Prompt-A-Day Collection II: Prompt's Revenge

by Admiral Biscuit

11: Muffin-o-Matic

Muffin-O-Matic
Admiral Biscuit

She’d saved up for years to afford it. It was important to have a goal to work towards, after all. Sometimes when the stress of the mail route had been just a little too much to take, or Dinky had hoof-painted all over the living room walls, it was nice to go into her bedroom, close the door, and take out the jar of bits, pour them over the dresser, and count them, one-by-one.

Then came the magical day when she finally had enough bits. As soon as she got out of work, she took her jar and carefully set it in her saddlebags. She practically galloped through town, so eager was she to get to the small, out-of-the-way shop at the far end of Stirrup Street.

The shop was ill-lit, and very cluttered. The ancient unicorn who ran the store didn’t believe in attracting ponies with a modern shop; instead he catered to a very particular type of pony who was more interested in selection than presentation. Every single one of his trinkets—for that’s what they were—had been hoof and horn made by him, and each one of them could be personalized. Within reason.

Mail deliveries to his shop were not unheard of, and it was that which had brought Derpy in for the first time. An oddly-shaped box had to be signed for personally. He insisted on opening it and inspecting the contents right in front of her.

It was a self-playing crystal-powered ukulele. He explained that the owner had requested that he add a few new songs to its repertoire, and he was more than happy to do so. Naturally, one thing led to another, and before too long, he showed her The Box.

To him, of course, it wasn’t capitalized. It was just another thing he had made, no more interesting than any other. Certainly, it didn’t have the aesthetic appeal of one of his music boxes, or the utility of his self-heating soup pot. The box, in fact, was simple slabs of pine, neatly dovetailed together. A lid closed over the top, and that was that. Painted neatly on the side was a single word: “Fetcher.”

“Hey, what does this do?”

He looked up at her, squinting with his good eye. “It duplicates something.”

“Anything?”

He shook his head. It would not duplicate inorganic material at all, so you couldn’t make it generate bit coins or jewels. Such things did exist, of course, but they were not legal to possess or sell. It could replicate simple life, although they possessed little to no intelligence. Naturally, items were limited in size, too—if they would not fit in the box, they could not be duplicated. Finally, it could only be set once. Henceforth, it would make but one item, replacing it whenever the box was emptied.

Just then—as if the hoof of fate had touched her—Derpy’s stomach rumbled.

---

The Fetcher sat unused for a week. It was carefully locked away, lest an inquisitive filly put something in it and close the lid. Derpy spent this time tweaking her muffin recipe. Finally, the day arrived when she was satisfied that she had made the perfect batch of muffins, and without wasting any time, she took the absolute best muffin—still warm from the oven—put it in the box, and closed the lid.

When she re-opened the lid five minutes later, the muffin was still there. A little cooler than it had been, but no less enticing. With trembling hooves, she lifted it out of the box and gently set it on a plate. No sooner had she done so than a second muffin appeared in the box with a faint green flash. It was just a touch warmer than the sample muffin: apparently heat was one of the qualities the box duplicated flawlessly.

Derpy petted the box reverently. This was going to make her mornings so much better. No longer would she have to get up early and make fresh muffins, or re-heat yesterday’s in the oven. She could just pop the lid open, and out would come a fresh, warm muffin. She set it carefully in the kitchen cupboard.

As planned, the next morning a batch of fresh, warm muffins came out of the box—one for her, one for Dinky, and one for Sparkler, and another one for her. And the morning after that, and the morning after that, and the morning after that, and the morning after that. She was able to sleep in just a little bit later, which meant she could play with Dinky just a little longer the night before, and still have some ‘mare time’ with Sparkler after Dinky had gone to bed. All in all, the handy little Duplicator was saving her nearly a half-hour each day, and while that may not seem like a lot, that adds up to about 180 hours a year, which everypony knows is one full week . . . and that is a lot.

Everything was just perfect.

---

Derpy slowly opened her eyes. A small pair of hooves was shaking her.

“Mommy, mommy, wake up!”

“Dinky? The sun’s hardly up, and it’s a weekend. What are you doing up so early?”

“I was going to make you breakfast.” Dinky started crying. “But . . . something went wrong.”

Derpy jumped out of bed in alarm. “The stove isn’t on fire again, is it?”

Dinky shook her head.

“Nothing else is on fire?”

“No, but—”

“And you’re not hurt, are you?”

“No. But I kind of made a mess. . . .”

“Aww.” Derpy rubbed Dinky’s mane. “We all make messes. It’s nothing to cry about. Did you spill something?”

Dinky nodded slowly. “Kinda.” She took a deep breath. “I opened the kitchen cupboard all by myself and tried to get the oatmeal down but knocked over a box that was in the cupboard and all of a sudden muffins started pouring out of the cupboard and I dropped the oatmeal and slammed the door shut but I couldn’t hold it and it came open and more and more muffins came out and were falling all over the place and I couldn’t get into the cupboard any more and by the time I got Sparkler the whole kitchen was up to my neck in muffins and she’s holding the door shut but we don’t know how to make it stop.”

Derpy’s eye twitched.

Author's Note:

Prompt: You wake up, everything's normal, when suddenly, walking into your kitchen, there are muffins everywhere.

As always, check out this LINK for the associated blog post.

Comments

[Talon and Thorn]

Aww! The reason she wants the muffin-o-matic is so sweet, getting to spend more time with her kids.

[Admiral Biscuit]

5155087
She's the best mother.
fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/024/7/0/derpy_and_dinky_by_robsa990-d5smm5x.png

[pottedllama]

Ladies and gentlemen, the Muffinpocalypse.