A Battleground of Kindness

by StormDancer

Mistakes Were Made

Tea prepared: check
Teacups on a platter: check
Platter on a pillow: check
Three, lesser, pillows sacrificed to stuff the platter pillow so it meets standards: check
Evidence of the three lesser pillows removed: check
Sugar and cream in their proper containers: check
Improvised top hat made from a black measuring cup on head: check

Excellent! There's NO WAY the Master can still be angry with me now!

That being said, the Master is still the Master, so, fundamentally, there's no reason she can't be angry with me.

So, let's see. Tea prepared, Platter set. Flavor options obtained. Pillow stuffed. Hat on.

And the Master is still looking upset even though Stitchface is COMPLETELY fine.
Well, except for the whole "dead" thing. But that's hardly my fault. She started out dead... well, undead, but still!

Anyway, tea and polite-i-tude. Being 'nice' and 'helpful'. Not insulting the cancer-causing nightmare-fuel horse-beast made of smog. Making sure to not antagonize the wild imps that keep popping up... and they are popping up quite frequently — there's a literal room of them that I keep pointing out to the new arrivals.

Pretty much doing my best to NOT be the focus of attention.

And they are STILL glaring at me.

Okay, so, maybe the Master had to clean up the lab. And maybe the Master had to replace and or repair a lot of the lab equipment. And maybe the Master's bedroom had a substantial amount of smoke damage. And maybe the bed, curtains, drapes, blankets, door, portions of the floor, walls, window, toilet, and a few stairs had to be replaced. But they can't really blame ~me~ for those.

I mean, smoke and fire is kind of an aesthetic ~choice~ after all.

But all the same, it's really rather frustrating.

You know, when you go out of your way to do something nice and all anyone wants to do is remind you of what they think you've done wrong. It's pretty unfair! Like REALLY unfair!

I mean, sure, I've tried to kill her a few dozen times, and of course I've tried to destroy her minions before, and there's been no loss of love between the Traitor and myself since she tried to smear me into a little infernal paste or the Assassin tried to smother me to keep me quiet, but COME ON! That was BEFORE this morning! That's like.... an entirely different DAY! It might as well be a different LIFE!

I mean, why can't they see that I didn't kill Stitchface? I didn't smash her science stuff! I didn't bite ANYONE! And I didn't even make any fires! And FIRES are kind of my thing!

It's like they've just got this idea of what ~is~ and they're so stuck on it that they can't even see when it's not the case.

Hmmmm.... funny taste in my mouth. Kinda bitter... reminds me of those dusk ravens in the Undercity. Big black birds, kinda remind me of crows if not for the burning embers for eyes and the dripping gore of the carcasses they eat.

Oh.

Oh my.

I.... I think I know why they're glaring at me.

And all this time, I've been such a fool! I thought they were blaming me for all this... what I did TODAY. But.... but what if they're blaming me for ALL the stuff I've done and.... and they're not angry with the stuff, but because I haven't fixed it?

What if they're not angry because, instead, they're disappointed?

Aaaaaand, they're staring at me.

But I couldn't help it! I didn't mean to drop the platter when I stopped, splashing them with boiling hot tea and soaking them with cream and sugar. I - I just.... I can't even...

Why do they put up with such a terrible imp?

And I didn't even realize what I'd said, or when I'd said it, but when my thoughts caught up with me, I was sticky and hot and smelling like wet horse-beast and cream and very, VERY uncomfortable.

Because the Master was hugging me.

And... for the first time, I considered that maybe that kind of uncomfortable wasn't actually the worse thing out there.

"I'm sorry"

-~oOo~-

Well, after a... good... hugging, The Master asked me to follow her as she and Stitchface worked their way through the lab, cleaning up whatever The Master's magic had left behind. That is to say, whatever The Master had decided to leave for whatever reason. It seemed like simple things, books and a few papers, some boxes and a chair of all things, but stuff that was easy enough to set right.

I tried to help once or twice but The Master just smiled and snatched whatever it was away in her magic. Well, maybe 'snatched' is the wrong word — more like, 'gently plucked with an unstoppable force, not even the Gods would dare to resist', but... still. And, the smiling didn't even seem like a threat, it was more like she was, I don't know, forcing it somehow.

I felt pretty useless, even though she'd pat me on the head or promise it wasn't because I had been bad.

And Stitchface kept glancing at me with an inscrutable squint, when she looked at me at all.

I mean, I don't exactly know what a 'scrutable' squint would look like on an undead, but it was even more difficult than normal. She would literally look at me and tighten her lips one time and another would be like seeing a sleeping person who wasn't on fire.... almost completely relaxed, before she'd turn away again at The Master's voice.

It was almost like they were trying to pretend I wasn't there.

And all the while, the voidwalker was just quietly following us around like some stupid, intimidating, cloud with hooves.

Didn't make a single sound. Not once.

But when we got to the stairs leading up to the Master's bedchambers, I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed The Maser's tail and didn't let go, which stopped her.

Probably because the only time I actually touched The Master before was while flailing or when she'd been examining me. Definitely not because I wouldn't look at her.

But, I had to tell her, before she found out what had happened.

So I told her. I told her that I'd killed her minions. That I hadn't meant to, but when they were coming to help her, after I'd called for them, that they'd been confused by the fire and heard her panicking and run off and got culled by her cleverly concealed contrivance, the mysterious mirror of minion murder, and it was all my fault for calling them, that I should have known she'd be alright and that she had planned for the voidwalker to try to corrupt her and the fire and the explosions and titans and evil monsters and The Legion and Stitchface and broken glass and lamp oil and falling pianos and anvils and brick-rains and all the other indescribable horrors of her every day life...

And I would have gone on longer, but my lungs don't hold that much air and I was starting to see little flashes of white in my vision.

But it all boiled down to the fact that... I should have known better.

The Master didn't need help, she had never needed help, and by trying to help, I had only succeeded in killing her minions off — I had only succeeded in killing her friends.

Pretty much a low point for me.

And she hugged me again, and told me that she was pretty sure they were okay.

And then she lit up her head pike and I waited for the end.

And she shot the mirror.

And a few moments later, the minions stumbled back out, looking confused and unstable.

Except the Pink one, she bounced through with a "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" before slapping a little colorful cone on top of my head, right on top of my measuring cup hat.

And Stitchface just sat down and stared as the Master used a MAGE portal... because she doesn't care about class restrictions because she's The Master.

And she was fine. And they were fine. And the Master was fine. And everything was fine.

And I was..........fine... with that.

And the Voidwalker, he finally said something. Something I'd been wanting to hear from him since the first moment I'd seen him. He said, "Ssssssend me back."

And after a few moments, The Master nodded with a tiny little smile and said "Yes. I think that would be for the best."