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Chapter 1: The Mean Six11,270 words
Chapter 2: The Welcoming Party8,284 words
Chapter 3: As the Statue Falls11,203 words
Chapter 4: Unbreakable Vertigo11,390 words
Chapter 5: The Last Gasp of Air10,717 words
Chapter 6: No One Dies, I Swear12,405 words
Chapter 7: The Karma Police15,278 words
Chapter 8: Falling out of the Sky13,419 words
Chapter 9: Keep Quiet6,339 words
Chapter 10: Give Us the Hope13,056 words
Chapter 11: Tonight, the Stars Revolt18,377 words
Chapter 12: Midnight City24,584 words

Chapter 2: The Welcoming Party

The girls huddled around the peculiarly shaped windows. They were like stage sets from a cartoon, which appropriately illustrated the colorful spectacles dancing about through it.

“There some kinda' silly parade goin’ on today?” Aprile thought the characters outside might’ve been animatronics, which were easily the very best she’d ever seen.

“I would’ve known about that,” Raine added.

“What’s with all the German buildings?”

They all darted their eyes at Piper.

“You know! They’re all German and Bavarian-looking and stuff! Oh! I bet they have lots of tasty cakes and treats!” Piper instinctively went for the door, and Twyla instinctively yanked her back.

“There’s... no way those are animatronics, nor are they puppets!" Twyla squinted through the window, "I’ve watched enough Ancient Aliens to know the difference. Look at their eyes, look at the way they move.”

What scampered before the window panes were the absolute cutest of walking marshmallows. No more than a few feet tall, they appeared to come in a variety of different flavors and wondered about with the most baffling eyes that by any and all evolutionary standards were completely asinine. It was a wonder that these adorable things, whatever they were, weren't constantly poking their own eyes out Twyla thought.

“They’re like something out of child’s play!” for some reason Regina was downright horrified by the pocket monsters.

“I think they look kind of cute really, like little candy flavored horses!” it was probably the first time Piper had ever considered horse meat before, if not for anything else but the added sugary taste.

“There’s no way that’s a horse,” Raine objected.

Twyla grasped at the best Biology could offer her, “They’re more like some sort of gelatin based Sauropod race.”

“What the hell are you even talking about!?” Raine cried, to which Twyla and the others sealed her yap.

The trotting jelly beans outside poked out their heads, suddenly alerted to the call and soon began to close in on the source with cautious eyes.

Aprile bonked the big-mouth over the head, “You dang idiot! They’ve seen us!”

It was just around that time when Fiona awoke from her drunken nap. She yawned and gazed through the pane, “Oh my gosh! Such adorable creatures!” Completely oblivious to the circumstances as well as her friends' disbelief, she opened the door and leapt out to hug each and every one of them.

A ripple of terrified screams and shouts for help rang throughout the square. One of the creatures had tripped in the scuffle and sent a flurry of postal letters of all things into the air. Twyla and the others watched on as Fiona tried to pick up and cuddle the bruised animal as if it were a kitten. She stroked its blonde hair and gray coat, somehow unaware of its struggle to fly away, not to mention the screams of the other creatures. Doors slammed and windows shut tight and the once sprightly market place had become a ghost town.

“Hey, that one has wings! Cool!” Raine lifted her cell phone from her pocket and tried to take a picture, but the screen was blank. She tried to turn it on, and even banged it a few times, but the device had ultimately become useless.

Eventually the girls finally left their Bavarian bunker and came out to investigate the Technicolor village. It was filled with abandoned carts and vendors sprinkled with goods of all sorts. Whatever these creatures were, they at least understood how to barter and maintain an effective economy. Let alone how to construct stylized and might one say, very tasteful homes.

“It’s like some sort of beautiful dream!” Piper shouted, taking in the passionate scenery. A particularly delicious looking shop caught her fancy.

Aprile adjusted her hat, “This definitely ain’t no parade, Sug’.”

“I’d say that’s pretty obvious by now,” Raine was as awestruck by the scenery as any one of them, but she had to admit that the sky did look far more inviting than ever before.

It was fairly certain that somehow, they'd lost themselves through an open doorway. Regardless of how they left New York City, Twyla would at least need some answers from the locals. She scampered over to Fiona with the most curious look in her eyes, “It’s like some kind of extra small pony.”

“Gah! I am a pony!”

Fiona jerked away and finally released it. They were dumbfounded; Not only could these colorful creatures speak, but they even spoke English oddly enough.

Twyla had about ninetynine questions, but only asked one, “W-What’s wrong with your eyes...?”

“W-What...?” confusion slanted across its curious spectacles. The little pony did her best to collect the pile of letters from the ground as quickly as it could.

“I’m so sorry if I started you,” Fiona apologized, “Here, let me help you.”

The gray little pony squeaked in freight and flew off, but not before introducing itself head first into the square’s fountain statue. The regal statue of an elegant winged horse teetered and heaved until it shattered into pieces against the cobblestones, but by then, the creature had long flown away.

“Well, I can’t help but feel like we don’t belong here, girls,” Regina commented, picking up a decent chunk of the bust’s head sculpt.

“Wherever or whatever here is, exactly,” Twyla picked up one of the remaining letters, “…Ponyville, huh? Sheesh how cheesy,” She noted that the piece was to be delivered to the town’s library.

“Welp, we oughta' split up into groups and find out what’s goin’ on around here,” Aprile suggested.

“That sounds like a good idea,” Twyla agreed, “We’ll meet back here in a couple of hours with some answers, hopefully,” she glanced over at Fiona, "And let's try not to scare any of these creatures anymore than we already have."

Fiona choked down a giggle, and soon found a tug at her arm from Raine, “You’re with me kid, let’s go knock on some doors.”

“Oh, well, uhm, alright then.”

“I’ll need an assistant, someone who can carry my things and get dirty for me,” requested Regina.

“Switch all a' that to body guard and I’ll cover ya’.”

“Ah yes, of course Aprile. I’m obviously going to need a strong arm by my side in case I’m assaulted by one of these unpredictable cartoon characters.”

Aprile couldn’t help but laugh at the thought.

“I guess that leaves me with you, Piper,” except that Twyla couldn’t find her anywhere, “Oh, great.”

Shouts came from a nearby gingerbread house, “Get out of here you monster! You’re not touching any of our cakes!”

Piper tumbled out of the front door and down a couple of steps. A chubby blue pony with a swirl for hair shouted a few more northern nuances before slamming the door shut.

Twyla rushed to her side and lifted the cookie reject back to her feet.

Piper's eyes began to bubble, “Kicked out of two bakeries in-”

“Don’t you dare say such a thing, Piper. Your baking is delicious! This place, whatever it is, clearly isn't good enough for you.”

“Rainbow Dash! Fluttershy!” the gray Pegasus flew as quickly as her awkward itinerary could carry her. She practically flew straight through the cloud carrying both a blue Pegasus and a yellow Pegasus upon it.

“Oh, hey Derpy. What’s up?” Dash nodded, sitting up from her lounge.

Derpy had to catch her breath for a moment before she could explain.

“You look just awful. Where is your mail bag?” asked Fluttershy.

“You guys gotta’ hurry! There’s monsters in town!”

“What?!” the two said in unison.

“One of them knocked over all my mail! And then-And then it tried to strangle me!”

Fluttershy gasped.

“And then one of them said my eyes were messed up!”

Rainbow Dash’s sudden concern paused momentarily to swallow a chuckle until her determined composure had enough nerve to return.

“I think they knocked over a statue of Princess Celestia too. I can’t remember that part too good though, my head kind of hurts-”

Dash stood up upon the cloud, “Don’t worry Derpy, we got this! C’mon Fluttershy! We've got a town to save!” And in typical fashion, the blue Pegasus stormed off to save the day with her two friends struggling behind to keep up.

Skipping through a rather lonely street was an even lonelier pink pony. Typically, she’d wave and greet every one that she passed, but for some reason today there were no smiles anywhere, “I wonder where everypony’s gone to?” she gasped, “Maybe they’re all at a party?! No, wait. I would’ve been invited to it. Right? I throw the best parties. Yeah! No party’s a party without old Pinkie Pie!” she giggled.

It was just then that she saw a rainbow streak across the sky littering a snowstorm of flyers wherever she went.

“Hey Rainbow Dash! Wait-!” the only response Pinkie got was a pamphlet swatting her in the face. She thought she’d read something about a ‘monster’ but for some reason couldn't help but think of that slice of scrumptiously sweet Marzipan Madness cake she'd devoured the day before.

“Pinkie Pie…!” a muffled shout interrupted her delicious train of thought.

“Huh? Who’s there? Show yourself!”

“Over here! It’s me! Bonbon!” for whatever, Bonbon had barricaded herself inside her cottage, “You need to hide! There’s these weird monsters running around."

“Monsters? I don’t see any monsters-”

With a squeak Bonbon's warning was cut short between the slam of a door as two tall silhouettes filled the door’s wood graining. A tremor of fear sprang up along the pink pony’s spine and she slowly turned about to face the wood be pillagers.

“Oh hey look, Twyla, it’s another one of them!”

“Don’t say it like that, Piper. That’s kind of rude,” Twyla squatted down to meet the cautious pony face to face, “Hi there, my name’s Twyla and this is my friend, Piper. We’re a little lost you see, and well…”

Piper’s face was roughly three quarter’s smile by volume alone. It was enough to replace the pony's fears with a gush of inspiration. She began to twitch and smile maniacally, a smile that soon dwarfed that of Piper’s. With a final gasp, she burst into a dazzling sprinkle covered fireball and zipped down the street.

The two humans paused for a moment.

“That looked like a lot of fun!” Piper thought the sprinkles made a delicious touch but wasn’t sure how light beams could be edible at all.

Twyla pulled the addressed letter out of her buttoned blouse, “Uhm, Anyways, I’d say our first 'real' answer might lie in this library. If we could just find it we may be able to figure out a little more about this place and just what’s going on.”

“What if this is all a dream?”

Twyla picked up one of the flyers which were scribbled in a slew of puzzling warnings, “We'd better hope it is, because I don't think we've made a very good first impression."

A life of pampered on demand services had made the stroll seem to take hours for Regina, though it might’ve been only one at the very most. Either way, her stilettos certainly weren’t helping and Aprile was beginning to regret ever having taken up the job in the first place.

“Aprile dear, would you ‘please’ take my coat for me! It’s simply too hot out here!” Regina really wanted to get out of her death slippers as well but was too terrified to actually get any dirt on her freshly pedicured feet, “Why do we have to walk through here anyway? It’s so… dreadfully filthy!” At any other time she would’ve easily called up an assistant to drive her anywhere she wanted, but her phone was dead and she couldn’t understand why. She checked her iPhone again for about the seventh time since their arrival, each time hoping the outcome would’ve been different and each time giving an even more irritating whine.

Aprile could feel the silky skin of Regina’s throat between her fingertips. With each moan she grinded her teeth, doing everything she could to hold back what she knew she'd regret saying. The nagging complaints were enough to take Regina's head clean off, until all of a sudden the perkiest most perfect little apple tree caught Aprile's eye.

Her eyes sparkled, and ran up to it. The apples had such a bright shade of red to them. They must have been the healthiest apples Aprile had ever seen, “By golly! You seein’ this?”

“It’s just an apple, dear.”

“These here ain’t just any old apples!” Aprile picked one from the tree, “Look at that red shine! I’ve never seen anything this good lookin’ in all my life,” She took a bite out of it, and her eyes began to glow. The level of juiciness and crunchy sweetness was nearly perfect.

Aprile had developed a talent for apple picking back on the farm. She could tell a good apple from a great apple with a blindfold on and her hands tied behind her back, but this dwarfed anything that coud’ve ever come from her fields.

“I don’t really understand the big deal. They’re not even peeled and cut into crescents.”

Outraged, Aprile picked another apple and almost chipped one of Regina’s teeth with it. She would’ve screamed too but was too overcome by the rich taste to complain. Regina snatched away the fruit and scarfed it down in a manner that would’ve had her kicked out of any fashion runway.

Aprile laughed but almost bit her tongue off after a sharp bonk clobbered the back of her head, “Gah! What in blazes?!”

“Fire at will!” a shout rang from a distance, and pretty soon Aprile and Regina found themselves bombarded with pig-slop. Regina screamed for dear life. Not because she had just taken an apple to the forehead, but more importantly that her hair and white blouse had been soaked in chunks of watery apple cores. It was actually more horrifying than it sounded.

“Get down, princess!” she tackled Regina down behind a tree, unfortunately getting dirt all over her stylish skirt. A terrible scream gave away their position and the bombardment continued.

“Them weird tall fellas ain’t gettin' any more of our apples!” commanded an orange pony, adjusting her cowpoke hat as if she were some sort of commissar. She cracked a determined smirk and yanked the rope of a crudely made catapult. It launched a bustle of apples, apple chunks and apple seeds at their targets to which another helpless cry rang out with a few expletives regarding a ruined coat.

A smaller yellow pony giggled, “That’ll teach ‘em, sis!”

Three more catapults launched and the sun became eclipsed in apple salvos.

The victims did all they could to take cover behind a conveniently thin tree until large chunk of rotten cores nailed the fashion diva right against her chest. She let out a grunt and gazed down at her ruined blouse. A tear began to fill the corner of her eye; and then came a hellish rage.

Any and all fears had burnt up into cinders. Downright humiliated, Regina practically ripped their choice of cover right out of the ground, “How dare you!” She stomped and began moving towards her attackers, one broken stiletto at a time. The ground and apple trees alike quaked under each step, as if a Tyrannosaurus Rex was storming down a warpath.

Aprile did her best to console the distraught woman, but it was at times like this that terrified her the most.

The two farm ponies trembled in fear like a pair of goats chained down in a feeding paddock.

The soaking wet Tyrannosaur approached and draped a not so very tiny claw over one of the catapults, “Do you mongrels have any idea what you’ve done!?”

“W-We’re sorry!! W-We just-!“

Regina plucked the cleanest spot of her shirt, “This blouse alone is of my personal collection and carries a value of eight hundred and seventy five dollars and twenty seven cents!” She went on to extensively name every manner of fabric adorned upon her body and its exact retail price, including tax. She thought of also including their European sales counterparts but was too overcome with an unimaginable hatred to calculate the exact foreign tax rate.

Regina ripped a wooden plank right off the catapult's hinge, “And this… coat! This coat!!” The coat had honestly taken the majority of the damage.

Aprile finally gathered the courage to swat away some of the apple seeds and cores off of her friend’s ensemble with her hat, “I-It’s alright Regi-” she realized that it probably wasn’t.

Regina let out a blood curdling scream, suddenly tasting the strangest urge for tenderloin, but luckily Aprile was there to keep her fangs at bay.

“Applejack!” the smaller yellow pony cried out, hiding behind her older sister who was equally petrified.

“Now, now, let's just calm down now..." Aprile knew nothing she said could possibly hold the diva back for much longer.

“We were just tryna’ defend our apple farm from you… weird whatever you are’s! R-Right Applebloom?!”

The filly exaggerated a nod.

Applejack handed Aprile a flyer, “See? We heard there were some weird monsters running around Ponyville!”

“You cover me in rotten applesauce and now you have the audacity to call me a monster!?” Regina would’ve ringed Applejack by the collar if she had one but instead slapped the duster off of the little pony’s head, “You do not throw rocks at a woman who has a machine gun!”

A swift slap landed right across Regina’s cheek, “Now that’s enough!” The smack had almost toppled her off of her feet, but Aprile was there to grab her just in time, “Get a hold of yourself, Regina. That ain’t gonna' solve nothin', and that's sure as heck no way for a guest to act!”

Regina rubbed her cheek. She didn't want to admit it, but her friend was right. At the very least, it was no way for a woman of such class to behave. Regina sighed, and picked up the pony’s hat. She gazed down upon it, feeling as embarrassed as ever, and finally cleaned away some of the dirt before handing it back to Applejack, “I-I apologize, I shouldn’t have behaved in such a way, especially in front of your younger sister.”

Aprile looked on as Regina swatted the apple chunks off her blouse and skirt with as much dignity as she could muster. She threw her coat into the barrel of the catapult, “Come Aprile, we're still in need of directions.”

Applejack didn't have the nerve to put her hat back on, “Now just wait one second here!”

Regina gazed back at the pony, wondering if they'd wanted that last bit of dignity to go with her coat.

The apple farmer dashed up to the two humans, “Look, we got off on the wrong hoof here. You guy’s clearly ain’t no monsters. We’re awfully sorry for the misjudgin' ya’ and ruinin’ your get-up. Let me make it up to ya’ll! I doubt if anyone’s welcomed ya’ to our little town yet.”

“We got some fresh apple pie! Ya’ want some?” Applebloom offered, “It’s the best in all of Ponyville!”

Regina was too embarrassed, and really wanted to refuse the invitation, but Aprile wouldn’t let her, “I’d be kickin’ myself later if I'd let up on a second helpin'!”

Applejack smiled.

“Erm, Raine, I think we’ve been by here before,” Fiona was exaggerating. They had passed the same pile of statue rubble three times by now.

“Oh, hush. I know exactly where I’m going!”

“Oh, uhm, alright then,” even with such an obvious lie, Raine’s confidence was enough to convince Fiona. Such decisions had rarely been helpful in the past, “…Maybe we should ask for directions?”

“Ask who? This place is a ghost town. What we 'need' to do is ask for some directions… Yeah, that’ll get us on track!”

“But I just said...”

“Hey, maybe we can ask those guys?” Raine pointed to a trail of tattered flyers that led up to a meeting of the town’s citizens.

It was a rather large mob of ponies that appeared to be deep in debate, clopping, trotting, and shouting back and forth. Some actually held lit torches.

“Uhm, I-I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” the hint was hardly lost on Fiona at least.

“Nonsense! They’re just a bunch of little ponies. I’ll demand to talk to their leader, best him in combat, and then they’ll open up a magical portal or whatever and we’ll finally get to go home!” Raine was particularly proud of her righteous plan.

Fiona couldn’t help but notice the rubble of the fallen statue just behind them, “I-I don’t think that, uh...”

“Hey! Ponies!” Raine called out.

The colorful group batted their heads over, and it was pretty clear that they were less than happy to see them.

“Mind if we get some help? Ya’ see, we’re a little lost and-”

“Hey! It’s those monsters from before!” a random pony called out.

“That’s the one that tried to hug me to death!” called out a winged gray pony.

Fiona gasped, “What? No I didn’t! Well, maybe I...” her voice was too timid for any real defense to be heard.

A rainbow haired pony zipped in from the very back to meet her new adversaries, “So! You’re the monsters that scared the beans out of every pony and broke our statue of Princess Celestia, huh!?”

Raine checked her neck, completely puzzled. She turned about, and suddenly realized the gravity of the situation, “Uh, oh.”

“Yeah! What’s wrong with you two huh!?”

"Who do you think you are, coming into our town and knocking over our statue!?"

“Ya’ got a problem with us, ponies?”

The crowd mocked and howled at the two, getting closer and closer with their torches. Some even began throwing rocks.

The world’s smallest stone batted Fiona right over the head and she instantly fell to her knees with a soft grunt, “Ouch! That hurt!”

Raine ran over to assist her incapacitated friend.

“Gonna’ break anything else on your way out of town?” questioned Rainbow Dash, “Or are we going to have to throw you out?”

“You wanna’ fight about it, you stupid blue fairy? I’ll take all of you on! Let’s go!” Raine stepped in front of her friend, fists raised in a defensive posture.

Rainbow Dash waved a hoof, “Charge!!”

Pages were practically torn out of their bindings with the little answers they offered, “There’s nothing in any of these books at all about what Dash was going on about!”

“They didn’t exactly sound like monsters, Twilight,” Spike popped a red ruby into his mouth, “Sounded more like humans to me.”

“Humans?” the unicorn asked. Out of all the years she'd spent buried in books, she was surprised to realize how little she knew about the subject matter.

“Yeah, Twilight. Humans. I heard about them once from the Princess, but besides that I don’t know too much about them,” the little dragon waddled over to one of the dozens of bookcases and carefully scrolled through the letters. He combed the bindings and finally uncovered a book labeled ‘A guide to Mysterious Races.'

Before Spike could actually check the table of contents, it lit up in a purple glow and yanked him across the room, crashing him into a tall stack of tomes with an, "Oomph!"

Twilight fell into the pages and at last found the letter, “Ah, hah! Humans, mythical tall creatures from another dimension,” she skimmed through the passages, surprised she hadn't heard more of such a race, “It says here that rarely any at all have ever entered this plane of existence. According to this, the Princess seems to have been one of the very few in all of pony history to have ever met one.”

“Makes sense to me, no wonder they’re so rare. I wonder if they're any good at things like magic or flying.”

“Doesn’t mention any of that here. There’s only a few paragraphs at best! How disappointing...” Twilight stood up, “In any case, if they’re starting trouble around Ponyville like Rainbow Dash mentioned, then it’s up to us to put a stop to it. Come on, Spike!”

Twilight covered her assistant in a fine mist and placed him on her back. The two would’ve made it to the door, but someone opened it before her horn could.

The door jarred, “Uhm, hello? Is this the town’s library?”

“That’s not a Library, Twyla. That’s a tree!”

“But it says ‘Library’ on it, Piper. I mean, I know it’s in tree but why would they call it a Library if it wasn’t a Library?”

“Maybe it’s a Library for squirrels!” Piper giggled.

The door glowed and slammed open, nearly taking the two visitors off their feet, “I’m not a squirrel, I’m a-” Twilight gasped, suddenly faced with the living fiction from her book, “Y-You’re a-!”

“Oh, hi there. My name is Twyla, this is my good friend Piper, and apparently this is for you,” she handed the pony a letter. She wasn't sure how the tiny horse would grab onto it but held it out as a courtesy anyway. In the back of her mind, she was already wondering how these ponies even wrote letters to each other to begin with, but first impressions were everything of course.

The letter suddenly burst into a fine violet flame and to Twyla’s doubled amazement, it hovered from her hand and stuck itself in the purple pony’s saddle pack. Certainly a letter from the mayor of Ponyville was important, but nothing was as amazing as Twilight’s current discovery.

“T-Twyla was it?” she was still a bit nervous given how much taller they were compared to her, “That’s kind of funny, m-my name’s Twilight Sparkle. I-It’s nice to-”

Piper kneed down to meet the pony at eye level, “Hey! This one’s a unicorn!” she poked Twilight’s spiraled horn and a glimmer of magic sparked from its tip, to which Piper gasped and nearly lost her balance.

“Piper! That’s rude! Have some manners,” although Twyla did have to admit that she was just as intrigued by this pony’s magical abilities. It was like something out of a childhood fantasy book, but she’d have to save the questions for later.

Piper gasped, “A baby dragon!”

“S-Stay back!” Spike intervened, “Our buddy Rainbow Dash told us all about you two! If you’re here to cause trouble then you've got another thing coming!”

“Whoa! Wait a second, we’re not here to cause any trouble! We don’t even know where ‘here’ is,” Twyla pleaded.

“You… you don’t?” Spike questioned.

"You'll have to excuse my assistant, Spike," she bopped him over the head for good measure, “Well, how did you get here then? And where did you come from?” Twilight’s questions began pouring out one by one, "And why do you look just like-"

“Uhm, duh! Earth?” Piper took a bonk to the head from Twyla.

“We’re completely lost, and worse yet, we have no idea how we even got here in the first place. I mean, we were in a Karaoke bar of all things just a few hours ago,” Twyla laughed, “Oddly enough, we were having a party, and then wound up here! Funny huh?”

“What? That doesn't make a lick of sense," pondered Twilight, "Oh, excuse me! Just look at us talking at my doorstep,” she giggled, “How rude of me, come inside and make yourselves at home.” Twilight dashed back inside the tree, doing her best to tidy up the place for her otherworldly guests.

Twyla was about to crouch down in order to enter the play school sized doorway when the little dragon gave them a glare, “No funny stuff, got it you two?”

The two nodded, trying their hardest to laugh over the most ridiculous lizard they'd ever seen outside of PBS.

It was certainly much bigger on the inside. Piper had trouble standing up, or rather slouching and finally found it better off to just sit.

Twyla was amazed by the vast assortment of books, “This is amazing. Are all of these your’s?”

Twilight chuckled, “Well, yes but I do have many more back in Canterlot. So, again, do go on. What else happened?”

“That was literally it. We were about to return home after our party and well, here we are, wherever this is.”

“Well, if it helps, you’re located in a place called Ponyville, which is located in Equestria,” Twilight opened a book and showed the guest a map of where they were.

Twyla gazed at the map in bewilderment, “And this is on… Earth?”

“Where else would it be?” the pony chuckled, “I've got to admit, your story sounds pretty strange. It's as if you and your friends just stumbled into our town without any sort of portal or doorway."

“Oh! The Karaoke bar had a doorway!” Piper shouted snuggling against a baby dragon, who'd given up any sort of resistance long ago.

“That’s not what she meant, Piper,” Twyla sighed, “You know, we had come here hoping we’d find some answers, or at least some directions, but all we've found are more questions." She scratched her head, "This is just terrible. I mean, I’m a teacher for Pete's sake! I had a class to teach today, and now the school’s going to think I've skipped out without even calling in! I’ll probably be fired for sure…”

Her words struck a cord in Twilight's heart, "You're a teacher?"

Twyla palmed her face, "Yeah, I teach middle school," she never thought she'd miss even the most obnoxious of brats so early on, "I'm a Biology teacher in a world that doesn't like to pay attention to the facts..."

Twilight picked up the flyer Dash had left with her earlier with a flick of her horn. She eyed he sloppy warnings of danger before finally tearing the note in two, "Well, someone has to pay attention to the facts," she turned to Twyla, "Don't worry, Twyla. We'll get to the bottom of this if it's the last thing we do."

“But how? 'I' don't even know how I got here, and I doubt any of the others are any further along.”

Twilight gasped, “What!?” she gathered the torn pieces of the flyer to remind herself of Dash’s campaign, “Your friends are probably in a heap of trouble! We have to go get all of this straightened out before someone gets hurt. They think you’re all a bunch of monsters!”

Piper laughed, “That's just silly! Why would they call us monsters?”

Twilight scrambled everywhere for the book she came upon earlier, “Darnit, where is that book on mysterious races and humans?”

“You mean this one?” Piper handed the unicorn the exact book, opened to the exact page, with a finger tabbed on the exact starting paragraph.

Twilight needed a second to process the paradox, “How on Earth did you-?”

“Silly! It says it right on the cover, and then in the table of contents. Haven’t you ever read a book before?” Piper snorted.

Twilight’s eye twitched at the burning irony, and then something astronomical hit her, “Piper, was it?” She suddenly noticed the girl’s frizzled pink hair, “You know, you ‘really’ remind me of someone I know,” she then turned back to Twyla, “And that name!”

Twyla raised an eyebrow, “What about my name?”

The pony skipped over and intrusively sniffed the human’s hair, “Your hair! It’s almost exactly like mines! Even the color, it’s exactly the same!”

“What are you talking about!?” cried Twyla, backing away from the pony's sudden intrigue.

“I’m not exactly sure, but there’s something more to all of this. It’s no accident that you’re here, that I'm certain of. Now come on, we need to go make sure your friends aren’t being thrown down a well!”

A shriek came from the Sweet Apple Acres orchard for about the eighth time that day.

“I’m so glad you came when you did Rarity. Our friend here could really use your help,” Applejack had just introduced the refined pony to their new guests, especially the one suffering through post traumatic dress disorder.

Rarity covered her muzzle with a hoof, the sight was simply too much to bare. Regina was practically squatting over her Fischer price chair in a slew of utterly destroyed garments and whatever hint of dignity remained had all but puddled into the dirt below. It was like two train wrecks on the same display. Why would anyone do such a dreadful thing to what was once obviously perfection?

The white unicorn dashed out of the barn as quickly as she could and returned with a stockade of racks, fabrics, linens, tools and machines, “You poor dear! What did these barn yard ruffians do to you!?” Rarity tried to make sense of such a tragedy. It was certain that this, whatever or whoever it was, was clearly someone who had a burning passion for fashion and yet had ultimately been betrayed by it. Dipped in mud, hay, and apple cores and humiliated beyond her wildest nightmares. Oh the humanity!

Rarity analyzed each string of fabric on the woman’s body, quite impressed with the stitching and design. She could easily see through the blotches and stains and pick out what was at one point a particularly gorgeous outfit. She hadn't even seen the expensive coat yet, but both Aprile and Applejack had agreed that it was probably for the best to leave that part out for now.

“Simply terrible, I know. This was one of my favorite pieces too,” Regina sighed, “But please don’t blame these small creatures, they only thought I was some sort of…” Regina was still mortally wounded from before, and could barely even utter the word, let alone a tear to guide it.

“A monster?” added Applebloom.

An arrow shot through Regina’s heart. She was doing her absolute best to maintain her composure, but she may as well have been standing on the firing range.

“Come now! Don’t you dare let these hooligans see your tears, darling,” Rarity took up a tape measure with her magical horn and began running it all across the poor woman’s frame, “I actually do a bit of designing myself, as you can see, so don’t you worry, dear! I’m going to whip up a beautiful new dress for you if it’s the last thing I do!"

"Really, you needn't trouble yourself. I-"

"Nonsense!" Rarity interjected, "Besides, you're our guest, and it's the very least I can do to pay my respects for someone who clearly has such a fine grasp of the finer things in life."

The reassurance was nice and Regina was certainly glad to see someone who finally understood her strife, that is until she found herself enveloped in a fine blue mist and she began floating unpredictably through the air. Rarity’s measurements had to be the keenest for this new project. After all, they didn’t make mannequins in anything other than pony shapes in this town.

Applejack and her new friend chuckled over a couple of plates of freshly baked apple pie. Aprile was still in shock over the crisp and mouthwatering taste, “This here's uncanny! I’ve been an apple farmer for as long as I can remember, and I’ve never tasted anything as rich as this!”

Applejack giggled, “I thank ya’ kindly. These here are the finest apples in all of Ponyville, heck, maybe even all of Equestria! We’ve been workin’ the fields for generations so we know a thinger’ two ‘bout apples.”

“I’d say! Must be something about this place. My family’s run our apple farm for over a century now and nothing’s come close to this!” Aprile scarfed down the last bit of apple pie on her plate. Out of a matter of pride, she was easy on the compliments. Her knees shook with just how delicious the pie was. Only in her wildest dreams could she have ever grown anything as measurable. It almost hurt to think about it, but damn were them some good eats.

Unbeknownst to just about everyone but Applebloom, the day was growing stranger by the minute. Her eyes darted back and forth between Rarity and Regina, and then between Applejack and Aprile. It was as if she were seeing double somehow.

“So you have an apple farm too? Where at?" the pony asked, "I know just about all the local Apple farms, and I don't think I've ever seen any folks like you around these here parts."

“Well, I do, back home anyway,” Aprile cupped her hat and scratched the back of her head, a bit embarrassed, “To be honest, me and my friend there ain't exactly sure where we are. We certainly ain't from around here, this place is way too bright and colorful for what we’re used to.”

“So you’re… not from Earth?”

“No! Of course we’re from Earth, just not… 'this' side of Earth, I suppose. Heck, I’ve never even heard of any place like this before. Equestria was it?”

"E'yup," Applejack hoofed her chin, “That’s darn near the strangest thing I’ve ever heard. How did you end up here in the first place then?”

“No idea! Me and some friends of mine were at a party ya’ see, and then-”

Just then, their lunch was interrupted by a series of crashes and shouts from outside the barn.

“What in tarnation’s is that racket!?” cried Applejack.

The barn door slid open and the group scampered outside, accompanied by a ghoulish floating Regina.

A mob of just about every single pony in town were carving their way through the nearby dirt road, hooting and hollering as they went. At the very tip of the pack stood the most ostentatious fighter Ponyville had ever seen, completely covered in tiny horses.

Raine batted them off one by one like a giant buffalo fighting off a pack of lions on the Serengeti. She was covered in bites and hoof marks but fought on as if she were Fedor Emelianenko himself, “That the best you can do, you dumb mules!?”

She wasn’t exactly asking for forgiveness from the ponyfolk, especially since they had already tied up and crucified Fiona to a wooden pole. Raine was doing all she could to fight them back and rescue the damsel, but the tsunami of colorful marshmallows was just too much to overcome.

Rainbow dash swooped in and landed a swift kick to Raine’s gut. She practically spit up an intestine and tumbled to the ground.

Fluttershy was doing her absolute best to stop the raging riot, but her attempts at peace talks were all but muted by the rampaging crowd. She turned to the gagged Fiona and would’ve apologized a thousand times had the human, or anyone there at all for that matter could’ve heard her correctly. There wasn’t much she could do, that is until the guards handed her the totem pole with the human sacrifice strapped to it before running off to cannibalize the remaining trespasser.

Given the weight, it didn't take very long for the pole to topple out of Fluttershy's trembling hooves, “Oh, I’m so sorry!” she repeated about six times before her real guilt set in. With the others distracted amongst the brawl, the meek little Pegasus immediately untied Fiona and removed the gag from her mouth.

“Oh, uh, thank you so much, but honestly you didn’t have to untie me. I was actually having a lot of fun. You’re all just so adorable! It was like a cute little parade!” Fiona giggled.

“Oh no! Gosh, I’m so sorry...”

The other ponies had backed off as Rainbow Dash flew in for the final blow. Raine did her best to catch her breath as a blue torpedo spiraled towards her. She laid flat on her back and butt scooted herself into a defensive posture, arms and knees raised above her belt.

The crowd cheered the cage fight on. Who knew such delightful little ponies could be so bloodthirsty Raine thought.

The blue Pegasus flew in for a swift punch, but before she could land the hoof she found her torso caught between the girl’s legs. Raine shifted her whole body to the left digging Dash’s face into the dirt so that the pony’s left arm was all that remained barred between Raine’s thighs. She pulled on that arm as hard as she could in one of the best Omoplatas she’d ever executed, “Tap, damn you! Tap!”

Rainbow Dash screamed through the dirt filling her mouth. She could feel her shoulder giving way and tapped every available hoof she had.

The crowds’ cheers suddenly hued into boos. They stomped their hoofs repeatedly, unsure of how to break up the hold.

“Let her go Raine!” Aprile called out, Regina and the ponies in tow.

Raine could hear a clear tap-out, but wanted to watch the little sucker squirm just a bit longer to the horror of everyone watching. To have seen Fiona torn away by a hoard of lunatic marshmallows was all the justification she needed to simply hyper extend the entire arm completely from its socket. She probably would’ve done it too had a purple haze not surrounded the two combatants and split them apart.

“That’s enough you two, break it up!” it was Twilight with Spike on her back who had arrived just in time with Twyla and Piper.

“Raine! What on Earth are you doing to that pony!?” Raine tumbled to Twyla’s feet as the glow subsided.

“I-It wasn’t me! These ponies were attacking me and Fiona! See? Look, they even tied her up!”

Fiona timidly waved, “Well, uhm, I’m free now thanks to my little friend here. Isn’t she just the cutest thing?”

Fluttershy blushed. She clearly wasn’t used to being treated as the ‘cute’ pet.

“Now see here!” the Mayor of Ponyville stepped out of the crowds to meet their guests, “I don’t know what’s going on around here or who all of you are, but I’ve had enough of this rough housing! If you’re going to come into my town and smash up the place then you’re not welcome here! I’d say we’ve made that quite clear today, haven’t we?”

The rest of the town shouted and stomped their hooves in agreement.

“What!? Raine, how could you?” scolded Aprile.

“I don’t even know what they’re talking about! We didn’t break anything! Fiona and I were just walking around looking for some help, when all of a sudden we got mobbed!”

Rainbow Dash rotated her shoulder back into place and zipped over, “Liar! You broke our statue of Princess Celestia! What gives you the right!?”

“No we didn’t!” Raine pleaded.

“Now wait a minute here, my friend’s right,” Twyla argued, walking up to the mayor and the other ponies, “We had nothing to do with it. I clearly remember another little pony flying off after we arrived. She flew right into the statue and knocked it over.”

Fiona darted in, “That’s right! It was that cute little gray one. It was a little scared of me, I guess after I tried to pick it up and pet it… so it flew off and crashed into the statue. Oh, I'm so sorry, dear. I really didn't mean to scare you! Are you okay?”

“That’s true! It toppled over and went ker-splat!” Piper shouted, “Or maybe… ker-rash! Hmm, I'll have to think over the right sound effect for this one.”

“It was such a lovely statue too…” Regina recalled, trying her best to hide her still hideous attire behind Aprile.

The crowd whispered back and forth, and turned their attention to the little gray Pegasus who was too busy scratching the bump on her head to really keep up with her own contradictions.

The true perpetrator was as clear as day by now, and Rainbow Dash really wanted to give her another bruise, “But you told me it was them, Derpy!”

“Doh! My head hurts too much! I don’t even remember who did it anymore."

The entire crowd groaned and Dash eventually got around to giving Derpy a second concussion. The mob ultimately dropped their rocks and torches and dispersed, individually feeling quite frustrated and embarrassed over all of the needless trouble they had caused for themselves.

The accused pillagers were relieved to see their cases dismissed. They walked over and helped Raine up from the dirt road.

“You’re lucky you didn’t make things worse, Raine,” Twyla whispered.

“Surely the best diplomacy I’ve ever seen,” Regina rolled her eyes.

Rained dusted herself off and chuckled, “You guys should’ve seen it, I had them all on the ropes,” She would’ve gone on into more detail, but buttoned her lip as a few of the other ponies approached. It was Twilight Sparkle, Spike, Applejack, Rarity and the Mayor.

Twilight nudged the Mayor with a scowl.

“P-Pardon me, but as the Mayor of Ponyville, I’d like to sincerely apologize on the behalf of all of us. W-We got so caught up in our pride and paranoia that we didn’t stop to think clearly,” She hoofed the back of her head, “If there’s anything at all we can do for you, please, just name it!”

Raine definitely had a long list of requests.

Twilight couldn’t help but butt in, practically knocking Spike off of her back, “Listen you guys, I know this might not be the best time, but there’s definitely something odd going on around here. There’s no coincidence that you're all here like this, I just know it!”

But before Twilight could continue, a rambling cavalcade of sheer madness came trembling down the road behind them. It appeared to be a steam powered series of wagons and trailers all attached to one another, firing off bombardments of what might’ve normally looked like balloons, steamers and even cake batter of all things. That last part clearly must’ve been a misfire, but that didn’t stop the contraption from firing anyway. Jet screams of fireworks roared off into the bright sky, nearly taking everyone off of their collective feet and hooves. Although this may have been used for a nightly occasion, again, we were trying our best here.

A train's horn blew, “Did I hear something about new guests!?” the most enthusiastic little pink pony sat atop the monstrous contrivance as it steamed a path between the crowds, each one either receiving a cupcake or having said cupcake splattered all over their faces. Honestly, they really didn't mind either way.

“Pinkie Pie! Just what in Equestria is that thing!?” thankfully Rainbow Dash had managed to finish her sentence before being splattered against a wall with an enormous wedding cake.

Twilight was a bit anxious to ask the same question. Luckily for her a cute little strawberry flavored cupcake landed perfectly on her nose.

Pretty soon, even the apple trees were covered in cake batter, streamers, and sprinkles. The steam punk party train finally came a shrieking stop just before the six human visitors. Pinkie skipped over a few carts and landed perfectly in front of the group just in time for the train’s front door to reveal an enormous seven decked, rainbow colored, fruit and sprinkle infested, cookie and donut topped, waffled tipped desert goliath. It was unfair to cakes everywhere to refer to such a thing as simply a ‘cake’. This was the absolute culmination of the past one hundred thousand year history of the term ‘smile’.

Titled upon the third tier were the words, “Welcome Friends!” which were shaped out of an already half melted Neapolitan flavored ice cream castle, most of which had already avalanched over a bustle of citrus and pineapple. Not a single soul would have ever dared raise a complaint however.

“Welcome to Ponyville, friends!! My name’s Pinkie Pie! It sure is a dandy pleasure to meet you all!”

Twyla, Aprile, Raine, Regina, Fiona, and Piper all stood before the frosted leviathan utterly dumbfounded, their jaws somewhere by their feet.

Piper fell to her knees and orgasmed on the spot.

Twilight giggled, “Well I guess that takes care of the welcome."

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