• Published 13th Feb 2014
  • 3,222 Views, 110 Comments

Six Standard Deviations from the Mean - ArtichokeLust



Dom was not the first human in Equestria. Some unsavory characters made it there before him roughly 2000 years ago. Now, if he wants to stay alive, he has to convince everypony that humans are not the evil creatures from their history books.

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9:00 AM

Dom and Clair walked nearer to the library. As they approached, they got uneasier, and Dom felt a sudden urge to turn and leave. Instead, they ended up walking around the tree a few times, gathering a few strange looks.

'...Maybe this was a bad idea...' Dom thought.
'I agree.' Clair thought hurriedly and started to leave.
But Dom's curiosity pulled him closer to the house.

Clair finally grabbed Dom and pulled him against the house. They slumped against the tree and sat side by side for a while, with their arms across each others backs, not talking or even thinking, just sharing emotions...

...

Clair watched her hand fade and come back to reality. With boredom and some curiosity, she pushed it against the ground as it faded. Then she let it come back against the ground... She didn't touch the ground with her faded arm, but once she tried to bring it back to reality, she felt a force pushing her back. It seemed like she would have to use as much force as normal to pierce the ground...

A thought came from Dom's mind. An old power puff girls episode from when he was a child, where one of the kids gained glue superpowers . When the power puff girls tried to attack, he just opened up a hole in his body and let them fly through.

Dom smirked. Testing it, he tried to move his arm through his chest. It worked...

Dom laughed. It was a laugh of extreme relief, and perhaps of some madness. He stood up and held his hand out for Clair to follow. She did.

Without a word, Clair concentrated. A hole appeared in her chest where the heart was previously drawn on her shirt. Dom reached through... his arm went straight through.

Testing, Clair tried to do the same. But as Dom tried to relax, Clairs chest came back into reality, and Dom's arm was pushed backwards just as much as Clair was.

...interesting...

Dom smirked. It would be a lot harder to hurt him now... Now he didn't have to fear...

Clair frowned, still unsure, but followed him to the door.

Dom knocked.


Twilight looked up from her books to the door.

"I'll get it!" Spike yelled and hopped to the door.

"Hello," Dom and Clair smiled cheerily to the pony and dragon.

"...hello..." Spike started walking away backwards, uneasy.

Twilight looked up from her books, "What do you want?" she sighed.

Clair and Dom looked hurt. They weren't even acting...

"I--" Clair struggled.

"We just wanted to thank you for staying by us at the hospital," he smiled. "It would have been much harder, staying at the hospital in a new town with no one by your side..." he frowned...

Twilight sighed and put down her book. "I know you want to convince every pony you're not evil, but your not fooling me." she stood up in challenge. "You humans live on nothing but lies, and I'll expose that to everypony!" She grimaced, "I'll keep everypony safe..."

Dom smirked internally. 'Oh, but I am fooling you.'

Dom smiled compassionately and keeled before Twilight to meet her at eye level. He sighed, "I apologize for my ancestor's actions. Humanity isn't perfect, nothing is... But you have nothing to fear from me..." He smiled as compassionately as he could.

Twilight looked into Dom's compassionate face, and suddenly found it hard to hate him. Suddenly, she felt guilty for her actions. She wanted to apologize, like she would to Celestia...

Celestia...

...Who had probably lived through the human war... It'd be like if Chrysalis won... Or if Sombra won...

"NO!" Twilight closed her eyes and shook her head. She fired a powerful beam of energy without meaning too. She opened her eyes in shock.

Dom's face had a large hole in it. He had a strange look of concentration on what was left of it.

Despite her hatred, Twilight ran up to catch his body from falling...

Did she...?

Did she really just...?

Twilight slipped her hooves under Dom's armpits and held him up as he leaned into her...

Was she just as bad as the humans now...?

...

"I'm getting mixed messages," Dom smirked.

Twilight jumped back, flying out of Dom's embrace.

"You--" Twilight gaped at him in rage, "You trickster!"

Dom's expression immediately changed to contempt, "Just because you didn't kill me doesn't mean you didn't try." Dom leaned in angrily, "What was that about?"

"But-- I--" Twilight stammered, too baffled to be angry anymore. "You-- You should be dead!" She stamped her hooves, "Was that entire time at the hospital just acting!? It was, wasn't it!"

Dom sighed, "I needed to find some way to defend myself after everything that happened..."

Twilight cringed and snarled, she had a few protests and insults in mind, but she couldn't really deny what he was saying... But there was something about him--something about the way he looked and moved--that gave her pause. She knew she couldn't trust him, and she knew it was because of something more than her general distrust for humans, but she didn't know why...

Dom sighed and got up.

"I don't know why, but if you're angry at me, I guess I'll leave then..." Dom frowned and turned around.

"Come on Clair," he said sadly, "we're not welcome."

Clair frowned sadly and gave up trying to calm the terrified dragon. She sighed and walked out the door with Dom...

Twilight looked at the door, more confused than ever now...

She tried to continue where she was in her book, but now she couldn't concentrate! Grah! She stamped her hooves. They ruined her studies! She was tricked!

...Or was she?

...She looked at the door...


Dom and Clair walked around Ponyville, thinking... 'Now who's next...'

'Cheerilee,' Clair thought, 'She's educated, and could be a powerful friend or foe.'
'Lyra,' Dom thought, 'it might be personal for her, but we could do what we did with Twilight...'
'Mayor Mare,' Clair thought, 'After all, she's the effing mayor!'
Rarity-- Dom blinked, Wait, we already did her... Dom scratched his chin... Applejack. This is a farming community.
Rainbow Dash, Clair thought, 'She's pretty popular, and she leads the weather team.'
Dom thought, scratching his chin some more... 'Granny Smith... Same reason as Applejack.'
'...I think that's--' Clair stopped and grinned slowly, 'Time Turner.'
'Oh!' Dom grinned like a child, 'That should be interesting...'
'Oh yeah,' Clair thought, 'And the historians. They should be at a hotel.'

Clair picked a scroll out of her pocket. It contained the addresses of several homes in Ponyville, some of them currently owned... (Ponies were surprisingly open to sharing their homes, at least in Ponyville. And Dom wanted to know where a few ponies lived when Clair was getting addresses.)


"Hello," Clair and Dom greeted Cheerily.

"Oh," Cheerilee stepped back from her doorstep bashfully, and perhaps somewhat fearfully, "...hello... What brings you here?"

"I wanted to see what education was like in Equestria," Dom grinned eagerly. "I was an avid student back home, and now I can learn from two worlds!"

Cheerilee slowly smiled and invited Dom in...

...

The stuff was mostly remedial at first. Then Dom tried teaching Cheerilee some of what he knew, it seemed she only knew mathematics up to differential equations... And everything other than mathematics was completely different between their cultures.

After an hour or so of trading knowledge, Dom left, saying he might be late for something.


Clair knocked on a door. This pony was last on the list, but she couldn't wait...

She waited...

And waited...

She slumped, "Of course it's empty..." she grumbled...


Dom and Clair knocked on the door to the apple family barn.

The door opened before they could finish knocking.

Apple Bloom looked up, "Hello mister and missus!" She beamed.

"Hello," Dom and Clair couldn't help but genuinely smile back, "Is Applejack there?"

"I'll go get her..." Apple Bloom trotted back into the front room, "APPLEJACK, GRANNY SMITH, BIG MAC, WE HAVE STRANGE VISITORS!"

Clair and Dom couldn't help but laugh.

"What?" Apple Bloom turned around.

Dom smiled, "You just reminded me of my family..." his smile slowly faded....

...


"Aw, shucks," Applejack said after listening to Dom's reason for visiting, "You didn't have to come and visit"

"But I wanted to!" Dom smiled back, "You and your friends stuck by my side in the hospital, when I had no friends in a completely new place..."

"Well," Applejack sighed, "To be honest, we were visiting Rainbow Dash. You were just in the same room... And didn't we attack you?"

All of Applejack's family glared at her.

"I- I mean... Uh... It's good to have friends in new places!" Applejack stuttered.

Dom shrugged, "Thanks." He smiled.


Clair knocked on the hotel door. Rosetta opened it.

Upon seeing the human, Rosetta shrank back in fear. But her ears tinted red once she remembered how she was comforted... She didn't know what to feel.

"Hey," Clair spoke softly, "I read a few history books, and I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what my ancestors did..." She frowned, "No race is perfect, and I'm sorry you got to see the worst of us."

Rosetta stood there, still confused. Was this another trick?

Clair walked away.


Clair and Dom found Lyra and BonBon resting on a bench.

Clair approached. She wasn't sure what she would say, but she would probably think of something...

Fortunately, she didn't need to.

"Oh hey!" Lyra perked up and hopped off the bench, "It's the human!" She ran up to hug Clair's abdomen.

"Um... Hi!" Clair said, happily surprised.

Lyra let go and fell back on four hooves. Then, noticing how much smaller she was than Clair, she stood up on her hind legs and looked up at her face. "Don't worry, ponies can be good and evil, just like humans." She smiled reassuringly, "And I'm sure you'll meet plenty of good ponies."

Clair stared down at Lyra, completely shocked at the utter reversal of her expectations. She didn't know what to say. She didn't even know what to think!

She gaped down at the pony. Her eyes seemed to be tearing up for some reason...

"Th-- Thanks..." Clair struggled to not cry, but failed when Lyra hugged her again...


Dom sat down in Mayor Mare's guest chair...

"Oh!" Mayor Mare looked up again and then moved back in surprised "Another human!"

Dom nodded, "I was just curious: are you a republican, or a democrat?"

Mayor Mare tilted her head. "A what or a what?"

Dom made himself comfortable in his chair. "Well, back where I come from..."


Dom and Clair yelled up at the giant hovering cloud.

"Hey!" Dom yelled.

"Rainbow Dash!" Clair yelled.

"Hey Rainbow Dash!" Dom yelled.

...

"Taste the Rainbow... Dash!" Clair yelled.

"Dash-tastic!" Dom yelled.

"A rainbow brightens every Dash!" Clair yelled.

"Skittles--" Dom yelled.

"WHAT!?" a voice bellowed from above.

"We just wanted to thank you for staying by us at the hospital!" Clair and Dom shouted in unison.

Rainbow Dash flew down...

"Uh..." She looked at them strangely, "You know I didn't really have a choice, right."

Clair tilted bashfully, "Well, you still made us feel better..."

Rainbow Dash blinked... and then slowly smiled.

"That's because a Rainbow brightens everypony's day!" She grinned.

"Don't you mean 'a Rainbow brightens every Dash'?" Dom chortled.

Clair and Dash gave him a strange look.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help it..." Dom apologized.

Rainbow Dash still raised an eyebrow at him.

"Your name goes with everything!" Dom laughed, "Rainbow Stache, Rainbow Mash, Rainbow Flash, Rainbow Cash--"

Rainbow put her hoof over Dom's mouth. She didn't need another nickname that reminded her of 'Rainbow Crash'.

"I got it," She deadpanned. Then she squinted at the pair, "How do you know my name anyway."

"Oh!" Clair pulled out the scroll, "I got this address book from the mayor."

Rainbow Dash gave Clair a strange look, "That's not creepy at all."

"I agree," Dom said, acting like he completely missed the sarcasm, "I'm so glad I found another pony that sees things my way."

Rainbow Dash stared at him, "That was sarcasm."

"What-chasm?" Dom repeated.

Rainbow Dash facehooved.

"Nah, I'm just messing with you. I don't really care if it's creepy or not." Dom laughed.

A wry smile slowly appeared on Rainbow Dash's face. They were playing tricks on her now, huh? Well, they were playing with the wrong mare!


"What time is it?" Dom asked.

Clair looked at the clock tower.

"Three-O-Clock" Clair answered.

"We better get to the auditorium..." Dom started hurrying. Then he remembered he didn't know where the auditorium was, or if the debate was even being held there. So he asked the nearest pony where the debate would be held...


Dom and Clair sat at the front of the seating. Very few ponies were there, some of them being Lyra (who waved at them happily when she noticed them looking around) and BonBon, Twilight and Spike, the three historians, Cheerilee, and Applejack.

There was plenty of time, so Clair and Dom walked over to Lyra and BonBon.

"Hey!" Lyra smiled.

Clair and Dom couldn't help but smile back, "hey." They sat down.

"So," Clair started, "...Why are you so... nice to us?"

Lyra tilter her head at them.

"I mean, I read a few history books, and--"

Lyra sighed, "And you found out about the origin of the Lyre?"

Clair gulped and nodded.

"Did you read about anything other than pony history?" Lyra asked.

Clair blinked.

Lyra sighed again, "For some reason there are no official books on the Griffin history of humans in any pony society. I know there are plenty of books in the Griffin empire about how important humans were to their history, and survival... I think there's a ban on such books in Equestria... probably to keep ponies angry and fearful of humans..." Lyra grimaced, "And it worked... When I first got my cutie-mark and did research on the instrument, I hated humans, and hated myself for being branded by something related to them..." She looked off into the distance, "But then I found a mention of the initial meeting of ponies and Griffins, and something seemed strange about it... After a few months, I realized it was that the Griffins were playing Lyres. Lyres were still human instruments at the time; it didn't make sense for the Griffins to play them if they weren't allies... So a few months later, during break, I traveled to Aviara. And I found this book there..."

Lyra used her magic to pull a huge dusty and well-read book out of her saddlebags on the floor in front of her chair. She didn't have tome to read the whole book to Clair, but she could show her a few of the important passages and pictures...

Author's Note:

Using Twilight as a test subject... Dom likes to live on the edge...