Whatever I Want, That's What!
You know Twilight, when I said ‘let the games begin’, that wasn’t a challenge. I meant it literally.
“Shut up.”
That’s another thing. Why can I talk if all you ever tell me to do is ‘shut up’?
“’Cause I need you to talk, but right now you’re being annoying, now shut up!”
You could change that, you know. Easily. All it would take is a single command…
“I command you to shut up!”
…
“Sky, why can’t I move?”
…
“Sky?”
…
“Oh, right… Sky Voice, I hereby release you from my previous command to shut up.”
Twilight stumbled slightly as she regained control of her faculties—
“Ooh, real mature Sky!”
—almost tumbling down the hill she had just crested. Below her, stretching infinitely into the distance, was a great amount of land, every so often broken by a thin, dark line, after which a small section of Old Equus, that which contained Ponyville and Canterlot, would repeat again. Most of the nearby areas were nothing more than smoking craters.
“Do you really have to rub that in every time we come here?”
Yes. Yes I do.
Twilight sighed. “I’ve gotten better though, haven’t I?”
I would look pointedly at Sector Z-2, but I don’t have eyes, so I’ll just tell you that I’m looking pointedly at Sector Z-2. How long ago was that little experiment? Two days?
“Three,” Twilight muttered out the side of her mouth, proving once again that she was needlessly attentive in all the wrong ways.
“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” she shouted into thin air. “You know who I’m talking to, you jerk! I swear, I would truly mute you if I didn’t need you.”
Hey, I’m only a disembodied representation of your World’s narration given life and personality by a lonely alicorn princess in the final days of her sanity.
“Oh, is that all?” Prissy Princess Number Four snarked. She sighed. “I guess I just couldn’t handle being alone anymore,” she continued, completely ruining the fun of being an all-powerful deity by bringing up one of the flaws still clinging to her from her mortal life. After all, she could simply make herself happy and be done with it.
“I could, but that’s not really in the sport of things, is it Sky?”
…You bring up a good point, Twilight. It’s not truly fun unless it’s a challenge, is it? Well, you’ve certainly been having fun (again, imagine me looking pointedly at Sector Z-2).
Ah, finally, a grin! That’s what I wanted to see! Oh, ahem… Twilight Sparkle was indeed grinning a goofy grin as she merrily skipped down the mountain at a nearly ninety degree angle. How was she doing that, you ask? Well, let’s ask her!
“I’ve altered physics to make travel much easier and faster,” was her response. “At first, I actually kept most of the old physics boundaries and simply made creatures travel faster, but that ended up… well, let’s just say it ended poorly.”
Oh sure, if you can call a fifteen million per minute average mortality—
“Anyway, it didn’t work all that well. A lot of testing and drifting farther and farther away from the world’s original laws later, I arrived at a fairly simple solution. In essence, wherever you’re going, you travel exactly as fast as you need to. Another way to explain it would be that whoever is doing the traveling moves at a certain rate of speed, depending upon the strength of the urge they feel to get somewhere, and the world around them flexes and warps to get them there exactly when they’re needed!”
A side effect of the warping is what you just witnessed with the sideways gravity thingy.
“Elegantly worded as usual, Sky. But yes, there are still a few kinks here and there that need to be resolved.”
So where are you heading now, then?
“Why don’t you see for yourself?” Twilight stopped at the edge of a large ravine, one of the many borders between the copied sectors of Old Equus. Ah, Sector Z-2, what a marvelous and spectacular mistake that was. But… why did you come here, of all places?
“I figured our new audience would appreciate a strong start to our new world! What better place to start than this?”
I suppose that’s true… so that’s it then? We’re starting now? I’d hoped you would give me a little more time to prepare than that.
“Well… that was the plan, but I’m getting a bit bored.” The purple alicorn giggled. “Besides, I think you’re more than ready, buddy. If you ever get stuck, just… make stuff up or something!”
You mean ad lib? I don’t know… I’m not really good with off-the-cuff stuff.
“Well, you’re already rhyming, so that’s a good sign!” Another giggle escaped her lips. “So, are you ready then?”
I sighed and said, “Yeah, I suppose.”
“Great! Let’s get started then!” And with that, Twilight jumped across the gap, and into an adventure so wild and twisted, nopony would forget it for a very, very long time.
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Again, we've come across a Stanley Parable situation.
What shall we create?
4753314
I suppose the two are very similar, aren't they? Maybe the thought subconsciously entered my mind as I was writing? Sounds like something the Narrator would do!
4753339
Wonderous things! Majestic things! Scenes of beauty so intense and magical that nothing with eyes can stand to behold its glory!
Also, explosions!
4753351
Pizza?
4753355
I'll see if I can slip it in there somewhere...
4753351 but what if it just has really bad eyesight?
Like an okapi.
Or a sea bear.
AAND it turned out to be a comedy.
COMPLETELY pegged that one wrong.
4753493
Comedy or not, it will be sad to see the show go. They will be missed, but their legacy will be continued through fan work like this website and EQD.
4753408
We have glasses on hand to help them not be able to see its majestic glory.
Predicting feature in the future, due to faggotry.
4753530 like, tiny glasses? What kind of glasses, David Tenant glasses? Hipster glasses? Or...
*le gasp
Google glasses?
4753564
All glasses, any glasses, even plastic glasses and half-pint glasses!
All glasses, that is, save one... DEATH TO THE POSERS! NO MORE 'GOOGLE GLASS'!
4753550
I'm flattered you would predict such a feat, but I have one question. What
would you be referring to, good sir/madam?
4753595
The feature system is a piece of crap, and nobody but knighty knows how it works. Personally, I'm convinced that gay Jewish elves live in the Fimfiction server farms, and in the course of their buggery a wire gets crossed, randomly leading to a featured story.
Or just call it a hunch.
4753620
Hmm... how does one bribe a gay Jewish elf farmer?
...Maybe you bribe them with hunches?
4753664
Hell if I know. I just work here.
Funny story, though.
Mlp abridged would be funny
4753530 Mm-hm.
4753825 There are some decent abridged series, such as 'Friendship is Witchcraft' and 'The Mentally Advanced Series'.
I prefer the latter.
4753901 And that's what I'm counting on!
4753898 I know, I meant when experimenting with life she makes a mistake and creates FiW
4753954 Ah. Gotcha.
4754686
Ah, The Neverending Story! That's one of my favorites. This is going to be a little bit sillier than that, though.
Well, this is an interesting thing.
You've certainly got the fourth-wall breaking going on. The cover art reminds me vaguely of The Truman Show.
It feels like a National Geographic documentary where the documentee is talking back.
Keep going.
4757431
It's actually a Yamaha advertisement.
As a side note, I like that people are noticing themes, but a part of me keeps getting bashed over the head with a frying pan every time someone points out that an element in my story has been done before.
I'm doing that right now!
4757527
Everything has already been done before. If you want to be original, invent a time machine, and go back a few tens of thousands of years, and start painting on cave walls in France.