On the Trials of Traingoing and the Presumption of Princes
“Careful with that, please!”
The two earth ponies straining under the weight of her ‘mobile’ dressmaking contraption (It still lacked a name) returned her perfectly reasonable demand with dirty glares. Well, they certainly aren’t getting a tip. Rarity stood on the train platform, garbed in a very appropriate manner: a frilly gown in blue, purple, grey and black, all the colours of the night. It even had a matching sun umbrella, enchanted to emulate the night wherever it cast a shadow. It certainly kept Rarity cool in the unusually hot morning sun.
Yesterday had certainly been an adventure. Rarity had never imagined that the trip would become so exciting and dramatic before they even left Canterlot, let alone Equestria. She could scarcely believe the tangled web of courtly politics she had been dragged into. Blueblood, Fancypants, Fair Wind, Princess Luna. They all had their own lofty goals and motivations, and it made her humble goal of designing perfect dresses seem a little less important.
Rarity pushed the traitorous thought out of her mind. Dressmaking was all about making the world a better, more beautiful place. In a way, wasn’t that what everypony was trying to do? Besides, looking good was important enough on its own.
Rarity looked over to Applejack, standing a little further down the platform, keeping a close eye on her precious produce. The barrels the apples were stored in would keep them cool and fresh almost indefinitely, provided the seal on the cases remained unbroken. The magic that aided earth ponies in their farming extended to transportation as well, so long as the cargo was well secured. The enchantment on the barrels was quite sturdy, but it wasn’t unheard of for a case of fruit to be packaged fresh but arrived spoiled and rotten due to somepony clumsily dropping a container.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash had arrived at Twilight’s tower shortly after Luna’s departure, and Rarity had been eager to share the Princess’ words with anypony. Unfortunately, both mares had gone far past tipsy and straight into smashed. Cries of ‘Woona who?’ and ‘Yer right, Rarity, a pillow fight would be a goo-GREAT idea,’ quickly informed Rarity that discussion of the night’s revelations should wait until morning.
When the light of dawn pouring through the huge window awakened Rarity, she did her best to relay the events of the past evening while freshening up for the day ahead. All of her friends had been surprised at Luna dropping by, and that surprise turned into alarm when Rarity did a very good impression of the regal sister’s outrage at the nobility. But nothing threw the group more than Rarity’s claim of a Princess pillow fight.
“You did what?” Twilight had cried.
“Honestly dear, you shouldn’t be surprised. The only information I had on Luna was what you told me after Nightmare Night. You said she had been taken with the idea of frightful pranks, and when she revealed that her little ‘doom and gloom’ tirade had been rather less than truthful, I did what I would've done if it had been any of you.”
Applejack had been doubtful. “Your first instinct would’ve been to hit any of us with a pillow?”
“Well, dear, this is a sleepover.”
Then, after Twilight had apologized for being an utter maniac, in her own words, the six collected their things and had left for the station. Rarity made sure she would be leaving Equestria looking her best; after all, she’d be gone for months and wanted to be remembered fondly. They had been the first to arrive, Twilight scampering off to handle to details at the station office, and since their luggage was already at the station, it seemed prudent to begin loading it on. So now Rarity found herself fretting over her gear as Applejack kept a close eye on her crop.
A familiar snort turned her attention skyward. Fair Wind was hovering above the idle train, clad in nothing but his brick-red coat. “Look at these layabouts, Rarity! They load trains slower than my wife’s libido!” Rarity shut her eyes at the image his comment created. He alighted down onto the platform. “I remember when I was barely a stallion, I could hardly lift myself off the ground, let alone the heavy cargo it was my duty to transport. Did that stop me? No! And I’m a weak little pegasus, not a strong, tough earth pony.” He gave another snort of dismissal. “This is nothing, colts.”
One of the baggage handlers spat at the ground and ignored him, while the other shot Fair Wind an angry glare and picked up his pace. The pegasus favoured the latter with an easy grin. “That’s what I like to see! Prove this bag of hot air wrong!”
He shifted his focus from the loaders to the train itself. “What a disaster! One of the oldest designs from the scrap yards, this ‘beaut.’ Arcano-generators straight from the finest minds of Canterlot, but fifty years late, looks like!” He shook his head, mane catching in the breeze. “What are these? Passenger cars? Maybe for termites. They might have been built for long journeys and comfortable living, but all you’re getting out of this is a dry tinderbox. A stiff wind could blow this thing down, and I know my breezes! At least the steels boxcars look decent, and the caboose is painted right.” He knelt down next to the wheels of the train and gave a great sniff, followed by a monstrous sigh. “Sad. Just sad.”
“Fair Wind,” Rarity said, catching his attention. “A pleasure to see you again, but I had expected you earlier, in the lounge.”
“Oh, yes, right!” He cleared his throat. “I was waylaid by a business opportunity I couldn’t ignore. You know how it is.”
“Indeed. Regardless, you missed quite the event. And I think you would’ve done rather well in Pinkie Pie’s drinking game.”
Fair Wind arched an eyebrow. “Pinkie Pie?”
“Goodness!” Rarity exclaimed, eyes open wide. “You still haven’t met the rest of the group yet!” She stamped a hoof to the stone platform. “This simply cannot stand! Follow me, I’ll introduce you.”
Gracefully trotting over to the four of her friends not supervising loading, Rarity heard the clip-clop of Fair Wind’s hooves behind her. “Hello, girls! I have somepony for you all to meet. Fair Wind, of Ironhoof Rails.”
“Chief Operating Officer, and majority stakeholder. Old Ironhoof knew a thing or two about a pony’s character, and left me all his shares in his will. Sometimes I think he’s laughing at me from his grave.”
Twilight just gave him a polite nod, as the two had already met. Fluttershy, coy as ever, shied away from the stallion, putting a pony between her and the newcomer. Rainbow Dash just mumbled a hungover greeting and acted the dutiful shield for Fluttershy.
Pinkie Pie let out a gasp. “Oh, wow! A pony I haven’t met before! It’s not every day I meet one of those!” She shook his hoof vigorously, then zipped around the stout flier, asking him whatever came to mind. “Why is your name Fair Wind? You aren’t fair at all, you really mostly red! You should be called Red Wind, or Rusty Breeze! Is your cutie mark a ship filled with boxes? Mine’s three balloons! My special talent is making ponies laugh, is your putting them in boxes? I don’t think I’d like to be put in a box. Oh! Unless it was a present! Then I’d be a gift to somepony! I hope I’d end up in a good home! Do you have a good home? Why would you leave such a fantastic home? Are you coming with us?”
Pinkie took a breath, and Rarity jumped into the gap in Pinkie’s stream of consciousness. “Fair Wind is helping finance this expedition, and he’s loaning us the use of his train on the other side of the Crossing, but he’s a very important pony and won’t be able to join us.”
A smiling pink face turned into a frowning pink face. “Aww, but I just met you!”
“Actually, Rarity, I’ll be accompanying you, at least through Cervidas.” Fair Wind gave her an apologetic grin.
“Oh!” Thin eyebrows disappeared under an indigo mane. “What has changed? You didn’t strike me the time to enjoy gallivanting about when there’s work to be done.”
He nodded, agreeing with her. “I’m not. But I came to the realization that I have no idea what goes on across the sea. I know the routes and rails of Equestria like the tips of my wings, but I’ve got a train over there, and the dream of two more, yet haven’t ever stepped hoof on Cevidasian soil.
“How is Ironhoof going to serve its clients and customers well when its Chief Operating Officer has no idea what the situation is out on the rails? This little trip of ours is the perfect excuse.”
“And you don’t just want to be at the tomb when we get there before the nobles do?” Twilight offered.
Fair Wind tilted his head. “What?”
“It’s no surprise he hasn’t heard, Twilight. Luna didn’t exactly make the morning news.”
Now Fair Wind was getting perturbed. “What does Luna have to do with any of this?”
To Rarity’s great surprise, Fluttershy spoke up. “Um, actually Rarity, Luna did make the morning news.” She rummaged through her saddlebags and pulled out a newspaper. Rarity grabbed it in her telekinetic field and held it open for the group to see.
“‘Princess Luna Freezes Noble’s Assets’” Rarity read the headline aloud. “‘Lords and ladies of the archduchies of Equestria forced into adventure.’’”
Instead of the booming, mocking laugh she expected from Fair Wind, he just smiled softly and shook his head. Maybe he’s not a morning pony?
Quickly reading the rest of the article, Rarity discovered that it contained little she didn’t already know. Luna had decided, it seemed, that Equestria should know about her little scheme to allow the nobles to show that their position of power was still merited. It did list the names of those she assumed were the other ponies with Prince Blueblood: Lady Ravencrest, Lord Silverstone, Lady Everblossom, and Lady Beachcomber. All, Rarity learned, were the undisputed rulers of their respective territories, aside from the Princesses, of course.
A distant shout distracted her from the article. She did her best to ignore it. What else is in here? Luna had apparently given the nobles only a few minutes to gather whatever wealth they could find in their personal homes to finance their parallel and competing journey, calling it “As fair as they have been to Equestria in the recent past.” There was also a bit about both Princesses seeing off the competitors from Canterlot. Hmm, that’s odd. Having the most powerful ponies in the realm together should draw out the media like moths to a gorgeous wool sweater.
There was that shouting again, this time accompanied by a low rumble. Rarity pricked her ears up. “Get on the train!” Dusty Ruin’s voice was faint but unmistakably harried. The grumbling grew louder.
“I’ve heard this before,” said Twilight, backing towards the train. Rarity spied Applejack, who had a clear view of the road behind the corner of the building that blocked Rarity’s sight, heave the last two barrels of apples onto her back and leap onto the freight car. The door slid shut behind her.
“It...” Fluttershy’s voice was quiet and nearly indistinguishable from the rumbling vibrations that filled the air. “It's a stampede!” She darted towards the train as Dusty Ruin appeared from around the corner.
“Get on the train!” he bellowed. Rarity barely had to to gulp in fear before the massive wave of ponies behind him crashed onto the platform. She didn’t waste another moment, and galloped as hard as she could towards the door to a passenger cab. It wasn’t far, but her movements were hampered by her dress, a form-fitting number done in the Neighponese cocktail style. She was debating whether or not being trampled was worth intentionally ripping one of her favoured creations, when strong hooves closed around her and lifted her into the air.
“I gotcha!” Fair Wind held her tightly as he pumped his powerful wings. He certainly lacks the speed of Rainbow Dash, but he’s no slouch at moving cargo, thought Rarity as she thanked him profusely. “No problem, Rarity. It would be a flying shame to lose a pony like yourself to a crowd like that.”
Fair Wind glided through the open door and set her gently on the floor. The rest of the group was already inside, with the exception of Dusty Ruin. Rarity desperately hoped the elderly unicorn would make it to the train before the crowd caught up to him, but he was already starting to slow. “He’ll never make it!” she cried.
Pinkie stuck out a hoof, pointing towards the sky. There, a winged silhouette lazily descended from the sky, the morning sun burning brightly behind it. The figure turned out to be Briskwind, a placid look of annoyance on his face. His dive brought him to Dusty Ruin a moment before he was engulfed by the crowd, and he grabbed the archaeologist by his rear leg with a wicked talon. With the other, he beat back the approaching crowd, bashing heads together with vicious slaps and backtalons. He took to the air a second before he would of been hopelessly swarmed, kicked a pegasus that flew too close, and turned towards the locomotive.
Dusty Ruin hanging upside down beneath him, Briskwind effortlessly pumped his wings and shot into the train. Unceremoniously dropping Dusty like a sack of oats, his claws and paws dug into the floor of the train as he skidded to a stop. “Damn reporters,” he growled. “They never listen to ‘no interviews.’” He looked over to the engine, one car down. “I'll hold the engine room down. The rest of you seal the doors.” He screeched something in the language of griffons, likely a swear. “I didn’t think I’d need to save you from ponies, doctor.”
Twilight instantly took charge. “Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, get to the caboose and secure the car.” The two ponies nodded, then rushed down the train. “Rarity, help Applejack close the doors on the cargo containers. If you can’t, pile up some study luggage and create a barricade for any doors that can’t be locked.” Rarity turned and followed her two friends down the length of the train. “Rainbow Dash, wake up! I don’t care how hungover you feel!” Twilight’s commands became impossible to hear as the crowd drew closer. Shouts and yells of “Sir, what can you tell us about the priceless artifacts of the ancient tomb you’ll be looting?” and “What do you think of Luna’s plan? Are you angry at being used, or insulted she didn’t ask first?” pierced the solid walls of the train.
Seconds later, Rarity arrived in the first cargo car. This compartment was dedicated solely to Applejack’s harvest, and the mare herself was frantically sliding the heavy locking bolts into place along the wall. The farmer looked up at the sound of Rarity’s hooves hitting the metal floor, faintly audible over the low rumble outside. “Rarity! Get to the next car! I don’t think those stationhooves are ready for this!”
“Alright!” Rarity didn’t slow, leaping over a hastily-stacked pile of barrels that blocked her path. She winced as she heard her dress rip. We should keep the centre route clear, she thought. Probably best to save the organization for later, though. Within moments, she entered the next car.
One of the earth ponies that worked the loading dock was braced against the far wall, desperately trying to shove the slightly ajar door closed. His partner was at the gap between the door and the wall, beating back the crowd of information-starved journalists. “Get back! Back I say!” He swatted at the crowd with one of Rarity’s hard-cased containers. The push of the crowd had forced many of the newsponies into the gap, and their bodies prevented the door from closing.
"Sir! What can you tell us about the ponies on the expedition?"
"Care to comment on the what this could mean to the merchant class' feud with the nobles?"
“No interviews!” he snarled in response, clubbing a newspony in the face.
The rhythmic banging of hooves against the metal exterior was deafening, and the loud, mysterious, explosions coming from the caboose certainly didn’t help. Rarity felt like she was trapped inside a drum. “What do I do?” She yelled out, trying to be heard over the din.
“Lock the other door!” The pony armed with her luggage called out as he mightily swug the case holding half of her rare gem collection. “I’ll hold them here!”
The other door? But wh- Rarity’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of hooves on the roof. Either paparazzi pegasi had landed on the train, or the crowd had become so dense they were piling up on one another, creating a pony ramp. If she didn’t lock that door, they’d pour in from two sides, surely dooming them all to endless rounds of interviews.
The door was closed, but completely unsecured. A quick once-over revealed that the locks were a simple deadbolt design, built onto the door, with cavities in the floor and ceiling of the actual boxcar for the bolts to rest in. If Rarity was a different unicorn, it would have been possible to lock them all at once. Unfortunately, her talents had little to do with locking things.
Rarity had barely closed three deadbolts, two on the top and one on the bottom, when the door strained against the locks. Suddenly, it wasn’t quite as simple as sliding the bolts into place. The press of the crowd caused the door to flex inward, just enough for the bolts to rub harshly against the metal holes built to contain them. She forced all of her strength into moving a thick bolt a few centimetres. A few seconds later, it was done, but she was panting in exertion, nearly drained of energy. There’s no way I can close another eight locks, she thought, looking down the door’s edge. Especially if half of them are almost rusted shut!
The crowd’s chanting outside grew more fervent. “Exclusive! Exclusive! Daily Scoop! Daily Scoop!” The crowd in the street yesterday had been agitated. This one felt possessed! Their individual cries were soon drowned out by collectively created ghastly moan.
THINK, Rarity! What do you have tha-of course! Rarity raced over to her stack of bags, and began to dig through the pile, looking for one in particular. “Lady, what the hay are you doing! Lock that Tartarus-damned door!” She ignored the baggage stallion. Finally!
With a simple push of a button, the suitcase she had been searching for opened with a soft pop. Inside was the various spare parts and gizmos needed to repair and maintain her sewing machine, her chic mane-matching tool satchel, and an oilcan filled with the lubricating liquid. “Wha ha ha!” Rarity cried, hastily grabbing her hammer and can of oil, and raced back to the door. Rapidly squirting the oil over the rusted metal, she focused her magic and imagined the beautiful, strong, gorgeous locks that the rusted mess once was. After a second of pouring energy into them, the locks were glistening, and looked to all the world that they had just come off the factory floor. All but the strongest of transformative magic was temporary, but Rarity didn’t need the locks new for long.
“Fabulous!” Rarity used her hammer to easily knock the bolts into place, and breathed a little easier. She turned towards the other door, confident her side would hold. “Gentlestallions?”
What little she had managed to collect of herself spilled out onto the floor of the train. Her case of gems lay discarded, as the stationhoof that was previously wielding it had vanished. The other luggage-loader had taken his place, but had armed himself with a metal rake, no doubt acquired from somewhere behind Rarity’s things. She quickly ran to his side and fortified herself with her case, hoping she’d have more luck bashing reporters with it than the pony who had brandished it previously.
“Where’s your friend?” asked Rarity as she carefully defended the train from the swarming mass of journalists. To her alarm, the ponies were packed so tightly that she could spot more than one being lifted off the ground by the press of the crowd. She feared for the continued safety of those she brained unconscious.
“Out there,” replied the stallion, mumbling around the handle of the rake. “He-” A pegasus buzzing by was raked by the sharp bristles of the tool, tearing out feathers and sending him spiraling into the crowd. “Has only Celestia to protect-” A journalist,shoved forward by the crowd, received the blunt end of the stick to the face as he opened his mouth. “Him now.”
May his memory stay with us forever. Rarity, however, knew she could ill afford a moment of remembrance for her fallen protector. The pink bag jammed into the corner, preventing the door from opening wider than the metre open already, was beginning to crack and splinter. She doubted her magical ability could prevail over a score or more of ponies trying to drag the door open.
Rarity tuned out the cries for interviews from the writhing mass of ponies before her, and tried to think of some sort of solution. The various luggage containers could be moved to form a barricade, but considering that the crowd outside was shoving open a massive metal door...
Swinging her ‘weapon’ at a unicorn trying to clamber forward, she yelled to be heard over the crowd. “We must withdraw! We cannot hold the door! To the caboose!” Rarity would've preferred, for her own safety, to move to Applejack’s car, but she would damn herself to Tartarus before abandoning Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy to be overwhelmed from all sides.
“Right!” shouted her comrade, as he raked the hat right off a pony. The crowd was slowly surging forward, as more and more journalists lost their sense of self-preservation to their lust for a juicy story. “On the count of three, we break for the door!”
“Right!” Rarity gave a firm nod.
“One!”
“Two!”
“Um.. Rarity?”
Fluttershy’s unexpected voice startled Rarity into a little hop. She swung her case at the ponies who tried to take advantage of her momentary distraction, and spared a glance over her shoulder. “Fluttershy? What are you doing here?”
The yellow pegasus gave an apprehensive glance towards the cajoling crowd outside.. “Pinkie told me to get some more ammunition. The party cannon’s running low.” Fluttershy walked over to the messy pile of Pinkie’s overstuffed suitcases. “Pinkie Pie said she’s never seen a party shortage as severe as this, judging from the way the crowd is so eager to see her cannon!” A small sigh escaped her. “I just wish it wasn’t so loud.” Fluttershy bent down and bit the handle of a suitcase and headed back towards the caboose.
Rarity was nearly dragged out of the train by the ravenous crowd before she regained her composure. “I suppose Pinkie must be having the time of her life right about then?”
“You sound worried, Rarity. Don’t be!” Fluttershy gave a cheerful smile around the handle in her mouth. “Pinkie Pie said that these ponies are more interested in ‘outdoing each other than doing us.’” A faint blush coloured her cheeks, showing clearly on her light coat. “She tossed them a list of her party supplies, to see if some information would calm them down. Now they’re all fighting over it! Something about ‘primary documents.’” She gave a sad shake of her head. “Someponies just don’t know how to share.”
“Forgive my interruption, ladies, but can you hurry the hay up, please?”
“Oh!” Fluttershy turned beet red at the sound of stationhoof’s voice, and darted back into the caboose. Rarity barely heard a “Aww, yeah, Fluttershy! Ammunition! Lets party, Pinkie Pie style!” before the booming roar of cannon fire drowned her out.
A plan fashioned itself in Rarity’s mind. “Hold the door! I’ve got an idea!” Ignoring the shout of protest the baggage handler gave, she spun and turned back to her gear. Rarity was quite glad she had organized her things so well, as finding her bag of literature and writing took her only a few precious seconds. She ripped the clasps open, pulled out a blank paper and as many pens as she could, and frantically began to write. Writing with more than one pen quickly turned the paper into an inky mess, but proper calligraphy wasn’t exactly high on her list of priorities at the moment. What mattered now was speed.
It took Rarity perhaps seven seconds to scrawl out what she needed, but in that time the situation had become dire. There were four ponies already in the car, and six more had at least a hoof on the floor, ready to climb in. Her harried companion had been backed into the corner with the splintering piece of luggage preventing the door from opening fully, swatting at the ponies nearest to him. Rarity cleared her throat, unafraid.
“Excuse me, fair members of the press.” Every eye in the train car turned towards her. “This,” Rarity said, holding up the hastily scribbled paper, “Is a written statement, containing details of my conversations with both Archduke Blueblood and Princess Luna, as well as brief personal profiles of the ponies who will be travelling with me.” That was all lies, of course. Rarity was surprised to see she had managed to sign her name legibly at all, and the rest of the paper was gobbledygook nonsense. The journalist closest to her licked his lips, eyes unnaturally bright. Rarity used her telekinesis to carefully fold the paper into an airplane and tossed it over the heads of the ponies in front of her and out the door. “Have at it.”
The newsponies aboard the train leapt after it, screaming “Public Statement!” at the top of their lungs. Rarity happily noticed the crowd instantly turned on itself, ponies ruthlessly attacking each other to get at the precious scrap of paper. She saw a pegasus snatch it out of the mouth of an earth pony, only to drop it moments later once she was swarmed by other fliers.
The stallion dropped the broom in his mouth and trotted over to Rarity, watching the chaos outside. “Damn. I never thought...” he trailed off. Rarity had to agree. It was hard to put what she was seeing into words. The only similar experience she had to compare it to was Twilight’s ill-fated use of the Want-it-Need-it spell, but that was powerful sorcery. There was no magic here.
“This isn’t worth the paycheck I’ll be getting at the end of the day. We should shut the door, while they’re busy.” said the stallion, abruptly.
“Yes. We should.” It was hard to look away from the rabid crowd though. There was something beautiful, almost artistic, about the savagery on display. Rarity helped move and lock the door into place, then fell back onto one of her softer containers. “What a travesty! Now my hair is a mess, my dress is ruined, my luggage is dented, I’m trapped on a train with no conductor, and worst of all, the Princesses are going to see me looking like a wreck!”
“You don’t think they’ll pay a bit more attention to the mob outside than to how you look?”
“They’re goddesses, they have eyes for details! Of course they’ll notice!” Rarity began to fret about at the rip in her dress. “Do you think I could touch it up with magic? Or would the magical signature give it away? I could fix my hair with magic too, that’s not uncommon. Would that hide the fix on the rip? Oh, Celestia, I need a mirror! How dirty am I? I feel dirty. How am I going to present myself to the Princesses looking like this?” She could feel the dust of the train marring her beautiful figure.
Shaking his head, the stationhoof turned towards the caboose. “I’ll leave you to the important job of prettifying yourself while I go do the trivial task of securing the train. Mares.”
Rarity ignored the sarcasm, having heard similar responses hundreds of times before. She had faith in her friends. She didn’t have faith in her appearance, and the world could judge you only by what you presented to it. So while the pounding of the party cannon shook the train, Rarity opened up her vanity bag, retrieved the mirror, and did her best to spruce herself up, obsessed mob be damned.
Two minutes and a once-over of her coat later, Rarity almost felt at home in her own skin again. The barely heard shouts of “cover me!” and “why on Equestria did you pack hammers, nails, and wooden planks?” had snuck out of the caboose between the blasts of Pinkie’s partillery, but now all she heard from the other car was heavy breathing.
“Fluttershy? Pinkie? Everything all right in there?” Rarity called out as she tried to remove a stubborn knot from her mane. Honestly, I groomed myself this morning. Pinkie had proven herself uncannily resourceful time and time again, and Fluttershy constantly underestimated what she was capable of, to Rarity’s constant chagrin. Thus, Rarity was unsurprised when Pinkie bounced out through the doorway, followed by a subdued Fluttershy and an exhausted stationhoof.
Pinkie wasted no time in answering. “Just taking a quick breather after some impromptu redecorating, right pal?” She nudged the stallion in the ribs with a hoof and a sly wink. “Who knew reporters were so bad at playing ‘home invasion?’ They never had a chance!” The stallion’s reply was more of a wheeze, so he settled on giving the pink pony a venomous look.
Rarity stood up from her cosmetic ministrations and peeked into the caboose. Pink nails jutted out from pink boards that covered the window, one wall far more haphazard than the other and two bright blue hammers lay discarded on the floor. The party cannon’s barrel was still hot from its recent barrage, and the far end of the caboose looked as if a tinsel-filled pinata had been brutally murdered by a gang of street toughs armed with glitter glue and party poppers, but Rarity had long since grown desensitized to such sights.
“Fluttershy’s really good at nailing!” Pinkie helpfully offered.
That made the pegasus blush. “I make a lot of birdhouses.”
Pinkie Pie grabbed one of the hammers and stuffed it into her uncontrollable mess of a mane, and tossed the other hammer and a case of nails to Fluttershy. “You can have my lucky hammer, Flutters! I hope it’s as lucky in your hooves as mine!” The pegasus nodded her head in thanks.
Occasionally there would be a thump on one of the thick planks, but it sounded like the ponies outside were fighting as much amongst themselves as they were trying to breach the train. Rarity nodded, satisfied. “Well, ladies, gentlestallion, lets see how the rest of the train held up.” She moved towards Applejack’s position, but paused along the way. “We never introduced ourselves, sir,” she said, turning towards the battered stallion, hoof outstretched. “I am Miss Rarity.”
The stallion looked at Rarity, then at her hoof. “Call me Mover. I never want to meet you crazy mares and get caught up in your problems ever again. Safer not to give you my name, I think.”
“Wow! A fake name? Are you a secret spy? What do you know, punk?” Pinkie instantly turned on the baggage pony, unsuccessfully hiding a smile as she railed on him. “I’m a crack shot with my cannon, you know. They call me Pirate Pinkie, arrr, and I’ll make you walk the plank, you scallywag! Stick em up!”
Well, he’s not wrong. “Fair enough, Mover.” She introduced her companions and continued down the train. Rarity was infinitely grateful that the gaps between traincars were protected by translucent, wind and sound-proof magical barriers: it kept both her hair and knowledge-hungry journalists in their proper place. Modern magic is a wonderful thing. Assuming the generator holds. The shouts and pleads from the crowd assaulted her ears. That certainly bodes well. The same engine that powered the train powered the arcane seals that bridged the space in between cars, causing Rarity to thank Celestia that the conductor had started the train before leaving for breakfast.
Applejack’s car was full of apples but empty of mares. It was quiet, if a pony allowed for the moaning and banging of the crowd outside. “Well, it certainly looks like Applejack had a easy time securing her car. She must be with Twilight and the others.” Rarity had scarcely stepped hoof into the car when Applejack’s voice stopped her in her tracks.
“Rarity, is that you? Finally, I can stop counting rivets!” Applejack voice was raised, but Rarity could tell it was close by. Unfortunately, Applejack was nowhere to be seen.
“Where are you?”
“Behind th’ bushels of apples. My crop got in the way of me locking the door, so I decided to use an... alternate locking mechanism.”
Pinkie hustled over to the source of Applejack’s voice, bouncing on top of crates and barrels, while Fluttershy breezily flapped her wings and followed. I would hate to tear my dress again, so soon after fixing it, thought Rarity, reluctant to clamber over the imposing stacks of apples.
“Hoo boy, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, are you two a sight for sore legs. Mind locking up the door? Bucky McGilligudy and Kicks McGee are mighty tough, but they can’t brace this thing closed forever.”
Pinkie made a comment Rarity couldn’t hear, and Fluttershy let out a snorty giggle.
“Ha ha, very funny Pinkie. I’m sure Granny Smith will be happy to know that my legs are locked tight against any intrusion. Slide those bolts into place, please.”
Mover walked over to a slit in the traincar and slid the cover off to the side, adding to the sound of metal on metal as the bolts locked the other door. “They still haven’t calmed down at all,” he said, shaking his head as he peered through the tiny hole. “How long are we going to be trapped here?”
“Couldn’t we just get this contraption moving? I doubt that this crowd could keep up with us indefinitely.”
Applejack’s head appeared at the top of a stack of apple-filled barrels. “No can do, Rarity. A train can’t just leave a station at any ol’ time it wants.” The rest of the orange mare followed as Applejack gracefully descended the small mountain. “Unless you don’t see the problem with us colliding into another train in one of them mountain tunnels.”
That certainly didn’t sit well with Rarity. “Hardly. But I am not looking forward to sitting here, trapped, until a crowd of ponies gets bored.” She huffed and turned up her nose. “I’m not about to let a mob decide when and where I can go.”
“The engineers and conductor are probably sitting in the cafe around the corner,” Mover offered, as he slid the viewport closed. “At least, that’s where they usually eat before departure. They’re the ones that know the schedule.”
Fluttershy gently touched down next to the group. “Um, Twilight usually knows what's going on. I think.”
“Well, then what are we all waiting for?” Applejack spread her stance out and got low to the floor. “I need to stretch out my joints, anyway. Let’s go!” The farmer quickly trotted into the passenger car, followed by the bouncing pink blur that was Pinkie Pie.
Nothing fazes those two. Where does all that energy come from? Earth ponies were made of tougher stuff than pegasi or unicorns, she knew, but it always seemed to Rarity that her two friends were quite a bit more exceptional than the average pony when it came to vitality. Applejack once bucked trees, without sleep, for days longer than Rarity imagined was survivable, let alone doable, and suffered no long-term ill effects. Had she tried to do the same, Rarity knew she would’ve passed out, exhausted, before the dawn of the second morning.
Pinkie Pie has had her motor stuck in the highest gear for as long as Rarity had known the baker’s apprentice, but even the copious amounts of sugar she consumed couldn’t explain how she never seemed to even consider slowing down. Rainbow Dash was just as energetic, in her own way, as either earth pony mare, but she had to sleep half the day away to perform her daring acrobatics. Imagining Fluttershy or even Twilight’s worst instances of late night study sessions didn’t even come close to what Applejack or Pinkie could do.
Rarity moved after departed duo, but stopped when she noticed Mover and Fluttershy weren’t behind her. “Coming?” she asked as she turned around. Instead of following, Mover was backing up, heading back towards the rear of the train, and Fluttershy was standing, wings limply hanging at her sides.
“I’m sorry I did something to scare you! I didn’t mean to!” Fluttershy was softly pleading with Mover, who stopped his retreat and kicked the ground, a frustrated scowl on his face.
“Look, it has nothing to do with what you’ve done, personally.” His scowl turned into a sigh. “I just think, for the continued safety of my flank, that it would be best if I made sure that the caboose stays secure, coincidentally as far away from you mares as possible.” He turned his head and stared straight at Rarity. “You understand, right?”
Coward. “I think so. Not worth the paycheck you’re getting out of this, right?”
“Right.” Mover turned around and trotted back into the other freight compartment. “Glad you understand,” he called out, over his shoulder.
Aimlessly tracing the floor with her hoof, Fluttershy seemed to slump even more. “Why is he angry at us?” she asked, sad and confused. “This isn’t our fault.”
Leaning in to nuzzle her friend, Rarity tried to boost the pegasus’s spirits. “Some ponies just need somepony to blame when they’re in a bad situation. Sometimes they don’t even need that. Remember Zecora?”
Fluttershy nodded her head. “Yes.”
All of Ponyville had been terrified by the monthly visits of an exotic Zebra stanger. Rarity foalishly allowed herself to fall victim to the herd-think of the town, and was swept along in her fear, just like everypony else. It had taken Twilight Sparkle, still new to the town, and Applejack’s courageous sister Apple Bloom, to show them all that different didn’t mean dangerous. Ponyville was a much richer place with Zecora a part of it.
“I’m sure he’d come around, just like we did, if he spent a little more time with us.” Rarity gave a little twitch as she heard a muffled shout of alarm ring out from up ahead. “Time we, unfortunately, don’t have.”
Rushing into the passenger car, Rarity turned left around the corner into and the hallway, prepared for the worst. She was greeted with a calm, deserted hall. Rarity’s bewilderment was interrupted by the unmistakable sound of wood splintering to her right, coming from one of the passenger compartments.
“Fair Wind was right! They’re breaking through, Fluttershy!” Rarity’s friend gave a squeal of fright behind her. “Come on!” Ripping the door to the compartment open revealed the wiggling hooves of the horde outside reaching into train. The endless pounding of hooves on the exterior had finally done something besides grating on Rarity’s nerves, tearing off two of the thick wooden beams that formed the car itself.
Rarity gave a small sigh before selecting the sturdier-looking beam, picking it up, and jabbing it through the hole at the crowd outside. If this is the best they can do, they’ll be at this for hours before we have a breach. “Fluttershy, dear, could you fix this up with those nails you brought with you?”
“Oh! I think I left those in Applejack’s car! I’ll be right back!” Fluttershy hurried out the way they came.
Rarity gave the mob another few solid pokes as she waited for her friend to return. Slightly bored, Rarity’s thoughts began to wander. Honestly, who builds a wooden traincar? Especially since finely worked metal is what all the best designers are using now. How old is this train, really? Should I be thankful it’s not made of stone?
When Fluttershy finally reappeared, Rarity didn’t hide her relief. “You were gone so long, Fluttershy? What took you?” she said, letting herself whine a bit.
Fluttershy had to speak around the hammer she grasped in her mouth. “I left it behind AJ’s apples. I’m sorry, Rarity.”
“Not a problem, dear. Do you think you could reattach these beams back to the car?”
“Not with these nails,” she replied, shrugging the container off her back. “The wood’s too thick.
“Hmm...” Rarity surveyed the small room. It was cramped, and taking in the details of the room only revealed, to her horror, that it was even dirtier than she had assumed. A couple of dustballs, what she could guess was the remains of some rodent’s nest, and the other beam furnished the floor, while the fold-down benches (or cots, for longer trips) on the walls were devoid of decoration. A small window, too tiny a pony to stick her head through, was set high up on the wall, and filled by the questioning glare of a pegasi.
A candle lit itself in Rarity’s mind. “Idea!” she trilled. “Fluttershy, see if you can’t knock those benches off the walls.” Rarity was thankful the car’s designers had opted for cheap, thin planks instead of thicker boards for the seats. “You can nail them to the wall instead. Try and find the strongest section you can, we wouldn’t want this rabble getting in.”
Rarity watched as Fluttershy folded down the bench. Rusty chains caught the bench with a snap as it fell, and the pink-maned pony gave Rarity an imploring glance.
Rolling her eyes, Rarity paused in her poking to bring the heavy wooden beam down upon the corner of the bench, easily snapping the chain from its wall mount. She repeated the process on the other corner, and a few hammered moments later, the bench was now a barricade, fitting snugly on the wall over the hole. We’re lucky this room is square.
Levitating the beam alongside her, Rarity led the way down the hall to the next car, Fluttershy timidly creeping along behind her. A quick check of the other two compartments failed to reveal any breaches, and the back walls looked to be in prime condition, relatively speaking. Rarity was unsure whether to feel relieved or disappointed that she couldn’t fit the beam around the corner to the adjacent car.
There was trouble in the next car, Rarity was sure, as she heard the telltale sounds of journalistic questioning as soon as she entered it. Looks like Applejack and Pinkie Pie didn’t have our luck. Maybe Pinkie should’ve kept her hammer? Rounding the corner, the unicorn immediately confirmed her fears. Applejack was once again braced against a door, this time propped up against the exterior wall of the passenger car, holding back the swarm that was no doubt just beyond. Rainbow Dash was further down, beating her wings in a steady rhythm to support her efforts to keep her door closed, propped up halfway up the wall.
Rarity sighed, again. Why did it have to be one of those days. She cleared her throat. “Need any help, preferably in a low-stress position?” She certainly didn’t want to have to emulate either one of her athletic friends.
Applejack opened her eyes and let out a wide smile at the sight of Rarity. “Thank Celestia you’re here, you two! I’m not sure how much longer ol’ Dash here can hold out,” she said, smirking.
“Speak for yourself! You’ll be the one sorry, once these journalists get past you, because no way are they getting through me!”
“We’ll both be sorry if either one of us gives up!” Applejack shot back, glaring at Rainbow Dash. “But at least I’ll have the comfort of knowing it wasn’t me!” she looked back at Rarity and rolled her eyes. Rainbow Dash’s buttons are awfully easy to press. Three, two, one...
Rainbow Dash let out a growl. “The only comfort you’ll have once those reporters get you is knowing you’ll be right next to the longest lasting mare in Equestria!” she replied, predictably and painfully.
Rarity groaned. I don’t need Pinkie here to point that one out. Applejack just shook her head. Behind the farmer, Rainbow Dash cocked her head. “What?” she asked, confused.
“Nothin’, RD,” responded Applejack, casually adjusting her hat with a hoof, before returning it to its bracing position.
Eyes narrowing in suspicion, Rainbow beat her wings faster. “Are you making fun of my endurance again? I’ll hold tight against a hundred journalists!” she exclaimed.
Even the newsponies stopped in their efforts at the doors to groan at that. Rarity didn’t have to turn around to know that Fluttershy was beet red, and Applejack bashed her head against the wall in frustration. Blissfully unaware of her double entendres, Rainbow gave everypony in sight a befuddled glance. “What?”
Rarity thought it prudent to cut this discussion short. “What do you need, Applejack?” she asked, changing the subject away from unfortunately phrased statements.
“Well, if these two compartments are busted, I’d bet the farm on the third one not holding out too much longer. If you could do something to prevent us from getting overrun, I’d be mighty grateful. Once that’s taken care of, we gotta do something permanent about this situation here. If these walls ain’t built to code, then sure as the sun shines these doors won’t be, either. Plus,” she added, dropping her voice, “I already held one door shut against a mob, and I’m getting a mite tired. I might fail before she does. She’d lord that over me all trip!”
Nodding gravely, Rarity put a hoof on her friend’s shoulder. An aggrandizing Rainbow Dash was the last thing anypony wanted to pack on a three month journey. She wasn’t going to condemn Applejack to that dark fate. But how? She shook her head. First things first, Rarity. secure that last compartment.
Excusing herself as she stepped over Applejack and under Rainbow Dash, Rarity made her way to the final door, as Fluttershy dutifully followed.
A quick look inside the living quarters revealed the termite-infested rear wall wouldn't last much longer against the seething mass of journalists hungry for an exclusive interview. The wood was dry and crumbly, and every thump on the other side of the wall let out a puff of shredded wood. Rarity could see the rusted nails that held it together couldn't possibly hold out against the crowd desperate to get in.
“That doesn't look good, Rarity,” said Fluttershy, just behind. “Should I put up those benched again?”
Rarity could see, at multiple point, the walls behind the folded benches. “I don't think we'll be able to perform the same trick twice, dear.” Whatever they were doing, they'd have to do it fast. The splintering crack of wood heralded the wall's imminent collapse. Think, Rarity! Her eyes darted back and forth, searching for an answer.
Abruptly, the bashing sound from the other side of the wall stopped. Thank Celestia, they've sto- A single huge crash jolted Rarity into Fluttershy, interrupting her thoughts. “What in Equestria was that?” she asked.
Before Fluttershy could respond, another huge force pounded the side of the train, and sent chunks of rotted wood flying into the room. Rarity turned her head and hid behind her mane, her eyes closed tight to protect against getting blinded by a shard of errant wood. When she turned back towards the wall, one of the thick beams had been replaced by a line of rear hooves.
“They're working together!” she coughed in the dust. “They're bucking as one!” This had certainly turned the situation from bad to worse. An uncoordinated mob was a lot easier to deal with than a unified group. If the various ponies in the riot outside had created an alliance, she couldn't rely on them fighting each other as a distraction anymore. And to add insult to injury, she had just been covered in termite waste!
The reporters ramming the train had managed to get their hooves back outside the train, and were no doubt readying another concentrated assault on the next beam in line. The previous beam lay in pieces around Rarity and Fluttershy, taunting them with it's uselessness in repairing the damage. The beam had been torn around the nails affixing it to the stud behind it, splitting into a half dozen pieces. Six relatively equal pieces...
“Fluttershy,” Rarity ordered, as she focused her magical energies on one of the broken fragments of the wooden beam. “Bring all the parts of the broken beam to the door!” Fluttershy nodded her head an did as she was told, as Rarity focused her concentration on the ugly, useless block of wood before her. Transforming a whole beam was beyond her, but a small section was well within her ability.
With a small 'pop,' the chunk of aged, termite-damaged, dry, brittle wood was turned into a perfectly cut block of wood. Rarity hoped she had judged the distance between the door and the wall correctly. “Use that hammer and wedge this against the door,” she told Fluttershy, as she retreated into the hallway. The crowd might be capable of bucking through weakened wooden walls, but Rarity doubted they could break through a reinforced door, especially with the bottleneck the door itself provided. Two ponies, maybe three, if a pegasus flew above the heads of the other two, would have a very hard time breaking this down.
Rarity poured far more magic into these blocks than the locks previous. They had to last until this crowd dispersed, and with no way of knowing how long that would be, she erred on the side of caution, and put hours of magic into them.
She glanced over at Rainbow Dash, still bracing the centre door of the compartment, a dark grin of determination decorating her features. I can't possibly see myself enjoying that, thought Rarity. This is a far more elegant solution.
The next few moments passed quickly, Rarity focused on transforming the crude pieces of wood into beautiful, solid planks, and Fluttershy wordlessly jamming them into place with a few knocks of her hammer. Rarity was nearly drained of magic by the end her task, and was grateful she was only creating simple blocks, not complex sculptures as was her custom when working with wood. A quiet pant of relief was the only indication of exhaustion she let out once complete, however. A lady always keeps her bearing graceful and effortless.
The crashing of wood and the stampede of hooves from the other side of the door came seconds after the barricade was complete. Rarity and Fluttershy both watched, transfixed, as the door strained against the blocks keeping it shut. One second, then two, then three. Rarity let out the breath she had been holding.
“A perfect success, as I imagined!” she exclaimed, hiding her excitment rather poorly. “Good work, Fluttershy!”
“You too, Rarity!” the pegasus replied, beaming.
“Yeah, great job you two,” came the scratchy voice of Rainbow from behind Rarity. “But holding this closed is getting pretty old, so, if you could do something about that next?” she trailed off.
Rarity raised an eyebrow. “Somepony getting tired?”
“No way!” Rainbow snarled. “Just... bored. That's all.”
“I'll see what I can do” Rarity grinned knowingly as she carefully squeezed under the planks sealing the door. “How long until you're bored out of your mind?” She didn’t want her dress getting ripped or stretched again, especially with her magical reserves so low.
“Uhh... five minutes?” Rainbow answered, finally getting a clue on some subtlety.
“I'll be back before then.”
Rarity once again led Fluttershy into the next, final, passenger car. The only car beyond this was the engine car, where hopefully Twilight was close to figuring out a long term solution to the situation they were in. Celestia willing, there wouldn't be some crisis in here that Rarity had to solve before continuing onward. She didn't have much left in her.
Rounding the corner, Rarity breathed in relief. The hallway was clear, with the exception of a familar griffon lounging against the wall opposite the first door. His golden eyes flickered over her for a brief moment before returning to staring into the compartment.
“Hello there, Raptor.”
“Rarity, shy one,” his salutation was curt, and he didn't move his gaze from the room
“Her name is Fluttershy, Raptor.” Rarity trotted up to the griffon. “What are you doing?”
“Being a deterrent.” His monotonous tone didn't change, nor did he turn to address her.
Rarity noticed for the first time that his talons were tinged with red, and the door frame was marked with gouges that looked suspiciously talon-made. Knowing better than to ask a honest question and receive an unenlightening response, Rarity moved up and peeked around the corner, hoping she was wrong in her assumption.
A gasp of revulsion escaped her, and she felt her breakfast coming back up. Ponies littered the floor, unmoving, all of them gravely wounded. The hole in the far wall gave her a fabulous view of ponies desperately pushing back against the crowd, doing everything they could to avoid being forced into the cabin by the unruly press of the mob. Rarity turned away, trying to forget the horrible image of ponies laying dead on the floor, and set a steely glare on Aven Briskwind.
“How could you! What did you do to them, you brute! They're just trying to do their jobs, a bit over-zealously, yes, but you didn't have to kill them, you monster!” she screamed at the impassive griffon, as the lout just sat there, not even looking at her. “You will look at me when I speak to you, you bloodthirsty beast!”
Infuriatingly, Briskwind continued to ignore her, staring straight ahead, his golden eyes cool and disinterested. Rarity gave a huff of displeasure, ignoring the small voice inside of her head that observed that, perhaps, agitating an avian predator that has just proven his murderous impulses were unchecked was an unwise course of action.
Before she could take in the deep breath her next tirade would require, he spoke. “Take another look. Now.”
The quiet fury in his voice sent a shiver down her spine, and Rarity suddenly noticed just how close those wickedly sharp talons were. She turned her head back towards the carnage.
“See how shallow their wounds are? Most of them have already closed up.” Is he proud of what he's done? She forced down her stomach and set her eyes searching from body to body. While it was certainly far more blood than Rarity was used to, or would ever like to see, she had to admit that there was an awfully scarce amount for the half-dozen ponies or so inside.
“Unless I've gotten careless, they should all be still breathing, see?” Rarity focused on a red stallion, hoping she could fool herself into forgetting about the blood. His chest rose and fell in the steady rhythm of respiration.
“Now continue to look horrified so the rest of those rats think their pals are dead.”
Rarity caught herself before she could let out a loud sigh of relief. Instead, she turned and spun on the griffon. “I- I understand, si-Raptor. You did what had to be done.” She gracelessly passed him, almost tripping over her hooves. “Come on, Fluttershy. Leave him to his... butcher's work.”
A low grunt from Briskwind caused Rarity to turn around. Fluttershy was nowhere in sight. “I don't think your friend liked what she heard.” A ghost of a smile passed over Aven's beak. A flap of his wings sent dust and bits of debris down the hallway, adding to Rarity's dishevelled state. What a toad of a protector, she thought. But likely worth every bit, she mentally added, recalling the chill she had felt when he addressed her.
Hoping Fluttershy wasn't scared out of her wits, and had returned to encourage Rainbow Dash and Applejack in their efforts, Rarity pressed on. Twilight better be close to figuring out how to get us out of here. Rarity had her doubts in the patch job she and Fluttershy had done in the first passenger car. Would it hold against a concentrated effort?
The metal floor of the engine car clicked loudly against her hooves as she carefully stepped around complicated looking mechanisms that Rarity couldn't put a name to, much less a function. Most were inert, but one in particular was filled with whirring gears and thrumming gizmos. The cause was obvious: Twilight Sparkle's horn was aglow with magic, and Rarity could sense the power flowing through her and into the machine. Dusty Ruin was madly flipping through manuals and schematics next to the powerful unicorn, covered in grease and blackened with soot.
“Rarity!” cried Twilight, a smile on her weary-looking face. “You're safe! Is everypony else alright?”
“Just a little messy, Twilight. The girls are doing well, for now. Applejack and Rainbow Dash are holding back a crazed horde of reporters with their bare hooves, Fluttershy is with them, likely scared witless, and Briskwind is,” she paused, trying to find the right words. “Very effective, and perfectly safe.” Rarity looked around for Pinkie Pie. “Where's Pinkie? She was ahead of me.”
“Here I am!”
Rarity jumped away from the high-pitched greeting, originating just beyond her right flank, before identifying the voice's owner, as, of course, Pinkie Pie. The pink menace/friend was almost completely buried in machinery, and Rarity was certain there was no way any organism with bones could contort themselves into Pinkie's position.
“Wow, Rarity, you look awful! What's next, Dusty?” Pinkie's grin was guileless. Rarity resorted to simply rolling her eyes rather than undergoing a futile attempt to teach Pinkie the meaning of tact.
The elder unicorn had his bushy eyebrows furrowed. “Well, if hose 7B is connected to coupling A7, then I think gear B8 just needs to be fully recessed. Or is that 8B?” Squinting at the blueprints in front of him, he shook his head and turned the parchment upside down. “I'm more comfortable with things from before this century, unfortunately.”
Pinkie fished a wrench out from somewhere and balanced it on her nose. “Don't worry! What's the worst that could happen? Be right back!” Her pink mane disappeared, impossibly, into the mass of gears and widgets, and a few seconds later, Rarity heard the sound of metal scraping on metal.
“Is what Pinkie's doing,” possible? Rarity wanted to ask, but settled for “Safe?”
“Safe or not, if we don't get the barrier shield running at full power, those journalists are going to pick our brains for sure!” answered Twilight, horn still glowing with the intensity of a hundred candles.
“What is it you're doing, dear?”
“Twilight,” coughed Dusty Ruin, “is powering the arcano-generator that runs the engine. Unfortunately, that thing's older than I am, and hasn't kept itself in nearly as fine shape.” If Dusty Ruin was a pegasus, he'd surely be preening right about now. “As such, it's wasting almost all of Twilight's energy as heat. Compounding the problem, the shield-emitting mechanism itself was nearly defunct, before we started fixing it. What's running now is the backup emitter, while Pinkie and myself do our best to get the actual device working.” He looked up at Twilight, still glowing like the sun. “Did I get that right?”
“Absolutely correct, Dr. Ruin.” Twilight was beaming.
“While I'm normally more comfortable with simpler machines, like rolling boulders and spears shooting out of walls, I’ve always supported the notion of continuing education. Why not learn about arcane technology?” He chuckled. “No time like the present, eh?
Sun and moon, they’ve turned this into a classroom! Rarity made a promise to herself to keep the two intellectuals distanced from each other in future times of crisis. “Well, I have to say I’m surprised and a little disappointed at the state of our transportation, Twilight. No amount of cost saving is worth putting up with this,” stated Rarity, kicking an important-looking gear that laid, discarded, on the floor. “This is a worse disaster than my mane is right now!”
“I think you look rather rugged, my dear.”
“Thank you, Doctor, but I try my best not to look ‘rugged.’”
Twilight scratched the side of her head and gave a little blush. At least, Rarity thought she saw a blush. It was hard to look at the librarian without squinting. “This has less to do with money and more to do with time.” She frowned. “I had gotten us seats and cargo space on a passenger train heading south, but when I checked in at the station office this morning, I was told that the owner had just sold the train, and was no longer open to the public. I saw this train sitting on the tracks, asked if it was available, signed a not insignificant amount of safety waivers and, well, here we are!” Twilight lowered her head and stage whispered, “Apparently this was about to be decommissioned. You wouldn’t believe the deal I got!”
I wonder why. “Twilight, this thing’s a deathtrap!”
“I know!” Twilight cheered, gushing happiness. “Which is why I’m telling myself ‘one train’s as good as the other, Twilight! Still going according to plan!’” The lavender unicorn’s voice had the edge of hysteria to it.
Pinkie Pie popped her head out of an access panel Rarity had missed before. “I hope your plan involves using extra-virgin olive oil as lube, because that thing was bone dry!” As she clambered out of the floor, Rarity noticed her friend was slick with what couldn’t be just olive oil. Pinkie Pie was covered in some unholy mix of grease, soot, oil, and sweat, and she was coming closer.
Rarity was nowhere near a bathtub. And wearing a dress that had to be dry cleaned. And Pinkie had a gleam in her eye that screamed ‘physical contact.’
“Nice work, Pinkie! I think we’re good to go!” Twilight chimed in. “Doctor Ruin, would you be so kind as to buck that rusted gear into motion on my mark?”
“Certainly!”
Pinkie was jubilant. “Rarity, did you hear that? We’ll be safe in no time!” She continued her casual trot towards Rarity, eyes sparkling.
Time slowed down. Rarity weighed her options. I could flick Twilight’s horn, interrupting her channelling. That’d let all those ponies in through the gaps in the cars. But would they get here before Pinkie could hug me? She scanned the room, looking for something she could use as a shield between her and the slimy mess that drew ever closer. How could something this ramshackle not have a loose plate, or grate, or anything I could use t-
“Now!”
With Twilight’s cry, her horn blazed fiercely, Dusty Ruin gave a rust-caked gear a mighty buck, and Pinkie pounced into the air.
“Pinkie, Nooo!” A desperate cry of despair did nothing to stop Pinkie from giving Rarity the friendliest, filthiest, foulest hug ever received by the unicorn.
-----
Rarity certainly felt a bit better after venting some of her frustrations out on the poor journalists that were inside the train when the emitter started running again. She hoped she hadn’t chipped a hoof on anypony. Twilight had requested that everypony gather in the engine room so she could keep the generator powered while planning what to do next. Unfortunately, Pinkie still had a limb draped around her. The damage was already done, however, and getting dirtier would let her pass off her revolting appearance as unavoidable to anypony, or anyprincess, that happened to stop by to see her off.
Assuming this train would ever go anywhere
“So, here’s what we know. Fair Wind managed to escape before the train was completely surrounded, and hopefully he was able to alert the rest of the party before they arrived at the station. Nopony should have to wade through that crowd. I’m confident in my ability to power this generator, but I’m far less certain of its reliability. Celestia only knows how long this thing will hold out before we’re back to where we were before. We need a plan to get these journalists either calmed down or off our backs. Suggestions?” Twilight asked, finishing her summarization.
“You know what my plan is, Dusty. Show a little force and watch them scatter.” Briskwind offered, cleaning his nails in a corner of the room. “With your permission, of course.”
The archaeologist shook his head. “Things are not so grave as to resort to violence just yet, Raptor.”
“Suit yourself.”
Pinkie lifted her arm from Rarity and thrust it into the air. “Ooh! Ooh! Pick me Twilight!”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Yes, Pinkie?”
“How about if we gave these ponies an even bigger story to report on somewhere else?” She hopped in excitement. “It could be something real juicy, like, umm...” Pinkie brought a hoof up to her chin, deep in thought.
“The fastest way to ruin a dress?” offered Rarity, still peeved.
“An unnanounced Wonderbolts display on the other side of the mountain!”
“Sweet Apple Acres releasing decades-old cider reserves from storage?”
Rainbow’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t joke about that, Applejack.”
All sets of eyes on the room turned to Fluttershy.
“Um. I think I saw a Canis Major a week ago in the Everfree.”
“Really, Fluttershy? Those are incredibly rare!” Twilight leant towards the pegasus, notepad and quill at the ready. “When exact-”
“I’ve got it!” Shouted Pinkie, interrupting Twilight as she leapt into the air. “Princess Cadence is getting lovey-dovey with the captain of the guard! Such a scandal! Think of the security breach!”
Twilight frowned. “Come on, Pinkie. We need something in the realm of possibility. And I think I’d be the first to know, outside the palace, if that were to be plausible at all.”
In response, Pinkie Pie blew a raspberry at Twilight while winking at nopony in particular.
Applejack spoke up next. “I figure that these ponies just want a story. What if we give em something to talk about, on our own terms?” She looked around the room. “What’s stopping us from walking up to one of those holes in the train and giving them what they want, truthful-like?”
“That... sounds entirely reasonable,” said Twilight.
“Well then let's get to it!” Applejack turned towards Rarity. “You take the middle compartment in the second car, you love being the centre of attention. Dusty, you mind getting the first hole? You’re a professor, go give em some learning!” She turned and ran out of the engine car.
“She can’t possibly expect me to deliver a public address looking like this!” Rarity pleaded, looking for support.
“Who else?” asked Twilight. “Fluttershy is Fluttershy, our feathered friend over there growls more than talks, Rainbow Dash is-”
“Not doing this, thank you! I’ve got some nap time I need to catch up on while you guys figure this out.”
“And do you really trust Pinkie Pie with telling a story?”
Rarity looked over to the pink earth pony, who was still muttering to herself. “And then, at the wedding, the bride is revealed to have a terrible, terrible secret: she’s actually a stallion!”
“All right then, Twilight. But I still get to be unhappy about this!” Rarity turned around and followed the disappearing tail of Dusty Ruin out of the car.
“Duly noted!” came the cheerful reply.
Rarity watched as Dusty Ruin stepped over the fallen ponies in the first breached compartment, and marvelled at his nonchalance at the bloodshed. I suppose one would get used to sights like that, with a griffon like Briskwind in one’s employ. She shuddered. I hope I don’t lose my aversion to blood.
When she came upon her transformed blocks of wood, she was almost thankful for Pinkie’s greasy hug, as it allowed her to easily slip through the narrow passage low to the floor. Almost thankful. It was going to take all of her skills to clean her dress to any degree of satisfaction. First, she’d have to find some sort of detergent that would remove the grease without bleaching or, even worse, eating a hole throu-
Stop stalling Rarity. Address that crowd.
But she looked like a carnival freak, with a mottled coat of soot and sweat! How could she live with herself if anypony took pictures of her? And they were journalists, of course she’d be photographed! She’d be immortalized forever as some dirty-looking hag!
If you’re worried about that, you could take a page out of that dreadful musician’s book and write an obscenity on your face. They’d have to block it out in order to publish it.
That was a ridiculous idea. The princesses were coming here, to see her. She couldn’t show her face to them with something vulgar scrawled across it! No, Rarity had to get this over with, quickly. It was like ripping off a bandage: best to do it quickly.
Taking a deep breath, she stepped inside the cabin and approached the impromptu picture window that was the back wall. “Greetings, mares, gentlestallions,” she began, looking out at the massive crowd of ponies that surrounded the train and filled the station. “My name is Rarity, and-”
A long, low blast of a horn interrupted her. Earth ponies and unicorns spun around on the ground, trying to determine the source of the sound, while Rarity and the airborne pegasi had a clear view of its point of origin.
At the entrance to the station, a massive, opulent carriage had arrived, pulled by a team of serious-looking guardponies. Both the vehicle and the team that pulled it were outfitted in blue and gold. A moment later, two smaller carriages appeared from the street and flanked the larger one. As the the lead guardsmare sounded the horn again, Rarity narrowed her eyes. She knew whose colours those were.
Blueblood.
Rarity sprang back from the hole and dashed towards the door, calling out as she did. “Applejack, get back to the engine car!” Practically diving under the planks of wood in the corridor, Rarity wasted no time in following her own advice. Something had tickled her in the back of her mind, and she knew that all of her friends needed to be together for whatever happened next.
“I’m coming!”
Racing down the length of the train, Rarity stopped only to briefly order Dusty Ruin to the engine room. As she did so, she saw the press ponies being rebuffed from approaching the Prince by a quickly-assembled perimeter of blue and gold. She didn’t catch a glimpse of Blueblood himself, but she supposed he’d likely stay in the carriage until things were under control outside.
Oddly, Rarity didn’t feel the least bit breathless after her sprint, slowing down to a dignified pace steps away from the engine car. “Twilight!” she yelled. “Blueblood’s here!”
“I know!” Twilight didn’t turn away from one of the windows, intent on watching the events outside. Rarity noticed that the light from her horn was significantly dimmer than before. Next to the librarian, Pinkie Pie twisted her head and perked up her ears.
“Girls, do you feel that?” she asked, looking around the room.
“Feel what?” said Rainbow, flapping her wings in agitation.
“I...” Pinkie trailed off, screwing her eyes tight. “I think...” She drew into herself, curling up into a ball, her voice growing soft. Everypony leaned in closer, straining to hear. The sound of hooves from the entrance notified Rarity of Applejack and Dusty Ruin’s arrival.
“Pinkie, what’s wrong?” Rainbow Dash swept in close, hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder.
An explosion of confetti and streamers and the sound of a kazoo blew Rainbow back. Pinkie leapt onto her rear hooves, limbs reaching for the sky.
“THERE’S A SONG COMING ON!”
Pinkie bounced over to Twilight and flicked her horn with a hoof. The startled mare lost control of her spell and, with a grinding of gears and the pop of sparks, the generator died, taking the shield along with it.
“Come on, everypony, let’s get out there!” With a gleeful cheer, Pinkie jumped out of the train.
A moment of stunned silence was spoiled by a sputtering Rainbow Dash attempting to extricate confetti flakes from her mane. “Plegh!” she spat, coughing up glitter. She looked around, amber eyes quizzical. “Why aren’t you guys saving Pinkie from herself?”
Rarity looked at Twilight, who looked at Applejack, who was looking at Fluttershy, who blushed.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Why does it seem like I have to do everything?” A streak of rainbow and a cloud of dust signalled her departure from the train.
Rarity felt the irresistible pull of an upcoming musical number directing her to follow her two friends. It wasn’t her starting this song and dance, but somepony wanted her present before it began. Rarity could guess who.
“I think Prince Blueblood is requesting an audience. Girls?” Rarity held out a hoof and motioned for the rest of the gang to exit before her. Fluttershy brushed past her, smiling.
“I hope it’s not anything too heavy.”
“I love it when this happens!” Twilight was practically prancing as she exited the train. “I hope I have a singing part!”
“I never get to sing,” grumbled Applejack. “I hope it’s got some nice guitar in it, anyway.”
Before following her friends, Rarity used all the energy she had left to improve her appearance. Hopefully I come out of this looking better than Blueblood did. She focused most of her efforts on her mane and tail, the former being a sickly, slick mess and the latter looking more like a broom than a tail. Wishing she had a mirror, she stepped out onto the platform.
(A/N: Makkon, in the style of General Mumble Timestamps indicate when the voices kick in and who is singing.)
As her hoof hit the stone outside, music began to play. Rarity was unfamiliar with the genre, but it sounded rather peppy. Like in the ancient fable, the journalists were instantly soothed from a angry mob into a coordinated unit, clearing a wide path between the engine car and the carriages. Large enough for a dozen ponies to trot abreast, it allowed the team pulling the lead carriage to move forward, bodies straining against their harnesses.
Rarity ventured forth, her friends falling in beside her. She was at the head of the herd. Whatever this song entailed, she was a large part of it. Pinkie and Rainbow Dash were between them and Blueblood’s enormous transport. Rainbow Dash leant down and whispered something to Pinkie, who let out a laugh. As if it were some sort of planned signal, Blueblood appeared in a flash of magic atop his carriage and began to sing in a strong baritone.
(0:30) Blueblood
Look at the scum that have assembled here
See our competitors how they quake in fear
This journey will be such a hoot
Once home in Canterlot with bags of loot.
The scorn in his voice was unmistakable as he sung, gazing across the crowd. He easily dismounted his ride with two quick hops down, the coattails of his magnificently tailored blue suit blazing behind him. He was gorgeous. As he was coming down, a quartet of ponies emerged from behind the carriage, each dressed to the nines. Rarity recognized them from the disastrous meeting the day before.
(0:45) Blueblood
We are the ones who rule the world
You are the ones who work and toil
Its not hard to understand your place
Nose to the grindstone in a ratrace
Rarity continued her march forward, Pinkie and Rainbow falling in behind her as she moved. Blueblood’s entourage formed a similar formation, with the Prince at it’s head. All the ponies in the crowd were stamping along to the beat, but not loudly enough to make it hard to hear the music or Blueblood’s lyrics. Tired of his classist remarks, Rarity opened her mouth to respond.
(1:00) Rarity
Where is the grace you hold in high regard
Betrayed the ponies you were made to guard
The Lunar Princess hopes to cleanse your shame
From Equestria and only you are to blame
Speaking of Luna, where were the Royal Sisters? Rarity would love to have Luna add a verse or two tearing Blueblood apart. In her absence, Rarity supposed she would bear that burden.
(1:16) Blueblood
Luna’s plan will bring ruin to us all
Without its nobles Equestria will fall
Every treaty, peace and correspond
Bears our signature our sacred bond
Blueblood brought a hoof down hard onto the pavement, accentuating his message with displays of physical flourish. Indistinct images of long-dead nobles signing documents flashed in the air above him
(1:31) Blueblood
We are the ones who draft the laws
While you all beg, fight and vainly claw
Our value the Solar Princess sees
For centuries she’s trusted our expertise
Rowdy ‘common’ ponies, depicted as unwashed vagabonds, fought over a bounty of food as monocle-wearing nobles daintily sipped tea from a patio, shaking their heads at the display. A slightly younger Princess Celestia appeared in the sky above the fighting ponies, a frown across her divine visage.
(1:46) Rarity
For centuries Celestia’s held to a vow
To let pony govern pony you stupid cow
Although she raises the sun each and every dawn
It’s not an endorsement of your brainless brawn
The image of the sun goddess shrugged her shoulders and looked expectantly at the nobleponies. Instead of getting off their rears and organizing the food distribution, they silently cackled and pulled out comically oversized bags of golden bits, meticulously counting every coin.
(2:02) Rarity
It is plain for all in this station to view
That every rule you twist and misconstrue
Is not for our great and ancient nation
but for your own petty pride and high station
Rarity’s steady pace hadn’t slowed as the song continued to play, and neither had Blueblood’s. They stopped less than a metre apart, Rarity turning to the crowd and thrusting her hoof at the image above. The flag of Equestria, depicting a stylized alicorn in front of a bisected sun and moon symbol, was trampled callously underhoof as a noblemare trotted around a statue of herself.
(2:17) Pinkie Pie
This isn’t a fight to see who’s wrong or right
This is a race, a chance to see some sights!
Come on you silly fillies, just ignore the bourgeois
I guarantee a laugh, ha ha ha!
Pinkie used Rarity’s back as a springboard to bound forward, knocking the wind out of the fashionista and driving her to the ground. The party pony landed in front of Rarity and lifted her chin with a hoof, filling her vision with a smiling face. Above, the statue burst apart as another Pinkie emerged from it, showering the noblemare with stone fragments, waving a flag with all three types of ponies surrounded by a giant heart.
(2:32) Blueblood
We are the ones who know the game
That other nations call their claim to fame
Removing us is such a stupid move
I dare not lower myself to your level to prove
The Prince shoved Pinkie forward, causing her to collapse onto Rarity in a jumbled heap. He turned his nose into the air as he sang, and Rarity was acutely aware that she was prone on the ground and covered in filth. The image above flashes to show shady-looking griffons, diamond dogs, deer, and zebras gazing covetously at a map of Equestria, until the map burned away to reveal a stately, fierce looking noble.
(2:47) Blueblood
Be rest assured that you will not prevail
Thunder is in our hooves, wind in our sail
Expect defeat and you will not be wrong
This we swear in stalwart voice and song
A peal of thunder and a gust of wind knocked the rest of Rarity’s group down and sent the six mares tumbling back towards the train, hooves, wings, and horns sticking out awkwardly from the pile. Rarity was dazed, unable to focus, and tried to shake the confusion out from between her ears.
(3:03) Blueblood
I’ll see those who dare challenge our strength
Broken and penniless, exiled across the strait
And now its time to put this to rest
Celestia, Luna, my dears, I hope you’re at your best.
At the end of his verse, Blueblood and the other aristocrats turned towards the street and knelt in deep bows, and his carriage was maneuvered out of the way to reveal the gleaming royal chariot, pulled by four pegasus guards. Celestia and Luna were both atop it, Celestia bobbing her head in time to the cheerful tune as it winded down.
Rarity finally succeeded in neatly organizing the corners of her mind as the song ended, quickly coming to a few crucial revelations: One, she was currently entangled in a ball of ponyflesh with her best friends, instead of properly prostrating herself before her rulers and goddesses. Two, she was still a horrible mess, the gust of wind and uncontrolled tumble having thoroughly destroyed her feeble efforts at fixing her hair and attire, and three, she was completely unprotected from the crowd of no-longer-sedated press.
You win this round, Blueblood.
Luna nudged Celestia, the elder sister still blissfully bobbing her head to the nonexistent music, as the herald announced their royal presence to the gathered journalists. Celestia’s eyes blinked open. Moving as one, the two Princesses spread their wings and gracefully took to the skies, gliding towards the bowing nobles.
“Ouch, not cool.” Rainbow Dash’s voice was alarmingly close to Rarity’s right ear. “Talk about artistic liberties. No way I’d ever get rattled by some stupid thunderbolt!”
“Somepony want to remove their hoof from my side?” drawled Applejack. “And where’s my hat gone off to?”
The sounds of panic came from somewhere behind Rarity and to the right. “I can’t see! Or breathe! Was that Princess Celestia I heard?” Twilight’s voice was oddly muffled.
Amid the chorus of groans, Rarity disentangled herself from her friends as they did the same. Rainbow Dash braced Twilight as Applejack yanked her hat off Twilight’s face, which had somehow wedged itself inside the crown of the farmer’s trademark headgear. Rarity had to marvel at the fact that Twilight’s horn failed to pierce through the lightweight fabric.
A brave individual yelled a question, directed at the Princesses, and, emboldened, the crowd unleashed a torrent of shouts and queries. Rarity saw Luna shoot them a stern glare, to no effect, but all Celestia had to do was pass her eyes over the crowd to quiet them.
“What is going on here?” Celestia arched an eyebrow as her pastel mane billowed out around Her.
“Aunt Celestia, when I arrived, this unruly crowd had trapped our competitors inside their train. I was fortunate enough to have brought my personal guards along with me, to try and calm the crowd, but it was not enough.” Blueblood looked positive contrite. “I regret having to trouble You with this inconvenience.”
A frown graced Celestia’s regal features. It was like a cloud had moved across the sun. “Are there really this many newspapers in Equestria?” She walked over to one of the reporters, who looked visibly shaken. “What newspaper do you write for?”
Rarity could see the sweat pouring off his coat from fifty paces away. “Uh, The Canterlot Gazette, Your Majesty.”
Celestia turned to the stallion next to him. “And you?”
“A-also the Canterlot Gazette, Your Regalness.”
The goddess smiled. “Well, that seems a bit silly, sending two reporters to the same place. Aren’t there any other stories waiting to be told in Canterlot?”
“Of course, Princess.” He gulped down some air. “There’s a... foal’s hoofball game just waiting to be covered!”
Brushing him with her wing, Celestia turned to address the crowd, barely raising her voice. “I would greatly appreciate only one reporter from each news organization to remain here. A press gallery this large takes a little bit away from the occasion.”
Rarity had never seen so many ponies rushing about so wildly. Shouts and cries tore through the air as journalists tried to find their colleagues and decide who would get to stay and would would join the vast majority in leaving the station. Amidst the chaos, Princess Luna trotted over.
“It is good to see you all together, and awake,” the Princess of the Night began. “But We must wonder: What happened to your train?” Luna looked down the side of the train, lingering on the holes the mob had created in the passenger cars. She brought her gaze back towards the Elements of Harmony, resting on Pinkie and Rarity. “And what happened to you?”
“It’s a long story, Princess-” Twilight began, before being cut off by Rainbow Dash.
“Long story? It’s super short! A bunch of wacky reporters decided they just couldn’t wait for an interview and started trying to tear our train, and us, apart!” The pegasus snorted in frustration.
“Oh, it wasn’t that bad,” started Twilight, trying to play down the severity of the situation to the Princess.
“I’m going to beg to differ, ‘Twi.” said Applejack. “I could’ve lost my whole crop to those crazy ponies!” Luna frowned at Applejack’s comment.
“But we’re all fine, right, girls?” Twilight’s voice was getting higher.
Rarity felt a surge of anger course through her. “Fine, Twilight? Do I look fine to you?”
“Well...”
“I’ll answer that for you, Twilight. I am most certainly not fine. I had to beat off reporters with my own luggage and a stick, Twilight! Look what they did to my dress, my mane!” Rarity wailed, distraught. “Grease, everywhere!”
“I thought I did that to you.”
Not helping, Pinkie.
“We are certain that a bit of grit from the hard road will do you no harm, Rarity,” stated Princess Luna, before turning to Twilight. “And We would appreciate it if you did not spare Our feelings when relaying information.”
“Of course, Princess!” Twilight nodded her head briskly. Rarity did the same.
“Regardless, We have some information that may be of use.” Luna leaned in close. “We underestimated the funds Blueblood and his ilk had on hoof. We had hoped to see them suffer as you no doubt will, but they have proven themselves quite resourceful when it comes to assembling wealth.” Luna motioned toward the noble’s carriages. Guardsponies were hauling out statues, paintings, jewel-encrusted robes, and chests of diadems, tiaras and other jewelry from the vehicles, and loading it onto the platform next to the rails.
“Unfortunately, it is unlikely they will have to spend a single bit before leaving Equestrian shores.” Luna scowled. “Blueblood has allies all across Equestria, and if not him, then Archduchess Beachcomber will no doubt ask her vassals for lodging and food, who will be obliged to aid her.
“Luckily, We have a plan to curtail any aid given to them, but the wealth they have looted from their own estates is theirs to squander.”
“Wow, thanks, Princess!” Rainbow Dash punched Her Majesty in the shoulder. “You’re awesome!”
Luna’s expression grew alarmed. “Wait! She meant-”
Rainbow disappeared under a pile of armoured pegasi, who had appeared out of nowhere to pin the mare to the ground.
“No harm.”
A particularly burly guard snapped Luna a salute as he watched his men secure the limp pegasus to the ground. “Suspect secure?” he asked one of the cloud-white pegasi. He received a nod in response. Satisfied, he turned to the Princess. “Threat eliminated, ma’am!
Luna rolled her eyes. “Thank you, Hair Trigger. Release the suspect into Our custody. We shall deal with her Ourselves.”
Wordlessly, the squadron of guards took to the skies. Rarity tried to follow them as they took off, but the sun blinded her. Blinking to clear the spots from her vision, she discovered the pegasi had disappeared. Where did they come from? Where did they go, for that matter?
Princess Luna massaged her forehead with a hoof. “I don’t understand how Celly deals with them,” she said, momentarily dropping her formal speech. “This happens at least thrice a week.”
Twilight nodded knowingly. “My father nearly had his leg broken one night, when he and mother invited Celestia over for dinner,” Twilight paused, recollecting. “Celestia never came to my parent’s place again.”
Speaking of Celestia, thought Rarity as she spotted the Princess coming over, Blueblood and cronies in tow.
Finished with the pleasantries of catching up with my most faithful student and her friends, sister?” said Celestia, as she gave Twilight an affectionate nuzzle.
Rarity gave Pinkie and Rainbow her best ‘Say Nothing’ glare as Luna spoke up. Nopony interrupts a sisterly dialogue, especially a royal one.
“Indeed, dear sister. I am as excited as all of Equestria must be, to watch such a thrilling adventure unfold.”
“Such as it is. What a delightful idea you had, turning this expedition into a competition!”
Rarity sensed that this was a canned, pre-rehearsed conversation. Cameras flashed and bulbs exploded as the sixty or so journalists still at the station took picture after picture. I hope not too many are focused on me.
“I could hardly help myself, Celestia. All the pieces were there, waiting for somepony to pick them up and play the game.”
“A game, Luna? I think our adventurers would disagree in calling their mission something so trivial.”
“Call it what you will, sister, but a game is what it is. Strict rules and a clear goal are all that is required to create one.”
“Strict rules, Luna?”
“Yes.” Luna’s voice suddenly jumped in volume and force, enough to allow Rarity to feel the currents of air being displaced by it’s power. “Henceforth, no pony of Equestria, nor any citizen of any signatory of the Celestine Pact, is allowed to aid either team of competitors in any way unless properly compensated for their goods or services.
“No individual will allow a member of either team to come to mortal harm if it is within their power to aid them, and no member of either team shall be allowed access to any of their incomes beyond what they have on their person at the beginning of the journey.
“Lastly, any team member may induct a willing participant into their team, so long as they understand the rules that they are bound by, and any individual may withdraw themselves from the race, to await the conclusion of the journey here, in Canterlot.”
“You forgot the artifact part.”
“Competitors, do not damage the ancient relics you seek.” Luna frowned at her sister. “I thought-” the Princess lowered her voice. “I thought the last one was obvious.”
“It can never hurt to be too careful.” Celestia had an impish grin on her face.
Luna stepped away from the rest of the group before turning to address them. “Contestants, do you agree to the terms previously presented?”
Rarity had her misgivings about the ’mortal harm’ bit, but she pushed them aside and added her agreement to her friend’s. She had noted that the nobles had grumbled at the compensation part, but they agreed all the same. I hope that none of this comes back to haunt us.
“All that’s left is to name your teams!” Celestia cheerily chimed.
“If you would, Aunt Celestia, I would ask you to christen us yourself.” Blueblood’s reverent tone was completely genuine, surprising Rarity. “It would be an honour to carry out this task in your name.”
“I was hoping I would have a chance to suggest team names. I’ve put a bit of thought into it.” Celestia was failing to notice the stricken look on Twilight’s face. I can only imagine how the poor dear feels, thought Rarity. Best to be quicker on the draw when trying to curry favour with somepony like Blueblood around.
“I’m rather partial to the ‘Sun-Kissed Crusaders,’ myself,” continued Celestia. “But I think that’s a bit too pompous, wouldn’t you agree? I think something simple will do. We wouldn’t want to distract anypony from your individual achievements with an overbearing name.
“How do you feel about Team Celestia?”
Blueblood visibly deflated. “A-are you sure? It seems a b-”
“Perfect, wouldn’t you agree?”
“Yes, of course,” replied Blueblood. Rarity had to stifle a snicker. You got exactly what you wanted, Blueblood. Why the glum face?
Beside her, Twilight whimpered. “I wanted to be on Team Celestia...” Pinkie Pie picked up on Twilight’s distress immediately.
“Oh, I have a bunch of great names for us! Way better than Team Celestia, blegh! How about the Jungle Jello Jammers? Or the Risky Ruin Ravagers? The Pot-bellied Pig Patrollers? The-” Pinkie continued to rambled even after Applejack stuck a hoof in her mouth.
“I was thinking, Princess Luna, that it just ain’t fair that one sister gets a team named after her and the other doesn’t. So I’d like to suggest Team Luna, to keep with the theme we’ve got going.”
Luna brightened considerably. “We would be honoured to have you bear Our name!”
“Aw, shucks, Princess, we should be the one’s grateful.” Applejack looked around. “Anypony disagree?”
Nopony raised an objection, and Applejack nodded her head. “That settles it, then. Team Luna it is.”
One of the reporters had a surge of confidence and strode forward. “Could I trouble you all for a photo op? Princess and their teams?”
Rarity’s blood turned to ice in her veins. “Photo... Op?” she whispered.
“Huzzah! Of course!” Luna bellowed, scooping up the still unconscious Rainbow Dash and propping her up with a wing. “Rarity, to Our side!”
Everpony lined up, Celestia on the right with the Archdukes and Duchesses, Luna on the left with the villagers from Ponyville. Rarity could only imagine the striking contrast between the two groups, with the nobles of Team Celestia all looking resplendent with perfectly styled manes, unsullied coats, and immaculate attire.
Team Luna, on the other hoof, consisted of a furiously blushing pegasus, a pale-faced and teary-eyed librarian still distraught over Celestia’s betrayal, a baker’s apprentice that seemed unfazed by a nonexistent audience as she rattled off name after name of suggestions, an unconscious weathermare that was slowly sliding off Luna’s wing, and a frazzled and disheveled toad of a tailor wearing a plastic smile. Next to Rarity, Applejack smiled at the cameras and bucked the empty air, looking to all the world the pinnacle of pony perfection.
Why does Applejack always have to look so good and make me look so bad?
-----
Rarity gazed wistfully at the commuter train Blueblood had bought as it chugged down the tracks and out of the station, the stallion himself smiling smugly as he waved to the crowd from a window. What she wouldn’t give to have a train with seats and proper walls. The Prince had acted the perfect gentlestallion with the Princesses around, loading up his obscene wealth onto the train without paying any heed to Rarity or her friends, and had started the engine as soon as the Princesses had departed to officially welcome the new Zebrician ambassador to Canterlot.
Team Luna couldn’t leave without the rest of their group, so Rarity had decided to use the downtime to commandeer the wash facilities of the train station. She had just finished styling her hair and had trotted outside just in time to watch Blueblood depart.
Good riddance, thought Rarity as the train chugged away. Now, time to organize my things without a screaming mob breathing down my neck.
Briskly trotting underneath the wooden awning of the station towards the dilapidated train, Rarity watched Applejack fuss over her apple crop with Mover. Rarity briefly wondered what had happened to the other stationhoof, but brushed that thought aside. She already had enough to fret about. How was she going to repair her image in the short amount of time she still had in Canterlot?
A shout of alarm shook her out of her pondering. Rarity lifted her head just in time to see herself nearly get run over by a team of zebras pulling an official-looking covered wagon. A quick hop backwards, off the street she had absentmindedly wandered onto, managed to get her out of the way of the cart. The four zebras managed to swerve away from her, somehow not overturning their vehicle in the process.
A series of no-doubt colourful Farasi phrases and insults directed at her made her blush. “I’m sorry, gentlestallions! I wasn’t watching where I was going!” Rarity called out, embarrassed.
The deep, rumbling voice of ex-ambassador Zibius rolled out of the carriage just before he did. “Rarity, how pleasurous it is to see you.” He trotted right up to her, golden jewelry clinking. “I hope you are more considerate of where your hooves take you in the future.” Behind him, a lithe, gray-maned zebra mare
“Of course, Zibius. I was lost in thought. I’m not usually like this.” That giant disk of a mane is like a built-in hat, shielding him from the sun. Genius!
“Well, Rarity, it is not a usual day, so I wouldn’t worry.” Zibius gave her a warm, kindly smile. “Would you care to escort me to my compartments?”
“Certainly, but I do hope you’re not averse to, ah, ‘roughing it.’”
The zebra furrowed his brows. “Whatever do you mean?”
Rarity led him down the station, towards the train. “Do you see that locomotive there?”
“That is our transport?” he blinked. “It looks as if will collapse at any moment!”
“I can assure you that it is sturdier than it looks.”
Zibius grinned wryly. “That doesn’t lessen my trepidation in the slightest.”
“By all means, feel free to use your vast wealth to buy a modern train all for yourself. That’s what happened to our first choice.” Rarity stopped by the stationmaster’s office. “I think I recall Twilight mentioning signing some waivers earlier.”
Her companion gave the train another once over, shook his head, and sighed. “I don’t doubt that. Very well.” He moved inside, cocking his head to let his magnificently styled mane through the door.
“Do you think he’s regretting coming along?”
Rarity turned around to see the blue-coated marine merchant from the night before. “Aquamarine!”
“Because looking at that thing, I wouldn’t trust it to go two kilometres, let alone two thousand.” Aquamarine had traded her dress for a pair of saddlebags, and had changed her mane into a bun instead of letting it letting it fall free.
“You’ve come to see us off?” asked Rarity.
“Yes and no. I’ve decided I’d rather sit on my rear for a few months than pay a captain to do it for me. Besides, I have an accountant here that can manage well enough while I’m gone.” Aquamarine chewed on a single strand of hair that had escaped the bun. “I think I’ll put Wavecutter up in drydock in Seaddle and see what I can do to improve her while you’re gone, and I like to do my work hooves-on. I overheard you mention something about safety waivers for that deathtrap?”
Another unexpected passenger? I hope that train can handle the extra stress. The stationmaster has the papers, I think.” Rarity opened the door for the other unicorn with a burst of magic. “You have enough supplies in those bags?”
“Thank you. I once spent two months marooned on an island with nothing but a shipment of mushroom jerky to eat, and my client wrote off the cargo as lost when we didn’t show at port. Flotsam rules came into effect, and now I’m the proud owner of a lifetime supply of jerky sticks. I can say, through personal experience, that it only takes one stick to fill you up for the day.” She patted the black bags at her side. “Never leave home without them. Every ship in my fleets got an emergency supply.” That zebra, what’s his name again?”
“Zibius.”
Aquamarine nodded her head. “Right. I hope this isn’t a mistake.”
Rarity almost said ‘Me too,’ before she caught herself. Instead, she let her acquaintance trot past as she looked over to the train. Applejack had stopped meticulously stacking her barrels and crates to help the zebras load up their luggage, which included a truly ancient looking desk. Intricately carved with zebra glyphs and decorated on all sides with tribal markings, Rarity surmised it was the most expensive object on board.
The sound of multiple hooves coming around the corner alerted Rarity to the sight of more ponies she recognized from last night. Greased Palm, Wealthwise, and Loose Lips rounded the corner, each of them looking around the station.
“Yoo hoo, over here,” Rarity called out, grabbing their attention. The trio trotted over, glancing dubiously at the train where zebras were loading their cargo. Rarity decided she’d get ahead of their questions.
“Yes, that’s our train, no, none of us are particularly trusting of its construction nor optimistic about our comfort in the days ahead, there are some papers you all need to sign before you come aboard in this office, here,” she finished, pointing inside the door.
“Uh, thanks?” offered Palm, not missing a step as he turned into the door.
Loose Lips, however, stopped dead in her tracks. “Do you know how unlucky I am? One time I was reading by candlelight, fall asleep, and BAM, my rooms on fire and I’m out my security deposit!”
Rarity pursed her lips, trying not to laugh at the squeaky voice. “Actually, that sounds entirely fores-”
“If I get on that thing, I’ll be killed within the hour, maybe less.” A sigh escaped the translator. “But, if I stay, I’ll be here, in Canterlot, with every street corner reminding me of that stupid idiot.”
Wealthwise looked around, trying to find the pony Lips was talking about. Rarity did the same. The stallion turned to the curvaceous mare. “Who are you talking about?”
“Nopony! I don’t want to talk about it.” With a huff, Loose Lips stormed into the office. “Where are those stupid papers?”
Wealthwise and Rarity shared a look, the lime-green gentlestallion looking slightly lost. “I think,” Rarity began, “that our little filly there has some coltfriend issues.”
“You don’t say?” Wealthwise hummed a tune Rarity couldn’t place. “To be young again. Are you seeing anypony?”
Rarity looked the aged stallion up and down, taking in his sagging jowls and ugly checkered suit that clashed horribly with his coat. “No, but I’m not looking for one.”
His face went flush with red. “Oh! I didn’t mean that, er, you and I, ah...” Wealthwise trailed off. “I’m happily married. Was, happily married. I’m a widower. I’m not looking, either, though.” he coughed. “Have you seen Dusty Ruin? I have some things I wish to discuss with him.”
Smiling, Rarity lifted a hoof towards the engine. “He’s probably with Fair Wind and the train engineers looking over the arcano-generators.”
“Right!” he shuffled off, leaving Rarity alone. I wonder for how long?
“Ah, Rarity, there you are!” came the cultured voice of Fancypants.
Rarity turned to greet her friend, and was shocked to see Fancypants and Fleur both carrying bulky white bags emblazoned with their cutie marks.
“Don’t tell me you’re both coming too!”
Fancypants and Fleur looked at each other, then back to Rarity. “Coming too? What gave you that idea?” asked Fleur.
“But, you’ve both packed,” said Rarity, motioning towards the bags.
“These old things?” Fancy opened the clasp on his bag and opened it for Rarity. Inside was a ball and swimming gear. “After seeing you all off, myself and Fleur are hitting the gym! I always enjoy a rousing game of water polo!”
“And I do love playing some badminton, when I’m not watching the polo players,” added Fleur with a wink.
Rarity breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank Celestia! Not that you wouldn’t be welcome to come, but the train is getting rather close to capacity.”
“Ha!” Fleur chuckled. “You’d have better luck convincing me to wrestle a minotaur than getting me to board that thing.”
“The trick is to wait for the charge and aim for the knees.”
How does one come by that knowledge? “It’s nice to see you both, but I have to ask you to be kind when you see the photos in the paper.” Rarity shuddered. “We were all caught at a bad moment. Do you think you could sabotage the presses, Fancy?”
“That bad, eh?” The mustached trendsetter shook his head. “Not without weeks of preparation and planning, I’m afraid.”
“I suppose nopony can be perfect.”
Fleur slid sensually across Fancy’s back, nuzzling his neck with hers. “Oh, I think he comes quite close,” she purred, batting her eyelashes.
Rarity felt a twinge of heartache at the display. She crushed it mercilessly beneath her metaphorical hoof. “You’d be the one to know, dear.”
Fancy easily slipped out of Fleur’s embrace. “Seeing the state of your transport makes me want to lend you my airship, Rarity,” he started, causing Rarity’s heart to soar to heights she didn’t know existed. “But I doubt it would be able to carry a quarter of your cargo. Weight restrictions are rather tight up in the air, I’m afraid.”
Zibius emerged from the station office, coming between Rarity and the other two unicorns. “Pardon me,” he said, quickly moving forward.
Fancypants shook his head. “No, kind sir, pardon us! We’re the one’s talking in front of a door!” He quickly matched pace with the zebra, tossing his head to let the mares behind him know to follow. “I trust you and the eminent Dr. Ruin will show these youth the wisdom of experience.”
Zibius let out a rumbling chuckle. “I don’t see how years of politics in Canterlot is applicable to journeying to my homeland.”
“Well, you got yourself here somehow, didn’t you?”
The ex-ambassador came to a stop next to the train’s cargo doors, as he watched his retinue carefully load his possessions. “I think my trip north was a bit more luxurious than what will experience on this journey.”
Fancypants grinned widely. “Don’t sell yourself short, ambassador.”
“I never do. But I know my limitations as well as my aspirations.” Suddenly, he turned and shouted at one of his mares in Farasi. He turned back to the unicorns. “If you would excuse me, I need to ensure that my things are properly secured. Some are quite old and delicate.”
Rarity stayed with Fancypants and Fleur on the platform for a few minutes, chatting. Fancypants promised her that he would forward any letters addressed to her, as well as any pertinent news, to Seaddle, and hopefully Aquamarine would be easy to convince to direct her messages from there. Rarity hoped her journey would be dull enough to allow for hours of uninterrupted dressmaking, but she had her doubts.
Just look at everything that’s happened before we’ve even left Canterlot. She eyed the holes in the side of the train, being hastily boarded up by some pegasi in hard hats. I doubt I’ll be able to focus on tailoring with an awful draft running through the train. If events unfold the way they have been, we’re sure to catch some of the storms that blow through the Crossing, and I couldn’t risk heaving all over my fabrics. She sighed as Fleur laughed at one of Fancypants’ jokes. I’ll have to wait to Cervidas to get any work done. Hopefully Fair Wind’s train is in one piece.
“Rarity? Equestria to Rarity?” The fashionista blinked as a pale pink hoof waved past her eyes. “Are you there?”
“I’m sorry, Fleur, I’ve been daydreaming a lot, recently.”
“A better place to do that would be in your quarters, on the train that is about to leave.”
“Oh!” Sure enough, the work crews were flying away, and a troop of engineers were exiting the engine car, apparently finished whatever it was they were doing in there. Rarity spied Wealthwise leaving as Dusty waved him farewell.
“I suppose this is it, then.” Rarity turned to her two friends.
“Make Equestria even more proud of you, Rarity.” Fancypants gave her a hug, which she gladly returned. “Do try and leave some space in the history books for the rest of us,” he said, patting her back before releasing her.
Rarity blushed. “Oh, I’m nothing special.”
“Oh, so modest, too!” Fleur moved in to embrace her, and whispered into her ear. “Not everywhere is as peaceful as Equestria. Stay safe.” Fleur de Lis returned to Fancypants’ side.
I really should know what I’m doing. Rarity stepped onto the train not a moment too soon, as it began to slowly, grudgingly creep down the tracks.
“Try to keep that thunderhead Fair Wind in line, Rarity!” shouted Fleur over the grinding metal gears.
“And show that lout Blueblood what real class looks like!” added Fancypants.
“I’ll do my best!”
Rarity stared at the pair as they refused to turn into specks in the distance. That’s odd. The train struggled to pick up speed, the sound of metal against metal grating her ears. “Well,” she called out. “Normally this would be the part where I wave goodbye and ride off into the distance, but...”
The unicorns on the station shrugged. “Life is no storybook tale, Rarity. I thought you knew that by now.” Fleur’s voice was hard to make out over the titanic mechanical struggle going on beneath Rarity’s hooves.
Rarity thought back to the Gala. “I know.”
The sound of rusted wheels and tired pitons followed Rarity out of Canterlot.
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Like a phoenix, I rise from the ashes!
If you guys want, I can whip up a cover of Test Ponies for you all to enjoy/suffer through.
What a female dog this was to get through, but now I can get to the fun bits! We've got our set cast, the rules of engagement have been laid out, and zombies have yet to infect anypony.
Totally worth the wait! Also, you have my eternal respect for the word 'partillery!'
I can't take credit for that. I think it was a Dresden files crossover, my little denarians, that I shameless stole it from.
I'm glad to see this has updated! I agree, it was definitely worth the wait!
I really love the way that you write Pinkie, she's so entertaining and that final conversation between Fleur, Fancy and Rarity (especially those last few lines) were a nice touch and really set the tone for her departure.
Huzzah! I was afraid you've died or something.
Now, with these names, I can't help but expect that the two teams will somehow score head-to-head... but at the same time, Rarity and her friends will win. No, I don't know how this would be possible. Just intuition.
(Btw, I don't like having youtube links in fics, but that's just personal taste, I guess.)
1079808
Feel free to ignore those links, then. I don't think reading lyrics requires music to be truly effective, but I do ever so much enjoy writing them to music.
mmm sweet zombie journalists
1081535
Well, my greatest problem with youtube links in fics that when authors feel they're unable to create a writing epic/touching enough, they just throw in their favorite song and hope it'll do the work instead of them. Now you wrote a brand new lyrics to the song, and I think this is the best possible justification for having such a link in your fic, but still, everyone reads at a different speed - it wasn't easy to try synchronize the lyrics and the song, even though I actively tried to. Also, it made the reading... lagging.
(Bit of a personal problem that when my Internet connection is grumpy, it refuses to load videos. And usually I'm listening to my own music when reading, though in this particular case I wasn't.)
Also, I already said it in the past, but I love the way you handle musicals in-universe.
I've been missing you so much. . .
1084136
8|
I've always thought that one should make best use of the medium one uses, and since this IS the internet and not a paperback...
I can completely understand someone getting annoyed if music is used as a crutch, though! Your work needs to stand on it's own legs, first, before getting fancy.
1087528
I see the reason behind your standpoint, and you certainly didn't use it as a crutch. But, as everyone reads at different speeds, it's still impossible to synch the music with the lyrics...
...unless you record yourself singing it along with the music and upload it!
It would be simply marvelous, wouldn't it?
>.> mayyyyybe...
1470309
Glad you're enjoying it. And yes, I'm still working on it. College has me busier than expected, running around doing interviews, and taking up the mantle of DM for a group of friends has chewed into my time. Hopefully I'll be done with my latest project and can get back to AA again.
Reminds me of the beauty/truth philosophy debate. Well I say reminds I mean I’ve heard of it, I’ve never been involved in that kind of thing.
Disregard important plot points, focus on pillow fight. XD
Huh I reckon she’s hiding something. Odd
I love little aside details like this, the hungover RD just sitting there while flutters hides.
o.O This is some tense stuff.
I can hear the benny hill theme tune going already. This is hilarious
Ahh it’s all in the technique Miss Rarity, all in the technique.
Wow another tune so soon? Awesome. Hey what do ya know I was just listening to this recently. Definitely growing fond of Makkon
“
Oh you
It’s all about give and take Rarity.
:-D
We live in hope
And then I was sad.
Wow what a chapter!
A press gang (lol), song and the train finally leaving after a tense siege. Pretty darn good reading.
1471891
Oh sorry i didn't respond sooner, for some reason your response didn't turn up on my notifications :/
and yay!
Oh gosh i hope you don't mind my gigantic posts, it's just that the quote tags make the content take up so much more room than they normally would.
Really getting into this story.
1487973
Man today was a good day. Nailed a profile worth 20% of my year and got praised online.
I'm happy to have entertained you!
1490722 What do you mean nailed a profile worth 20% of your year?
1498907
I'm enrolled in a journalism course, and I got 95% on a assignment to create a personality profile on someone you've never met. I talked with a software engineer, had to pare down my original 2300 word article to 700 words, and got 19/20, the best mark in the class.
Today I was at a city council meeting, asking questions on anti bullying legislation and budget process reform. Tonight I'll be interviewing a teacher on his views, hopefully.
I'm really enjoying the course.
1499120
Personality profile? Though cutting down 2300 words to 700 doesn't sound too easy.
huh a journalism course, that would explain the press charge thing in that last chapter.
Is it a long course?
1499194
Two years. So far it's been quite entertaining and enlightening!
I've had this on my to-read list for some time now, back when it was just four chapters long and not six. Today, I resolved to give it a read, if only in the hopes to give myself a little creative jolt and some energy to write. I loaded up the url on my ipad, sat back, and began to read.I must say...
I was not disappointed.
No, that is an understatement, and a severe one. I was and am very impressed by this fic! I could give a more exhaustive analysis of just the grammar and narrative - perhaps when you do submit it to EQD, I will do just that among the prereaders - but I think you want more of a creative analysis and response? First, though, I have to say that I was impressed right off the bat by your command of and familiarity with solid, narrative description. Emotional responses and setting of the scenes are all provided with a very rich substance in this, making it so easy to visualize, especially in the actions and reactions of the characters. Kudos for that. I often slack in it myself - sad to admit - especially when I'm working around thickly packed dialogue and omniscient POV scenes.
But, interestingly, so much of this fic made me think of my own works and draw fun contrasts. Right off the bat, Luna's scheme made me think of the Terre Rare in TPC, and the phrase 'be careful what you wish for.' Cruciger did something similar with his own children, making them 'earn' their places rather than be handed them by order of birth, and the result was three competent, competitive but generally ruthless siblings and one turned into an emotional wreck by her inability to compete. That is always the down side of competition: it can be as winnowing as it is healthy, and it inevitably favors those willing to go to an extreme, in business, politics, or war. It isn't a coincidence that the most successful types are often the most obsessive or unlikeable. In fact, I'd say almost no great business leader, politician, or general has been a very likeable human being. Their greatness is generally despite their abrasiveness.
So really, Equestria's peacefulness over the last thousand years is as much a boon as a curse. It has created what seems to be a stagnant aristocracy, in Luna's view, but also a country without threats or enemies. Complacent, perhaps, but imagine the alternative. As Luna herself describes, she wants to create a 'House of Commons' and we all know the LOVE that the House of Lords and House of Commons have had for one another over the centuries on that fair British Isle. Ponies are inherently more peaceful and harmonious types, but few groups willingly let themselves march into the dark void of irrelevance, and the bitter taste of betrayal always comes from love. After all, there can be no betrayal without trust and affection, and I can very much see how this would appear to be one. A thousand years of peace, rewarded by a stab in the back? Not to mention that it also appears to be a clear play for power, if the aristocrats are firmly Celestia's Men, then it gives the impression that Luna is setting up her own uplifted power base. Much like those leaders across the centuries who rewarded their supporters with grants of seized land, either from the boated church or political enemies. Redistribution rarely lacks for bloodshed.
You see how these chapters have me thinking this and that, comparing and contrasting and questioning things. So fun!
Politics aside, now, there are a few other things I wanted to say while reading on the ipad. The characters! Especially the mane cast. You don't so much have a handle on them; you've expressed them in print so damn well. That drinking game scene stuck out, both for characterization, and also creativity. That's the second thing. You see examples of the creativity and thought sprinkled all around the fic! From names and ponyisms to bits of worldbuilding for flavor, to just clever use of dialogue. I do enjoy it!
You also have a talent for the use of music, not just as a part of the story, but as a fundamental way the characters interact with each other and the world. I had a little bit of this in TBNE myself, where the 'sensation of song' is a real thing in-verse, but here, you've taken it to another level. And, delightfully, the characters are so aware of it, too! I loved how, just this chapter, when Blueblood and his crew began their song - a sure sign that they weren't just going to be background antagonists, as the bad guys get the best musical numbers, don't they? The mane six all have little comments about what they hope the song will be. Twilight's ever-excitable and adorkable hope that she gets a singing role in 'this one' was so damned endearing. Oh, Twi.
Anyway, before I do much more than ramble on, let me conclude. With the very recent addition of Ponydora's Alicorn sequel, I have all of eleven fanfics on my favorites bar here on FIMfiction. This will be number twelve.
1945053
Having one of my favourite authors tale such an interest in my work is an honour. I'm so pleased that you've enjoyed it so far!
Luna's actions are really a quest for relevancy. Celestia's handled things beautifully for a millennial, and anything Luna would do would just be rocking the boat. So now she's justifying her actions with a renewal of government. You're correct in your analysis that Equestria really lacks any serious problems: nopony goes hungry, there are no serious exterior threats, the last two threats were put down in a couple hours, with no long-lasting disruptions to the country. Contrast that with Luna's view, to her, Equestria had just conquered a rouge state. Not only her speech is archaic, her worldview and assumptions of statehood are too. I squeal a little bit every time I re-realize that a "modern" system of government is being built by a relic, for wholly outdated reasoning.
I'm always terrified that I'm doing a poor job with characterization. No matter how much I write, I think I'm forgetting somepony or not letting them act the ways they should. That leads into my problem with trying to stuff too much in a chapter; the next chapter has been rewritten a couple times, experimenting with scenes and whatnot, and I'm tempted to just throw up the next revision, since at this point I think I'm either going to fall into the proper pacing or never get it at all.
I fucking adore TPC, btw.