AN: Hey guys this is my first ever fanfic, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much I enjoyed writing it. If you find any error or have suggestions, point it out. Anyway enjoy!
-Cabbage
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The Shape Shifter
Chapter 1: Past Memories
The room was dark, only a small beam of light coming from a window illuminated it. He sat on a corner, a brown-haired boy with red eyes, back against the wall staring at his hands. ‘From the beginning, I was alone. No family, no friends, no love of any kind. Only an entity inside my mind, that called itself ‘Brother’, made me company. I was rejected from society, because they were afraid. Afraid of me, and what I could do.’ His eyes reflected his sad thoughts, never leaving his steady gaze at his hands. Suddenly, his left hand started to change, turning rounder and flatter, like someone had just fused a hand with a hoof. His left side of the face started growing fur and a snot of some kind, his eye got bigger and rounder, and his ear became bigger, much to the resemblance of an equine. ‘I have the ability to shape and transform my body to whatever I want… But I couldn’t control it.’ His left ‘hand’ was now only a pile of flesh, and facial features started to deform. Tears fell from his unchanged right eye. ‘I was a freak.’
The memory began to fade, being replaced by another one. The dark room was now an empty alleyway, littered with trash. ‘As the years passed by, I learned to control my powers, stabilizing my body, augmenting my overall strength, speed, body composition and shape.’ His memory self was running around at tremendous speeds, throwing trash cans and garbage into a pile, then smashing it into a cube… Bare handed. Out of nowhere, his arms caught fire, and then the flames jumped to the trash cube in a steady jet. ‘I remember setting my arms aflame and burning the trash in this very alleyway, much like flamethrowers. It was… Fun.’
Yet another memory surfaced, the same alleyway and the same boy, but there was more. There was a group of five hooded figures, two of them standing on four legs and with an equine frame and three human, one of them pointing a gun at his head. ‘They wanted my money, even after many failed attempts of reasoning. I guess that’s why one of them drew a gun on me. He said he would put a bullet right in my brain, but I didn’t care.’
The hooded man shot him, a hole clean through the middle of the boy’s forehead. To his surprise however, the boy suddenly opened his eyes, a shocked expression on his face. ‘I guess that’s when I figured I couldn’t die by regular means, as long as my powers didn’t fail. I started laughing right in his shocked face. The others just stared at me, wondering what was happening. Their loss.’ The boy started laughing like a maniac with a demented grin on his face, and then his body started transforming. Small tentacle like appendages came from his torso, impaling all the hooded figures and decapitating them. All except the one who shot him. ‘I felt like I couldn’t control myself, like I was just a spectator. Brother had a massive grin on his shadowy face, his glowing white eyes looking at the scene.’
He grabbed the man by the face, lifting him in the air. His arm started to consume the man’s skin, flesh and bone, while he grew in size and power. He then burned the other bodies into ash. ‘When I came to my senses, I was shocked by what I just did. Out of instinct my body started repairing itself, as if nothing had happened. That day not only did I found out that I couldn’t die, but I vowed to myself that unless it was to protect someone in need, I wouldn’t use my powers to kill other people. Somehow I heard the voice of the man I consumed for seven days in my head, as if his conscience was still alive inside me. Then it stopped, and I knew he was forever gone.’
The alleyway faded as the memory changed, now on a cafe. He sat on a stool by the counter. The bartender, an old bald man on his late 60’s, was serving him a hot coffee and a sandwich. ‘I always enjoyed coming here. Mr. George, the bartender, was very friendly, often engaging in a chat with me while serving me breakfast.’ He looked around. There were several figures sitting on a table. Some were human, while others equine in structure. Most either ignored him, or looked at him in disgust. He heard the sound of hooves trotting in his direction, and felt someone sitting next to him. He looked to his right and saw a lavender coated unicorn mare with a purple mane and tail with two pink streaks, and purple pupils, smiling at him. ‘That’s where I met her, the only one that smiled at me.’
*****
Date: March 23rd 2471 AC
Location: Lillypad Cafe, Vancouver, Canada.
Age: 19
3 years ago.
“Hi! Mind if I sit here?” The mare asked.
“Sure, go ahead.”
“Thanks! By the way, I’m Twilight. Twilight Sparkle.”
“Michael. Michael Andrews.” Both shook hand/hoof.
“So Michael, not to seem too nosy or anything, but I noticed you spend most of your time here alone. Why’s that? Don’t you have anyone to keep you company?” She asked with a curious look on her face.
Michael’s face turned into a frown. “I… I'd rather not talk about it Twilight.”
Twilight could see the sadness in his frown, and quickly figured out the reasons of such feelings-. “Sorry… I didn’t know you were alone Michael… If you need to talk about something, you can tell me.” His mood lightened a bit, and his frown slightly faded.
“Thanks Twilight. You’re the only one who has shown any kind of care for me in my entire life. Here,” his eyes perked up to look her in the face “let me buy you something.”
“Thank you, but I don’t have much time left, I have to go to work. Anyways I’m glad I could help. Have a good day!” She smiled back at him, got up and started to leave. She then stopped and got an idea. “Oh! Hey Michael, why don’t we meet again sometime?”
“I’d be glad to. I’m here every day, and I sure could use the company.” He replied.
“Ok then, see you tomorrow friend!” Twilight said as she waved goodbye.
*****
‘She called me a friend. That was the first time someone called me that. The first time someone cared about me.’ Once again the memory faded, replaced by another. They were in a street, the boy and the mare, walking near an alleyway. ‘Four months had passed since we first met. We were walking by the same alleyway where I murdered five persons and made a vow all those years ago, when someone pulled us into the shadows.’ They were quickly grabbed and pulled into the dark alley by some muggers, who instantly used the mare as a hostage. ‘They held her at gunpoint for several minutes, using her so I would give them my money. Again. I could see her crying, pleading me for help. In my mind, Brother was telling me to do something about it.’
*****
Date: July 2nd 2471 AC
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Age: 19
3 years ago
“For the last time you brat, hand over the money or she’s dead!” One of the muggers said.
“Please Michael, just give it to them!” Twilight pleaded, her purple eyes red from crying.
‘Are you just going to let them do this?’ Brother asked him in his mind.
‘No.’ He mentally replied.
‘Then what are you waiting for moron? DO SOMETHING!’
“Are you deaf kid? GIVE US THE MONEY!”
“No,” was all he said. It was all he needed to say.
“Wrong choice boy,” said the one holding Twilight as he raised his gun, preparing to kill her.
“I LOVE YOU MICHAEL!” Twilight yelled, preparing for her end.
‘SHE WHAT?’ He thought, shocked. Suddenly, time seemed to almost stop.
‘KILL THIS PATHETIC SCUM! MOVE!’ Brother mentally yelled.
An enraged look came across Michael’s face as he stared at the muggers. In a quick motion, he turned his right arm into steel and covered Twilight, stopping the bullet from hitting it’s mark. He then pulled the steel capsule back next to him and uncovered her, placing her behind him for protection. And now he was going to make them pay. He set his arms ablaze, and started burning the muggers to death. All that training now paid off.
Twilight just stood there. She was too shaken up to say anything, and could only watch as the action unfolded before her eyes. Michael had just saved her, and removed some outlaws from the city while at it.
He sat next to her, hands on her shoulders, and finally said, “Twilight calm down. You’re safe now.” He looked her in the eyes. “Please say something…”
“W-what was t-that?” She managed to ask between sobs and confusion.
“That… Was an extent of my ability. I’m a shape shifter. I’m sorry you had to find out this way Twilight. I really am.” He felt a ping of regret on killing them in front of her, but there was no other choice.
“It’s ok… Thank you Michael, for saving me.” She said, now calmer.
“You’re welcome. Oh, and Twilight?” Michael called her attention, still looking at her eyes.
“Yes Michael?” She curiously asked, returning his gaze.
“I love you too.”
Hearing this, Twilight shot forward and kissed him. She felt like she was over the moon, with so much happiness filling her body. Michael, not seeing this coming, blushed furiously, and then returned the kiss.
*****
‘It was the happiest moment of my life. Not only did she care about me, she LOVED me.’ Yet again the memory started to fade while another replaces it. The alley was now an altar, and two figures sat atop it. One human, and one equine. ‘We got married two years after that. We were happy, and lived our merry lives afterwards. We got a house, a car, and most important of all, each other.’ The final memory ended, and was replaced by darkness.
‘But good things never last. Three months later, I was called by the army, to war.’
sounds Mary Sue-ish......
Hmmm have you been playing prototype???????
Holy shit! That is all.
Stay frosty!
~Hazard~
391825 Nope, but I can see why you said that, he kinda consumes the dude.
392333 okie dokie lokie jest wonderin
PINKIE IS NOT FAVORITE PONY
This story...
I like it!
A few spelling and grammatical errors, but overall, not bad for a first start.
I approve of this fanfiction.
Wonderfully written.
*Steel looks over at the door to his house, placing a hand on his chin and idly tapping his cheek.*
...Isn't anyone coming?
*Every second drifting past feels like a small nail being driven into Steel's brain, juuuust a bit every hit, enough to feel it, but not enough to kill him.*
C'mon...!
*Suddenly, a knock on the door! Someone came!*
Finally. Come in!
*Nothing answers his call. Steel raises an eyebrow, walking over to the door.*
Orrrr wait for me to bring you in...fine.
*He opens the door, spotting a familiar buttercup-colored pegasus.*
Figured it'd be you, Fluttershy.
"Um...hi, Steel...I came to read with you..."
Surprising how you beat everyone else here...usually you're the last to arrive. Well, seat's waiting for you.
*Steel stands to the side and gestures to a simple looking pillow next to his chair at the computer, Fluttershy taking the invitation and stepping inside.*
"If you don't mind me asking...why don't you...um...have any windows?"
Problem I had when building the house in the first place. Windows never occurred to me since my house didn't have a roof when it went up...Twilight helped with completing it, but now I either just leave the door open, or use my computer to light the room. Does give some nice ambience though.
"Y-You aren't...worried about the dark...?"
Dark is just that, lack of light. It's not like an Eldritch horror is going to drag itself out of the black and attack me.
*Steel smirks as he walks over and takes his seat, walking passed a paralyzed Fluttershy. Her eyes dart around the room.*
Fluttershy, there won't be an Eldritch horror interrupting us today. Didn't I say something about getting stronger?
"W-Well..."
"It's just scary..."
It's only your imagination getting the better of you. As soon as we start reading, you'll forget everything else.
"Ok..."
*Steel sits down in his chair, watching Fluttershy quietly come over and take a seat in her cushion. He furrows his brow at her in thought, and she returns the stare.*
"W-What? Is s-something wrong? Is there a monster behind me?!"
No, no, nothing like that...I'm just wondering how you can walk around so quietly. Rainbow is a Pegasus like you, and she stomps around like a rhino.
"It's a...um...trick I learned...back in school..."
Ahhh...say no more. I'm aware of at least some of that...not a road I'm able to walk just yet without hurting you.
"How so...?"
Well, your time at school was...well, a bad time. I don't want to force you to walk down that road again, just to fill in the details for me. I'll wait for a proper day to ask you, whether it be a year or a decade from now. For the moment, we've a story to read!
"Well...lead on...!"
Will do! Diving in!
Chapter 1 is done. Any thoughts, Fluttershy?
"Well...let's see...I like how such a depressed person was able to find happiness...and that Twilight was able to do the same; she spends too much time in the library...I sometimes worry about how lonely she is."
She has Spike, doesn't she?
"True, but he's only a baby, and babies have needs...I'm not saying having Spike around is bad, he's resourceful, and quick, and witty...but she wouldn't be able to find the same happiness with him as with a...friend..."
She has you lot as well, but I get what you're saying. Any other thoughts on the story?
"Even though I don't like the fighting...I think the scenes felt...really, really short..."
I was figuring the same. Each one seemed to come up, then vanish in moments. There's no competition; the muggers can't fight back since Mike's already all over them. The main character definitely does feel Mary Sue-ish, simply due to all the power. He's typically depressed over his own power, typically saved by Twilight who typically falls in love with him, and she's typically saved in a typically lightning quick manner.
"That's...kind of mean..."
Sadly, you sometimes have to be mean in order to get the truth out. A lot of this story feels...typical. There's no development where there needs to be, even though they're simply memories. You'd think Mike would remember what he and Twilight did together before they fell in love, what interests they had, what times they had with each other, what fun things they did. So much is missing from this story!
"What the story does have...is good though, right...?"
Well yeah. The writing feels solid, despite some grammar and spelling mistakes, and the dialogue seems natural. The pacing is out-of-this-world FAST, but I can live with it, I suppose. Any closing thoughts before we go on?
"Micheal was called to war...wasn't he?"
Yeah.
"I hope he comes home...!"
He will.