Fate is a Storm
Back in the forests of Everfree, all was quiet with dark clouds looming over. Well, it would be technically be empty too, if it were not for the presence of a white unicorn and purple dragon wandering the place. Spike had technically told Twilight that he was going to go see Rarity, but didn’t mention the part he was going to the cave with the latter.
“Spike, are you absolutely sure it is here?” Rarity asked, what could’ve been the tenth variation of the same question.
“It’s supposed to be, I’m sure of it,” Spike answered back.
Actually, he wasn’t quite sure. For the past few hours, Spike took her to where he believed was the location that the cave was. The issue was that it happened to be in an area where it went off the main path. It quickly became apparent that they were lost at that point.
“Rarity, I know it was here,” Spike said, “You gotta believe me.”
“I believe you, Spike,” Rarity responded in a sympathetic tone, “believe me, I would never think that you would fake a story of Twilight pulling out a drowning mare. But still, this cave you kept talking about seems to be quite a ways away and must be somewhere else. Are you really sure it is worth it?”
“I’m sure of it,” he said with as much confidence as he mustered, “When I show you this cave, you’ll be knocked off your socks.”
“Darling, I’m not wearing socks,” she responded amusingly.
With the response flying over him, Spike decided to continue the search. Whatever it was going to take, he was definitely going to find the place.
On the small yacht, Hunter was on the side of the side of the deck, tapping his feet furiously. After Faith fell off board last night, the five friends have gone to various lengths to find her for the several hours. Hunter and Willow had started steering the yacht around to try to spot her. Indigo got a rubber raft and oars and started to scout out the area. Raine had called on her cell to send help, but it turned out to be delayed, so she decided to join Indigo on the raft.
So far, no one has found a trace of her, much to Hunter’s frustration. Hunter continued to scan the horizon, hoping to find anything that could lead them to Faith.
“Hunter, can you find anything?” Willow called out to him, the former standing at the other side of the ship.
“Still looking,” Hunter responded back, impatiently, “How’s your end?”
“…Nothing,” he simply answered. A bit of time passed before he spoke up again, “This is hopeless…”
Hunter immediately turned to Willow when he heard the remark. He didn’t like what he was hearing. “What the hell do you mean??”
Willow turned around to look at Hunter, “We’ve been searching forever. You’d think we would find something by now.”
“What are you saying?? That we should give up?!” Hunter started to get confrontational.
“That’s not it. I’m saying we should regroup until we can get help.” Willow replied, trying to keep.
“And then what?? That’ll take way too long. You seriously thinking about giving up now??”
Willow was doing his best to keep a straight face, “Hunter, listen to yourself! We haven’t had any luck finding her. If we did, we wouldn’t be out here for hours. We have to try again with more help another.”
Without warning, Hunter suddenly grabbed Willow by the collar.
“We are NOT leaving Faith!” he yelled furiously, “I refuse to leave her. She could still be out there.”
“And what then?!” Willow shouted back, gripping Hunter’s shirt collar with a single hand, “How do we know she is still even alive?! We have no idea what’s her state, let alone where she is.”
“So why should we stop?? She wouldn’t give up on us!”
“I know that! I’m not saying we give up. I’m saying we have to try something different! Do you intend to stay here, in the middle of this god-forsaken lake, just to try to aimlessly find one person?!”
The two of them simply stared down each other, still gripping each other’s clothing. Hunter didn’t want to admit it, but Willow was right on one thing. They still had no idea where to continue looking for Faith.
“Hey, guys!” Maple suddenly started calling from the front of the boat, “Willow! Hunter! Indigo and Raine are back!”
Hunter looked away from Willow when he heard this. Sure enough, the top of a latter was hooked on the side of the boat, and the group’s resident mood maker got onto the boat, followed by Raine.
“Hey guys,” Indigo positively greeted, seemingly not reading the current atmosphere, “What’s going on??”
Hunter immediately let go of Willow, who did the same as well, “Nothing, just settling our differences.”
‘Settling our differences’ was a phrase all too often used when it came Willow and Hunter. Everyone pretty much agreed that when those two argue, it would inevitably lead to physical blows being exchanged. The others would scold the two for whatever disagreement they got themselves into. An unspoken rule was created as a result, as Hunter and Willow agreed to drop everything when someone else was about to get involved.
Of course, Indigo raised an eyebrow without changing his usual expression, “You sure?”
Willow quickly straightened his shirt, “We’re fine. Trust us.”
Indigo shrugged, “Alright. Anyway, Hunter, I’m sorry.” He bowed his head to Hunter.
The latter had a feeling he knew this was the answer to his unspoken question, “You couldn’t find Faith either, huh?”
“Yeah,” Indigo simply answered back, “It’s so weird, though.”
“What is,” Willow cocked an eyebrow, “the fact that Faith is missing for too long or the fact we can’t find her?”
Indigo looked up, lost in thought, “I mean… Even if things weren’t running in our favor, I honestly thought we would’ve been able to find something. Yet we didn’t: not in the middle of the lake, not on the shores, and not even underwater.”
Hunter gave a skeptical look, “What was that last part about underwater?” Now that he thought about, Indigo did indeed look soaked, as water was dripping from his pants.
“Indigo went diving occasionally,” Raine explained, “He thought he could find something underwater.”
“But still, no one disappears without a trace just like that. And Faith is great at swimming, so we would expected something as soon as last night to find her. But nothing, not her or any trace, has come up. That’s strange.”
Hunter couldn’t help but feel that Indigo had a very good point. For all the time they’ve been searching, absolutely nothing came up, despite how thorough they’ve been.
“Plus, there’s the fact that freak rainstorm. Raine, didn’t you say we wouldn’t have to worry about bad weather for a while, a week at least,” Indigo asked.
Raine nodded, “Yeah, but since when have forecasts always been accurate? Plus, I don’t see how a bit of rain has anything do to with this.”
“But still, it was way too large to be not noticed by forecasters,” Indigo pointed out, “Plus, I don’t remember a storm capable of creating large waves. Doesn’t it sound strange?”
Hunter shook his head, “Indigo, how on in the fu…” Raine gave him a look, “How the hell does that have to do finding Faith?”
Indigo gave a quizzical look while tilting his head sideways, “I dunno, isn’t that a good question?”
Hunter smiled amusingly as he shook his head. In times like these, it’s still amazes him that Indigo was capable of thinking such random assumptions despite the gravity of any situation. He looked up for a minute, realizing how dark it was starting to get. He hadn’t realized at all that the sunset pretty much almost set, and the moon was visible again.
“Damn, dark already,” he remarked.
“We should probably call off the searching,” Raine suggesting, “We’re not going to get anything done at the dark.”
Willow nodded, “Right, let’s…”
Before he could finish his sentence, Indigo interrupted him, “Uhh, guys, anyone feel like taking two on ‘Freak Tropical Rainstorm?’”
Hunter looked, an indeed, there were once again dark clouds, threateningly looming over them in the sky. It quickly got dark as the clouds moved over them. Hunter felt a something wet bounce off his shoulder.
“Aww, shi…”
“Hey you two!”
Spike and Rarity looked. Above the trees, a cyan and rainbow colored pegasus flew in.
“Hey, Rainbow Dash!” Spike waved, “What’s up?”
“I was about to ask the same thing,” Rainbow responded, “What are you and Rarity doing in Everfree, wandering around like this?”
“Spike insisted that we try to find the cave he and Twilight previously took shelter in last night,” Rarity answered, “We’re a just a tad bit off track at the moment, but hopefully Spike here will be back on track.”
“Well, you better be faster about it,” Rainbow remarked, then pointed to the sky, “Rain is schedule to come down soon, so you better make it quick.”
“Oh my, is that so,” Rarity said warily, “In that case, we should probably hurRRRY UUUPPP!?”
As she made her remark, a sudden flash of heavy rain came down on the trio’s heads. Heavy torrents of water poured from the sky, making large crashing noises with the local trees and Flora.
“Yikes!! Run!” was all Spike yelled before sprinting off in a random direction.
Rarity and Rainbow followed suit, trying their best to follow the young dragon through the forest. They ran through the thick brush and forest as the sound of thunder and flash of lightning happened around them.
“Rainbow Dash! I thought the rain wasn’t supposed to be bad since yesterday,” Rarity yelled, “You told me that yourself!”
“I did! We and weather team made sure to triple check the clouds ever since the freak rain yesterday. I even made sure the rain in the clouds were only able capable of class 3 rain. This is way beyond what we were setting up for,” Rainbow Dash shouted.
“Hey, guys! Over here,” Spike shouted behind him, “I think I see shelter.”
Following Spike’s voice, the two mares sped up to follow him and get out of the rain quickly. All three dove into a cave, which was dry and got them out of the rain.
“Well, that was… an unpleasant surprise,” Rarity remarked, looking at her wet mane, “And to think I had this fixed up today after yesterday’s fiasco.”
Rainbow chuckled at the sight of Rarity’s drenched mane. “Really? I think that’s an improvement any day,” she playfully comment.
Rarity ignored the remarked as she levitated a compact from her saddle bags, opening it to examine herself with the mirror inside. Spike, after shaking off the water for the second time in a week, looked around the cave. He felt that this place was familiar. Then he saw the end of the cave was a hole, a definitely familiar sight.
Spike quickly walked towards Rarity and pointed towards the entrance. “Rarity, over here! It’s over there,” he said, excited.
“Wait, what is?” she asked, caught off guard.
“The cave, this is it!” he replied with enthusiasm. While things didn’t go exactly as planned, everything had worked out in the end.
If he could afford to think at the time, it would be that things would most likely not work out well in the end.
Just like last night, a freak amount of rain had started to pour on the group’s head. Naturally, their first instinct was to duck straight in the inside of the boat. However, the wind grew strong in a heartbeat, and the boat rocked uncontrollably, sending its occupants all over the place. Hunter and the others immediately grabbed the first things that were nailed down to keep themselves from getting thrown around.
As hard rain poured onto his head, Hunter made an effort to look straight for the others, while gripping onto the railing of the boat. He saw that Raine had decided to grab the side railing as well, and held for dear life. He saw Indigo taking cover under the table that was nailed down, ducking down and hanging onto the leg.
“Aahh!” a female shriek came from another direction.
“Maple! Keep close!”
Hunter turned his head to see Maple and Willow coming from the front of the ship. When the downpour started, Willow headed straight for the front of the ship, to retrieve Maple. It felt like it was an hour since he took off, so it was actually a relief to see the two alright.
Without warning, another wave of water smashed into the boat, tilting again precariously. Hunter braced himself as he felt more water spray onto his head. He also heard Maple screech, followed by hearing a thump from something hitting the deck. He looked over to see that Maple had fallen over, and it looked like her foot was in one of the water drains.
Maple lifted herself up and held her head for a bit, and saw her foot in the hole. “What… Oh no…,” she tried to pry her foot out, but didn’t succeed, “Help! I think I’m stuck!”
Willow saw this, and was clearly had a moment of distress, “Maple! Hold on, I’m…” Before he could act, a spray of water hit him in the face, causing him lose his grip on the railing and fall back. He quickly recovered and shot his hand up, grabbing the railing and keeping himself from sliding around.
“Hey, you alright, man!?” Hunter shouted to his friend.
“I’m fine!” he shouted back, “But I’m too far from Maple! You’re closer! Help her out!”
Hunter didn’t think twice to act. He began to straddle along the rail, working his way slowly to Maple. He tasted the combination of washed up lake water and rain in his mouth, and the boat continued to shake relentlessly. Regardless, he pressed forward with determination, and eventually got to Maple’s side. He bent down, one hand on the rail, and tried to see if he could pry her foot out of the water drain.
It didn’t come out willingly, though. “Ow! Ow!” Maple winced, “I think it’s in the wrong way.”
“Here, lemme get it righted,” Hunter got both hands to get a good grip on her foot, “Here straighten your foot out, and it should go through just fine.”
Maple did so, and with a tug, Hunter got her foot out. He helped her on her feet and she got a grip on the railing.
“Th-thank you…,” Maple said shakingly.
“INCOMING!”
What came next came in a complete blur. Before Hunter could act, a humongous wave hit the side of the boat opposite to Hunter and Maple’s side, and water came rushing in on the deck. Hunter was swept off his feet, and got knocked over the side of the barrier. However, either by pure instinct or sheer luck, he managed to grab onto the side, hanging for dear life. He looked down to see the raging lake water, far more ferocious than the tranquility it previously exuded. He tried to pull himself up and into the boat, but for some reason felt too weak to do so.
That’s when two pairs of hands reached out and grabbed his arms. He looked up to see Willow and Raine above him, holding onto his arms.
“Hunter, you alright?” Willow called out. Hunter nodded in response.
“Don’t worry, we got you,” Raine assured him.
“Hey, guys,” two pairs of arms were wrapped around Raine and Willow’s waists. “We got you two. On the count of three, we pull him up,” Indigo called out.
For one second, the feeling of relief had overcome Hunter. The next, an enormous amount of fear surfaced up. As the boat tilted again, this time on the opposite of their friends, he saw a wave of water. Not just an ordinary, leg brushing wave. It was tall, too the least, and it seemed to be at least the height of the boat. And it was still building height.
Oh fucking hell and back…, he thought before shouting, “Everyone, look out!!”
Raine was the first to look, and needless to say, a look of shock immediately became her expression. However, she, nor anyone else were able to act before the next thing happened.
Without warning, the boat hit with enormous amounts of force, along with a strong surge of water sweeping through the deck at waist height. Everyone was literally thrown out of the boat and into the water, Hunter included. He his vision blurred greatly as he entered the water, he blinked a few times as everything cleared again as he found himself in the water. He looked around for the others. Raine was in pretty deep and was trying to go for the surface, Willow was trying to reach toward Maple, who appeared to be unconscious, and Indigo appeared to floating around rather nonchalantly.
Hunter looked up and decided to try to luck going for the surface. However, when he tried, he suddenly felt like something had caught his leg. He looked down at his leg, and could barely make out some like of black object wrapping around his ankle like a snake around a tree branch. He tried sliding it off with his free foot, then reached down and try to pull it off. Both attempts proved to be futile. He looked up to find himself to further from the surface water, and furiously thrashed upward. Try as he might, his efforts to resist getting tugged down to the surface did nothing. It wasn’t helping that he felt that the water was trying suck him in now. He looked around to find the others, but it had become so dark around him that he barely see anything. Then a rushed round of air started to escape his mouth a bit before he quickly covered his mouth with his hands.
Dammit, I need air, alarms ran off in his head as he tried to hold his breath a little longer. He then started to feel light headed.
No, it can’t … end like... this.
“Spike, are you sure it supposed to do that…??” a worried Rarity asked.
“Uhh…, I think…?” Spike replied.
In truth, he wasn’t exactly sure what was going on. When they first entered the underground cave, Rarity, to say the least, squealed like a little girl that saw their lifelong idol. It was all fine until the pool at the end of cave was acting up again. It was moderate at first, but when the group got a closer look, suddenly escalated in an instant. It was like someone started to set off a bunch of bombs underwater. Water was sloshing all over the place, and looked as if whole waves of it would jump out of the pool completely. This was clearly far fiercer than the first time Spike and Twilight witnessed it.
“You’re saying this happened before,” Rainbow asked inquisitively, “What’s making it do this?? Is there something under there making it do that?”
Spike shook his head, “I don’t know! Twilight said she didn’t find anything at the bottom of the lake. That, and the fact that it was a shallow lake! I’ve got nothing.”
To their surprise, it had begun to settle down before coming to a complete halt. It went back to its moderately tranquil state, as if what had occurred before was non-existent. The duo of ponies plus one baby dragon looked at the lake, unable to decide what to do.
Rainbow was the first to act, as she started to hover closer in. “Careful, Rainbow,” Spike cautioned her as he tried to follow up slowly.
“No biggie,” she tried to assure the other two, “it’s probably nothing. Freaky, yeah, but it’s totally fine.”
Rarity didn’t become any less worried, “Darling, I’m not so sure. Twilight was here last time, and they had to rescue a pony from drowning.”
Rainbow snorted, “What? Your saying that somepony else might pop up?” At this point she hover just over the edge of the lake, one hoof dangerously close to the water.
Without warning, a hoof shot out of the water and grabbed onto Rainbow’s hoof. “HOLY BUCK!” She sprung back in surprise, trying to shake off the grip, but couldn’t.
As she moved away from the lake, she also ended up dragging out a pony. One that appeared to sputtering water and gasping for air. Spike and Rarity ran to their side as the cyan pegasus managed finally shook what felt like a death grip off her fore hoof. As they gathered around, a closer inspection revealed it to be a blue tinted white unicorn stallion.
Spike shook him a bit as he lay on his side, “Hey! Are you alright?”
“Spike, I’m not sure that’s proper first aid,” Rarity spoke up.
“…thers…,” a voice spoke.
“Huh?” Rainbow got closer, “Speak up!”
The stallion, still unmoving and eyes completely shut, spoke with a strained voice, “…others… in … the water.”
“What!? Seriously!?” the rainbow maned pony prepared to dive into the pool, “Say no more, I’m going in!”
“Hold on Rainbow!” Rarity ran after her, apparently intending to do the same.
“Wait, girls… I… ugh!” Spike decided to follow suit as the other two dove into the water.
Spike, while he didn’t know what was going on right now, knew one thing: Twilight would have a fit about this once she gets wind of it.
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You've got a very good story going on here, one that I'm looking forward to progressing. The former human characters are good, though I have to admit their personalities are a little too cut and paste off of the mane six. Thankfully, they are more dilute than the originals, making the cut and paste thing more easy to overlook. I have nothing against the names, but I feel that they transitioned into pony names a little too well. A few of them like this would have been okay, but all of them? However, do not presume that this negative I see means I do not like the way this story is going. Your writing is great, though I noticed some minor errors here and there, but those are easy fixes and easy to ignore. I won't call the group's method of entry into Equestria cliché, as to be honest, I think every possible method of getting into the world has been done to death at this point, and I will give you credit for making it a little different this time around. Most of the times there are storms involved it's usually a lightning strike that sends the party involved dimension hopping, so kudos to you.
Another thing I liked about your story so far is the descriptiveness. You're giving the readers a great mental picture with the way you're describing the background. Although you could stand to be a little more detailed in places, that's just another minor detail. I've read and enjoyed far worse, so this is really good. Overall this story has a great plotline so far, has good grammar and spelling, and is very vivid to the mind's eye, pretty much everything that makes a good fic. You got yourself a like and fave, and I hope to see more soon.
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Thank you for the critique. I'll keep writing to the best of my ability. I'll be sure to show the characters to be unique in their own way in the coming chapters.