Redemption

by Jack Hooves

Chapter One: Run

I took a glance out from around the tree and saw that the creatures were slowly trying to make a circle around the tree me and the other two were behind and looked at the gun in my hand and saw that I was beginning to shake from the knowledge that I would be going to distract them and flicked the safety switch off.

"If we're careful we can flank them." I heard one of them said while getting close to the tree but still far enough to not see us.

"Take him and get out of here." I said while seeing a fallen tree that was thick enough to provide cover and it was only about 20 to 30 feet away from me.

I waited till I saw them manage to sneak away into a small shrub bush that grew into the deeper parts of the forest.

I took a deep breath and stepped out from behind the tree with my gun raised and fired off the clip at the group of creatures that was in front of me and was surprised when three of the creatures fell with blood gushing out of them with their comrades grabbing the ones that fell and rushed them over to the other group of them while I stood there frozen with fear as I realized that they could be killed.

"Light that mother fucker up boys!" The one in the gray suit said while flinging his cigar to the ground and walked in the opposite direction that his kind was going and stepped into some kind of metal vehicle.

"You heard him."Another said while approaching me when they saw me pull the trigger but only a loud click noise was heard showing I ran out of ammo in my clip.

"This is going to be fun." The one that spoke before said while lowering his rifle and throwing it on the ground while pulling out his knife and smiled when he knew I was out ammo and took a step forward.

I stepped back when I saw that he was the only one advancing on me and the others went back to smoking something and panicked when he rushed me and took cover in the forest while he chased me and darted the right of me and made a few zig-zags and lost him but could hear he was close.

"Fucking hell." I muttered to myself when I realized I didn't have a spare clip of ammo on me.

"Come out, come out, come out little horse so I can break your neck with my bare hands." He shouted in the area I was hiding in.

I looked around in the dark and found a small rock and threw it as hard as I could in the other direction and sighed when it didn't make any noise, I looked and saw that he was backing up and walked in the other direction shouting more, I took this chance to make a run for it and bumped into one of the creatures, making us both to fall to the ground, he got up before me and had his pistol aimed at me when I looked up.

"I should kill you." He said while looking at me.
"I...I....I have a family." I said while crawling back a little bit but hit a tree trunk and stopped when he walked over to me.
"Y....you understand me?" He said surprised and lowered his gun a little.
"Yes?" I said while unsure of myself.

"So they think you died."He lowered the gun till it was aimed at my leg and then shot."Now run."

I cried out in pain as the bullet went all the way through the muscles in my leg and managed to stand up and limp away briskly as I began to run in extreme pain and fell to the ground as I neared a small cliff and heard the sound of approaching creatures again and saw the one ahead of everyone else was the one that shot me.

I lay down on the ground and gave up and looked up at the same one that shot me had his gun lowered to my head.

"Kill him cadet! Get your first kill!" The ones behind him were shouting.
"I'm sorry." He said while I closed my eyes as he pulled the trigger but shot the ground next to my ear and then kicked me in the stomach to push me over the edge into a river that I didn't even know was there and fell into the river sinking slowly as I realized I couldn't hear out of my left ear and then began to black out as I didn't attempt to swim up and let my body go limp and looked up one last time before I blacked out and saw a pony above me grab my hand and begin to pull me to surface before I gave up and blacked out with water beginning to enter my lungs.

Comments

[Another_Dead_Account1109]

Yea no, if these humans are like the ones I described they would have armor that can deflect a handgun, the way you described them was just stupid. . .

Take my advice, rewrite everything! Change human weaponry from using bullets to energy weapons, like Plasma or Lasers. Armor can deflect most pony weapons like pistols to rifles. Only cannons have enough power to atleast damage their infantry. Basic human tanks are four legged machines that fire pure energy weapons as well as a few turrets on them. If one were shot by a 150mm cannon in the main body it would only recoil in effect but if it is shot in the joints you may beable to stop it but the weapons would still be operational. Fighters are drones, they are not piloted, this would make sense because the US has been planing to replace piloted fighters by remote control drones.

They didn't come from another dimension, they came from the stars.

[Jack Hooves]

4249424
They are not going to be from the stars, They are normal and body armor is not bulletproof, It merely reduces the chance of a bullet penetrating, a 9mm can go through a military vest, I am using true facts, not fake ones.

[AnormalUnicornPony]

4255631
Sounds like a better plan to me. Besides you are the author yeah?

[Jack Hooves]

4256024
Yes I am the author of this book.

[AnormalUnicornPony]

4256047 Sorry I meant that question as encouragement. It sounded like theArchAngel wanted to write your fic for you.

[Jack Hooves]

4256066
Ohhh XD, how did you like the story so far?

[AnormalUnicornPony]

4256075 I thought it was ok. It needs some work though with layout and grammar. Mostly punctuation errors. But the premise seems good.

The only thing I would have is a bit more detail of what is gong on. The story pretty much sprang right into the action and I was left wondering who they all were.

[Jack Hooves]

4256106
That is. What I'm looking for, honesty, not criticism, and I will try tomorrow, but I must sleep, sunburnt bad.

[Another_Dead_Account1109]

4255631

` Well the Paradox thing was a stupid remark. Why in the hell would we attack them for this so called 'Paradox?'

[Jack Hooves]

4256989
Captain anus I am not going to reply, the audience will have to wait till I release chapter 2, and as you said I don't have to reply.

[Another_Dead_Account1109]

4257503

Then why did you reply?