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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Ok, the design for this story feels off from the description and what I would expect. Based on the description I figured the focus would be on the present day with an attempt to help him regain his memories as well as preventing the war from either happening or destroying Equestria. So far we have focused heavily on the past, to the point that I'm wondering why all the energy is going here when you are going to make it worthless by wiping his memories. The story is also suffering from lack of a real conflict tbh. If this was slated as a slice of life fic, this would work with the little vignettes into Celestia's life. Heck, this could work as a straight romance of just using the past. The problem arises when you finally get to the present. You are over halfway through the standard length of a novel and haven't gotten to the central conflict (or at least the one I see from the description).
Although it would have required some finesse and skill, the way I might have structured this was to focus on the present with flashbacks and parallel vignettes to the past. This allows the past to parallel the present without suffering from the big issue of wasting the reader's time by wiping away everything but building the situation up for Celestia. If you planned on him regaining his memories instead of just having to make new ones, then my idea for the structure of the story works even better. An example for a look at a way of structuring a parallel of the past and present is the story This Magic Moment. The story is well structured and builds the past while also dealing with the present. They don't parallel but allows one to see the two characters from different points in their relationship.
Part of my structure is the reticence I keep from the removal of memories and making what my reader read pointless. If the scenes only matter to one character, why do I need to know what happened in detail before it all happens? Why do I need to sit through the exact same types of scenes to develop the romance a second time because of the removed memories? If you plan on quickly fixing the removed memories with a spell, why remove them in the first place?
I guess my real question right now is: what is supposed to be the focus of the story and plot because currently I see a conflict between the description and the story as written?