Force, Torque and Fulcrum

by Zap Apple Smash

Let's go steal a headliner

Heavy walked into the kitchen, pausing briefly to savour the incredibly appetizing smell and saw Big Mac working at the stove.

“Hey Mac,” he said, “What’s cooking?”

“Minestrone,” The red stallion replied. “Was craving some after seeing that botched attempt at the restaurant.”

“So that whole food critic bit wasn’t just an act?”

Big Mac shrugged. “Started early on helping Granny Smith in the kitchen, add that to more than a few reunions with relatives trying to out do each other in the food department and you pick up a few things.”

Satisfied with the finished soup, Big Mac fill two bowls before passing one to Heavy.

“Family is the most important thing there is, they help make you who you are.” He gave Heavy a hard look. “Don’t ever doubt the importance you have in Scootaloo's life.”

“You’re right.” Heavy conceded. “But thank you for staying to help finish this.”

Big Mac shrugged. “As Notary said, save the thank you’s for after we’re finished.”

“So you do listen to me.”

The two stallions turned to see Notary, Cheerilee and Filthy walking in.

“When you say something worth listening to.”

“Fair enough. Finish your food, it’s time to suit up.”

Big Mac and Heavy Roller finished their soup and followed Filthy to the other room. Notary meanwhile went over to the pot and inspected the soup. After a slight nod of approval, she poured herself a bowlful.

“We should probably eat up, we have a big day ahead of us.”

“Yeah, but I want to talk to you about Bear.” Cheerilee replied.

“Look, I know having someone who could recognise me makes things difficult, but we don’t have anyone to spare.” Notary shot back. “We just have to make sure Bear doesn’t spot me until everything is in motion.”

“That’s not what I mean.” Cheerilee replied. “Do you think Bear is involved in this?

“Honestly? I don’t know.” Notary admitted. “I didn’t know him all that well, but from what I gathered in his background checks and working with him I found him moral but duty-bound. He wouldn’t follow an order that was directly reprehensible but he wouldn’t question what was behind any order he was given either.”

“So there is a chance he may have nothing to do with this?”

“Possibly.”

There was a moment as Notary continued to enjoy her soup. After some deliberation, Cheerilee spoke again.

“Look, I can’t promise Bear won’t be caught in the crossfire of this. If you don’t want to be a part of this I completely understand.”

Notary gave Cheerilee a weak smile.

“I know you would, that’s what makes you a good pony, but I’m not going anywhere. I don’t want to ruin any more lives. I would like Bear to walk away from this unscathed but at the end of the day, he’s just a former work colleague. You’re my friend. I know where my loyalties lie.” Notary took a long sip of her soup. “So you sure this will work?”

“It has to.” Cheerilee admitted, staring into her own bowl.

Notary gave the teacher a reassuring pat on the forehoof. “For what it’s worth, we have faith in you. Isn’t that right?”

“Eeyup.”

Cheerilee turned and gave an approving whistle when she saw Big Mac in costume. “Nicely done.”

“Yes.” FIlthy said as he walked in. “It’s amazing what you can do with enough magazines. So now it’s just a question of getting him a spot in the show.”

Despite herself, a sly grin appeared on Cheerilee’s face.

“That’s going to be the fun part.”

---

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN BOOMING BARITONE CANCELLED?!”

To the theatre manager’s credit, he didn’t flinch even though Stone Wall’s outburst probably could be heard throughout the whole theatre.

“His letter explained that due to unforeseen circumstances he is unable able to perform tonight.” The manager explained.

“He is the opening act for the show!” Stone Wall started to pace. “How dare he do this to me!!”

“His letter does apologise greatly for the inconvenience and he has offered his pupil take his place. Otherwise we could move the second act forward and just....”

“Do you know the calibre of ponies that will be attending tonight?” Stone Wall demanded. “Tonight needs to be perfect!!!”

“Is this a bad time?”

In the doorway to the theatre office stood Subtle Service.

“I was in the neighbourhood and just a wanted to give you a little something to the celebrate our potential future endeavours.” He held up a bottle of well aged scotch.

Despite himself, Stone Wall took the bottle.

“Thank you,” He replied dryly. “I think I’ll be needing this very soon.”

“What seems to be the trouble?” Subtle asked

“Booming Baritone, our opening act for tonight’s show, is unable to perform.”

“Unable to perform?” Subtle said, sounding genuinely shocked. “Did he say why?”

“No, his letter just said ‘unforeseen consequence.’”

---

A somewhat round and portly stallion with a light blue coat and styled black mane stepped out of a train carriage, dragging a small suitcase. He had an expensive looking travel jacket on with a with a silk shirt and bow-tie peeking out. His stage clothes had already been sent to the theatre as per his instructions.

As he climbed down the station platform, the well-dressed pony saw an orange stallion in a chauffeur outfit holding a sign with the name ‘Booming Baritone’ on it.

“Let's get a move on.” Booming said curtly, not even bothering to look him in the eye. “I haven’t got all day.”

“Very good sir.” The chauffeur responded, taking the devo’s luggage.

The singer climbed into the waiting carriage as the chauffeur put himself back in harness. Booming noticed a whisky decanter and a glass waiting for him.

“Good to see you got my preference right,” He called out to the chauffeur. “I expect a smooth ride, it'll be your head if I spill my drink.”

“I'll try my best sir.”

Booming took a long sip of the drink he had poured himself before his eyes narrowed.

“THIS IS JUST ICE TEA!!”

“Of course sir.” There was a loud thud within the carriage as Booming fell unconscious. “Mixing alcohol with a sleeping potion would be greatly irresponsible.”

---

“And to add insult to injury, he sent one of his no name pupils to fill in for him.” Stone Wall started to pace. “As if I will accept some talentless hack opening up for my show.”

“Now now, Stone Wall. I’m sure someone as notable as Booming Baritone wouldn’t send someone in their stead unless they felt they were up to the task.” Subtle reasuured. “Who did he send?”

“Somepony called Bass Clef.” The manager offered.

“Oh.” Despite only using one syllable Subtle sounded impressed.

“You know of him?” Stone Wall asked.

“Not intimately.” Subtle admitted. “He opened for Booming Baritone in one of the Hoofington performances I attended. He showed potential.”

Stone Wall stood thoughtful for a moment before the manager spoke up.

“Bass Clef and his agent are still waiting in the main hall. Shall I tell them to leave?”

“No,” Stone Wall finally said. “I will resolve this matter personally.” He turned to Subtle. “Thank you for the gift. Hopefully I will see you at the show tonight.”

Knowing a dismissal when he heard one, Subtle took his leave.

---

As Stone Wall entered the Main Hall, he took the time to make sure decorations were on track. There were rows of seats on the ground level with the rest of the levels filled with the theatre boxes. This included the royal box, that a couple of ponies were making sure was ready for when the Princess took her seat. Apparently the theatre had been designed to emulate the great halls of Canterlot so while it wasn’t nearly as grand, it still had a lot of the same finishing.

Everyone he passed that saw him gave a quick greeting and acknowledgement then got back to work. The faces he didn’t recognise were a serious looking brown mare in business suit, a fat charcoal coloured stallion that looked as big as a house in all directions and a purple mare in one of the gaudiest sun dresses he had ever seen.

Noticing him entering, the brown mare approached Stone Wall.

“Mr Wall, it’s a pleasure to meet you, I am Dotted Line. Bass Clef’s agent. I can’t apologise enough for any inconvenience caused by Booming Baritone’s cancellation. Still, while Bass Clef is not quite as renowned as Booming yet, he is more than capable of give a great show.” The agent spoke in a crisp Trottingham accent as she fished out papers from her briefcase. “ I have some commendations from previous performances that should highlight his skill.”

“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!” The purple mare let out a long high pitched note.

“Who is that?” Stone Wall asked.

“That’s Amethyst Brooch.” Dotted Lined answered in what appeared to be strained patience. “Bass Clef’s vocal coach and the bane of my existence.”

Amethyst joined the two.

“The acoustics in your theatre could be better but they will serve Bass Clef’s performance well enough.”

“There’s not going to be a performance unless I see him in action and am convinced he has what it takes. I want hear him sing.”

“Mr Wall.” Dotted Line stammered. “I have a list of his previous shows as well as glowing commendations from people that have attend his performances. Surely that is evidence of his ability to perform for you tonight.”

“The only evidence I see right now is evidence that Bass Clef ATE Booming Baritone.” Stone Wall shot back, giving the agent a hard stare. “Now either your client gets on stage and wows me or else not only will I not have him perform tonight, I will make sure neither he nor Booming work in this town again.”

“Enough!”

Both Dotted Line and Stone Wall turned to see Amethyst tapping her hoof.

“Why must art be hampered by this needless prattle?” She asked in a clipped Prench accent. “If Bass Clef must sing to prove his worth then he will sing.” She then closed the distance between her and Stone Wall. “But know this, if his performance tonight is hampered because he strained his voice to satisfy your demands, then you will answer to me.”

Stone Wall rolled his eyes.

“I’ll take my chances.”

“BASS CLEF!!!” Amethyst bellowed, causing everyone to jump. “To the stage.”

Following instructions, Bass Clef went onto the stage and did a few vocal warm ups. While all the eyes were on stage no-one noticed Dotted Line shifting over to stand beside Amethyst.

“We’re in trouble.” Dotted Line said through grit teeth.

“Just hold on.” Amethyst Brooch replied in a hushed tone.

“Hold on?! I can fake an apology letter and commendations but as soon as Big Mac opens his mouth we’re…”

Nessun dorma!

Bass Clef’s voice rang out, silencing the theatre.

Nessun dorma!
Tu pure, o Principessa,
nella tua fredda stanza,
guardi le stelle
che tremano d'amore, e di speranza!
Ma il mio mistero chiuso in me;
il nome mio nessun sapra!
No, No! Sulla tua bocca lo diro quando la luce splendera!
Ed il mio bacio sciogliera il silenzio
che ti fa mia!
Il nome suo nessun sapr,
E noi dovrem, ahim, morir, morir!
Dilegua, o notte! Tramontate, stelle!
Tramontate, stelle! All'alba vincero!
Vincero!
Vincero!

Stone Wall turned to sound of clapping and saw the stage manager applauding. Said manager stopped clapping and gave a sheepish grin. Amethyst managed to close Dotted Line’s gaping mouth before Stone Wall noticed.

“Fine, I’m convinced.” The pegasus conceded. “But I am not paying him the same as what was promised to Booming.”

“That is regrettable but understandable.” Dotted Line replied. “There is however, one last thing we need to discuss. The manuscript for the show says that Bass Clef will be singing from a roll out boat prop.” She pulled out a clipboard and gave it to Stone Wall, who recognised that it had a standard stage access consent form. “We would like to bring a contractor in to assess the prop and make sure it is safe for Bass Clef to use.”

“All of the sets and props meet standard regulations.”

“Puh!!” Amethyst spat. “Your measly standards can not comprehend the sheer presence that Bass Clef possesses.”

Amethyst was shoved out of the way by Dotted Line.

“What she means is that the last three sets that were built to standard regulations have broken under Bass Clef’s weight.” She said frankly. “I have made it a point to get anything that has to support him doubled checked. We have a contractor on retainer who will be able to have the prop checked and suitably reinforced within the hour. All at no extra cost to you.”

“Fine.” Stone Wall signed the consent form and gave it back. “But your guy better not disrupt the rest of the preparations.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Dotted Line said, “I hear tonight’s show will be quite memorable.”

As the stage Manager took Bass Clef to his dressing room, Dotted Line and Amethyst Brooch went to one of the side entrances to make the necessary arrangements.

“You know Cheerilee,” Notary said, dropping the Dotted Line persona. “As thankful as I am that Big Mac didn’t bury this plan into a shallow grave, a heads up would have been nice.”

“What, and miss that look on your face?” Cheerilee asked with cheeky grin. “Besides, do you honestly think that I would put him in the role if I didn’t know he could pull that off?”

“Fair enough but how exactly did you know he could?” Notary demanded.

Cheerilee shrugged, “He likes to sing in the shower.”

Notary stopped as Cheerilee walked off.

“Wait, what?”

---

“Here you are, mister Clef.” The stagehand said. “We’ll come get you when it’s time for make up.”

Bass Clef simply nodded and then made a shooing motion. The stagehand left quickly, leaving the singer with his agent. Said singer turned to inspect the room, it was what you would expected out of a theatre like this. He then noticed Notary staring at him.

“What?”

“I underestimated you.” She said simply.

The stallion shrugged. “Most ponies do. I’m sure you can relate.”

A faint smile appeared on her face. “It does have its uses though.”

“Eeyup.”

There was a knock on the door. It opened to reveal two stallions with a large case.

“Is this Bass Clef’s dressing room? We got his costumes.”

“Brilliant, bring it in.”

---

Cheerilee lead Heavy to the back entrance of the theatre. His coat was dyed red and he wore a cap and overalls that made his body shape look different. He was also pulling a wagon filled with wood, tools and various spare parts.

They arrived at the entrance. Cheerilee pulled out the clip board with the form that Stone Wall had signed and gave to the guard waiting there.

“This is Fine Finish.” Cheerilee explained. “He’s here to look at the prop.”

“What’s going on here?”

Load Bearing and a security detail approached.
“While you were finishing up at headquarters, the opening act canceled.” The guard explained. “They got a replacement but apparently he’s a fatty so they called in someone to reinforce the prop.”

Load Bearing raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Search the wagon for contraband.” He said as he took the clipboard, looking it over as the guards searched the wagon.

“You’re not the usual person we get for the props.”

“Nope, the agent of the opening act hires me.” Heavy replied, deliberately affecting a Neigh Jersey accent. “I know what sorta reinforcement the big guy needs.”

“Wagon’s clear sir, just timber, nails and tools.”

Load Bearing nodded with grudging approval and then looked at the carpenter one last time. After a tense moment he gave back the clipboard.

“You will work quickly and efficiently. You will not work outside the area we have allocated to you or disturb anyone else. When you have finished you will notify one of the personnel and be escorted off the premises. Do I make myself clear?”

“Look buddy,” Heavy replied. “So long as I’m getting paid, you’ll get no argument from me.”

Load Bearing glared at the carpenter. “I’m not your buddy.”

“Sure thing, pal.” Heavy replied as he walked past.

The two earth ponies and the wagon were led to one of the theatre workshops. The boat prop was there waiting for them.

Once they were alone, Cheerilee turned to Heavy.

“What was that bit at the end about?”

“Key to smuggling; don’t antagonise security but be irritating enough that they want you gone as soon as possible.”

Cheerilee didn’t really have a response to that.

“Well, I’ll better go check on the rest.”

Once completely alone, Heavy push a switch hidden on the rear axle of the wagon. A false compartment opened up, revealing some key components to his little project.

“Well then, let’s make some magic.”

---

“Alright listen up!” Load Bearing called out the security personnel. “In two hours this theatre will start letting in guests for the pre show party so I want a full sweep of this theatre before they arrive. You all know where you need to be once the show starts. The boss has requested that I personally supervise security in the guest areas. So I’ve brought in Trigger Happy from the playground to supervise backstage.” He pointed to a nearby unicorn. “I expect her to have your full obedience and attention. If I find out even one of you acted insubordinate, then you all will answer to me. Now get to work.”

As the rest of the security spread out, Trigger Happy approached Load Bearing.

“Sir, you never responded to my request to bring my crossbow.”

“Because I knew you would bring it even if I said no.” The stallion snorted. “Just so we’re clear, I am not going to be the one who explains to the boss why there is a bolt filled corpse.”

“Understood sir, I’ll only use it if I have to,” the mare responded. “One shot, one kill.”

“How about no shooting and no killing.”

“I’ll try sir.” Trigger Happy opened up the case she had been carrying and got to work assembling her crossbow. “So why bring me in? I’m R&D.”

“Because you’re a fresh set of eyes and a sharp pair at that.” Load Bearing responded. “The team all know what they need to do but that break-in back at headquarters showed we’re not as sharp as we need to be. We can’t afford for there to be any surprises.”

“Read you loud and clear.” The mare said as she checked the sights. “So anything particular I need to watch out for?”

“Just anything that doesn’t look like it belongs here and if you do see anything suspicious I want you...to…”

Load Bearing trailed off when he noticed a mare leaving one of the dressing rooms.

“Sir?”

“I’ll get back to you.” He started to walk off only to return and take all the bolts that had been in the case. “You’ll get these back when I know you’ll behave yourself.”

“Killjoy.” Trigger Happy mutter under her breath.

Load Bearing meanwhile approached the stage manager to ask whose dressing room it was.

---

Notary was scanning the security detail. By now, Cheerilee would have been well finished with Heavy and getting into position. Now it was up to Notary to keep an eye out for any causes for concern.

She turned and was suddenly confronted by Load Bearing. Despite every instinct telling her to run she kept her voice neutral and refrained from making eye contact.

“Can I help you?”

“Yes you can. Notary.” He replied. “You can tell me what you’re doing here, why you’re in that disguise and why everyone thinks your name is ‘Dotted-Line’.”

Comments

[bahatumay]

>he likes to sing in the shower

>that last line

[DracoDarastrix]

Oops she got busted, glad to see this story continues now.

[Talon and Thorn]

Is there nothing Big Mac cannot do?

Well we did already know his singing talents from the Ponytones, and I made him an opera singer in the Cadenceverse as well.

[Zap Apple Smash]

7158132

7158385
Thanks, it's good to be back.

7159093
Well, opinion is divided on his ability to cook Risotto