I walked through Ponyville as the sun began to set low beneath the clouds. The sky was a beautiful orange with only a few clouds in sky. The Pegasi really do a great job here. They make so much easier to plan events. In America, or as they call it here Amare, we always had to listen to some pony predict the weather using complicated machinery that never delivered anything close to what the weather actually was going to be, but here, with Pegasi being able to make it rain or stay sunny, life was fairly easy.
I've lived here for six months, and they've been killing me financially. They don't have any rules on changing currency here yet, so all of my dollar bills are worthless. Luckily, I've been able to find work at the local library that's also my home. The owner, Twilight Sparkle, is letting me live there too until I earn enough money for my own place. She's the closest friend I have here, and while I am friends with many other ponies and humans who live here, she's the only one who's helped me learn how to navigate the place and helped me adapt.
I walk into the library and set my bag on the floor. I don't really have anything in it other than my computer, an internet adapter, and a picture of my family. The computer is useless though. It died my first day here and they don't have electricity anywhere in Ponyville. It's too expensive right now so only big cities and the capital have them. Twilight said she would try to find a way to charge it so that way I could email my family and stay in touch. There aren't any mail services to my old home so letters aren't an option.
I arrived here before she did, so I figured I'd make us some dinner. I'm a terrible cook, but I'm learning. I make a salad for her and a sandwich for me, something easy that's not going to burn the entire library down if it catches fire. I'm still getting used to the no meat diet. I've tried vegetarian food before and it just tastes bland. At least to me. Many other's who've tried it here love it, but I'll stick to the real thing.
I heard some ponies talking outside the door and couldn't help but listen in. It's a bad trait of mine, and old habits die hard.
"I had a really nice time tonight." Twilight said.
"I did too. We really should do this more often." I heard a man's voice say. I assume it was her boyfriend Phil. He's a human like me and has his own respectable business. He's organized, responsible for what he has, but is also very pushy in what he believes in.
"I wish we could, but the Princess has me doing all sorts of reading projects for her that I rarely have time." she replies.
"You know you don't have to always do what she asks. I mean, you have your own life too." he told her.
"I know, but I can't fail her. She's the ruler here, and it's my duty to do as she asks as her student." she reminded him. He doesn't fully understand the culture here. He's very firm in his beliefs and has a hard time understanding different cultures.
"But you're no longer a kid. You're a grown adult who should be able to run her own life." he said.
"Just because one is an adult doesn't mean that they don't have responsibilities that need to be taken care of." she reminds him. "You better get going. You need to meet your assistant for that business meeting." she said.
"I guess so. Those responsibilities you were talking about suck." he said with a light chuckle. There was a brief pause before they said their good byes.
"Hey, Twi!" I said as she opened the door to the library.
"Hey, Brendan." she says with a sigh.
"You have a rough day?" I asked. I didn't care for Phil. There was something about him that rubbed me the wrong way. I didn't say anything because I didn't know him personally like Twilight did.
"No, just tired. Phil and I went to the local fair. He seemed distant today, but I also think it's because of his business meeting he has later tonight." she explained.
"What kind of business meeting?" I asked. I didn't trust this idea of a business meeting. He always was looking at other mares while he was with Twilight. I mean, looking is one thing, but staring is another. I don't say anything though since she's always happy when he's with her.
"Well, some pony got upset that the only human hospital Phil is in charge of messed up a pony's broken leg. They clearly stated they would help them, but only if they agreed not to sue if a complication arose from the procedure." she explained. Most of the hospitals here don't like the idea of having ponies and humans in the same hospital. Something about disease transmission between species they wanted to avoid. It didn't stop some hospitals helping those of the other race, but sometimes complications arose and they would be sued for it.
"Did something go wrong?" I asked.
"One of the surgeons forgot to do the routine cleaning procedures that they have to for ponies and a slight infection has arisen. It's not serious, in fact they've already gotten rid of it. But the patient is threatening to sue them for endangerment. And you know how sensitive some ponies still are about this whole thing." she said, referring to the human population increase in Equestria.
I shivered at the thought of the hospital. I've never been a big fan of them. The smell of the place always made me nauseous and brought on anxiety. It didn't help that I always heard these stories about procedures gone wrong that they built up on the phobia. "Well, one day they'll get over it." I said, bringing her the salad I made.
"You didn't have to make me something you know?" she said with a smile.
"True. But I know how much you hate the fair food, so I figured I'd make you something you do eat. Your favorite, tomatoes with lettuce, mushrooms and croutons." I said.
"How'd you remember that?" she asked.
"I've lived with you for almost five months now. It's hard not to remember." I said. Truth was I really didn't know how I remembered it. She's only eaten it four times since I've been here, at least that I know of, and it's only because it takes time to make. Time that she would rather have to study.
"Well...thank you Brendan. That was really nice of you." she said smiling to me.
"You're welcome." I said, smiling back. I took a bite out of my sandwich. "So, how's Celestia's assignments going?" I asked. I know I really shouldn't call her Celestia, but it's an old habit from my original home. We always called the President by his name, so I forget that I need to say it with formality here.
She doesn't correct me on it though. "The Princess hasn't given me anything yet since I learned the ten different spells of the ancient Garudde. It's strange some of the spells they had. Some of them brought on food that could be easily altered, others gave the perfect hairstyles, and some even kept the weather perfectly calm for weeks, sometimes months!" she explained.
"They sound rather sophisticated for being so primitive." I say.
"Well they were the largest and strongest civilization at the time. They were the most intelligent and they were the first to invent a form of written communication for our species."
"But didn't they die of starvation?" I pointed out, remembering back to the time that she was telling me all the 'interesting' facts about them.
"Well the spell they had that made food so easily alterable backfired when another civilization found a way to alter it into a hidden poison that damaged their genetic code, making all of their children unable to hold anything they ate. Not all of them starved, and some of them were able to get the correct genes that allowed them to eat, but they were like fodder to the others."
We talked for another hour about the Garudde and how we would've done things differently if we were them. We both agreed that having a spell to make food easily altered was stupid, but in hindsight everything makes sense.
Twilight looked at her clock and sighed. "I really wish Phil would talk like this with me. He always seems to be absorbed in either his work or something else in his mind. And when he isn't, he's always too feely and touchy. But I still care about him..." she trailed off.
"What is it?" I asked her, getting an uncomfortable feeling.
"Well..." she sighed. "You're human..."
"No I'm not, I'm an elephant!" I said, sticking my arm out like a trunk. She gave a light laugh as I made a fool of myself. "I'm sorry. that was stupid of me." I said smiling. "Continue."
"Well, I was wondering...how do you tell someone...that you may love them?" she asked, quietly.
My eyes widened. "Really? You love him?" I asked, trying not to show my disbelief.
"I don't know... maybe...." she stammers.
"Well....first let's see what makes you feel like that." I suggested. "Do you still get butterflies when you think about him?" I asked.
"Every now and then."
There really wasn't much to deduce there. "Would you protect him from something if you had to, even if it meant you would be hurt in the process?" I asked.
"Of course." she said calmly with a slight shrug.
Okay. Well that's a sign of love, but it's also Twilight. She would do that for anybody... I thought. "Okay. Now, I know this is a weird area to go to, because I know how you feel on this, but do you think you could possibly raise a family with him, pony or human?"
She hesitated before answering. "Y...yes." she said. Something about the way she said it made me question her answer, but I didn't push on it further. It was already awkward enough of me asking her if she would feel comfortable having kids with the guy.
I hated knowing that she loved him, because I didn't feel like he deserved her. But I hate seeing her upset or sad and I didn't want to tell her that I thought she was kidding herself. And to stop myself from saying something I'd regret, and also because I was way too uncomfortable, I stopped asking the questions here. "Okay. Then, from my own questions and what I believe to be love...I think you are in love with him." I said.
"So...what should I do?" she asked.
I thought about it. Knowing him he'd probably want to go someplace with smart and pretty people. He's vain and loves anything that looks pretty. It's why he's with Twilight. She's a mixture of both the things he loves most. Smart and pretty. "Well, you know him best. Take him someplace that he would be fascinated with. Someplace that shows you know him." I suggested.
"Do you think it will work? By doing this do you think it would be easier to tell him I loved him?"
"Well..." I stammered. I didn't know if this would work. I blew most of it out of my ass, just going off what I knew of him. "it's hard to say. One may find it easy to just say it over dinner while another may find it easier to say in a love letter. You should tell him in a way that's comfortable to you but also at a place he likes." I finished.
Twilight sighed. "Okay. I'll think about it over night." she said standing up from the table. "Thanks Brendan." she said smiling. "I'm going to get a little bit of studying done before I go to bed. For some reason whenever I start talking to you I can't stop."
I smiled as she walked up the stairs to her bed. I cleaned up the kitchen and walked to my room. I shared it with Spike, but since he's still so small, it wasn't hard for me to find a spot. I laid in bed and looked at the ceiling. I couldn't get the thought of Phil and Twilight in love out of my head. It bugged me for some reason and I wasn't sure as to why it did. I know I hated Phil, but he made Twilight happy and that's really all I cared about.
But he was so ignorant of her. He took her for granted and came to her when a problem needed to be solved. He didn't try to learn it on his own, and unless it was something with the medical field, he didn't care to help Twilight fix her problems. Sure he was nice when it was convenient for him, but he also blinded Twilight by how he twisted his words. Idiot should have become a lawyer instead of a doctor. I thought.
I shook my head. Stop thinking about it. You'll go mad trying to find something wrong with their relationship. If Twilight's happy, isn't that all that matters? I thought. I reluctantly put the thought to bed, and myself along with it.
Based on the positive ratings on your other stories I think Ill give this a read
“ In America, or as they call it here Amare,”
Instant head canon.
4744814 Thanks. I wanted to try a different type of story, so we'll see how this goes. I really don't know how it'll turn out. Hopefully it turns out all right.
hmmm im intriuged! for your reward you shall recive a moustache keep up the good work mate!
4745202 I shall now be known as, The Stache
Then why the fuck is he dating a Unicorn?! Also why would Twilight be dating this total prick of a guy?! You could argue that she's naive to love, but that's pretty weak in my opinion. Honestly, it doesn't add up until you consider the fact that Phil is less of a character right now and more of a plot device. If we get to know Phil more and understand his motives then maybe it'd be excusable, but as of right now we're only taking it on the word of Brendan that he's someone to be hated.
Oh come on! Even the audience can tell you're in love, you fucking idiot! Are you that emotionally detached from your own feelings or are you just dense!?
Who talks like this? Honestly who? At least, I can't think of anyone I know who would be that formal about it. And if he was meant to sound sarcastic when saying that it didn't come across to me at all.
It's funny how at some point in most HiE fics the story becomes a Gordon Ramsey cook show.
Anyway, yeah, I don't think I'll continue reading mostly because I can already see how this will play out.
Happy writing though!
4745779 lol it's my first HiE fic so I'm playing around with some aspects of it. Phil will become more of a character as this story goes on. And it wasn't supposed to be sarcastic, more just weird way of speaking. And I admit it is very very poorly worded. So I'll probably fix that slightly.
4745842
Yeah, sorry if I came off as a dick, but I feel like you have some decent potential and can write better than this. I would just say to think of the motivations behind a character's actions before writing them out so that they won't come off so flat. Good luck.
4745872 Lol you're fine. You didn't seem like a dick to me and this chapter was more of just a warm up to see how people would take it. I'm apprehensive about 90% of what I write, and this was one I've wanted to do but never really felt like I could do properly. So far it has good marks overall, minus the stuff you pointed out and a few mistakes I've noticed in future chapters, but it's all good. I definitely plan to look at all the chapters while writing this so I hit every motivation that I can. :)
.....Well atleast you're straight forward about it.
Will this ever be explained a bit? I understand that Twilight is a character with an already easy grasp personality and it makes sense financially and of course there's enough room in the tree house, but it just feels a tad bit lazy without something to help explain the beginning of their relationship.
Oh...So he has a job there to? Convenient.
Damn you, Phil!
How does he know? Is it a known fact or is MC just being a dick?
Mc is already sounding like a whiny little pansy.
This tells me a lot about MC.
Yes. Roll Credits.
Overall, the story isn't that bad, but boy does the MC get on my nerves. The dialogue was a bit awkward and I felt that the relationship that MC and Twilight had was more fabricated than it was legitimate. Even if the story isn't about their first few months together, it should still feel like they know each other.
Doesn't really read out that way. I'm just being told that it's this way. And I get that Phil is stereotypical bad BF but you're laying it on a little too thick. Don't make the other guy come off as so predictable. Remember OP, Phil is a character, not a plot device.
I'll give it a 5 out of 10.
4746016 Oh the story isn't done yet. I do plan on building Phil's character. A lot.
Please let her dump the phil and get with this guy. this is the first chapter and i already hate phil.
And Please keep going the story is starting to get good
Screw you, Phil. You're an asshole.
This is actually interesting. The main character isn't Twilight's boyfriend yet, it's Phil and that makes things interesting. I await more.
4746016 <-- this guy should be if not already part of cinema sin's
I hate the streyotypical "you humans cant eat meat, becasue.....because (dun dun duuuuuuun)
Also what's the main character's name? I think I missed it, he should have some Importance, you expect us to believe " im a no one, broke, and carrying a computer wich could weigh 5-15 lbs depending on year despite knowing the only place with electronic power source is the richest neighborhood's, and just meet and befriended the third or fourth most powerful mage in equis to the point of me moving in, something her boyfriend hasn't accomplished yet, also I "know" she can't have any fealing towards me depite her already knowlede of "human fetish" (some ponies don't want to be in the same hospital as human's?) And he is human yet referred humans from his world as "ponies", and lack of human population and didn't say "in equis" so something sketchy background story is creeping into my head, which say's by his words and how he says them it might get misanthropic before it's over, also remember the guy who died in "The Avengers" killed by loki piercing his chest with his spear, who also shot loki with that big guns before he died? His name was Phil. Couldn't you give him a more douchebag name like keith or jeff. I haven't meet a nice guy named jeff.
Also will there humans in other "lands"? I would like to hear of rebellious humans in the gryphon homeland: "you make fool some of us, but we know better, take away our clothes, our cars, but never our steak and chili cheese fries! Or our bacon, our meat lovers pizza, our shrimp scampis! NEVER SAY VEGEN, YES TO GREEN, BUT NOT ON GREENS ALONE!" Or changeling empire rebels "make love....before WAR"
Minotaur human rebels "eh! We look related!"
Goat human rebels "swedish men welcomed"-town slogan "baaa means no"
Im going off topic I know
Just my opinion on what you should add also ypu could (if not any of the others suggestions) make a human civil war:
«technology vs arcane knowledge»
.....we kinda already started one on this site.
5623779
Wow wall of text
8978257
*eating popcorn.*