The Failure

by sparklerthesableye

Chapter Four: Hilarity Ensues

'Derpy' hadn't been having a very good day.

She almost had to marry Coltdemort.*

Tom the Rock knocked a hive of wasps onto her head.*

Princess Trollestia 'accidentally' ran her over with a Tank.*

At least she had some mail to deliver to take her mind off of it."Last letter, Doctor Whooves. Isn't that the guy Tavi was talking about? This is going to be fun. Wait, need the address."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Doctor Whooves was madly in love with Derpy.

She was clumsy, and not exactly Twilight Sparkle when it came to brains, but he loved her just the same. That was why he was happy to see the wall-eyed mailmare walk in, even if it was just to give him mail. "Hello, Derpy. Got any mail for me?"

'Derpy' stood there, dumbfounded, for a minute while her brain took him in. Wow. This guy has a lot of love towards Derpy. He must, because I can't think of any other reason my heart would start pounding like this. Derpy unknowingly blushed.

"Umm... Derpy?" 'Derpy' shook her head like a wet dog.

"Oh! Um, here's your mail, Doctor." She handed him a letter. It was wrapped up fancily and smelled like perfume. Even 'Derpy' could tell it was a love letter. She got a stomachache. Uggh. This feeling hurts. I must be allergic to perfume. Yeah, that's it. Doctor Whooves smirked at the expression on 'Derpy's' face. At first she looked angry, then pained, then her face twisted up so much in a confusing jumble of emotions that she looked like a constipated Howler Monkey. He giggled a little, then opened the letter. His reactions were similar to those of Twilight, but instead of the tomato face at the end, he looked angry, sad, and betrayed. 'Derpy' materialized a carrot muffin. "Eh," she nibbled on the muffin. "What's up, doc?" He couldn't help but laugh a little a this.

"Nothing you need to worry about." Doctor Whooves looked at 'Derpy' and was a little weirded out. "Dear God, Derpy, have you shrunk?"

"Until I get really old, I don't think that that's possible."

"You just seem... smaller." 'Derpy' tilted her head in confusion, and quietly grunted in frustration.

Damnit, I got the size wrong! "Oh, that. I... lost... weight?" Doctor Whooves's laughed.

"Must be that constant diet of muffins. Speaking of which..." Doctor Whooves walked away for a few seconds, and then came back, with a basket of chocolate chip muffins.* 'Derpy' made an anime-style fangirl face.

"Oh my gosh! My favorite! How did you know?" Doctor Hooves handed her the basket. It had a pretty brown, grey, and yellow bow, which he had on there for symbolic reasons. As she dug in, he couldn't help but notice the strange way she was eating. More like a dog than a pegasus. It was... cute.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Twilight stared at Octavia. "The only beings I know of that can successfully disguise themselves as ponies would be changelings. Why would you want to know, Octavia?" Octavia's response unnerved Twilight a little, mostly because of her face.

"Because I know that that thing is not Derpy. It doesn't act like her, it doesn't know who Doctor Whooves is, and look at this!" Octavia showed Twilight the picture of normal-eyed 'Derpy' flying around gracefully. Twilight wondered whether to believe her or not.

"I may need more evidence. However, if you are right, then there are still changelings in Equestria. That could be potentially dangerous. Therefore, I shall take your completely insane theory into consideration for now. Just get more proof." Octavia saluted her.

"Ma'am, yes ma'am! I will do that now." Octavia walked to the door.

"And one other thing!" Octavia turned her head. "The best proof would be to find the real Derpy." Octavia grinned.

Then that's exactly what I'm going to do.

Author's Note:

*Three-fer one: all of these were actually things on birthday games, minus the actually marrying Voldemort part.
Will Octavia find the real Derpy and expose Thunder Strike? Is the real Derpy alive? All in due time.

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