Rarity gets a job
"Hmmm, hmm hmmmm..."
The slender unicorn looked up from her magazine when she heard the humming. It was a tune she had heard before. She looked around for the source of the music, her eyes settling on a slightly shorter unicorn whose pearly white coat matched hers. Keeping the magazine drawn up close to her eyes, she noted the curled, violet waves of hair. Oh, she knew this pony. What was her name? Eclair? Clarity? She cleared her throat gently, hoping to get the white and purple pony's - and only that pony's - attention. To her relief, the unicorn turned, revealing a cutie mark resembling three diamonds for a second before they were hidden once more behind a large stack of luggage. Briefly, the mare wondered who would ever bring that much baggage to a public bus stop.
"Oh, hello Fleur!" said Diamond Pony. "It's been a while. You remember me, of course? We met during one of my many visits to Canterlot before. Oh my, do you remember the wedding? Simply frightful!" She laughed delicately. Fleur nodded weakly. If she really had known this mare for that long, she couldn't risk asking her name. It wasn't socially acceptable, and Fleur made a big show of being just that.
"Ah yes, the wedding. It was quite a shock, of course. Thankfully, my Fancy remained true. He is ever the gentlecolt," Fleur responded nervously. Diamond nodded her assent.
"It surprises me that you're at such a, well, normal, bus stop. I'd offer you a ride, but as you can see I have momentary need of public transportation as well." Diamond paused for a moment, blinking her long, curled eyelashes as she awaited an explanation. When she got one, she frowned and pursed her lips.
"Are you alright, darling?" she asked. "I daresay you seem the slightest bit nervous."
Fleur nodded, choosing her words carefully. "My manager would like us to work together," she said. One slip up and Diamond would realize that Fleur didn't know her name, and then it would all be over for her. Fleur's train of thought was interrupted by a short squeal.
"Eeeee! I can't believe it! I'm going to be working with the one and only supermodel, Fleur dis lee! I can picture the headlines now: Rural Town Ponyville's Fashionista Rarity Designs YOUR Clothes!" Rarity exclaimed with barely-contained glee. With that, she mock-fainted onto a large, plush, red couch. Fleur blinked. Where had that come from? With a mental shrug she allowed herself a smile.
"Yes, many ponies have heard about your utterly magnificent fashion skills. Seeing as we have already met in the past, Rarity," Fleur said, relieved at finally knowing the mare's name, "it was a perfect deal. My manager would like to see you at nine AM sharp tomorrow."
Fleur looked up. Rarity was once more standing in front of her. Fleur confusedly noted that the couch was now gone. She opened her mouth to ask about it when the bus came roaring. She coughed, albeit lightly.
"Here, have my handkerchief. You can keep it," chirped Rarity as she boarded the bus. A young earth pony stallion behind her struggled to get her luggage into the bus. Fleur couldn't help but smile at the sight. Enveloping the dainty tissue in her pink magic, she politely coughed some more before stowing it away. What was she really doing here anyway? Fleur stood up from the bench, walking past the admiring stares of the ponies nearby. She'd discuss her schedule with her manager. He always knew what to do.
---
Rarity put some of the finishing touches on Fleur's dress, a wispy, sky blue one with pink highlights that matched the supermodel's mane. Thank Celestia that the manager had been relatively eager to hire her! Ponyville would have to wait a little bit longer. The dress Rarity was working on had a low neckline, designed to be covered by a piece of elegant jewelry. Rarity had a box of necklaces and such for comparison later. There were blue sleeves that blended well at the torso into the pink corset, tied with black lace. A short blue skirt in the back detailed with just the right amount of violet and pink sequins lay on the mannequin's flanks, leaving room for Fleur's long tail. As a final afterthought, Rarity added fishnet stockings, as dark as obsidian, to all four legs. It not only matched the corset lace but would stand out splendidly against Fleur's white coat. Rarity took of her glasses and sighed in satisfaction.
"What do you think, Opal?" she asked her cat. The feline in question glared back before curling up on the hotel bed.
"My thoughts exactly, it may not be that comfortable." Rarity made some minor tweaks before cautiously lifting the dress off of the mannequin with her magic. Turning to face a mirror, she examined herself critically, extending a tendril of telekinesis to properly rearrange her mane. With a cheery wave, she bid her cat farewell, hailing a cab to take her down to the photo studio where Fleur, her manager - who was technically Rarity's as well, now - and the cameraman were waiting. With her new dress beside her and a friendly (thanks to the generous tip) cab driver ahead, the white and purple clothes designer closed her eyes for a moment. Today was going to be a good day.
---
"Hello, I'm Lightning Streak, but you can just call me Streak. I'm Fleur's regular photographer. It's nice to finally meet you, Miss Rarity," said the dark gray pegasus.
"'Finally meet me'? I'm afraid I don't understand," Rarity wondered aloud.
"You didn't know? Many of your designs are becoming very popular," remarked Streak. Speaking of designs... He could see the design she had in mind for Fleur behind her. He admired the short skirt and- He gasped internally. Were those fishnet stockings? Oh, his Playcolt readers would eat this up. Streak smirked to himself. He liked this designer already. He'd never heard of her before now, but he already liked her style.
"Oh, really? Well, I'm very happy to hear that." Rarity beamed at him. "Anyway, I had better go help Fleur with this outfit. We'll be back soon for the photo shoot!"
The mare scampered off, leaving Lightning Streak alone with his highly inappropriate thoughts.
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Somebody's gotta tell you. Its Fleur De Lis, not Fleur Dis Lee. I dont think Fleur is going to be related to Bruce Lee anytime soon.
That might be interesting, though.
OMG
PLEASE CONTINUE
4086826 the flower is called Fleur de lis but in the mlp wiki the pony is Fleur dis lee (I'm assuming a play on words). I prefer to go by the wiki. (For example, Cadance vs Cadence.) Understandably confusing!
And you're right, that does sound interesting...
4087366 Oh, alrighty then.
CADENCE:*flying hoof kick*AIEEEEEEEE!!
BRUCE LEE:*swings nunchucks around*HOWAAAAAAA!
Really good start! Much better than my first attempt. However, there are a few issues. Mostly with pacing. It seems a bit rushed in places, and had it been properly fleshed out and paced, this chapter would have probably been closer to 2000 or so words.
That pacing problem was something that i overcame by getting an editor. In reality, self-editing is a highly risky endeavor. Having someone else to look at the story before you publish it for all to see can make the difference between a mediocre story and a great one. This has potential, and you are not too bad at doing the editing yourself, but i would HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend getting an editor.
With that said, good work so far! You've earned a like from me, and i would probably rate this at a 3/5. I hope this bit of criticism can help you grow and improve as a writer!