The start of a beautiful "friendship"

by Night Fire

Chapter 3

Alright I’m hoping that I’m doing a good job at writing this. I’m at least hoping this isn’t a horrible story. I don’t give a buck what people think except about my stories so give me some honest feedback on all of these chapters and sorry if the last one seemed a bit short and rushed. I didn’t really have a good enough idea for the dream so sorry. And I know this takes up more time and you might just skip it. I don’t know honestly. Well anyways time to start this. I’m an old fanfictioner and a new fimfiction member. Force of habit for this note.

The sunlight hit Trixie’s face and woke her up suddenly and abruptly. She groaned and slowly sat up. She then tried to stretch, but that caused her wounds to stretch a little, causing large pain and discomfort. She winced in pain and turned to find the bed empty but the desk next to the bed had Twilight there snoring with her face in a book on an open page. Trixie giggled at the mare then decided to wake her up so she could get some help moving around and replacing her bandages (she didn’t think Twilight was talented enough to know a spell to heal her stomach wound for good).

“Twilight, wake up!” Trixie called trying to wake up the mare without leaving the bed, “Twilight!” Trixie grabbed a pillow with her magic and threw it hard nailing Twilight in the face. Twilight then quickly woke up.

“No, Derpy! Those are my muffins!” Twilight yelled out waking up from a weird dream. She heard Trixie start laughing.

“What were you dreaming about?” Trixie said with tears in her eyes, mainly from the laughing but she was bleeding again on her stomach but only lightly.

“Oh, shut it. When you meet Derpy and see her with a muffin you’ll understand.” Twilight said in a VERY serious voice. Trixie looked very scared, and seeing that was just too funny. “Oh you should see your face. Derpy is just a lovable pony that really enjoys muffins; she loves them almost as much as her daughter or her boyfriend.” Twilight said giggling.

“Gosh, don’t scare me like that!” Trixie yelled as Twilight stated laughing. “I thought you were being serious!”

“I’m sorry Trixie, and also did all that yelling and laughing do more damage to your stomach? I think I see some blood.” Twilight said getting serious instantly.

“Yeah I noticed when I stopped laughing. I think we need to change the bandages.” Trixie said motioning to her stomach.

“Not on your stomach. I spent the entire night learning more about medical magic so sit very, very still so I don’t mess this up.” Twilight said with her horn glowing.

“Alright.” Trixie said with nervous for her well-being but having full confidence in Twilight’s abilities.

Twilight cast the spell, enveloping Trixie in a bright cocoon of light that was then focused into her stomach. When the light faded and dispersed, she ripped of the bandage to see that there was only a very faint line on her stomach that she had ever been hurt there. It appeared that all her organs had also been fixed.

”Wow Twilight, that is really impressive. I’ve never heard of somebody being this powerful on just one night of studying.” Trixie said feeling her stomach.

“Thanks, now I’m very tired and need to eat before I pass out.” Twilight said with a halfway joking smile. Trixie got out of the bed, staggering a little in her way over to Twilight, helping her to get to the doorway. They managed to get downstairs without falling and to the kitchen with only a few stumbles, as they got to the table, Trixie could barely move, and just sat at the table. Twilight sat next to her. “Well this seems to be a problem, I can’t move, and neither can you.”

“Twilight, is it possible for a spell like that to make you forget stuff?” Trixie asked confusing Twilight.

“Um not that I know of. Why?” Twilight asked confused.

“Did you forget that the one thing a unicorn can do since birth is levitate stuff? And us being some of the most powerful magic users in Equestria should make it just all the easier?” Trixie said with a look on her face that said ‘Really?’

“Oh, I feel very stupid.” Twilight said with a slight blush.

“Good thing you now have me to help set you straight!” Trixie said with a smile, a kind and loving smile, which is something that did not go unnoticed by Twilight, same with the meaning in her comment that she was staying there, for quite a while.

“Oh really, so how long are you staying here out of curiosity?” Twilight said causing Trixie to blush, not realizing that she had said that.

“Oh, um, yeah, about that, I actually don’t have a house anymore except for a cabin about a week’s trip from here. Is it possible for me to stay with you? And is there anywhere were I could get a job?” Trixie said looking down and blushing.

“I don’t know about the job part, but you’re welcome to stay here for as long as you like.” Twilight said with a smile while levitating over some fruit as a quick breakfast. “Out of curiosity, what type of jobs, would you be able to qualify for?”

“Well teaching, cooking, baking, and almost anything that didn’t involve flying really. If it doesn’t require you to be a Pegasus, then I can very likely do it.” Trixie said a bit nonchalantly, eating her apple. Twilight quickly ate her apple, feeling a lot better afterwords.

“Wow, well we will find that out after you heal, alright?” Twilight said with a stern glare at Trixie who looked at her in shock.

“How would you know anything about my past like that! And besides, I only did it once! And I was eight!” Trixie said in a blush causing Twilight to laugh.

“Gosh I was joking, I didn’t know that, did it have anything to do with your abusive parents?” Twilight asked in an actual serious voice.

“How would you know that? How?” Trixie said in a shell shocked voice close to crying. “I have been trying to forget about them.”

“I’m sorry, it probably brings up some bad memories. You were yelling at them to stop hitting you in your sleep last night, I woke you up after that but not sure if you remember what was said though.” Twilight said with a blush.

“Oh Celestia, that wasn’t a dream. I feel like an idiot.” Trixie said blushing and looking down in shame. “I’m sorry that you heard that Twilight, I understand if you feel awkward around me now. Maybe I should just leave.”

“Trixie don’t leave, I don’t want you to leave. In fact, I was hoping you would stay.” Twilight said with a blush.

“Wait what? Don’t be joking; whatever you are doing just don’t be joking.” Trixie said looking at her with skepticism.

“I’m not Trixie, I love you.” Twilight said going to her and kissing her, long and passionate on the lips. Trixie didn’t think, she just reacted and leaned into the kiss making it more passionate. They stayed like that, so lost in the kiss they didn’t hear the door open, or the patter of feet and hooves heading to the kitchen. They did break off when they heard multiple gasps of shock and outrage.

Well that is the end of this chapter. Sorry if it is a bit rushed, but I am typing this at past midnight and made this up as I wrote it. So give me your feedback. Bronies, I bid you good day. Bless your face, if you sneezed during this chapter, Bless you. Peace off.

Comments

[Night Fire]

In response to Luna Eclipse, no this isn't pre written. If you read my notes in the start, I'm saying that I started out on fanficton. I use this for all my MLP stories. I was up till 1:30 A.M. writing chapter three so please give me you honest opinions. I'm just amazing like that.

[Luna Eclipse]

Haha. I love it so far.

[Cheer]

So. I'm going to stop here. But I'm going to tell you why.

The story feels uber rushed. not even 4k words in and they have admitted their love for each other.

Twilight seems to be pretty focused on the thought of having her apologize to the town instead of the large gash on her stomach and how it got there.

Also you haven't seemed to use Trixie speaking 3rd pony once.

The nightmare scene was over the top.

You only need notes at the end of the story. Having them at the top really messes things up a bit. If you really want to have them there then at least use page breaks.
The script for it ---->[ h r ]
What it looks like with out spaces and working correctly
vvvvv

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I would think Twi to have a little more tact than that. I mean c'mon

“Gosh I was joking, I didn’t know that, did it have anything to do with your abusive parents?

It's so outta left field and so casual that it just feels weird. You don't just ask that. After seeing how Trixie was acting in her sleep I'd think she would realise the emotional pain such a question would bring about.

The part before that was really weird too. It got confusing as to who was talking (the whole forgetting things scene)

I decided to take a chance and read the next chapter too. Wow. I don't wanna be rude but. It seemed to have gotten worse.

How old is AB again? I mean "Obviously seductive tone" calling Spike hot?

you just throw all those couples out there with no build up at all. and What did Pinkamena mean by what Trixie did to pinkie? She didn't do anything to her since judging by the year these chapters were uploaded it was before magic dual.

Everyone just accepts that basically Pinkie is dating herself. I mean yeah "it's pinkie" and all that jazz but still.

So yeah. I'm done here. Do what you will with my criticism.

Have a good life.