Just a day in Equestria

by dave89898989

40 - More than a pretty face

I closed the door of Rarity’s shop behind me. Relishing the day that passed, I put on a smile and headed for home. I didn’t have a care at all, that was the way I liked it. I could look up to the sky, and it would always be blue. As I was practically racing back, not looking where I was going, I clumsily crashed into somepony.

“Hi there, Blue!” A fluffy pink mare shouted as she stood over me.

“Well, isn’t this a position...” I mumbled, realising what I thought about Pinkie Pie.

“What was that?” she quickly asked.

“Oh, n-nothing, nothing.” Pinkie helped me up off of the ground.

“You smell funny. Have you been enjoying Applejack’s special cider a little too much?” She noticed my scent too. I had no idea how much wine I had last night.

“Uh, something like that, yeah. I have to get back home to wash myself, again,” I replied, edging around her to the direction of my place.

“Okey dokey, I’ll let you get on with that then!” She then skipped off, leaving me alone.

“What a strange encounter...” I said out loud. That must have been the second time I’ve spoken my thoughts aloud.

I entered my house and closed the door behind me. I went to the bathroom and turned on the water flow of the bath. Even if I did visit that spa yesterday, I still felt unclean. I must have sweated a lot through the night. There was probably alcohol running through my bloodstream too, but that couldn’t be removed unless I refrained from drinking anymore. I was sure I could do that. Maybe. I turned off the water as it reached the brim of the container, and slipped into the liquid. It wasn’t nearly as relaxing as before, but it was pleasant all the same. I grabbed a sponge and scrubbed up and down my legs, belly, neck and face. I submerged my head in the water, ruining my perfectly styled mane.

For all this time I had ignored my hunger pangs. As the thought crossed my mind, the violent need to eat something hit my stomach. I finished up my bath and got out of the tub. I wrapped individual towels around my waist and my hair, then moved to the kitchen. Already prepared on the surface was a triple decker sandwich with all sorts of ingredients between the bread, like cheese, grass, lettuce, and more.

“Eat up!” Pinkie Pie said as I noticed her standing next to it.

“How the hay did you get in here?” I asked, scared by the fact that she was somehow present here and now.

“I heard you were hungry, so I just had to help you out with that!” she enthusiastically answered.

“Well...thank you...I guess?” I was so confused by the situation.

“No problem. Now are you gonna take it before I do?” Pinkie said in jealousy of my meal.

“Why don’t we share it?” I offered.

She thought about it, and her belly rumbled. “Okay, I’ve got time for lunch.”

I took a cutting knife from a drawer, and sliced the sandwich into two parts, one for me and one for her. After all, it was too much for me to have all by myself. I quickly put the knife in the sink afterwards. I devoured the sandwich in such an uncivilised manner which I wasn’t used to. It embarrassed me, but the crazy-haired pony beside me ate in the same way, so it didn’t seem to matter. That definitely filled the whole in my gut.

“That was some very well made food, thank you Pinkie. I think you have a knack for that,” I complimented her.

“Aww, it’s simple really, I can’t do that much,” she modestly replied.

I shook my head with a smile. “Of course you can, I mean you live in a bakery, you’ve got to pick up some things there.”

She turned her head away with a smile too. I took it that she wasn’t much used to compliments. I took my eyes off of her after looking at her for a while. I didn’t want her to get the wrong impression of me, if Pinkie knew what I thought of her. Was she naive when it came to love? I didn’t want to ask that question. She had never seemed to be interested in that sort of thing, as I noticed from her frantic nature. We were polar opposites too, me being overly serious and all, and her being constantly happy. Maybe I could indulge her with one of my history stories, as my thinking was beginning an awkward silence that I had been known to associate with.

“Do you want to know something, Pinkie?” I asked.

“Sure I do, I always wanna know more things!” She said, not aware of what I was about to tell her.

I took a sharp intake of breath for my speech. “Ever since I started growing up, or maturing as it were, I’ve always wanted to fall in love. I wanted to settle down at the earliest age and be over with the searching around. I probably matured faster than any other girl back at home, on Earth, so that’s why I started thinking serious, adult thoughts quickly. I did find love once, but was betrayed pretty quickly. For you see, he was a god, and the gods on Earth were never on the good side. I was traumatised by the event, because I had no experience at all, no education on relationships. It got worse as I was almost immediately dropped into a warzone, fighting for no relevant causes other than to make more conflict. For most of my life I yearned for love, but I was denied it every time I wanted it, and it was pushed to the back of my mind gradually. But now that there’s nothing to bar against it, I can be as free as I like with the feeling. It’s grown incredibly strong though, so I’ve returned to my original thought patterns again, but it’s literally always on the agenda for me. That short time with Fluttershy helped, if you remember, but it wasn’t enough. It was such a shame it ended on bad terms; it was going so well. Ah well, it’s all over now, and I just have to move on. I don’t know if you understood that at all, but there was a little story about me for you.”

“Yeah, I understood that perfectly,” she commented.

I was surprised. “You, you did?”

“Why wouldn’t I? I have to understand everypony to get to know them. That way I can make better friends with them!” the raspberry-ish earth pony exclaimed delightfully.

“But, what does love have to do with friendship?” I questioned. I thought they were two separate things altogether.

“It’s everything! You’re not that silly, are ya? Love doesn’t have to be that kissy-wissy stuff,” she said as she made a sickly sign of retching, “it can just be the bonds between friends, and how strong they are because of what they do together, and what they like, as friends do. See, when Twilight came to town, we all weren’t friends, but when we were drawn together by the elements of harmony, that’s what made us become closer. We all were friends because that made our power stronger, among other things.”

“I and Destiny were friends because of the peculiar fruit she had. She shared it with me, and then we were bound forever. It didn’t last forever though. Was I blinded by the other love so much, that I forgot about true friendship? Did I forget about my heart and focus on my brain too much? That was what my life had been so frequently. It was all just thinking and information. I had been serious for so long, that I forgot to show real emotions.” It had been a long time since I had shared my philosophical discussions outside of my head.

“I know you wanted a relationship with me, Blue, I could see it in your eyes; I’m not interested in that at all. I only want to be more of a friend to you, but that’s it. It doesn’t all have to be about love anyway. That love, not this love,” Pinkie continued, trying to keep the atmosphere light.

My heart sank. Deeply. I was denied of it. I tried to swallow it down for now. “I’m sorry, Pinkie, I should have known better. It’s just...I’ve waited so long.” I said with the shred of stubbornness that was always with me.

“It’s okay...you’ll get a relationship one day, I promise you that,” my lost love said with a friendly hope that I could only cling onto.

“I...I understand you. I abused the thought that I could have anything. I’m just some filly, not a Princess or anything like that,” I admitted with anguish.

“I’m glad you understand. Not many ponies understand me,” the pink pony sadly told me.

We stood there for a while, taking in the whole conversation. This was the most insightful she’s ever been to my experience. I felt ashamed about my whole thought process on love. I wanted to apologise to Rarity. I wanted to say sorry to Fluttershy. Maybe when Glais loved me, it messed me up. Why did I chose to form a relationship with a male? It was such a rocky state of my life, and I was still in the experimenting stage, I suppose. If there was some piece of courtesy that I could give to his departed soul, is that he taught me to be strong. And at rare times, he was okay to be with. I shook my head and stopped having feelings for the enemy. Even if he did warm, he was a God. I guessed that I did have one last mission; taking out the Gods before I expired. I looked to Pinkie Pie’s direction, and remembered her last sentence.

“What do you mean, not many ponies understand you?” I quizzically asked.

She sighed in lament, saying that “they just say I’m ‘just being Pinkie Pie’”.

“I don’t get it. You are Pinkie Pie, aren’t you?” I confusedly continued my interrogation.

“Yes, but they don’t think about why I act the way I am.” Her head dipped low in humiliation.

I indulged her in asking about who she really was. “Why are you the perpetually happy, bouncy pony that you are?”

“Because I didn’t want to go wrong. Because my parents told me to be that way. They thought I would be better off away from them, but I didn’t agree. I wanted to stay with them, but no. They let me go on my birthday, of all days. I had been the disappointment of the family, not knowing how to do anything on the farm. So I tried being the fun party pony that I was destined to be. But things went wrong, and it hurt more. The pain of not being accepted. I ‘changed’ into a side nopony wants to see. I never wanted it to happen...I never-” She cut herself off by getting ashamedly choked up.

“Whoa!” I cried, going to her and pulling my forelegs around her. “There there, don’t cry...” I consoled her dutifully.

“Why did it have to be this way?!” she wailed uncontrollably.

“Let’s go to your parents, I’ll show them how much of a ‘disappointment’ you are,” I said with a sharp tongue, taking sympathy in her words.

“No, I can never face them again,” Pinkie reasoned with me, struggling to speak over the closing up in her throat.

I still wanted to give the pained filly justice as I had vengeance on the mind. “Okay, who can we show that you need to be more than taken for granted?”

“There’s nopony to show anything to. It’s no use,” had to be the reply I got. Why did she have to have defiance towards telling others that she had feelings too?

“I don’t get it,” I said, playing along this time.

She shut her eyes tightly, in an annoyed expression. “My...other side. I wouldn’t want to show it. Everypony would get scared of me, and my reputation of being a party pony would go away. Repeating the past is something I want to avoid.”

“You and me both, sister,” I agreed with her.

Something started coming together in my mind. Everypony had been affected by dread in their history, just as I had. Collectively, we have all gone through a traumatising event or another during our lives, but in turn, they made us who we are today. I had been through war, loss, all that, to make me stronger, wiser, more serious, as well as a little unstable. Rarity had a difficult time growing up in a strict society, and she overcame that barrier, making her the diverse, tolerable pony that she is. Pinkie Pie got rejected by her parents one day, but she didn’t want to disappoint them anyway, despite her...tendencies, which I’ve experienced personally. But Destiny is the unique one in this. Her family died, but I never told her about it. She grew up none the wiser, and she became the fun-loving, fiery-natured pegasus wishing to rule the skies some time. If I had told her straight away, would she have changed? Would she have moulded into something resembling me? Had she receded into the darkest corners recently, thinking about her forgotten family? Would she take on a new, more docile life? I so wished to see her for one more time, just to apologise for everything.

“Blue, do you remember that time? When I...lost it?” Pinkie asked me; stopping my incessant thoughts in their tracks.

“Yes, I remember. What about it?” I returned the questions, reminiscing how that all went down.

She gave me a sullen look. Her rose-coloured mane looked slightly deflated. “Why weren’t you scared?”

“I’ve had my share of attackers during my time. But honestly, it scared me every time that I was assaulted. Nopony can remove the fear, only mask it, so your opponent can’t see that they have the upper hoof,” I explained honestly.

“We can only mask our true selves to make us feel better,” Pinkie added sentimentally to my statement.

“That doesn’t have to be correct. You should never hide your emotions, because it’ll only cause frustration inside. You have to tell ponies how you feel; they will try to understand and help you out, especially your friends.” This came as a revelation to me too, the ideas unravelling as I spoke. “Confiding in your friends allows you to grow stronger bonds and gives you a better hold on life, knowing that there are ponies out there who will support you.”

She seemed to wince a little, as if retracting certain thoughts. She asked me, “what if they don’t like what they hear? What if they stop being friendly?”

“Your true friends will never stop liking you for whatever you reveal yourself as. They should always be accepting to differences,” I asserted, becoming entrenched in a subtle form of anger and regret, which I couldn’t quite diagnose.

“Would they really want to deal with the fact that I had a troubled past?” The saddened pony seemed to cheering up slightly now, although still she was finding it hard to go with what I was saying.

“I think that almost everypony I know has a rough background, and so they can sympathise with you. Like with me, otherwise we wouldn’t have been talking in this way at all. You’d still be happy, but suffering on the inside. I want you to turn that pain into happiness; a bit like I should. I’m trying my best to forget all ties to the old world and focus on this one, and I am starting to feel better for it. Like Applejack told me, you should forget about the past, or at least, don’t keep it so close to make it affect you negatively. I’ll need to amend her sentence when I next see her...” I noted to myself. She usually gave good advice really, most of the time anyway.

A small grin appeared on Miss Pie’s face, as she began to realise that living would eventually be alright, seeing as everypony can live with or without their suffering just fine. There didn’t feel like any point in keeping the misery from growing up with her, so she wanted to let it go; and talking to her friends would help that along. I wondered if I could explain to Destiny about hiding the biggest secret from her, as she sure didn’t take just the announcement well, so going into the details probably wouldn’t help. She had to know the truth though. I just hoped that it was going to be successful, showing her the real world. What had I been thinking?

“You wanna go get some ice cream now? It’s getting boring around here!” my companion’s normal voice had returned, and I felt delighted of that fact.

“Sure we can, my house isn’t that great to hang around.” At that, we left my place and headed for the ice cream parlour. It suddenly became hotter by the minute, and we needed something to offset that heat. “The only thing is, I don’t have anything to pay with.”

“Gosh Blue, you’re such a freeloader!” She giggled at me playfully. “I’ll cover for you this once.”

“Yeah I know, there’s a lot of bits I owe to my friends,” I admitted, embarrassed of the fact.

We approached the store and entered, making the traditional bell above the door chime to welcome us into this wonderful place. In front of us stood a counter, and behind it lay many different flavours of the frozen treat.

“So, what kind of ice cream would you girls like?” the server stallion asked us with a pleasant smile.

“I’ll go for starfruit flavour, my favourite! And Blue my friend wants chocolate, as usual,” Pinkie ordered for both of us, to my surprise.

“Sure, comin’ right up!” he said as he scooped out some of the flavours into little bowls and the money was pushed along the counter.

“How did you know about my favourite flavour?” I asked in confusion as we sat at a nearby table outside with our ice cream.

“I didn’t! I just figured that you were that kind of pony!” she cryptically answered. I shook my head and dived in to eat the frozen milk product.

The chilling headache set in, as well as adding the sharp pain to my teeth, so I had to stop for a second. I just watched the seemingly crazy pony opposite me keep going with her ice cream, not affecting her at all.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a pastel yellow coloured mare casually trotting down the path, probably to go to the market, and I wanted to go see her. “Pinkie, if it’s alright with you, I have to go and settle something with Fluttershy. Can I go?”

“Oh, sure you can!” she replied with the starfruit flavour around her face. I got up and left the table, causing my ice cream to be devoured by her as well.

I felt uneasy leaving the pink pony on her own, but she would be able to figure out what to do next, probably. She’s much more intelligent than she lets on. I also felt strained about meeting with my former lover, because I didn't know what would happen. Had I been forgiven? Did some sort of trauma exist between us? I just had to get to her and find out the situation.