On an Introvert's Introductions and Devious Deities.
As she stepped into the carpeted hallway after Twilight, Rarity’s mind was working hard, trying to come up with ways to cut down on costs or provide money for the expedition. I suppose I could use some of my rainy-day fund to purchase textiles that are native to Equestria, but rare across the sea. After all, if Aquamarine and Fair Wind were willing to put their livelihoods on the line for this, she should chip in as much as she could afford, as well.
Pausing to look around for Fluttershy, Rarity cantered after the others, trying her best to look unhurried as she swiftly moved down the hall. The thick brown carpet that muffled her hooves certainly helped the illusion. She wasn’t surprised to see no sign of the pegasus; Fluttershy had probably taken off as fast as she could, looking for a friendly face. Rarity hoped she had found one of the other girls. Just thinking about Fluttershy being alone in a large city, let alone Canterlot, gave her chills.
“I don’t think I need to stress how important it is to Equestria,” Twilight was saying to Fleur and Fancy as Rarity caught up to the group, “And to the Princess herself, that you keep this information to yourselves.”
“Not to worry, Twilight Sparkle. You and your friend’s secrets are safe with me. I’ll keep them closer to my heart than Fleur here.” That earned him a punch and a rolling of eyes from the model. “Ah, Rarity!” he said, noticing her draw near. “I knew the moment we met in the streets that you would be a mare worth bumping into, but I must admit that this wasn’t exactly what I envisioned.”
Fleur chuckled. “Liar. You just wanted to know how she was staying at Castle Canterlot.”
“I fail to see how that changes anything, my dear.” His horn glowed as he opened the door to the lobby. It hadn’t changed in the hour or so Rarity had spent in the meeting, the dark mahogany benches were still empty, and the receptionist still looked fairly bored as she sat behind her desk.
Dusty Ruin motioned for Rarity and the others to proceed to the double doors on the other side of the room, elegantly inscribed with pictures of wine glasses and tumblers. It didn’t take a genius to deduce what was behind that door. Dusty himself approached the silver-maned mare behind the desk, talking to her quietly.
Rarity frowned, thinking. “Twilight, dear, what time is it?” She used her magic to turn the handles on the door. If the financier's meeting had been scheduled for four, and Rarity had been a bit late for that, that would make it-
“Finally!” A pink blur zoomed across the room, and materialized into Pinkie Pie, hooves sticking into the chests of both unicorns. “There you two are! We’ve been waiting here for-ever!” Pinkie hooked her limbs around Rarity and Twilight’s necks and yanked them into the lounge, in a tangle of legs and manes.
“It's never just a ‘hello’ with you, is it Pinkie?” asked Twilight as she disentangled herself from the pony pile. Rarity and Pinkie Pie did the same, Rarity grumbling under her breath as she rose. Pinkie didn’t seem to notice, instead just bouncing away towards the bar, Twilight in tow.
Rarity collected herself, ignoring the grins on the faces of Fancy and Fleur behind her, and took in her surroundings The lounge shared in its construction the same dark, polished wood that the rest of the building consisted of. On the walls hung yellowing, exotic paintings of far-flung locales, and from the low, raftered ceiling hung even more tapestries. Rarity would of repainted some of the wood, just to offset the muddy tones that dominated the place. Short staircases at either end of the room granted access to the raised dais that bisected the the lounge into two parts. The lower half of the room was a open dance floor that could easily double as a stage for presentations. The upper portion contained the bar, currently staffed by a orange-maned, tan-coated pony, and about a dozen tables, of which only one was occupied.
Quickly dusting herself off, Rarity trotted up the stairs and towards the table. Rarity was simultaneously relieved and surprised to see Fluttershy sitting there, and moved in close to give the pegasus a hug. “Fluttershy, I’m happy you found Pinkie! I was worried about you!”
Fluttershy returned the embrace with gusto. “Oh, thanks Rarity, but I didn’t really find Pinkie. She found me.” Pinkie does have a habit of sneaking up on you when you least expect it, thought Rarity. Breaking the hug, Rarity looked at the other patron at the table, an old, sparsely plumed white griffon with talons black as the night sky.
“Who’s your friend?”
The slamming of six mugs of bubbly cider startled her. “The best introductions are made with a mug in hoof, Rarity!” Pinkie Pie had, in a feat of physical dexterity, managed to set down all five mugs onto the table without spilling a drop. “If you find you have nothing to say, you can just take a drink! How cool is that? Now quit your yakkin’ and get to quaffin’!” The outrageously pink pony stuffed Rarity’s hoof into the handle of the mug before rapidly pulling out a chair for the three other ponies that had yet to take a seat.
The griffon spoke, his voice low and harsh. “Raptor Alder Briskwind, of the Draftavar Eyrie.” His back straightened and the feathers on his chest puffed out as he reached across the tabled to give Rarity’s hoof a shake. The talons almost drew blood. Rarity was about to introduce herself when he continued on. “I’ve been learning a lot about what to expect from this little adventure from your friends here.” His amber eyes shone as he swept a predatory gaze over Rarity’s friends, then closed as he brought the cider to his beak.
What an unsettling griffon. Rarity chided herself. You don’t know anything about griffons, Rarity. Don’t be so quick to judge. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr Briskwind.” At the mention of his name, Briskwind abruptly stopped drinking and brought the mug crashing onto the table. Did I offend him somehow? “I apologize if I did something t-”
“Drink.” Her clumsy apology was interrupted by Briskwind’s curt command.
“I’m sorry if-”
“Drink.” This time it was more of a growl than spoken Equestrian. Bringing her mug to her lips, she glanced at the rest of the table. Pinkie Pie had just returned with a mug for herself, plopping down in between Fluttershy and the griffon, and seemed oblivious to the winged predator’s aggressive bearing. Fluttershy looked alarmingly unconcerned, and both Fleur and Fancy were looking just as confused as she felt.
Once she had started to partake in some delicious cider, Briskwind continued. “Good. Now, listen. One: I don’t like you. You’re soft, cuddly, cute, and most importantly, weak. I don’t like weak things. Two, I-did I tell you to stop drinking?”
Rarity froze, mug a scant centimetre away from her lips. Slowly, she brought it back up, eyes locked onto Briskwind’s. Next to her, Fancypants coughed, and was no doubt about to speak up for Rarity, but he was silenced by a harsh stare from the griffon. Rarity began to drink down her cider again. It wasn’t quite as tasty as before.
“Good, you’re a fast learner. That’s something, at least.” Briskwind paused, then launched back into his list. “Two: I am a Raptor serving His Late Majesty, Guntram, and you will address me as such. Three: I’ve found myself responsible for keeping you miserable ponies alive on this little vacation we’re all going on, so I would greatly appreciate if you did exactly as I say for the foreseeable future. Four: Don’t talk to me. I don’t want to be your friend, and your inane chatter fails to amuse me.” He leaned back in his chair, eyes closed and arms crossed, with mug in talon. Rarity had drained half her mug, and was feeling a bit heady.
The only sound in the room was Twilight grumbling at another table as she poured over the financial ledger.
Pinkie Pie leaned in close and broke the uncomfortable silence. “We were working on him when you guys showed up,” she said in a conspiratorial whisper. “Fluttershy here thinks he’s a big softie at heart.” Rarity shook the shock out of her head and looked over at the other unicorns at the table. Fancypants lips were pursed and his brows furrowed, while Fleur looked ready to toss her drink in the griffon’s face at the slightest encouragement.
“Sir, I bel-” Fancypants barely opened his mouth before being cut off.
“Impressive, breaking two rules in a single word.” The griffon’s eyes briefly flickered open to glare at Fancypants before closing again. “I won’t tell you again. I don’t want to chit-chat, and you will call me Raptor Briskwind. Not sir, gentlegriffon, or any other foolish honorific you can come up with.” He leaned back further in his chair and downed some more of his cider.
What an abrasive being. Apparently this ‘Raptor’ Briskwind was to be their protector. He certainly looked the part. Rarity didn’t know much about feathered creatures, but even she could see the reason much of his plumage was missing was due to the numerous scars that crossed his face and body. Rarity knew even less about the Talon Kingdoms than she did about avians, but she had heard it was a harsh, cold, unforgiving place. Most places were, compared to Equestria. She wondered how a clearly military griffon would and could be hired to protect an Equestrian archaeological team. Luckily, common sense trumped curiosity and she vowed to ignore Briskwind for the rest of the evening.
“Wow, this place sure isn’t thumping.” Pinkie pie made her sage observation as she leapt back from the table, mug perched on her head. Rarity was inclined to agree, noticing how empty the place was. “You know what would liven things up?” she asked as she turned to Fluttershy.
A party, thought Rarity as Fluttershy echoed her thoughts.
“A drinking game!” Pinkie’s smile was as wide as her face would allow. She let it recede into a sly grin. “I bet you all thought I was going to say party, didn’t you?” Fluttershy gave an earnest nod. “While I’m one step ahead of you!” She looked over to the adjacent table. “You wanna play too, Twilight?” The only reply she received was muttered grumbles and the scratching of a pen.
“What are the rules of this... drinking game, Miss Pie?” Fleur had an eyebrow arched at the mug floating in front of her. encased in her magical field. Rarity had a hard time imagining a pony like Fleur de Lis drinking anything other than the finest wines, let alone getting inebriated.
“There’s only one to start! You may only use proper nouns to refer to anypony.” Pinkie Pie recited the rule almost solemnly, before instantly reenergizing herself as she explained further. “Every time you break a rule, you make a new one! No staying quiet and/or still the whole time! Last pony still standing wins!” She was practically quivering in excitement.
“It feels like a lifetime since I last participated in a soiree of this nature!” Nothing fazes you, does it, Fancy? He grinned, but then looked around the lounge. “Wins what, exactly?” Rarity was puzzled as well. Unless Pinkie was hiding her prize in her poofy mane, not entirely impossible, there was nothing nearby that could function as a trophy. Not anything visitors would be allowed to leave with, anyway, after looking at some of the paintings on the wall again.
“The best prize of all!” Pinkie Pie gave a little hop of glee. “You get to...” She stuck a hoof in her mane and retrieved a black marker from the frizzy disaster. “Draw on everypony else that’s passed out!” She tossed the marker onto the table. “Begin!”
Rarity swore she heard a gust of wind sweep through the lounge, accompanied by a low whistle. I thought these things had more... structure to them. She had never been one to engage in activities like this growing up. Being an aspiring dressmaker left her too busy with her tailoring to waste a whole night getting drunk, but she had enjoyed a stiff drink to calm her nerves every now and then. She was quite proud of her own private stock, safely hidden away from Sweetie Belle’s ever prying eyes underneath a false drawer.
Fancypants spoke first. “This reminds Fancy of Fancy’s younger days. Pinkie Pie has picked a true classic.” He raised his mug in a salute to the baker’s apprentice.
Raising a hoof to her face and fluttering her eyelashes, Pinkie looked to all the world a flattered, distinguished lady. “Thank you, sir.” Seeing the grin that spread across the unicorn’s face, Pinkie gasped. “Oh no! That’s two!” She shook her free hoof at Fancy. “Clever Fancypants. New rule! No magic!”
Three magical auras floating three mugs in the air quickly disappeared, but not quick enough for Pinkie Pie. She pointed at the three unicorns at the table and motioned for them to join her in guzzling a drink. Rarity complied, thinking. Does that mean we all make a new rule? I don’t see how anypony could still be sober after twenty minutes of this, let alone a whole night. Rarity feared for the fate of the safety meeting.
“Fleur knows the rule that would crush the Equestrians at the table and secure victory, but will decline to use it. Instead...” She paused, thinking, then smiled as inspiration struck. “The table must speak with a Prancian accent.” Rarity breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn’t nearly fluid enough in Fleur’s language to avoid having to down her mug every time she spoke, but could fake the accent reasonably well.
“Fancypants decrees that no words may be spoken unless all hooves are removed from any and all mugs at the table.”
“Rarity says all sentences must be statements.” Rarity wanted to smack herself with a hoof. Was she trying to get drunk?
“Trick-zee unicorns.” Pinkie’s fake prancian was awful, especially combined with the high falsetto she decided to pair it with. “Fluttairshy, tell us what you think ov Canterlot, zee city on zee ‘ill.” It was worse than awful. It was atrocious, offensive even. Rarity looked over at Fleur, who was hiding her face behind her mug, shoulders heaving in barely contained mirth.
“Pinkie Pie needs to take a drink.” Fluttershy’s accent was almost as good as her own, Rarity thought. The pegasus pointed towards Fleur’s hoof, wrapped around her mug.
“Suck le blue! Again, Pinkie ‘as to drink!” Rarity had to crack a smile at the pronunciation. From Fleur’s corner of the table came the sound of a pony struggling for breath in between bouts of silent laughter. “It pains Pinkie to do zhis, but zee new ru-all is no laughing at Pinkie’s accent!” She turned back to Fluttershy. “Zhee table awaits your answer.”
Fluttershy’s voice was soft, but Rarity could tell she was trying not to laugh. “It is... nice.” Fluttershy was smart to keep her sentences short and clipped. There was less opportunity to break rules that way.
“Fancypants is interested to know just how Fluttershy appreciates the city’s architecture and culture.” Clearly, somepony didn’t want Fluttershy to get off easy.
“Oh! Umm... Fluttershy appreciates the street planning, especially compared to Ponyville. Back home, ponies just built wherever they wanted to live.”
Pinkie jumped out of her seat and stuck a hoof at Fluttershy. “You used ‘they!’ Take a drink!”
Grinning, Rarity poked Pinkie in the side. “Pinkie Pie failed to speak in an accent, talked when Fancypants held a mug in hoof, and addressed Fluttershy using a pronoun. Three drinks.” I’m getting the hang of this.
Looking at her nearly empty mug, Pinkie frowned. “I must procure more drinks for zee group.” Realizing what she said a second after she opened her mouth, she raised a angry hoof into the air. “Pronouns!” she cursed.
The whole table, sans Briskwind, laughed.
-----
Twenty minutes and two mugs later, Rarity was definitely feeling tipsy. Fleur had proven masterfully adept at staying within the rules of the game, even managing to avoid the alcoholic attractor that was ‘continue speaking until another pony speaks.’ She was still on her second round. Fancypants had a lazy smile on his face, no doubt a result of the three empty mugs in front of him. He had fallen easy prey to ‘address the Raptor whenever you speak.’ It seemed that Fancy couldn’t help but look his conversational partners in the eyes when he spoke. Despite the seven empty containers in front of her, Rarity could identify no discernible difference between past Pinkie and present Pinkie. Rarity was immensely proud of herself when she determined that, logically, Pinkie would of built up a huge resistance to apple cider as a result of her mass purchases from Applejack each year. Fluttershy had displayed the cunning of a goddess by excusing herself to the little filly’s room, moments before Pinkie had banned anypony from leaving the table.
Now, Fancypants was desperately speaking nonsense, while trying to keep his accent from turning into a incomprehensible, slurred mess. He pleaded with the one hoof he was still free to move about for somepony to speak up and let him stop talking.
“What in tarnation is goin’ on here?” Rarity turned, careful to leave three hooves touching the table, to see Applejack and Rainbow Dash standing right behind her. Fancypants let out a sigh of relief. Rarity turned back towards the griffon in the corner before responding.
“This table is engaged in a game of imbibement.” Rarity was careful to not use the same word twice in a sentence. “If either one of the sober mares wishes to join, take a seat and begin drinking.” Passed in flying colours, Rarity. “Rarity must speak until another individual enunciates aloud. The rules of the table will be shared upon acceptance of - Pins and needles!” she swore. Pride comes before the fall, Rarity.
Rainbow Dash sat down at Fluttershy’s vacated spot as Rarity drank deeply from her draught. “Alright! A drinking game! Is this part how we’re introducing ourselves?” Rarity looked at the rest of the table. They were likely, as she was, trying to calculate just how many rules the pegasus had broken. For her part, Rarity was far too drunk to get past seven.
“Pinkie Pie regretfull-aie informs Rrrainbow Dash zat zhee numbair of ru-alls broken totals tirteen, numairing indentical-aie to drinks owed.”
“What?”
“Zhevanteen!”
“I don’t understand anything you’re saying Pinkie. Are you feeling alright?” Rainbow Dash leaned in close to Pinkie, inspecting her. The rest of the table let out various sounds of awe. Dash is in for a world of cider. Rarity giggled, thinking to herself. More cider than she could dream in all her days of thinking! The drunk fashionista spied the bartender, eyes shining with greed, in the corner of her blurred vision. He was no doubt imagining the lengthy drink debt Rainbow Dash was accruing with every word she spoke.
Unfortunately for him, Twilight and a pack of ponies, Dusty Ruin included, appeared in a flash of sparkling magic on the lower level of the lounge. All but Twilight looked quite disoriented. When did she leave? Rarity’s mind was growing duller with every rule broken.
Twilight looked at the table, littered with the discarded mugs of the intoxicated participants. “What the? I leave you ponies alone for a few minutes, and you get completely loaded!” Her horn glowed, and the massive pile of vessels floated over to the bar. Rarity managed to hold on to her drink, carefully avoiding using magic to do so, as Twilight continued to speak. “I expected this from Pinkie Pie, but you, Rarity? Rainbow Dash? Applejack? You’re as bad as a bunch of freshmares!” She stamped her hooves in frustration. “Here I was, hoping to make a good impression with the rest of the team, but noo, you all have to make us look like a bunch of juvenile foals!”
“We were just ‘aving a good time!” Pinkie sounded hurt. Prancian, but also hurt.
Fleur shot Twilight an angry glare. “Who are you to decide how we should celebrate?”
“We jus’ got here!” complained Applejack as Rainbow Dash nodded in agreement.
“And who-” Fancypants cleared his throat and dropped his accent. “Who are these fine, upstanding ponies you’ve brought?”
A large part of Rarity was angry at Twilight for being a wet blanket, but a small, sober part of her wanted to thank the librarian for stopping things when she was still cognizant of her surroundings.
The bartender likely wanted Twilight to wait five minutes before she arrived, crushing his dreams of rolling in bits.
Twilight Sparkle huffed, before deciding to choose Fancy’s question to answer. “This,” she said, stepping aside to present an old, bespectacled lime-green earth pony in a red and yellow checkered suit, “is Wealthwise, chief financial officer of the Royal Archaeological Society.”
He gave a curt nod. “Hello.”
“This,” Twilight continued, enveloping Wealthwise, startled and kicking at air, in her telekinetic aura and shoving him off to the side, “is Greased Palm, his assistant.” Odd name, thought Rarity.
The copper pegasus gave a quick bow. “Call me Greasy, all my friends do.” His blue mane made him look like a rusty coin, which Rarity was surprised to also see on his flank. And they say too much drinking makes you stupid. I’m making connections I never would sober!
“Greasy will be accompanying us on our voyage across Eternity’s Crossing. He’s had plenty of experience dealing with the... unique monetary dealings that are required for business to be done on that side of the ocean.”
A harsh, barking laugh came from the griffon in the room. “That’s a pretty way to say bribes.” Rarity was momentarily stunned that their ‘talking totem’ was more than the statue the table had to address. Then she remembered he was a living, breathing creature. Perhaps ‘they’ are right about liquor after all.
Suddenly, a bright light shone upon Briskwind, originating from Twilight’s horn. Rarity and the other ponies at the table covered their eyes at the harsh light. “This, everypony, is Raptor Aven Briskwind, formerly in service to the late King Guntram of the Talon Kingdoms, now entrusted with the safety and security of this expedition.”
Briskwind stared into the light, unblinking. “If you’re trying to intimidate me, sorceress,” he growled. “You’ve failed.”
Twilight stared at the Raptor for a moment before shaking her head. My, her mane is a tangled mess! Twilight’s been stressing over everything, from that ledger to these introductions, since that meeting earlier. “Sure, fine, whatever.” She turned back to the other ponies she had brought with her, Greased Palm quickly getting out of the way. “Next is Loose Lips, who will be our primary translator in Cervidas and Camelu.”
With a curled, stylish mane, turquoise but streaked with white, and her baby blue coat, Loose Lips certainly cut a striking figure. Certainly in comparison to Twilight’s current condition. She was as well-muscled as Applejack, if a bit curvier in all the right places to attract (or distract) the eyes of a stallion. “A pleasure to meet you all. It is my greatest wish that we return with a treasure worthy of the admiration of all of Equestria.” Her voice cracked with every fourth word.
Rarity stifled a laugh. She’s squeakier than Sweetie Belle! Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash failed to contain their snickers. Loose Lips’ pleasant smile turned into an annoyed grimace. “No, I’m not aware of the humour inherent in the contradiction of my appearance and voice. No, it hasn’t gotten old yet, you’re the first to realize it. Ha ha.” Her voice was flat and emotionless, but still sounded squeakier than the rusted sewing machine Rarity received when she was still a foal.
“It might help if you would use smaller words,” offered Rainbow, trying to be helpful. Loose Lips just stared at her in response.
“I wish I could make ponies smile just by talking! Usually I have to resort to jokes!” Pinkie Pie didn’t even get the courtesy of a glare. Pinkie always sees the silver lining.
“Moving on,” said Twilight, rolling her eyes. “I’m sure you all already know Dusty Ruin?” she asked, pausing. A chorus of affirmatives rang out. “Good.” A zebra brought up the rear, the golden rings he wore clinking softly as he climbed the short set of stairs up. “May I present Zibius, Ambassador of Zebrica and honoured guest of Celestia.”
Unlike Zecora, the only other zebra Rarity had ever seen, who styled her hair into a simple mohawk, Zibius wore his mane in the most exotic fashion Rarity had ever seen. He had a simple golden band, located just behind his ears on the top of his head, that collected the entirety of his mane into a giant, flat disk that stretched half a metre in radius. He would never need Pinkie’s umbrella hat with a mane like that. A mane like that couldn’t possibly be mundane, but Rarity could detect no enchantments on the band or the hair itself. I’m not exactly at my best, she thought admittingly. Rarity knew that every zebra’s glyph on their flank was as unique and important as a cutie mark, but all she saw was a mess of shapes and lines.
“Before you ask, Pinkie, he does not know Zecora.” Twilight’s words made Pinkie freeze, question dying on her half-open lips.
Zibius gave a low, long bow. “Ex-ambassador, Twilight Sparkle.” His voice was rich and creamy, like caramel poured over chocolate. “It is fortunate that you are leaving on such a journey. It has been many years since I have seen the beautiful fields of the savannah, and now that my duties here are complete, I am eager to return home.”
“Did you get fired?” Rainbow Dash asked, before flinching in pain. She glared at Applejack. “What was that for?”
The zebra chuckled. “No, chromatic one. My years here have simply grown long, and I desire to return to my homeland. My replacement arrived a fortnight ago.”
Loose Lips decided to squeak up. “The ambassador has graciously offered to improve my understanding of Farasi language on the trip south.”
“Not only will Zibius be accompanying us, he’ll be bringing along his family and retinue.” Twilight pointedly looked at Pinkie and Rainbow Dash. “I don’t think I need to stress the respect this close personal friend of Celestia should be shown.”
Pinkie Pie looked up from the match she was trying to light, glancing first at Twilight, then at the cannon stuffed with confetti sitting next to her. “I meet a bazillion new ponies today, and you’re going to be a super-duper-party-pooper?”
“This is serious, Pinkie. I don’t think anypony would appreciate your usual antics right now.” Twilight swept her gaze around the room. “Do you really think we have time for a party right now?”
“Right now is the best time for a party, Twilight! How can we get comfortable around each other without breaking the ice?” Pinkie Pie cocked her head, questioning the librarian. “And remember how much fun you had at your first night in Ponyville?”
“I tried to sleep through most of that, Pinkie. And this isn’t Ponyville.” Twilight’s voice had taken a hard edge. I don’t like where this is going, thought Rarity.
“You can’t argue with facts, Twilight. You had a party the first night you met all of us.” The party pony sat on her haunches and brought her hooves to her hips. “Look how well that turned out! Now everypony in Ponyville is your friend!”
“I didn’t want your stupid party in the first place, Pinkie! Now be quiet and let me finish.”
Rarity let out a gasp. She could barely believe her ears. The rest of the Ponyville folk looked just as shocked. Even the strangers in the room could tell this was a serious faux pas. Fleur met her gaze as she swept the room, giving her a look that screamed ‘See what careless words can bring.’
Pinkie Pie narrowed her eyes dangerously. “You’re nothing but a party tyrant, Twilight.” she said, shaking her head gravely. “Do you know what happens to tyrants in Equestria?” In a swift motion, Pinkie struck the match, lit the fuse, and turned the cannon towards Twilight.
Every pair of eyes in the room widened in alarm. “Vive la Revolution!” cried Pinkie, as fuse grew shorter and shorter.
Rarity was suddenly struck by something hard, then yanked towards where her memory told her a table should be. An instant later, the cannon exploded, sending a shockwave of force through the room and filling it with smoke and small, sparkling scraps. The ringing in her ears, combined with the alcohol in her system and the confetti swirling through the air, completely disoriented her. She heard a muffled shout just before a heavy weight was thrown on top of her. Whatever it was, it was squirming. Did somepony just jump on me?
A few seconds later, after she regained the use of her senses, Rarity took a look around. The first thing she noticed was the fact that she was on the ground, underneath the table she was sitting at. The second thing she noticed was Briskwind’s wild-eyed expression as he hunkered down next to her, muttering something about ‘bombers,’ and ‘getting to cover’. The third thing she noticed was the inebriated merchant gracelessly draped across her. Finally, confetti was everywhere. Rarity was dumbfounded. “What happened?”
The sound of her voice cutting through the various groans that filled the rest of the room seemed to bring the Raptor out of whatever funk he was in. He looked around, growled, and shook his head. “Stupid ponies. What kind of moron fires artillery in a bar?”
Rarity squinted at the griffon. “Did... did you throw everypony under the table?”
“Maybe. What does it matter?” he growled in response.
Shrugging off the still dazed Fancypants, Rarity crawled out from under the makeshift shelter. Pinkie Pie was bouncing around a particularly dense concentration of confetti that had to be Twilight, a flag with a crossed out frowny face sticking out of it. The ponies and zebra that were at the top of the stairs had all instantly fled back down to the lower level, and were peeking through the banister at the chaos they had avoided. Dusty Ruin had been standing right next to Twilight when the cannon had gone off, and had suffered the worst collateral damage. He seemed to be some sort of half-pony half-party animal hybrid, glittering like a disco ball as he blinked to get the irritants out of his eyes.
“Consarnit, Pinkie, ya didn’t have t’ be so direct.” Applejack’s head popped up from the other side of the table. Pinkie stopped bouncing around, and stuck her tongue out at the farmer.
“Granny Pie always said that when somepony’s being cranky, they usually just need some nappy time.” She looked fondly at her party cannon, a wisp of black smoke rising from its mouth. “And I have yet to find a problem that can’t be solved by applying judicious amounts of party favours to it!”
Cracking his back and moaning in pain as he appeared out from under the table Fancypants used his magic to clean the stray bits of confetti off his jacket. “Copious amounts of cider and dangerous explosives? It feels as if I’ve gone back in time.” He leaned his head back under the table, nudging Fleur. “Are you alright, dear?”
A most undignified grunt originated from under the table. “Equestrians. I find myself in agreement with our rough griffon friend. Who would use explosives indoors? A madmare!”
Dusty Ruin gave Pinkie a smile, flecked with glitter. “Ha! I hope there’s more of that spunk and can-do attitude left in you, young lady! A bit of that sprinkled into our adventure and it will be the journey of a lifetime!” He walked over and lightly punched her side. Not all of us are looking for that one last exciting adventure before retirement, Dusty, thought Rarity. And Celestia knows that encouragement is the last thing Pinkie needs.
“Any more ‘spunk,’ and I’d be enjoying some unicorn meat, seasoned with black powder.” Briskwind sounded both disappointed and angry. Rarity tried to derail the train of thought that followed that statement as hard as she could.
“Don’t you worry, Rappy! I’ve tested this loadout hundreds of times, and never had any serious, permanent injuries!” Rarity found the metal image of Pinkie standing in front of a cannon as she lit it far preferable to what her imagination did with ‘Rappy’s’ comment.
“Wonderful. I’m looking forward to spending three months trying to keep you from killing yourself.”
“Great! I love having griffons look out for me! In fact, I love having anyone look out for me!” Pinkie’s smile and good cheer stood their ground against Briskwind’s sarcasm.
The Raptor turned to Dusty Ruin. “I think this one is far more lethal than any wild beast we’ll come across. All I need to do to clear our path is fly ahead of the group and warn those beasties that she’s coming to them.” He lifted a talon to his temple. “Permission to leave, Ruin?”
Nodding his head, the archaeologist watched the griffon step over Twilight’s unconscious form and out the doors. He nudged Twilight with a hoof, then turned to Pinkie Pie. “I think he’s warming up to you, Pinkie. Usually it takes a week or two for him to start using sarcasm, but you accomplished that in less than a hour!”
Pinkie gasped in delight. “Really! I didn’t even have to sing a song to get him to like me? Usually I have to sing a song! Or throw a party. Either or works, really. Sometimes, for the really stubborn ponies, I have to do both. This one time, I had to get cursed to make a friend!” Rarity tuned out Pinkie’s chatter and looked to the others.
Wealthwise was laughing at Greased Palm, no doubt relishing the fact that he would be staying safe and comfortable in Canterlot while his assistant got his hooves dirty. Loose Lips was banging her head against the wooden wall, likely wondering just what she had signed up for. The ex-ambassador was busy shaking the party favours out of his strange mane, but Rarity thought she saw the ghost of a smile on his face.
Rainbow Dash trotted up to Dusty. “Are we done here?” she asked. She beat her wings to clear off the confetti covering Twilight, causing the flag to lose its support and fall to the ground.
Dusty Ruin looked at Pinkie Pie. “She does this sort of thing often?”
“All the time. I’m pretty sure Ponyville has more parties and celebrations, complete with the full Pinkie experience, than anywhere else in Equestria.” Rainbow’s voice was filled with pride.”
“And they are all,” he gestured at the knocked out mare, “like this?”
“Pinkie really has only one setting.”
“Perfect!”
Applejack moved over to the purple unicorn sprawled out on the floor, knelt down, and yanked Twilight onto her back. “Pardon, ‘scuse mah, coming through.” The ponies got out of her way, but she stopped before going through the doors. “Ah’m Applejack, by the way. Pleasure to meet y’all.” She tipped her hat. “Doc, did Twi’ happen to mention where we’re staying to ya?”
“Castle Canterlot. In her old tower, I believe. Something about ‘making it a sleepover’.”
The orange mare nodded. “Thank you sir.” she said, then pushed her way into the lobby.
Loose Lips stared at the swinging door. “The RAS will be a great way to utilize your gift for language, Loosey. Nothing bad could possibly happen to you, no, never.” She sighed.
Rarity cleared her throat. “I’ve been remiss in my introductions. My name is Rarity, dressmaker by trade. Perhaps you’ve seen one of my designs?” Blank stares. “Perhaps not. My pegasine friend here is Rainbow Dash,” she saw Rainbow puff out her chest and spread her wings at the mention of her name, “the only pegasus in living memory capable of performing a sonic rainboom.”
“And the fastest flier in Equestria!”
“Indeed. The pony busy reloading her cannon is, as you may have well picked up by now, is Pinkie Pie.” Pinkie gave a wave at the mention of her name, then returned to stuffing the cannon with recycled confetti and glitter. “She is, believe it or not, an apprentice baker. She grows on you.” The blast Pinkie Pie had set off really cleared her head.
“I’m sure I don’t need to introduce the eminent Fancypants, merchant extraordinaire, nor his lovely companion Fleur de Lis.” Rarity noticed Greased Palm as he straightened his posture at Fleur’s mention. “Unfortunately, they will not be joining us on our trek south.”
“And, finally, there is...” Rarity trailed off, searching. Where IS Fluttershy? Rarity searched her memories, trying to recall where Fluttershy disappeared to.. After a few moments, she remembered. “Rainbow Dash, would you mind retrieving Fluttershy from the fillies’ washroom?”
Pausing only to grace Rarity with a quick salute, Rainbow dashed over the the door to the bathroom.
“Fluttershy is an animal warden in our hometown of Ponyville,” Rarity continued, “And I’m sure you are all have many questions, likely involving some form of ‘what in Celestia’s name are you misfits doing on this expedition?’” The small audience looked at eachother, then hesitantly nodded. “I can assure you all that our importance and role in this journey will be revealed as Dusty Ruin sees fit.” Hoping she hadn’t overstepped her bounds, Rarity glanced over to Dusty Ruin, who was busy picking coloured flakes out of his coat. At the mention of his name, he looked up, gave an absent nod, then went back to cleaning his coat.
Loose Lips was unimpressed. “You know what? For my life, this is par for course. Mysterious mares with unknown motives and explosives is the next logical step in my inexorable descent into miserableness.”
Somepony got far too much stick and not nearly enough carrot. “Any other... comments? Questions?”
Greased Palm raised a hoof, looked at it, blushed, and brought it back down. “Any other enigmatic companions coming along besides you six?”
Rarity was about to say no, but caught herself. “I’m unsure as to the exact identities of the crew of the ship and trains we’ll be travelling on, but I understand they will be under the employ of Aquamarine and Fair Wind.” She frowned in realization that she had overlooked something. “Where is Fair Wind?” Everypony around her looked at each other in confusion.
When Rarity had last seen the pegasus, he had left for the lounge with his two friends, the gambling house ponies. But Fair Wind was nowhere to be found. “Has anypony seen a roan pegasus, yellow-maned, with a cutie mark of a loaded ship on his flank?” Her question received only shaking heads and muttered apologies in response. Perhaps his friends convinced him to see if his ‘lucky streak’ would prove profitable at their casinos?
“It is against Fair Wind’s nature to break a promise, even one as casual as this,” said Fancypants, walking up to her. “I should've noticed his absence sooner, but...” he looked at the pile of empty mugs next to the bar, and at the stallion sobbing behind it. “Cheer up, good sir! Confetti is easy to clean!” The stallion lifted his face from the bar only momentarily before it thudded back onto the polished wood.
Fleur followed behind. “You think too highly of him, Fancy.” She strode through the room towards the door, pausing only to look back and beckon Fancypants to follow. “I’m sure I’ll find him moaning about losing another hoof at the blackjack table.”
Fancypants nodded. “Best get to him before security needs too. He can be quite a hoof-full.”
Flicking her tail at his rear as he passed by, Fleur chuckled. “What kind of mare do you think I am, to let you enter a casino in such a state?” Her voice grew fainter as she left the lounge. “I know how you get with a bit of cider in you; throwing caution to the wind! If I let you in there you’d take a seat right next to him!” Fancypants’ sputtered objections were too distant to parse out.
That problem solved itself. If Rarity couldn’t trust those two with finding Fair Wind, she had made a grave error in revealing the Elements of Harmony to them. Now to see everypony off. She raised her voice and addressed the remaining ponies in the bar. “I, for one, have had quite enough adventure for one day, and I’m sure some of you must be tired as well. We should all be well-rested for our departure tomorrow at,” she paused, looking at Dusty Ruin.
“Nine, at the Canterlot station. The train departs at ten.”
“Thank you, sir.” She turned back to the group. “I know that we are not exactly what you were expecting, but I’m sure we’ll all become the best of friends by the time our journey ends.” Rarity’s best smile was probably ruined by the flakes of shredded paper in her mane, but it was better than nothing.
“Best of pals. Absolutely.” Loose Lips tossed her mane and headed out the door. You can take your attitude with you, thought Rarity.
Zibius gave a deep bow of his head. “I hope you speak words of truth, Rarity.” The gracious Zebrican followed the sullen translator into the lobby. Rarity hoped that he’d share some of his positive outlook with the mare. Celestia knew she needed it.
Pushing her snide thoughts out of her head, she turned to the last two remaining ponies on the lower level: Greased Palm and Wealthwise. “Take care, gentlestallions.” Both ponies gave a tip of their heads before leaving, chatting amicably as they did so.
And then they were five. Dusty Ruin was deep in conversation with Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash had just emerged from the bathroom with a pink and yellow mass draped across her back. Rarity raised an eye, and Rainbow answered her unspoken question.
“I found her passed out next to the stall. How much did you let her have?” The pegasus gave a low chuckle. “I’m surprised she didn’t wake up when Pinkie’s cannon went off.”
Rarity smiled and shook her head. “She had barely more than a single mug. The poor dear clearly has no tolerance for alcohol.”
“No kidding! Don’t worry though, I made sure she paid the price of defeat.” Rainbow Dash sounded smug.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you guys were playing with Pinkie Pie, right? I know how she plays.” Rainbow Dash fished a black marker out from under Fluttershy. “I wonder how long she’ll take to notice next morning?”
Rarity, fearing the worst, trotted around the wannabe Wonderbolt until Fluttershy’s head came into view. She lifted up the pink mane, but let it go and gave out a gasp. “Rainbow! How could you?”
“Hey, she knew what the risks were! She knew what would happen if she lost!”
Rarity gently moved the hair out of the way again to get a better look. “Well, at least you kept it reasonable.” Fluttershy sported a thin, black marker mustache on her muzzle. Rarity almost shocked herself when she held in her giggle.
“She’ll be fine.” Rainbow Dash tossed the marker towards Pinkie Pie. “Hey Pinkie, you coming?”
“Don’t worry about me, girls! Dusty-wusty here wants me to go over a few things with him!”
Rarity arched an eyebrow. “Like what?”
“Like how to party, Pinkie Pie style!” Dusty Ruin had the stupidest grin Rarity had ever seen on his face. “Pinkie has me quite convinced that my retirement party can and should last the three months we’ll be gone. I can’t think of any reason why I should dissuade her.”
“It’s going to be the best bowing-out bash ever!” Pinkie brought her hooves up and gave a cheer. “We can have a different cake from a local bakery every day! And play every town’s favourite game! Oh, and we can’t forget getting you presents! Although,” Abruptly halting her celebratory anticipation, Pinkie brought a hoof to her chin and scratched. “Ninety days is an awfully long time. We might run out of gift ideas before then.”
Dusty Ruin just laughed. “Don’t worry, Pinkie my dear! The only present I want is to find that tomb! Can you do that for me?”
“You bet!”
Rarity saw Rainbow Dash roll her eyes. “Come on Rarity, let’s leave these two to their planning.” The laden-down pegasus started for the door. Rarity gave one last look at the party planner and the archaeologist, shrugged, and followed Rainbow Dash out. Their conversation followed Rarity as she left.
“So, what do you prefer: balloons or ribbons? Pastries or sweets? Neon or lasers?
Travelling, Pinkie Pie style.
-----
Canterlot might shine like the sun itself during the day, thought Rarity as she floated her discarded saddlebags and placed them in Twilight’s closet, but it certainly gleams like the moon at night. The view of the city from the gigantic window of the tower was certainly breathtaking, showcasing the sleek white architecture the city was famous for. Tall, slender spires seemed to glow where the moon’s light touched the alabaster stone, and the golden ornaments that sat at their apex glimmered like the stars in the sky.
Twilight’s old haunt was a ancient, repurposed mage tower on the edge of the University of Canterlot campus. The unicorn had often told Rarity how honoured she was to be the next star pupil of Celestia, to be living in the very same tower that had housed countless others before her. Magnum Opus. Astral Aspect. Flux. Their portraits lined the room, and while they all looked, physically, very different, Rarity could tell they all fit the same mold as Twilight. Perhaps it had something to do with the blackboard filled with arcane writings behind each of the posing ponies.
The University and all of its assorted satellite buildings took up one of the great slices of Canterlot, and also served as this terrace's green space. Rarity was offered a fantastic view of all three terraces due to the tower’s height, with the crowded residential neighbourhoods lower down the mountain, and the breathtakingly beautiful royal platforms above.
This might be my last quiet moment for a while. Twilight was tucked into her bed, unconscious. Fluttershy was slumbering on a couch, with a blanket draped over her. Applejack and Rainbow Dash had challenged each other to a drinking contest at some seedy tavern one of Applejack cousin’s owned. They had both justified their ‘quest’ with the notion that they had somehow ‘missed out’ on the fun. Pinkie Pie had stayed with Dusty Ruin to hammer out a comprehensive party plan, and Rarity could only imagine the trouble that would cause later. But for now, it was just her.
Rarity fetched her collapsible drafting easel from her bags and got to work. The spectacular view of the capital at night was sure to inspire her, and she had a couple hours before it was necessary for her to retire for the evening. More than enough time to commemorate her... Rarity searched for the right word to describe her day. Interesting, I think. Inadequate, but this was a rather peculiar day. Letting her creative juices flow always calmed her down, and this night would be no exception.
Minutes turned into hours as Rarity’s pen danced across the canvas sheets. Her first iteration was far too bulky to reflect the sheer design of Canterlot, perched precariously as it was on the side of a mountain. The second was far too fragile to represent its power. The eight was a monstrosity inspired by mushrooms growing upon the trunk of a tree, born of a foolish and unsuitable visual comparison. The ninth was also inspired by mushrooms, but that draft she filed away. It had potential, just not for this project. She recalled how the castle and city had looked gussied up for the Gala, and later for Hearth’s Warming Eve, but threw out both designs halfway through. She wanted Canterlot as it always was, not when it was celebrating.
Three hours, and a basketful of scrunched paper later, Rarity had done it. The colours had been easy: White, gold and black. A tiara and matching hoofboots inspired by the royal regalia: Half creamy pearl, half midnight blue. Slight and understated shoulderpads, nothing like the ridiculous excess of a few decades ago, just enough to evoke the lithe bearing of the many turrets of Canterlot. An intricate lace hem, a latticed white and gold skirt, a black and gold corset under a gold and black blouse, oh it would be perfect! Rarity spun aimlessly around, overjoyed and excited to bring her vision into reality.
“I think some would say it would be more cohesive without the colours of the night.” Rarity stopped doing her dressmaking dance and froze. She slowly turned her head, desperately wishing that the voice she heard did not belong to whom she thought it did.
Princess Luna, the somewhat recently returned Royal Pony Sister, stood near the door, leaning against one of the many bookcases that lined the interior walls of the tower. How much had she seen? Oh my Celestia, how improper! I’ve made a fool of myself! She instantly fell into a deep bow. “Princess! I did not expect you! If I ha-”
“Calm yourself, Rarity, and rise. I am not here, truly, as a princess. And I doubt you mean to wake your companions.” Princess Luna slowly walked towards the just-completed drawing of the dress. Rarity dared not say a word, for fear of interrupting Her Majesty. Luna paused in front of the easel, and ran a hoof across the broad pen strokes that depicted the dress. “Your work is beautiful.”
“Thank you, Princess.” Rarity was still breathless. What was Luna doing here? Her mind tortured her with the worst possible things it could imagine. Did Blueblood send his aunt to punish me? Am I going to be exiled for mocking the Prince? Am I-
“Rarity.” Princess Luna’s call snapped Rarity back into reality. “I had hoped to speak to Twilight and yourself about this, but I suppose she can rest. Do you pay any attention at all to the politics of the realm?”
She had to shake her head. “I’m afraid I paid little attention to them, beyond any connection to the fashion industry. At least, not until today, Your Majesty.” What did Twilight do?
“Call me Luna, please. I am not surprised. Most ponies are content with their local elections, these days. It was different, back... in the past.” Rarity could imagine. The brief period of time she had spent pouring over history books painted a very different Equestria a thousand years ago than the one she knew. The nobility were often called upon to defend Equestria from threats political or supernatural; Everything from monstrous terrors from the bowels of the wild forests to territorial disputes with ponies that did not recognize the Regal Sisters. Both threats required certain expectations from both the nobility itself and the ponies they ruled on behalf of Celestia. “All ponies had a clear purpose. Those who would become the nobles were the first to rush headlong into any force that threatened Equestria. Many sacrificed their lives defending those who lacked the skill or conviction to fight.”
Rarity was growing confused. Did Luna pop by to give a history lesson? Regardless, she stayed quiet and let Luna continue to speak. “The vast majority of ponies that did not fight were only too eager to support those that did. The warriors wealth grew. Within a few generations those proud families were far wealthier than any farmer or craftsmare. Most, it may surprise you, were not unicorns, but pegasi. Odd, considering every Archduchess and Vicereine is a unicorn.” Rarity was surprised. If Luna was telling the truth, where are the ancient pegasus houses?
Luna answered her question. “Pegasi were called to battle Our greatest foes in those ancient days: The clans of the griffons and the varied flights of dragons that threatened Our existence. Most did not survive, but Equestria did. As the years passed, the world learned that Equestria was not to be trifled with. Only once did We have to halt the movement of the heavens, to flex Our divine strength when Our mortal subjects’ failed.” A cloud passed over Luna’s face, momentarily, but she continued after a short pause. “The nobles of that time enjoyed lives of great luxury, but they were acutely aware of their duties. That there was a price to pay for their decadence, that could be paid for at any moment. Can you, Rarity, say the same of their present ancestors?”
Rarity had a sneaking suspicion that Luna was approaching the point of her speech. “No, Your Majesty, I cannot.” She thought of Fair Wind’s frustrations on the street, of Blueblood’s actions and demeanor at every occasion she had met him, and of Ravencrest’s callous judgement at the meeting. “What happened?”
Luna’s mouth became a thin line. “I do not know, personally. I fell into my rage and jealousy just after Equestria annexed Reinice. My efforts at catching up with history have revealed that, aside from the odd territorial dispute with Prance and Germaneigh whenever somepony finds something valuable close to the border, Reinice’s defeat and occupation was the last major military action in Equestrian history.”
Rarity’s mind worked faster than any of her sewing machines. “Are you saying, Pri-,” she corrected herself, “Luna, that the reason the nobility can be such, well, snobs, is because they haven’t had anything to fight for a millenium?”
“An astute, but incorrect observation.” Luna stared out the window, straight at her moon. “I suspect their current disposition is a result of my return. Many are... fearful with my plans for the future.”
Taken aback, Rarity fell gracelessly to her rump. Quickly composing herself before the Princess could notice, she spoke, hopefully without a quiver of apprehension in her voice. “Why would the nobility be fearful of your return? Do they not realize you were cleansed of corruption?”
Luna gave a humorless laugh. “It is not Nightmare Moon they fear, Rarity,” she said, turning around to stare Rarity in the eyes. “It is Princess Luna they cower from.” Luna sighed deeply. “I had thought, except for Nightmare Night, that Celestia had done an incredible job of guiding Equestria while I was absent. For more than a year, I lived inside the archival catacombs, pouring over everything I had missed. My visit to your town was my first exposure to modern society, on the only issue I took umbrage with. After Twilight educated me on the holiday’s present incarnation, I felt I was done with the past. I wanted to shape the future.” Luna stared off to the side and above, thinking. “Where were you on that most glorious of nights?”
Images of madly stitching together four costumes at once as the sun drew ever closer to the horizon that fateful day coursed through Rarity’s mind. “Working, Your Majesty. You know how it is."
“Quite. Regardless, Celestia agreed. We planned to have me sit on the sessions of the Grand Stable, to listen to those who We trust to rule Our subjects. She still urged caution, however, and suggested I swear not to introduce any legislation for a vote, nor to pass a decree, until the night of the Winter Moon Festival. Flush with my recent success, I agreed.” Luna’s tone held bitter regret, twisted around harsh sarcasm. “How could I hope to understand the intricacies of the Stable without weeks of observation? To improve upon the structure without disturbing the framework or foundation?” Luna fell quiet, almost seething.
Rarity was struck by the frustration etched all over Luna’s immortal face. “You were... disappointed, Your Majesty?” she asked, gently.
“That is putting it mildly, Rarity. Do you wish to know the complex inner workings of Equestria’s government? How they decide which pony gets what and how much?” Luna pounded a hoof on the floor. The sound was magically muffled, no doubt by Luna herself, but the blow was powerful enough to crack the stone. “Those thoroughbred ingrates have only one decision to make: How much shall I give myself today? The selfishness and greed on display was heartbreaking, Rarity. For three weeks I held out hope that what I saw was an anomaly, I clinged to the foalish hope that what I saw was not the truth. How could townsponies like yourself live in the same world as avaricious snakes like them?”
Rarity didn’t know what to say to that. Luna herself despised the nobility?
“I tried to rouse my sister to action, but She refuses to interfere. She vowed, long ago, to let ponies guide their own fate. ‘It is Our role to protect and advise, not to command.’” Luna snorted. “Celestia refuses to see the failure of the Grand Stable. So it sits, rotting and poisoning the Equestria I love with all my being.” Storm clouds gathered around the tower, visible through the window, and Rarity saw the leafless trees sway in a stiff wind. “I would like nothing more than to tear down its shining walls and show all who dwell within the true purpose of their station, to throw them at the greatest monsters that still roam this world, and demand that they repay their long overdue debt to Equestria.”
Lighting cracked, splitting the sky, and the rumble of thunder echoed through the structure. Luna rose into the air, window at her back, and her eyes glowed with all the power the moon could muster. “I would see them stripped bare of title and privilege, to know the suffering their idle greed has caused. Celestia has warned me of my desire, called me hasty, rash, impulsive. She is a fool.” The window shattered, and wind tore through the hole, sending shards of glass throughout the room. Rarity was amazed that Fluttershy and Twilight had not yet awoken.
“The stink of the camel can be tolerated, given time. That does not make the camel smell any less repulsive. Celestia has lived with the stench of corruption for centuries, and hides it with a sweeter scent.” Luna’s eyes flickered to Twilight’s sleeping form before flashing back to Rarity. “What do you say, dressmaker? Am I hasty? Rash? Cruel?”
“I- I don’t know, your gr- Princes, I mean, Luna” Rarity stammered. Dear Celestia! She’s turning back into Nightmare Moon! Frantically, she looked for an escape, but found none. There would be no way she could outrun the winged goddess. It was a moot point anyway, as she could never leave Fluttershy and Twilight with such a villain.
“I would call myself,” Luna paused, and suddenly, the clouds, lightning, the wind, everything was gone. Rarity sensed the silencing spell has been removed as well. “Mad. Insane. Crazed, if you prefer.” The window was repaired, and the room was once again neat and pristine. Luna alighted on the smooth stone floor, and gave Rarity a wicked smile. “Have no fear, Rarity. That was all in jest.” The lunar Princess gave her a wink. “Mostly.”
Rarity stood, frozen, her heart racing. She felt her eye twitch involuntarily. “Am I to understand, Princess Luna,”, she whispered, “that everything you have said to me was a lie? That you do not, in fact, wish to tear Equestria apart with a deranged justification of ‘paying off a debt?’”
Luna gave her a waxing smile, and whispered back. “Most of my words rang true, Rarity. Only my intentions were falsified.”
“I see. In that case,” Rainbow Dash told me how much Luna had warmed up to tricks that night, but this... Rarity levitated the pillows set out for her and the rest of the group, stacked neatly in a pile in the corner. “It's time for you to repay a debt you now owe me, Princess.”
Eyes wide as saucers, Luna took a step back. “What are you planning to do with those pillows, Generosity?”
Rarity emulated the evil, mirthless smiles of Discord and Nightmare Moon as best she could. “I think you know, Luna.” The first pillow shot through the air, driving Luna backwards. the second caught her as she was still unbalanced, and took out both of her front legs. The regal goddess fell to the floor, but Rarity rushed in, giving no quarter. Before Luna could recover, Rarity pummelled her with pillow after pillow. At some point during her merciless barrage, Luna managed to flick Rarity’s horn with a hoof, disrupting her hold over the impromptu weapons. Tossing Rarity onto an unoccupied couch, Luna leapt to her hooves.
The tide of battle had turned. Rarity still had three of the pegasus-down stuffed pillows, but Luna now controlled two. The combatants circled one another, looking for a break in each other’s defenses. Silently, Rarity lunged forward with her three pillows at once, knowing Luna could only hope to block two. In a swift motion, however, the Princess sprang forward, and the pillows collided into each other behind her. Luna brought her own two fluffy weapons together, crushing Rarity’s head in their soft embrace. She dropped her tenuous hold on her pillows, and muffled “I yield!” as best she could through the fabric.
After unlocking the pillows from Rarity's face, Luna tsked. “You sought to challenge a goddess in the field of battle? I thought you wiser than that, dressmaker.”
“You sought to terrify me with an elaborate and very believable ruse, Your Majesty. I had to respond.”
“Indeed.” The Ruler of the Night Sky let out a small giggle. I just had a pillow fight with royalty! Rarity had to join in with her own laughter. After she pulled a prank on me! Now they were both trying to stifle their merriment. “I think,” Luna began, before stuffing a hoof in her mouth to prevent a torrent of snickers from escaping. “I think we should excuse ourselves to the cooking quarters.”
Rarity could only nod in response, not trusting herself to remain silent if she opened her mouth. She followed her Princess into the small kitchen, then burst out a weeze of laughter as soon as the door closed. Time has a funny way of passing when you’re in such a state, and all it took was one glance from Luna to set her right back into a fit of giggles. As such, when the pair finally emerged, Rarity had no idea if she had spent five minutes or an hour doing nothing but trying to stop laughing.
Luna cleared her throat and effortlessly hopped halfway across the room to an open couch. “Join me, Rarity?” Her voice was serious, but not formal.
“Of course, Your Majesty.” She strolled towards the couch, careful to avoid looking at the pillows too closely, and sat down next to Luna.
“I may not wish to see them dead or exiled, but the Grand Stable requires change in order to function again. I had hoped to keep my plans for the noble court a secret, but one day I found their behaviour too deplorable to watch.” Luna sighed wistfully. “I wish I could take my actions that day back. It would make my task far easier.” She hardened her expression. “I plan on diverting half of their incomes to a new great gathering of ponies, Rarity. Not another Stable, fit only for lords, ladies, and their descendants. A place for the common pony to speak and be heard.”
What do you have planned, Princess? Rarity could tell Luna was on a bit of a roll, so she let her continue.
“I think I shall call it the Corral Commons. It shall be filled with those the laypony has deemed best suited for leadership, the mayors and reeves to start. I doubt it will be entirely successful in it first few years, but it will be in its infancy. I will sit on it myself, as adjudicator. Hopefully,” she stressed the word, “the Commons will inspire the Stable to better their service to Equestria. Competition and conflict has brought out the best in them before, and I hope it could do so again.
“Not harmony?” Rarity alarmed herself at the directness of her own question.
Luna smiled. “Harmony alone does not a great nation make. There must be a passion, a desire to do better than your neighbours, to never be fully content with what you have. I hope a legitimate challenge to their authority brings out the best in them, that they will show Equestria why they are needed.”
“That is all very interesting, Your Majesty, but, forgive me for asking this.” Rarity faltered for a moment, before sending her hesitance down a deep, dark hole. “What does all this have to do with me?”
Luna smiled. “Well, have you not been listening, Rarity? I said I wanted them to earn their place of power, through their own deeds, not as a result of the inertia of history.” Luna got to her hooves and spread her wings. “You must of realized by now that my nephew and the other Archduchess will hunt for the Tomb of the Fallen Star themselves, yes? Imagine how much more interesting the race will be if both teams are forced to scrounge for every spare bit.”
Rarity gasped. “You didn’t!”
“I did.” Luna beat her wings and took to the air, with all the noise of an owl. “I trust you and your friends will test their resolve, and I hope to see them test yours. Good luck, Rarity.” The Princess of Dusk dissolved into a cloud of purple smoke, then seeped through the mortared stone of the tower into the blackness of the night.
“Well, this certainly makes things interesting.”
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Well, its a week late, but I think it can stand tall, on all four legs.
The final scene, all 3519 words of, literally came from this line of story plotting: Princess Luna has observed the noble families and found them wanting.
I don't know if I'm doing it right
Tune in next week for the final Canterlot Chapter, and then this fic finally kicks off into first gear.
Can I thumb this up twice? I'd like to thumb this up twice. Or three times. No! Five times! Five is a good number.
I'm glad you've got a schedule. I didn't even know you were on one. Now I have something to look forward to each week till season three comes out.
Well, If anypony knows about needing to make up for the past and justifying their station to the ponies of Equestria, it's Luna.
Come to think of it, one wonders how much of that has influenced her decision. After all, Celestia is capable of both her own job and raising the moon. It wouldn't be wrong to say that Luna isn't actually required for Equestria to function. And corruption she's personally familiar with- she might've gotten angry with the nobles because, on some level, she was reminded of her own past.
So, a relic of a bygone era, trying to fix a relic of a bygone era.
"Ah, what a lovely genre painting," our hero thought reading the first parts about the merry drinking game and Pinkie's shenanigans. Then he reached the second part...
That Princess Luna is one sick jokester! She seriously creeped me out - I most definitely would have not tried to throw pillows at her after her little presentation. She turned out ludic, though. At least seemingly. I'm onto her!
Not sure how much of her political efforts will be part of the fic, however.
All in all, nice work, with the first part a little more playful, introducing a few new characters, and some serious business at the end. About the newcomers: Briskwind should relax, if he wants my sympathy. But this is why we have Pinkie in the company, isn't it? Also, I wouldn't be surprised if Greased Palm turned his coat (no pun intended). I mean, come on, his name is practically shouting "traitor"! (By the way, "Palm"? Ponies don't have palms, they have hooves!
)
And I'm not sure if everypony had kept the rules of the drinking game - for example, I spotted a time when Pinkie said "zhee table awaits your answer". She should have drunk because of "your", shouldn't she? Hope I understood the rules correctly, though I'm sleepy.
Unfortunately, there were a few noticeable spelling mistakes. Mostly leaving out punctuation and such, nothing irritating, just saying because there were perhaps more than usually.
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And the real adventure starts after leaving Canterlot, doesn't it? Does this mean that after the next chapter, we'll basically have an 50-60k long prologue?! You don't want to mess with this story.
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Well, Rarity did notice that the name was strange. And Equestrians do have palm trees. That's probably what she was thinking of.
562684 I'm happy you picked up on the irony inherent in Luna's mission. Sometimes it takes a person who you haven't seen in a year or so to remark on just how much weight you've gained, for you to realize you've been packing away the pounds.
I hope no one was turned off by the sheer number of ponies in that lounge. It was a nightmare to write, let me tell you. I think I'll stick to a maximum of ten named characters to a scene in the future.
Luna's efforts are really the catalyst for the nobles turning up the douchery. If they can't convince Luna to stop her plan or get Celestia to intervene, they are going to lose half their income to Luna's uplifted rabble. Increasing trade tariffs and making the common ponies' lives difficult is their response. I don't think that's the change that Luna wants to see.
I'll change that your to a an once I get home, and clean up that punctuation.
Briskwind is very intentionally unlikeable and rude.
I can't wait for rarity and company to leave equestria
Please tell me you have submitted this to EqD.
Nope. I want to be comfortable with my own writing before asking others to put it on a pedestal. That probably means rewriting this at least once before I get to that point.
Also, I need to commission a sick cover, and takes time as well!
So I've noticed a disturbing trend in writing this fanfic. I get to Monday and I'll have around 6k words written, then stay up super late finishing it up and posting it, usually rife with grammatical errors and sloppy sentence structures. I thought I could manage 10k a week, while dealing with my full time job (that is wholly lacking in any sort of desk, so I can't even sneak some writing in at work), my running club, my maybe small business I'm starting up, etc etc. So I think I'll start publishing this biweekly.
Think of it like a second paycheck you get to enjoy! I'm sorry, nothing is more uplifting than that sweet, sweet monetary compensation.
Before you all get </3 on me, here's a sneak peek at what you can expect to read.
NOTE: No bucking way am I italicizing this today only to do it again later. You're all smart cookies, I'm sure you can figure it out.
Twilight instantly took charge. “Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, get to the caboose and close those doors.” The two ponies nodded, then rushed down the train. “Rarity, help Applejack seal the cargo containers. See if you can’t use some of that luggage as a barricade for any doors that can’t be locked.” Rarity turned and followed her two friends down the length of the train. “Rainbow Dash, wake up! I don’t care how awful you feel!” Twilight’s commands became impossible to hear as the crowd drew closer. Shouts and yells of “Dusty Ruin, what can you tell us about the ancient tomb you’ll be looting?” and “What do you think of Luna’s plan? Do you feel used?” pierced the solid walls of the train.
Seconds later, Rarity arrived in the first cargo car. This compartment was dedicated almost entirely to Applejack’s harvest, and the mare herself was frantically sliding the locking bolts into place along the wall. The farmer looked up at the sound of Rarity’s hooves hitting the metal floor. “Rarity! Git t’ the next car! I don’t think those stationhooves are ready fer this!”
“Alright!” Rarity didn’t slow, leaping over a hastily-stacked pile of barrels that blocked her path. We should keep the centre route clear, she thought. Probably best to save the organization for later, though. Within moments, she entered the next car.
One of the earth ponies that worked the loading dock was braced against the far wall, desperately trying to shove the slightly ajar door closed. His partner was at the gap between the door and the wall, beating back the crowd of information-starved journalists. “Get back! Back I say!” He swatted at the crowd with one of Rarity’s hard-cased containers. The push of the crowd had forced many of the newsponies into the gap, and their bodies prevented the door from closing.
"Sir! What can you tell us about the ponies on the expedition?"
"Care to comment on the what this could mean to the merchant class' feud with the nobles?"
The rhythmic banging of hooves against the metal exterior was deafening. Rarity felt like she was trapped inside a drum. “What do I do?” She yelled out, trying to be heard over the din.
“Lock the other door!” The pony armed with her luggage called out as he mightily swug the case holding half of her precious gem collection. “I’ll hold them here!”
The other door? But wh- Rarity’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of hooves on the roof. Either paparazzi pegasi had landed on the train, or the crowd had become so dense they were piling up on one another, creating a pony ramp. If she didn’t lock that door, they’d pour in from two sides, surely dooming them all to endless rounds of interviews.
A quick once-over of the locks revealed that they were of a simple deadbolt design. If Rarity was a stronger unicorn, she probably could've locked them all at once. Unfortunately, her talents had little to do with locking things.
Rarity had barely closed three deadbolts when the door strained against the locks. Suddenly, it wasn’t quite as simple as sliding the bolts into place. The friction caused by the bolts rubbing against the straining door forced her to put all of her strength into moving the thick bolt a few centimetres. A few seconds later, it was done, but she was panting in exertion. There’s no way I can close another eight locks, she thought, looking down the door’s edge. Especially if half of them are almost rusted shut!
The crowd’s chanting outside grew more fervent. “Exclusive! Exclusive! Daily Scoop! Daily Scoop!” The crowd in the street yesterday had been agitated. This one felt possessed! Their individual cries were soon drowned out by collectively created ghastly moan.
THINK, Rarity! What do you have tha-of course! Rarity raced over to her stack of bags, and began to dig through the pile, looking for one in particular. “Lady, what the hay are you doing! Lock that damn door!” She ignored the baggage stallion. Finally!
Well a new character, and it’s a griffon interesting. Heh typical hard ass.
I lol’d
Oh boy here we go
And there we went, yay drunk ponies!
Oh pinkie
I see what you did there. :D
I cried tears of laughter. This is gold!
It’s true!
Ah I sense the other shoe is about to drop
Well doesn’t someone have a sense of the dramatic? :-D
Oh that troll Luna
Ah and there it falls, look at it tumble. Oh dear Luna, you evil clever bastard
So that was an interesting chapter, the bar scene with the attention to every character involved (damn that must have taken ages) was pretty awesome i thought. Then the surprise Luna attack/randomness to reveal the antagonist is about to get even more under the hooves of the expedition.
Looking good
Indeed the great derpsby. indeed