Chp 8: Hearts and Hooves Day part 1
It was such a nice day in Ponyville. The birds were singing, the air smelled so sweet, and the entire town was decorated in red for Hearts and Hooves Day. Ponies were standing near the town square, waiting for their dates, while stalls were being set up for the dates that were sure to come by. The Ponyville Library was also decorated for the festivities; the leaves were magically colored to red and pink, and the windows were morphed into heart-shaped ones.
Inside the library, Twilight was sleeping comfortingly in her bed. All of a sudden, her eyes burst opened and she sat up straight,
“What time is it?” she thought aloud. She turned to her bedside clock and was surprised that it was already 9:00 am; she usually got up two hours earlier. She examined her clock and theorized that somepony must have tampered with the alarms. After a second of thinking she knew the culprit, or culprits.
“Spike! Silver!” she called loudly, “Get in here!”
She then heard noises right behind her bedroom door. It seemed that the two boys were about to enter her room before she woke up.
“Now what?” said the voice that Twilight knew was Spike’s.
“What do you mean? We stick to the plan.” Said the voice that was undoubtedly Silver’s.
“But I thought Twilight was supposed to be asleep.”
“Not necessarily. Come on.”
Twilight tensed; whatever prank they were going to play, she was ready. The door opened and Twilight’s horn glowed. Silver stepped inside,
“Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, Twilight-sama!”
Twilight blinked and her horn stopped glowing. She sat on her bed while Silver carried a breakfast tray into her room and placed it on her lap.
“Um, Silver, what is this?” Twilight said, slightly bemused. She stared at the tray and saw it was stacked with pancakes, toast, oatmeal, and orange juice.
“Well, first off,” Silver said as Spike also entered the room, “Why didn’t you tell me it was Hearts and Hooves Day?”
“Well, I was going to teach you about it today.”
The human sighed, “Of course; only you could make a holiday into a lesson.”
“How did you know that today was Hearts and Hooves Day?”
“Spike.” Silver said, gesturing to the baby dragon, “He wanted me to tell him some human romance advice that would get him closer to Rarity.”
“Silver!” Spike cried, “I told you that in bro confidence.”
“I don’t even know what that means.” Silver said, as though it would explain everything, “Anyways, I told him about making Rarity breakfast in bed. Then he explained to me that he was doing it for Hearts and Hooves Day. Fun fact, humans also have a day exactly like this called Valentine’s Day. So, I decided to take part in the festivities. I got up at 5 am and cooked you breakfast.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow, “You were cooking breakfast for four hours?”
“Actually,” Spike said, strangely smug like, “He was cooking terribly for two hours. Silver woke me up and asked for my help because he can’t cook to save his life.”
“Hey,” Silver said indignantly, “that’s not true. I made the orange juice.”
“And that’s the only thing he made. He snuck into your room and stopped your alarm to get me time to make your breakfast.”
“But since it was my idea, I get full credit.” Silver added.
“Thank you, both of you.” Twilight said, giving the two boys a hug.
“No problem.” Spike said, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to Rarity’s.” and without further ado, Spike skipped merely out of the room and out of the library.
“So,” Silver said, “I think I’ll leave you to your breakfast. If you need me, I’ll be doing some H and H Day shenanigans.”
“But what about the lesson?” Twilight said earnestly.
“Come on, Twilight. Let’s just skip today’s lesson. Besides,” Silver said, giving Twilight a sly smile, “I think you’d rather enjoy yourself with that special somepony.”
Twilight looked confused, “What are you talking about?”
Silver blinked twice, “What do you mean what am I talking about? A pegasus with blue hair? Orange coat? Plays guitar? Ring any bells?”
Twilight just stared at Silver with a very confused look.
“Angel lied to me.” Silver said irritably.
“Who’s Angel?”
“A liar.”
“Um, okay then. Anyways, if you want, go out and enjoy yourself. Besides, today is re-shelving day!” she added excitingly.
“That is so adorkable.” Silver gushed, “I’ll leave you to it, but first…”
Silver looked at Twilight and pulled back the sleeves of his standard black sweater. He then did a lot of weird and spastic arm movements. After a couple of seconds, he stopped moving his arms and he had a bouquet of roses in his hands.
“For you, mentor.” Silver said, handing the flowers to Twilight. Silver silently thanked cartoon logic because he had no idea where the flowers came from. He just winged it.
Twilight took the flowers and then looked at the breakfast tray, “Um, Silver…?”
“Yep?”
“Um, listen,” she said awkwardly, “I understand that there are times where a pupil has high respect for his mentor. And that the respect can turn into something more-”
“Twilight, stop talking.” Silver deadpanned, “Why can’t a guy just do something for his female friend on Hearts and Hooves Day without it being weird?”
Twilight blushed deeply, “I-I didn’t mean anything-”
Silver smiled, “Chill, Twilight it’s all good. Enjoy re-shelving.”
And with that, Silver skipped outside of the library. Twilight chuckled to herself. She reached for the orange juice on her tray and drank it, only to start choking on a seed.
________________________________________
Silver walked around Ponyville, taking in the sights. It has been over a week since his trip to Manehattan, and since then, he has felt more comfortable of leaving the library. He has explored all around the town, but he still didn’t want to leave to explore the world. Not yet, at least.
Ponyville was now active with H and H Day fun. There were dates walking about and stands that sold sweets for the dates. A couple of ponies that recognized Silver waved at him and he waved back. The human still didn’t have any real friends besides the gang, but he was now recognizable by the town folk.
“Hiya Silver! How ya doing?”
Silver turned and saw Applejack waving from a stand that sold, well, apples and apple products.
“Hey, Applejack, you working the stalls today?”
“Eeyup.” The farm pony replied, “Nothing says love like a 10 bit freshly baked apple pie.”
“A business opportunist; I respect that.” Silver scanned the stall of the baked goods and saw a pony coming out of the corner of his eye.
The pony shoved Silver aside and faced Applejack, “How much for an apple pie?” he said quickly. Silver glanced at the pony and saw that he was sweating bullets and his eyes kept shifting back and forth.
“An apple pie is 20 bits.” Silver said before Applejack could say anything.
The nervous pony cringed, “That’s a little too steep. Can’t we change the price?”
Silver grinned, “Fine; 24 bits.”
“But that’s more!”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m just having an off day, kind of like you. How about 28 bits, and we won’t tell your little lady you forgot.”
The pony’s pupils shrunk and he quickly threw a pile of bits onto Applejack’s stall before taking a pie and running away.
“Silver, what in tarnation was that?!” Applejack asked irritably, “You just made that pony pay more than double what it actually costs.”
“That, my dear Applejack, is called Economics in my world.” He took the bits and split them, “14 bits for me, and 14 bits for you.”
“Silver, this is wrong.” Applejack said, “I feel like we just scammed him.”
“Wow; an honest business pony. You have just leveled up in respect in my eyes. Also, we did scam the pony.”
“Why?!”
Silver shrugged, “Because it was easy. You saw how nervous he was? That was because he forgot all about some special plans with his date, so he wanted to do something quickly. Honestly, I say he deserves to work extra if he didn’t put enough effort the first time.”
“I don’t know…” Applejack said slowly, “It still doesn’t feel right.”
The human sighed, “Alright, I’m sorry that I made you go on the guilt trip. If you want, I’ll go return the money-”
As he reached for the bits, the farm pony quickly swiped them and placed them in her money chest.
“What’s done is done and we must live with the consequences.” Applejack said stoically. Silver chuckled lightly, “Okay then. I think I’ll just let you get back to your sales.”
Silver turned to leave, but was stopped by an elderly mare who was carrying a basket.
“Would you like of bouquet of roses?” she said, “They’re only 2 bits.”
“Sure.” Silver said, “But I’ll take five.”
Silver paid and then took the goods. He turned back to Applejack and then handed her a bouquet.
“Oh,” Applejack said, surprised, “Well, thank you kindly, Silver.” She took the roses and set them aside. She sighed, “Um, listen, I don’t mean to string you along, but-”
“Seriously?” Silver said, “Can’t a guy give presents to his friends anymore?”
“Well, it is Hearts and Hooves Day…”
“And?”
Applejack chuckled; Silver just didn’t understand. So she just smiled, “It’s nothing. Thanks for the roses.”
“No problem. Laters!” Silver said as he walked away, wondering why girls of all species made gift giving so complicated.
________________________________________
The door to Rarity’s boutique burst opened.
“I am never shopping here again!” a unicorn mare shouted as she stormed out of the dress shop, “You have absolutely no idea what you’re doing!”
As she stomped away, a very angry Rarity shouted from the door, “Maybe I would have known what I was doing if you hadn’t pestered me about making you look thin, which I might add would have been near IMPOSSIBLE!”
“Well, aren’t you in a pleasant mood.”
Rarity jumped; she turned around and saw Silver standing by the door.
“Oh, Silver,” she said, slightly flustered, “how long have you been standing there?”
“I was here when the magic whale walked out of your home.”
Rarity blushed a deep crimson, “I’m sorry you had to see me in my…less then professional moments.”
“When you gotta insult somepony, then you gotta insult somepony.” Silver said nonchalantly.
At that moment, Spike exited the boutique with a tea cup,
“Here, Rarity,” the baby dragon said as he handed Rarity the cup, “I made you some lilac tea.”
“Thank you, darling.” Rarity said appreciatively, “If you both don’t mind, I really must get back to work. I always get so many requests for dresses on Hearts and Hooves Day.” She handed Spike the cup before heading back inside.
“What was up with the customer from Hell, or Tartarus?” Silver asked Spike.
“She asked Rarity to make her a dress for some big date tonight, but the she kept telling Rarity that she was doing everything wrong. Of course, Rarity tried to be the bigger pony, but even the best have their snapping points.”
“I wish I was there to see it happen.” Silver said glumly, surprising the dragon. “Anyways, how did Rarity take her breakfast in bed?”
“Um, not well…”
“Why not?”
“Well…I kind of let myself into Rarity’s house and started making her breakfast. But Rarity was already awake, and she thought I was a burglar. Luckily, she didn’t see my face, but she did run me out with a broom.”
Silver burst out laughing after the story, “Wow! You seriously have the worst luck ever!”
Spike was about to retort, but Silver had already stepped inside Rarity’s boutique. Spike followed the human, who was talking to Rarity,
“Here you go, Rarity.” Silver said, taking out the bouquet of roses from seemingly nowhere, “Happy Hearts and Hooves Day.”
Spike looked murderous, betrayed, and heartbroken all at once as Rarity took the roses.
“But let me clarify,” Silver said, “This isn’t some hidden meaning or cleaver rouse to win your affection. This is just me giving you roses as a friend on H and H Day. Okay?”
Rarity giggled, “Of course, Silver, but even then, this is still a kind gesture. Actually, I think I have a way to repay you.”
‘Please don’t kiss him! Please don’t kiss him!’ Spike thought urgently. Rarity’s horn glowed and a pair of pants appeared out of thin air.
“I have been working on these ever since we came back from Manehattan.” Rarity said as the human picked up the pants, “Think of it as a way of thanking you for helping Coco Pommel and I, and for the roses.” She added with a smile, “I promise I’ll make you more since I can only imagine you have been wearing the same clothing since you got here.
“Um, Rarity,” Silver said as he examined the gift, “I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but these pants seem a little small.”
“I did kind of eyeball the design since I didn’t have exact measurements, but why don’t we try them out to see how much room we need.”
________________________________________
Derpy Hooves was making her usual rounds along with the extra stops to drop of the Hearts and Hooves Day cards. She merrily flew to her next destination; Rarity’s home. She arrived at the boutique with a smile on her face,
“I sure hope Rarity is having a fun Hearts and Hooves Day.” She said as she took a stack of letters from her mailbag. The stack had the usual bills, but it also had many letters with hearts on them. Derpy walked to the door and was about to insert the mail into the slot when she heard strange noises,
“Here, let me help you.” Rarity said.
“Rarity, I can handle this.” Came the voice Derpy recognized as the stallion who hangs out with Twilight; Silver Lining.
“Don’t be silly, darling. I’ll hold it open while you let yourself in.”
There was then a series of pained groans.
“Rarity,” Silver panted, “I can’t fit!”
“Yes you can!”
More pained groans.
“It’s-too-tight!” Silver said in painful intervals.
“Don’t give up now!” Rarity encouraged, “We’re almost there!”
“I-can’t!” Silver huffed, “I can’t breathe! I’m going to EXPLODE!”
“Just a couple more seconds! You can do it, Silver!”
At that moment, Silver screamed, but Derpy could not tell whether it was from pain, or pleasure. Her entire face now red, Derpy flew as fast as she can away from the boutique; her mind now rustled.
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I was eating pizza while reading this and if my roommate wasn't in the same room I would have choked to death while reading the last part...it was that funny.
3947926
Thank you and I'm sorry I almost killed you
That ending would easily fit in an Austin Powers movie, you magnificent bastard, you.
3952719
Thank you. I'm honored!
3954815
.
Yeah, that part of the episode kind of confused me, luckily I thought of a funny reason for it
I laughed my head off at this!
3974193
I have got to start writing more chapters like that since it appears so many people like it
Also, thanks!
3974247 by far, most hilarious chapter yet.
4017767
THX!
Well that last scene is a very cliche one... Though it is for very good reason. It is almost always amusing.
Oh god poor Ditzy