Force, Torque and Fulcrum

by Zap Apple Smash

First published

Five earth ponies hatch a plan to get leverage on an ambitious private security contractor who seeks to blackmail an innocent stallion for his own ends. Because sometimes honest ponies make the best thieves.

Heavy Roller is a stallion satisfied with his life as a single father of Scootaloo, one of the most energetic pegasus fillies in Ponyville.

But when a strong-arming businesspony named Stone Wall tries to force him to work for him by threatening to ruin his dead wife's reputation and use Heavy's own checkered past to get him declared an unfit parent, what can one pony do to keep his daughter?

Lucky for him a certain school teacher with a checkered past of her own and some of her friends might just have the talents to help him:

Cheerilee - Elementary school teacher, ex-party mare and partially reformed retrieval expert.

Big Macintosh - Full-time farmer, part-time bounty hunter and combat specialist.

Filthy Rich - Prominent Ponyville business stallion skilled in negotiation and manipulation.

Notary - Former personal assistant to a corrupt Canterlot noble and unparalleled information broker.

Together they will head down to Manehatten and just maybe they can get the one thing Heavy needs to get the Stone off his back:

Leverage.


Co-created with Dmgtitan
Beta Read by Wolfstorm56

Let's go start a story

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The late autumn sun shone brightly through the windows of Ponyville’s only wagon repair shop.

In a lot of ways the workshop inside was a metaphor of the stallion who ran it. It didn’t follow a conventional system but everything was where it needed to be.

Spare wagon wheels of various sizes stacked within reach of both the wagon jack and where a small pulley winch on the ceiling is able lift the wagons up completely. To one side was a small forge to make new pins and wheel hoops. To the other was a workbench with carpentry tools, all placed in order of what they were usually used in order to fix a wagon.

A half finished buckboard was propped up on blocks and the smell of sawdust and fresh paint filled the air. For anyone else, this set up would have been described as organised chaos. But to a bright orange stallion with a messy brown mane and a wagon wheel for a cutie mark, it was paradise.

Heavy Roller was making an early start on his work load. Even in a town as small as Ponyville when you are the only wagon repair shop there is always work to be done. He paused briefly as an orange blur sped past him, eager to make the most of the first day of school holidays.

"Bye Dad! Heading out to play with my friends."

"SCOOTALOO!" The young filly stopped at the sound of her father's voice. "Forget anything?"

"I remembered my helmet."

"Anything else?"

"Yes, I cleaned my room."

"Anything else?"

"Yes, I brushed my teeth."

In an act of fatherly patience, Heavy Roller gestured to his cheek.

"Oh." Scootaloo raced forward and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. "Love you dad."

"Love you too, have fun."

The filly raced out the door, past a photo of a beautiful pegasus mare trying her best to keep a much younger Scootaloo still for the photo. Heavy Roller gave a good natured roll of his eyes, her daughter was just as full of energy as her mother. If only she could have seen the fine young mare Scootaloo was turning into. With that thought he returned to his work.

That was until the bell above the door rang, signalling someone entering the wagon repair shop.
.
"Good morning," The repair stallion said cheerfully. "How can I ... help ... you..." His voice trailed off when he saw the type of ponies that had entered his store. In front was a stallion in an expensive three piece suit that had been tailored to accommodate the wings on his back. Behind him was a surprisingly burly looking unicorn.

"Good morning, Mr. Roller." The pegasus said as he pulled out a business card. "I am Stone Wall of Stone Wall Securities, this is my associate, Load Bearing."

"Well, welcome to my shop. So, what sort of wagon did you need worked on?"

Stone Wall gave Load Bearing a meaningful glance. The unicorn nodded and headed back outside.

"Is he fetching the wagon?"

"No." Stone Wall said. "He is simply ensuring that we are not interrupted."

Heavy Roller paused at this. "I'm starting to think that you've come to the wrong place."

"No, Mr Roller, I've come exactly the right place." Stone Wall said smugly. "Or would you prefer 'Mr Magic'?"

The earth stallion took a slight misstep that he quickly tried to cover up. "Why would I prefer a dumb name like that?"

"We both know why." Stone Wall replied. "Don't play dumb, you're not good at it."

"What do you want?" The repair pony said through grit teeth.

"I have some jobs that require a stallion of your talents."

“Well, unless those jobs involve busted up wagons then you've come to the wrong place."

Stone Wall didn't reply but simply pulled out a file. He dropped it onto a bench, letting it fall open, revealing documents as well as a picture of a younger looking Heavy Roller.

"Tell me Mr Roller. What do you think the ponies in this town would do if they knew how you spent your youth."

"They would congratulate me on having turned my life around." The earth pony replied as he defiantly closed the file. "My record has been cleared. I paid for all my crimes and became an honest citizen."

"The owner of the Moon Tear Necklace would say otherwise." Stone Wall retorted. "Tell me, do you think the state would let you keep your daughter if they had reason to believe you had reverted back to a life of crime?"

"I had nothing to do with that." Heavy Roller snapped, his anger rising.

"Well, this file tells a different story." Stone Wall replied. "And the best part is that you used your wife as an accomplice. To think that such an upstanding guard could be so corrupted is disheartening."

The business pony pulled out a train ticket and placed it on the counter. "What you have is two options, either you take that train to Manehatten in one week’s time and come to discuss the terms of our new partnership or the original file makes its way to the authorities and you never see your daughter again. Choose wisely."


It was late in the afternoon as Cheerilee stepped into the workshop. “Heavy Roller! Are you here?”

She stopped when she noticed the repair stallion at his workbench, staring intently at a ticket.

“Roller?” She inquisitively tapped the stallion on the shoulder.

“CHEERILEE!!” The stallion jumped into the air as he finally noticed the teacher’s presence. “What are you doing here?”

She raised an eyebrow. “We were supposed to have a parent teacher conference today. You didn’t show.”

Heavy Roller slapped his forehead in recollection. “Oh I’m sorry Cheerilee, I got bogged down with work and lost track of time. Can we reschedule?”

Cheerilee’s eyebrow stayed raised. Heavy Roller had never missed an interview and for someone who was ‘bogged down with work’ there were remarkably few wagons in the workshop. She then noticed the ticket he had been staring at.

“Heading to Manehatten?” She asked.

“Oh yeah.” He said a bit too quickly. “Just some business I need to take care of.”

He tried to reach for the ticket only for Cheerilee to abruptly slam her hoof over it.

“Funny thing about being a teacher,” She said in a level tone as she looked him in the eye. “You start being really good at telling when somepony is lying to you.”

“Cheerilee...” Heavy Roller pleaded. “It’s better you didn’t get involved.”

The teacher gave him a hard look before finally removing her hoof from the ticket.

“Come on.” She said as she started to head to the door. “Let’s go somewhere to talk.”

“I’m not really…”

“That wasn’t a request.”

Heavy followed Cheerilee to Berry Punch’s bar.

“Hey Berry Punch,” The teacher called as she arrived at the counter. “One order of Truth Serum and two glasses.”

“Coming up.” The bar mare called back.

“Truth Serum?”

Right on cue a couple of glasses and a full bottle of scotch slid into Cheerilee’s waiting hooves. She filled one glass and passed it to Heavy Roller.

“Now you either tell me what’s going on or else I make you down the whole bottle.”

Heavy stared at the the glass, realizing that Cheerilee was serious, before taking a long sip. He then started to explain the situation.

Including how he had spent his youth.


A wagon was travelling down a deserted back road. Pulling it were two stallions with a third one in the drivers seat

“I still don’t see why you’re not helping us pull this wagon.” Kickback grumbled.

“Because I’m the one who worked all night packing it.” Heavy Roller shot back. “Now quit complaining. We’re almost there.”

The trio arrived at a warehouse where a group of ponies in hoods and robes were waiting for them.

The wagon came to a stop as Heavy Roller jumped off to greet the buyers. “Well, hello there. Did somepony order a special delivery?”

The lead pony lowered her hood to reveal a mare.

“Are you Mr. Magic?”

Heavy Roller smile widened at the presence of a pretty face. “Indeed I am, and who might you be?”

“The buyer.” She replied as her associate opened a chest containing the bits that had been promised. “I trust you have the goods.”

“Oh somepony like you can definitely trust me.” The smuggler replied. “Now if your associates wouldn’t mind.”

The buyer’s associates made short work of getting the barrels off the wagon. They also gave the wagon a once over to make sure it was empty. All was going well until they opened the barrels.

“There’s nothing in these but nails.” One called out.

“Yeah those are mine.” Heavy Roller replied. “I passed a smithy on the way that offered me a good deal on them. You would not believe how many nails someone in my line of work goes through.” he then noticed the hard look the buyer was giving him. “Oh come on, you don’t think I would have made it through the three check points it took to get here by hiding the goods in barrels do you?”

“I don’t like having my time wasted.” The buyer said in a warning tone.

“I would never dream of wasting such a pretty mare’s time.” Heavy Roller said in his usual swagger. He then reached down between the wagon’s side and wheel hub and pushed a hidden button on the wagon. There was then a click and a hidden compartment built into the bed of the wagon swung open, revealing the slim packages of contraband he had been tasked with delivering.

“Impressive.” The buyer said in a tone that almost sounded like admiration.

“Well if you like I can show you a few more of my skills.” Heavy Roller said with a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows.

“Oh you’ve shown me quite enough.” The buyer opened her robe slightly to reveal the emblem of the Royal Guard. “You’re under arrest.”

Within 10 seconds, the smugglers were surrounded by formerly robe wearing guards, along with several more that had been in hiding. Heavy Roller let out a groan of frustration.

“Make sure the deal was legit.” He glared daggers at his compatriot. “You had one job, Lugnut! One job!”


“And that was how I met Nocturne.” Heavy Roller said wistfully. “Right from the start I thought she was the most beautiful mare I had ever seen. After we were caught she was also in charge of my interrogation. She offered me a deal. Apparently I was small potatoes. If I helped her take down my clients they would clear my record. I gave a counter offer: I help her take down my clients, she gets my record cleared and goes on a date with me. She punched me in the face and threatened to take any deal off the table but I knew she was interested.”

“Obviously.”

“Eventually I was able to wear her down and, once I had convinced her that I had honestly reformed she gave me a chance, then another, and another, and eventually we became an item.”

“And what is this about a ‘Moon Tear Necklace’?.”

“After we were married there was this function at some noble’s estate where the necklace was going to be put on display. Nocturne and I were still in that stage where we couldn’t keep our hooves off each other. She was part of the security detail there so I came to visit her. That night that necklace got stolen.”

“And you two would be blamed for it because...?”

“Because she wasn’t at her post when the Necklace was stolen. She managed to avoid an investigation by coming clean about what we were doing. It was a blow to her career but it was still better than being accused of theft. This file of his is full of lies but it’s compelling. If the case is reopened and I'm implicated, I may lose custody of Scootaloo." Heavy Roller looked at the teacher in dismay. “I’ve already lost my wife, I can’t lose my daughter too.”

“Could you report him?”

“It would be my word against his,” He countered. “and then once the file is released, Nocturne’s name would be worth mud and it would just look like I was trying to shift blame.”

"So are you going to work with this Stone Wall?"

"I may be out of the game but I still know how it's played." Heavy Roller said soberly. "The minute I do a job for him then he has me." He then banged his head against the table. “No matter what I do, I lose.”

The school teacher nodded thoughtfully, the gears in her head turning as she tried to assess the situation. Finally coming to a decision, she drained her glass before placing it on the counter.

"Come on."

The repair stallion did a double take. "Where are we going?"

"To get some help, if we're going to do this we will need more hooves on deck."

"Do what?" Roller asked. "What are you on about?"

"Ponies like Stone Wall... corporations like Stone Wall Securities, they have all the resources, they have all the power, and they use it to make ponies like you do what they want." Cheerilee explained. "Right now, you're suffering under an enormous weight. There's only one cure for that."

"Which is?"

"Leverage."

Let's go assemble a team

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“Leverage?” Heavy Roller asked. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve been in the game, you know exactly what I mean.” Cheerilee replied. “Stone Wall has every advantage and he’s using that to apply as much pressure as possible to get you to comply. If you simply push back it will end badly for you and Scootaloo. What we need to do is find some angle we can use to either get him to back off or make him no longer an issue. To do that we need to get information and a plan but before that we need a team.”

“But you’re a school teacher.” Heavy Roller said in disbelief. “What do you know of the game?”

Cheerilee paused before giving him a knowing smile.

“I wasn’t always a school teacher..”


Cheerilee - Teacher

The Governor of Maris stepped into the office, clearly furious. "Put her there."

One of the security guards stepped into the office with a teenage mulberry mare. Her mane was in pigtails, she wore a short dress that seemed to be doing a better job drawing attention to her hind legs than actually covering them. She was forcibly pushed into a seat.

"Young lady, you are in a whole lot of trouble."

The mare looked up at the stallions in dismay. "What's the big deal? I was invited to this party."

"You were found in the west wing of the manor. That area was out of bounds."

"I was looking for a bathroom."

"You defiled a hundred year old fountain."

"I didn't find one in time."

Ex-Party Mare

"What is she even doing at this function?" The governor asked.

"Your son invited her." The guard answered.

"Well go get him, NOW!"

As the guard left, the ambassador turned back to the mare. "You both are going to learn that actions have consequences."

"What, like a govenor stealing a copy of the Gryphondus Codex from a widow in Fillydelphia and hiding it in his estate?"

Before the Governor could react, he was knocked out by a hoof to the jaw. Satisfied the ambassador was down, Cheerilee wasted no time locating the Codex, then stripped her dress away to reveal a climbing harness. She put the codex in a specifically made pouch and anchored her line to the deck.

"Always told Berry Punch the Prench knew how to throw a party."

She then jumped out the window.

Retrieval Expert


The two earth ponies arrived at the Sweet Apple Acres farm to find Big Mac, a stallion easily recognised by his bright red coat and his large stature, mending a fence in preparation for the harsher winter weather that was expected to come in the next few weeks. With the last harvest gathered and the bounty all stored and shipped, there was time for maintenance around the farm before the winter snow came in.

He was busy using a big hammer to knock the final post in. The post was a third of the way in of what it needed to be when Cheerilee and Heavy Roller caught his attention.

“Eeyup?” The farmer asked.

“We have a problem that I was hoping you could help us with.” The teacher explained, “Can we talk?”

“Eeyup.” Big Mac replied as he lined up the hammer for another shot.

“Some Manehatten scum bag is trying to strong arm Heavy Roller and is trying to use Scootaloo and his dead wife to do it.”

The red stallion stopped mid swing. Realising this was not a conversation that could afford his attention being divided, he dropped the hammer he had been holding in his mouth and lined up his bare hoof. With one mighty swing, he knocked the post all the way into place.

Despite the grave reason for her being there, Cheerilee took a moment to stare blankly at the post. “Why didn’t you just do that in the first place?”

“Splinters.” Big Mac replied. He started to suck on the side on his hoof as he waited for them to explain.

To the teacher’s credit, she was much more succinct in explaining the situation than Heavy Roller had been. She finished with asking, “Will you help us?”

“Eeyup.”

Big Mac turned back to make quick work of the fence before he started to prepare.

“Great. We’ll leave on the first train tomorrow.” Cheerilee declared. “Though would you mind asking him for help? You know him better than I do.”

Big Mac paused for a moment then shrugged. “Eeyup.”

“What ‘him’?” Heavy Roller asked. “Who are you talking about?”

“One thing at a time.” The mare replied as she started to walk off.

Heavy Roller followed and waited until they were out of earshot before voicing his concerns.

“Yes, let’s look at one big thing. No offence to Big Macintosh, but is an apple farmer really the type of help we need?”

“Maybe not.” Cheerilee admitted. “Which makes it a good thing he’s more than just an apple farmer.”


Big Mac - Farmer

The crimson stallion paused to look at the sign of bar to make sure he was in the right place, confirming that it was in fact the "Cordial Conductor". After only a brief of scan of the not so cordial patrons, he found his target in the form of a beige earth stallion sitting at the bar. Big Mac walked up to the beige pony and pointedly cleared his throat. The beige pony looked up and sneered.

"What do you want?"

Big Mac pulled out a wanted notice for "Bobbing Boxcar" with a picture of the beige stallion at the top.

"Let's keep this civil," Big Mac said. "Finish your drink and come quietly."

Bounty Hunter

Bobbing responded by spitting on the wanted notice and giving a meaningful look to some of his comrades. Soon, Big Mac found himself surrounded by a group of burly rail-road workers.

"Tell you what," Bobbing replied smugly. "I finish my drink and my friends rearrange your face."

30 seconds later, Big Mac was still standing where he had been before but now the floor was littered with bruised and unconscious ponies. He didn't say anything when he turned back to Bobbing and instead just raised an eyebrow. Bobbing quickly downed to remaining part of his drink.

"I'll come quietly." He answered meekly.

Urban Combat Specialist


Cheerilee and Heavy Roller made it back to town in relative silence. Cheerilee because she was still formulating a plan, Heavy Roller because the reality of what was happening seemed to have jammed his brain.

“I’m going to send word to a friend of mine to see if she can help us. You sort out a place for Scootaloo to stay while you’re away. We’ll meet up tomorrow at ten to take the first train to Manehatten.”

“Cheerilee just stop.” The orange stallion ordered. “What exactly are we doing here? Getting together a group of your acquaintances, heading to Manehatten and getting Stone Wall to back off through some crazy scheme you’ve just concocted?”

“Actually we’ll first head down to Manehatten, get a better idea of what we’re up against. Then we’ll concoct some scheme to get him to back off.” She grinned. “The crazy part is optional.”

“And why would any of the others go through with something like this?”

“Because we asked them.” Cheerilee realised that Heavy Roller didn’t seem convinced. “Just trust me, okay? I care about your daughter too and I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t think I could help her.”

“Even if it means doing something deceitful?”

“If it comes to it, yes.”

“Cheerilee, I appreciate that you’re trying to help.” Heavy Roller finally said. “But I can’t do this.”

“Can’t or won’t?” The teacher asked in a mild but deliberate tone.

“I was not always a good pony but I put all that behind me.” He stated. “I’m an honest stallion now.”

“And I’m an honest teacher.” Cheerilee replied. “And Big Macintosh’s whole family line is built on honesty. But we know that sometimes honest ponies are forced to do dishonest things. Now I teach to my students the value of honesty but I know that I will put mine aside if I have to in order to protect them.”

She turned to leave. “I won’t act as if I know the best way for you to protect your daughter but a student of mine has been threatened. I can’t let that go unanswered. I will be on that train tomorrow, whether or not you’ll be is up to you.”


Heavy Roller was finishing the last of the dishes while Scootaloo was finishing clearing the table, all the while chatting animatedly about her day. He tried his best to pay attention to what she was saying but his mind was elsewhere.

Quite unintentionally, his gaze fell upon two pictures on the wall. Both had Nocturne in them but were special for different reasons. The first was a picture of her in full Guard uniform, wearing an expression that seemed to say ‘mess with me and I will thrash you in eighteen different ways’. The second was her lying in a hospital bed, looking exhausted but unbelievably happy. In her arms was a tiny orange foal.

He had always kept those pictures together because to him that had encompassed the mare she had been. She had been a wonderful mother and a far better wife than Heavy felt he had deserved but at her core she was also a fighter. No matter what the cause, be it her family or the safety of Equestria, she would not back down.

If she had been in Heavy Roller’s position, he knew exactly what she would do.

“And then Applebloom is all ‘I don’t think those were spare parts...” The young filly trailed off as she realised Heavy Roller wasn’t paying attention.

“Sorry kiddo, I was miles away.” He said apologetically. “Listen, some urgent business has come up at the last minute so I’m going to be out of town for a week or so. I will be leaving tomorrow.”

Scootaloo tilted her head but then shrugged, as outside of the norm as that sounded, she didn’t have any reason to doubt him. “Okay, Dad.” She then realised something. “Wait...you’re not going to leave me with Mr. Zippo again are you?”

“I still don’t understand your grudge against him.” The wagon repairer stated.

“Last time you left me with him he mistook me for his pet parrot, Crackers.” The filly replied flatly.

“While his eyesight may being failing him, he means well.”

“He tried to stick me in Crackers’ cage!”


The big clock at the station showed ten minutes to Ten. Cheerilee and Big Mac were sitting at one of the few tables at the station’s cafe, waiting for the rest of their company to show up.

“So you’re sure he’ll be here?” Cheerilee asked.

“He said he would be.” The farmer replied. “And your friend?”

“Got word this morning, she’ll meet us is in Manehatten.”

“Why aren’t we bringing in any of your other Ponyville friends?” He asked.

“I’d like to but some of them wouldn’t be right for this sort of job. And the others…” Cheerilee paused as she tried to find the right words. “This would place them in a moral dilemma that I don’t really want to force upon them. I mean I appreciate that this is already colouring further outside the lines than you usually like.”

“Then why ask me?” The stallion asked.

“I need somepony I can trust to keep everypony safe.” Cheerilee explained. “And to keep me on track.”

Big Mac raised an eyebrow. “On track?”

“To pull this off I am probably going to have to be that crazy, risk-taking mare that I haven’t really been in quite a while.” Cheerilee paused. “Or at least haven’t gone all the way in a while.”

“What about that rumour I heard about you impersonating a judge?” Big Mac asked.

“That was different. It wasn’t my idea and I was just helping out a friend.” The purple mare argued. “I haven’t taken the lead in a stunt this crazy since...”

“The griffin empire?”

Cheerilee grimaced. The less said about that particular trainwreck, the better.

“Just...stop me if I take things too far.”

“Eeyup.”

The conversation paused when they heard the sound of hooves approaching. They looked up and saw Heavy Roller heading towards the table. There was a moment of not quite awkward silence as the three stared at each other.

“So you’re in?” Big Mac finally asked.

Heavy Roller nodded. “Nocturne might have been the Royal Guard in the family but I am not going to stand by and make other ponies fight my battles for me.”

The red stallion simply nodded in response.

“Hope I’m not late.”

The three earth ponies turned and saw a stallion with a brown coat and a slicked back charcoal mane wearing a red tie. Beside him was an elderly butler carrying a suitcase.

“Filthy Rich?!” Heavy Roller couldn’t keep the surprise out of his voice.

“The one and the same.” The business stallion stated. “I hear that you were given an offer that is frankly unacceptable.”

“You could say that.” Heavy Roller admitted.

Filthy Rich gave the repair stallion a sly grin. “Well then, perhaps I can help you make a counter offer.”


Filthy Rich - Business Stallion

Filthy Rich stepped into the office of a pony named Highroller, one of the biggest collectors in Hoofington, holding a brief case.

"Hello Highroller, how are you today?"

"Spare me the pleasantries," Highroller snapped. "We both know you're here about the Morning Star Tiara."

"Indeed, the piece you somehow managed to convince the owner to sell to you privately before I had a chance to bid on it at auction." Filthy replied. "The same piece I had my heart set on giving Diamond Tiara for her next birthday."

Doting Father

Highroller rolled his eyes.

"Even if I didn't find the idea of you giving such a one of kind piece to a young filly ludicrous, I am a collector, not a seller. So I don't care how much money you have in that brief case, I'm not selling to you and that's final."

"Oh it's not money."

Filthy Rich opened the case, revealing a single book inside, that instantly caught Highroller's attention.

"Is that...?"

"Volume 3 of Northstar's Compendium."

The Ponyville business stallion purposely did not draw attention to the fact that Highrollers current collection of Northstar's Compendium had a special place right in the centre of the book case behind the desk, including Volumes 1, 2, 4, and 5.

Filthy then promptly slammed the case shut.

"I was going to offer a trade but you've made it clear you're not willing to part with the Tiara so I'm not going to insult either of our intellects by pushing the matter. Have a good day."

Filthy made it halfway to the door.

"Wait!"

Filthy made sure to wipe the smug grin off his face before turning back to face Highroller.

"Yes?" He asked pleasantly.

Master Manipulator


Cheerilee then noticed Filthy Rich’s butler had started loading several cases onto the train.

“Isn’t that a tad excessive?”

“I like to be prepared.” Filthy replied. “Now I’m not sure what you arranged for your daughter while you’re away but she’d be more than welcome to stay at the manor. If you give me the address I can get Randolf to go collect her.”

Heavy Roller paused, despite the generosity of the offer, the idea of Scootaloo being let loose on a house filled with very expensive and easily broken items scared him more than this mission did.

“No no, it’s fine.” Heavy Roller insisted. “I left her with some of Nocturne’s old friends, they’ll keep a good eye on her.”


BOOM!

Two armored mares ducked behind a pile of sandbags only to be showed with dirt while their ears rang. The purple mare glared at her yellow comrade.

“I wanted to teach her the basics of swordsmareship, but noooo. You had to go and show her a demolitions demonstration!”

Over the ringing they could hear a young voice shouting: “SO AWESOME!”


A sharp whistle pierced the air.

“ALL ABOARD!”

Heavy Roller looked around at the rest of the table. Together they were a farmer, a teacher, business pony and a wagon repairer. Four honest ponies willing to do what it took to keep his daughter safe.

“Alright then.” Heavy Roller finally said. “Let’s go do something dishonest.”

Let's go research a mark

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The train ride to Manehatten was for the most part fairly uneventful. The conductor had stopped by to inform passengers that it would be another three hours before they reached Manehatten. After some small talk with Cheerilee and a failed attempt at a nap, Heavy was getting antsy. Finally he declared that he was going to go stretch his legs.

Shortly after the cartwright left the car, Filthy Rich, who had been occupying himself with the business section of the Canterlot Times, placed his paper down and said that he was going to go find some refreshments.

Cheerilee and Big Mac simply nodded in acknowledgement as the second stallion left the car.

“It’s always the quiet moments that get to ponies.” Cheerilee commented.

“Eeyup.” Big Mac replied.

“So how’d you manage to be able to leave on such short notice?’” She asked.

“Told them I was heading to Manehatten to help a friend.”

“The family was fine with that?”

“Eeyup.”

“Ask many questions?”

“Not as many as they probably should have.”


Applejack was in the kitchen, pencil in her mouth as she was going through the winter inventories a third time to make sure she hadn't missed anything.

Big Mac walked in. "Hey sis, I'm heading up to Manehatten to help out a friend."

"Mmhmm," Applejack replied, never taking her eyes off the inventory.

"I've done my share of the winter prep but Caramel will be back in town in a few days so he can help if anything turns up."

"Mmhmm."

"I'll send word if it ends up taking longer than a week."

"Mmhmm."

"And it looks like somepony’s replaced the harvest from the south field with kumquats."

Applejack spat out the pencil in shock.

"THEY WHAT?!"

Big Mac smirked. "Just making sure you were paying attention."


After some idle wondering, Heavy Roller decided to go down to the bar car. Maybe a stiff drink would calm his nerves. He ordered a large single malt from the bar mare and sat down in a corner booth to sip at his drink. He drifted into a bit of a reverie while watching the scenery flow past the window, which he was abruptly broken out of when somepony sat down across from him.

"Mind if i join you?" asked Filthy Rich, setting down a lightly fizzing scotch and seltzer.

"Oh, sure, not at all." He replied.

They sat in companionable, if slightly awkward silence before Heavy cleared his throat, "Mr. Rich can I ask you something?"

"Of course, but please just call me Rich."

"Well Rich, I was just wondering why you're helping us, helping me."

The brown stallion raised an eyebrow.

"Not that I'm not grateful." Heavy said quickly, "But I have to figure that anypony who would just drop everything to run off to Manehatten to confront a stallion with his own private army has to have reasons of his own for doing so."

Rich’s eyebrows furrowed as he took a slow pull from his drink before replying, "Very shrewd of you, Roller. And yes, I do have my reasons."

"Which are?"

"Well I could say that it’s because Macintosh and Cheerilee asked me to. Or because keeping an innocent pony out of jail and his daughter out of an orphanage is the right thing to do, and those would be perfectly good reasons to be doing all this. But I suppose the true reason is because I despise ponies like Stone Wall!"

Heavy was taken aback by the sheer vitriol that had suddenly appeared in Rich's voice. The brown stallion took a deeper pull of his drink before continuing.

"Mr. Roller, I'm a businesspony. I pride myself on being able to play any deal or negotiation I'm in like a Stradivarius. And even though I stand by the belief that every pony has a price, there is some currencies and products you just don’t deal in. This Stone Wall character has descended to the tactics of gutter scum and that is precisely what he has proven himself to be in my eyes."

Heavy sat back, observing the fuming earth pony over the rim of his mug, letting him continue.

"I never knew your wife sir, but everything I have heard tells me she was an honorable soldier and a loving family mare. And to threaten your daughter's future like that!”

He paused to take a calming breath.

“I'm a father myself and there is nothing in this world more important to me than my little Tiara, and I can see how much you love that little hellion of yours." Rich said with a coy grin.

"As opposed to that bossy little princess of yours?" Heavy countered, with the commiserating smile of haggard fathers everywhere.

"Heh. I'm not blind to my daughter's behavior, sir and I do my best to raise her right though I admit that I have a bad habit of spoiling her sometimes. And regardless of her wild antics I have seen that your daughter is healthy, happy and loved. And I won't let gutter scum like Stone Wall destroy that, Mr Roller, not if I can help it." Rich declared, downing his drink and forcefully placing it upside down on the table.

The orange stallion sat silently for a full minute before chugging his own drink, slamming it down and holding out his hoof with a smile, "Call me Heavy."


When the group arrived in Manehatten’s Grand Central Station they found out that the train carrying the final member would be arriving fairly shortly. They decided it would be easier to wait.

Or at least that had been the plan until they noticed the way Heavy Roller was pacing back and forth, in fact, most of the station was starting to notice.

“Why don’t I take Heavy back to where we’re staying and you two wait for the train?” Mr Rich offered.

“Good idea,” Cheerilee agreed. “Though it does raise the question of where we’ll be staying while we’re here.”

“I can ask my Aunt and Uncle for a place.” Big Mac offered.

“No need, I have a place we can use.” Filthy answered. “When Sterling Silver and I realised we’d both be coming to Manehatten more and more often for business we decided buy a place to timeshare between us. I know I could have afforded to buy a place by myself but that seemed needlessly extravagant.” Filthy passed her a slip of paper with an address on it before he and Heavy left with their luggage.

“So will we be able to get help from your network while we’re in town?” Cheerilee asked when she and Big Mac were alone.

“For the last time it’s not a network.” Big Mac argued. “It’s just a group of friends and relatives that I make an effort to stay in touch with.”

“That you just happen to have in every major town and city.” She commented, rolling her eyes.

“The strongest tree is the one with the widest roots.” Big Mac replied sagely.

The teacher raised an eyebrow. “So on that strangely philosophical note, anypony that could help us?”

“Nope.” He admitted. “All my Manehatten connections are tied to the Orange family and I don’t really want to bring them too much into this.”

“Fair enough.”

The train finally arrived. Cheerilee and Big Mac watched the ponies depart from the train until they saw the one they had been waiting for.

A white mare stepped out of the train car, carrying a large suitcase. Admittedly the most remarkable thing about the mare was how incredibly unremarkable she was. She had a white coat, white mane, was of average build and had a quill and parchment for her cutie mark.

Frankly it was safe to say that her suitcase made more of a first impression than she did.

“Notary!” Cheerilee exclaimed as she ran up to give the mare a hug. “Thank you for coming.”

“What was I going to do?” Notary asked mockingly. “Not come? Besides I had some vacation time I needed to use.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it just seems to pile up without me realising it.” She then noticed Big Mac standing there. “So is this hired muscle yours?”

“Nope.” The stallion replied. “Doing this gig pro bono.”

The white mare stared quizzically at Big Mac until recognition struck. "You’re the apple farmer I met when I visited Ponyville.”

“And you're the mare that tried to alphabetise Cheerilee’s fish.” The stallion countered.

Notary’s mouth quirked slightly but she returned her attention to Cheerilee, “So will anypony else be joining us for this little playdate or is the crimson wonder the only help we’ll be getting?”

“The rest have already headed to our base of operations.” Cheerilee interjected before Big Mac could speak. “Let’s head out.”

As Cheerilee started to lead the way, the farmer picked up Notary’s suitcase, much to the mare’s ire.

“I’m perfectly capable of carrying my own luggage.” Notary said in a heated whisper.

“Figured you wanted to rest up,” Big Mac replied, “You look a little pale.”

Notary glowered. “Why are you actually here?”

“To make sure the team stays safe.” Big Mac answered. “And you?”

“To make sure the team stays…” Notary paused as she tried to find the right word. “Informed.”


Notary - Secretary

Notary was busy enjoying her afternoon off in a cafe, happily sipping her cup of tea. Her peace and quiet was interrupted by a well-dressed pegasus stopping in front of her table.

"You're a hard mare to find, Notary."

Notary sighed as she placed the cup down. "Apparently not hard enough, Mrs Finch. What can I do for you?"

Frantic Finch puffed up slightly. "A lot actually, starting with making amends for the damage you helped do to my husband’s reputation."

The white mare rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Mrs Finch, regardless of what my former employer has done, he has lost his title and his position, possibly forever. I no longer work for him and have left Canterlot all together hoping to make a fresh start. Isn't trying to get revenge at this point just a little petty?"

"Reformed" Citizen

"Don't you dare call me petty!" Mrs Finch snapped. "He might have nothing left to lose but you certainly do."

She then pulled out a thick file and laid it on the table.

"You may have managed to leave Canterlot unscathed but I've got more than enough on you to make sure that unless you do what I tell you the only place you'll be able to find work is the Griffon Empire."

Notary looked down at the file, which from the thickness seemed to be well researched and highly comprehensive, then back up at Mrs Finch. She finally let out another sigh.

"Mrs Finch, allow me to give you some candid advice. Blackmail is a dirty way of doing business that has the potential of backfiring. If, however, you are going to do it, at least be smart about it. Don't wave a file full of embarrassing factoids at the target and hope something will scare them into submission. Research your target, understand how they think and what they value."

She took a nearby napkin and wrote something on it. "And then find the one piece of information that will threaten them at their very core."

Notary pushed the napkin towards Mrs Finch. The pegasus nonchalantly picked it up and read it. Upon realizing what was written there, she visibly paled. She looked back up at Notary, her mouth open and bottom lip trembling.

The earth pony had the decency not to look smug. "I trust that there won't be any more visits like this." She waited for the pegasus to nod. "Good day Mrs Finch."

Without another word the pegasus took off. After a minute or so, Notary's curiosity got the better of her and she opened the file. She then scoffed.

"I really wish ponies would stop trying to use Neigh Orleans against me." She muttered. "It's just tacky."

Information Broker


The three ponies made it to the address Filthy Rich had given them. They barely contained their surprise when they entered the large multi room apartment.

“Of course.” Cheerilee commented dryly. “This is by no means what you’d call needlessly extravagant.”

As if on cue, Filthy and Heavy stepped out.

“Great, you’re here.” He said as he approached the three, he held out his hoof to Notary. “I’m Filthy Rich.”

“I noticed.” Notary replied dryly as she took the hoof.

“I’m Heavy Roller.” The orange stallion said as he held out his hoof. “Thank you so much for coming to help.”

“Notary,” the secretary replied. “And don’t take this the wrong way but how about we save the thank you’s for after we’re finished taking on the morally ambiguous CEO with a personal army.”

She then went past the stallions to a nearby table where she started to empty out various files from her suitcase. Filthy meanwhile approached Cheerilee.

“Not to sound ungrateful for the added help,” He said diplomatically. “But who exactly is she?”

“Her name is Notary, she’s an old friend of mine and she’s here to help.” Cheerilee replied. “Anything else is up to her to tell you.”


Four of the earth ponies sat at the table, various files and paper work in front of them, all centred around two things; Stone Wall and Stone Wall Securities.

Notary meanwhile stood in front of them, ready to present her findings as if she was a CEO at a stock meeting.

“The one thing you need to know about the Wall family is that there are only two fields its members excel in: construction and fighting. Every family member worth remembering either helped build the Manehatten skyline, got arrested on assault charges or in a few cases both.” Notary explained. “Stone Wall was no exception. Deciding that he didn’t want to pick up a 9 to 5 trade, but wanted to dignify his more aggressive tendencies, he decided to join the royal guard, then when he got sick of that he decided to turn to private security.”

“So instead of serving his country he decided to become some thug for hire?” Heavy asked. “As if I didn’t hate him enough.”

“Don’t lump all private security with him.” Big Mac stated. “There are a lot of decent ponies in the field just trying to make a living.”

“And the last thing he wanted to do was go be a battlefield mercenary.” Notary answered. “He sold most of the assets from his family's construction company get the starting capital and then used his family connections to grow his new business. Once he got Stone Wall Securities off the ground he sought to appeal to the rich and affluent. Selling them on the idea of peace of mind that could only be achieved buying the best protection money can buy.”

“Really?”

The white mare nodded “He promises the best to his clients; best training, best recruits, best equipment. Not only does he guarantee a high standard, he also invest time and resources into R&D in to make their equipment even better. At least, that’s what the business statement says.”

“And in reality?” Cheerilee asked.

Notary shrugged. “From what I can tell, if his operation is better than any other security company, it’s not by much. The only difference is that he puts more effort in the window dressing.”

“You seem to have a lot of information on this fellow.” Filthy commented.

“It’s not the first time he’s caught my attention.” The white mare admitted. “He never garnered enough to warrant further investigation though since his operation was mainly based in Manehatten. Most of what I gather on his business and his financials I got from what companies are expected to by law release to public, plus the whispers I could gather from the grapevine.”

Filthy Rich looked down at the company’s financials. “His private sector operation appears to have been highly lucrative.”

“Yes but it’s gaining major defence or military contracts that he’s really after. He keeps trying to get them but he’s constantly stonewalled, no pun intended, probably because he has yet to prove his company could handle military work. It doesn't help that most ponies think he's a jerk even when he's not blackmailing single fathers." She paused. "My sympathies."

"Thanks." Heavy said dryly. "But if they think he's jerk why work for him?"

"You don't have to like someone to be willing to work with them." Filthy commented. "You just have to believe they're going to help you make money.”

"And he was.” Notary interjected, wanting to get the attention back to her. “However in the last six months he has invested a fortune in things like buying mineral rich land for resources like metal and timber, hiring a lot more ponies and purchasing or signing deals with several other security/defence companies.”

“Really?” Filthy seemed genuinely surprised as he glanced over the information to confirm what Notary had said. “That makes no sense.”

“Why?” Cheerilee asked

“This really aggressive growth program,” Filthy explained. “Sure the private sector has been good to him but that can only take him so far. Their projected earnings don’t reflect such a growth and all these extra resources will only be wasted if he can’t find a demand for them. If he keeps this up, he’ll bleed this company dry before he even begins get a whiff of return on his investments.”

“Could we use that?” Heavy asked. “Maybe if we get him fired then maybe he’ll back off.”

“Easier said than done.” Filthy commented. “If he keeps running the company like this without some big payoff, the board of directors will probably come after him by the next fiscal year, but not in the time frame we need him out of the picture.”

“How about a thunder valley play?” Big Mac offered.

“A what?” Filthy asked.

“A thunder valley play is when you convince the target that they’re up against an opponent they can’t beat, thus getting them to back off without engaging.” Cheerilee explained, “It’s based on the battle of Thunder Valley where a smaller army got the larger one to surrender by making them believe they were up against superior numbers.”

“Won’t work.” Heavy Roller countered. “Even if we manage to convince him that I have an army that could take on his company, that would just give him more incentive to release the evidence, if only to eliminate the threat.”

“Could you find anything we could use?” Cheerilee asked Notary.

“Not really,” She admitted. “His operation is either genuinely clean or he’s just really careful. If I had a chance to look through his files I could maybe find something but to do that I would need to find a way to get into his office building.”

“And to do that we would need some sort of an in to at least scope the place.” Cheerilee added.

The business pony rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “What do we know about him that isn’t related to his business?”

Notary paused.

“Well when he's not running his company he likes to play the role of Upper Class Manehattanite. He invests a lot into the arts, probably as a way to to look good to the socialites since I’ve found nothing to suggest he actually cares for it.”

She moved some of the papers to the side to reveal a newspaper of Stone Wall in front of a theatre .

“He purchased the Wall Flower Theatre, one of the many theatres found on Bridle Way, and I don’t think he knows what he’s supposed to do with it. Honestly the only thing more incredible than his attempts to gain favour is it’s mediocre success.” She concluded.

“Hmm.” Filthy said thoughtfully.

“What are you thinking Rich?” Cheerilee asked.

Filthy’s thoughtful expression turned into an almost sinister grin, “I think it’s time Stone Wall made a new friend.”

Let's go make a friend

View Online

"For the last time we did not order a wagon load of Rubber Chickens and Creme Pies!"

The deliver stallion let out a frustrated huff. “Look buddy, my service order says to deliver this stuff to 103 Bridle Way, now are you going to sign for this load or not?"

"NO!"

"But isn't this where they’re hosting Uncle Chuckle's Comedy Symposium?"

"NO! This is the Wall Flower Theater at 103 Bridle Way and we're hosting the Royal HMS Amore Variety Show. The Comedy Symposium is being held at the May Flower Theater down the street! At 301 Bridle Way!"

"Oh. Well sorry for the trouble sir, they must have mistaken the address. Good day."

The manager of the Wall Flower Theatre let a out frustrated groan as he turned away from the incompetent delivery pony. He stopped when he noticed a fancy carriage being pulled by a remarkably robust stallion. The thing that most drew the manager’s attention wasn’t the extravagance of the carriage or the size of the stallion pulling it but the coat of arms on the side. It wasn’t one he recognised but you did not show off a coat of arms unless you were a high level noble.

The carriage came to a stop in front of the theater and out stepped a stallion wearing a fancy white coat and vest. His grey mane was perfectly styled and a pair of round glasses covered his blue eyes. He looked around, seemingly to confirm that he was at the right location. Once satisfied, he turned back to the well dressed mare still inside the coach.

“Thank you so much for the lift, Duchess.” He said. “I hope it was not an inconvenience.”

“Not at all,” The mare replied. “And considering the effort you must have gone through to make those arrangements for me, this seemed like mere courtesy.”

“Madame, for you, I simply consider it a pleasure to be able to serve.” He took the mare’s hoof and placed a gentle kiss on it. “Have safe trip home.”

After pausing to wave off the carriage, the stallion turned towards the theatre, seemingly only now noticing the manager standing there.

“Ah, what a brilliant coincidence,” The stallion exclaimed. “You’re the manager of this theatre, are you not?”

“Err...yeah.” The theatre manager replied. “Can I help you?”

“Well yes you can,” The stallion responded. “For starters, you can straighten that tie of yours. It’s simply disgraceful.”

Before the manager could even respond, the strange stallion was already busy straightening his tie, showing a lot of dexterity with his hooves.

“Honestly, if the new owner ever finds out their theatre is being run by someone can’t even do a tie properly, they’ll have a fit.”

The manager slapped away the invading hooves. “Listen, I don’t know who you are but you can’t…” He paused. “What do you mean new owner?”

Realisation seemed to dawn on the stallion. “Of course, I’m getting ahead of myself, shall we go to your office?”

Not waiting for the a reply, the stallion headed into the theatre. The manager, realising that there was no way around this, lead him to his office.

“Well isn’t this quaint.” The stallion turned back to the manager. “Now if you would just let me fix that tie.”

“FORGET THE TIE!” The manager exclaimed. “Who are you? And what do you mean “new owner”?”

“My name is Subtle Service,” The stallion explained. “My employer is going to be buying this theatre.”

“This theatre already has an owner.” The manager retorted. “And last I heard he had no intention of selling the place.”

Subtle Service let out a good natured chuckle as he pushed his glasses back up his nose. “Ah my good, poorly dressed, stallion. This theatre doesn’t have an owner, it has some Nouveau Riche pretender that doesn’t know what to do with the place. My employer will have a deal closed within the week. If you still want to have a job after that point I suggest you free up some time in your calendar so that we go over the details of what will be expected of you.”

The manager paused. “Actually, if you give me a moment sort out a couple of things I’d be free to talk right now.”

Subtle Service made himself comfortable in a nearby seat. “By all means.”

The manager left the office. Subtle Service sat for a few minutes before finally deciding to explore the office. There wasn't much of interest until he noticed a copper tube sticking out of the wall.

"What does that do?" He thought out loud.

"It's a communication tube." Subtle Service turned to see a pegasus standing in the doorway. "It and several others around the theatre are linked to a communication center in the basement where a private telegraph is also installed."

"Sounds expensive." Subtle Service commented. “Do you work here?”

“In a manner of speaking. I’m the Nouveau Riche pretender that owns the place.”

“Ah.” Subtle said as he realised who he was talking to. “It appears word travels fast around here.”

"I value communication." Stone Wall replied flatly. He then closed the distance with the earth pony, allowing for the manager and Load Bearing to come into the office. "So communicate. Who are you and who do you work for?"

“My name is Subtle Service. And I work for a lot of ponies, which is actually why I’m here.” He explained. “I wasn’t expecting to meet up with you so soon. But it does move my schedule forward so I’m not complaining.”

“Your schedule?”

“Yes, my schedule, I was wanting to get some one-on-one time with you so I figured the best way to get your attention would be to say I represented someone interested in buying the place and then have you come to me.”

Stone Wall raised an eyebrow. “So you lied about wanting to buy the theatre.”

“Eh...90% lied.” Subtle Service shrugged. “I do have a client who’s looking to buy a theatre in Manehatten but it doesn’t have to be this theatre. This was more about getting the chance to meet you.”

“You could have booked an appointment at my office.”

“And have to wait a few weeks for you to make time for me? Doesn’t fit my time frame.” Subtle Service answered. “Besides, seeing you handle this matter personally means that you are a defence contractor worth getting to know.”

While the manager and Load Bearing still looked skeptical, a faint smile appeared on Stone Wall’s face. “You have guts.” He admitted. “That has earned you two minutes of my time before my associate escorts you off the premise and you never bother me again.”

“Fair enough. I’ll keep it brief then.” The earth pony took in a deep breath. “I’m what you may call a concierge, only without the hotel. I cater to a highly elite clientele that want particular tastes catered to with the utmost care...and discretion. I mainly operate in Canterlot but I do occasionally branch out.”

“I see.” Stone Wall said, not sounding particularly impressed. “And I suppose you are here to convince me that I am in need of your services?”

“Quite the opposite, I am in need of yours.”

“Excuse me?”

“I have resources to cater to nearly all of my client’s desires. All sorts of desires.” Subtle Service continued. “However it has come to my attention that what I don’t have to provide is well trained muscle. Muscle that looks professional, can do the job, and know when to keep their mouths shut about what they see.”

“And the reason that they’re sending you instead of coming to me directly?”

“You know how ponies are. When they want to hire somepony, be it a builder or a body guard, they want to know they’re getting someone good. I’m here to see what you have on offer and then, if I think that you are worth my employer’s time, they will contact you directly about purchasing your services. And trust me when I say that this is something you definitely want.”

“That is a lot to take on just trust.” Stone Wall responded. “Especially since you haven’t produced any credentials or even told me who your employers are.”

Subtle Service shrugged. “You’re right. I haven’t given you proof that I’m worth your while. I could be completely making this up and trying to con you with a story. I could also be working for some really rich, really well connected ponies that if I tell them your company isn’t worth their time they won’t go near it with a ten hoof pole. Are you a betting stallion?”

Stone Wall gave the earth pony a discerning look over. Finally he shrugged slightly. “Come to our head office at 2 o’clock. The theatre manager will give you the address.” He then left the office, Load Bearing following close behind.

Once the two were out of the theatre, Stone Wall turned his attention back to his associate.

“Make sure everything is in order at the head office. We’re going to treat him like any potential client. Give him the standard tour but keep him away from anything sensitive.”

“Understood.”


After getting the address from the manager (and another failed attempt to correct his tie) Subtle Service walked out of the theatre. Once he was about half a block down the road he paused by a bench where a mare was reading a newspaper, seemingly to check one of his cufflinks.

“Are we clear?” He asked.

“Yes.” The paper shifted slightly to reveal Cheerilee. “So you just happened to have a few trunks full of costumes for situations like this?”

“They’re actually from the Ponyville Theatrical Society.” Filthy explained as he removed the glasses. “When Big Mac explained the situation to me, I thought it might come in handy so I called in a few favours.”

“And here I thought those donations were because of your love of the arts.”

“Can’t they be both?” He mused rhetorically. “Though can I say, you played a very convincing Duchess.”

She grinned while giving a brief shrug. “It’s not exactly the first time I’ve impersonated nobility.”

“So where is the rest of the team?”

“Notary is getting the intel she needs for the hitting the head office, Big Mac is stowing away the carriage and Heavy is finding a home for all those cream pies and rubber chickens. Somewhere."


"I must say it is mighty generous of you to donate all this for the symposium." The stallion in clown makeup said.

"My pleasure entirely Mr Chuckles." Heavy dismissed genially. "I have always believed in the power of laughter."

"Please, call me Uncle."


"So what exactly do you want me to be looking for while I'm on this tour?" Filthy asked.

"Anything that we can use to against Stone Wall or anything that looks like it could could be hiding something we can use."

Filthy replaced his glasses. "Well that's a relief, for a moment I thought we had no idea what we're looking for."


The clock behind the receptionist read 2 O'Clock as Subtle Service walked into the head office of Stone Wall Securities.

"Welcome to Stone Wall Securities." The receptionist said as she noticed the stallion. "How may I help you?"

"I'm here to see Stone Wall. My name is Subtle Service."

"You're not down for an appointment." The receptionist commented as she looked through the planner. "Do you have a pass?"

"It's alright." Load Bearing said, having just walked into the entrance hall. "Mr Wall's expecting him."

Load Bearing lead Subtle Service to the staircase. The two then started the climb. After a moment, Subtle Service tried to break the awkward silence.

"I bet that scar has an interesting story." The earth pony said, drawing attention to the large mark on his jawline.

"Fought a moose." Load Bearing replied. "The moose lost."

Subtle Service soon realised that he wasn't going get anything more than that.

The reached the desired floor and came to a hallway. Subtle Service was about to press on but was stopped by Load Bearing holding out his hoof.

“I do not tell my employer who he does and doesn’t do business with, Mr Service.” The unicorn said in a low tone. “But I do take protecting him and his assets very seriously, understand?”

Subtle Service took a moment to size up Load Bearing. He finally spoke again as he moved the unicorn’s hoof out of the way.

“Whatever they pay you - it isn’t enough.”

“You know he’s not wrong.” One of the nearby guards commented.

“Get back to your patrol!” Load Bearing scolded.

Subtle Service gave an approving whistle as he passed various cases filled with assorted weapons, all looking very expensive or very old (and therefore also very expensive). He was only able to turn his attention away from the display when he saw that he had arrived at a large and well furnished office.

At the desk was Stone Wall, going over some paperwork. He looked up and smiled as he saw the earth pony. “Ah Mr Service, you made it.”

“Yes, and I’m excited to see what you have on offer.”

“You will not be disappointed.” Stone Wall stood up from the desk and turned to Load Bearing. “Go make sure my reservations for the meeting with Covered Bridge is in order.”

“Yes, sir.”

As Load Bearing left, the pegasus refocused his attention to Subtle Service. “Shall we?”


“Here we have Strategic Planning.” Stone Wall said as they entered a room where ponies were going over blue prints. “It’s their job to examine the locations our clients want us to protect, we check for blindspots as well as weak points and insure that our resources are being used most efficiently. That means better protection for the client at a better price.”


“Here is our Logistics department. They insure that all the troops have the equipment and provisions they need to effectively do their job.”


“Here is our Pony Resources department. They handle hiring and various other employee related matters. Making sure we have top notch employees in order to provide top notch protection.”


“Our language center is where we prepare our forces for dealing with clients that speak in other languages. We don’t ask our employees to be fluent but they need to at least be able to give simple instructions.”

“We need to get you into the panic room.” The instructor said.

“Nous avons besoin de vous entrer dans la salle de panique!” The pupil replied.

“His grammar needs work.” Subtle commented.

“It’s about being functional, not fluent.” Stone Wall said dismissively. “They need to be able to keep the client safe, not have a conversation with them.” He then called out the instructor. “Continuez votre bon lapin!”

The pupil looked like he was about to say something but was silenced by look the instructor gave him.


As they walked down one hallway, Subtle noticed pictures of various important looking figures (both pony and otherwise) surrounded by ponies wearing Stone Wall Securities uniforms.

“Pictures of the various individuals my company has helped keep safe.” Stone Wall commented, having been stopped by somepony to sign some documents (the third pony to have stopped him during this tour). “Slightly boastful, I know, but it does help employee morale to see them.”


“And what part of the operation do you have here?”

“Nothing.” Stone Wall admitted. “We lease out the top ten floors as office space for various businesses. It’s a premium location and we provide the security, at minimal extra cost.”

“That’s nice but why bring me up here?”

Stone Wall pointed to a Barista working at nearby lounge. “This place makes the best Hazlenut oat lattes in town, interested?”


“So, what do you think?” Stone Wall asked, after they had finished their lattes.

“You’ve certainly have shown to have the ability to handle the logistics and administration.” Subtle Service replied. “And forgive me if I sound a little blunt but I had been hoping to see how you handle the more...aggressive side of personal security.”

The CEO actually smiled at that. “Perfectly understandable, what good is a guard detail that can’t protect their client?” He turned to one of his staff. “Ready the coach, it’s time to take Mr Service to the playroom.”


The “playroom” turned out to be a large, multi floor warehouse in the industrial district set next to what looked like a cross between an apartment building and a military barracks behind high walls. The coach pulled through the well patrolled gate and Stone escorted his guest across the large training yard out front which was busy with strapping stallions and mares running obstacle courses, sparring with each other and throwing and shooting various weapons at hay targets.
They entered the warehouse ground floor to find it full of supplies and gear with a large section left clear for Stone's demonstration.

"As you can see my security forces are well supplied with all the tools of the trade needed to do their jobs and are well trained in their use. This over here is something i am particularly proud of." Stone said, leading the way to long table next to a shooting range. On it were a series of conventional and many more not-so-conventional crossbows.

"If you would Trigger Happy."

A mare with a slightly overenthusiastic grin picked up the weapon on the table. "Ok, so here we have the standard Royal Guard issue crossbow, a fairly accurate and powerful weapon." This she proceeded to demonstrate by firing it down range, hitting the center of the wooden bullseye and sinking the quarrel into the wood up to its fletching.

"As I say, perfectly serviceable but very limited in many ways. Which brings us to the upgraded Stone Wall Securities' model." She said holding up a weapon that looked alot like that last one except that it had a long, skinny box and lever mechanism mounted on top and seemed to lack a trigger.

"This," the mare said with obvious pride and enthusiasm "Is the Stone Wall Securities Mark 1 Repeating Crossbow! We imported several examples of the original design from factors in the far east then went about giving it a major overhaul and upgrade. The original was built from cheap bamboo and was more a tool of home defense than a tool of combat.”

She removed the box to give Subtle Service a better look at the design of the main part of the cross.

“We replaced the stock and lever with solid Equestrian oak and replaced the utilitarian bow with a recurve style yew wood bow for greater power. We've also reinforced with the contact points of the moving parts with metal to prevent wear. We've even improved the ammunition by adding small metal fins in place of the previously non-existent fletching.”

She replaced the box and aimed the crossbow at a fresh target.

“Rather than a trigger you will notice the lever on top, see here is a handle that projects to the side of the lever. You just grasp the handle with your mouth and bob your head back and forth, the movement not only drops the next shot into place but fires the weapon as well. The box magazine holds ten bolts and in the time it takes for one pony to fire and reload a traditional crossbow once, I can fire all ten rounds and reload the magazine."

She then proceeded to demonstrate by rapidly firing the weapon at the wooden target. All but one of the shots were grouped in the center mass with most penetrating close to half way into the wood.

Pride filled Stone's voice, "As you can see we have taken an already innovative weapon and made substantial improvements. We also implemented a smaller, wrist mounted version that allows the users to move and shoot at the same time." He picked up a much smaller crossbow fitted with straps. "It lacks somewhat in range, stopping power and magazine size but makes up for it by being more maneuverable, subtle and perfectly serviceable for indoor ranges."

Subtle Service inspected the target with a discerning eye "Impressive. The accuracy appears satisfactory but the bolts don’t seem to go in that deep."

Trigger Happy piped up immediately. "That’s what the poison is for!"

That got Subtle Service's attention "Poison?"

Stone cleared his throat "The munitions of the original weapon were coated with various poisons and other foul substances to make up for the weapons' other weaknesses. Our alchemists have devised a cost effective sleep potion that can incapacitate without killing for our own use and the same basic concept applies here; just a few scratches and the target goes down or is weakened. It has shown no harmful side effects and, ethically it's less frowned upon and pragmatically, it makes more sense as it’s much harder to question a corpse. That being said, these are still deadly weapons that must be handled with the utmost responsibility.”

“Very true." Something under a tarp caught Subtle Service attention. “What’s that?”

“That?” Trigger clarified, a grin appearing on her face. “That is my pride and joy. Wanna see it?”

“Miss Happy, now might not be the time.” Stone Wall said in a warning tone.

“It’s alright.” Subtle Service interjected. “She’s got me genuinely curious. If you don’t mind.”

Stone Wall pursed his lips but ultimately nodded his consent. Trigger Happy threw off the tarp to reveal what looked a lot like like a huge crossbow the size of a large pony. "What we have here is a heavily modified ballista. We started with a standard griffin design then we started to pare it down. It’s a bit smaller, but it is also less than half the weight of the original. Lost a bit of power but then we’re not using this thing to shoot down dragons. It only takes a trio of pegasi to lift this sucker up onto some mansion or warehouse roof with a good field of fire and a pair of ponies could load it into a cart no problem. Heck, so long as the wagon had its brakes on, you could fire this thing from the wagon without unloading it!" Trigger Happy was almost hyperventilating at this point.

"And Her Majesty's government considers it legal for your company to use such ... artillery?" Subtle said with slight disbelief.

"Oh, well that’s the other modification. You see, this thing is non-lethal." The cheer artillerist exclaimed.

"Non-lethal? How?"

"Has to do with the munitions we shoot. See that pouch at the center of the bowstring? Well that allows us to load this beauty with all sorts of non-lethal projectiles. Most of the time we load her up a tri-point bola net strong enough to hold buffalo, here watch," She said as she loaded a bundle of rope and stone balls into the weapon, sighted at a roughly minotaur shaped dummy at the far end of the range and fired. The net twirled and expanded in flight before wrapping the dummy like a spider's lunch.

"'In the case of large mobs we can load a pot full of the same sleep potion we use on the arrows. Great for crowd control! Lemmy show ya, course this pot is just filled with chalk dust to simulate the splash pattern." As she had been talking she had also been winching back the ballista string and loading what looked like a sealed flower pot. she sited at a group of loose crates in the middle of the warehouse before letting it fly. It exploded in cloud of bright green dust before clearing to show a good twenty crates caught in the blast, along with one very angry, and dusty, looking quartermaster.

"Oops. SORRY ARMORY!"

"Very impressive. But it only shoots non-lethal ammunition?" Subtle clarified with Stone Wall.

Stone looked at him for a long moment before turning to a much more serious Trigger Happy and nodding, she then pulled a long barbed spear out from the tarp and loaded it into the ballista.
All she said was, "Accurate up to 500 yards," before pulling the trigger. The minotaur dummy exploded into sawdust and kindling.

Stone smiled at Subtle. "All part of the deluxe package of course."


Afterwards, Stone Wall lead Subtle Service back out into the training yard, towards a group of his security ponies standing a short distance from a group of pony sized dummies. A sergeant tweeted on a whistle and each pony brought up his wrist mounted repeating crossbow and proceeded to pincushion the dummies. A second later the sergeant tweeted again and the squad rushed in to tackle the dummies.

Stone looked on with satisfaction. "That there, Mr. Service was a perfectly executed example of our standard suppression doctrine. As you have seen Stone Wall Security is quite possibly the most advanced security outfit in all of Equestria. While the royal guard waste years on outdated methods and tools, our system means that a pony will go from new recruit to fighting fit within five months. So not only can we meet the demand faster, I would argue that we meet it better. We aren’t bogged down centuries old traditions so we can embrace new technology and meet modern needs much quicker.”

“You seem incredibly critical of the guards considering you were once one of them.” Subtle commented.

The pegasus shrugged. “I will admit that being with the guard did teach me a lot of skills that helped me turn Stone Wall Securities into the success it is. Ultimately, I left because I realised that their antiquated beliefs had no place in the modern world.”

“They are still the force tasked with keeping Equestria safe.” The earth pony remarked.

“That’s only because a better alternative hasn’t presented itself yet.” Stone replied. “But enough of that, let’s show how our wing unit does an air take down.”


“And that is my operation in a nutshell.” Stone Wall said as the two rode the coach back to the head office.

“You certainly are a force to be reckoned with.” Subtle Service commented.

“I can only take that as a compliment.” The pegasus replied.

“Though I have to wonder, where are you planning on taking your operation? Forgive my frankness but what you’ve shown me today is not the signs of a company satisfied with it’s current market share.”

“What company is ever satisfied with it’s current market share?” Stone Wall asked mockingly.

“Fair point.”

“Obviously I want to grow this company and expand beyond Manehatten.” Stone Wall continued. “Ultimately my goal is for Stone Wall Securities to be lending a hoof in keeping all of Equestria safe.”

“So you eventually want to be working along side the guard to create that better alternative you talked about?” Subtle Service asked.

“Something like that.”


“So will you be staying in Manehatten much longer?” Stone Wall asked as the two stallions entered the lobby of the head office.

“I still have a few more errands to run.” Subtle Service replied. “I should be done by the end of the week.”

“Excellent. Ms Pusher!” Stone Wall called out to the receptionist. “Get Mr Service a ticket to the Royal HMS Amore Variety Show and the private pre-show function.”

“Of course, Sir.” Ms Pusher replied.

“That’s very kind.” Subtle Service said with a humble bow of the head.

“My pleasure entirely.” Stone Wall replied. “You have proven yourself a bold stallion, and I believe fortune should always favour the bold.”

After brief farewell, Stone Wall left to take care of some other business matters. Subtle Service waited until he was before approaching the receptionist.

“So who do I make the ticket out to?” Ms Pusher asked.

“Subtle Service is fine.” The stallion replied. “Listen, I forgot to ask Stone Wall. Has he got any open slots in the next few days? I want to book an appointment for one of my clients.”

“I’ll check.” Ms Pusher opened the planner. While she scanned through it, Subtle saw what he needed to:

Covered Bridge 3 pm to 4:30 pm

“Sorry Sir, Mr Wall is full this entire week.”

“That’s alright. Now that I think about my client’s schedule might be quite full for the next few days as well.”


“Well, the tour was about what I expected.” Filthy said that evening as he was finally able to get out of costume. “They tried to wow me without giving too much away. But I was able to play a little hot or cold with them.”

“Hot or cold?” Heavy asked as he looked up from the rigging that Cheerilee had asked him to work on.

“Like the children’s game.” The business stallion explained. “Basically I would occasionally try to head in a different direction and the faster they steer me away, the closer I know I am to something juicy.” He glanced over the blueprints Notary had acquired from Town Hall. He pointed to a section of the office spaces. “There may be something worthwhile but my money’s on his office, he seems too much like the type of pony who likes to keep things close.”

Notary looked at where Filthy was pointing. “Stone Wall wouldn’t store anything highly illicit in the office space but that may be where he’d keep the sensitive files. I need to get in there.”

“That may be a problem.” Cheerilee answered. “I can get into the office to but there isn’t enough time for me to get anyone else in with me. The best I can do is open the door for you from the inside.”

Notary shrugged. “Alright, front door it is.”

“Easier said than done.” Filthy countered. “I saw the receptionist in action. She won’t let anyone past without a pass, an appointment in her book or if you’re escorted by someone with a pass.”

“There’s not enough time to fake or steal a pass.” Notary surmised. “We’ll need to distract her to give me an opening.”

“Alright,” Big Mac said. “How?”

Notary paused as she gave the farmer an appraising look. “I think I have an idea.”

Let's go inspect a building

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For all of Stone Wall’s delusions of grandeur, the Stone Wall Building itself was not particularly impressive by Manehatten standards. In fact, to its right was a fancy hotel at near equal height and to the left was an office complex that beat it by at least 10 stories, with small alley ways separating the buildings.

Across the street were various boutiques as well as a cafe. Heavy and Filthy sat at one of the outside tables, looking at the building. Filthy had traded his trademark tie and collar for a more practical but still rather stylish scarf. Heavy meanwhile, was wearing a jacket and a beanie, both to keep warm and not be as recognisable.

The stallions gave a brief thanks to the waitress who dropped two steaming mugs of hot cider at their table then focused their attention back towards the building. They had witnessed Stone Wall leaving the building but wanted to make sure he was gone before making their move.

“Well it’s 3 o’clock.” Filthy said as he checked the time on his pocket watch. “Stone Wall should be in a meeting right about now and Cheerilee should be making her move.”


“And is the key to your room Madam Julep.” The concierge said as he handed over the key. “Enjoy your stay here at the Shining Star Hotel.”

The purple mare, in an elaborate bustled dress and sun hat, took the key with a grateful smile.

“Why thank you, but please call me Mint. Most every everybody does.”


“I still can’t believe we’re doing this in broad daylight.” Heavy commented. “Wouldn’t the smart thing be to wait for nightfall?”

“I asked Cheerilee about that.” The business stallion replied. “She said something about the building being locked down and there not being enough time to plan a successful night heist.”


Mint Julep had reached the floor she was staying on. When she made it halfway down the hall she turned to the bellhop that had been carrying her suitcase.

“Would you be a dear and drop my luggage off in my room?” She said. “I had an awfully long trip and I feel a brief constitutional plus refreshments would do me wonders.”

“Certainly, ma’am.” The bellhop replied. “The hummingbird lounge is just two floors down if you’re interested.”

“Much obliged.”

She tossed the bellhop a bit and took her leave. But once she was out of sight, rather than taking the stairs down to the lounge, she took a service staircase to the roof.


“Now getting her a room in the hotel was easy enough. Though I’m still not sure how she will get her equipment to the roof without drawing attention.”

“First rule of smuggling.” Heavy replied. “Be creative.”


Safely on the roof and sure that she was alone, Cheerilee took off the hat and started to remove the dress.

“I do declare.” She said. “Now comes fun part.”

She took the dress completely off, revealing a black catsuit and harness underneath, complete with a fake blue tail.

Fully opened, the bustle of the dress revealed several lengths of rope, rigging, and other tools Cheerilee predicted she would need.

Once she was loaded up, she put on her black mask and got ready to get to work.

She made her way over to the ledge of building where the alleyway separated the hotel and the Stone Wall Building. She prepared a rope and grappling hook. She swung it around a couple of times and then let the grappling hook fly. When it landed on the other side, Cheerilee pulled back until it hooked tight on the opposite ledge. Once she was sure it was secured, she fastened the other end and made sure the line was taut.

She carefully began to shimmy across. Once safely on the Stone Wall building, she got to work securing the rig for the next part while she waited for the signal.


“So assuming Cheerilee makes it to the other side, what will we do if Notary can’t get past the main door?”

“Don’t worry. Big Mac has never been one to let ponies down and Cheerilee wouldn’t have asked Notary for help unless she could handle it.” Filthy said. “Those two will be fine.”


“Consarnit Notary!”

“I need an opening.” Notary said to Big Mac. “And I didn’t hear you give any ideas.”

Big Mac glared. “Couldn’t we at least have gotten a larger uniform? I can barely breathe in this thing.”

Notary rolled her eyes. “Just go in. I’ll wait two minutes then I’ll make my entrance.”


The receptionist sighed as she rechecked the schedule. It had the makings of another boring day.

"Um...excuse me."

The receptionist looked up from her desk and her jaw dropped. Standing in front of her was a postal worker that just so happened to be the most prime example of stallionhood she'd seen in real life. His uniform strained to contain his muscular form, his eyes a heart melting shade of green and he had such a warm and inviting smile.

"I've got a package for you." He stated.

"Oh I bet you do." She replied in a husky tone.

The stallion tilted his head slightly, "Excuse me?"

"I...I...mean of course you'd be here to deliver a package." She said, starting to feel sheepish.

The postal worker dropped the large mail bag she only now realised he had been carrying. He took out a parcel from the top and was about to hoof over when he took a second glance.

"That's not the right one." He commented, took a second parcel out. "Nope." and a third, "Nope." He let out a frustrated groan. "Give me moment."

He turned his back to the secretary and stuck his head in the mail back as he tried to find the right parcel, seemingly unaware that he was now giving the secretary a full view of his backside.

"Please. Take all the time you need." The entranced receptionist sighed.

At that moment a white mare in a suit with her mane in tight bun stepped into the lobby, carrying a brief case. She paused briefly at the reception desk.

“Miss Persnickety, here for the inspection.”

“Yes, yes fine.” The receptionist said, waving the mare off without taking her eye off the mail carrier’s backside.

The mare made it to the stairs where a couple of guards were standing, observing the comings and goings.

“Hold up.” A guard held up a hoof, blocking Miss Persnickety from progressing. “What inspection?

“Relax,.” Miss Persnickety replied coolly. “I’m not here for security personnel, I'm here for the SNJ.”

The Guard tilted his head slightly in confusion. “SNJ?”

“Yes the SNJ. I'm from the NPP. I got word from my VP that there was not only a breach of the FTR in this building but also the YTR, the WRP and the ASB. So now I've got the VTO, NPI and the TRW wanting answers. I need to run a TSB, a CDC, a TPW and a STP, and I've got to get this all done ASAP or else a major inquiry may be requested. Have I made myself clear?”

“Uh...yeah.” he stepped aside and let the mare past.

“Thank you.” she replied with a nod.

“Did you understand a word of what she just said?” a second guard asked the first.

“It’s above our pay grade.” the first guard replied. “Besides, front desk cleared her.”

Only once she was well past the guard and on her way up the stairs did a satisfied smirk appear on her face.

“Gullible SOB.” She muttered.


“It’s been two minutes.” Filthy said, checking his silver pocket watch. “Must mean Notary’s in.”

“Or that she and Big Mac have been caught out and they’re being detained for questioning.” Heavy commented.

Filthy raised an eyebrow as he closed the watch and pushed it towards the cartwright, “You never struck me as such a pessimist.”

“Not taking into account the possibility of things going wrong was how I ended up getting caught and facing jail time.”

“Though wasn’t that also how you ended up meeting your wife?”

Despite the situation, a faint smile appeared on Heavy’s face as he picked up the pocket watch.

“That is true.”

He picked up the closed watch and jiggled it, letting the sunlight bounce off the reflective surface.


The flash of light from the sun hitting the watch was the cue Cheerilee had been waiting for.

“Showtime.”

She then leapt off the Stone Wall Securities building roof on the alley side of the building. The rope that was tied to the harness she was wearing went taut but rather than stopping her descent, the rigging she had set up merely slowed it down.

She descended down the building until she finally came to a stop outside the designated window. Not being able to risk cutting the glass, she pulled out couple of specialist tools to jimmy the lock.

Once the lock was cracked she opened the window and then grabbed onto the window ledge with one hoof. After using the other hoof to unhook the rope she finished with a forward roll onto her back hooves.

Once secure in the office, she removed the mask and allowed herself to exhale.

“Mare alive am I out of practise,” she exclaimed. “I used to be able to pull that off in half the time.”

Any further thoughts was interrupted by three firm knocks on the door. Recognising it as the signal, Cheerilee opened it to reveal Notary standing there.

“I know that it’s somewhat late to bring this up but you do realise I could have simply picked the lock.” The form secretary commented as she entered the room.

“It would have left you exposed in the hallway.” Cheerilee replied as she closed the door. “And excuse me for not liking the idea of letting you handle this part of the mission with no back up."

“Fair enough.”

The two mares took a moment to survey the office. It became clear that what Stone Wall lacked in basic decency he did not make up for in taste.

The office itself was a decent size and had a large front window looking out at the street which, along with the small side window, allowed for ventilation. A classic looking Mahogany desk the size of a hay wagon was in the center of the room with a bust of Stone Wall’s head one on side of it. Various pictures of Stone Wall’s ‘exploits’ and a display case of antique looking war medals adorned the walls, as well as some undoubtedly expensive postmodern paintings that clashed with everything else in the room.

“Wow, this place is even gaudier than Filthy described it.”

“Eh,” Notary shrugged. “I’ve raided worse looking offices.”

They began to search the office. Cheerilee busied herself with the bookshelf but Notary started her search with the desk. After giving the paper on the desk a once over, she studied the desk itself. She opened a panel to reveal a hidden safe.

“Desk safe, really?” Notary said in dismay. “So he’s not only a jerk, he’s also unimaginative. Are we meant to hate this guy or feel sorry for him?”

“Let’s just focus on getting some leverage on him.”

Notary placed her ear against the safe and turned the dial as she listened the for the right clicks of the tumblers. Finally satisfied, she turned the lever and flung open the safe door. From the safe she was able to retrieve several files and a black notebook. She opened the notebook to reveal a some names and locations as well as a series of numbers and letters.

“Any idea what that code means?” The school teacher asked.

“Not sure.” Notary replied. “But it seems familiar.”

“Memorise what you can. We can’t take any of this with us.”

“Oh give me little credit.” Notary opened her briefcase to reveal a large stack of blank paper, a bottle of ink and and a brush. “This isn’t exactly new territory for me.”

She placed the first sheet of paper from the file on the desk. She then placed a blank page on top. Finally, using the brush, she applied a thin layer of ink. The ink then moved on its own volition until the page looked exactly like the one underneath.

“That’s incredible.” Cheerilee stated.

“That’s mimic ink.” Notary stated proudly. “The best friend a mare like me can have.”

Cheerilee looked at her.

“Well... second best.” Notary hastily amended

She then got to work copying the rest of the documents. Meanwhile, Cheerilee did a final sweep of the room before finding a vantage point looking out the big window.

“So far so good,” Cheerilee muttered to herself.


“It’s in here I swear.” The mail stallion said as he continued to search the bag. By this point several packages were scattered on the floor around him.

“Of course.” The enraptured receptionist said, trying hard to not to let out a content sigh.

“What’s going on here?”

The both receptionist and the mail pony jumped slightly when they realised that Load Bearing had entered the lobby.

“I asked you a question.” He stated somewhat irritably.

“Just delivering a package.” The postal worker replied.

“And where is it?”

“In here.” The mail pony replied. “It must have shifted in transit.”

Load Bearing gave the mail stallion a suspicious once over.

“Well I suggest you go and finish the rest of your deliveries and come back when you find the package again.” He said. “Instead of standing here making a nuisance of yourself.”

“Understood.” The mail pony said. He then got to work collecting the parcels that had been scattered from his hunt.

The receptionist glared at Load Bearing.

“Kill joy.”

“Just be glad I’m the one who found you and not Stone Wall.” The unicorn replied, not looking the least bit amused “His meeting got cut short and he’s on his way back so try to look like you’re actually doing something.”

The mail stallion’s eye’s widened and he made quick work of gathering the remaining packages. He then loaded up the mail bag and took his leave.

“Hold up.”

He turned and saw the unicorn approach him again. The stallions stared at each other until Load Bearing levitated an application form to him.

“In case you’re wanting a career change.” He stated. “We’re always looking for new talent and you certainly have the build for private security.”

“Uh...Thanks.”

The mail stallion pocketed the form and took his leave.


As Big Mac stepped out of the building, he made a cutting motion with his hoof across his throat.

The gesture did not go unnoticed by the two stallions in the cafe. Filthy took out a white handkerchief and used it to wipe his brow.


"White hankie." Cheerilee stated. "Filthy is telling us to get out."

"Why? Is Stone Wall back?"

"It's a hankie, not Horse code." The teacher said flatly. "We've got to get out of here."

"Not yet." Notary said. "I'm almost done."

"Getting caught is not going to help anypony."

"Neither will running with only part of the intel! This is the only chance we'll have at this."

Cheerilee grit her teeth but knew that Notary had a point. "Finish quickly."

"Gee, and here I thought I'd take the time to redo Stone Wall's filing system while I'm here." Notary paused as she realised something. "Of course!"

"Stay on track."

Notary continued to made quick work of the remaining documents. Cheerilee meanwhile stood watch at the door.

“Done!” Notary stated as she packed everything back into the safe.

“Good to hear. Now I’m going to create an opening for you. We’ll meet back up at Filthy’s loft.”

“Wait…what?”

“The window for a clean exit has closed.” Cheerilee said as she put her mask back on. “Now it’s time for a messy one.”

She stepped out off the office and closed the door behind her. She inspected the various stands and then noticed a jewel encrusted broadsword in a glass case.

“That looks expensive.”

She smashed the glass with her hoof. She then took the sword by hilt with her mouth and waited for moment.

As expected, the sound of broken glass had alerted the patrolling guards. A three stallion patrol came to investigate and saw Cheerilee standing there holding the sword.

“What the…?”

At that, Cheerilee turned tail and ran. One of the guards had opened fire with his wrist mounted crossbow but his delayed response meant that the bolts ended up hitting the wall near where Cheerilee had been standing rather than the mare.

Two of the guards gave chase while third ran off to raise the alarm.

Cheerilee made it to the staircase and started her climb up. Meanwhile, Load Bearing arrived on the floor just as the guards reached the staircase.

“What’s going on?” He called out.

“THIEF ON THE PREMISES!” A guard shouted back.

Load Bearing’s eyes narrowed.


Cheerilee made it up two flights of stairs. Seeing a second group of guards coming down the stairwell, she took a quick turn and went out into the hallway.

As the pursuing guards made it to the hallway, one guard readied his crossbow and lined up his shot. He was about to fire when the crossbow was engulfed in magic and pulled out of his grasp.

“We’re on civilian floors.” Load Bearing stated, holding the crossbow. “NO PROJECTILE WEAPONS!!”

The disarmed guard glared but knew better than to argue. They all then continued their pursuit.

Cheerilee made a few sharp turns and tried to keep to narrow hallways in order to make following her more difficult. As she approached the second stairwell, a mare pushing a mail cart crossed her path.

Rather than slow down, the teacher jumped over the mail cart. She paid no heed to the loud crash and shriek behind her as she continued her ascent.

Finally she made it to the roof within 15 second window before the guards got there. She raced to the edge, dropping the sword as she disconnected the rigging that she had used for her descent, letting it and the rope drop down into the alley below.

She then loosened the rope she had shimmied across from the grappling hook.

At that moment the guards arrived at the roof, led by Load Bearing.

“DON’T MOVE!” The unicorn ordered, lighting up his horn in warning.

Rather than listen, Cheerilee picked up the sword and flung it straight at Load Bearing. On instinct, he caught the sword with his magic, breaking his intended spell, and giving her the opening she needed to jump.

The guards reached the edge in time to see Cheerilee swing across on the rope, right into an open window of one of the hotel rooms.

Load Bearing growled then turn to the rest of the guards. “You,” he said to three of the guards. “Get over there and secure the lobby. The rest, get all available personnel. We need to lock down the building and make sure nothing else was stolen. AND WHERE IS THAT DAMN PEGASUS SUPPORT?!!”

Secure in the room and safely out of sight, Cheerilee was dusting herself off and thanking her lucky stars that there had been an open window.

She then paused when she saw the cleaning mare standing there.

“No need for alarm ma’am, I’m with pest control.” Cheerilee said, breaking the awkward silence. “There were reports about some incredibly aggressive pigeons causing trouble on the upper floors and I’ve just finished handling the situation.”

“Why are you wearing a mask?” The cleaner asked.

“For the sake of the guests.” Cheerilee explained. “I took a rabid gopher to the face first week on the job and the boss thinks the scars are off-putting.”

The cleaner, not having anything to say to that, decided to get back to work.

Cheerilee stepped into the hallway and stripped out of her outfit. As she made her exit she dropped her outfit and the remaining equipment down a nearby laundry chute.


Now, ponies that lounge in the lobby of the Shining Star Hotel are usually treated to wonderful decor, either the spectacular chandelier or the often colourful guests that come and go.

Today, however, the loungers were treated to the site of the hotel manager having a standoff with three Stone Wall Securities employees, barring their entrance into the rest of the hotel.

“I’m telling you that a blue tailed thief is hiding in your hotel!” The lead guard said.

“And I’m telling you that unless you’re the guard I will not have you disturbing the guests.” The manager shot back.

The two arguing stallions paid no heed to the magenta mare making her exit.

As she stepped out of the hotel she looked to her right and saw a white mare carrying a briefcase step out of the Stone Wall Securities building.

Cheerilee gave Notary a brief smile and nod that the white mare returned before the two took their separate routes back to home base.

Heavy let out a sigh of relief from his vantage point.

"What did I tell you," Filthy said in his usual confidence. "Nothing to worry about."

He then picked up his mug and took a sip.

“Bargh!” He exclaimed. “It’s cold.”


“I give you the fruits of our mission.” Notary said as she presented the files and stacks of paper on the table.

Cheerilee looked over the stacks.

“This is a lot more than what Stone Wall was carrying in his office.”

Notary rubbed the back of her neck. “Well you see. I may have made one last stop on the way out.”


Notary was walking at a brisk pace. Not fast enough to draw attention but in no way what you would consider dawdling.

She stopped when she realised the door she had walked past. She turned and confirmed her previous glance.

File Room

She made sure she was alone and then stepped inside, only to come face to face with one of the clerks.

“What are you doing here?” The clerk asked.

“One of the guards has been filing CW5s instead of CW4s.” Notary explained. ”so now my supervisor wants it fixed before next audit.”
“Dumb muscle heads making it difficult for the rest of us.” clerk grumbled before leaving the file room.”


“I realised those codes in the ledger were referring to a filing system. He must have kept notes so he could remember which were the relevant files.” Notary said. “I didn’t have time to make copies of those files so hopefully no one will notice they’re missing until we’re finished with our little pet project.”

“Well, this had better be a bumper crop.” Big Mac commented as he poured cider into a mug. “Cause I doubt we’ll get another shot at that building.”

“Well, I still need to go over all of it but I believe in positivity.” The white mare answered.

“Since when?” Cheerilee asked.

“Since this plan of ours hasn’t yet gone down in flames.” Notary replied.

Heavy Roller started to skim through the personnel files. He paused when he noticed a familiar face.

“I remember him.” He stated as he held up a picture of Load Bearing. “He came with Stone Wall when he visited me in Ponyville.”

“Oh yes, Mr Load Bearing. He seems to be Stone Wall’s go-to stallion.” Filthy said. “You know he actually told me he got that scar fighting a moose.”

Big Mac glanced at the photo. “He’s lying.”

“Of course, that sounded far too…”

“Moose horns aren’t sharp enough to make clean scarring like that.” Big Mac continued. “Most likely he got that taking on a griffin.” He then noticed a Filthy gaping at him. “It’s a very distinctive scar.”

Notary scoffed as she snatched the photo. “Oh you are so…” she stopped when she saw the stallion in the picture.

“What?” Cheerilee noticed the change in Notary’s demeanor. “Do you know him?”

“Yes.” Notary admitted. “Though when we worked together, he just went by ‘Bear’.”

“You worked together?” Filthy asked in dismay.

“You could have warned us that we might meet some of your old work colleagues.” The red stallion made no effort to hide the irritation in his voice.

“Hey, I didn’t know he would be here.” Notary replied, not raising her voice but clearly being irritated. “And when you’ve put more on the line for this mission than just shaking your flank at a receptionist then you’ll have a right to criticise.”

Cheerilee stepped in between the two.

“Enough! Notary, is this going to be a problem?”

“No.” The white mare replied.

“Then we move on and focus on the task in front of us.” Cheerilee chose to ignore the skeptical look she was getting from Big Mac. “Somewhere in these files is something that we can use against Stone Wall, we just need to find it.”


“So the thief didn’t get away with anything?” Stone Wall asked as he paced in his office after being filled in on the events that had transpired.

“We would need to do a full inventory check but all the high profile items are accounted for.” Load Bearing responded. “Still, even if this break in was thwarted it did highlight some flaws in the security that should be addressed.”

“Yes, once the show is over I want a full investigation done. In the meantime I need you to ensure that the security at the theatre is flawless.”

“Um sir, wouldn’t it make more sense start a full investigation right now?” The unicorn asked. “The show…”

“Is a high profile event that is being attended by high profile socialites, nobles and dignitaries.” Stone Wall interjected. “Everything is riding on that evenings success. Do I make myself clear?”

“Perfectly, sir.”

Satisfied with the response, the pegasus turned to the window. “Good. Skewed priorities can ruin a pony. Remember that.”

“Understood.”

The unicorn left, closing the door behind him. Certain he was alone, Stone Wall opened his safe to make sure that the contents were untouched.

The near loss of one of his possessions was irksome but at least he was sure the thief hadn’t stolen anything that could be used against him.


“What do you mean you haven’t found anything?!”

Notary looked at Filthy irritably. “I said I haven’t found anything yet. If there’s something in here we can use, I’ll find it.”

“What about the boatload of intel he has on the Royal Guard, his competitors and on his own staff?” Heavy asked. “You can’t tell me that this amount is legal.”

“Having intel only makes it blackmail worthy if it proves intent for something more sinister.” Notary countered. “Even if this drew the attention of the authorities he would explain it away as trying to gain insight into his main competitors. At worst he’d be fined for overstepping the bounds of ethical information gathering.What we need is a lit match we can burn him with.”

Big Mac picked up one of the ledgers Notary had swiped from the filing room. He gave it look through.

“What’s this?”

“It’s the ledger detailing the transactions between Stone Wall Securities and Stronghold Construction & Architecture.”

Big Mac lowered the ledger. “Did you say Stronghold Construction & Architecture?”

“Exactly.” Notary laid out the paperwork supporting her point. “Looks like they had purchased most of the resources from Stone Walls old construction company when he decided on a career change. He also seemed to hire them for later construction jobs. The numbers look legit but I would have to check them against Stone Wall’s stated earnings.”

Big Mac let out a groan. “Crab apples.”

“What?” Heavy asked.

“Stronghold Construction & Architecture is, or at least was, a front for the Cannoli Crime Family.” Big Mac answered. “They used to be one of the biggest crime families in Manehatten. But then one of their lieutenants got caught in a botched foalnapping attempt. Rather than face the full wrath of the Princess, who really does not like ponies that mess with foals, he turned in state's evidence on his employer.”

“I read about this.” Filthy Rich chimed in. “The head of the family, Spumoni Cannoli, was charged along with a lot of high ranking members of the family and most of his operation was dismantled.”

“Most but not all.” The red stallion commented. “Somehow Spumoni managed to keep his two sons out of the fallout. They’re trying to keep whatever’s left of the family afloat.”

“Hold on.” Notary rummaged through her bag until she found a particular file. “Here we are. Sweets and Gelato Cannoli. Sweets has a few fraud charges but no convictions. Gelato, however, has a warrant for his arrest on assault charges as well as an open bounty on him. They’re run of the mill scumbags, neither one of them really have what it takes to effectively run a crime family.”

Big Mac looked at the file with a raised eyebrow. “You brought files on the local crime families just in case?”

Notary shrugged. “I like to be informed on possible threats. Though how do you know so much about a Manehatten crime family?”

The farm pony gave a shrug of his own.

“Our paths have crossed a few times.”


A young unicorn filly was running for dear life. She came to an abrupt stop when a grey stallion stomped down on her tail, preventing her from running any further.

"Listen you little bruja, give me one good reason why I shouldn't snap that horn off."

"Ahem."

The stallion looked up from the filly and came face to face with an extremely angry Big Macintosh.

"I got one."

Any reply the grey stallion was going to give was stopped by a hoof straight to his face.


“Wait.” Cheerilee interjected. “You mean they…?”

“Eeyup.”

A low growl escaped the teacher.

“Go on.” She finally said through grit teeth.


“I don’t think this is a good idea,” A thug said.

“Quit your complaining.” The leader replied. “It’s not safe for us to store this stuff in Manehatten no more. We just need to lay low here for a few more days until the boss finds a new base of operations.”

A third thug flew in. “We may have a problem. Turns out those farmers you threatened to keep quiet has some of their extended family coming in to visit.”

The leader scoffed. “I think we can handle a few inbred hicks.”

“That’s good.”

The thugs turned to see Big Mac, Applejack and a dozen other members of the Apple Family standing there.

“Wouldn’t want this to be too easy.” Applejack commented.

“Eeyup.”


“I figured it was a good idea to get to know them better.”

“I don’t get it.” Cheerilee said. “If the Cannoli family is on the ropes, why doesn’t one of the other crime families simply finish them of?”

“Pragmatism.” Heavy answered. “Mob wars are messy, cost resources and draw unwanted attention from the authorities, even when it’s against a weakened family. Right now the Cannoli Family is like a wounded puppy. The other families are probably waiting to see if they have any teeth left to make them worth taking down while they’re weak. Otherwise they'll just leave the family to die a slow death.”

The cartwright noticed the other ponies staring at him.

“What? I may not have been part of a crime family during my smuggling days but they were still some of my best customers.”

“Alright. So right now the only potential leverage we have on Stone Wall is some past or present connection to the Cannoli Family.” Cheerilee surmised. “That could work. Being tied to organised crime is a death sentence to any Security Company. The question is how do we find out what that connection is?”

“We could ask them.” Heavy noticed the other ponies staring at him again. “What?”

Let's go question a mobster

View Online


Al Dente’s Family Restaurant was designed to look like a welcoming family-owned restaurant.
The decor made use of bare wood and simple warm colours with various bits and pieces from “the old country” adorning the walls.Aroma’s of good, hearty food wafted from the open kitchen behind the bar. The red and white checkered tablecloths covered the tables and various candles helped set the mood as well as aid in providing more light to the restaurant. The dozen or so mobsters that were dining there, however, made one realize it was a different sort of family owned restaurant.

At the tables, ponies of varying degrees of unsavouryness sat and ate. Some picked at their food while others took hearty mouthfuls. Others had already made use of the bar present and had become even more boisterous than normal.

None paid too much heed to the stallions at one of the back tables.

“Hey Al,” Sweets Cannoli, a lanky yet very well dressed earth pony, called out, “Let’s get some more marinara, pronto.”

“Sure thing boss.” A voice called back from the kitchen.

“You were saying, Stromboli.” Sweets said to his remaining lieutenant, a well built pegasus.

“The Clarinet family have always been on good terms with your father.” The lieutenant said. “If we proposed an alliance they may be open to it.”

“No, the Clarinet family did nothing when Pops was taken down. We ain’t crawling to them for help.” Sweets growled. “We complete this job and then we rebuild the family ourselves.”

ching-a-ling

The conversation was interrupted by the sound of the door chime.

The crime boss and his lieutenant looked up to see two stallions standing at the entrance. One was orange and the other was red. Both were wearing matching grey suits and ties.

The strangers continued to walk further into the restaurant. Conversations petered off and tension began to rise as several mobsters started to notice the newcomers. Eventually even the rowdiest patrons took notice of the change in the room.

The two strangers continued to walk in as if they owned the place.

“What a beautiful establishment, Mr. Walrus.” The orange stallion finally said. “Did you notice the craftsmanship on the door? Masterful work.”

“Eeee...Indeed, Mr. Carpenter.” Mr. Walrus replied before taking a whiff. “And do you smell that? That is smell of food being lovingly prepared.”

“Indeed, Mr. Walrus.”

Stromboli approached the two newcomers, stopping them as they were about halfway to the back tables.

“Hey Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. This is a private function.” The mobster stated. “You two need to clear out.”

“Do you think he is referring to us, Mr. Walrus?”

“Well he is looking straight at us, Mr. Carpenter.”

“But those are not our names, Mr. Walrus.”

“Well, we haven’t yet introduced ourselves, Mr. Carpenter.”

“Quite right Mr. Walrus.” The orange stallion focused his attention to Stromboli. “I am Mr. Carpenter. My associate is Mr Walrus. We’re here because we have a pressing matter to discuss with Mr. Cannoli.”

“I told you to clear out.” Stromboli tried to shove Mr. Walrus back, only for the larger stallion to grab his hoof and twist it in a direction it wasn’t supposed to go.

“Let’s not treat this like some playground.” Mr. Walrus said to Stromboli. “This all looks to be a wonderful repast and I would hate for it to be ruined by some unnecessary rudeness.”

Mr. Walrus let go of Stromboli's hoof and the mobster limped backwards to put some space between them. Meanwhile all of the other mobsters present had stood up at this display.

“Since we have your attention, Mr. Cannoli, we’ll cut to the chase. We have been hired look into a Stone Wall Securities, a company that has been encroaching on our employer’s operation in Bitsberg. Imagine our surprise when we discovered that Stone Wall was in bed with the Cannoli Family. Now a security company is one thing, but a Manehatten crime family expanding their territory is something entirely different.”

Sweets’ eyes narrowed. “You seem to be sticking your noses somewhere they don’t belong.”

“We’re just covering our bases, Mr. Cannoli.” Mr. Walrus said, keeping his voice neutral. “Just answer a few questions regarding your working relationship with Stone Wall and we’ll let you get back to your meal.” Mr. Walrus took a long sniff of a nearby plate. “Mmmm...Fettuccine alfredo.” He then took a big mouthful and then grimaced slightly. “Hmm...too heavy on the butter.”

A vein popped out of Sweets’ forehead.

“How about instead of answering your questions the boys and I break every bone in your bodies and ship you back to Bitsberg in boxes?”

“Oh dear, it seems they don't wish to tell us what we want to know, Mr. Walrus."

"It would seem so, Mr. Carpenter."

"What would you suggest we do about it, Mr. Walrus?"

"Oh I’m afraid it means we will have to be quite rude to them, Mr. Carpenter"

"I believe you’re right Mr. Walrus."

Suddenly, Mr. Walrus pushed down hard on the edge of the table he had been resting his hoof on. This caused the other end to fly up and hit three unsuspecting thugs in the jaw. He then used his other hoof to push the upturned table forward, causing it to topple onto the stunned thugs.

At that the other mobsters tried to rush them.

Two thugs tried to tackle the red pony head on. In response, the massive stallion stood up on his hind legs and caught both assailants in reverse headlocks.

Mr. Walrus paused his attack when he noticed some Gnudi on the edge of a nearby table. He shifted slightly, the two thugs he had trapped being forced to move with him. Once in position he kick the underside of the table with one of his hind legs.

The Gnudi flew into the air, right into Mr. Walrus’s waiting mouth. “Hmmm.” He said approvingly as he fell backwards, ramming the captured thugs’ faces into the floor. “You know most places make their Gnudi all mushy and heavy.” He commented as he picked himself up. “But those were excellent.”

He then kick backwards with his hind leg, his hoof connecting with a pony trying to come at him from behind.

“Try not to dawdle too much Mr. Walrus.” Mr. Carpenter instructed. “We are on a schedule.”

The orange stallion then ducked as a baseball bat wielded by Sweets narrowly missed his head.

“You. Think. You. Can. Mess. With. Me?!!” Sweets snarled, punctuating each word with a swing.

Mr. Carpenter dodged each swing with relative ease. Waiting for an opening, he sidestepped the mobster, who was put off-balance by his own forward momentum, before picking up a nearby bottle and smashing it over Sweets’ head.

“We were trying to have a civil conversation about this, Mr. Cannoli. You’re one that decided to make things difficult.” Mr. Carpenter removed the bat from the now dazed crime boss. “And quite frankly, I’ve seen postal workers that wield a bat better than you.”

He paused to examine the bat. “Hickory?! Really? Is this a family heirloom or something?”

Mr. Walrus took a break from beating up oncoming mobsters when his attention was drawn to a steaming bowl of soup. “Ah minestrone.” He picked it up, took a sniff and let out a sigh. “Too much garlic.”

He threw the bowl full of hot soup over his shoulder into the face of a mobster trying sneak up on him.

“Argh!!!!” The mobster screamed in agony.

“Oh come now,” Mr Walrus said, “I don’t like excess garlic either, but that’s a bit of an overreaction.” His glance turned to towards a Stromboli who was wielding a bottle. “Are you planning to hit me with that?”

The mobster froze at being caught out. “Er..no…” He lied. “This is to have with my meal.”

Mr. Walrus looked at the bottle and then at the food nearby.

“You were planning on having a spinach lasagna with red wine?!”

“Er...yes?”

Stromboli promptly found himself thrown out a nearby window.

“Being a mobster does not give you the right to be a philistine.” Mr. Walrus scolded.

Mr. Carpenter meanwhile seemed to be more interested in admiring the oak bar counter.

"Would you look at that finish," He commented as he ran his hoof along the surface. "I must say that this was expertly done."

One the thugs then approached him.

"Alright you..." Anything else the thug was about to say was cut short by Mr. Carpenter grabbing him by the back of the head, slamming him face first into the counter and then falling to the ground unconscious.

"And so sturdily built too."

He looked up from the counter to notice that Mr. Walrus was currently fighting hoofticuffs with one of the larger earth ponies, as another stallion climbed onto a nearby table, obviously with the intent of dive-bombing Mr. Walrus.

Mr. Carpenter picked up a nearby pizza board and threw it like a big discus. It spun through the air before hitting the mobster in the head, knocking him off the table.

“I will admit applewood may get better distance but you just don’t the same satisfying ‘thump’ as with oak."

He then sidestepped a mobster swinging a stool at him. The stool smashed on the countertop. Mr. Carpenter picked up the bat and brought it down hard on the top of the mobster’s head.

“That was for all the hard work you just ruined.” Mr Carpenter told off the unconscious mobster before returning his attention to the bat. “And I still think you’d get a better swing out of Maple.”

Mr. Walrus leaned back to avoid a haymaker and responded with a straight jab to his assailant and swift kick to knock out another mobster.

The large stallion couldn’t help but notice that attacks were becoming less frequent. But before he was able to fully relax he was surrounded by magic and lifted off the ground. He was then spun round to face the pony responsible. Turns out that Al Dente was a unicorn.

"What are ya gonna do now?" The cook asked cockily.

"Ptooie!!!"

Mr. Walrus hawked out a massive wad of spit, right into the unicorn's eye.

"Argh! Son of a…!"

The unicorn tried to wipe the spit out of his eye, not realising the break in concentration meant that he had lost his hold on Mr. Walrus. Realisation dawned on him however when the red stallion closed the distance, delivered a massive uppercut and sent him flying into a nearby wall.

Mr. Walrus took out a handkerchief to wipe the spit off the side of his mouth as he surveyed the splintered and groaning wreckage of the restaurant’s furniture and patrons.

"Terribly sorry, Mr. Carpenter. That was incredibly uncouth of me."

"Quite forgivable, Mr. Walrus. Though I fear you may need be uncouth for little while longer."

Mr. Carpenter gave the bar a meaningful tap. Understanding, Mr. Walrus reached over and pulled out Sweets who had been hiding there.

With little effort, the mobster was forcibly laid out on one of the last remaining tables. He looked up in terror as Mr. Walrus and Mr. Carpenter stood over him.

"I trust we can have a civil conversation now, Mr. Cannoli." Mr. Carpenter's voice, while still mostly neutral, had developed a slight edge.

"Look I don't know what Stone Wall is doing in Bitsberg but I swear that the Cannoli Family has nothing to do with it." Sweets was on the verge of tears. "You can give your boss my personal guarantee that we will stay out of Bitsberg!"

"Do you think that will satisfy our employer, Mr. Walrus?"

"I don't believe so, Mr. Carpenter."

"My thoughts exactly, Mr. Walrus.” He focused his attention back to Sweets. “Let me explain to you the situation. We don’t get paid if the client isn’t satisfied and unless you tell us what he wants to know, he won't be satisfied.” He lowered his voice almost to a whisper. “So right now, you’re the thing standing between us and our pay day.”

“Look, whatever your boss is offering you, I-I’ll double it.”

Mr. Carpenter let out a sigh. “Now you’re just being irritating, Mr. Cannoli.” He turned to his comrade. “Mr. Walrus, if you would.”

Mr. Walrus raised his hoof.

“ALRIGHT!!!” Sweets shrieked. “I’LL TALK!!!”

Mr. Walrus retracted his hoof.

“Stone Wall set up this arrangement with the old man.” The mobster explained. “He gave us a good deal on the stuff we needed to form Stronghold Construction as well as a few construction jobs so we looked legit. In exchange we would avoid hitting places his company protected and we’d do each other the occasional favour. That’s all it was. We don’t have anything to do with Stone Wall’s out-of-town operations.”

“What do you think, Mr. Walrus?” The orange stallion asked.

“I think he’s telling the truth, Mr. Carpenter.” The larger stallion replied. “But I don’t think he’s telling us everything.”

“I definitely agree, Mr. Walrus, and I can’t help but notice that his brother isn’t present this evening.”

Sweets was starting to sweat bullets. “Okay, so Stone Wall might have come to us with a job recently. He uh wants us to...uh...stage a kidnapping.”

“And who, pretell. Would you be kidnapping?”

“Princess...Mi Amore Cadenza.”

Mr. Carpenter blinked a couple of times before turning to his partner. “Mr. Walrus, I believe he is mocking us, please respond accordingly.”

“Understood, Mr. Carpenter.”

“IT’S THE TRUTH I SWEAR!!!” Sweets shrieked. “She’s in town this week and is invited as the guest of honour to that Love Boat whatever show Stone Wall is putting on. Gelato and his crew are going to get the drop on her when she's leaving the theatre.”

“Mr. Cannoli, I know your family is going through a rough patch, but do you honestly expect us to believe you are desperate enough to try and kidnap a princess?” Mr. Carpenter asked in disbelief.

“We’re not trying to kidnap her, we’re just supposed to make it look like we’re trying to kidnap her.” Sweets explained. “While she’s in Manehatten, the princess is using the Royal guards instead of her own for protection as sign of good will. Stone Wall’s alchemists have whipped something up that he will slip to the guards. When Gelato attacks, the stuff kicks, making the guards act all drunk and unable to protect the Princess. Stone Wall’s troops swoop in rescue the princess while Gelato and co make like they've been beaten and run off.”

“Do you have any proof to back up this story?” Mr. Carpenter asked.

“We kept the letters he sent us.” Sweets said. “Stone Wall tried to keep things verbal to avoid anything being tied back to him but when he couldn’t risk coming in person, he’d used a message system we set up. We kept the letters he sent us incase he ever decided to turn on us.”

“And where are they now?”

“...behind a panel under the cash register.”

Mr. Carpenter went to retrieve the letters while Mr. Walrus kept Sweets company.

“Mr. Cannoli. As a bit of candid advice, I would suggest that you end your working relationship with Stone Wall, immediately.”

“You mean call off the job?” Sweets asked. “I can’t.”

The low growl that escaped Mr. Walrus caused the mobster to panic.

“I mean I literally can’t.” He clarified. “A couple of days before a job, Gelato and his crew always go dark until the job is finished so I have no way of calling the job off.” As Mr. Carpenter continued to glare at the mobster, tears started streaming down Sweets’ face. “Look, once this job is finished, that’s it. We’ll never do business with Stone Wall again. I PROMISE!!!”

“You had better not Mr. Cannoli.” Mr. Carpenter turned to his associate. “I believe we’re finished here, Mr. Walrus.”

“Understood, Mr. Carpenter.”

The two stallions left the restaurant without another word. Certain he was alone, Sweets let out a sigh of relief.

That quickly turned into a groan of pain when the table he was lying on collapsed.


Cheerilee, Filthy and Notary were sitting around the table, reviewing the information yet again. The sound of the door opening and closing notified them of Big Mac and Heavy’s return.

“So how did your Q&A go?” Cheerilee asked. The looks she got in return spoke volumes. “Bad?”

“Worse.” Heavy replied.


“This is insane.” Filthy said. “There is no way he could do something this crazy.”

“The guy has delusions of grandeur and the resources to make it happen.” Notary commented. “At this point nothing he does would surprise me.”

“But to stage an attempted kidnapping of a Princess as a smear tactic? All so he can start to repeatedly humiliate the Royal Guard so he can eventually replace them and privatize all of Equestria’s military and police forces?” The business stallion scoffed. “I can’t even begin to describe how ludicrous this idea is."

“True, but I’ve heard of crazier.” Notary stated. “Though how does Heavy Roller fit into this?”

“My guess? Sabotage.” Cheerilee stated. “Have Heavy use his skills as both a smuggler and a cartwright to make Royal Guards wagons and equipment fall apart at inopportune moments or reveal to be carrying contraband. One embarrassment won’t end the royal guard, but it will put them under greater scrutiny for Stone Wall to capitalise on.”

“We have to go to the authorities.” Heavy stated. “Even if this stunt doesn’t discredit the guard somepony could get seriously hurt.”

“With what evidence?” Notary asked. “The files Cheerilee and I stole or the confession you two beat out of a mobster?”

“We have to do something!” Heavy insisted. “If he’s planning to discredit the royal guards, this will only be the beginning. Who knows how many lives will be ruined by this!”

“Think long and hard about what you’re suggesting.” Big Mac said as he removed the tie he had been wearing. “We started this to stop you losing Scootaloo. You’re no good to her dead or in prison.”

“If I stand by and let her mother’s legacy be dragged through the mud, what good am I to her now?”

Big Mac stood up and abruptly slammed Heavy Roller into a wall.

“Don’t ever say that again!!!” Big Mac warned.

Cheerilee stepped in between them.

“Enough!” She said. “This isn’t helping anyone.”

“Neither is some suicide mission.” The farmer shot back. “I signed on to help keep Scootaloo with her father but this goes way beyond that. The smart thing to do now is to walk away before one of us winds up dead.”

“You’re right, that would be the smart thing.” Cheerilee agreed quickly before going in for the kill. “But would you be saying that if it was Applebloom or Applejack on the line?”

Big Mac glared at her.

“Sorry, that was a low blow.” She admitted. “But you know I’m right.”

Big Mac just looked away and walked to another side of the room.

“Alright, alright. This needs to be addressed since the goals have shifted.” Cheerilee said to the group, trying her best to keep emotion out of her voice. “This is no longer a blackmail mission. We need to take Stone Wall down completely. I’m seeing this through to the end but If any of you want to back out, I understand.”

All eyes fell on Heavy. “Stone Wall threatened to take my daughter away from me and now he is threatening to ruin my wife’s legacy and that of every one of her colleagues.” His voice almost boiled with a cold fury. “I don’t want to just stop him anymore, I want to destroy him.”

Filthy shrugged as he took a sip from his drink. “In for a jangle, in for a bit. Stone Wall is scum and he needs to be dealt with.”

“I’ve certainly done a lot worse for less noble causes.” Notary murmured. “I’m willing to be a bad guy for a little longer.”

The room turned silent as everypony turned to the red stallion yet to speak. He deliberated for a moment then said.

“If this goes south, I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to protect any of you.”

“We’re not asking if you can protect us.” Heavy replied. “But we could use your help if you’re willing to finish this.”

Big Mac was silent for another moment before giving his answer.

“Eeyup.”

“Alright so now that’s out of the way, any ideas of how we’ll actually do this?” Filthy asked.

“There ain’t that many places Gelato’s crew could stage an ambush.” The apple farmer stated. “We could probably intercept them before they can strike.”

“Stopping the strike will only stall Stone Wall’s plans.” Heavy countered. “To stop him, he will have to be at the center of any fallout we plan for him.”

“The best place for that would be during the show.” Notary commented. “If we could find a way to get into the Wall Flower that is.”

“Well there is Subtle Service’s invitation.” Filthy offered. “I’m sure we could find a way to turn it into a plus one.”

“Possible but the audience gets limited access.” Cheerilee said. “We need full access of the theatre.”

“How about if we pose as staff?” Heavy asked.

“This is an event run by a private security company.” Notary replied. “Even their janitors get a triple background check. Anyone without signed or verbal authorisation will at best be kicked out.”

“Well if audience is impractical and posing as staff is too risky the only other way in would be as performers.” Filthy picked up the program he had received along with his invitation. “And looking at the star power already amassed for this show I doubt he’s going to be open to some last minute additions.”

Cheerilee developed a mischievous grin.

“Alright then, let’s go steal a headliner.”

Let's go steal a headliner

View Online

Heavy walked into the kitchen, pausing briefly to savour the incredibly appetizing smell and saw Big Mac working at the stove.

“Hey Mac,” he said, “What’s cooking?”

“Minestrone,” The red stallion replied. “Was craving some after seeing that botched attempt at the restaurant.”

“So that whole food critic bit wasn’t just an act?”

Big Mac shrugged. “Started early on helping Granny Smith in the kitchen, add that to more than a few reunions with relatives trying to out do each other in the food department and you pick up a few things.”

Satisfied with the finished soup, Big Mac fill two bowls before passing one to Heavy.

“Family is the most important thing there is, they help make you who you are.” He gave Heavy a hard look. “Don’t ever doubt the importance you have in Scootaloo's life.”

“You’re right.” Heavy conceded. “But thank you for staying to help finish this.”

Big Mac shrugged. “As Notary said, save the thank you’s for after we’re finished.”

“So you do listen to me.”

The two stallions turned to see Notary, Cheerilee and Filthy walking in.

“When you say something worth listening to.”

“Fair enough. Finish your food, it’s time to suit up.”

Big Mac and Heavy Roller finished their soup and followed Filthy to the other room. Notary meanwhile went over to the pot and inspected the soup. After a slight nod of approval, she poured herself a bowlful.

“We should probably eat up, we have a big day ahead of us.”

“Yeah, but I want to talk to you about Bear.” Cheerilee replied.

“Look, I know having someone who could recognise me makes things difficult, but we don’t have anyone to spare.” Notary shot back. “We just have to make sure Bear doesn’t spot me until everything is in motion.”

“That’s not what I mean.” Cheerilee replied. “Do you think Bear is involved in this?

“Honestly? I don’t know.” Notary admitted. “I didn’t know him all that well, but from what I gathered in his background checks and working with him I found him moral but duty-bound. He wouldn’t follow an order that was directly reprehensible but he wouldn’t question what was behind any order he was given either.”

“So there is a chance he may have nothing to do with this?”

“Possibly.”

There was a moment as Notary continued to enjoy her soup. After some deliberation, Cheerilee spoke again.

“Look, I can’t promise Bear won’t be caught in the crossfire of this. If you don’t want to be a part of this I completely understand.”

Notary gave Cheerilee a weak smile.

“I know you would, that’s what makes you a good pony, but I’m not going anywhere. I don’t want to ruin any more lives. I would like Bear to walk away from this unscathed but at the end of the day, he’s just a former work colleague. You’re my friend. I know where my loyalties lie.” Notary took a long sip of her soup. “So you sure this will work?”

“It has to.” Cheerilee admitted, staring into her own bowl.

Notary gave the teacher a reassuring pat on the forehoof. “For what it’s worth, we have faith in you. Isn’t that right?”

“Eeyup.”

Cheerilee turned and gave an approving whistle when she saw Big Mac in costume. “Nicely done.”

“Yes.” FIlthy said as he walked in. “It’s amazing what you can do with enough magazines. So now it’s just a question of getting him a spot in the show.”

Despite herself, a sly grin appeared on Cheerilee’s face.

“That’s going to be the fun part.”


“WHAT DO YOU MEAN BOOMING BARITONE CANCELLED?!”

To the theatre manager’s credit, he didn’t flinch even though Stone Wall’s outburst probably could be heard throughout the whole theatre.

“His letter explained that due to unforeseen circumstances he is unable able to perform tonight.” The manager explained.

“He is the opening act for the show!” Stone Wall started to pace. “How dare he do this to me!!”

“His letter does apologise greatly for the inconvenience and he has offered his pupil take his place. Otherwise we could move the second act forward and just....”

“Do you know the calibre of ponies that will be attending tonight?” Stone Wall demanded. “Tonight needs to be perfect!!!”

“Is this a bad time?”

In the doorway to the theatre office stood Subtle Service.

“I was in the neighbourhood and just a wanted to give you a little something to the celebrate our potential future endeavours.” He held up a bottle of well aged scotch.

Despite himself, Stone Wall took the bottle.

“Thank you,” He replied dryly. “I think I’ll be needing this very soon.”

“What seems to be the trouble?” Subtle asked

“Booming Baritone, our opening act for tonight’s show, is unable to perform.”

“Unable to perform?” Subtle said, sounding genuinely shocked. “Did he say why?”

“No, his letter just said ‘unforeseen consequence.’”


A somewhat round and portly stallion with a light blue coat and styled black mane stepped out of a train carriage, dragging a small suitcase. He had an expensive looking travel jacket on with a with a silk shirt and bow-tie peeking out. His stage clothes had already been sent to the theatre as per his instructions.

As he climbed down the station platform, the well-dressed pony saw an orange stallion in a chauffeur outfit holding a sign with the name ‘Booming Baritone’ on it.

“Let's get a move on.” Booming said curtly, not even bothering to look him in the eye. “I haven’t got all day.”

“Very good sir.” The chauffeur responded, taking the devo’s luggage.

The singer climbed into the waiting carriage as the chauffeur put himself back in harness. Booming noticed a whisky decanter and a glass waiting for him.

“Good to see you got my preference right,” He called out to the chauffeur. “I expect a smooth ride, it'll be your head if I spill my drink.”

“I'll try my best sir.”

Booming took a long sip of the drink he had poured himself before his eyes narrowed.

“THIS IS JUST ICE TEA!!”

“Of course sir.” There was a loud thud within the carriage as Booming fell unconscious. “Mixing alcohol with a sleeping potion would be greatly irresponsible.”


“And to add insult to injury, he sent one of his no name pupils to fill in for him.” Stone Wall started to pace. “As if I will accept some talentless hack opening up for my show.”

“Now now, Stone Wall. I’m sure someone as notable as Booming Baritone wouldn’t send someone in their stead unless they felt they were up to the task.” Subtle reasuured. “Who did he send?”

“Somepony called Bass Clef.” The manager offered.

“Oh.” Despite only using one syllable Subtle sounded impressed.

“You know of him?” Stone Wall asked.

“Not intimately.” Subtle admitted. “He opened for Booming Baritone in one of the Hoofington performances I attended. He showed potential.”

Stone Wall stood thoughtful for a moment before the manager spoke up.

“Bass Clef and his agent are still waiting in the main hall. Shall I tell them to leave?”

“No,” Stone Wall finally said. “I will resolve this matter personally.” He turned to Subtle. “Thank you for the gift. Hopefully I will see you at the show tonight.”

Knowing a dismissal when he heard one, Subtle took his leave.


As Stone Wall entered the Main Hall, he took the time to make sure decorations were on track. There were rows of seats on the ground level with the rest of the levels filled with the theatre boxes. This included the royal box, that a couple of ponies were making sure was ready for when the Princess took her seat. Apparently the theatre had been designed to emulate the great halls of Canterlot so while it wasn’t nearly as grand, it still had a lot of the same finishing.

Everyone he passed that saw him gave a quick greeting and acknowledgement then got back to work. The faces he didn’t recognise were a serious looking brown mare in business suit, a fat charcoal coloured stallion that looked as big as a house in all directions and a purple mare in one of the gaudiest sun dresses he had ever seen.

Noticing him entering, the brown mare approached Stone Wall.

“Mr Wall, it’s a pleasure to meet you, I am Dotted Line. Bass Clef’s agent. I can’t apologise enough for any inconvenience caused by Booming Baritone’s cancellation. Still, while Bass Clef is not quite as renowned as Booming yet, he is more than capable of give a great show.” The agent spoke in a crisp Trottingham accent as she fished out papers from her briefcase. “ I have some commendations from previous performances that should highlight his skill.”

“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!” The purple mare let out a long high pitched note.

“Who is that?” Stone Wall asked.

“That’s Amethyst Brooch.” Dotted Lined answered in what appeared to be strained patience. “Bass Clef’s vocal coach and the bane of my existence.”

Amethyst joined the two.

“The acoustics in your theatre could be better but they will serve Bass Clef’s performance well enough.”

“There’s not going to be a performance unless I see him in action and am convinced he has what it takes. I want hear him sing.”

“Mr Wall.” Dotted Line stammered. “I have a list of his previous shows as well as glowing commendations from people that have attend his performances. Surely that is evidence of his ability to perform for you tonight.”

“The only evidence I see right now is evidence that Bass Clef ATE Booming Baritone.” Stone Wall shot back, giving the agent a hard stare. “Now either your client gets on stage and wows me or else not only will I not have him perform tonight, I will make sure neither he nor Booming work in this town again.”

“Enough!”

Both Dotted Line and Stone Wall turned to see Amethyst tapping her hoof.

“Why must art be hampered by this needless prattle?” She asked in a clipped Prench accent. “If Bass Clef must sing to prove his worth then he will sing.” She then closed the distance between her and Stone Wall. “But know this, if his performance tonight is hampered because he strained his voice to satisfy your demands, then you will answer to me.”

Stone Wall rolled his eyes.

“I’ll take my chances.”

“BASS CLEF!!!” Amethyst bellowed, causing everyone to jump. “To the stage.”

Following instructions, Bass Clef went onto the stage and did a few vocal warm ups. While all the eyes were on stage no-one noticed Dotted Line shifting over to stand beside Amethyst.

“We’re in trouble.” Dotted Line said through grit teeth.

“Just hold on.” Amethyst Brooch replied in a hushed tone.

“Hold on?! I can fake an apology letter and commendations but as soon as Big Mac opens his mouth we’re…”

Nessun dorma!

Bass Clef’s voice rang out, silencing the theatre.

Nessun dorma!
Tu pure, o Principessa,
nella tua fredda stanza,
guardi le stelle
che tremano d'amore, e di speranza!
Ma il mio mistero chiuso in me;
il nome mio nessun sapra!
No, No! Sulla tua bocca lo diro quando la luce splendera!
Ed il mio bacio sciogliera il silenzio
che ti fa mia!
Il nome suo nessun sapr,
E noi dovrem, ahim, morir, morir!
Dilegua, o notte! Tramontate, stelle!
Tramontate, stelle! All'alba vincero!
Vincero!
Vincero!

Stone Wall turned to sound of clapping and saw the stage manager applauding. Said manager stopped clapping and gave a sheepish grin. Amethyst managed to close Dotted Line’s gaping mouth before Stone Wall noticed.

“Fine, I’m convinced.” The pegasus conceded. “But I am not paying him the same as what was promised to Booming.”

“That is regrettable but understandable.” Dotted Line replied. “There is however, one last thing we need to discuss. The manuscript for the show says that Bass Clef will be singing from a roll out boat prop.” She pulled out a clipboard and gave it to Stone Wall, who recognised that it had a standard stage access consent form. “We would like to bring a contractor in to assess the prop and make sure it is safe for Bass Clef to use.”

“All of the sets and props meet standard regulations.”

“Puh!!” Amethyst spat. “Your measly standards can not comprehend the sheer presence that Bass Clef possesses.”

Amethyst was shoved out of the way by Dotted Line.

“What she means is that the last three sets that were built to standard regulations have broken under Bass Clef’s weight.” She said frankly. “I have made it a point to get anything that has to support him doubled checked. We have a contractor on retainer who will be able to have the prop checked and suitably reinforced within the hour. All at no extra cost to you.”

“Fine.” Stone Wall signed the consent form and gave it back. “But your guy better not disrupt the rest of the preparations.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Dotted Line said, “I hear tonight’s show will be quite memorable.”

As the stage Manager took Bass Clef to his dressing room, Dotted Line and Amethyst Brooch went to one of the side entrances to make the necessary arrangements.

“You know Cheerilee,” Notary said, dropping the Dotted Line persona. “As thankful as I am that Big Mac didn’t bury this plan into a shallow grave, a heads up would have been nice.”

“What, and miss that look on your face?” Cheerilee asked with cheeky grin. “Besides, do you honestly think that I would put him in the role if I didn’t know he could pull that off?”

“Fair enough but how exactly did you know he could?” Notary demanded.

Cheerilee shrugged, “He likes to sing in the shower.”

Notary stopped as Cheerilee walked off.

“Wait, what?”


“Here you are, mister Clef.” The stagehand said. “We’ll come get you when it’s time for make up.”

Bass Clef simply nodded and then made a shooing motion. The stagehand left quickly, leaving the singer with his agent. Said singer turned to inspect the room, it was what you would expected out of a theatre like this. He then noticed Notary staring at him.

“What?”

“I underestimated you.” She said simply.

The stallion shrugged. “Most ponies do. I’m sure you can relate.”

A faint smile appeared on her face. “It does have its uses though.”

“Eeyup.”

There was a knock on the door. It opened to reveal two stallions with a large case.

“Is this Bass Clef’s dressing room? We got his costumes.”

“Brilliant, bring it in.”


Cheerilee lead Heavy to the back entrance of the theatre. His coat was dyed red and he wore a cap and overalls that made his body shape look different. He was also pulling a wagon filled with wood, tools and various spare parts.

They arrived at the entrance. Cheerilee pulled out the clip board with the form that Stone Wall had signed and gave to the guard waiting there.

“This is Fine Finish.” Cheerilee explained. “He’s here to look at the prop.”

“What’s going on here?”

Load Bearing and a security detail approached.
“While you were finishing up at headquarters, the opening act canceled.” The guard explained. “They got a replacement but apparently he’s a fatty so they called in someone to reinforce the prop.”

Load Bearing raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Search the wagon for contraband.” He said as he took the clipboard, looking it over as the guards searched the wagon.

“You’re not the usual person we get for the props.”

“Nope, the agent of the opening act hires me.” Heavy replied, deliberately affecting a Neigh Jersey accent. “I know what sorta reinforcement the big guy needs.”

“Wagon’s clear sir, just timber, nails and tools.”

Load Bearing nodded with grudging approval and then looked at the carpenter one last time. After a tense moment he gave back the clipboard.

“You will work quickly and efficiently. You will not work outside the area we have allocated to you or disturb anyone else. When you have finished you will notify one of the personnel and be escorted off the premises. Do I make myself clear?”

“Look buddy,” Heavy replied. “So long as I’m getting paid, you’ll get no argument from me.”

Load Bearing glared at the carpenter. “I’m not your buddy.”

“Sure thing, pal.” Heavy replied as he walked past.

The two earth ponies and the wagon were led to one of the theatre workshops. The boat prop was there waiting for them.

Once they were alone, Cheerilee turned to Heavy.

“What was that bit at the end about?”

“Key to smuggling; don’t antagonise security but be irritating enough that they want you gone as soon as possible.”

Cheerilee didn’t really have a response to that.

“Well, I’ll better go check on the rest.”

Once completely alone, Heavy push a switch hidden on the rear axle of the wagon. A false compartment opened up, revealing some key components to his little project.

“Well then, let’s make some magic.”


“Alright listen up!” Load Bearing called out the security personnel. “In two hours this theatre will start letting in guests for the pre show party so I want a full sweep of this theatre before they arrive. You all know where you need to be once the show starts. The boss has requested that I personally supervise security in the guest areas. So I’ve brought in Trigger Happy from the playground to supervise backstage.” He pointed to a nearby unicorn. “I expect her to have your full obedience and attention. If I find out even one of you acted insubordinate, then you all will answer to me. Now get to work.”

As the rest of the security spread out, Trigger Happy approached Load Bearing.

“Sir, you never responded to my request to bring my crossbow.”

“Because I knew you would bring it even if I said no.” The stallion snorted. “Just so we’re clear, I am not going to be the one who explains to the boss why there is a bolt filled corpse.”

“Understood sir, I’ll only use it if I have to,” the mare responded. “One shot, one kill.”

“How about no shooting and no killing.”

“I’ll try sir.” Trigger Happy opened up the case she had been carrying and got to work assembling her crossbow. “So why bring me in? I’m R&D.”

“Because you’re a fresh set of eyes and a sharp pair at that.” Load Bearing responded. “The team all know what they need to do but that break-in back at headquarters showed we’re not as sharp as we need to be. We can’t afford for there to be any surprises.”

“Read you loud and clear.” The mare said as she checked the sights. “So anything particular I need to watch out for?”

“Just anything that doesn’t look like it belongs here and if you do see anything suspicious I want you...to…”

Load Bearing trailed off when he noticed a mare leaving one of the dressing rooms.

“Sir?”

“I’ll get back to you.” He started to walk off only to return and take all the bolts that had been in the case. “You’ll get these back when I know you’ll behave yourself.”

“Killjoy.” Trigger Happy mutter under her breath.

Load Bearing meanwhile approached the stage manager to ask whose dressing room it was.


Notary was scanning the security detail. By now, Cheerilee would have been well finished with Heavy and getting into position. Now it was up to Notary to keep an eye out for any causes for concern.

She turned and was suddenly confronted by Load Bearing. Despite every instinct telling her to run she kept her voice neutral and refrained from making eye contact.

“Can I help you?”

“Yes you can. Notary.” He replied. “You can tell me what you’re doing here, why you’re in that disguise and why everyone thinks your name is ‘Dotted-Line’.”

Let's go take the stage

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If Heavy was to hazard a guess, he would say the workshop that he had been left in was the one the theatre used for designing its big props. There wasn’t really anything of interest aside from some rigging and raw material. Though considering that most of the sets and props were ready to be set for the show it wasn’t too surprising.

The boat prop that Heavy had been “hired” to fix was modelled after classical style frigate but at a fraction of the size. It lacked sails and only represented the forward third of the vessel with exaggerated decoration but had enough of the other details that you could tell that was the look it was going for. The paint and detail on it wasn’t great but it was passable considering that audience would only see it from a distance. There were tiny wheels on the flat bottom to make it easier for the stage crew to move.

As expected the structure was also hollow on the inside in order for it to be lighter and easier to maneuver. It also made things easier for Heavy’s intended purpose. Opening it to get to the inner workings was simple enough but he made certain not to dawdle as he fitted his additions to the structure. Heavy hammered the last panel back on the boat prop just as one of the security guards turned up to check on him.

“You done yet?”

“Yep,” Heavy replied. “Just let me clean up my tools then I’ll get out of your mane.”

The guard briefly inspected the boat then nodded gruffly, failing to notice the sharp piece of metal now sticking out of the bowsprit.


Notary stole a glance at her former associate and took in a deep breath. She tried to bolt but was promptly stopped by Load Bearing’s magic. Keeping his hold on the mare, he dragged her to a quiet space backstage.

“Bear, please, I can explain-” Notary started.

“You can explain it to the boss.” Load Bearing replied, walking down the hall with the floating mare in tow. “It’s nothing personal.”

“I know that. When did you leave Canterlot?” Notary asked

“Shortly after you did.” He replied. “Mom’s getting on in years so I wanted to be closer to her.”

“Fair enough, please send her my regards.”

“I know what you’re doing.” Load Bearing stated. “You’re trying to play to my sentimentality so that I’ll let you go. Don’t insult both of our intelligence by trying to con me. Like I said, it’s nothing personal. Both you and the old boss were good to me and I was sorry to leave but I’ve got a new boss now.”

“And of course you will stand by him, you don’t have a disloyal bone in your body,” Notary replied. “That’s why we hired you. But Stone Wall doesn’t deserve your loyalty.”

Load Bearing stopped walking through the backstage and raised an eyebrow. “Really? Righteous indignation? Never thought I would see you play that card.”

“Your boss is trying to overthrow the Royal Guard.”

“What are you talking about?” Load Bearing asked in a doubting tone.

“Do you know what Stone Wall was doing in Ponyville?” Notary demanded.

“How do you know he was in Ponyville?”

“Because the cartwright he is blackmailing came to me for help.”

“Blackmail? He was offering him a job, the company is expanding and there was a need for an in-house cartwright.”

Despite the situation Notary raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Really? A company based in one of the largest cities in Equestria had to go all the way to a backwater town near Canterlot just to find a suitable candidate. And why exactly is the CEO doing the hiring instead of getting someone from middle management to do it?”

“Okay so maybe that’s a little shady.” Load Bearing conceded. “But the old boss in Canterlot didn’t always play things squeaky clean either.”

“You’re right he didn’t, in fact some of the things he did was downright criminal. But everything he did was with the goal of creating a better Equestria. Yes, he crossed a few lines he probably shouldn't have but he still had noble intentions. Your new employer claims to want a safer Equestria but all he wants is power and profit. He’s planning to stage an attempted kidnapping to discredit the Royal Guard. He wants to be the one in charge of protecting Equestria and he’s willing work with criminals as well as ruin lives in order to do it. And if he succeeds, would you honestly want to put the nation's safety squarely in his hooves? ”

“Not to sound petty but both you and the boss thrived on lies and manipulation, so it makes it pretty hard to take what you say at face value.”

“Yes, we lied and manipulated ponies.” Notary agreed. “But we never lied to you. And you wouldn’t be standing here listening to me if you didn’t already have a feeling that Stone Wall was up to something.”

Load Bearing was silent for a moment before responding. “So do you have any proof to back up your claims or do you just expect me to take your word for it?” He waited for a response but none came. “That’s what I thought.”


As Load Bearing led Stone Wall to the storage room, he brought the pegasus up to speed.

"...she says that she was working for that stallion you visited in Ponyville but that's about all the information I was able to get from her."

"We'll keep her quiet till after the show, then we will get some answers out of her."

They opened the door to the storage room. Inside Notary was sitting in a corner with one of the larger security guards glaring down at her. Stone Wall closed the distance as he took time to size up the mare.

"Do you have any idea who you decided to mess with?"

Notary looked at him with a mask of bored indifference. "Do you have any idea how little I care?"

Stone Wall snarled at her before turning back to Load Bearing.

"Round up the rest of her crew."


Big Mac was in the dressing room doing last minute preparations. He was dressed up like an old time sea captain. A gaudy, stuffed shirt sea captain that was really lucky to be part of a navy that didn’t have a weight restriction. Between the ruffles, sashes and the fake medals he looked downright ridiculous.

Still, he was playing the serious operatic singer so he was committed to the role. He gargled some seltzer water before spitting it into a nearby glass and doing his vocal exercises.

“Aaaaah...in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General!”

Satisfied with that and seeing the time, he went to the costume chest to get one last thing.

Shortly afterwards Big Mac stepped out of his dressing room, a dramatically plumed hat now completing his look. As he was heading to the meeting point his path was blocked by a couple of security guards.

"Excuse me," he said as he tried step past them.

The guards instead moved to block his path again.

“Hey, not so fast fatso. You need to come with us, your performance has been cancelled."

Realising what was going on, Big Mac instead responded with a swift hoof to the jaw. He then raised his guard to block an incoming punch and then knocked out the second stallion with a head butt.

“Y’all really shouldn’t insult a pony’s size.” He chided the two fallen stallions.

He then mentally cursed when a previously unseen pony jumped onto his back and tried to put him in a chokehold. Acting quickly, Big Mac jumped back first into a nearby wall. The guard on his back let out a short wheeze and the wind was knocked out of him, causing the chokehold to weaken.

Big Mac’s actions were then stopped by a bolt flying through the air and hitting him in the chest. He looked down and saw the bolt sticking out of his barrel. Several more soon joined it. He shakily looked up and saw Trigger Happy standing nearby with her repeating crossbow pointed at him. He tried to lean forward to get back on four hooves. Instead he toppled over and fell on his side. Trigger Happy closed the distance and only lowered her weapon once she was sure he had stopped moving.

“Is he dead?” A guard asked.

Trigger Happy placed her hoof in front of the downed stallion’s muzzle to feel for a breath. “No but I just hit him with enough sleep potion laced bolts that so long as he doesn’t overdose he’ll be out for the next 12 hours.” She said in a tone so nonchalant that she might have been commenting on a passing flight of birds before she noticed guards standing there staring. “Are you going to go find the rest of his crew or do I have to do that too?”


From her vantage point on the catwalk, Cheerilee saw Big Mac been taken down. As much as she would have liked to run to his aid, she knew it would do no good, she had to get out of here. She started to make her move towards one of the exit points she had scouted out, stopping when she saw some of the security detail waiting for her on that end of the cat walk. Her attempts to backtrack were thwarted by guards closing in on the other end as well.

"Easy now," the front guard said cautiously. "No one needs to get hurt."

The school teacher did what she thought was the most logical course of action, jumping over the railing. Luckily she had had time to hook a rope, leaving the guards dumbfounded as she rappelled down. When her hooves touched the ground she unhooked herself and tried to make a run for it. Unfortunately her escape efforts were stopped when she was magically pinned against a wall. Despite not being able to move her head she saw Bear in the corner of her eye, horn glowing and a stern look upon his face.


Cheerilee was forced into a storage room where Notary was being held.

"Keep an eye on them," Bear ordered the guard. "The boss will have questions for them after the show’s over."

He then left the two mares with the guard glaring down at them.

"Not gonna lie," Cheerilee muttered to Notary. "Your former work colleague is kinda a jerk."


"So is that everyone?" Stone Wall demanded.

"That repair pony they had hired finished up and left before we could get to him." Load Bearing replied. "We've checked his work and the platform seems solid. Aside from that we got everyone else."

"Good, I want them detained until after the show then we'll deal with them." He then paused when realisation hit and let out a low growl.

"Sir?" Load Bearing asked curiously.

"Get me some guards, we still have one more rat to catch.”


There was buzz of activity at the steps to the main entrance of the theatre. Many finely dressed ponies had arrived for the pre-show party. Ponies chatting with each other filed into the theatre, pausing briefly to show the security guards their invite before being let in. Filthy, once more donning his Subtle Service disguise, was doing his best to blend into the crowd which unfortunately placed him behind a couple incredibly well-dressed but snobbish-looking mares.

“Have you had a look at the lineup for this show?” The one mare asked the other. “What a positively garish assortment.”

“Too true,” the other mare responded. “Though at least they had the good sense to open with Booming Baritone.”

“Indeed. Perhaps there is hope of entertainment tonight.”

“More than you realise,” Subtle muttered.

As he made it to the entrance, he suddenly found his path being blocked by Stone Wall and a few of his security staff.

“Oh hello Mr. Wall.” He said cheerfully. “Nice of you to come greet me.”

“You know a funny thing happened today.” Stone Wall said. “The singer that arrived at the last minute to replace Booming Baritone ended up being a fraud. This raises an interesting question.”

“Like who exactly is going to open now?”

“Like if the singer was a fake, how exactly could you have seen him opening for Booming Baritone in Hoofington?”

“Well obviously it means I mistook him for somepony else,” Subtle said dismissively.

“Or you could have been in on it and only been pretending to be working on behalf of some wealthy clients.”

“That’s an awfully drastic assumption to make.”

“When we first met you asked if I was a betting stallion. Well you know what, let’s take a gamble.” Stone Wall turned to his security detail. “Take him round the corner and teach him a lesson.”

Subtle was flanked at both sides by security. Subtle meanwhile maintained a seemingly relaxed attitude.

“Well since I no longer have to keep up appearances let it be known I never liked you,” Subtle stated. “I would call you a classless sack of garbage but that would be an insult to garbage since at some point it had probably been something worthwhile.”

Stone Wall grit his teeth, but knowing that he could not afford to make a scene, he simply let the security detail drag Subtle Service off.


The pre-show party was now in full swing. Despite the tension caused by earlier events, Stone Wall was still doing his best to schmooze his high-profile guests.

"Princess, it so wonderful that you could grace my theatre tonight."

"The pleasure is mine." Princess Mi Amore Cadenza replied. "It is nice to take a break from diplomatic work and enjoy a show on Bridleway."

"In that case, we will do our best not to disappoint." He saw Load Bearing approach. "If you would excuse me."

"I spoke to the stage manager." Load Bearing explained once the two were out of earshot from the Princess. "Despite the mix-up with the schedule, we can still start the show at the same time, it will just mean a longer intermission."

"Fine, fine," the pegasus said dismissively. "just make sure that those four scoundrels we caught are secure, we can't afford to have anything else go wrong tonight."

"Excuse me sir.” Stone Wall turned to see the theatre manager standing there holding a note. "I have a message for you."

"Give it to me after the show." Stone Wall snapped.

"I would sir, but the stallion who gave it to me was insistent that I deliver this as soon as possible," The manager explained. "He said his name was Heavy Roller."

That got Stone Wall's attention. He snatched the note from the manager and read it.

I know about your deal with the Cannoli Family. Meet me in the loft of the theatre.

Stone Wall crumpled up the note and pocketed it before turning to Load Bearing.

“Come with me, there’s one more pest to deal with.”


The loft was a room located near the top of the theatre, filling the space between the outer eves and the inner acoustically domed ceiling. Though it was used mainly for storage, it had an opening for pegasi to reach the ceiling lights without disturbing the audience below. It also offered a good view of the stage.

Stone Wall wasn’t sure how Heavy Roller had found out about this place but frankly, it was low on the list of stuff that cartwright shouldn’t know about.

“Is there any way out of the loft aside from this door?”

“Not unless he has wings.” Load Bearing answered.

“Good, now this stallion may make some outlandish claim but before you start buying into anything he says just remember that I am the one signing your cheques.”

“I haven’t forgotten sir.”

“Good.” He stepped into the loft. After a brief scan of his surroundings he saw Heavy Roller standing on the balcony.

“So you actually came personally,” Heavy said with a smirk. “Perhaps you’re not completely gutless.”

Stone Wall stepped onto the small balcony.

“You know, with the amount of grief you and your friends have caused me, I’m sorely tempted to push you off this ledge.”

“You’re not going to do that,” the cartwright replied in a dry tone. “The sight of my smushed body would create panic, somepony would call the guard and then that would spell the end of that little attempted kidnapping you have planned for after the show.” Heavy felt a brief sense of satisfaction when he saw the look of indignation of the pegasus’ face. “Though I have to be honest, what exactly is your end goal in all this? So you discredit the royal guard and then your company takes over the duty of protecting Equestria. Yes, it will increase your market share but is a potential profit really worth all this effort?"

"Profit?" Stone Wall asked mockingly. "This is about power, authority. You know why this country follows the Princess?"

"Because she is a benign immortal with the power to shift the sun and the moon?"

"Because Equestria's military follows her blindly."

"No I'm pretty sure it's the benign immortal thing."

"The military is what holds the real power," Stone Wall insisted. "This nation is filled with brain-dead pack animals. They will follow anyone they think will keep them safe so that they can concentrate on their trivial purposes. The Princess will still be the head of Equestria but I will be the neck, turning the head any way I want."

"So that's your end game, you want to become the neck of Equestria?" Heavy shrugged. "Well I can think of worse aspirations. You could want to be the spleen of Equestria. Though if your goal had been to become the colon of Equestria I'd say you already are."

Stone Wall glared at Heavy who simply grinned back.

"As fun as this banter is, I have a busy evening ahead and while I probably should ask you what you and your conspirators were hoping to achieve, I frankly don't care."

"'Hope to...'? What makes you think we haven't already achieved it?"

"Oh please. If you had any evidence you would have taken it to the authorities."

"True, we don't have any evidence. Well, at least nothing that could be considered a credible source." Heavy admitted. "So we had to improvise."

"Well that really hasn't worked out too well for you. We have your team, all four of them."

That seemed to genuinely surprise Heavy roller. "That's...unfortunate."

"I imagine it is seeing as now your plan has gone up in smoke."

"No, the plan is still going ahead, I had just hoped they would get clear. Still, it's too late to stop it now."

"Too late? Maybe you didn't hear me, I have your team. You know what, I'm genuinely curious now, what's the plan? You steal my opening act and have your guy impersonate his replacement whilst another guy infiltrates the pre-show party, and then what? Were you going to try to thwart the kidnapping attempt? Try to warn the Princess?"

"Nope, the plan had been to make sure that your night was over well before the kidnapping could take place."

"What do you..."

"Shh...the show's starting." Heavy shushed, looking down at the stage.

Sure enough, the lights were dimming and the theatre quieted. Stone Wall looked down. Even in the dimmed theatre he could see everything from up in the loft. The rows of ponies on the ground and viewing boxes for the wealthier customers. The “Royal” box where the Princess was within spitting distance right below them.

A spotlight lit up onto the stage, revealing the host of the show, a gangly blue unicorn.

“Welcome one and all to the Royal HMS Amore Variety Show,” He said to the audience. “Opening tonight's show is the amazingly talented Booming Baritone."

There was loud applause when sure enough the curtain lifted and Booming rolled out on the boat prop.

"You see, the goal hadn't been to replace Booming," Heavy explained. "We just needed to a way to gain access to the boat prop."

"The boat prop? What's so important about the boat prop?"

"The key to successful smuggling, don't focus on what something is, focus on what it could be. Tell me, do you know where your demonstration ballista is at the moment?"

"Of course it's at the..." Stone Wall stopped when he saw the look Heavy was giving him. Instead he went to a communication tube in a nearby wall. "Communications. This is Stone Wall, telegraph Armory at the Playground. Have him confirm that the ballista is still there."

"Right away sir." a voice on the other end replied.

Stone Wall waited patiently. Shortly a response came through.

"Sir? Armory says that the ballista was moved off site as per the request they received."

"Impossible! Who authorised it?"

"They said you did. The pony who picked it up had an authorisation form with your signature on it."

"I didn't sign any..." Stone Wall paused.


Notary took the form Stone Wall signed authorising the repair and evaluation of the boat prop. She placed an authorisation form and lay it over top. She then used the mimic ink on the authorisation form, causing the Stone Wall's signature to appear on the authorisation form. She then gave the "signed" form to Cheerilee.

"Have fun."


Cheerilee and Heavy were in jumpsuits, leaning against a wagon while some ponies were loading in the ballista.

"You know if you guys had bothered to give me a little warning we would have had it already prepped for transport," Armory grumbled as he signed the clipboard.

"Yeah, sorry ‘bout that but we just pick things up and drop ‘em off," Cheerilee replied as she took back the clipboard. "Take care now."


Stone Wall walked back to Heavy.

"Where is my ballista?" He growled.

Heavy smirked and tilted his head towards the stage. Stone Wall looked down and then finally noticed the bowsprit sticking out of the front of the boat prop now boasted a gleaming spear head.

"You know I want to give major kudos to your engineers. The disassembly and reassembly was a piece of cake," Heavy said. "I didn't even need to overly modify it to make it fit inside the frame of the boat. I had to make a longer spear so that it still made a convincing bowsprit. Hopefully at this distance the increased length won't affect its flight too greatly."

"Flight?" It took a moment for Stone Wall to notice that the bowsprit was pointed directly at box where Princess Mi Amore Cadenza was sitting. "No, you wouldn't."

"I would." Heavy said evilly. "I fitted the boat with a pressure plate. Booming has been told to step on the plate as he ends his song. He thinks it will cause a flag to spring up but actually it will release the bolt. But don't worry, she's an alicorn, I'm sure she'll be able to stop it in time. At least I hope she does."

“Impossible.” Stone Wall insisted. “My guards checked the prop.”

“As I expected them to,” Heavy replied. “but do any of your rent-a-thugs have an engineering background?”

Stone Wall paused and turned to Load Bearing who shrugged.

“Trigger Happy was too busying dealing with the intruders, she didn’t have a chance to check out the boat prop.”

“You’re bluffing,” Stone Wall stated. “Even if you were that good, all this will achieve is, at best, getting you arrested for attempted regicide.”

“You tried to blackmail me into working for you, you know exactly how good I am,” Heavy replied, anger burning deep in his throat. “And do you honestly think that investigations will end with just some random smuggler turned cartwright from Ponyville? Ask yourself, who owns this theatre? Who personally invited the Princess? Who insisted that theatre security be handled by his own company? Who owns the ballista?” He looked at the business stallion with a mad gleam in his eye. “There was nothing I could do to stop you ruining my life but at least this way I’m taking you down with me.”

Stone Wall was speechless for a long, horrified moment. Long enough to hear that the song was nearing the climax.

“Keep your eye on the finale,” Heavy said with a wink. “I hear it’s going to knock ‘em dead.”

The pegasus looked down and saw the singer priming his hoof to step forward.

"Stooopp!" Stone Wall shrieked in panic as he jumped off the balcony and flew down to the stage.

Booming Baritone was hitting his final long note, unaware of the incoming pegasus until he was punched in the face by Stone Wall. The singer fell off the boat prop to the ground in a daze.

The audience gasped in stunned surprise. Stone Wall ignored them as he frantically jumped off the side of the prop and began desperately shoving it aside, pointing it AWAY from the royal box.

"What is the meaning of this!!!”

Stone Wall looked up and saw he was surrounded by royal guards. Behind them a pink alicorn glared imperiously down at him.

"Stone Wall?" She said in dismay when she recognised him. "I hope there is some explanation for this?"

"Princess? Thank goodness!" He said as he tried to regain composure. "I had just uncovered an attempt on your life! I had to act before the ballista was fired."

"Ballista?"

"Yes, that prop is secretly a ballista. If Booming had been allowed to finish his song he would have unwittingly fired it straight at you."

The Princess glanced at the boat. She then gestured at a couple of her guard who proceeded to inspect it.

"No ballista here." A guard finally stated. "It's completely hollow."

"Of course there's a ballista!" Stone Wall shrieked, he shoved the guard out of the way and pulled on the spear head at the end of the bowsprit. "The bolt is right here--" He fell backwards as metal spear head came off the wooden bowsprit easily.

The Princess glanced down at the loose spear head. "If this is your idea of joke, know that I am not amused."

Stone Wall looked down at the spear. “They set me up.” He muttered.

The Princess raised an eyebrow. “You were set up? I’m pretty sure nopony forced you to assault Booming Baritone.”

“No your highness, it’s true. Come with me. I’ll take you to the ponies responsible!” Stone Wall started running backstage.

The Princess and the guards were perplexed but they still followed behind the raving pegasus, leaving a very confused audience behind.

Stone Wall raced to the storage room where Heavy’s team were being held. He flung the door open and found it to be empty.

“What the…” He spotted Trigger Happy nearby. “You there! Where are they?”

Trigger Happy tilted her head slightly.

“Where are who?”

“The ponies we were keeping here for questioning.”

“We weren’t keeping any ponies for questioning.”

“You shot one of them with your crossbow!”

“I would never carry a loaded crossbow with so many civilians about.” Trigger Happy answered looking agast. “That would be greatly irresponsible and could break several laws regarding weapon use.”

Stone Wall grabbed the unicorn and started shaking her. “Don’t you lie to me!”

“ENOUGH!!!”

Stone Wall released his grip on Trigger Happy as the enraged Princess commanded his full attention.

“I have been beyond patient but I will not let you harm another pony.”

Despite this, Stone Wall suddenly exclaimed, “The loft!” and started running again.

“Have a stun spell ready,” The Princess said to one of the guards. “He may be having an episode.”

“Understood, highness.”


Stone Wall arrived back at the loft and saw both Load Bearing and Heavy Roller were standing there.

“Yes!” he exclaimed in triumph, turning to the Princess as she arrived. “I give you the stallion responsible.”

“Isn’t he a part of your staff?” She asked.

“Not him!” Stone Wall exclaimed. “The other one.”

A few of the guards filed in and one noticed the cartwright.

“Oh hey, Heavy Roller.” The guard exclaimed. “How’s things?”

“Not bad Stratus,” Heavy replied.

“You know this pony?” The Princess asked.

“Sure do,” Stratus replied. “His wife served in the Guard. She was one of the finest ponies I had the pleasure to fly with.”

The Princess turned back to Stone Wall. “So you’re saying that the husband of a former Royal Guard made you punch your own opening act.”

“Argh!!” Stone Wall groaned in frustration before turning to Load Bearing. “Explain to them what’s going on.”

“Certainly.” Load Bearing turned the Princess. “Your highness, Stone Wall intended to try to kidnap you after the show as part of a long term plan to discredit the Royal Guard.”

“What?”

“Less than a week ago, Stone Wall went to Ponyville to coerce Mr Roller into working for him. He threatened to release falsified documents regarding Mr Roller’s wife if he failed to comply.” Load Bearing explained. “Unable to stand by this, I convinced Mr Roller to come to Manehatten to help collaborate this story while I launched an investigation to find further proof of wrongdoing. My investigation lead me to financial records detailing payments between him and the shell company of a known criminal element as well as letters of communication between him and said element. It was only today I was able to discern his full intent. He was going to discreetly drug your guards with a slow acting sedative and then you would be ambushed after the show, only for his employees to come to your ‘rescue’.”

“Do you have any proof?” The Princess asked.

“Here’s what I have so far.” Load Bearing produced a thick manilla file. “I was going to approach you during the show to warn you but then Stone Wall had his little episode.”

The Princess took file and skimmed through it. She then looked at an increasingly stupefied Stone Wall.

“This is pretty damning evidence.”

“It’s all lies!” Stone Wall snapped. “You can’t arrest me with such flimsy evidence.”

“Maybe, maybe not, this evidence needs to be formally reviewed before you could be charged. In any case as I am just a foreign dignitary here in Equestria I can’t charge you with anything. ” The Princess admitted. “However, I can recommend that you be arrested for assault and disorderly conduct while a formal investigation be launched.”

Before Stone Wall could respond, his legs and wings were magically restrained.

“Stone Wall, you are under arrest.” Stratus stated.

As the guards started to drag Stone Wall away, realisation dawned on him.

He had been played.


“So do you have any proof to back up your claims or do you expect me to take your word for it?” Load Bearing waited for a response but none came. “That’s what I thought.” He paused for a moment, then snorted. “You wouldn't let me catch you like this if you didn't think you had a compelling argument, so let's see it.”

Notary let out a whistle. Cheerilee ziplined down from the catwalk, holding a bag. She opened pulled out a file and gave it to Load Bearing who meanwhile looked at the newcomer with a bemused expression.

"What would have happened if I wasn't willing to listen?"

"There are a lot of sand bags up there."

Load Bearing read through the file very quickly, his expression darkening the more he read. Finally he closed it and gave it back to Notary. "You had better not be lying to me."

"I never would."

"Alright, I'm in. What do you need?"


"So you want me to help you take down the guy that signs both of our paychecks?" Trigger Happy asked.

"Pretty much." Load Bearing replied.

"Alright but you've got to give me my bolts back."


Heavy stuck the metal spear head onto the bowsprit.

“Well, that’s done but since I’m here I’d better make sure this thing can actually support Booming’s weight.”

He removed the side panels from the boat prop and check its support frame.

“Up to standard my eye.” He grumbled as he saw the shoddy work. “Did they think Booming was going to float a few inches above the prop instead of standing on it?”

Luckily he had enough time to reinforce the frame before a guard came to check on him.


Big Mac opened the costume chest that had been delivered. He removed the false bottom to reveal Booming Baritone who was still unconscious.

Carefully Big Mac lay the singer on the chair. After checking the time he gently shook the singer.

"Mr Baritone. It's almost time for make up."

"Wa...what?" Booming said groggily as he woke up. "Where am I?"

"You're at the Wall Flower theatre. You have a show here tonight." Big Mac explained. "You were exhausted from the trip so you decided to take a nap and asked me to wake you."

"Of...of course." Booming replied. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it," Big Mac responded as he made his way to the door.

He paused when he saw a big hat nearby. He then shrugged and put the hat on.


Trigger Happy looked up from the downed red stallion at the guards who were staring at her.

“Are you going to go find the rest of his crew or do I have to do that too?”

The guards ran off. Once she was sure she was alone she turned her attention back to the downed stallion.

"Hey big guy, you ok?"

Big Mac opened his eyes. "Eeyup."

Trigger Happy pulled out bolts and inspected the "wounds". Through the holes in the costume she could see that underneath the rolled up balls of paper to increase his bulk were stacked up layers of magazines that had stopped the bolts from penetrating his flesh.

"Wow," Trigger Happy commented. "I can not believe that worked."

"Then why the hay did you shoot me?!" He demanded.

"How else was I going to find out for sure?"


Filthy Rich was lead into the alley by two guards. They cornered him against a wall. Despite the situation, Filthy simply let out a bored sigh.

"Could we get this over with?" He asked. "This alley smells horrid."

One of the guards smirked. "Trust me, that's the least of your worries."

"I wasn't talking to you."

The guards had failed to noticed that Big Mac was standing behind them. He promptly knocked their heads together.


Load Bearing left the two mares with the guard glaring down at them.

"Not gonna lie," Cheerilee muttered to Notary. "Your former work colleague is kinda a jerk.” She glanced meaningfully at the lone guard. “I mean leaving one of his co-workers to get beat up, that’s cold."

"It would have raised too much suspicion if he had left no-pony to watch us." Notary replied. "And this guy also calls unicorns 'pin-heads' behind their backs."

"Fair enough, well I think they're gone by now. Time to go."

Both Cheerilee and Notary stood up.

"Hey!" The guard exclaimed. "Sit back down ladies!"

The two mares both raised a mocking eyebrow.

Two minutes later they were done hiding the unconscious guard under some tarps and so they left the room.


As Stone Wall was escorted out of the building he saw Cheerilee, Filthy Rich and Notary standing there on the steps, watching the spectacle unfold.

“It’s them!” He shouted as he struggled against the restraints. “They set me up!!”

The guards continued to drag the ranting pegasus, not even bothering to look at who he was referring to.

“Well,” Filthy commented. “That should do it.”

“Definitely, a good lawyer could get evidence that was gathered illegally thrown out in a second. But have the evidence presented by Stone Wall’s second in command and time for the authorities to build a proper case while he is done for assault isn’t nearly so easy weasel out of,” Notary commented. “Though where's Big Mac? I thought he would want to be here to see this.”

“Not his style,” Cheerilee answered. “Besides, he said he had something else to take care of.”


Gelato Cannoli and his crew were in hiding out in a nearby alley.

“Remember we attack the Princess and her detail but we bug out as soon as the other security guards jump in.” Gelato reminded.

“Boss? You better take a look at this.”

Gelato joined his look out at the edge of the alley, just in time to see Stone Wall being dragged off by the Royal Guard. Cursing under his breath he turned to his crew.

“Mission’s off, we need to get out of here.”

Knowing not to argue, the crew quickly packed up and started heading to their escape route out the back of the alley. They stopped when they saw said escape route was blocked by the biggest, reddest stallion they had ever seen..

“Howdy.”

Let's go home

View Online

It was a couple of days after the eventful night at the Wall Flower Theatre.

Load Bearing, wearing a business suit, stepped out of the Stone Wall Building and crossed the road. He arrived at the cafe to see the five earth ponies he was scheduled to meet sitting at table,waiting for him.

“Didn’t expect you all to be sticking around,” He commented.

“We wanted to make sure Stone Wall was dealt with,” Notary replied. “After all the effort we put into this we didn’t want the worm to somehow slither out of trouble.”

“Trust me that ain’t happening.” Load Bearing assured her. “He will be facing the full wrath of the Equestrian Legal system.”

“I also hear the Board has placed you as CEO,” the white mare replied. “Congrats on the promotion.”

“Thanks, the board thought it would help repair the company’s image if they made the pony who took down Stone Wall the new face of the company.” The unicorn explained. “It’s only for the interim while we clean up his mess.”

“Well for what it’s worth, you’re miles ahead of the last guy,” Filthy Rich stated.

“Thanks though I realise that isn’t much of an accomplishment,” Load Bearing replied. “You know, your entire plan hinged on you being able to convince me to help you, what would you have done if I hadn’t?”

“We would have switched to another variation of the plan,” Cheerilee responded.

“Variation?”

“There were about 16 variations to the plan you witnessed at the theatre,” Notary explained. “Only about six of those variations relied on you helping us.”

“One of those variations involved me actually reassembling the ballista inside the boat prop and firing it,” Heavy added.

“I had been hoping for that one,” Big Mac stated, then noticed the looks he was getting. “What? It seemed wasteful to go through all the effort of stealing the darn thing and not fire it at least once.”

“Yeah speaking of the ballista, what did you do with it?” Loading Bearing asked. “It is technically still Stone Wall Security property and Trigger Happy has been kinda antsy about getting it back.”

“Don’t worry, the day after the show we did the responsible thing and sent the authorities an anonymous tip for where to find it.”


Sweets Cannoli and the remaining members of the Cannoli family were filing into Al Dente’s restaurant. He was looking rather sombre from having found out what had happened to his brother.

“Set up a meeting with the Clarinet family.” He ordered his lieutenant. “Don’t come across as desperate but make it clear we’d be open to a partnership.”

“Will do boss,” Stromboli answered.

They stopped when they noticed something strange in the middle of the restaurant.

“What’s with the overgrown crossbow?”

The door banged open to the sound of blaring whistles.

“FREEZE! THIS IS THE GUARD! PUT YOUR HOOVES IN THE AIR!!”


“I’m sure once the police are done processing it you will get it back.”

“Good to know. There’s one last thing to take care of.” The unicorn pulled out a cheque and gave it to the cartwright. “Mr Roller, I can’t apologise enough for the trouble my former boss caused you.” “It’s not much, all things considered but hopefully it should cover the expenses for this trip and have some left over for your troubles.”

Heavy looked down at the cheque and his eyebrows rose a bit at the number of zeroes on it. “I’ll make sure it’s put to good use. Thank you.”

“Well I better get back to work,” Load Bearing stated. “Hopefully next time we meet, it will be under better circumstances.”

As the unicorn left, Heavy looked down at the cheque one last time before holding it out to Filthy. “You were actually the one that covered most of the costs for this adventure.”

“And I consider every bit of it well spent,” Filthy replied. “You were the reason we’re all here so you deserve that money.”
The cartwright looked around and saw the other three ponies nodding in agreement. Finally, he pocketed the cheque.

“Listen. I can’t thank you all enough for what you did.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Big Mac replied.

“I mean it, if there’s anything I can…”

“Seriously, don’t worry about it,” Notary interjected. “Big Mac made a massive payday collecting the bounty on Gelato and his crew, Filthy Rich was able to buy the Wall Flower Theatre for a song, no pun intended, and I managed to gain enough dirt on a few corrupt officials that it has made this trip more than worthwhile.”

“Sort of cheapening the moment, aren’t you?” Filthy asked.

“Would you rather he feel needlessly indebted to you?” Notary shot back.

“Point taken.”

“Wait,” Heavy cut in. “You bought the Wall Flower Theatre?!”

“Yes I did,” Filthy replied. “When I had been pretending to be Subtle Service, I slipped the theatre manager a card of the ‘client’ that had been looking to buy a theatre. With Load Bearing trying to unload wasteful assets, they got in touch and made me an offer.”

“What exactly are you going to do with it?” Cheerilee asked.

“It’s a theatre on Bridle Way. So long as it’s managed properly it will pay for itself in no time.” Filthy replied. “Though I was thinking of changing the name. Tell me, how does ‘Nocturne Theater’ sound?”

Heavy stared at Filthy. “You want to name the theatre after my wife?”

“Only if it’s alright with you.”

Heavy was silent for a moment. “Oh she would have hated that idea. She would say that a Royal Guard doesn’t do it for the recognition or glory and that if she was doing her job right, no pony should notice what she had done.” He paused for a moment. “If you change the name, could you also put up one of those commemorative plaques?”

“Of course,” Filthy said sincerely.

“Then I would be honored,” Heavy replied.

“Excellent, I’ll go take care of the necessary steps for the name change...and maybe go pick up a few gifts to take home. It was a pleasure working with you Miss Notary. The rest of you I’ll see back at Ponyville.”

At that the business stallion took his leave.

Heavy returned his attention to the remaining ponies.

“I know you want to downplay this, but I am really grateful for what you did. Especially you, Notary, you didn’t even know me and you still put your neck on the line.”

Notary shrugged.

“Even at my worst I still believed in making Equestria a better place. This trip feels like it was a step in the right direction.” She then developed a grin. “Though why are you still here? I have it on good authority you have a date to go get ready for.”

That piqued Cheerilee and Big Mac’s interest.

“Really?”

“It’s nothing,” Heavy said dismissively. “Turns out that Trigger Happy is a fan of my ‘Mr Magic’ days so when she found out who I was she offered to take me to dinner so we could discuss some of my alleged work. It’s nothing serious.”

“Well good for you,” Cheerilee said. “After all this you deserve a little fun.”

“Thanks,” Heavy noticed the time on a nearby clock. “Though Notary’s right. I should go get ready. Take care.”

With one last wave, Heavy Roller walked off.

“Think she’s gonna offer to take him out to breakfast too?” Cheerilee asked.

“Eeyup.”

Notary cleared her throat.

“Listen, while we started off on shaky ground I will admit that you were a critical part in the success of this mission.” She held out a hoof to the red stallion. “It was a pleasure working with you.”

Big Mac looked at the outstretched hoof. “Oh come here.” He pull the white mare in for a big hug. “We just took down a scumbag together, that makes us almost as good as family.” He released a somewhat stiff Notary when realisation struck. “Speaking of family, Aunt and Uncle Orange would skin me alive if they found out I came to Manehatten and didn’t stop by to say hello. Y’all have a safe trip back home.”

“Thanks,” the dazed mare replied. “You too.”

As Big Mac left and the shock wore off, Notary turned to Cheerilee.

“You certainly do keep some interesting friends.”

“The funny thing is that out of my friends, Big Mac is probably the least interesting,” the teacher replied. “So what’s this about you finding some dirt on some corrupt officials?”

“Turns out that Stone Wall was paying off some officials to look the other way,” Notary explained. “I found the names and financials to prove it.”

“And what do you plan to do with it?”

“Nothing, it was in the file Bear gave to the authorities,” Notary explained. “I’m out of the blackmailing game but the Princess wants the nobles to clean up their act, it’s only right that other officials also be held to the same standard.”

“Fair enough.”

After a moment of comfortable silence Notary let out an uncharacteristic chuckle.

“I have to admit, in hindsight this adventure was actually a lot of fun.”

“More fun than Niegh Orleans?” Cheerilee asked.

“Well I’ll actually remember this adventure,” Notary replied. “And this time I didn’t end up married to you.”

“See? That attitude is exactly why our marriage didn’t work out.”

The two mares burst into a fit of giggles.

Finally Notary spoke again. “You know, Stone Wall was bad but he’s not the only scumbag out there. The nobles are playing nice right now but there are still rich and powerful ponies that take whatever they want.”

“So what? You think we should assemble another team and go out into the world, conning the scumbags and helping the little guy?” Cheerilee asked, when Notary only gave a half shrug the teacher replied. “You know, the younger me would have jumped at the idea but the older me knows that we all have lives to get back to. Besides, a pony can only act dishonest for so long before they actually become dishonest.”

Notary sighed. “That’s true. I suppose I was wrapped up in the romance of it all, a group of loveable rogues using their talents to make the world a better place."

Cheerilee gave her a hug. "Oh Notary, there are a million ways a pony can make the world a better place. They don't need to be rogues to do it."

"That is true."

"And right now what would make my world a better place is if a friend would come join me for a quiet drink at this Jazz bar I’ve heard so much about."

Notary rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Alright but only one."


The late autumn sun shone brightly through the windows of Ponyville’s only wagon repair shop. It didn’t follow a conventional organization system but everything was where it needed to be.

Spare wagon wheels of various sizes are stacked within reach of both the wagon jack and where a small pulley winch on the ceiling is able lift the wagons up completely. To one side was a small forge to make new pins and wheel hoops. To the other was a workbench with carpentry tools, all placed in order of what they were usually used in order to fix a wagon.

Two wagons, both in need of some tender loving care, took up the main floor space. A third one, lacking wheels, was winched up in order to get at the springs.

And to the cartwright, the workshop never looked better.

Heavy Roller was busy preparing his tools for the day ahead when Scootaloo came racing in. “Hey Dad, I know you have a busy day today but could you take a look at my scooter? The back wheel is wobbling again.”

Heavy gave a small chuckle. Busy was an understatement. Funny things happen when the town’s only cartwright goes away for a week unexpectedly. He tends to come back with a pile of jobs waiting for him. The three wagons that were in the shop were just the ones that had been dropped in last night. He was expected at least another three to be dropped in today. Still, there was no way in Tartarus he was going to let his daughter loose on the town with a wobbly scooter.

“Sure I can. Park it up here and we’ll take a look.”

Scootaloo lifted up her scooter with a quick “thanks dad,” and Heavy got to work inspecting the scooter and making adjustments. Scootaloo at first was content watching her dad work until she noticed something. It was a photo that had fallen on the ground. She picked it up to have a closer look.

“Hey dad, is this you?”

Heavy looked up from the scooter and saw Scootaloo was holding a picture of Heavy back from his smuggling days. It was must have fallen out of the file Stone Wall had brought.

“Yeah,” Heavy admitted. “A long time ago.”

“I can’t believe you wore your mane like that.”

The cartwright raised an eyebrow. “This coming from the mare that hasn’t willingly gone near a brush in over two years.”

“Hey I brush my mane,” Scootaloo said defensively. “It just gets messed when I’m riding.”

Heavy just rolled his eyes as he took a closer look at the photo. He had never been ashamed of his Mr Magic days per se but as he got older he grew amazed at how dumb his younger self had been. Dumb name, dumb fashion sense, dumb attitude. He was a cocky little moron who thought that he was somehow smarter than the rest of the world and that he would never get caught. So out of touch with reality that it’s a miracle he hadn’t been caught sooner.

Still, when he looked down at the eager little filly standing beside him, he had to admit that maybe the moron had managed to get a few things right.

“Hey Scoots, did I ever tell you about how I met your mom?”