The Failure

by sparklerthesableye

Chapter Two: Luna, MH3:U Champion

'Derpy' rushed over to Fluttershy's cottage, where the slumber party was being held. "Dang it! I'm going to be late!"

"Hello, Derpy Hooves. I hope you're excited about the party later," Octavia said, seemingly popping out of nowhere. "But, two things. You're two hours late, and Fluttershy's cottage is in the other direction. They sent me to find you." 'Derpy' shuffled her hooves sheepishly.

"Oh."

"Well come on! Luna wants to play video games. Discord and Daring Do also agreed to play them. Would you like to play her mystery game?" Octavia didn't really need to ask. She knew that Derpy would say-

"Yes!"

Wait, what?, Octavia thought. Usually, for more opportunities to raid the fridge, she says no. Something isn't right here... "Hmm... Okay... Let's go then." Octavia kept glancing at 'Derpy.' She knew something was wrong, but what? Uggh! Maybe someone at the party could be tricked into helping me figure this out. They continued walking for quite a while. "So... Derpy?"

"Hmm? Yeah?" 'Derpy' looked at Octavia (with her left eye).

"Just being nosy old me, but how is the relationship with Doctor Whooves going?" Octavia smirked. She knew it probably wouldn't do anything to tip her off of the 'Fence of Suspicions'*, but she actually was quite curious. From what she'd heard, Derpy had had a crush on him for ages, and Tavi just felt like bringing it up.

"Um... Who is Doctor Whooves again?" Octavia blinked. She was confused, and had a 'Welcome To Facebook'** expression. 'Derpy' was panicking, as she didn't want to get found out on the first day of the job. "Ohheylookwe'rehere!" 'Derpy' zoomed towards Fluttershy's cottage at a speed that even Rainbow Dash would envy.

"Now what the hay was that?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Nice you to finally join us. Care for some chocolate milk?", Fluttershy said in a slightly forced voice. Discord summoned a cotton candy cloud above 'Derpy's' head, and chocolate milk rain started coming out. 'Derpy' swiped Discord's wacky umbrella and started to collect the rain with it. She ate the cloud when she was done. Drinking from the umbrella, she sighed in happiness.

"Not as good as muffins, but still very good." Discord just stared in awe. She stole his umbrella, ate a (cotton candy) cloud, and drank chocolate milk rain from said umbrella.

"Um, guys? I'd appreciate it if you acknowledged my existence sometime soon"*** Octavia was leaning against the door frame, with a look that said she'd been there for a while. "Derpy, Applejack is making apple cider muffins. Like the donuts, but better. They come in regular and hard, though you of all ponies probably shouldn't have any hard ones."

"Yeah, hard ones aren't very good. Too hard to chew," 'Derpy innocently replied. Octavia facehoofed. "Ooooh! Now I get it."

"Derpy, you derp so hard sometimes," Octavia giggled.

"Hahaha, hard."

"Aren't you supposed to be baking muffins with AJ?"

"Oh, right. Later, gator!" Octavia frowned.

What is that mare up to? She had two major slip ups earlier. Derpy suddenly likes video games and completely forgot about who Doctor Whooves is. Not to mention, she just stole Discord's umbrella! Something is up. There's no denying it now. I just need some hard proof, so I can get Twilight involved. I just hope that I'm not wrong...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few hours later, 'Derpy', Discord, Luna, and Daring Do were sitting down on the couch, each with a plate of muffins with both kinds (except 'Derpy'), and a Nintendo 3DS with a 'Monster Hunter 3: Ultimate' cartridge in it. They were all in freehunt, and the one who managed to get the most resource points was the winner. Discord started to get a little angry. "Aggh! Stupid Purple Ludroth! Why do you have to go in the water?!" Everyone else giggled. "Oh, shut up!" Everyone laughed harder. "Finally, he dies. I give!"

"Yeah, me too. No big monsters left," 'Derpy' said.

"Done," said Daring Do. Everyone stared at Luna for the next five minutes.

"Done!" The others replied with hatred.

"Finally!" Discord had a look of pure hatred.

"Gee, do you really suck that bad?" Luna looked like she was about to cry at Daring Do's comment.

"Want a muffin?" Luna smiled and nodded. 'Derpy' handed her a fresh one from the new batch Applejack had just brought out. "Scoring time!"

"398," Discord said grumpily.

"732," Daring Do boasted.

"964," 'Derpy' exclaimed proudly.

"Huzzah! The score has been quintupled! 4820!" Everyone stared with open-mouth awe. "What?"

Author's Note:

*Just my name for that thing when you're like 'I don't know whether this is truth or not.' And you're like on the fence. And good, hard evidence for one side makes you fall off of the fence and be all 'Yes. This side is now my side. This is a thing.' I need to do that on my fence, fall into the neighbor's yard, and see the hilarity ensue.
**Abbreviated for your convenience.
***I know dat feels, bro (sis?).
You will love when Thunder Hooves(Derpy-TS mash-up [Derpy Strike isn't even one trillionth as epic]) meets the doctor for the first time. Yet, you will hate it to the highest level when Octavia gets her way. Grr... I hate myself for even thinking to put it here.
Luna's score. And how she said it. And the reaction. And the