Luna Gets Left In Charge For Six Days

by oakscreator123

Luna Exhibits Her Incredibly Responsible And Absolutely Vigilant Behavior By Immediately Slacking Off From Working

"Goodbye, dear sister! Tell Scorpan I say hello!"

Luna waved at Celestia and she waved in return as Celestia rode away to the land of Scorpan and Tirek, whatever land that was, since Luna never particularly paid attention to Equestrian history. Luna put her hooves behind her head and laid back in the throne. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes when a member of the Day Guard opened the doors to the throne room and bowed.

"Your Highness, the day court has begun. The nobles request your presence immediately."

Princess Luna clapped her hooves and smiled with a giddy schoolfilly-like giggle. "Oh, what fun! The peasants of the day request my presence and opinion!"

The guard looked up at Luna confusedly and proceeded to correct her. "With all due respect, your Highness, they're not peasants. Nobleponies are essentially the opposite of peasants so-"

"You dare correct me?!" How dare you, most insolent guard! Begone with you and your incessant insubordiation!"

The guard tilted his head to the side confusedly and vanished on-cue with the blue glow of Luna's horn. The guard reappeared in an unknown area. He looked at his surroundings. The sky was black, Luna's stars were near, and there were giant craters spread about the ground. He then looked behind him to notice the entire planet of Equus. His eyes widened as he had an epiphany of the disciplinary measure that Luna just took against his supposed "insubordination." He plopped his flank on the ground and kicked lightly at the ground when Princess Luna suddenly appeared before him.

"Rise, most insolent palace guard!" uttered Luna when he began to bow. "Now go sit in the corner and think about what you did, young colt!" The guard confusedly looked in every direction, somewhat confused as to where one might find the corner of a giant sphere. Before he had the chance to ask, or even speak, Luna vanished and reappeared in Celestia's court room.

"Rise, peasants! For your princess has arrived!" ordered Luna. She then noticed that none of the nobles were actually bowing. She raised an eyebrow as the nobles all mingled and whispered with one another while occasionally eyeing Princess Luna. Luna grew increasingly impatient and began to grimace irritatedly at the nobles. After about four minutes of waiting for the nobles to speak to her, she decided to just speak up. For the first time that day, she spoke in modern Equestrian dialect rather than a mutation of both old Equestrian and modern Equestrian.

"What is wrong with you ponies? Don't you know how to treat royalty like me? You haven't spoke to me, bowed, or done anything of the like since I ent-"

"Shhh! Do you mind not being so rude, lady? In case you haven't noticed, we are trying to have a civil discussion here. So why don't you just stop acting like a little schoolfilly and wait your turn to speak?"

Luna's jaw dropped at one of the most disrespectful things she had ever heard anypony say to her or her sister. She couldn't even reply to him immediately, she simply sat and tried to process the information that had just been presented to her in the form of the rudest, snottiest noble she had ever met.

"Wh- how dare you?! Don't you know who I am? I'm the Princess of the freakin' Night!" snarled Luna as she revealed her canines in a small fit of rage.

The nobleponies simply looked at each other, and giggled.

"What's so damn funny, you snotty workhorse?!"

After the giggling had finally toned down, a noblepony bravely spoke up with pride and an obvious feeling that he was better than Luna, for some reason. "You act as if it really matters. Your sister is in charge and everypony is asleep during your night, anyways." The noblepony broke out into the snottiest laugh anypony had ever heard when he saw Luna's expression become livid. "Why don't you just stop acting important and get a life, you nobody?" At this point, all of the nobleponies were laughing out loud, heads held high. One pony was even rolling around on the floor laughing. Meanwhile, Luna audibly blew a head gasket and bucked down a wall. The nobles immediately stopped laughing and their expressions all turned to fear. The one who called Luna a nobody looked absolutely horrified.

"I'm going to burn your mane, bite off your cutie mark, and tear you limb from limb, you snotty, overconfident, superior-acting rich waste of space!"

Luna quickly cantered up to the noblepony, spinned around, and bucked him in the face so hard that he was ejected backwards through the courtroom window, and could be heard smashing into the ground below. When Luna could hear a barely audible "I'm okay" from the ground outside, she grasped the rest of the nobles in her magic, floated them out of the window, and all dropped them on top of the first noblepony. About eight minutes later, she struggled to push Celestia's throne out through the window to land it on top of the nobleponies. After finishing that task, she dusted off her hooves and went back to the throne room. On her way there, she grabbed a Daring Do book from her bedroom and sat down in her throne to lay back and read it for a while. While she was reading, her eyelids became increasingly heavy with every waking moment. She quickly darted her eyes open and contemplated whether or not she could take a nap. While she was deciding whether or not to have herself a little snooze, she fell asleep and had a dream about deciding whether or not to have herself a little snooze.

"Wait a second." Luna had an epiphany while trying to make a decision. She looked around to notice that her throne room did not look the same as it usually did. It was green, brown and yellow, much smaller, and was covered in a bunch of text that Luna couldn't read. She looked at the clock to notice that it was ticking backwards. She looked outside to notice that the sky lacked several of her stars.

"Damn it, I fell asleep!" shouted Luna. At that moment, she had an epiphany.

"Wait...if I make dreams...and I'm dreaming... then who the hell is doing this?"

A particular male voice rang throughout the room as a certain draconequus appeared. "I was waiting for you to notice!" He snapped his fingers and the room suddenly appeared as it was supposed to appear, and Luna felt the sensation of snapping awake. Luna's stomach began to hurt and she felt like she was about to puke. Suddenly, she felt the worst pain she had felt in over a thousand years right at the top of her throat.

"Son of a diamond bitch!" shouted Luna as two hands came out of her throat and propped open her jaws. An antler and a horn, followed by a body consisting of furry torsos and dragon legs slithered out of Luna's mouth and left her gasping for air after it had made its way out.

"Discord...what the John Jay are you doing!?"

"Just having some fun is all I'm up to, my dear Lulu." Discord used his claw to poke Luna in the horn, then continued speaking. "So, I can see you're bored."

"How can you see that?"

"There's a pile of nobles outside of the window." Discord snapped his fingers and produced a life-sized Luna statue, levitated it outside, and dropped it on the nobles. He did the same with a refrigerator and a large red button.

"Hey, Discord...Do you wanna hang out?"

Discord faced Luna, bearing an expression of genuine worry. "Er, Luna, aren't you supposed to be busy watching the kingdom? We'll both get in trouble by your sister if we goof off." Discord's head then turned into Celestia's head, and he began to talk in her voice. "Oh, boohoo! Lulu! You're in such big trouble! Stop goofing off! You're grounded to the moon for TWO thousand years this time! And no TV and no Xbox ever again for the rest of the millennium!" Discord then snapped his fingers and reverted back to normal.

Luna shrugged. Discord's worried expression suddenly changed to that of a giddy excited smile. He skipped along with Luna so the two old friends could hang out for the day.

"Where should we go?" inquired Discord. Luna and Discord exited the front gates of the palace and Luna looked left, right, and then to her left again.

"Let's go hang out with Twilight Sparkle and her friends."

Discord screamed giddily. "Hooray, I get to hang out with Fluttershy again! Er, ahem, I mean, sure! Ponyville! Let's go!"
In an attempt to change the subject from what he just said, Discord snapped his fingers and produced a giant flying wagon attached to a train attached to a celery stalk. Luna hopped into the wagon and Discord opened a hidden door on the celery stalk that was shaped to snugly fit him in it. Rather than flying or riding or whatever it looked like he was going to do, a portal opened in front of the celery train wagon. The celery train wagon traversed forward into this portal and spontaneously ended up in front of Sugarcube Corner. Discord randomly appeared in front of the door and Luna slowly trotted out of the wagon. Before entering the building, she looked up at the building to observe it. She then looked over the horizon at Canterlot Mountain to think about what she probably should have been doing right now. She decided she shouldn't think about it too much and galloped into the building to see Pinkie Pie and Discord chatting under a cotton candy cloud of chocolate rain. She walked underneath the rain cloud to join them.

"Hello, Pinkie Pie!"

"Princess Luna, what's a funnier word, chimicherry, cherrychanga, pickleberry, or kumquat? In my opinion, pickleberry is the funniest word!" Luna's head began to spin as Pinkie began to talk increasingly and overwhelmingly faster. "Buthowwouldyouevengrowpickleberriessincetheyarentarealthingwouldyoudigaholeandputapickleinitandhowlongwouldittaketogrowyouknowwhatidlovetogrowontreescakewhatifyoucouldplantcupcakesandgowcupcaketrees-"

Luna's head was now spinning impossibly fast - it was literally spinning in circles on her neck so quickly that she had to physically grab the sides of her head to stop it. "T'was a....very nice speech you gave us there, Pinkie." When Luna let go of her head, it began to unwind in the opposite direction so quickly that she began to slowly rise into the air as if her head was the blade of a helicopter. Luna let out a hearty "Whoooaaa!" as she began to fly around the room like an alicoptercorn thing as she hit the ceiling and darted off of the walls. Discord was simply on his knees laughing the entire time, pounding the floor with his fisted paw, begging for mercy, gasping for air. Pinkie did the same, laughing at what she thought was just a joke Luna was pulling. Finally, Luna's headcopter unwinded all the way and she fell briefly down back to the floor. The pink pony and the multicolored draconequus were still laughing as if Seth Rogen was standing before them. Pinkie then stopped laughing when her tail began to twitch.

"Twitch-a-twitch-a twitchatwitch!" Pinkie Pie dashed over to Discord's side and tackled him to the floor. Before Discord could ask why he was just pounced by a pinkie party pony pie, a cerulean pony smashed through the ceiling of Sugarcube Corner right above where Discord was standing. Her amazing speeds were halted by a cold, unforgiving tile floor which she hit face first, smashing some of the tile around her and bringing up lots of dust and smoke. When the smoke finally cleared, the cerulean pony with the colorful mane was finally able to be made out as Rainbow Dash, who was unconscious and clearly had a concussion, as anybody could have figured out from the giant bump on her head. Luna, Discord, and Pinkie finally approached the unconscious Element of Loyalty and, after a few minutes of staring emptily at her limp, unconscious body, Discord was the first one to speak.

"Should....should we call somebody?" he asked nervously. He then produced a dress shirt and used one of his talons to pull on the collar of said shirt. It then proceeded to disappear without a cause.

"Pinkie Pie, I must ask you..."

Pinkie's head swiveled about 270 degrees to her left to face Luna standing to her right. "Yeeeeeesssss?"

"How did you know that Rainbow Dash would crush Discord had you not moved him out of the way?"

Pinkie's head then twisted the other direction another 360 degrees so that she was no longer twisting her neck like a Hearth's Warming Eve candy cane. "Because, silly filly!" Pinkie's tail twitched and she grabbed Luna's foreleg and moved her to her right about four meters. This action was followed by, as if on cue, a tile falling from the ceiling right above where Luna was standing. Luna's eyes widened as she realized Pinkie Pie possessed mysterious, otherworldly powers. "I did it with my Pinkie Seeeeense!" exclaimed Pinkie with rhythm and sing-song in her voice.

Luna eyed Pinkie and bowed. Pinkie's smile vanished and was replaced with an expression of confusion. Why was one of the princesses of the entire kingdom bowing down - to her?

"Pinkie Pie... you possess an amazing power that can be used to maintain the well-being of the kingdom. I hereby dub you...worthy."

Luna's horn touched the forehead of Pinkie Pie, causing Pinkie to vanish. Discord simply stared confusedly at Luna - he was essentially the king of chaos and all that was random, but even he was completely stumped at the ridiculous decision that he just watched the young regal sister make. Suddenly, a blinding light appeared in the center of the room. When it was dim enough to look at directly, it was revealed to be three balloons in a triangular formation - the bottom two blue, the uppermost yellow. Slowly, the balloons slowly vanished.

"Pinkie Pie, I hereby dub thee..."

---

"The Princess of the Prevention of Disasters That Are Going To Occur In the Near Future?!"

Twilight looked absolutely shocked as she stared at a proud Luna putting her hoof around the neck of her new princess buddy, Pinkie Pie, whose somewhat small horn looked ridiculous compared to her giant wings, which were bigger than any of the other four princesses, for some reason.

"You're telling me that you're going to give Pinkie this kind of responsibility just because of her Pinkie Sense?!"

"Indeed," replied Luna. "Her abilities have much power invested in them. I believe she is capable of using her Pinkie Sense, which I assume was 'upgraded' by her transformation, to protect Equestria from opening doors, doozies, and falling objects. It is my understanding that, again, she will now be able to predict more drastic events that are less instant than before."

Twilight shook her head at Luna's reasoning for hastily making Pinkie Pie an alicorn princess. Princess Pinkie's horn began to glow as she tried out her first magic trick, which turned out surprisingly successful.

She made a giant party cannon.

"Pinkie Pie, you're going to be careful with that thing...right?"

Pinkie giggled as she lit the fuse on the end of the cannon. As the flame slowly followed the rope down to the barrel of the cannon, everypony in the room plugged their ears to prepare for the loud blast. (Except for Discord, who produced a giant conch shell so he could hear the blast better.) As the cannon exploded in a mighty fit of gunpowder, destruction, and fun partying times, not only did it shoot down the walls of Twilight's castle just by shooting its intensely massive sound waves against the side of the castle, but it also shot through the hole at least 80,000 balloons, which began to rise up and coat the skies and block out the sun.

Luna marveled at the sun-blocking balloons for a moment.

Sun-blocking balloons.

No sun.

Sun.

It finally hit Luna that it should have been night by now, but she was slacking off so much she forgot! She rose her moon, and completely ignored the fact that she didn't know how to set the sun. So, rather than it being full-fledged night, it was simply a solar eclipse that occurred, causing a lot of commotion around Equestria. The three princesses and Discord all walked outside to look up at the solar eclipse and the party balloons that plagued the sky. Once again, silence was not broken for several minutes. Finally, Twilight looked over at Luna.

"You do realize that this is all your fault, right?"

Luna did not know the slightest smidgen of regret, an apologetic attitude, or anything of the sorts. Instead, she simply shrugged without even so much as looking in Twilight's direction. Luna quickly changed the subject and made another suggestion to have some fun, since she was at a loss for fun things to do.

"So, who wants to go get hammered?"

Discord and Pinkie raised their hands and them and Luna both laughed as they made their way to the first bar they could find. Twilight turned around to look back at the giant party cannon in her house. She turned back around in the original direction that she was looking in, back at the solar eclipse and the balloon-ridden skies.

"Fuck it," said Twilight as she flew away from her castle to catch up with Discord, Pinkie, and Luna to go out drinking. After all, it's just an eclipse and some party balloons, what's the worst that could happen?

Author's Note:

I would appreciate comments and criticism and whatnot, since this is my first ever p0ne fiction. Oh, and brace yourself, for magical flying drunken Pinkie Pie and Discord are coming.

Comments

[420Sage]

Turning pinkie pie into a alicorn is the worst thing luna can possibly do. all I can say now is that equestria is fucked

[Iron Sky]

http://www.fimfiction.net/writing-guide#Paragraphing

[oakscreator123]

4684831 I know, sorry about that. I noticed the paragraphs had become way too chunky when I proofread it, but I sort of couldn't tell myself where exactly one point ended and another point began. I'm trying to work on having less obese paragraphs in chapter 3. Hopefully that makes it less... painful... to absorb.

[marley]

Very funny story. Not sure if Luna is actually that incompetent but it does seem like something the show writers would do. I can see her reacting to the noble ponies the way she did. I always get the feeling that crossing Luna would be a bad thing. Added to favs

[oakscreator123]

4685889 Why, thank you, young gentlecolt!

[oakscreator123]

4684518 Equestria is royally fucked.

[CookieDo]

4685960

Duh!!