Poeni: An Ancient Breed

by DaBeejees

Chapter 5: Trollestia Strikes Again

I almost immediately came across some very good news, mainly about the cinnamon, but also one fact regarding the spikenard. Just one. Albeit rare, cinnamon trees can be found in the Everfree Forest. It seems that I might have seen some cinnamon trees while I was being chased by that dragon after all. On the flip side, however, I was still having extreme difficulty finding anything regarding spikenard. The one fact that I was able to find, however, is...interesting, to say the least. It's that the scent of spikenard is known to attract cats. Why? I have no fucking clue. It just does, and about three different sources confirmed that one fact. Unfortunately, that was the only fact that any source had about it.

At a loss to find any additional information regarding spikenard, I actually had decided to ask Spike if he had any fucking clue whatsoever. He didn't. Fortunately, however, he didn't ask me to explain anything. Most likely because he doesn't really care. Not that I blame him, because I don't. It seems that I would need to go to the Canterlot Archives if I wanted to find anything about it. However, I felt that since the Everfree Forest was just outside of Ponyville I should probably go there and gather some cinnamon. Yes, I realize that I said before that I should try to obtain the ingredients in as few trips as possible, and I still didn't know whether I could find spikenard in the Everfree Forest. I admit, it was more of a 'fuck it' sort of decision.

However, one could make the comparison of the Everfree Forest to the ponynet: not only is it a dangerous place, but it is more importantly a strange place. The forces of nature in the Everfree Forest are, ironically, unnatural. Thus, it would be too great a risk to venture there while looking for more than one ingredient. Far too great a risk. Furthermore, there was no way in hell that I would go into the Everfree Forest on my lonesome any time soon; I definitely didn't want to risk getting chased by a pissed-off dragon again. As a result, the terms of action that I had put together for the Everfree Forest were to go into the forest with several companions, gather only the amount of the ingredient required, and then get the fuck out of there.

I would repeat these points - verbatim - to Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash, both of whom had not only offered to accompany me into the Everfree Forest, but they also had offered - adamantly, I might add - to join me to wherever I might be required to travel, Zebravana included. I found that each Elements' reasoning for accompanying me was quite varied. In the case of Twilight Sparkle, I was not at all surprised. First, I knew that considering that I was a good friend of her mentor, she felt obligated to assist me in more-or-less anything I would require. As much as I would want it to be more of her choice, I knew all too well that the combination of her mindset and personality made her as stubborn as a mule -- no offense if you are one. Additionally, I knew that Twilight would more likely than not decide to go with me anyway, as she would come across plenty of things to "learn about". Rainbow Dash, on the other hoof, was undoubtedly a different story. When I had asked her, she claimed that it was for the adventure. I must admit, by the way, the combination of her body language and her total lack of hesitation, stuttering, etc. immediately confirmed that. I still can't help but feel there's more to it than that, though, yet I still can't jump to any conclusions. Conclusion-jumping never ends well, and the end result is never pretty. In fact, if you would like a comparison, the end result would make a hydra look like an incredibly hot date - when alcohol isn't involved, by the way. Regardless of her reasons, though, I am jubilant that that she is going along with me, though, particularly because she can use her wings, whereas I can't nearly say the same of mine. For now, though, it was time to gather some cinnamon, so Twilight, Rainbow Dash and I put together some supplies, informed the others of our intentions and planned whereabouts, and headed off into the Everfree Forest.

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As it turned out, we didn't even need the goddamn supplies, let alone have to prepare for the trip. Hell, it wasn't even a trip. There were about five cinnamon trees outside of the fucking forest!!! I was more pissed-off about the time we had wasted preparing for absolutely nothing. Oh well. It's just another convenience I guess. I just hope I don't run out of them any time soon. Anyway, next on the list was spikenard. And it was because of spikenard that I was now in the Canterlot Archives to research it.

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It's been three days. Three. Fucking. Days. My eyes were bloodshot, and I was straining to keep them open. Even though I don't require much sleep, that doesn't mean that I don't need to sleep at all. After three straight rises of Celestia's sun and of her sister's moon, I knew that I would have to submit to my exhaustion at some point in the upcoming future, especially considering that I had already more than doubled Twilight's personal best of consecutive time spent reading. Not to mention that Celestia's royal guards have started bringing me meals at regular intervals. Am I really this predictable? Meh, what do I care; it's free food.

I really should get some sleep, though. You know that if Vinyl Scratch goes out of her way to personally give you a signed record in an attempt to distract you that you really must be in a bad state. Unfortunately for the disc jockey mare, however, her attempt was mostly in vain. Mostly. It did distract me somewhat, albeit not for very long. First off, as she always has, Vinyl knew my musical fetish: classic rock and the awesome eighties. Damn her! I immediately put it on, as I had long been sick of the silence. What distracted me more, however, was how cream-coated DJ had managed to fit over 100 songs on a single record.

I never knew that records could be used like mix tapes. But then again, mix tapes can't hold nearly that many songs. But hell, how can the record have enough grooves in it for that many songs, anyway--...fuck it. Magic. Problem solved. End thought train. Back to reading. Sweet Celestia, I feel like I'm turning into Twilight...

What had been making me resist the enticing desire to pay my friend Kirby a visit was the dissatisfaction with myself resulting from not finding anything about cassia! Well, at least I was able to find a brief mention of myrrh! Even if it wasn't from a very reliable source...

(Insert fade-in flashback chimes here)

"Hee hee...it's a pop-up! Hee hee!"

(Insert fade-out flashback chimes here)

Yup. Not very reliable. At least I'm easily amused, though. I don't know how I would've lived this long if I wasn't...actually, scratch that. I do know, but that's a story not yet ready to be told.

I looked over at Poeni, who had put together a make-shift nest out of a pile of already-read books. She was asleep, cooing softly with each exhale. It was cute, but not as cute as Fluttershy when she fell asleep while helping Twilight and I with research just last week. Her sleeping was so damn cute that neither of us could at all focus.

I should probably follow her lead, I thought as I slowly started to close my eyes...

"Briar!"

Whelp. So much for that.

"Present! How may I be of assistance?" I sarcastically called back to my unknown disturber; I was far too drowsy to be able to recognize whoever voice it was. Once the voice's owner came into view, however, I gave her an unamused glare.

"I...woke you up, didn't I?"

"Not...quite, Twilight; I only got my eyes halfway closed," I retort, spitting out the last two words more sharply than I would have liked.

"Oh...sorry," Twilight managed to say, chuckling nervously, "but I found something on cassia..."

I immediately jolted to attention. So much for sleeping, too, I guess. Without thinking, I picked up the nearest book and chucked it at the record player, perfectly knocking the needle off of the vinyl disc. Even if you give me a thousand more opportunities, I highly doubt that I could ever be that accurate again.

"Where? How? Tell me now!" I exclaimed, disregarding my rhyme, but also startling Twilight in the process.

"Um...just follow me," she managed, after recovering from my sudden outburst.

I obliged and followed her into the throne room...where something promptly hit me in the face. After gravity pulled what ever had hit me to the ground, I found myself looking straight at the Princess.

"You mad, Briar?" the Princess taunted, bearing a maniacal grin.

I slowly looked down at hat had hit me: it was a medium-sized pouch. And, when I looked inside...

"Yes, I am mad," I stated slowly but sharply as I slowly looked back up at the Princess, whose grin was even more maniacal than before.

"Oh, you are?" she retorted, "I thought you would be happy that I had some raw cassia roots to give you."

Trollestia strikes again.

"I'm mad that I didn't ask you before I doubled Twilight's non-stop reading record," I explained.

"You did?!" exclaimed the unicorn in question.

"You underestimate me, Sparkles," I replied, not averting my unamused gaze from the Princess. I saw Twilight facehoof with my peripheral vision; she didn't like the nickname 'Sparkles' all too much, but she sucked it up because she knew me well enough to know that I could easily come up with something much worse, such as 'Edward'.

Without any warning, Trollestia was replaced by a very serious Princess Celestia; I immediately knew what was going to be taking place next, and I immediately grew just as serious, just as quickly.

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