And a claw comes down...
River was staring through the tiny opening that lead into the debate room. About five ponies were in there, discussing something. I couldn't hear exactly what they were saying, just floating voices. All of us were still in an old and crumbling Robot Unit planning room, at the end of the factory. River had climbed through the air vent. Soon, we all saw her little cyan muzzle poke out from the small opening in the wall. "They're just janitors. Nothing important. All of the executives must be somewhere else in the building." She wormed her way out. "Let's move."
As we turned down another series of hallways, Broken held close to my side. Going through the Robot Unit factory had really taken its tole on him. I just hope that he can survive what is to come. I hope that I can.
But as we were walking, I started to notice something. The sound of hooves, but not our own. And a voice...
"Stop!" I whispered as loudly as I dared. All the ponies stopped and looked at me strangely, but then, one by one, they noticed what I had heard. We all ducked into a large room on the side of the hallway. One pony closed the door, and locked it from the inside. I looked around. We were in a room filled with old computers, dead and beyond repair. Each corner was piled high with them. Each one had a moon and a sun insignia on it. I know that I have seen that somewhere before...
But I had not time to think, because the knob on the door started to turn.
"Bloody door!" A muffled voice of a pony with a strange accent came through the door. "Thing always locks." I heard the clanging of metal that sounded like the jingling of keys. A few ponies stepped forward, each holding knives and rope, and one even had a piece of cloth in his hoof.
The door opened, and before, he could react, the earth pony wearing a uniform with the government insignia on it was bound, tied, blind folded by the piece of cloth, and had knives pointed at his face. His muffled screams were barley audible by the rope that somepony had bound on his mouth. River stepped forward and shut the door, and the pony Boxy stepped forward and got near the pony's face.
"We were never here, got it?" He said in the pony's ear. "You never saw us. Never heard us. Right?" I could see sweat forming on the pony's forehead. He was shaking. But he nodded. "Good." Boxy turned around to face us. "I'm gonna need a few ponies to stay behind and keep watch on him. Any volunteers?" A few hooves shot up in the air. "Good. Move out!"
And then we continued to sneak about the area.
**********************
What must be going on in that pony's head right now? How scared is he? Does he know who we are? The revolution?
What are those ponies that stayed back there doing to him? Threatening him with knives? Or just letting him sit there, his mind racing with all the horrible things that we could do to him?
But I shouldn't worry myself about it. I am, after all, a part of the revolution. I am trying to take down ponies like him. But should he really have to feel so scared?
Yes. Because of what they do to other ponies just like him everyday. And not only that, but his uniform read 'computer specialist'. He must help with programming this entire building. Programming Robot Units. He must know what they do to families. And he did nothing.
No. That's not right. He still shouldn't have to feel so scared.
We soon came into a dark room. It was very large, and computer monitors covered every wall. Chairs sat at desks with papers spread out on them. Some monitors flickered on and off. So did the lights from above, and gave the room a ghostly feel to it. Stairs went down to another level in one corner of the room, and the door that led to it was held ajar. River looked around, confused.
"I, I don't understand," She said. "Ire was supposed to meet us right here..." She looked back to the crowd. "Armored Fire?" She called out. Soon, the young purple earth pony was stumbling through the sea of ponies in order to get to River.
"What is it?" She asked.
"Check on your ear piece to see if Ire is still there."
Armored Fire put one hoof to the piece. "Ire?" She talked into it. No response. "Ire? Ire, do you copy?" Still nothing. Armored Fire removed the ear piece and looked up at River. "He's not responding. I think he's... gone." A couple of ponies gasped. River stomped her foot.
"Then he must have been captured. The government must know that we are here. And who knows what horrible things they might be doing to him?"
"You are right. We do know you are here." A mare's voice boomed throughout the room.
"Oh no." River whispered.
"And let's just say..." The voice said again. "That Ire will not be with us anymore."
"What did you do to him you horse manured pony!?" One mare called out from the crowd.
"Don't talk to the leader of Equestria that way, little pony. Or I will kill you all."
That's when I grew really angry. "If you lay a hoof on any of these ponies," I shouted out. "Then I will shoot you down!"
There was a pause. Then, a chuckle. Soon, that chuckle turned into laughter. "This is too funny! Star Dusk? Is that you?"
I took a step back. "How do you know my real name?!" I shouted back at her.
"Because all scientists need to know the name of their experiments, 456770." She called me by my Robot Unit name. I was ready to explode. "Hmm... your voice modifier has obviously failed. Also, I can see that you have recovered some of your memories. Very interesting. Some pony, write this down."
"Don't you dare hurt these ponies!" I shouted at her.
"Why are you with the revolution?" She asked back, ignoring my outburst.
"Because I want to make you pay for every cruel thing that you have done to your own citizens."
"What do you mean? Equestria is at peace. I don't know why this silly revolution was even started."
Is she really that blind?
"Are you kidding me?" River shouted. "My family was blown to bits because of your Robot Units!"
"My father killed himself because of you!" Blossom Wing shouted out.
"My little brother has brain damage because of being to close to an explosion set off by one of your Robot Units!" One pony shouted.
"I haven't seen my mother in years since you arrested her!"
"I am blind in one eye because of not having my identification card with me!"
"You want to talk about peace?" I shouted. "Look all around. Take off the blinds and look. You are a murderer."
There was a pause. Then, she spoke. "Very well, then. I see how it is." A click sounded from above. I looked up and saw a large hatch open on the ceiling. "If you won't follow us," A claw came down from it. "If you don't obey our rules, then I have no choice, Star Dusk." The claw came down closer. I realized what she was doing. But I didn't have time to run. The claw grabbed me, and pulled me up into the air. The ponies around me gasped. Another click sounded, and a hatch opened up in the wall. "I have no choice but to get rid of the failed experiment." And then I was thrown down the hatch.
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Well, that just happened!
An antagonist has appeared!
4623236 Dun Dun dun....
Actually...
There IS an antagonist throughout the whole book. Antagonists are not just material forms, they can even be a character's sub conscious. For instance: Broken's battle in his mind about who he really is, his struggle to actually be himself. And Blossom and Tornado's struggle of friendship. Sometimes, the best antagonists are invisible. And some aren't even actually in the characters themselves. Like the government. That has been an antagonist the whole time. So the antagonist has not just appeared, it has always been there.
Well, I guess Broken hasn't heared of the "well-intentioned extremist" trope then...
4623265 Nice. I like it.
4623246 An antagonist is a character. (Or characters.) Those are just conflicts.
I doubt you meant either physiological sense.
4623385 Oh yeah, the government was actually an antagonist on your list.
4623394 Actually, on your comment before you said 1 : one that contends with or opposes another : adversary, opponent And so that opponent going on in their minds would be themselves. Man vs self, or in this case, pony vs self. Their own selves are causing them trouble, forwarding the story, and even giving development, which is what antagonists sometimes do.
He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper.
-Edmund Burke
4623412 In that case, they would be their own antagonist.
I wrote that comment with that in mind, actually... .
However, neither of the given examples seem to fit that, although Broken's is closer.
4623437 Not only that, but Blossom's conflict within herself at the beginning about being with a Robot Unit. Now, it is her conflict about her fears about being a part of the revolution. Blossom is actually a kind of scardey pony like Fluttershy and, just like in the show, is taking baby steps with her subconscious about what to do when faced with those fears. Not only with her friends, but the world around her.
4623451 She hasn't shown much fear of the revolution, only its members (who are lower tier well intentioned extremists, judging by what I've seen of them).
It's still more of a conflict, because there isn't an opposing force, not even herself.
If I couldn't decide whether to favorite a fic or not, would you call myself my own antagonist?
4623471 Why yes, that would be true. A conflict within one's self is an antagonistic relationship. Like me. Deciding whether to even write this story or not. And yes, Blossom is afraid. Of dying from being in the revolution.
4623478 Ok, I give up.
I can't change your view and I'm fine with that.
4623482 No, I can be swayed. Anyone can be swayed by hearing the argument from someone else. You think that my view hasn't changed, but actually, it has. The way a story can be developed, young author or not, does depend on the antagonist, and that antagonist is usually a character. Perhaps I haven't had enough of those in my story so far. But I am always willing to learn, and I thank you for that. I hope to use some of your views in the second book.
It's just that sometimes I can get sucked into things. In eighth grade, I was really good at persuasive writing. It just flows. Sorry!