Whenever there's trouble, there's always a Silver Lining

by the silver-maned pony

Chp 9: Hearts and Hooves Day part 2

Author's Note:

FINALLY!

Rarity sighed as she held the tight pants next to a ruler, “I am truly sorry, Silver. I should have taken proper measurements than guess like an amateur.”

“It’s not your fault.” Spike said reassuringly, “It’s probably because Silver got fatter, which is why your measurements were off. Isn’t that right, Silver?”

The baby dragon turned to the human, who was slowly crawling to the door. Rarity noticed him and said, “Are you alright, darling?”

“I’m fine.” Silver wheezed, “I’m just going to let myself out.”

“Are you sure, man?” Spike said, “I’m not an expert on humans, but I don’t think your legs are supposed to look like that?”

“It’s okay.” Silver said painfully, “I’ll just walk it off.”

“Can you even walk?” Rarity asked, “Let me help you-”

“That’s okay!” Silver said, slightly fearfully, “I got this.” He reached the door and flopped against it to open it, “Thanks for the pants, Rarity. See ya.” Silver crawled out of the boutique and somehow managed to close it behind him. As he crawled away, he ignored the gasp from ponies who glanced at his legs.

“Don’t look. Don’t look.” Silver repeated. He did everything he could to ignore looking at the state of his legs, and the looks ponies gave him didn’t reassure him. It was then that he heard a high pitched scream. He turned to see where the scream came from, but his view was blocked by his foot.

All the blood drained from Silver’s face, “What-the-hell?!” he said weakly. Then his other foot somehow managed to appear on his other side. Before he could cry out in fright, he suddenly got the sensation back in his legs and he could feel them twist and turn in all directions.

“Okay God, I’m sorry!” Silver shouted as he pounded his head against the ground to ignore the pain in his legs. It didn’t help, “I’m sorry that I ever used your name in vain!”

“I’m sorry, but who’s God?” Somepony said. Silver then realized that he recognized that soft spoken voice, “Fluttershy, is that you?”

“Yes, and I think you should get up because ponies are starting to stare.”

Silver slowly tried to move his legs and he was glad to be able to feel them again, “Thank you so much, Fluttershy. I had no idea you had crazy chiropractor power.” Silver got up and turned to smile at the pegasus, but he was met with a strange sight, “Um, why are you wearing those ridiculous sunglasses and giant hat? And what’s with that saddlebag? You could fit a filly in that thing.”

“This is my disguise.” Fluttershy said, slightly disappointed that her disguise didn’t work.

“Why do you want to disguise yourself?”

To answer, Fluttershy opened her saddlebag, which was bulging with what Silver presumed were love letters.

Silver whistled at the small mound of paper, “Well, aren’t you a stallion eater.”

“I don’t mean to.” Fluttershy said guiltily, “But every Hearts and Hooves Day, I always get my mail box filled with letters.”

“What’s the problem then?” Silver asked curiously, “I mean I wouldn’t mind if someone would send me a card on Hearts and Hooves Day.”

Fluttershy blushed, “Well, I’m just not interested in anypony at the moment, and I don’t want to hurt anypony’s feelings.”

“I’m sure these stallions will understand.” Silver said as he took a letter at random, “Let’s see; this one is from somepony called, ‘Bright Shadow’. That is totally not a cliché.” Silver read the letter aloud, “’Dear Fluttershy, I’m writing this as a way of thanking you for always making my day with your smile. Sincerely, your loving shadow. XOXO’. Do you know this pony?”

“I don’t know any of these ponies.”

“Then this guy is a loving stalker. But seriously, you should tell these ponies you’re just not interested. I mean, it isn’t exactly kind to string these guys along.”

“I know.” Fluttershy said miserably, “I was taking these letters to the post office to return them, but I can’t think of anything to say to let them know.”

Silver mused for a while, trying to think of an idea to help Fluttershy. He turned around to the town square when he noticed something,

“Hey, Fluttershy,” he said slowly, “is it just me, or are there a lot of stallions pointedly not looking at us?”

Fluttershy turned to where Silver was looking and also saw a lot of stallions trying to look everywhere except where the shy pegasus was standing.

“Five bits says that those are your admirers.” The human said.

Fluttershy took a shaky breath, “What do I tell them?” Silver turned back to Fluttershy and noted that she looked visibly nervous about talking to the stallions. Never had he met anyone so shy.

Silver sighed, “Do you trust me?”

Fluttershy’s eyes widened worriedly, “You’re not going to roughly push them away, are you?”

“What?! No! What?! That was a one-time thing…probably. Anyways, just follow my lead.”

“Okay, I trust you. What are we going to do?”

“We’re about to rustle a lot of jimmies.” Silver said with a grin. He then took Fluttershy’s hoof and walked to the center of town.

The effects were almost instantaneous. Every single stallion that wasn’t on a date gasped when they saw Silver and Fluttershy holding hooves and walking together. A couple of them screamed ferociously before stomping away while others wept loudly before running away. Most of them just accepted gracefully before walking away.

“Looks like the plan worked.” Silver said, letting go of Fluttershy, “I honestly thought it would have ended with me in a body bag.” Silver turned to Fluttershy, who looked worriedly at the human’s morbid statement, “A word of caution; if you don’t want to stallions to be all over you, then you shouldn’t be so adorable.”

Fluttershy blushed, “I’m sorry.”

Silver sighed, “You are so lucky I’m mostly interested in human women with a backbone.” He then took out a bouquet of roses out of hammer-space, “Here you go. Don’t worry, I’m not about to start following you everywhere. I’m giving roses to all my friends.”

“Thank you for everything.” Fluttershy said with a smile as she took the roses, “By the way, Pinkie Pie is at Sugarcube Corner, if you want to give her the roses too.” Silver thanked Fluttershy again before making his way to his next Hearts and Hooves Day target.
________________________________________
Sugarcube Corner was packed with dates. The walls were decorated with red streamers, red confetti, red everything. There were a number of small coffee tables with candles and roses. The ceilings were decorated with red lamps that added to the romantic atmosphere. Strangely enough, there was no sign of anything pink.

Silver walked into the shop and couldn’t help but feel out of place; he seemed to be the only single person there.

“Hiya, Silver!” Pinkie Pie said as soon as the human entered. The pony was dressed in a red archer outfit, complete with bow and arrows, and she had white wings on her back.

“What’s with the outfit?” Silver asked curiously. To answer, Pinkie took the bow, readied an arrow, and fired in the general direction of the customers. The arrow whizzed through the air before finding its mark,

“MY EYE!” somepony yelled.

“That’s the sound of love.” Pinkie said sweetly.

“OH CELESTIA! IT HURTS SO MUCH!”

“May God have mercy on your lover.” Silver said nonchalantly as the random pony continued to whine in pain.

Pinkie laughed, “You’re funny. You always say random things.”

“Coming from you, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

It was then that the flames in one of the red lamps flickered before it went out.

“Shoot!” Pinkie said at the sight of the extinguished lamp, “Silver, do you mind relighting the lamp? Aside from being cupid, I’m also the waiter for these ponies.”

Silver eyeballed the distance between the floor and the lamp before nodding, “Sure.”

“Thank you!” Pinkie said as disappeared for a second before reappearing with a ladder, “Good luck!” She went back to the customers as Silver walked to the ladder when he gulped loudly. He was okay with heights; it was the idea of falling that terrified him.

Taking a deep breath, Silver started to climb the ladder. He was halfway up when the ladder gave a sudden jerk, causing him to shout in fright. Luckily, nopony seemed to notice, so he continued, though more slowly. Silver then began to wonder why he was stupid enough to do something that involved his fear. He reached the top when he realized that he had nothing to light the lantern with.

“Hey, Pinkie!” he called, “Do you have any matches?”

“Yes indeedy!” Pinkie said, suddenly appearing on the other side of the ladder. This caused the human to reel back in surprise, which was a bad idea on a ladder,

“Crap, crap, crap!” Silver cried as he flailed his arms in desperation. Luckily, the flailing somehow managed to get him balanced again.

“Are you okay?” Pinkie asked as the human took the matches.

“Y-yeah.” Silver said, his entire body shaking. It took several attempts for him to light a match.

“Are you sure? Because you’re shaking more than when Gummy heard he couldn’t eat anymore cupcakes for the day.”

“I’d just rather not stay on this death trap any longer than I have to.” the human said nervously as he lit the lantern. After he lit it, Silver took a step down when his feet slipped.

Silver lost his footing and started to fall. He closed his eyes, braced for impact, and yelled in fright. Right before he hit the floor, Pinkie caught him and held him as he continued to scream.

Pinkie giggled, “Silver, stop being silly. You’re safe now.”

Silver opened his eyes and stopped screaming, “I’m alive!” he then gave the party pony a tight hug, “Thank you so much!”

He held her for a while longer until he realized that ponies were staring. And by staring, it meant that many of them smiled sweetly at what appeared to be a lover’s embrace.

Silver stood up and cleared his throat, “Thank you for the assistance.” He said formally. He thought about leaving, but he still had something to do. Not caring of what the other ponies thought. He made the bouquet of roses appear and handed them to Pinkie, “Here you go.”

The surrounding ponies all d’awed at the sight. Pinkie giggled, “Thanks!”

She then took a large bite out of the bouquet, “Mmm! They’re good!” she said through a mouthful of flower. Not feeling the need to explain how the gesture was platonic, Silver shrugged and walked out of Sugarcube Corner.

…

“WHY HASN’T ANYPONY GONE TO GET ME HELP?! MY EYE IS BLEEDING!”
________________________________________
Twilight was having fun reorganizing the library. As she was re-shelving modern literature, there was a knock at the door. The unicorn walked to the door and opened it, revealing a gray pegasus on the other side.

“Hi, Derpy.” Twilight said, “What brings you around?”

Derpy shifted uncomfortably, “Um, I need to tell you something.”

“Yes?”

Derpy looked at Twilight’s smiling face and moaned sadly.

The unicorn tilted her head sideways, “Derpy, what’s wrong?”

The pegasus took a deep breath and shouted, “Your coltfriend is cheating on you!”

…

“What?” Twilight asked confusedly.

Derpy sighed, “I heard your coltfriend and Rarity making…noises!”

Twilight blinked, “Derpy, I don’t have a coltfriend, and I didn’t need to know that much about Rarity’s life.”

It was Derpy’s turn to look confused, “Isn’t you coltfriend Silver Lining?”

Twilight was silent for a second before she roared with laughter, “Silver as my coltfriend?!” Twilight continued to laugh, “Sorry Derpy, but Silver will never be my coltfriend, and I doubt that he and Rarity were making the type of noises you were thinking of.”

Derpy looked relieved, “I’m so happy he didn’t cheat on you. I guess I should tell everypony else.”

Twilight stopped laughing, “Who did you tell?”

“Well, I told all of the single mares in Ponyville because they weren’t busy dating. A lot of them were cheated on, so they were eager to teach Silver something, but I forget what.”

Twilight’s jaw dropped at this new information. Derpy smiled, “Well, I’m glad this was just a big misunderstanding. See you around, Twilight.” And with that, the gray pegasus flew away. Twilight stood at the doorway for a couple more seconds and decided that she would just be overreacting if she went running around town. She sighed and returned back to her re-shelving.
________________________________________
Rainbow Dash was circling town hall as she placed clouds close to the ground. She then place other clouds a couple of meters above the clouds she had already placed. On the ground was Silver, who was telling Dash where to place the clouds.

“Are you sure this is gonna work?” Dash asked as she placed the last pair of clouds in their position.

“I’m pretty sure.” Silver said as he looked at his experiment, “Alright Dash, fire it up!”

The pegasus grinned as she kicked one of the clouds above repeatedly. The cloud began to rain heavily, but the water was caught by the cloud below it. Dash landed next to Silver and they saw a rainbow was created in between the two clouds.

“That’s so cool.” Rainbow said. She turned to the human, “How the hay did you know that would happen?”

Silver shrugged, “It’s basic physics from my land being horribly butchered by Equestria’s laws of physics.”

“Whatever you say. All I know is that I’m getting that Hearts and Hooves Day bonus for making Ponyville more romantic and stuff.”

“And you’ll give me half of that bonus for helping you, right?” Silver said.

“I’ll give you ten percent of my bonus.” Dash said shrewdly.

“Make it forty percent.”

“Fifteen percent.”

“Thirty percent.”

“Twenty percent.”

Silver sighed, “Deal.”

Dash grinned, “I always win.”

“I kind of don’t want to give them to you now, but whatever.” Silver said.

Dash turned away from the rainbow and toward Silver, “Give me what?”

The human pulled out the roses from somewhere and gave them to Dash. The pegasus saw the roses and immediately backed away, “Whoa there, buddy. I know you must think I’m amazing, but I’m just not interested.”

“Don’t flatter yourself too much, Dash. I’m giving you these as a friend.”

“I don’t know.” Dash said slowly, “I could be giving you the wrong message.”

“Just take the damn flowers.”

“Well aren’t you smooth.” Dash said sarcastically as she took the bouquet.

“AHA!” somepony shouted, startling the two, “We caught you in the act!”

Silver and Dash turned to see a mob of angry looking mares trotting toward them. The mob was just like the ones Silver saw on T.V. They had pitchforks, torches, and he was pretty sure he saw a noose somewhere. The mare leading the group, a green earth pony with untidy red hair, walked up to Silver and slapped him on the side of his stomach, which was probably where his pony head appeared to be.

“Um, ouch?” Silver said uncertainly.

“What was that for?” Dash asked the mare.

The earth pony scoffed and gestured to the mob; “My associates and I have business to deal with this…vile cretin!” she finished disdainfully.

“Hey!” Silver said indignantly, “Now I may be a lot of things, most of them bad, but I doubt I’m a cretin. Maybe a jackass, but that’s as low as I’ll go…today.”

“Don’t try to make us feel pity for you.” The mare said as her mob glared hatefully, “Stallions like you disgust us. You think you own the world and that you can bounce from mare to mare without a care in the world.”

Silver blinked, “Um, if that’s your definition of a stallion, then I’m a mare.”

“Oh, so you’re saying that mares aren’t allowed to be like stallions because we’re inferior.”

“No-what-no!” Silver said, “How did you even get that from what I said?”

Rainbow chuckled as she turned to the human, “Okay, I’d better settle this before you get your face stomped out.” She turned to the angry mob, “Alright, listen up. Now, I can safely say that Silver is the furthest thing from a ‘sugar daddy’. I mean, when I first met him, he was so wimpy that I thought he played for the same team.”

“Thanks for that vote of confidence.” Silver said grudgingly.

The leader of the mob looked at Dash closely, “You’re Rainbow Dash, yes?”

“The one and only.” The pegasus said proudly.

“And you’re friends with Twilight Sparkle?”

“Yep.”

“Well then,” the leader said with a wicked smile, “I think you would want to know that that stallion is in a relationship with Twilight, and that he cheated on her.”

The gears in Dash’s head slowly turned in her head and she turned to Silver, “With who?” She said dangerously.

The leader looked pleased, “He cheated on your friend with all of your other friends.”

It was then that Silver felt a sudden chill down his spine. All he could think of was that Dash was an athlete and the element of loyalty, and that she was mad at him for cheating on her friend with her other friends.

Silver sighed, “Okay, but before you all go all Hostel on me, I just need to know one thing.” He turned his head to the mob of angry mares, “How the hell does a feminist group even exist in this town when females are the one that make up the dominant majority?”
________________________________________
Two hours later
Twilight placed the last book on her shelf and stepped back to admire her work, “Another successful re-shelving day.” She said proudly, “I just wish I could do this more often.” She paused for a moment, “Wait a second…”

As she contemplated her schedule, the door to the library burst open and Rainbow Dash strutted in. Twilight turned to the newcomer, “Hi, Rainbow. What brings you here? And why do you look so pleased?” she added when she saw the pegasus’s face.

“I just helped out a friend.” Dash said proudly as she patted the unicorn’s head, “You don’t need to worry your nerdy little head about that idiot anymore.”

Twilight looked curiously at Dash, “What are you talking about?”

“All I’m saying that it’s taken care of.” Rainbow said pleasantly, “Silver won’t be making that mistake again.”

Twilight sighed, “What did he do now?”

Dash scoffed, “He cheated on his special somepony. He really was an idiot.”

“He had a special somepony?” Twilight said, sounding intrigued, “I can’t believe he didn’t tell me. Who was she? Or he?”

Dash looked confused, “Um, you, right?”

Twilight’s mouth hung open and then she said slowly, “Dash, I was never Silver’s special somepony. Now, what did you do to my student?”

Dash looked anxious, “Um, yeah, you better come with me.”
________________________________________
Twilight and Dashed raced through Ponyville until they reached Sweet Apple Acres. After a couple of minutes running past trees, they reached a large apple tree where they found Silver, bound, gagged, and hanging by his legs from a tree branch. He clothes, hair, and face were a complete mess, as though he was thrown off a cliff.

“Oh my Celestia!” Twilight cried, “What did you do to him, Dash?!”

“Hey, it was the other mares that did all of this.” Rainbow said defensively, “All I did was tie him to the tree, and I also kind of hit him with a stick as if he was a piñata.” She added with a nervous chuckle. The pegasus flew up and began to untie the rope hanging the human, who crashed to the ground after Dash was done.

Twilight slowly stepped toward her unconscious student, “Silver, are you okay?” She poked him and he stirred awake.

“See, he’s alright.” Dash said, trying to reassure herself as well as Twilight.

Silver muttered something incomprehensible. Twilight and Dash looked at each other worriedly. They leaned forward and Silver groaned, “Rainbow…Dash…”

“Hey, um, buddy.” Dash said, rubbing the back of her head uncomfortably and smiling awkwardly, “How’s it going? Hey, just to let you know, I’m glad that you’re okay.”

Silver slowly lifted his head to look at Dash. With all of his strength he mustered the best scowl he could make, and said softly, “You…bastard…” and he planted his face back to the ground.

Twilight and Dash stood in silence as they stared at Silver. Dash then turned to Twilight and said, “I think he forgives me.”

Comments

[Hurgusburgus]

That last line... x'D

Also.

Twilight’s jaws dropped at this new information.

>jaws

das wut

[dukesofhazzardftw]

He should have said "you bastard, im gonna kill you!"

[the silver-maned pony]

4164887
Thanks

Also, fixed. And Twilight does need all of those jaws for eating
iambrony.dget.cc/mlp/gif/336491__safe_twilight%252Bsparkle_animated_vore_a%252Bcanterlot%252Bwedding_bird_soft%252Bvore_low%252Bquality_omnivore%252Btwilight_regurgitation_twilight%252Beats%252Ba%252Bbird.gif

[the silver-maned pony]

4165064
Thanks
He would have said that, but he was too tired to finish his sentence.

[dukesofhazzardftw]

4165125 when he wakes up he should finish it.
What did I do?
You tied him to a tree and beat the fucking bagels out of him... THATS what!

[Xzaves]

4164887 Twilight is really a Sanghelli

[Hurgusburgus]

4165116 oh gawd
4165915 [oh gawd intensifies]