Rez: Eqstr[Tera]

by NiGHTcapD

ID3: Insomnia

For all I'm worth, I can't seem to get any rest. Now, tonight is not an easy one to fall asleep on, for various reasons. For reference, it's been a week since the joke incident; five days since the last dreamscape roleplay with Luna, one less than that since my latest run-in with the "ghost in the network", and one less than that since the first day of the current hacking mission. Up until that began, I had been a few days since our last direct interaction, or at least between any of them and me. Even so, I've managed to find the time for it every day since, and for Twilight and her friends every day from the joke until today.

Today was hell, as in the Grecian punishing Tartarus. We tried to get one thing...one thing decoded with the Bombe. Nothing cracked. We were throwing around suggestions and coding as they came-until one of them mentioned the possibility of glitches being utilized, or of intentional corruption. In an instant, I was broken fixing. What? It's a "panic mode" of sorts, where I just fix and code and my fingers fly across the keyboard and my eyes dart across the screen...but it doesn't feel as good, in fact it doesn't feel at all. My brain works on borrowed energy, while I feel only one emotion: terror. (I have reason to believe this is an adrenaline reaction.)

When I lost the high, I had made some sort of progress...but we still couldn't get the code to break!

So while this is only the third day in a row of failure, I haven't been able to sleep for four, for some strange reason. I've been trying to go to bed since 7:30 PM, and now it's 11:45 and I'm getting nowhere fast. Code and thoughts are both running through my head, and visual and audio interference from the window isn't helping. I need some sort of escape.

*rumble* *beep*

And now my phone is ringing. The greater part of my mind wants to ignore it, but I get the feeling I don't want to miss this text. It's from...Luna? Yeah, better take a look now..."I believe it would be helpful to us both to talk."

I don't think that could be any closer to the truth, but I don't see how I'll be able to talk straight while like this.

"Appreciated, but unlikely to occur." I send the text, then exit the conversation. I take a look at the window, then out the window. I take note of the subpar weather, and of the third-quarter moon, which happens to be in just the right place to not be covered by storm clouds...curious, I know, but not really something I'd like to focus on right now. Arguably more curious is the girl walking down the street in the storm, using some sort of smartphone. Oddly comforting to know I'm not the only one sleepless tonight.

Then, I lay me down not to sleep, for a whole new thought process is eating at my cognitive processing unit. I feel completely overloaded...until I overload.

Only after it happens do I realize what then happened: lightning must have struck nearby, which I don't see. But the thunder is loud, sharp, and acts as such a shock that I must have shut down.

I "wake up" in a room, almost like a psychiatrist's office, only there's two couches and no chairs. Me and Luna are both lying down (on separate couches! What do you take me for?),

"So...hi, I guess. I'll admit I've had a hard time sleeping as of late, but it can't really be helped, given my current status in my occupation. What's your excuse?"

"My 'excuse' is that I am still attempting to adjust to this era...I had a quite disastrous slip-up today, during a one-off attempt to 'substitute teach' a course at my sister's school of magic."

"Lemme guess; I don't want to know the details."

"That would be one way of putting it. Would I like to know yours?"

"Probably not, mostly because the details would detract from the big picture. Let's just say I haven't been myself these past few days...sleep deprivation kinda does that to you."

Luna giggled a bit at that. "Well, you're asleep now, so I believe you might be good. As for my problems...in truth, I'm still worried about fitting into today's society."

My head turns towards her. "Eh?"

"I know I'm making progress, but one thousand years is still a long time to be out of the loop. What if I never truly fit in how I used to? And what if-"

"Hold on a moment!" I sit upright and face the internally-panicking princess, make sure I have her attention, then continue. "Okay, this may sound kind of mean...but did you ever actually think fitting in would be easy?"

She seems confused by the question, but rolls with it anyways. "...once. During Nightmare Night in Ponyville, I actually felt as if I was a proper part of the community."

"I take it a lot of progress was made that day?"

"That was the one night that I actually fit in, integral and necessary."

"Then remember that whenever you fear you won't fit in. Let me tell you something: any one person, or pony for that matter, can only really fit into a certain amount of circles. I mean sure, so many can know you and think well of you, and you or I can interact with different groups and come away from it positively, but there's a soft limit to those who you can really open up to. Your role-playing group of guards, for example?"

With a thoughtful expression, "Yeah...! I think I get it now. (I had completely forgotten about them...)" That last part had been muttered under her breath, but if you're reading it here, obviously I must have heard it.

"No pressure, I hadn't remembered them until I said it either. Now, I'll admit that you probably care a lot more about fitting in than I do, and I get that-you should be seen in a positive light by as many as possible, preferably your whole kingdom. But I'd be lost if it weren't for my own group; people I can work things through with, have fun with, and that in general don't think I'm crazy." I pause as Luna looks confused, before quickly adding "Even at the worst of times."

"And my group, with whom I can try to learn how not to be seen as crazy?" I nod. "Even though I'm not, just a thousand years out-of-date?"

"Not crazy so much as a little time-impaired, I know, but I'm not sure the general populace cares. But if you could do it way back when, you can do it again now. I have faith in you."

She smiled at that. "Thank you. And as for your sleep problems, you know how to ask me if you ever need help."

"Don't worry about it. I think this was the one good night I needed."

Author's Note:

I meant to get this in here, as a duet, but I near the end I found I wasn't able to fit it in without wreaking havoc on the quality of the chapter, which sucks because my chance wake-up alarm radio hearing of this song was inspiring. Literally, this chapter brought to you in part by Unwell, by Matchbox 20...but I guess I shouldn't have too many music chapters? Or maybe I have no idea what I'm saying on this subject. So I'll stop.
The lyrics (in case you need or want them) are here, and my favorite cover is here.

Note: the next chapter(s) may take various lengths of time, and be of varying length(s), for various reasons. Upcoming AP tests, Passover, my birthday, and the fact that the next chapter(s) are going to be elsewise special are all going to be contributing factors to effort with respect to time.
Likely, however, it's going to take less time than more. I refuse to leave you guys hanging.
Please be prepared, in case of rapid-fire updates.

Again, thank you all for staying with me up to now, keep up with your good lives.