled, just a bit. And his eyes teared up again.
“Busy? That doesn’t begin to describe it. I’ve had a horrible day. I’m all alone and going through the worst period of my life,” he answered.
One minute passed, two minutes, three minutes, four minutes, five minutes, six minutes, and finally a reply came.
“Sweetheart. <3 Just bear through it baby.”
This didn’t fix anything. But I guess it helped.
Time to get to work. And if he had time after, he could maybe play Equestria Calling, the best video game that had ever happened to him.
Has CF read my text yet? How is that sweet colt? What’s he doing? When will he respond to me?
These were honestly the only things Whirlwind could think of as she walked home from school. There was a lot of homework, and she’d do it. The world was a cruel, horrible, fascist place, and she’d deal with it.
There were millions upon millions of children dying each day and she’d try to help them. Global Warming would kill them all by the time she died, and she was sure humanity would live through it. She had Cottoncandy Soldier and that’s more or less all she needed.
Before she’d met CS she’d been … not at peace with herself, or her life. Sure she’d had a lot of friends. Or she thought she had. She’d honestly only had a crowd of people to hang out with. I mean, the only time they paid attention to her was when she was doing something outrageous, such as pole dance on the soccer nets. They never ally liked her, just the laughs that she brought. Even her closest buddies were constantly trying to whether trick or pressure her into doing something she didn’t feel comfortable doing. They were technically nice to her, but judging by the bit of viciousness in their eyes, the bit of trickery in their eyes, she could tell that they cared nothing about her.
But for a reason she did not know, she always found herself running back to them. Trying so hard to impress them. he didn’t even want their affection, just their attention. She always felt incomplete when she was with them. She smiled, because she felt like smiling, but it wasn’t a content smile. It didn’t feel warm and peaceful and ecstatic and loved and free. It felt incomplete, like she was trying so hard to be something that she wasn’t. Because that was what she was doing. Being with them felt like being on a rollercoaster, and reminiscing their memories felt like waiting for a death sentence. She was constantly looking for a way to make them like her, though she knew not why.
He early childhood was spent without “conventional” friends so I guess that was why she was always looking for a crowd. But gosh, the crowd she was in made her feel like more of an outcast than a lack of a crowd ever did. They made her hate herself and her life and honestly, by the time a school year was over, the pressure from teachers, students and the world in general had stolen her motivation.
And CS brought it back. He was an amount of kind, a level of kind that nobody outside of her family had ever been to her. She could be herself around him. She could tell him everything. She knew that he loved her. He didn’t just hang out with her to hang out with someone. She didn’t just deal with her in order to get something. HE. LOVED. HER. And he was her waking thought. He was the reason she washed her face and brushed her hair and smiled. He was the first name her mind thought of when she thought of happiness. He meant so much to her. She just hoped she knew him.
CS I honestly honestly hope you find happiness in you life, because by Celestia, you’ve made my life so damn awesome. You showed me what friendship is. You’ve shown me what love is. You’ve shown me what it is to be accepted. You’ve shown me what it is to be myself. and I hope above hope that you find yourself and that you find peace and love. I hope you find all the things you’ve shown me.
You mean so much to me. I hope you know that. I know how horrible Equestria is right now. I know how some people are just treated so unjustly.
“I SWEAR BOY, I WILL DAMN FIRE YOU IF YOU WANT TO PULL SOME BULLSHIT LIKE THIS AGAIN!!!!” The angry old stallion known as CS’s Boss yelled at him. Beside him was another angry stallion, a customer, who looked just about ready to beat him to death.
“LOOK, WHEN I BROUGHT MY PC TO THIS SHOP, I WAS WASN’T EXPECTING THIS FUCKING CHILD TO FORGET TO SAVE MY PRIVATE FILES!!”
Cottoncandy’s eyes welled up in tears, though he blinked them back so no-one would know. The words stung so much, each syllable bringing on a new wave of pain. He wished he could just… disappear.
“DON’T YOU FUCKING DO THAT AGAIN YOU GOOD-FOR NOTHING PIECE OF SHIT, YOU HEAR ME?”
“Ye-yes,” Cottoncandy stammered, his voice shaky. Pain was all he felt. Overwhelming pain.
“I hope you learned.” The stallion’s voice was cold and apathetic, like he didn’t even care about the damage he’d just inflicted.
The customer walked away from the shop, staring daggers at the sweet, hurt child.
CS silently wept. He had so wanted to do his best here. To be accepted, to be loved. But his first month wasn’t even over and he was already in so much trouble. He worked so fucking hard. By Celestia, he put his heart and his soul into what he did and that was the honest truth. He’d spent hour after hour after hour after hour slaving over some broken laptop or PC and But as a newbie adjusting to his new life, how could any mortal pony not make a beginner’s mistake a few times.
--
Cotton had no idea how he got through the day, but now he was home. Now he was home, now he was depressed, and now he was exhausted.
He got lunch ready for himself, his head hanging low.
Whatever I do, wherever I go, I can’t do anything right. Whoever I talk to, they don’t like me. Whatever I do, I fail. Sometimes I think I’ll succeed but I always end up failing. I’m a failure. A problem. I. Am. A. Problem.
Cotton sank down onto his knees on the floor, crying uncontrollably. He could never be happy. He’d never find refuge. He’d never find love. After what seemed like hours of pure, heart-wrenching misery, he got up. His movements dead and unnatural, as if he was a zombie. His soft-feathered wings reached for a knife. He took it and aimed it right at his neck.
Ding-dong. The doorbell rang. But he didn’t hear it. The knife inched closer and closer, about to deliver the fatal wound.
Smash! Something snatched the knife from his wing and crashed into the cupboard.
A second look revealed a soaking wet teen-aged filly with coral fur and a sky blue mane, and a magnifying glass for a cutie mark. Whirlwind.
“Don’t you ever do that again!” she sobbed, reaching over to hug him. He returned the embrace feeling, after a long time, that he was home. Tears of relief ran down both of their cheeks.
----------------------------Whirlwind’s POV, two hours earlier--------------------------------------
“I was almost fired. I can’t do anything right. I belong nowhere. I’m a problem. My life is a problem.” That’s what Cottoncandy’s text had read.
Whirlwind’s heart momentarily stopped. Tears built up in her eyes. Her worst fears were coming true. She forgot how to breath. And then she ran downstairs.
“Mom, I have to go over to a friend’s house. He really, really needs me.” Whirlwind tried to be calm, but failed as she told her mom, a white-coated, loving mare, of what she was doing.
“You stay safe, honey,” the always-understanding mare said.
Whirlwind ran to the bus station and jumped on the first bus to catch the first busto Mane. As she stood on the crowded vehicle, her sweaty wings holding onto the pole, her thoughts raced. What in Tartarus was Cottoncandy doing? Was he alright? Of course he wasn’t, but how not alright was he? Was he alive. Could she save him? Could anyone? By Celestia, why did such a good pony have such a bad life?
The rain pounded on the windows of the bus and a hundred-pound hammer pounded on her heart. She was panicking more than she had ever panicked in her life. Breathing became difficult. Cottoncandy Soldier, PLEASE don’t be beyond saving.
--
As the bus came to a stop, she flew off as fast as she could and pumped her wings towards the direction of Cottoncandy’s apartment, not bothering to put her umbrella on. She dashed up the stairs and pounded on the doorbell. What seemed like an eternity, though it was less than a second, passed and heart heart once again came to a stop. No, she thought, this can’t be. Flying out of the building, she flew up to CS’s flat, and looked for open windows. There of course weren’t any. But she did see Cottoncandy, about to end it all.
And she slammed herself against the kitchen window and snatched the knife from Cottoncandy’s hand.
“Don’t you ever do that again!” She sobbed, hugging her sweet soldier. Blood, tears and rain water mixed as the two ponies sat there, on the wet floor littered with shards of glass, sobbing in each others’ arms.
Anguish was replaced by relief by the time that the pair stood up.
“I almost gave up.” Soldier said. “Don’t you dare do that my fluffy fucking fighter,” Whirlwind replied. “But everything seemed so hopeless.” “That’s some of our lots in life. But I’ve seen you play Equestria Calling. You are a soldier and soldiers have to fight through the storm.” A small smile formed on Whirlwind’s face. “A first person shooter and war aren’t the same thing,” Soldier replied blankly. “But you’ve survived war, too. You’re a soldier. It’s even in your name.” “I wish. I’m not brave or strong or anything.” “Bravery isn’t about not having fear, it’s about living through it.”
Cottoncandy gave a sad smile as he wrapped his wings around her. And they started crying again.
“I don’t belong anywhere,” CS sobbed.
“And how in the hay is that you fault?” Whirlwind asked. “Because I want to belong. I want to find peace and happiness and love but I can’t. Nothing works for me.” Whirlwind stroked Cotton’s soft mane. “Sometimes, finding happiness is hard. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.” “But I’m searching as hard as I can but I still can’t find it.” CS hated this life. It was dark and gray and horrible. He had tried so hard to find the good sides but couldn’t. He had lost his family, his friends, everyone. “I… I hope you do eventually find it. I think you will.” Whirlwind didn’t know what to say. She wanted so desperately to make everything better but she couldn’t. She wanted to say the perfect words, do the perfect thing that would just make the sweet peice of heaven in front of her feel better. But she couldn’t. “I wish… I wish I could just go somewhere better. Somewhere where everyone loves each other regardless of what he or she looks like or is interested in. A world without labels, a world with friendship.” “That sounds like old Equestria,” Whirlwind commented. “I wish I could go back in time and live there,” CS cried. “Baby, I wish that too. I wish that with all my heart. But we have to do the best with what we’ve been given darling. I wish it was not so, but it is.” Whirlwind was also crying now. She oh so wished her colt could be in the time and place he wanted to be in. To find the things he was looking for. “Whirlwind, I need somepony.” “I’ll try to be that somepony.” “You’ll try, but can you help me? My life is different from yours and I have to get through it alone.” “I’ll try to alleviate that loneliness as much as I can my sweet angel. I don’t know what the future will bring but I do know that I intend to never let you go.” “No one’s ever accepted me and the people who have are all now so far away. Even you.” “But the people who love you still love you.” “I’ll grow old and die alone, I know it.” “You know nothing for certain. Life is full of ups and downs. It gets better and it gets worse and it gets better again. And your life will get better again. “ “How do you know that?” “If we don’t have hope we have nothing.” “But it’s too hard,” CS sobbed. “Then find the hero that’s inside all of us, baby.” “I’m no hero.” “You’re my hero and you can be your own hero too.” “What if you can’t?” “I believe that you can, Cottoncandy Soldier. And you need to believe in yourself too.” “You sound so cheesy,” CS faintly smiled through the tears. “That’s how I think, you fluffy cyborg bunny.” Whirlwind also faintly smiled, not knowing whether her Cottoncandy was feeling a little better or not.
And they embraced, talked, and cried with the rain pouring through the broken window.
--
The two of them eventually decided that they had to cover up the window. CS had a tarp in his storage room which they put over it. Then they dried themselves off and started cleaning up. Whirlwind held up a piece of glass to the ceiling light, and watched as a rainbow emerged onto the floor.
“Look, CS, isn’t it beautiful?” “Yeah,” he replied, still somewhat sad. “It could be said that life is like that. A thing of pain could bring a thing of beauty.” Whirlwind had always contemplated things like that. “Yeah, maybe.” “And sometimes, something that looks like a broken piece of junk could be hiding a rainbow.”
--
Soon enough, the kitchen was cleared up and the two were in CF’s living room.
“That thing your boss did? It was pure evil,” Whirlwind stated coldly. “Yeah, you’ve gotta work hard but who the hell chews the fuck out of a child during his first month? You were doing your best and screaming and threatening never ever helps anyone learn.” If this is the way adults behave, then this world is truely fucked.” “But this is what I have to deal with every day, Whirlwind,” Cotton replied, tears reforming in his eyes. “He deserves a really bad beating. That’s cruel, unusual, unfair, and downright dictatorial!”Whirlwind was fucking mad at this slave-driver who made her friend feel worthless. She was fucking mad. “It’s not like we can do anything about that,” Cotton replied hopelessly. “But that doesn’t change the fact that they are the problem, not you. You tried your best and he was being unreasonable.” “The world is filled with people like that, and you just have to bear through it.” CS rested his head on Whirlwind's chest. “But never forget your worth. You’re not a worthless waste of space, they’re unfair roadblocks to freedom. Don’t you ever forget that.” “But everyone’s like that, always looking out for themselves and no-one else, always caring about nothing except getting ahead in life, never being fair.” “That’s the problem with this age. If Celestia, Luna, Cadence and Twilight were here, this wouldn’t be the case. There would be freedom, love, and camaraderie.” Whirlwind wished she’d lived in the past. “But they’ve been gone for decades, ever since the Tree of harmony died.” “That’s the problem, CS. That’s why society spiralled out of control into this fascist piece of shit.” “Well, it’s not as bad as you say it is,” CS said. “It’s bad enough for good people to be forced to surrender. Never forget your worth, though. No matter what anyone says or does.”
CS began to tear up again, and Whirlwind thought that now would be a good time to change the topic.
“I’ve always wanted you to teach me how to play Equestria Calling,” Whirlwind said as she took his hand. “I’m probably a fucking noob, though.” “Well, by the time I’m done with you you won’t be one anymore,” Cottoncandy said, smiling at her.
Cottoncandy got the game ready and started explaining it to her. It was pretty much a war game, and you were a foot soldier, that much Whirlwind already knew, but she had no idea of anything else. Cottoncandy guided her through it, but guess what? She was still a fucking noob!
“I knew you’d be bad, but I never thought you’d be this bad!” CS laughed. “Hey cut me some slack, this is literally my first time!” Whirlwind laughed back. CS was feeling a lot better now. He was not even close to fixed, and the bittersweet misery was still in him. But Friendship. That was a life changing force.
Whirlwind loved dancing and twirling to the beat, and loved being with Cottoncandy. He felt like, well, cotton candy. Soft and sweet, melting on your tongue, fluffy, filled with sugary goodness that could make you smile and feel warm inside.
He was shaking and twirling to the notes that drifted in the air. Sometimes he’d join hooves with her and they’d spin and twirl together. He seemed much better, but honestly, how much better can a person be when not even twelve hours had passed. Well, at least it was helping. It brought her so much joy to see this sweet colt dancing around happily.
“Maybe you should sleep at your parents’ house today. I’d never be aloud to sleep at a boy’s house and you can’t sleep alone tonight.” Whirlwind had noticed that it was getting pretty late. "I'm twenty. I'd be a pussy if I went running back to them every time I cried," Soldier said. "This is where our thoughts differ. You may be twenty but you're still their son. You were their son before you were born and you will be their son when you're thirty, forty, fifty or a hundred, you'll still be their son. Going to them for protection or help isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of love," Whirlwind wished Candy could just let people help him. "But I shouldn't need protection at this point." "Everyone needs protection. And your parents are the best people who can give it to you. Just listen to me this once." “Okay," Cs said, giving in, "My parents’ house is an hour’s drive away,” CS said, “We’d have to drive a long time.” “Well, I love driving with you. Let’s go there and then by then it would be pretty late so I guess I’ll just have to sleep over.” “Are you sure your parents would allow that?” “It’s Sunday tomorrow so probably, though I’ll have to check with my mom.” “Then call her.”
And a short phone call later they were on their way.
The night was so beautiful, as nights tend to be. The air that rushed in through the windows was sweet and cool and the music that played on the radio, though all meaningless party songs, were melodious and relaxing. The two of them talked and talked and talked. They talked about video games and TV shows and books and movies. They talked about politics and the economy and the environment. They made up fantasy stories where they were transported into other, better worlds where the could live their lives in peace.
--
CS’s parents were quite surprised to see their son and Whirlwind show up at their door.
“Hi, we’re gonna be sleeping here tonight. There have been some … problems,” CS said. “Um, sure son,” the golden-coated pegasus mare who was a totally awesome mom replied, slightly confused.
----------------------------------------CS’s POV---------------------------------------------------- Everything felt so comfortable and familiar. This was his home. This was the place that society required him to leave, but this was his home. He was in his parents’ bedroom, resting his head on his mother’s chest, and holding his father’s hoof.
A long, awkward, heartfelt and emotional talk had been shared by the three of them and now, at 3 in the night, Cottoncandy Soldier was finally feeling content. Tired, but content. He drifted to sleep surrounded by familiar sights, scents and people. society considered this to be leaching, but it felt like love. The darkness now felt calming and peaceful instead of cold and depressing. The rain pounded a sweet lullaby and the pillows were soft.
--------------------------Whirlwind’s POV-------------------------------------------------------- Whirlwind had been contentedly sleeping for a long time. She was in Cottoncandy’s old room, and his bed smelled like him. It was so soothing. She’d called her mom shortly before going to bed, alerting her or her whereabouts, and was relieved that she didn’t seem too concerned that she was sleeping in the same house as an older colt.
The filly had been having lots of strange, incoherent dreams that all tied back to one thing: Cottoncandy Soldier. Her dreams eventually led her to the middle of a deep, dark forest, which for some reason didn’t scare her. Within it she felt a magical kind of security that felt strange and familiar, old and new, warm and cool. A glowing light came down from the sky, white, steady, and powerful. The light bended and shifted until it materialized as a towering, motherly white alicorn with a multi colored mane. She had seen this face in the many history books she had avidly read, and knew that it was none other than Equestria’s former leader and savior, Princess Celestia. This didn’t feel like a dream. It felt real.
Whirlwind.. she didn’t know what to do. Should she bow or kneel or just say hi or what?! She… she had not expected this. Like, who would even expect this anyway? Fear, confusion and sheer surprize made her freeze in place. Celestia smiled a warm, radiant smile upon seeing this. “You don’t have to be uncomfortable around me, child, for I am one of you.” One of us? Whirlwind thought, You’re a fucking goddess. “Child, what I’ve seen here with you and Cottoncandy Fire, that was a true friendship deeper than I’ve ever seen.”
Yeah, Whirlwind got it. She and CS were close. But right now she had so many questions. So many things that all her books and documentaries couldn’t answer for her. What had happened to Equestria to cause true friendship to die out? What had caused all the princesses to vanish? Why had the Everfree forest grown so out of control? Where were the fabled Elements of Harmony? Did they even exist? Could Equestria ever be restored to it’s former glory?
Princess Celestia smiled, almost as if she was reading her thoughts. “Your questions will be answered when the time comes. For now, I will be talking about the rain.
The rain? It was definitely weird weather. It had been raining for two weeks non-stop almost and I had always wondered why that was, but it can’t be important enough for you to come back from the grave.
“But it is dear. Remember how Equestria was founded? How ponies were full of hate s the windigos came? How there was a terrible blizzard? Well, the world is becoming more and more hateful, and the windigos are coming back.”
Oh know, Whirlwind's heart skipped a beat, this is absolutely horrible. But how can they be stopped?
“It will take centuries for a blizzard like the first one to form, but the sooner we act, the better. I am giving you this,” Celestia hooved her stone carved into the shape of a butterfly, “Keep it safe. When the time comes, you will find others like it. Cottoncandy Soldier will too. And then you two will save Equestria.
I don’t understand
“You will when the time comes. Now it’s time to awaken.
------------------------------------------------CS’s POV-------------------------------------------------------- CS awoke late in the day, feeling relaxed. He had had a very strange dream last night but that was nothing compared to his waking hours yesterday. He looked at his hoof. Yes, he was holding a small stone carved into the shape of
What the hell do I want? Whirlwind thought as she stared at the computer screen in front of her. I feel too… weird… to do anything. There was a dark, strange, swirling mixture of emotions within her, just waiting to temporarily disable her the second she paid them any attention. Confusion, worry, fear, frustration, hate, love, depression, self-hate, hopelessness and angst were all winning the battle against the part of her that just wanted to be happy. And what made everything a hundred times worse was the fact that nothing had really happened to set these off. She had a good life. Maybe she just had too much empathy.
It was always like this with her. She started worrying over some “unimportant” things and the fear and angst just increased and increased until she’d start looking for distractions, such as browsing meaningless. And then those distractions would distractions would distract her so much that she wouldn’t be able to get any work done and then she would just get depressed. Not real depression, just temporary, inconvenience depression that would wear off by the following morning.
But the real problem was that she always found herself so saddened and disabled by things she shouldn’t be saddened by. And when she was emotionally insecure, she couldn’t be bloody productive in any way. She just hated her goddam lack of self-control and her overly-emotionalness. If she couldn’t handle the shit she was dealing with now, how would she handle adulthood in all it’s horribleness? She was much better off than most people. But she still felt all these things. Why? Was something wrong with her?
The thing that had happened that day was the fact that the truth of how terrible the economy was for the youth of Equestria had dawned on her. She had been doing a project in school which had made her research some of the problems in Equestria. She had stumbled upon an article about the widening income gap between older and younger Equestrians. Then she had found a bunch of articles and reports about the higher-than-ever and still growing unemployment amongst the youth, the crippling, freedom-crushing student debts that most of them owed, and the fact that many eligible and skilled ponies between the ages of eighteen and thirty were stuck at dead-end, vastly underpaying jobs at drive throughs and stuff, had just pissed her off. Pissed her off to the point where she was breathing hard and clenching her fists as she stormed down the harsh white hallway of her school.
The horror stories of interns and other people on the lower end of the corporate scale, and the dissenters and people who had spoken out of turn scared her. In a world where freedom of speech didn’t really exist and people had to say whatever they said anonymously and in fear. That had just filled her with fear. Fear and frustration and anger.
At first she had been mad. She had been mad enough to want to punch something over and over again until either her fists broke of the thing she was punching broke. But then she did more research and found out how hopeless everything was. Like everything these days was, economics was impossible complicated. And, like everything else these days, it was just getting worse and worse as time went by.
She got home and did some more research. Article after article stared at her from the bright screen of the computer, bringing the news of Equestria’s steady destriction.
Fight somehow, sure, she could do that, if she wanted to end up with nothing left to lose. Even though they tried to hide it, those corporations had the final say in everything from government to art. They had ways of making sure anyone who said as much as a word of dissent towards them ended up wishing they were never born. That had made her feel worried. Worried about her future and the future of all the other children and youth of Equestria. Sure, some people got out of the horror and then proceeded to create it, but those were few and far between. Good people rarely ever got power. And that made her feel worried, angsty, and so incredibly frustrated. It was an indescribable kind of frustration. She just wanted to scream and make anything just fix everything, but she knew that would never happen. Wished she could just bend the laws of logic and make everything fix itself. Maybe hijack a rocket and fly every oppressed and hopeless pony to the moon where they could start their own society. But she knew that that was crazy, immature dreamer talk. Like it or not, she was stuck being a corporate slave, making sure rich ponies got richer. Just another gladiator dying and killing while the crowd cheered.
She got up and paced. She knew how lucky she was, just by the fact that she could just sit all day, but how long would that luck last? Three years and she would have to leave the safety and protection her parents provided and go out into the world.
And all that information, which she had always known but never focused on, was now coming at her in such a way that she felt that it would crush her if she thought about it anymore. So she browsed pointless shit like she always did when her overly-emotional, melodramatic crazy mind began losing control. And that numbed her mind. her mind didn’t want to be numbed and slid to a state of depression, where she could neither think nor not think.
She hated herself for being so melodramatic. If she couldn’t stand thinking of what was to come, how could she stand living it? I mean, she didn’t even have it as bad as all the ponies that had been pulverized by war, or the lonely souls of the world. Not even the lucky ones were lucky.
She wished so much that everypony was in the past, where the princesses ruled and camaraderie ruled and even the unlucky were lucky. She wished she could be beside CS, but the both of them were busy with their lives. Poor baby Cottoncandy was facing the plight of the youth full on. That made her sad.
The rain banged against the glass of the large, harshly-lit room. The cold and hard metal shelves were filled with phones, tablets and computers in their perfectly square or rectangle boxes, and ponies were busily pacing to and fro like ants.
It was another hectic, miserable, life-draining day at the tech shop. Filled with customers that either ignored him or were unreasonable, co-workers who excluded and hated him, and bosses who tore him up inside no matter how hard he tried. The work load was large, most of the jobs meticulous and the pressure high, but the most difficult task was keeping what few strands of his spirit together. He was losing confidence, hope and the resolve to fight fast.
He walked around, trying to find any customers that might need him. Nobody did. They were all turning away from him, somewhat purposefully, and going to the other workers. Cottoncandy sighed inwardly. This was always what happened. Was he trying to do anything wrong? Oh hell no, he was trying to do everything right. Was he doing everything wrong? It sure seemed like it. He just didn’t understand. But all around him were ponies needing help, seeing him, and walking to any other employee around. Cottoncandy tried his best to keep a forced polite smile onto his tired, sad face. after what was maybe an hour, a customer finally approached him. She was a mare with a dark blue coat and a determined face.
“Hi,” he said almost robotically, “How may I help you miss.” He honestly hoped she could do a good job serving this mare and that that she’d walk away happy and satisfied. “I would like to buy an ePhone Six, please,” she said. “Okay, would you like to see it first?” CS asked politely. “Yes, definitely.” He took a box off the shelves and opened it, taking the slim rectangular piece of technological genius outside and showing it to her. “So how do you like it, m’am?” he asked. “I like it a lot, I think I’ll buy it,” she stated unemotionally. “Okay, so here you go,” he said, putting the phone back in the box and handing it to her, “That’ll be seven hundred fifty bits. “Of course I don’t want this one, I want an original one!” The lady said harshly. She was getting mad, this was not good. CS would have to smooth this over or else. “What’s wrong, m’am?” He asked, trying his best not to show any falter in his polite tone. “This one has been used, I want an original one,” she stated, getting more irritated. “M’am, this is an original one, I just took it out of the box,” Cotton said. “No, I want one that hasn’t been opened yet.” This was gonna be hard. If she didn’t buy this phone, it would be so hard to sell it again because phones that have been touched were much more difficult to sell. “M’am, no-one’s used it yet. I just opened it to show you what it looks like. Besides me, no living soul has touched it.” Cotton was growing scared now. “Of course it was! Do you think I’m stupid or something? I swear, I will talk to the manager here unless you get me a new one!” Cotton wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. This lady was so colossally stupid, but he had colossally fucked up as well. But of course he hid it. “I don’t think you’re stupid, m’am, but trust me when I say there is nothing wrong with this phone. “ “Listen, colt, you’re pissing me off. Get me what I want or I’ll call the manager.” “Okay m’am.” He went to get another box.
As the lady went out of the store, looking pretty dissatisfied. A noxious cocktail of emotions started bubbling up inside Cotton. Mostly self-hate and regret. He couldn’t do anything right.
Of course he couldn’t. That was his lot in life. He was destined to be a lonely outcast. Destined to be a failure. There was no hope for him anymore. Though the world was supposed to be about “free choice,” people were definitely not free to choose. He wasn’t free to choose. And even when he was, he made all the wrong choices. There was no hope for him anymore. Of course there wasn’t. He’d known that for quite a while now. He was born as prey and he would die as prey.
---
Cotton hoped that was the last of what he would hear about the incident, as he sat on the bare grey dest trying to recover a laptop. It was very meticulous work, as forgetting anything would put him and the customer in a lot of trouble. The difficulty wasn’t really the problem, the problem was that he was most likely going too slow or would somehow mess up. His shoulders tense, his eyes glued to the numbers on the screen and his fingers moving fast, he was engrossed in work at the moment.
“Hey, boy?” A strong, masculine voice suddenly intruded into his thoughts. His head twisted his head to the size as a surge of panic that was only about 60% He was a dark brown earth pony with a light yellow mane, in his late forties or something. The guy had seemed pretty nice at first, but as the days went on, Cottoncandy could tell he didn’t like him. He wasn’t sure why. Cotton tried his best and worked his hardest. Maybe there was something wrong with him. A rock formed in his chest, made of of only what he could describe as fear. he had a good idea of what was coming next.
“How far are you?” the stallion asked coldly, though it wasn’t hard to find the edge of dislike in his voice. “About a third done, I think I’ll need another hour,” CS said, gulping. The rock in his chest was getting bigger and heavier. “This one or the whole load?” “This one.” Cotton tried to appear calm as he braced himself for what was coming next. “You damn lazy boy, why do you always have to be so slow? You can never keep up! You always cause me pain! Why are you such an idiot?” “Sir, I’, trying my best. I don’t know what you want from me but I’m trying to give it to you.” That was definitely the wrong thing to say. Cotton didn’t know what went on in most ponies’ minds, but he knew it wasn’t empathy. “WHAT?!! IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I WANT THEN I SUGGEST YOU LEAVE RIGHT NOW AND DON’T COME BACK?!!!” “S-sorry,” Cotton stuttered, “I wasn’t thinking, I understand that what I said, no, what I thought was wrong. I’ll never do it again.” “No you don’t understand. You never understand anything. If this isn’t done in half an hour you’ll be sorry.”
Cotton sighed, tears welling up in his face. He wished he could leave, go somewhere else where he could learn and work without feeling like a piece of shit. But the way the economy was right now, he was lucky he had a job at all. But it’s not like he deserved one.
Self hate, misery, hopelessness, angst, hate for life, depression, confusion, fear, these were all emotions that rushed through him like a flooding river, banging on the dam of his life, wanting to break through like they did before. But he wouldn’t let them break through. Even if he didn’t have much to live for, he did have something.
I have no more hope. That’s what Cottoncandy’s text had read. She needed to get over there. He needed her. Having finished most of her homework right after school, there was nothing holding her back from waiting at the door to Cottoncandy’s building when he got home.
The rain was still pounding at every solid surface, although a bit more lightly than it did before, so Whirlwind was sporting a pink umbrella that didn’t really help anything. But that was okay, a few drops of rain wouldn’t kill her. It was a necessary sacrifice. She had to see Cottoncandy Soldier.
Cottoncandy Soldier, gosh, she loved that name. She loved speaking it, writing it, thinking it, just rolling it around her tongue and brain. It was sweet and soft, yet perseverance and strong, just like the pony himself. The pony that she was going to see. How she wished she could give him the happiness he deserved. She did everything she could, but everything she could wasn’t enough. It made her feel hopeless. The pony that made her smile so hard that her cheeks started hurting didn’t deserve to cry so hard that his cheeks burned. She only hoped she could bring hope back to CS’s life.
The cracked sidewalks and overgrown grass that signified the part of town all the sad, struggling youth and outsiders lived in was all around her and it made her more contemplative. Her best friend was getting screwed over by this antipathetic society and so. So were her mom and dad, who worked themselves to the bone each day, a fact which broke her heart. So were so, so many other people. Even the people with big houses and billions of dollars and the world at their feet were empty inside to some degree. Why? Once Equestria had been a place where everyone lived their dreams and were all happy, rich and poor alike. What had happened to that world?
As she approached Cottoncandy Soldier’s building, a bright wide smile appeared on her face. She would now get to be with him. She stood outside the door, the rain not bothering her.
What’s the point in anything? Cottoncandy though as he got out of his car. It was old and slow, but good enough to serve his needs. I’m gonna die alone, anyways.
He slowly trudged through the rain, his waterproof saddle bag keeping his valuables safe. And there the building his flat was on. And there was … WHIRLWIND?! He ran to meet her, the two of them entangling each other in a passionate hug.
“Baby!” She exclaimed. “Why are you here?” He asked excitedly. “Because ich liebe dich.” “Gosh you’re cute.” “Let’s get dry.”
The two headed up the stairs to Cottoncandy’s flat, their fears not being killed but still shoved in a corner and ignored.
“Tough day at work?” Whirlwind asked. “They’re all tough days at work. I can’t do anything right.” Cottoncandy said glumly. “That’s not true, baby, have some patience. You’re one of the best ponies I’ve met and things will get better.” “No they won’t.” “Candy, just believe me.” “Why should I?” “Because it will help. Now let’s just dry off. And then I’ve got a fun idea.” “Is it that?” CS asked, a mischievous smile on his lips. “Oh heck no!” Whirlwind laughed. “ I meant that maybe we could fly up above the cloud layer where there’s sunshine and blue skies and freedom.” “That also sounds fun,” CS said laughing.
Soon enough, they were flying at the clouds at full force, and then slamming into them, which caused the soggy fluff to clear and a torrent of water to be released on them. Then they broke through to see a never ending blue sky shining as bright as a jewel, and a glorious golden sun warming their cold skin. Up higher above them were some fluffy white clouds, and all arund them was the open air.
“Gosh, I’ve forgotten how good sunshine is!” Whirlwind exclaimed. “It’s been raining for like a month and a half, isn’t that weird?” CS asked in a jovial manner. “Totally! I mean, I can’t even figure out why this shit’s happening. It’s definitely not normal.” “Totally. Race you to that cloud over there!”
The two dashed off, Whirlwind falling slightly behind. The flight was exhausting, but boy was it exhilarating. This is why Soldier loved being a pegasus. The freedom of flight, the speed, the motions, the feeling of the wind rushing through you feathers as you defy gravity, that was truly sensational. Re rushed and swooped and dived, his slightly under-exercised wings burning but his heart happy. As he reached the white cloud that was their finishing line, he dove down and landed on his back, the cloud springing inwards like a trampoline while soaking up the thin layer of water over his body before returning to it’s original shape. A bit later, Whirlwind joined him, her kind-of petite body totally exhausted. “I hate flying and running,” she said, panting, “but I loved this flight. Sure, it hurts, but it’s pure freedom. I only wish the real world could be like this. But we’re in our sanctuary now so it doesn’t matter.” “Reality sucks.” “Yeah. But we’re in heaven right now.” "But there are so many assholes down there. I wish I could just escape from them." "But you can't, where would you go? Resisting would only get you fucked over. I guess, the only thing we can do now it deal with it." "I hate dealing with it." "So do I, but we have to" “Rested up yet?” “Heck no, are you?” “No.”
And the two of them lay there, talking and talking and talking. Soon enough they were ready to fly again, though this time not as fast though plenty speedy. They swooped and dipped and looped through the neverending blue. Talking, about everything and nothing. Singing sometimes. Telling jokes, laughing, dancing on clouds, crying sometimes, dreaming.
“You know what I thought yesterday? That with the state of the world right now, maybe it would just be great if all the good ponies hijacked a rocket and restarted society on Aeres,” Whirlwind said. “If only we could,” Cottoncandy replied, “I often have dreams where I get transported into Od Equestria, where I can live the life I want to and am accepted.” Soldier felt the creep of misery coming back to him. “Speaking of old Equestria, I had a weird dream the night we slept at your parents.’ Princess Celestia was telling me that we had to save the world from the windigos or something. Then she gave me a pretty rock.” “I had the exact same dream!” CS replied excitedly, “And I got the stone in real life, too. It was just in my hands when I woke up.” “What? That means that I must’ve gotten a rock in real life, too . I must have left it on the bed or something. Where did you put yours?” “At my parents’ house. We’ll need to go find yours as soon as possible.” “Do you think we’ll save Equestria?” Whirlwind asked excitedly. “We might.” And for the first time in a long time, Cottoncandy Soldier was hopeful.
They watched the sunset from on top of those clouds, and when it was time to go, CS drove Whirlwind to her house. \he always loved helping that filly out.
“You hold you head up high, Soldier, no matter how hard it is.” That’s what Whirlwind had said to him as they parted. But gosh, it was easier said than done, and they both knew that.
“Mom, hi, we need to find a thing,” Cottoncandy said as his mom opened the door. Whirlwind was at his side, smiling brightly. “What thing?” Sundrop asked. “An important, secret thing,” Whirlwind said conspiratorially. “Um, okay,” Sundrop said, slightly confused. I’m not sure whether to find this funny of awkward, Whirly, Cottoncandy though.
--- Soon enough, the two were in Cottoncandy's old room, searching through the covers and under the bed. Finally, they found the stone carving, tucked in between the mattress and the wall.
“Wo what should we do with this? Whirlwind asked. “I don’t know. Just keep it. That’s what I did with mine. Princess Celestia said that the truth would be revealed to us if we wait, so I guess that’s what we do.” “Yeah, I guess you’re right, Candy,” Whirlwind said, smiling sweetly. Cottoncandy loved Whirly’s smile, it was sweet and full of what CS could only describe as pure sunshine.
-------------------------------Whirlwind’s POV------------------------------------------ Gosh, Cottoncandy, I haven’t seen you in so long, Whirlwind thought as she glanced at her phone. No messages. A charade that had been going on for almost a week. She hadn’t received texts, calls or any acknowledgement whatsoever. She wondered what had happened. He said he was busy, and she respected that. She didn’t want to pressure him into doing anything he didn’t want to do. But at the same time she wished she just knew what was going on. Did he not like her anymore? That’s unlikely. She hoped he was just dealing with the hustle and bustle that came with being an adult and not because of her.
I mean, I know we were arguing a bit and then thigns go awkward, but we’ve always smoothed those types of things over in the past. Was it something I said? Because I was confused. About me, about him, about us, about life, and have totally said things I want to take back. But Cottoncandy’s a sweet colt. He understands all that stuff and always respects my opinions. Bloody hell. We all have our disagreements.
Whirlwind stared at the piece of paper on her desk. She was in class and it was a work period, but since she’d have plenty of time to do the work at home, she didn’t put it as a priority at the moment.
Or is he okay? Is e facing some kind of disaster he doesn’t want to tell me about? Does he miss me? Or is he just busy? He’s done this once before, near the beginning of the year, and he was just busy. So I guess that’s good. If he’s busy that means he’s getting work done and thinking on immediate stuff and not about how lonely he is. That sweetheart. I feel so helpless sometimes. I help the guy as much as I can but obviously that’s not enough.
Whrilwind decided that maybe she should do her schoolwork now, so she could maybe visit Cottoncandy this afternoon. The Russian revolution gave her much less scary than the mystery surrounding Cottoncandy was. Taking a few deep breaths, she tucked the thought of her sweet colt into a corner of her mind (for that thought was never out of her mind) she started filling out the paper.
-- As the lunch bell rang, she checked her phone again. No messages. Okay. She wouldn’t pressure him.
“Watch the fuck out, bitch,” an orange-coated unicorn about her age shouted as he shoved her to the side. That was Tiger Claw, a colt about her age who just seemed to love to fuck with her at every time they ever came into contact. She remembered how on the first day of school she’d seen him sitting all by himself and had tried to make friends with him. Well, that didn’t end well. Tiger also had his gang, two other ponies, Imperial Ice and False Gold, who just had so much fun insulting her and seeing her suffer. It had hurt her for a long time, though she had never dared let it show. But now, SHE DIDN’T GIVE A SINGLE FUCK!! They were twats, and why should she care about twats when she could be caring about people that actually mattered, like Cottoncandy?
Whirlwind walked down the wide hall, which was lined by blue lockers, her hooves feeling cold on the light gray-green floor. She walked down that halls by herself but not really feeling alone. Ever since she had met Cottoncandy, she had never, ever felt alone. She passed by a group of fillies, with perfect hair and beautiful clothes, laughing. She remembered how she had tried so hard the year before to fit in with those bitches. She remembered how awkward and freakish she had felt. And remembered how, after meeting Cottoncandy, she never felt the need to be accepted by ponies who would never accept her. Whirlwind sat down on h heat register beside a pair of doors, a relatively unpopulated place, and checked her phone again. Shit. He still hasn’t replied. Okay, that’s okay. He can do whatever he wants. She started eating her lunch. The only honest thing she wished she could do was help him.
-------------------------------CS’s POV----------------------------------- The rain was still pounding on CS’s window as he got his saddle bag ready. He looked over his flat, making sure everything was in order. His eyes lingered on his collection of games, mostly Equestria Calling.
One of the few joys in CS’s life was playing Equestria Calling. He wasn’t sure what that game did to him but it was fucking awesome. It had such an awesome story, such well-built characters, such awesome graphics, awesome everything. It heightened all the senses starting from imagination to logic, and made the mind almost… forget, really, the dark realities of his life.
But he didn't have time to play right now, as he had to go to work. Work. It was a thing he thought he’d love when he was eighteen. It was a thing he try his best at. And it was also a thing that made him feel like a failure. But he guessed he just had to deal with it. Like most of everything else. Tears welled up in his eyes as he walked out the door, and he blinked them back so nopony would see.
Cotton walked down the parking lot to his car, the rain soaking him as it had done for the past two months. He now kept a towel in his car in order to dry off and not get absolutely everything wet. Not that it helped all that much.
The rain banged on his windshield all through the ride, never ceasing. Cotton walked through the doors of the Tech Shop and prepared himself for another soul-sucking day. The overly-bright, fake lights glared at him, seeming to want to burn him up.
-- Eventually, a group of three young mares came up to him. One had a dark pink mane and bright white coat, another had a bright gold coat and a purple mane, and the last had a red mane and light pink coat. Oh, cool, CS thought, they want my help. I guess it’s time to be useful.
“Hi, ladies, do you need help with anything?” He asked politely. “Yeah, we’d like help with fixing our phones, could you help us figure out what to do?” “Yeah, you’ll have to register and then I’ll take it to the back. Here, come with me.” Cottoncandy got them registered and left their phones in the pending room, after labelling them, so that they could be recovered. Things seemed to be going good so far. “So is that it?” he asked. “Yes, thank you,” the dark pink one said, pretty unemotionally. Cotton smiled to himself.
When the mares had walked a few feet away, another mare, probably one of their friends, came to join them, which CS noticed out of the corner of his mind. But it was the words that came after that really made their mark. “OMG why did you guys ask for help from that dude? He’s like, fuckin’ ugly.” The new mare thought CS couldn’t hear, which make it all the worse. “Yeah, he totally is,” one of the girls said in agreement.
CS’s eyes welled up with tears he was barely able to blink back. Breathing was hard. It was as if a huge boulder was dropped onto his chest from the top of a skyscraper. everywhere he went, everything he did, always resulted in the same thing: exclusion, judgement and hate. Hating him seemed to come naturally to people and he thought that could only mean that something was wrong with him. He couldn’t figure out what it was but he hated it. It sucked all the hope from him.
Soldier tried very hard to forget the incident, to focus on his work, but he couldn’t. It didn’t even really stop after he got home. Soldier remembered someone, probably one of his teachers, telling him once that you shouldn’t let one bad incident ruin your whole day. But it was impossible to do so. CS’s life was filled with bad incidents and hopelessness. It couldn’t just be a pattern.
Or so he thought. What the pony mind often forgets is that tomorrow always comes and there are good ponies as well as bad ponies and that hope exists. Sometimes things may seem bleak and horrible, but there’s always an escape route, always a way to find yourself.
The rain pounded on his windows and he thought it very appropriate for the situation. He texted the only pony he felt comfortable to about talking about his problems.
-------------------------------------Whirlwind’s POV-------------------------------------- The weather didn’t get better. It’s been this way for months. There’s nothing any of us can do about it. Life’s like that. Fucked. And no one can do anything about it. There were beautiful words in the vocabulary that people claim to love, such as “freedom” and “equality,” but none of those words got implemented in real life. At least, not in present-day Equestria.
But what she hated most about the weather was that she couldn’t go outside. Well, that was about to change. She and CS, they’d gotten tired of waiting to do something fun together, and Whirlwind said had eventually decided that they had to just go in the rain.
She was waiting outside the door to her house in her raincoat, looking outside the window, waiting for Cottoncandy's car to arrive. Eventually the dented old car, which was the best car in the world to her, pulled up in front of her house, displacing a minimal amount of water even though the road was near-flooded. She smiled and ran outside.
Sliding in the homey vehicle, she smiled at the colt that occupied the driver’s seat. He smiled back.
“This is crazy,” Cottoncandy Soldier laughed. That sweet pony sure knew how to laugh, no matter what life threw at him. That was why he was a soldier. (Figuratively, of course. Whirly was glad he would never be going to real war.) “Yeah, bro, but I’m pretty much very crazy, too.” She laughed back. Their two faces were smiling, happy, the car was a sweet tint of cold and felt like comfort, and the rain pounded in time to their heartbeats. She wished she could make this moment last forever.
“So where are we going?” CS asked. “How about the park beside the river?” Whirlwind asked. “The most cold and muddy place possible?” “Well, I always loved parks, and I think it’s ll be an adventure.” “Um… I don’t really know about that,” Cottoncandy said apprehensively. “Oh, okay then, we can go to the mall if you want.” “The mall? That shit’s for like, teenaged girls in the high school movies.” “Yeah, well where do you want to go that’s both dry and interesting?” “I don’t know, like, the movies or something?” “Then it’ll be a date.” “LOL no, like, just as friends. But I kinda want it it be a date, though. I like you and you’re the only one that likes me.” Sweet soldier. “I kind of want it to be a date, too. Actually, there’s a part of me that burningly wants it to be a date, and wants us to get married and live happily ever after. But my mind knows that it won’t work out, happily ever after won’t work out, not in this case.” “My mind knows that too.” The air in the car had mysteriously shifted. Instead of being light and breathable, it had suddenly gotten heavy and cold. “I shouldn’t have said that,” Whirlwind said flatly. “It’s okay, I guess it needed to be said.” Whirlwind looked for a way to change the conversation. “So, are you excited about the fact that the new Equestria Calling comes out in two months?” “Two months, ten days,” CS said, not all that upbeat. “Wow, you’re really hardcore. That’s good, it means you have passion.” “It means that..””Shh.” CS was about to say something but Whilrine cut him off. “I know what you're going to say and I know it’s not true. So get those thoughts out of your head, sweetheart.” “How are you so sure?” “Because I know you, and don’t you dare think that I don’t. Anyway, are we going to a movie or not?” Whirlwind’s voice was as authoritative as she could make it. “I guess we are.” “Then for now, let’s have a good time, mein Engel.” She reached over and put her arm around Cottoncandy’s shoulder, and the two of them drive through the suburbs of Manehatten.
“I know this really good movie called Moonrise Kingdom. But it’s a total chick flick. You wanna watch the Mockingjay? I heard that that’s a glorious thing” “Uh, sure. I think that would be good.”
They drive, talking about everything. Whirlwind loved how Cottoncandy talked. He was frank and humorous, yet also thoughtful and insightful. He wasn’t like other ponies who hid their thoughts and feelings due to a million different fears, he just said what he meant. And he always tried his best to see the humor in everything. Not in like, the attention-craving, joking way most ponies did, but rather in a light, subtle way. He seemed to make everything lighter and more fun. And even though he had been through so much, there was an endearing innocence about him that was rare to find. Exactly how she thought a revolutionary should think. A true revolutionary, who would make the world a better place, not those power-hungry, cruel, “revolutionaries” that they showed on TV. Yeah, Soldier has a lot of anger and rage inside of him, but he would be horrified to hurt anypony and was so kind. And sad. There was sadness and confusion and frustration and hopelessness in that sweet colt. Feeling that had no right to be within one so innocent and kind. Yet the society that Equestria had corrupted into had put them in him. Put them in her, too, but to a smaller extent. If only she could rearrange the world.
They were both they type of people who were more than willing to bring Harmony back. Yet she was doubtful about whether they could. They couldn’t even get their own lives together, let alone Equestria. “CS, I have no idea what the fuck we’re supposed to do with our elements, or how the fuck to do it.” “Neither do I. I think we have to wait until we get all the elements, who knows how long that will take?” “It’ll happen. Princess Celestia is wise.” “How wise can she be if she let this shit happen to Equestria?”
‘She has to have a plan. I mean, she defeated defeated millions of monsters and led Equestria into two thousand fifty years of peace. She’s got to have acquired some skill in that time.” “She won against everything but couldn’t win against her own people.” “Her own people have to win against themselves. That’s what we’re here for. “ “Like we can do anything.” “She wouldn’t have chosen us if she didn’t have faith in us.” “LOL like I can do anything.” “You have more revolutionary potential than anyone else I’ve met.” The two often had disagreements like this. Whirlwind just hoped she was putting some optimism in Cottoncandy.
The rain was pouring so hard that it just slid off of the windshield like a small waterfall, looking like a transparent curtain.It barely hindered visibility, and actually made everything look surreal, as if the inside of the car was a world all on its owns and the world outside didn’t matter.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” Whirlwind sighed. “Yes, it totally is.” “I wish It could be exactly like this forever, that we’d never have to get out of this car.” “Me too.” “But I wanna see the movie as well.” “Yeah. LOL,” CS said, smiling.
--- The journey from the car to the movie theater - which was an oldish building made of stone with a modern inside- was a really adventurous one. The two of them HAD brought umbrellas, but had idiotically put them in the trunk for some reason. After that, Whirlwind, prompted by her love for soaking in the rain (She(I) REALLY loved soaking in the rain) had convinced CS to just make a straight run for it. As they burst through the doors of the theater, soaking wet and smiling like they’d found Atlantis, they drew quite a few curious looks from the more proper, boring crowd. This made Cottoncandy feel uncomfortable, which dismayed Whirlwind.
“Oh, come on, do you really care about what THEY think?” She lightly asked him. “Well… they’ll probably think that we’re weird.” “And weird is way more fun than boring ever was. Come on, we both know it.” “Yeah, I guess that was fun.”
The two of them proceeded to buy their tickets, and go to their seats, drying off before they sat so that they wouldn’t get everything wet.
“You know, I’ve always wanted to see this movie. I’ve just never seen it. I love the book.” Whirlwind said. “Why not?” CS asked. “I guess I’ve never gotten the chance, really.” “Um… Okay?”
The seats around them began to fill up. Fillies and colts and mares and stallions alike began arranging themselves in accordance to who knew who and who was richer than who and all that. Whirlwind noticed how there were so many couples in the crowd. She also noticed how they were beautiful mares and stallions, and probably rich, too. In these days looks somehow always presided over insides. In these days, ponies couldn’t even see peoples’ beauty if it didn’t fit the narrow societal definition of what beauty was supposed to be. She didn’t care about that personally, but she knew that CS (the hottest stallion she ever saw, by the way) was being screwed over by this system. But one day that would all be over. They’d work something out. Even though it was hard and risky and very very obscure, they’d find a way to bring back the old Equestria.
She looked over at Cottoncandy, and saw him gazing off to the right with a sorrowful look in his eyes. She followed his eyes and saw that he was looking at a young couple making out. Why did he always focus on these things? “Hey, Cotton,” she said, “you wanna try that?” “Try what?” He asked, confused. “That thing that the couple was doing!” She smiled mischievously. “You mean?” Cotton had a look of mild horror mixed with mild excitement on his face. “Just to know what it’s like, okay?” “What will we be after that?” “Friends, I guess. But we’ll just fool the other ponies into think that we’re dating.” “Why?” “Because I want to kiss you. I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long but I couldn’t and now I still can’t but I’m going to do it anyways.”
“Well…” Cottoncandy paused, thinking, “ … I’ve always wanted to kiss you, too.” “But we can’t be each other's special someponies, you know that, right?” “Yeah, I know that.” CS said glumly.
“So let’s start then. … I actually have never kissed a colt before, so I might not be very good.” “I’ve never kissed a filly, don’t expect me to be good, either.” “All the better, I love it when things are awkward.”
Their lips met each other, at first a bit awkwardly, but they were both surprised at how easy and natural it was. Whirlwind felt… blissful. She’d heard that kisses were fabulous and fireworks would go off and angels would come down from the sky, but this didn’t feel like that. It felt warm and sweet. She’d felt warm and sweet and blissful before. When she was with CS she felt like that. when she was with her family she felt like that. When she finished a school project that she worked really hard on and did well on, she felt like that. When she had finished a glorious shift of volunteering and was proud of her work, she also felt like that. So she guessed that love was love in all it’s many forms.
---------------------------------------CS’s POV----------------------------------- That honestly didn’t feel as magical as I thought it would be. it felt good, really good, but the same type of good any close friend or family member would feel like. I felt closer to Whirlwind than I’d ever been before, but it didn’t feel different than most of the other times that we were just hanging out. I wonder whether that’s just because we’re not actually a couple or if that’s what kisses are supposed to feel like. I wish I could have a real marefriend. … Or do I? I mean, after what’s gone on today, I don’t see how it could be any better with someone who’s fucking me.
“That …. wasn’t what I was expecting,” Cs said. “But it was still good, right?” whirlwind replied chipperly.
They looked forwards, hand in hand, as the screen flickered to life.
-------
The movie was perfect. Filled with action, which I liked. But at the same time there was a moral issue and good versus evil and also a lot of emotion, which Whirlwind liked. the oppressed standing up against their oppressors. A beautiful story. And we could talk about it a lot. Her second favourite part was my favourite. Which made me happy, we both had similar viewpoints. He thought that Equestrians were too proud to become a tyrant state, but Whirlwind thought that if they continued to be so “survival of the fittestish”
By the time we got out of the theater, it was about six o’clock and we decided that we needed to do something else before the day was over.
“So… you wanna go to a park and get completely wet?” Whirlwind asked brightly. Why would he want to do a thing like that? Gosh that filly was weird.
“Um, no?” He made sure to stress the fact that he was weirded out by this utterly weird weirdness.
“Aw, come on, you’re no fun.”
“What the fuck Whirlwind? Like, I don’t even know what the hell is wrong with you right now.”
Whirlwind gave him a look of disapproval. But he had a point.
“Oh pweese pweese pweese, Candy?” Whirwind asked, making puppydog eyes. Okay those weren’t gonna work.
“I don’t want to,” Cotton said.
“Oh, come on, CS, just trust me.”
“No,”
“Then I’m kidnapping you and hijacking your car.”
“What the fuck?”
“Come on.” Whirlwind grabbed his forearm and dragged him to the car. He started to fight, but decided to just go with it. He was in a good mood and an adventure was long due.
The two of them again ran through the thickly pouring rain and into the old, semi-broken car. The world was lit with a bright gray. If one was at peace it looked soft and sweet to them. If one was hurting and hopeless it seemed depressing and monotonous. To CS today it seemed soft, but with an undertone of sadness.
It was so beautiful, soft and sad, with the rain pouring on the windows. They’d just gotten into the car and were a bit cold. Whirlwind looked over at Cottoncandy. His eyes twinkled and his mouth was turned up slightly. Beautifully. So. Damn. Beautifull. She wished she could lean over and kiss him, straight on the mouth. She leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder.
“Hey, I can’t drive like this. We’ll crash.” “I’m glad you value your life so much right now.” Whirlwind smiled warmly. This was progress. “It’s not my life I’m worried about.” Cottoncandy said. Whirlwind’s eyes teared up. “Cotton… Oh my God that was beautiful.” “I just wish… never mind.” Teardrops again. Whirlwind could sort of see them. Oh no. “Wish what?” She nudged him to elaborate. “Uh, nothing.” Cotton could be such a douchebag sometimes. But Whirlwind assumed it was something she didn’t want to hear.
Gosh darn this was too much sentiment. Let’s just be happy. Let’s just enjoy the ride while it’s going. We’re together. We’re alive. Our families are alive. And we’re all here, together, in friendship, in love. And the rain is still pouring. And we’re ignoring it. And we’re turning it into something beautiful.
“So, have you ever soaked yourself in the rain?” She asked. “Voluntarily, no,” He answered. “Well, then, maybe you should. It’s enriching to the soul.” “I prefer not to think about my soul.” “This will help it, I swear.”
The rain poured on the windows, foreboding and threatening. Whirliwind ignored it because… at this moment she could. At this moment she could be happy.
--------------------------------------CS’s POV--------------------------------------- This was so weird. She was so weird. Yet he was still with her. Why? Because she made him smile? (Do I?) Because he needed the love? Was it a selfish reason or a selfless one? Whatever the reason was, he definitely had one. And now he was being dragged out into the rain. The pouring jets crashed into him like… he laughed slightly at he thought. “I know what you’re thinking,” Whirlwind teased. “I know you know,” he teased back. Two could play at that game. “Well, how do you like it?” “The rain?” “Well, yeah.” “It’s still weird.” “Then dance with me. I’ll make you see the truth.Ever since I was a toddler I loved to soak in the rain. There’s something… magical about it, about it all, that almost nothing else compares to. And it’s not like pony magic, or even the magic of friendship. It’s the magic of nature, of a raging, fantastical, unbreakable, powerful, and wild. And it’s cradling you, like it’s the king and you’re the princess. You feel empowered, you feel like dancing, singing, screaming in joy, flying. It’s like you’re in another dimension. You’re in the physical world, yet in another one as well. It’s beautiful.” “That’s quite philosophical.”
Whirlwind held his shoulders with her wings and spun him around. Cottoncandy smiled. He put his wings on her shoulders and they proceeded to spin and twirl and dip and jump and crash into trees and stuff and fall and laugh. He was clumsy and a bit awkward. She was reckless and a bit whimsical. The rain, it was strangely warm that night. Normally it was cold, and it grew colder by the day. But today it was as if something was shielding them. Warming them in the cold winter Perhaps it was the magic of friendship? Perhaps friendship could light the way to a better future, if kindled with the flames of and love and and thought and generosity and laughter and honesty and kindness and loyalty.
The rain danced on his skin, soaking his fur in what felt like power and love and energy. Every drop sent a new burst of energy through him. He smiled widely, and saw Whirlwind’s smile reflected back at him. They were so different the two. Some could even argue too different. But right then, that day, the power of friendship and love made them flow as one. “Once… upon a time. You came into my world and made the stars align,” Whirlwind began, “Now, I can see the signs. You lift me up when I am down so I can shine.” Cottoncandy sang the next. “And the song that we hear in our hearts, is a CRESCENDO!!” Whirlwind. “And the light that ignites from our love, makes the SONG GO!!!” Candy. She sang a line, then he sang a line, and they went through song after song and song. He couldn’t sing well but that’s not what mattered. “I love music,” Whirlwind smiled.
Cotton felt contented. Is was what dreams were made of
------------------------------------------Whirlwind-------------------------------------- Gosh that was glorious. The bliss, the beauty, the awesomeness that came with that night. She lay sleeping in her bed right now, happy at all the events that had passed. And yet melancholy at it’s passing. She kind of wished she could sleep over at Cottoncandy Soldier’s house, but her parents would never allow that. Well, maybe one day, when she was older.
--------------------------------------CS’s POV------------------------------------------ Well, yesterday was fun. He liked fun. Fun was awesome. Fun was what made life worth living. Yet work was what made life. He was once so eager to work, but hate had stripped that away. So he had to get ready, in the dreary bachelor way. As he was making his bed he saw something under the pillow. Another rock, a harmony rock, this time shaped like three balloons.
Manehattan. Towering squares of gray and brown concrete. Looming spires of cold steel and glass, tinted black and blue like the colours of a harsh, starless night, piercing the heavens and casting shadows upon the insignificant creatures of the earth. The rain was pounding hard, filling the streets ankle deep in water. The muddy brown kind tinted gray like everything else was. Except the towering buildings. Their glass and metal only got shinier and more powerful. Their tops were above the cloudline. Downtown Manehattan. More specifically, the Mordor of Equestria. Sounds fun. But in the grays and blacks and browns, there was a strange shining glow. Light golden.
“Princess Celestia?” “Yes my foal.” Where was that voice coming from? “Worry not where my voice is coming from just listen to it.” “Um… actually I’d like an explanation.” Whirlwind said. “Well my foal I can’t show myself in this dream because it’s pretty much a practice you and Cottoncandy must do alone?” “Cotton?” Suddenly, the light blue stallion with the beautiful milk chocolate coloured mane fazed into existence beside here. “Um… oh hi Whirlwind I’m probably having a weird dream right now.” “More of a stimulation.” Celestia said. “What the fuck? Who said that?” “Well, a certain mysteriously-disappeared Princess who’s been going into our dreams for the past few months is here.” Whirlwind replied semi-sarcastically. “So we’re together?” “Yep. Apparently this is a simulation for a thing we need to do.” “What are we doing?” “From the look of things, fucking shit up in Mordor.” “No we are not going to ‘fuck shit up’ my little ponies, at least not yet.” “Then what is this for?”CS asked. “You have to gather information, about how Equestria decayed. About why. About what will happen next. About the elements that you’re procuring. About what can save our country, return it to it’s former self of peace and love and tolerance and harmony.” “So… we’re like, doing an investigation?” Whirlwind asked. “Well, kind of. But you’re also spies. So you’ll have to develop the necessary skills.” “Ooh that sounds cool. I’ve always wanted spy skills,” CS said enthusiastically. “You might die so I want you both to think about this very deeply. Do you actually want this? Because if you don’t, you don’t have to.” “This is Equestria we’re talking about,” Whirlwind started. “A billion ponies whose lives we could be saving. The entire future depends on this. It’s not time to think about if I die or not. But I can’t let Cottoncandy die.” “It’s okay what do I have to live for anyways. And also, I need to come to make sure you don’t die.” Whirlwind thought about it a bit. “So it’s a deal. I’ll make sure you don’t die and you make sure I don’t die.” “Yeah, that sounds great.” Cottoncandy Soldier was, as well, hesitant. But they both wanted to see Equestria be better, to see Harmony reign throughout the world. “So shall we start?”
The two of them walked through the dirty slurry than some ponies had to live in, and towards the towering mesh of black metal and glass.They were stopped at the entrance of the building, by security guards wearing black vests. “Why are you two here, may I ask?” The one with the purple mane asked. “Well, we… um… have an appointment. With Golden Pistol.” Whirlwind said tentatively. “Why?” “To… um… discuss business.” CS said. “What company?” “We represent … the Enchantress Mane Co?” Whirlwind cringed internally at that name. She knew it was a real company though. You could smell their product five hundred miles away and it was really annoying. “No.” “Why not?” Cotton asked. “You cannot come in.” “Just tell us why.” “No.”
Okay, well, that failed. Oh princess Celestia’s voice rang through the dream. “How about we try that again my little ponies.”
We were back in the beginning of the dream. “Okay,” Whirlwind said, “we have to think of a way to get through to the guards.” “This is kind of like a video game,” CS said smiling. “Yeah, I guess,” Whirlwind smiled, “although when the real thing happens one or both of us could die.” “If it has to be someone it’ll be me,” Cotton said more grimly. “Oh you think I’d allow that? Oh hell no. And we should also change topics.” “Yep. Hmm, what could get us in? Maybe we could dress like employees. Like, the type that can probably go through the whole building without arousing suspicion.” “That’s a great idea. Now we’d never be able to pass as actual businessmen. I mean, no offense but I’m fourteen and you’re twenty and neither of us look a day older. Not to mention the probably keep good tabs on their actual workers. How about… janitors? They’re low-profile enough that ponies unfortunately never notice them, and they can go anywhere without being questioned.” “Sounds good, but we’ll need IDs and uniforms.”
They looked around. There were ponies in huge, sleek cars making their commutes, and dirty-looking ponies on foot trying to avoid the rain, and almost everything in between, though nothing remotely close to the private jets that flew past the cloud layer to find their runways on towering roofs. It was… the perfect synopsis to what Equestria had become these days. But anyways, they had to find a way to get one. “...or…” Whirlwind started, “We could fly up and sneak in through an open window or something.” “Yeah, but I doubt any window would be big enough for that,” CS said skeptically. “Well, we could a t least see how the building’s mapped out. And we could see what we need to go in.” “Yeah, these things are are like, ninety percent glass.’” “We could just break in then.” “Not strong enough. And that would also set off a lot of alarms.” “What if we broke in in the middle of the night when everyone was at home smoking cocaine and fucking hookers. They seriously do that. I read a book about it once.” “There would still be security guards.” “Yeah let’s just look around.”
The building was composed of rows and rows of normal-sized offices for the first hundred levels. once you broke the cloud layer, the offices got incredibly large, and over-the-toply furnished in lavish items. But after about fifty floors of that, there was a huge chunk of the building with no windows, with just cold, dead steel. “They’re hiding something there I just know it.”CS said in a serious tone. “We’ll find the truth. As Starswirl said, truth always wins.” Whirlwind knew they could win. “Well, I guess we got an okay outside map of this place, but we need to get in.” “We need to maybe get ahold of the memories of the ponies who work here.” Princess Celestia’s voice rang through the dream again, “We can have that arranged. If necessary we could guide you through the memories of everyone that works here to better form a plan.
“That sounds long and tedious, but worth it,” Whirlwind said.
“It’s time to wake up, my foals, the new day is starting,” Celestia cut in. “Just one question,” CS added, “Where’s Princess Luna?” “She’s making sure your dreams don’t get hacked. If the ESA knows you have the elements, you’ll disappear in much the same way we did.” Whirlwind shuddered.
Fear Will Never Shut You Down it only Wakes You Up
CS couldn’t believe it as he woke up. There was a sickening feeling at the pit of his stomach, and he had a headache. What the Hell had he gotten himself into? Could he do it? Action never put itself in front of his face with such reality ever before. Holy shit. CS had to rob DT Industries. This was just great, in both the serious and sarcastic way. He wasn’t sure he could do it. Actually, he didn’t think he could. He wasn’t a spy he was an IT guy. But… well maybe this could make Equestria better, more fair, more justiced. So that was incredibly awesome. But… what the fuck? He was not a spy. He had no idea how to spy. Heck, he barely even knew how to think like a spy. He couldn’t stop thinking, couldn’t stop being scared and excited both at the same time. What if he was caught? What if he died? What if Whirlwind died? Oh my gosh he had to see her. ---- Okay they were in Whirlwind's parents’ basement, which was a good place to plan a robbery without anyone hearing them. They were both terrified. It’s weird how in the dream they were much cooler about all of this. Um… psychology was hard to figure out.
“Oh my God, oh my God oh my God,” Whirlwind said stressed, “Can we even fucking do this? What the fuck? What the actual fucking fuck?” Okay she was probably having a panic attack or something.
“You’re a kid, I don’t think you should be doing this,” Cottoncandy said in as calm a fashion as he could.
“No I have to do this. I think. Can I? What the fuck? This is the opportunity I’ve been waiting for this opportunity for most of my life, why the hell is my brain chickening out now?” She started breathing fast.
“I don’t fucking know but I know that I’m not a goddamn spy and neither can I be one.”
“Oh my God I’m freaking out. Why am I freaking out?”
“Because we could fucking die? I don’t know.”
“I… Equestria needs me. I know that.”
“What can I do? I’m not a spy.”
“Well you are on of the bringers of harmony-” Whirlwind was borderline hyperventilating now, so CS hugged her with a wing. Whirlwind wrapped both of her hooves around him and took a few breaths.
“Are you okay?” he asked. “Um… you smell like the forest after a rainstorm. I love it.” She was still shaking, and he was too. He put his other hoof around her and they just spent who knows how long like that. Until they kind of calmed down.
“We have to do this, it’s our duty,” CS said.
“I know. I’m just… I’ve never faced something like this before. I think it’s even illegal. A cop came to our school once and was all like ‘don’t do crime or you’ll go to jail forever.’ So maybe the less-rebellious part of me is saying no.” Whirlwind said between breaths that seemed to not come out right.
“I’m sure it’s illegal.”
“It doesn’t help that our justice system is fucked up.” She smiled a sad smile.
“Lol yeah, I guess. The ones with more money get better lawyers and it’s bullshit.”
“If people were like they used to be none of this would happen. Love, tolerance, harmony, it’s so much better. Less complicated, less materialistic, less exploitative, less disrespectful, less bad for the environment, more helpful to those who need it, more brotherly, more tolerance, more love, less hate.”
“We are the ones who have to bring that back i guess,” CS said.
“Definitely.”
“We have to be brave.”
“We have to plan this out perfectly.” “I guess we should start with some research on DT.”
The two spent the next few hours in front of a computer. “What the fuck,” CS started, “This is ninety percent propaganda and the other ten percent is useless shit.”
“My faith in Equestrian sapient life is fading,” Whirlwind’s emotional state clearly was still slipping.
“I’m getting pissed off.”
“Nopony’s born evil remember that.”
“You too.”
“I do.”
Okay well obviously that search wasn’t going too well. They might have to rely on more dreams to get a plan.
-----------------------------------Whirlwind--------------------------------- She couldn’t fucking focus her thoughts on anything. Her mind kept going off all on it’s own and thinking of every possible situation they could run into and how that would end. She had a mom and a dad and a brother and she needed to keep them safe. Cotton needed to be safe. Equestria needed to be safe. She… half wanted to run away, and half wanted to scream, and half wanted to just fuckig get this over with. Okay thirds. Or not? What if it wasn’t thirds? God why couldn’t she do fractions? Okay well the thing was, she had no idea how to deal with this. Okay the Princesses were with her right? Equestria was with her. But… she wanted her mommy. This was more danger than she’d ever thought she’d be in. But like, if you can’t make sacrifices for your country you might as well not be in it right?
“Okay I need some fresh air,” she worriedly. “Me too.” Cotton had a look of tiredness in his eyes. “I wanna fly as fast as my wings can take me.” “Me too.” She guessed, that’s what they needed. Maybe to break the cloud layer. Feel the wind brush against their fur.
------------------------------------------Both--------------------------------------- The next few weeks neither of them could concentrate. There were so many new dreams, where they had to make plans, map things out, get resources, ask for permission for stuff, and create numerous complicated plans with the help of Princess Celestia. It was dizzying how fast things were going, but for truth it was worth it.
there isn't a song for this. It's not that I'm not trying, it's just aht tehter actually isn't a fucking song for this. Although, I totally half-assed this chapter. Long story.
----------------------------------------Whirlwind------------------------------- Okay, tomorrow was the day. She spent all of today with her family. She… might not be able to see them again. This wasn’t fair. Not at all. Not the fact that they had to do this, since it was the only way, but the fact that DT and ESA would totally be merciless and horrible.
She relished the embrace of her mother, the playfulness of her brother, her dad’s humour, everything. She tried to take it all in, tragically knowing that ti might be the last. She videoed everything in her mind so that she would not forget it. She wished she had more time.
“Are you okay,” her mom asked her, picking up her subtle tragic aura. “Yeah.” She said.
CS wished he had spent more time with his family these last few months. He, he couldn’t tell his parents and brother and grandparents that he was about to rob DT’s headquarters, mostly because they’d never let him. But they knew he needed them. And he tried to take the feel of their fur, the sound of their voice, all of it in as much as possible. there was a sickening, sad feeling inside him, wanting to break out, but he tried to have as much fun as possible before he had to go.
(This chapter is too hard to write. You get the idea.)