Fallout: Equestria - Just Like Clockwork

by Starlight_Tinker

Chapter 5 - Edinbuck

Chapter 5 - Edinbuck

"All of us had a special connection before we even met!”

I can’t believe I’d shot Caring Heart’s ancestor.

Looking through the various articles that adorned the walls of my captive’s home, I had arrived at a document from some sort of educational institution, and according to its gold lettering, this mare was a certified nurse by the name of ‘Red Heart’.

Caring would castrate me if she ever found out!

As I slowly shook my head in disbelief, I heard a soft mewl from behind me - Red Heart was waking up after passing out following her surgery.

I allowed her a moment to get her bearings, then slowly approached her bound form as she tried in vain to rise to her hooves.

“I’m going to ungag you now,” I said calmly, “But understand - if you scream, I’ll put it back in, okay?”

She nodded gently in affirmation as I magically untied the knot at the back of her head, and worked her jaw as the clump of cloth was removed from between her jaws.

“Please don’t kill me.” she whimpered, “Just take what you want and go.”

I grunted in annoyance and used a fresh rag to dry her tears. If I wanted to hurt her, why in the name of Luna would I have cleaned and dressed her wound?

“I’m not here to kill you, Miss Heart. I just needed a place to hide for a while.”

“Then...why did you shoot me?” she responded.

“I, uh...you startled me.” I said meekly.

“W-what! I startled you!” she suddenly shouted, “Have you looked in a mirror recently!? I’m not the one covered in scars with a weird-ass metal horn and a creepy black cape!”

Apparently, her confidence had been bolstered significantly by my admission. It seems that being a heavily armed, partially mutilated time travel victim wasn’t very intimidating.

Now that was what I called a strong constitution...

I raised an unimpressed eyebrow in response to her cutting words.

“Your bedside manner sucks, you know that? And it’s an overcoat, not a cape.”

Red Heart shot me a malevolent frown before she continued, her voice now fully bereft of the sad whimpering that had thus far permeated our encounter.

“So, are you going to untie me, or do you like your mares trussed up and gagged?” she asked, wiggling her flank at me mockingly.

“You do realise that if I was a rapist, you’d be digging yourself into a very deep hole right now? I could still carve my initials between your legs, if you’d like the full ‘sexual assault’ experience.”

“Let’s be honest, pal, if you were going to do that, you’d have done it already.”

Grumbling under my breath, I decided to drop the pretence – I wasn’t getting anywhere fast with this mare. Perhaps a more direct approach would help.

“Listen, I need directions. That’s all. Tell me how to get to the Edinbuck StableTec building from here, and I’ll leave you in peace – you’ll never see me again.”

“You mean that I got shot for a list of directions!? If that’s all you want, untie me and I’ll get you a Celestia damned map!”

“Finally, some sense! Thank you, Luna!” I shouted at the ceiling.

Gratified that we were finally making some sort of progress, I closed in and loosened the knots using my magic.

I then I fell to the ground...clutching my balls tightly.

She was definitely related to Caring Heart.

As Red Heart made a limping break for the door, I grabbed her in a telekinetic field and held her aloft until the pain in my nether region subsided. I rose steadily as the ache diminished and trotted over to the spot above which she was floating.

“That. Was not. Smart.” I said pointedly, accenting each word in the hope that some menace would be reintroduced to my presence.

“Go to Tartarus! You can’t keep me here forever!” she spat.

I sighed in frustration. Looking her suddenly in the eyes, I spoke frankly to the mint maned mare.

“Red Heart, I need your help. I’m tired of dancing around the issue. I. Need. Your. Help.”

“Well, you’ve got a pretty funny way of asking for it!” she screamed back.

“Look, I treated your wound and apologised. What else can I do!?”

“You can put me down and get the fuck out of my house, that’s what!”

“Please, Red Heart. I’m...I’m not from here...or now.”

“So, what? Are you, like, a junkie or something?”

“No – I’m a time traveller.”

Her eyebrows flew to the top of her forehead in surprise – no doubt that was the last thing she expected me to say.

“So...you are a junkie?”

“Red Heart, please, I’m serious. I’ve been thrown back in time and I need somepony’s help to return to my own era.”

“Sounds more like schizophrenia to me. As far as I’m concerned, you’re either an escaped mental patient, a convict, or a spy.”

“How many ponies have you ever met with a rifle that shoots light, an arcane computer clamped to their foreleg and a metal horn!?”

Red Heart opened her mouth to reply, but visibly hesitated for a moment before speaking. Was she…beginning to believe me?

“Okay, granted, you are pretty strange, but that still doesn’t mean you’re from the future!”

“Red Heart, I have friends who I know for a fact are in danger, and if I’m not there to help them I...I don’t know if they’ll be okay. There’s an evil threatening my time that’s more grave than anything Equestria’s ever faced before. I’ll ask once more: will you help me, or am I on my own?”

Red Heart just stared at me, her brow slightly furrowed. I doubted that she knew what to make of me anymore. At first I was a burglar, then a murderer, then a rapist. Now, though...

I was a time traveller stranded in the past.

Even I knew how that sounded.

Sighing, I picked up my gear and headed towards that door.

“You’ll understand if I don’t let you down straight away.” I said without looking at her, “I’ll release the spell when I’m confident that you won’t be able to follow me. Have a good life, Miss Heart.”

As I moved to pass her, Red Heart suddenly spoke. The sincerity of her tone grabbed my attention instantly.

“Put me down and help me get dressed.” she said simply.

I whipped my head up and stared up at her in surprise.

“The next train to Edinbuck leaves in an hour.” she concluded with a smile.

---

“A StableTec admin facility?” I exclaimed.

Buckshot and I were standing in front of Sage’s massive desk, as he gestured to a large map that he had unrolled over its dark, wooden surface (I was reminded of the as yet unrepaired gouges in Brandy’s pub counter).

“I thought you said that you had a way of getting back into Stable 52? What good will an office building do us?”

Sage enthusiastically leaned forward in his chair.

“Oh, but this isn’t just any old office building, Compass! The Edinbuck hub was StableTec’s central administrative headquarters. There wasn’t a single piece of information about the company that wasn’t meticulously documented and filed away in there!”

I rolled my eyes - he still hadn’t answered my question.

“Well, it’s nice to hear they were so diligent with their paperwork, but tax records aren’t going to be of very much use to us are they?”

Sage smirked knowingly as he responded:

“True – but access codes and schematics might...”

“Oh...” I said, as his plan became more obvious.

Why hadn’t I thought of that!? Of course a company as large as StableTec would have kept vast stores of backed up design specifications and security protocols!

What giant corporation wouldn’t?

I quickly stifled my gratitude for the company’s attention to detail as I recalled StableTec’s apparent disregard for the lives of my Stablemates. Turning back to Sage, I informed him of my approval as a smile slowly crept over my face:

“That sounds...quite promising, actually.”

I trotted over to the map, taking mental notes of the area’s major landmarks (which were highlighted by a series of mouth-drawn annotations).

“So how far away is this place?”

“A day’s trot, maximum. We can take one of Buckshot’s guard details, and take a break here-”

Sage pointed to a small drawing of a hill that lay about halfway between Trotfell and the ruins of Edinbuck. I noted that the map itself looked ancient and well used, and that the hill was among the oldest of its revised features.

“-after which, we should arrive in the Edinbuck ruins. There’s a small local population of Scavengers whom we can barter with for additional supplies and shelter. And after that, it’s on to the admin building!”

As Sage grinned at me, I felt Buckshot’s heavy hoofsteps approach from behind as he began to take his own look at the map.

After a cursory glance, he turned to Sage, a confused expression spread across his gaunt face.

“Uh...sir? Isn’t this the facility that you yerself ordered aff limits?” he asked.

Sage responded to Buckshot’s query with a withering look - it spoke far louder than anything he could have said verbally.

As far as I could tell, it was something along the lines of: “Why did you mention that, you idiot!?”

I knew it couldn’t be that simple...

Sighing, I asked the obvious question:

“Okay. What’s the catch?”

Sage avoided my gaze while Buckshot silently reeled from his visual admonishment.

Right, then – a guessing game it is...

“This place is a deathtrap, isn’t it?” I proffered, “It’s going to be radioactively contaminated, or structurally unsound, or crawling with rogue robots, or...or something like that, right?”

Reassuming eye-contact, Sage let out a heavy sigh:

“Not...not quite. Almost...”

I looked from Sage to Buckshot and back again as my query hung still in the air.

“Well? What’s wrong with it?”

There was a weighty pause as Sage and Buckshot exchanged a glance – something told me that I was definitely not going to like this...

Finally, after an awkwardly long silence, the silver-maned buck spoke up:

“We call it...” He stopped mid sentence, pausing almost as if out of reverence, “The Sentinel...”

Well, that sounded ominous...

“The...Sentinel?” I asked cautiously.

Sage wetted his lips and sighed heavily.

“Many years ago, I sent a small team to the Edinbuck ruins on a trading mission. While there, they decided to try their hooves at scavenging, and had some success in gaining access to a previously sealed StableTec facility.”

“The one we're going to, I take it?” I enquired.

Sage nodded somberely, continuing his story:

“Apparently, they encountered an old high security defence system of some sort. Long story short: it decimated them. Only one buck made it back out, and he died in the care of Edinbuck's doctor less than a day later...”

Both Buckshot and Sage were hanging their heads in remembrance of the dead. I, however, was in the middle of a nice, profound gawk.

“And you want us to just waltz back into this place!? Are you nuts!? I barely made it through the Stable’s maintenance robots and now you want me to go up against combat models!?”

Sage looked up at me, straight into my eyes. A sincere look of regret was marring his aged features.

“Compass, please understand: I sent those ponies to their deaths, and since that day I've never done anything to make their sacrifices worthwhile. For years, I've tried to forget that they died for nothing, but all that's done is highlight my own accountability.”

His gaze had become distant and watery, just like Buckshot’s had the previous night.

I knew then that I’d have to go. After all that Sage and the ponies of Trotfell had done for me, there was no way that I’d be able to go without repaying them – and a perfect opportunity had just presented itself.

Suddenly brightening, Sage turned back to face me, evidently cramming a series of dark thoughts into a far corner of his mind with practised ease. I found myself wondering just how much of his cheery demeanour was actually genuine...

“Besides, without the data in those maneframes, we won't be able to help anypony in that Stable of yours.”

“But what makes you think that this expedition will be any less lethal than the last one?” I asked.

Sage smiled conspiratorially.

“You. Having somepony who can take down a ponitron single-hoofed won’t hurt our chances with that security system.”

Of course. At this point, I probably should have mentioned my crippling phobia of spider-bots, but I just couldn’t bear to watch Sage repress the inevitable negatives emotions that would ensue. Just watching him do it once had pained me!

I realised that both Sage and Buckshot were looking at me expectantly. Giving up any final thoughts of arguing, I sighed and nodded.

“Okay...okay, let's go.”

Sage’s smile widened in gratitude.

“Thank you , Compass. Thank you. Buckshot?”

“Sir?”

“Put together a team. I want two snipers, three close quarters specialists and two medics.”

“Aye, sir. I’ll get right on it.”

Buckshot saluted Sage (much to the older buck’s irritation) and turned to leave, shooting me an almost imperceptible smile as he passed. As he exited the room, I turned to Sage:

“Are you sure about this?”

"Oh, absolutely!" he beamed as he trotted towards the door.

“What could possibly go wrong?”

---

Buckshot's team were already assembled and were gearing up by the time Sage and I emerged from his office. They all saluted as we trotted in front of them - I could hear the older pony grumbling under his breath.

Coming to a halt in front of the assembled troops, Sage began to bellow at them in a throaty, commanding voice:

"Alright, everypony! Here's our mission."

Our? Wait, he wasn't planning on-

Buckshot got there before me:

"Uh, sir? Did ye say 'our'."

Switching seamlessly back to his rich speaking voice, Sage turned to address the question:

"Yes, Buckshot - I'm coming with you."

"But sir, it's a long trot, an' the route tae the Edinbuck ruins is well known fer bein' dangerous. It's no a journey fae somepony o' yer-"

"Of my what?" Sage raised a single unimpressed eyebrow as Buckshot began to squirm under his relaxed gaze.

"Y-yer...uh...um...nevermind."

Buckshot quickly lowered his head and closed his mouth, no doubt hoping to prevent any more embarrassing exchanges.

Returning to his 'command' voice, Sage continued his address:

"We'll be heading to Edinbuck by way of Eagle Ridge. Once there, we'll resupply and divert to StableTec's old Coltland headquarters."

There was a smattering of whispered gasps at the mention of the facility's name but, for the most part at least, the group maintained their composure.

Without waiting for any questions or objections, Sage bellowed once more:

"Understood?"

In unison, the assembled bucks and mares stood straight, snapping to attention and responding as one:

"Yes, sir!"

With an aggravated roll of his eyes and a nod to Buckshot, Sage transferred his command of the group and began dawning a set of armoured barding. He was offered a pipe weapon by a tall red pony with a bottle shaped cutie mark, but refused it with a dismissive shake of his head.

---

We set off just over an hour later, a nine strong group on a mission.

You're no doubt wondering why I've suddenly lost the ability to count...

Well, don't worry - I haven't.

There should have been ten ponies altogether, but one of Buckshot's 'close quarters specialists' came down with a nasty case of hole-in-the-flank.

Consequently, that's how I learned what a 'rifle' was...and why I wasn't allowed to have one of my own (honestly, how was I supposed to know what a 'safety catch' was?).

I could feel the eyes of the other combat specialists drilling holes in the back of my head as we trotted away from Trotfell in silence. In an attempt to avoid any ugliness, I hastened my pace and caught up with Sage and Buckshot at the head of the group. This was as good a time as any to slake my curiosity.

"Sage?" I asked.

"Yes, Compass?"

"When I woke up in the hospital, I heard you and Mo talking about somepony called 'The Doctor', and as I recall, it had something to do with me..."

Sage sighed and let out a small scoff.

"Yes...Mo seems to think that you're...not who you say you are."

"Wait - what? Mo accused me of lying!?"

And I saved her life! The nerve of some ponies!

"Oh, no. Don't get me wrong, we're all very grateful for what you've done for us. We have absolutely no reason to doubt you."

"Then what did you mean?"

Another sigh - something told me that this particular subject matter was somewhat annoying for Sage.

"Moon Shadow only scavenges for the caps - her true passion is a pre-war radio series called 'The Adventures of Doctor Whooves'. She's amassed a sizeable collection of tapes of the show and broadcasts them regularly using an old, low power radio transmitter tower near Trotfell. She's become something of a local celebrity – the foals love her."

"TBC tapes, right? I heard you mention them. What does the acronym stand for?"

"TBC stands for 'Trottingham Broadcasting Corporation'. It was the media company that produced the series. Basically, it was about an alien called the 'Doctor', the last of his kind, who travelled through time and space fighting aliens and monsters. You could probably guess the gist of the episodes: he protected the weak, defended the innocent and defeated the bad guy. That sort of thing."

"Yes, that's very interesting, Sage, but what does it have to do with me?"

"Well, you see, Compass, over the last few years, Mo's started to question whether or not the show's protagonist was...uh..."

Buckshot suddenly chimed in.

"Something other than fiction, sir?"

Sage nodded toward the tall Earth pony, silently thanking him for his input.

"I suppose that's as good a definition as any."

"So...Mo thinks that I'm...an...alien...?"

"A thousand year old, time travelling alien, yes."

"Uh-huh...and where exactly did she get that idea?"

"Oh, I don't know. Something to do with the way you saved her. That little arcane rod you carry around is very similar to the Doctor's tool of choice - his 'sonic screwdriver', and you apparently shouted something in French that was one of the Doctor's catchphrases."

"Right..."

"Compass? Are you alright?" Sage's rich tones enquired.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. I'm fine." I replied, putting on a forced smile.

"You looked pretty distant there..."

Sage was staring at me with a distinct look of concern, and I recognised a desire to help in his distinguished blue eyes.

"It's just that...every time somepony mentions the Doctor, I have this nagging feeling that I've heard of him before. But when I try to bring the memories to the forefront of my mind, they just fade away. It's like...trying to remember a dream..."

Sage nickered jovially.

"Oh, don’t worry about that! Maybe you've listened to the programme before. Don't Stables have media libraries?"

"Yeah, big ones. But, I'd never heard of the show until you mentioned it there..."

"Well, I'm sure it's just a coincidence. Mo's never really produced any concrete evidence of the Doctor's existence besides some garbled audio logs and encrypted text documents."

"Whoa, hold on, are you telling me she's found proof he's real!?"

"No, she claims to have found proof - most of it comes from StableTec buildings and Ministry Hubs. We've never been able to substantiate any of it. The audio she finds is usually distorted beyond repair, and the documents use military grade codes for encryption. Codes that are phenomenally difficulty to crack."

"But...that means that you can't say for certain that she's wrong..."

Sage nodded awkwardly.

"Well...yes, that's true. But it's all nonsense. I'm sure your similarities are just coincidences!"

"And what if I don't believe in coincidence?"

Sage turned to me with a smirk and raised one of his eyebrows.

"Don't get philosophical with me, little colt. I was reading Starswirl before you were even-"

Sage suddenly whipped his head round to the twelve o'clock position, a calculating look on his face.

Something was wrong.

"Buckshot?" he asked

"Sir?"

"Did you replace Lemon Whip before we left?"

"No, sir. There wasnae time."

"Well then, gents, don't be alarmed, but we have an intruder."

Both Buckshot and I turned our heads to regard the group behind us.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine...ten.

Uh-oh.

A masked figure dressed in combat barding that matched the specialist's had appeared behind us, and was expertly shadowing the group. They'd managed to join the back of our convoy with such stealth that the others hadn't even noticed the newcomer's arrival.

I couldn't help but admire the cleverness of their tactics - all that we would see out of our peripheral vision was another Trotfell guard, a sight that we all fully expected and hence wouldn't be alarmed by. They could just blend perfectly into the background. Waiting...

In fact, had it not been for Sage's seemingly accidental re-evaluation of our numbers, we probably wouldn't have noticed their presence at all.

Until it was too late, that is.

"You know what to do, Buckshot." Sage muttered.

"Aye, sir." came the whispered response.

Sage edged close to me as Buckshot waited for the right moment.

"Compass, if any shooting starts, let the guards handle it. Keep low and follow me, okay?"

I nodded silently as Buckshot calmly pulled his shotgun from its sleeve, holding it nonchalantly in front of him. As we passed a large outcropping of rock, he stealthily peeled away from the group and doubled back, quickly materialising behind our mystery companion.

With a sudden, harsh roar, he jammed the shotgun into the back of the newcomer's neck.

"DROP YOUR WEAPON AND KNEEL ON THE GROUND, LEGS SPLAYED OUTWARD!"

Good Goddess, could he shout! The rest of our company, with nought but that split second's notice, were all suddenly standing in threatening combat stances with their weapons trained on the intruder. I was sorely impressed - their training was nothing short of exemplary.

The mystery pony froze with a frightened squeak (a distinctly feminine squeak) and let the rifle she was holding in her mouth drop to the ground.

Buckshot gingerly moved around to unmask her, taking care not let his guard down.

He leant forward, and gripped the ancient hockey mask she was wearing with his teeth. Pulling it unceremoniously off of her head, he spat it to the ground.

Just in time for Moon Shadow to sheepishly grin towards her father and me.

"Uh...hi guys..." she whimpered.

I looked to Sage, and saw a look of simmering fury etched across his face. Without warning, he suddenly bellowed at her using a distinctly angrier version of his 'command' voice, perforating my left ear drum in the process.

"MOONLIGHT SELINITIA SHADOW! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"

I swear, every single one of us winced as he shouted at her - Sage's voice was beyond intimidating.

Walking briskly towards his daughter, he continued to admonish the now mortified pegasus.

"I thought I told you to stay home and rest! You almost died the last time you went scavenging!"

"I know you did, Dad, I'm sorry!" she answered meekly, avoiding his harsh stare.

"Come to think of it, what the hay are you doing out of the hospital!? You had the worst concussion I've ever seen!"

He shot a glance at Caring Heart, who promptly shrugged. Apparently, Mo had an aptitude for stealth.

Sage sighed angrily, forcibly containing his irritation with the situation, and turned to the group's only female sniper.

"Armour, take Mo back to Trotfell. If she tries to resist, you have my permission to restrain her."

"Aw, but Daaad! Come on, it's the Edinbuck facility! I've been trying to get in there for years!"

"We'll bring you back a fridge magnet. Come on everypony, we're leaving!"

"But you need me! Who else can pick locks like I can!?"

"We can all pick locks, Mo - it's not exactly difficult!"

"Ah, but can any of you pick the ones with high security tumblers?"

Sage bit his tongue in frustration.

"No. What's your point?"

"Well, the Edinbuck facility was a high security sort of deal wasn't it? That means high security locks."

The look on Sage's face suggested that he was losing this argument. I noted mentally that I could have simple used the Screwdriver to defeat any locks we encountered, but decided to remain silent (I was too tempted by the opportunity to finally meet the lucid Moon Shadow).

"Come on, Dad, let me come. You'd have to come back for me anyway - you know I'm the best lockpick in Trottingham."

Sage grumbled under his breath and addressed Mo:

"Fine. Do what you want, Mo. But if you end up in the firing line again, I want you to seek cover rather than-"

Suddenly, Buckshot's gruff Coltland accent screamed across the Wasteland as a flurry of tiny explosions began to erupt from the blighted ground around us.

"INCOMING HOSTILES! NON-COMBATANTS TO COVER POSITIONS, COMBAT TEAM, DEFENSE FORMATION ALPHA-SIX!"

In unison, we began to scatter. Sage grabbed Mo's ear with his teeth and gestured with his eyes for me to follow.

We managed to climb behind a rock just in time for a hoofheld explosive to go off behind us.

"Compass, can you look after-"

He stopped mid sentence as we both realised that Mo had disappeared. Looking up, we saw that she had taken wing in an attempt to distract our attackers (of which there were at least a dozen).

"Excuse me." Sage shouted politely over the din of gunfire, deftly hopping over the rock and diving into the fray.

“SAGE!” I shouted, fearing for the ancient buck’s safety as he sprinted into a hale of bullets.

As the opposing combatants closed in, I quickly learned that my concern was entirely misplaced.

Within seconds, Sage had expertly pulled the weapon from the claws of one of our eagle-headed attackers and begun firing intermittently so that the airspace above him and around Mo was kept clear.

That wasn't the most impressive part, though.

Oh, no.

Between shots, he was executing perfectly timed bucks, pirouettes and throws, effectively disarming any who came within a metre radius of his position on the ground.

He was like a one pony shield!

I was suddenly snapped from my trance as a sweaty, winded Buckshot leapt over the rock I was taking cover behind, landing between my spread rear legs. He looked down at my crotch, panting, each breath fuelled by a vast rush of adrenaline.

"Heh. Didn't think I'd end up down here that quickly." he smirked

"What?" I shouted over the explosive din around us.

"Nevermind." he said as he sat up next to me, "You okay? Are ye hurt?" Buckshot asked as he loaded his shotgun with a series of small red cylinders.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Buckshot, who the hell are they!? Why are they attacking us!?"

"Razor mercenaries. They're a fighting force fer hire."

"So...what, somepony's paid them to kill us!?"

"Apparently..."

"But why would-"

"They're probably after Mayor Sage. He's by far the most powerful figure in Trottingh-"

Before he could finish his sentence, a statuesque griffin at least twice my size leapt behind the boulder in a single, well timed somersault.

She landed with her weapon, another shotgun, pointing directly at Buckshot and me.

The world slowed.

I had been looking at Buckshot a moment earlier, and was fully aware that he wasn't ready to respond. In the time it would take him to raise his own shotgun, the mercenary would have fired, forcing several hundred tiny metal balls straight into our bodies.

We were going to die.

Oh, wait...

Whose hoof is that?

With no robots to paralyse me with fear, my fight or flight reflex had kicked in with a vengeance, causing the muscles in my right foreleg to tense painfully.

The practical upshot of this, however, was that my hoof, upon making a reassuringly solid clang on the metal of the barrel, had batted the lethal pipe from her claws, taking all three of us completely by surprise.

I tried to ready myself for the physical confrontation that I knew for certain was about to ensue, but before I could even rise to my hooves, something happened.

Something that I will remember for the remainder of my life.

She exploded.

Her abdomen and haunches were instantly transformed from functional parts of a living, breathing creature into a torrent of blood riddled with random fragments of meat.

I could have vomited, but I somehow managed to hold it in - it must have been the shock.

Turning to Buckshot, I began to speak in a laboured, rasping voice.

"W-why…why did you do that? S-she was disarmed; d-defenceless. You killed her..."

He looked at me through sad eyes, his adrenaline fuelled bravado shrinking away as he realised how fully and utterly appalled I was.

"Compass, oot here, it's kill or be killed. The sooner ye learn that, the longer you'll live."

At that, he leapt over the boulder and back into the fray, leaving me in my hiding place with the eviscerated corpse of our would-be dispatcher.

I found myself shivering; shaking uncontrollably at the sight of all that pulped flesh.

And at that moment, I had an epiphany...

This was the spirit of the Wasteland.

This splayed corpse was the perfect personification its spirit - it was hate and misery and suffering.

I felt tears stream down my face as the vision of the griffin's death wandered back and forth in front of my mind's eye, repeating over and over again.

She had had a life.

Friends as well, probably.

Maybe even a mother and father, like Caring had mentioned.

And now she was just a pile of meat.

I clenched my teeth and squeezed my eyes tightly shut as a raging rush began to flow from my gut outwards into my extremities.

Opening my eyes, I found my face contorted with anger. At what, I wasn't exactly sure, but I did know one thing: there was no way I was letting this continue.

Pulling the Screwdriver from my barding pocket, I flipped the control ring round to 14C and climbed over the rock, cautiously dashing toward Sage as a miniscule twinge of pain finished shooting across my forehead.

"Compass! Watch out! Get to cover!" he shouted, while gracefully dislocating the shoulder of an oncoming mercenary.

A look of panic shot over his face as another one of the griffins turned his rifle (a long range model, I noted) toward me and began to line up the sight.

The Screwdriver rattled my head as my assassin's weapon disintegrated into a heap of freshly separated components. The gun’s owner just looked on in surprise as I smirked at him.

Running up to Sage's side, I shouted into his ear:

"This has to stop!"

"You'll hear no argument from me!" he responded while warding off another griffin with a spray of bullets.

"I need you to tell the guards to not attack them after they're disarmed!"

"Disarmed!? What are you-"

"Sage! I don't have time to explain! I can end this fight if you promise me there'll be no more killing!"

He looked at me as if I were crazy at first, but quickly realised from my face that I was being serious, and that I honestly believed that I could do what I claimed.

"On three." he said simply.

I nodded once in agreement and readied the Screwdriver.

"One..."

My teeth clenched tightly around the little instrument

"Two..."

Sage cleared his throat and took a deep breath.

"Three!"

The Screwdriver buzzed loudly as I swept it around our locale like a lance. The wash of rage I felt was unlike any I had ever experienced before! It transcended the brief pulses I had known for so many years, instead manifesting as a constant torrent of aggression and anger.

At the same time, Sage roared in a voice fiercer than any I had ever heard before:

"HOLD FIRE!"

Suddenly (and I mean suddenly) the fighting stopped.

It was as if the hostility had just disappeared, replaced instead by an eerie stillness.

As we came to our senses, the scene around us resolved itself, and we were able to take stock of the situation.

Four Razor mercenaries were dead; six remained, all held threateningly at gunpoint by the Trotfell guards. Thankfully, none of our group had come to harm, which softened my rage slightly.

Rather than looking frightened or angry, the Razors looked confused - their weapons had literally fallen apart in their claws, allowing the astounding reflexes of our combative companions to take them by surprise.

Sage turned to me, a look of utter disbelief on his face.

"I...huff...can't believe that...oof...worked!" he panted.

"Of course it worked." I said hoarsely, the bitterness of the battle still fresh in my mind, "My ideas always work."

I clenched my teeth in anger as I approached the leader of the attack: the only griffin not wearing armour.

"Who paid you!? Who ordered this attack!?"

"Like I'd fuckin' tell you! Piss off!" she spat at me.

I grabbed her by the lapels of her dark grey overcoat and pulled her towards me, making sure that she could feel the warmth of my ragged breath against her beak.

"Listen, love. I've only been out here for a little over a day, and I've already gathered that lives aren't worth hellish much around here. Now, my friends have guns pointed at you and your fellows, and they're ready to fire. Are you going to be a good little birdie and tell me what I want to know, or are you going to become the next random victim of the Wasteland?"

Her gaze was stalwart and resolute; absolutely stoic - she had probably encountered ponies far hardier than me before. I had no doubt that she was going to remain silent, and force me to come up with some other gambit to extract information from her and her cohorts.

Thinking quickly, I focussed my still fresh and pure anger on fashioning the most malevolent, menacing grin I could. Turning to Buckshot (who was currently not engaged in holding a Razor at bay) I said simply:

"Buckshot, give me your gun..."

His reaction was exactly what I had hoped for.

"Um…Compass...? You, uh...you feeling awrite?"

"Just give me your gun..." I said as if trying to keep my voice level.

He looked uncertainly to Sage, who nodded solemnly - he was too clever to not know what I was up to, and wasn't about to stop me. After all, who wouldn't want to know the identity of the pony who had paid for their assassination?

Buckshot passed me his shotgun, and I turned back to the lead Razor with my menacing grin set to full.

"What's your name, my dear?"

She spat at me, prompting one of my hooves to swing out and strike her ribcage. A muffled crack was distinctly audible from within.

"YOUR NAME! NOW!" I bellowed.

"G-Galinda." She coughed.

"Now, Galinda, I'm a pretty poor shot...but I doubt even I could miss from this range..."

Despite my anger-fuelled attempts at harshness, her watery gaze was still confident and strong - I'd have to keep it up for a little longer.

Being perfectly honest, though, it was kind of disturbing how easy I was finding this.

Actually...it was turning out to be...well, fun...

"So...I'll ask you again" I said, "Who hired you?"

I pulled the mouthgrip between my jaws and closed one of my eyes, lining up the weapon's iron sight with her left wing joint.

Even though she was still looking at me defiantly, I could make out a few tiny beads of sweat beginning to matte her feathers.

It was working!

As I was holding the gun, my eye wandered for a split second, catching the only detail of the weapon that I knew off by heart.

At that moment, the next step of my plan was clear.

I began to squeeze the trigger with my tongue.

"Okay, then - be that way. Let'sh clip thoshe wingsh..." I slurred around the grip.

I squeezed harder...and harder...and harder...

Mo suddenly screamed from somewhere behind me:

"Doctor! Don't do it-!"

Before she could finish her outburst, the hammer released, firing a flesh tearing burst of metal pellets directly into her wing joint!

Or, at least, it would have...had the safety catch not been engaged.

All the gun did was produce a heart-stopping click, but it was enough - the lead griffin's eyes shot wide as she screamed, clearly frightened beyond her ability to compose herself.

Frowning in mock surprise, I turned to Buckshot, smirking inwardly at the appalled looks on Mo and Caring Heart's faces:

"What the fuck is wrong with your gun!?"

"T-the safety's on." he responded, clearly unsure of the state of my sanity.

"Ah! Of course! I'm far too used to using my hooves to bludgeon things!" I responded merrily, flipping the catch to the 'off' position, "Let'sh try thish again, shall we...?" I said as I re-established my aim at her delicate appendage.

"Wait!" she suddenly shouted, now well and truly rumbled, "I'll tell you everything, just please, somepony, take that gun off of him!"

My demonic grin widened and I closed in to her face for a second time, making sure to stare intimidatingly into her eyes as I whispered into her open beak:

"Good birdie..."

Sage chose this moment to interject, trotting gracefully into the middle of my act.

"Compass. That's enough." he said firmly.

Shooting him a glance, I tried to exaggerate the respect and admiration that Buckshot had shown him earlier. Putting on the best growl I could muster, I responded in a low, throaty rumble.

"...Yes, sir..."

I backed away slowly, bowed to Sage, and proceeded to stand stock still, staring malevolently at the lead griffin.

I found that I felt lighter; like all the anger that had previously rushed into my heart had been released. I had actually been soothed by the griffin's panic at the thought of being mutilated. As a matter of fact, the fear I saw in her eyes as I pulled the trigger was almost therapeutic...

"Who...w-what the fuck was that!?" she blurted at Sage as he gently trotted towards her.

"Who? Him? That's my new bodyguard."

"W-what the hell did you do to him!? He's crazy!"

"We didn't do anything to him - he came that way. My daughter even seems to think he's the Doctor. You know, from that old series we broadcast sometimes? He's actually pretty interesting when you get past his love for mincing things; would you like to speak to him again?"

"No! Tell me what you want to know and I'll spill it! Just keep him the fuck away from me!"

"That's what I like to hear. Now, who hired you?"

"Some rich buck: a trader named Stone Tower. Our contract with him was for 25'000 caps. We were supposed to bring you to his fortress. That was all, I swear!"

"Ah, I see - him again. Well, you can tell Stone that he's not going to get his hooves on me that easily."

Sage leaned in close to her, and let every single Joule of warmth drain from his voice:

"And you can also tell him...that if he ever endangers my friends like this again, I will find him...and I will end him. Did you get all that?"

A gulp and a nod took the place of a verbal affirmation.

"Good. Now get out of my sight."

The lead griffin picked herself up shakily and gestured wordlessly to her comrades, all of whom wore looks of astonishment.

I doubted that they had ever seen her that frightened. Hopefully, this encounter would go some way toward protecting us from attacks in the future.

We watched silently as they limped away, but I quickly realised that the Razors weren’t the main focus of the Trotfell guard’s attention.

No. For some reason, they were all staring at me.

Perhaps I'd overdone it...?

…

Nah.

I wandered over to the dark grey trench coat that Galinda had left on the ground when one of comrades had come to carry her away.

It was a nice coat, too - lots of pockets!

Pulling it on over my barding, I transferred my Screwdriver and Spectro-Goggles to its side pockets.

I then turned back to my still staring companions and passed Buckshot his shotgun. He looked at me with a wide-eyed expression of awe as I began to speak:

"Shall we get going then?" I asked cheerily.

Without waiting for a response, I turned back to the path and resumed our route.

The others followed...but kept their distance.

---

After many hours of silent walking, we reached Eagle Ridge and the promise of a rest. The ridge itself was a curious shape; like a disc that had embedded itself in the ground at an angle. It featured one side that resembled a gentle slope, and another that was composed entirely of a vertical wall of harshly hewn rock.

The guards dropped their equipment in front of the wall and started consuming ancient packets of preserved food and murky water. Buckshot and Sage began to converse quietly over a smaller version of the map from the older buck's office.

Everypony was still giving me a wide birth, and after my 'performance' earlier that day, I honestly couldn't blame them.

On reflection, maybe I had overdone it…

Just a smidge…

The only one who seemed to still be interested in talking to me was Mo, but until we sat down to rest, she hadn't actually approached. I had seen her fidgeting just inside my peripheral vision, always seemingly on the brink of coming to talk to me, but never quite making it.

Strange - she never struck me as the shy typ-

"Uh...Compass?"

Speak of Discord...

"Mo..." I smiled, "I wondered how long it would take you to introduce yourself."

"Uh...sorry? We have met, right? I didn't dream that part did I...?" she frowned.

"Well, you were concussed the first time we met and you didn't say a word the second. As it stands, this is the first time we've actually had an opportunity to talk lucidly to each other."

"Oh, yeah. I suppose it is." she mused, "Well then, I suppose introductions are in order! Moon Selenitia Shadow. Pleased to meet you."

Mo beamed at me, showing off her high cheek bones and remarkably straight teeth.

"Compass. And the pleasure's all mine." I smiled back

Mo seemed to deflate a little when I said my name. I wasn't that boring, was I?

"Are you sure that that's your name?"

Ah. So that's why she looked so crestfallen. I'd almost forgotten about all that 'Doctor' business, what with the flying death squad that had attacked us earlier in the day.

"You don't have to pretend with me...Doctor." she whispered conspiratorially.

"Mo, listen, Sage's already told me about that radio series. I think I can safely assure you that I'm not him."

"Of course you are!" she shouted, causing a good few of the guards' heads to turn towards us, "You have the Sonic Screwdriver, you came out of nowhere, and you saved me from certain death just in the nick of time! You even used one of his catchphrases!"

"Yeah, Sage mentioned all that as well. Look, that 'catchphrase' just popped into my head, I saved you because I was scared to death of the Wasteland and wanted some company, and I didn't 'come from nowhere', I ran away from Stable 52 so that I wouldn't get murdered. And as for this thing-"

I pulled the Screwdriver out of my pocket and rolled it between my hooves.

"I found it in a hidden control room. So there. All explained; all rational. Absolutely no thousand year old alien-"

"Hidden room? What kind of 'hidden room'?" Mo interrupted.

I could see why Sage was so exasperated in the hospital - she just wouldn't shut up about this!

"It was disguised as a waste silo." I said while waiving my hoof dismissively, "Some sort of control centre with a big round console and root access to the maneframe. It's how I found out about the murderer in the Stable. I think it was originally designed to monitor whatever it was StableTec were doing to the inhabitants - that's probably why they hid it."

Mo's face was now a very interesting shape - her eyes and mouth had widened to a ridiculous degree during my last sentence, and she seemed to be consuming every word I uttered with an incredible level of interest.

"A...round...control...console...?" she finally managed to get out, "In a...disguised...room...?"

"Uh-huh..." I said warily, backing away from her as that creepy, wide-eyed stare from the hospital made another appearance, "Mo? Are you, uh, alright?"

"You're describing his ship..."

"His what...?"

"His ship! The Doctor's time machine! It can disguise itself according to its immediate surroundings and it has a big, round control console in it!"

I rolled my eyes and grumbled under my breath. A familiar warm bloom was forming in my stomach, and I was desperate not to let Mo become the victim of one of my outbursts.

"Mo, this is ridiculous! I am not the Doctor! And that room was most definitely not an alien spacecraft. For one thing, the controls were all terrestrial. For another, it had a standard StableTec terminal interface. And last, but by no means least, the console's name and model number were printed in Equestrian tex-"

Mo suddenly launched herself at me, pinning my shoulders to the huge face of Eagle Ridge. A curious echoing clang emanated from within the rock face, but I wasn't inclined to focus much of my attention on it. After all, there was an insane blue pegasus in front of me...

With an unrelenting fire in her eyes, Mo began to speak in a shaky, barely controlled voice:

"The name! What was it!? What did it say on the console!?"

Utterly flabbergasted, I responded meakly:

"I-It was an acronym, uh...'RADISH' or something. Uh, 'TRADISH'? 'TARDISH'? Ah! 'TARDIS'! That was it! 'TARDIS'."

Mo looked as if she'd just been given a massive dose of Med-X. A huge, goofy grin had formed on her face, and was rapidly growing wider.

"THAT'S IT!" she screamed, "That's the name of his ship! Time and Relative Dimension in Space! T-A-R-D-I-S! TARDIS!"

Mo leapt off of me and began bouncing around the guards in joy.

"I found him! I found him! It's the Doctor!"

She bounded up to Buckshot and Sage, who had turned to regard the sudden commotion.

"Didn't I tell you, Dad!? He's real! And I've found him!"

Sage simply looked past his daughter to me and shrugged; a look of sympathy in his eyes.

I had had enough.

Trotting angrily up to Mo, I grabbed her by the shoulders and stared straight into her eyes.

"Mo. For the last time: I. Am. Not. The. Doctor!"

She sneekily eyed her father, while still maintaining that obnoxious grin.

"Well, then, Mr. 'I'm not the Doctor', how come you knew how to say 'Allons'y'? Are you asserting that you didn't know that it means 'Let's go' in French?"

"Absolutely, I'm asserting that!"

"So, you don't know any French at all, then?"

"One phrase; half a dozen words. Tops. In fact, I've never learned any other languages! I've tried - I'm crap at them!"

Buckshot and Sage exchanged a confused glance as Mo and I conversed. Apparently, this outburst was nutty even for her.

"But the Doctor could speak and read every language in the universe. The advanced technology of the TARDIS guaranteed it!"

Ah-ha! Finally, a breakthrough!

"Well, then," I beamed, "How could I possibly be the Doctor if I can't speak another language, let alone one as close to English as French?"

"You couldn't..." she said slowly.

"There! See!? I can't be the Doctor! That's proof by contradiction! Compass: one, Mo: nil!"

I smiled confidently and turned to Sage and Buckshot, who, strangely, were both still wearing squint, frowning expressions. Slowly observing the rest of the guards, all of whom had taken notice by now, I noticed that they were similarly nonplussed.

Turning back to Mo, I quickly registered that she was still grinning, although by this point, it had metamorphosed into more of a broad smirk.

I felt another 'checkmate' moment rapidly approaching.

"What?" I asked helplessly.

"You couldn't be the Doctor..." Mo reiterated, "Unless, of course, you do speak every language in the Universe, and you either didn't know about it, or were hiding it from us."

"But I can’t speak anything but English! We've already established that! And as for French, I know what 'C'est la vie' and 'S'il vous plait' mean, but that's about it!"

"In that case,-" Mo began confidently, "-how have you been managing to speak fluent French for the last couple of minutes?"

She winked cheekily.

"Just thought I'd test you...Doctor."

What nonsense was this!? I opened my mouth to shout a response - I'd tried to contain my rage, but now she was just asking for it!

Unfortunately (for me), what actually came out of the hole in my head was...well, let's just say it wasn't what I'd expected:

"Qu'est-ce? C'est absurde! Je vous ai déjà dit que je ne peux pas parler fran...çais..."

All of a sudden, I was aware that my words were not in English, despite the fact that my thoughts were. It was as if a filter had been lifted in my mind, allowing me to perceive that which was previously hidden.

Sadly, like on so many other occasions, the formidable eloquence of my inner monologue failed me yet again:

"C'est quoi ce bordel!?"

---

After everypony had had a good gawk at me (and I had figured out how to switch back to English), we picked up our equipment and continued on our way to Edinbuck.

Demonstrating a total lack of empathy, Mo bombarded me with questions for the next six hours, and for those six hours, I was unable to answer a single one of them. She made sure that I knew she was 'on to me', and that it was now her life's mission to gain entry to Stable 52 and retrieve the TARDIS.

With the amount of sighing and eye rolling I ended up doing, it was amazing that I could still stand upright.

There was however one question of hers that I could answer.

As we passed a particularly depressing ruined village, Mo asked me what my cutie mark meant.

Now, this was not, in and of itself, a strange occurrence.

What was strange, however, was what happened after I'd delivered my initial answer.

"That doesn't look like any carrot I've ever seen..." Mo remarked rudely.

"It's not meant to be a vegetable! It's a 'caret', the-"

"Yeah, I know, the symbol you get when you press SHIFT+6 on a terminal. What I'm saying is that your cutie mark looks nothing like one..."

Wow...she actaully knew what a caret was?

I must say, I was impressed! Maybe I'd been too hard on her-

Wait...

What did she say!?

I yanked my head around to stare at my flank, almost bowling Mo over in the process. To my utter dismay, the caret on my rump had changed yet again, this time rounding itself off into what looked like a lower-case ‘n’ without the ascender.

It had retained the lustrous gold pigment, but was now almost unrecognisable.

I promptly swore, smashed my hoof against a rock, and swore again as the pain swelled in my appendage.

This was definitely not my day...

---

Night fell quickly as we continued, cloaking our barren and depressing surroundings with a blanket of twilight.

As was the case with with my initial approach towards Trotfell, I noticed a hazy glow on the horizon as we closed in on our destination. Strangely though, I noticed that the light here was nowhere near as bright.

That seemed strange, considering that this was meant to be the former capital of Coltland. I had envisaged a grand city, filled with brilliant architecture and steeped in history.

Sadly, though, all I saw as we crossed over the horizon was a ruin.

Apparently, Edinbuck was a prime target during the war, attracting much attention from the Zebra bombardment. Having read extensively of the pre war eras back in the Stable, the remains of the once great city emphasised the extent of the devastation. Ornate stone buildings were now little more than piles of rubble, towers and skyscrapers lay dead on their sides and the streets played host to naught but weeds and skeletons.

It was...depressing, to say the least.

The light that had guided us over the last leg of the journey was being produced by a small shanty town that had been erected atop a large hill, where once, I recalled, there had been a royal castle; a refuge for the Princesses during official visits to Coltland.

Now, though, the castle was gone, but fortunately for the area's new inhabitants, the thick, defensive wall had partially survived and now granted them significant protection (in certain directions).

Approaching slowly, we made sure to take no provocative action, appearing instead to be passive and peaceful. After a brief dialogue and search from the local security forces, we were escorted inside.

The Trotfell guards immediately made their way to a pub similar to the one we had just left behind. In fact, it resembled Brandy's to such an extent that I half expected to find my hoofprints in the bar counter.

Oh, crap - I still haven't repaired that....

Following the guards closely, I caught up to Buckshot, and followed them inside.

The Edinbuck pub was called 'The Claymore', and featured a large, bladed weapon that was decoratively suspended behind the bar. As a group, we approached the bartender and made arrangements for accommodation. Sage bade us goodnight and retired to the rooms on the upper level, grimacing as the company once again saluted him in unison. Caring Heart and her nurse followed a short time later, after bartering to replace the medical supplies that the day's battle had cost us.

Mo, on the other hoof, had no interest in sleeping, and managed to slink out of her father's sight, disappearing outside into the cold, damp evening.

I remained with Buckshot who, still wearing his Commander's face, gestured to a table, where the remainder of the Trotfell expedition and I obediently deposited ourselves while he went off to the bar.

There was a new found respect between the guards and I, no doubt prompted in part by my superlatively theatric combat performance from earlier. Simply put: they no longer knew what to make of me, so they were doing their best to keep their respective distances while still trying to save face.

Every so often, I was able to catch the hardened bucks and mares at the table casting their eyes nervously back and forth, staring warily at me as we waited on Buckshot's return. Fortunately, it seemed that my attempted assassination of their comrade from earlier had been largely forgotten.

After several uncomfortably long minutes, Buckshot returned, shadowed by a diminutive unicorn waitress.

She was carrying a large, flat tray in her magic atop which sat a number of squat glasses...

...filled with amber liquid.

Bugger.

One by one, the glasses were set down on the heavily stained surface of the table, and the guards started to drink.

Naturally, I held back, in an attempt to add to the air of mystery that had recently developed around me.

The guards slowly began to relax as the perceived threat of me eviscerating them with my teeth became increasingly distant.

The drink began to flow freely over the next half hour as glass after glass of the 'fun disinfectant' (known locally as Wild Pegasus) was poured. Now well and truly unwound, the guards started to chat and joke. Some of them lit cigarettes, and a trio even began playing a card game.

Little by little, I felt myself being accepted into the group.

One of the mares, a unicorn called Armour Pierce, eventually plucked up the courage to talk to me amidst the Claymore's smoky din.

"So, uh...Compass, is it? Or do we call you 'The Doctor'. Heh..." she asked while nervously fidgeting with her mane.

Okay, so maybe they weren't entirely comfortable with me yet...

Perhaps it was time to open up diplomatic relations.

"Compass will do fine, thanks." I said warmly.

Armour was visibly relieved to hear me respond rationally - I could see it in her body language.

"So, like...what was up with that...thing you did today?"

"The fight? I, uh...just didn't want anyone else to get hurt; griffins included. So I decided to stop the conflict."

She placed her drink on the tabletop and squinted at me.

"You decided to end the fight? Just like that? You just...decided?

"Well, yeah...pretty much. Why? Is that weird?"

"Of course it's weird!" she suddenly shouted, "They were trying to kill us! Kill! As in brutally murder! And you just sort of...wandered into the crossfire and started talking! Less than five minutes later, the griffins were leaving without their guns, we were all still alive, and you'd nicked their leader's overcoat!"

"Sounds pretty straightforward to me." I said smugly as I shrugged.

Armour just stared, her head cocked to one side and her jaw dangling.

I shouldn't have been enjoying this as much as I was. In an attempt to conceal the smirk that was beginning to form on my face, I quickly brought my glass up to my mouth and took a triumphantly large swig.

My hubris was promptly rewarded by the whisky, which decided to thermally sterilise my mouth and throat on its way down.

Goddess, I hated this stuff...

While trying to stave off tears, and maintain some semblance of dignity, I noticed that another of the guards, an extremely broad Earth pony called Kerb Stomp, had taken an interest in the waitress serving us. He seemed to be commenting on how agreeable he found the appearance of her body.

"Holy fuck, that's a fine flank. Goddess, the things I'd do to that!" he whispered to the buck sitting next to him.

His friend, who had already been severely affected by the Claymore's refreshments, responded with an inebriated chuckle.

"No way you could afford an arse like that Stomp! That there's a premium lay."

Leaning back slightly, I turned to regard the mare whose posterior had drawn so much attention.

She was of average height and slim build, with a streaming pink mane. As she was facing away from me, I was subjected to a view of her hindquarters - the apparent source of Kerb Stomp's fascination.

What was he so interested in?

As I continued to stare, I found myself unintentionally examining the curve of her flank; the pert roundness of her rear. Her pleasant curvature guided my eyes from her the base of her legs upward. There was something...alluring about it; almost hypnotic...

I was suddenly finding it very difficult to get comfortable in my chair. A remarkable tightness had developed at the base of my belly, much like when I had-

Oh no.

Quickly crossing my legs, I prayed to Luna that nopony had noticed my predicament.

Naturally, since my luck was worse than that of the average killing joke victim, somepony already had. Kerb Stomp chuckled throatily next to me and leaned over to speak, sending a shiver down my spine as his warm, alcohol scented breath caressed my ear.

"You like what you see, eh? You've got pretty good taste for a Stable colt, I'll give you that!" he said loudly as he battered one of his enormous hooves into my back.

Hey turned to his 'colleagues' around the table and shouted happily at them:

"Hey everypony! How about we all chip in a few caps and get the hero of the day a decent lay?"

A riotous cheer erupted from the Trotfell guards as they all began to fish small piles of the Wasteland currency from their barding pockets. I hastily whispered into Armour Pierce's ear (seeing as how Buckshot was still on the other side of the table):

"What's happening? I don't like where this is going!"

She stopped and looked at me as a look of amused realisation spread across her face.

"Oh, yeah! Caring mentioned that earlier! Hey, Stomp, you can put your money away. Compass 'ere weren't allowed any sex in his Stable."

Kerb Stomp's mouth widened in surprise.

"What!? So he's a virgin!? You're a virgin!?" he said, turning to me in shock.

I didn't know exactly what a 'virgin' was, but I figured that being one was embarrassing. Mentally preparing myself, I sighed and admitted the state of affairs to Kerb Stomp.

"I suppose so..." I shrugged.

To my surprise, this only made the large buck smile more.

"Aw, mate! We've just got to get you laid now! Caps on the table, guys!"

The guards continued to shell out hoof-full after hoof-full of caps, building a substantial pile in the centre of the table. As I absent-mindedly glanced down at my hastily concealed 'organ', it suddenly dawned on me what Kerb Stomp and the others were talking about:

"Wait, wait, wait - hold on. Are you talking about...reproduction!?"

"Naw, mate, you use protection! That way there ain't any need for a shotgun wedding!"

"Protection? Against what? The...the insemination part?"

I frowned. Pay to engage in the act of reproduction, then protect against it? Was I missing something here?

"Then...what's the point?" I asked, confused.

Kerb Stomp responded with a deep, lurching laugh.

"It feels awesome, that's the point!"

Well...I suppose that made sense. It at least explained why there was a kind of crime associated with it, as both Sage and Buckshot had alluded to earlier.

"Oh. But...doesn't who you do it with matter? I mean, it strikes me as a pretty personal sort of affair, and you're trying to pay somepony to do it with me."

Taking a large swig from his glass, Kerb Stomp scrunched up his face in thought.

"I suppose that is kinda important, yeah. The first time's special, no doubt about that. Heh - we could find a nice bent colt for you if you'd prefer that to a mare!

"A colt!? You mean you can do it with ponies of the same gender!?"

He shrugged in response.

"Yeah, but who'd want to. Fuckin' gays..."

I looked across the table.

"Well, to be honest, if that's case, and the first time's meant to be special...I think I'd like mine to be with Buckshot."

At the mention of his name, Buckshot spat a mouthful a whisky across the table, and started to cough uncontrollably. At the same time, the pleasant, jovial murmur that had blossomed around the table halted abruptly, leaving a heart stopping void of silence.

Kerb Stomp, Armour Pierce and all of the other Trotfell guards just stared at me, seemingly in a unified state of utter astonishment mixed with a dash of outrage.

By Luna, what had I gone and stuck my hoof in now!?

A sudden, sharp pain started to spread through the back of neck as Buckshot, having launched himself from his chair, grabbed my mane with his teeth and in an impressive show of brute strength, threw me bodily out of the pub in a single swing of his broad neck.

I had just enough time to pick myself up off of the wet Edinbuck ground before he pinned me to the Claymore's exterior wall with his hooves.

"WHIT THE FLYING FUCK WIS THAT!?" he whispered forcefully, clearly concerned about being overheard.

"I-I was j-just telling the t-truth." I stammered, terrified that I had done something shamefully taboo.

"Ya stupit little fucker! Do ye have any idea what kind'y a position ye've put me in!? Whit if word were tay travel that Ah'm a...a...fuckin'...poofy wee colt cuddler!? How safe do ye think Trotfell'll be after that wee revealtion, eh!?"

"Buckshot...I-I'm sorry. Please believe me, I didn't know! I still don't. Tell me what I've done wrong and I'll try to fix it. You have my word!"

Exhaling loudly, Buckshot's breath quivered as her held back tears. He gritted his teeth and continued:

"Celestia's cunt, what am I gonnae do wi' you...? Ye cannaae just go aroun' sayin' stuff like that, Compass! Ah've git a reputation to uphold! Right now, ma squad's in there wondering if we're fightin' or fuckin'!"

"So...what I feel...what you feel between the two of us. It's...not allowed...?"

"It's not that it's not allowed, it's just that...some ponies dinnae like it."

"But what business is it of theirs! It's your body, your mind and your happiness that they're opinions pertain to! They don't matter!"

"That's just the thing, Compass. They do."

I sighed, trying not to well up.

"Well, then, Buckshot...just know that when you've stopped caring what those others think...I'll be waiting for you."

He looked helpless. Absolutely helpless.

"And, I forgive you, by the way."

"F-fer whit...?"

"For the black eye and bloody nose I know that you'll now have to give me..."

Tears began to flow freely down his face as he tried to look anywhere but into my eyes.

"Aw, fer fuck-! I-I cannae-!" he stuttered, "J-just fuck off, Compass! Just leave me the fuck alone!"

At that, Buckshot galloped off into the darkness of the Edinbuck ruins. I had no fears for his physical safety, but I was sick to my stomach with worry for his mind. How could such a strong pony be so absolutely defenceless?

As I stared into the darkness after him, I caught sight of a flash of blue hide out of my peripheral vision.

Mo had finally returned from wherever she had wandered off to, and was now rapidly approaching me. Without a single word, she grabbed the collar of my overcoat and started pulling me in the opposite direction of the pub, gravitating towards one of the smaller shacks. It was tucked away in a corner, out of both sight and mind. Curiously, I hadn't noticed the diminutive structure until Mo had begun to approach it.

I found myself standing in front of it, and the sweet smell of incense wafting into my nostrils. It was a welcome scent after the harsh reality of the Wasteland had become apparent to me over the last couple of days.

Knocking gently, Mo remained uncharacteristically silent and waited for a response.

A strangely accented voice penetrated the wood:

"Who is it that comes to greet? Enter now that we may meet."

Pushing the scrap wood door inward, Mo and I crossed the threshold into the tiny dwelling. It was permeated by a wonderfully warm light that was being generated by a dinky little wood burning stove in the corner.

Sitting elegantly in front of the fire was pony covered from head to hoof in thick black and white stripes.

The Zebra turned to regard her houseguests:

“Ah, Moon Shadow! I knew you would return. Come; sit down, but take care not to burn.”

“Thanks Zeanna.” Mo said quietly.

We laid down as our host had requested, resting our legs on the softly lined floor. I couldn't immediately identify the material used for the upholstery, although it had a strange, almost organic texture.

“This is the buck of whom you spoke? Interesting! I have never met one of these Stable folk.” Zeanna rhymed.

I found myself wondering what would happen if she were to be confronted by a word like ‘orange’.

“Yeah, this is him, Zeanna.” Mo responded, gesturing towards me, “He's been suffering from amnesia recently, and I was hoping you could, well...take a look, maybe?”

Take a look?

At what? My memories? Why did I have a bad feeling about where this was going?

Zeanna caught my concerned look and smiled warmly.

“Worry not young buck, for there is nothing to fear. You see, I have a talent, and it is that of the seer.”

Winking at me, the zebra turned to Mo and received a small pouch. From the jingle as it passed between their hooves, I guessed that it was full of caps.

Gracefully rising to her hooves, Zeanna laid down directly in front of me.

She grasped my head with her hooves and, closing her eyes, began to breathe deeply. With each inhalation, her pulse slowed more and more, until she was as still Eagle Ridge.

There was something eerily calming about her touch, a feeling that was compounded when she began to hum quietly under her breath.

I felt a comforting weariness overtake my body.

The aroma of the incense, the warm crackle of the fire, the softness of the unidentified carpet, the deep, melodic tone of Zeanna's voice. It was all so...comfortable. I could feel every single tension, fear and worry flow gently out of my body.

I was so calm...so safe...so tired.

My eyes drooped and my breathing slowed as a fuzziness filled my mind.

Would Mo and Zeanna notice if I caught a quick forty winks?

What if I started snoring? That would be pretty embarrassing...

I'd just have to hold...it......together...for...a few...more...

...nevermind....

---

The walls of the Stable encircled me in a cool, metal cocoon as I trotted happily through its labyrinthine corridors.

Thousands of doors; thousands of rooms.

I'd been here before. Many times, in fact. And I knew the layout well.

For instance, you see that door on the left there? That's the day I solved my first partial differential equation.

The one at the end of the corridor? My first encounter with Atom's raging temper.

"There's nothing in here that I don't already know about, Zeanna! You and Mo won’t find anything!" I shouted at the walls.

No response.

Ah, well - she'd realise eventually. At least then I'd get some peace from Mo.

Continuing down the corridor, I peeked at the emotions etched into the metal of the doors.

There's the day I met Bulkhead...

Ah. That one's my first work demerit. I cried...

The first words I blurted out to Petri...

The corridor's end (or beginning, depending on how you looked at it) was now dead ahead.

My birthing day - the gooiest of all my memories

"See, Zeanna? Nothing else here!" I reiterated, "You can wake me now, and get this nonsense over and done wi-"

I turned around while grunting impatiently, expecting to be met with the wall that marked the beginning of my life - the point before which I didn't exist.

Instead...

I found another door.

A blue door...

A blue door labelled with the words rather than an emotion.

What the hay was a 'POLICE PUBLIC CALL BOX', and, more to the point, what was it doing in my mind.

I stood stock still, terrified of what may lay beyond the malevolent wooden portal.

This door felt different from the others...

It felt...

Forbidden...

Like I wasn't allowed in...

But...it was my memory! How could I not be allowed in a part of my own memory!?

Gathering my courage, I placed one of my hooves upon the handle. The world around me groaned, and a dull pain began to bloom behind my eyes.

A warning...

You know what I think of your warning, Mr. Blue Door?

I think you can go and shove it up your arse!

Pressing gently against the wood, I opened the door and began to step inside. A gentle, shimmering light spilled out, soaking the corridor in gold; the same gold that had consumed me during my first encounter with the-

No...

I couldn’t believe it.

There, sitting directly in front of me, was the TARDIS control room.

Of course – what an ingenious hiding place...prior to the beginning of my life. Who can say they've ever remembered something that far back?

I caught sight of the bronze plaque out of the corner of my eye as I circled the room in disbelief.

T.A.R.D.I.S.
TYPE - 40
MEMORY MINDSPACE,
COMPASS

At least my psyche had a sense of humour.

I reached out to touch the metal, when I felt a wrongness envelop me.

I wasn't meant to be here! This wasn't for me to see!

Suddenly, there was a mighty bong, like a thousand clocks chiming at once, and the crystal column began to glow. It brightened quickly, bleaching the room with its light.

A wave of sounds, images and emotions washed over my form, forcing me to back away from the console.

The chaos streamed smoothly past as I strained at the new brightness of my surroundings. Through it all, I was able to make out a strained, crying voice.

It wasn't its volume that made it so noticeable, though. Nor was its frequency a defining feature.

It was its tone.

The voice was just so...sad; so disappointed and morose. It was making me tear up after only a few seconds of exposure.

"...failed..." it wept, "...I...failed...all of them..."

I leant forward into the wind of time that had engulfed me, trying to close in on source of the voice. Somehow, I just knew it would be able to give me some answers.

I had to find it!

"Who are you!?" I shouted.

The response was a wet, shuddering whisper.

"...failed..."

"I have to know who you are!"

"...all of them..."

“Are you...? Are you the Doctor?”

“...so many....gone...all gone...”

“Please! I need your help!”

As soon as the sentence left my lips, the voice roared, blasting me out of the room and down the corridor.

"NOOOOOOOO!"

As the roar continued, it quickly raised in pitch, transforming from the tortured buck's voice to that of a panicked mare.

Zeanna's terrified scream pulled at my being, and I was torn from the Mindspace as the connection we shared was torn asunder.

---

I was plunged back into reality to find Zeanna rushing into the corner of her shack, her eyes streaming with tears of absolute horror.

"Y-you are of the stars! Born of them! Evil! Get out! Get away!"

I looked to Mo and realised that she was just as taken aback as I was - she was sitting stock still, a wide look of shock spread across her face.

"Zeanna..." I said while tentatively approaching her, "What is it? What did you see in-"

"AWAY!" she suddenly screamed, as fresh tears careened down her face. She buried her head in her hooves and cowered, quivering behind the stove.

All that Mo and I could do was back out of the shack, as its owner broke down and hid within her own home.

---

We walked silently back to the pub, both trying in vain to process what had just happened. Mo had taken one look at my face as we left Zeanna’s shack and thought better of asking me anything.

I had simply stared into her eyes, hoping that my expression would convey the necessary information.

As we reached the pub, we found that most of the patrons had retired for the evening. With a tiny nod, I bade Mo goodnight, and ascended the stairs towards the rooms that the males of the Trotfell contingent had hired.

A floodgate had been opened in my mind, and I was now fully aware of the ‘fictitious’ time traveller’s past.

His past?

My past?

Was there even any point in making that distinction anymore?

If the I really was the Doctor…then…where did Compass fit in?

More to the point: where would I end up if and when the Doctor took over completely. I’d already started to emulate his behaviour, and now I was even beginning to see his memories! For all I knew, his entire psyche could be slowly overwriting my own!

What would happen to me when he was finished moving into my skull?

How much of me would be lost?

How much would remain?

My mind was imploding – it was altogether too much for me.

As I passed a partially open door, my gaze wandered inside and, to my surprise, found Buckshot sleeping soundly within. Without a second thought, I stepped inside and gently pulled back the covers, sliding onto the mattress beside him. As I slowly wrapped my forelegs around his body Buckshot squirmed suddenly, reaching for his shotgun as he turned around to investigate the uninvited bed guest. His hostile frown softened immediately upon realising it was me, and I felt his muscles relax as he accepted my presence.

Upon his face, I recognised the deeply carved streaks of protracted crying, and he no doubt noticed the encroaching despair in mine.

Without saying a word, he turned around and tightly hugged me.

We fell into a deep, warm sleep as our embrace dissolved the troubling and cruel reality around us.

As I closed my eyes that night, I braced myself for the coming days, and the knowledge that with each passing hour, more and more of me would be lost.

Lost to the Doctor.

<<<<< O >>>>>

"What do you mean 'Time Lord technology'!?" Ditzy exclaimed.

"I thought you said that you were the last of your kind, and that the TARDIS was all that remained of Gallopfreyan technology!"

"I...I am. At least, I...thought I was..." I stammered back.

How was this possible!? The Time Lords and their planet were sealed in an envelope of space-time so that the Time War wouldn't be able to spill over into the rest of the Universe. My family, my friends and my home were all locked away forever.

I simply had to investigate this!

“Come on Ditzy!” I shouted, a mischievous grin forming on my face, “Allon-!”

“Allons-y?” the grey mare interrupted.

“Ahem. Yes...quite.” I grumbled in response.

---

As we exited the TARDIS, we found ourselves in a broom cupboard attached to a spartanly furnished office. The style was somewhat surprising for Equestria - I'd never seen that much chrome before in my life.

Noticing, a secretary's desk in the corner, I trotted over to what looked like a computer terminal. Surely Ditzy's species hadn't developed digital computers - last time I checked they'd only just managed steam locomotives!

Rounding the bulky plastic casing, I was amazed to find numerous lines of emerald green text glowing cheerfully in front of me.

ROBRONCO INDUSTRIES UNIFIED OPERATING SYSTEM
COPYRIGHT ROBRONCO INDUSTRIES
- SERVER 7 -

========================================================================

----- Stable-Tec Trottingham Facility -----

Welcome, Miss Shine

Please select function:

1) Appointments/Schedule
2) Word processor
3) Calendar
4) Office security
5) Local intercom
6) Relay messaging
7) Solitaire

Amazing.

Truly amazing.

Not only did the Equestrians have computers and networks thereof, but they had even managed to developed that most important of innovations; the true mark of a computationally advanced civilisation:

Digital solitaire.

Whipping out the Sonic Screwdriver, I ran a quick diagnostic scan of the apparatus, and was bowled over with yet another surprise:

It was nuclear powered!

"What've you found, Doctor?" Ditzy asked from across the room.

"A testament to your species' ingenuity, Ditzy. It seems that Equestria has gone through its industrial revolution in record time – the population has arrived at what looks like a computer age. They’ve even developed a type of nuclear power!"

"Nuclear? What's that? Sounds kinda cute!" my winged companion giggled.

"A lovely sentiment, but not really applicable, I'm afraid. 'Nuclear' relates to a technology that allows the derivation of power from special materials called 'isotopes'. It's a pretty amazing, and dangerous, step for such a small interval of time."

"Dangerous? I thought you said it was ingenious?" she replied with a squint.

"I did. And it is. But nuclear energy can be harnessed and used as a weapon. It's a 'with great power comes great responsibility' sort of deal."

I turned to regard the rest of the room.

"Anyway, Spiderpony quotations aside, we're here to find a piece of Gallopfreyan technology. Where's the secretary? This is a secretary's office, after all. It should have a secretary in it, right?"

Ditzy's eyes lit up as she recognised my desire to continue.

"Ooh! Does that mean it's cover story time? I want to be, uh...oh! Shadow Flash, Private Investigator Extraordinaire!"

I subtly rolled my eyes.

"Ditzy, do you remember the last time you tried to introduce us to the locals?"

Her reverie suddenly vanished as an embarrassing memory was pulled to the surface of her conscious mind.

"Erm...no...no, I don't..."

I raised an eyebrow and fixed Ditzy with a stare.

"Oh, really? What about the time before that then? Or our trip to the Stranraer expanse? Remember either of those?"

A bright red blush filled her cheeks as she avoided my gaze.

"Th-those were...uh...accidents! Yeah, accidents! I won't do it again, I promise! Just let me try the psychic paper one more time! Pleeeease!"

Sighing, I passed her the psychic paper from one of the magic 'pockets' that Twilight Sparkle had helped me craft during my time in Ponyville. Honestly, I didn't know how I'd lived so long without them!

"Alright then, Ditzy, shall we have a go at practicing our introductions?"

She answered with an enthusiastic nod.

"Okay - I'll start." I said, "Ahem! Halt! Who goes there?"

"Shadow Flash, PI!" Ditzy announced dramatically, holding my wallet out in front of her like a police badge, "And this is my assistant, Clockwork, of the, uh, TARDIS Society. We're here to inspect your facility! Here's our authorisation."

Ditzy eagerly flipped the inner panels of the wallet around, displaying the other side of the psychic paper so that it appeared as if she had just produced a second set of papers. I had to admit, she was getting better at this.

Just one slight hiccup, though...

"And that's why you're not allowed to do our introductions." I said quietly.

"Huh? But I...I did everything right! I showed them the psychic paper, I made up aliases for both of us, I even pretended to flip to another form of ID!"

"Yes, you did, and you made a fine job of it. It's just that-"

I gently grabbed the synthetic leather wallet from her hoof and, turning it round, held the psychically infused card up to her eyes.

"-according to this, Ditzy...you're a muffin."

"Wh-what!?" she squeaked, squinting to read the imprint her mind had left on the card.

"Says right here: 'Muffin'. Underneath the embossed gold image of what I believe is a double-chocolate-blueberry-special from Sugarcube Corner."

"Oh..." sighed Ditzy, her ears flattening against her head in disappointment. I sidled up to the disheartened pegasus and extended a foreleg around her shoulders.

"Hey now, don't worry about - you are getting better. Hell, I probably will be assisting you soon enough-"

"What the hay! How did you get in here!? I'm calling security!" squawked a panicked voice from one of the room's larger doors.

"Oh! Hi there! I'm the Doctor and this is Ditzy Doo. We're unauthorised intruders." I announced with a cheerful grin.

Wait.

That wasn't right...

"Y-you're what!? Help! Security!" screamed the pink mare as she galloped out of the room.

I turned around to find Ditzy shooting a pair of vicious visual daggers at me. Despite her somewhat squint ocular alignment, the stare was still quite intimidating.

"Heh heh...whoops." I giggled nervously, "Maybe we should get out of-"

"There they are! Spies! Arrest them!" the pastel coloured equine shouted, as she re-entered the room flanked by two burly Earth pony guards.

Worryingly enough, they were carrying what appeared to be chemically propelled projectile weapons. This did not bode well for us, or for ponies of Equestria - just how far had their militarisation gone?

"DOWN ON THE GROUND, HOOVES BEHIND YOUR HEADS!" one of the guards barked.

Now, I'd been in situations like this many times before. And from my extensive and varied experience of making stuff up, I'd never found anything that makes a guard back down faster than the threat of a surprise inspection.

"Ah! Very good. Excellent, in fact.” I said nodding, “That couldn't have taken you more than eight seconds!"

"Eh?" the guards replied as they glanced back and forth at one and other.

"Your response time. It's very impressive, isn't it?" I turned confidently to Ditzy who, to her credit, continued my gambit without missing a single beat.

"Oh, yes. Very impressive. We might even put you in for commendations."

"A-an inspection!?" gawked the guards, "I-I'll need to see some ID, sir."

"Certainly." I once again pulled out the psychic paper and presented it to their beady, combative eyes, "I'm Clockwork and this is my assistant, Miss Shadow Flash."

I heard a tiny, whispered 'squee' emanate from Ditzy's direction.

"We're here for an inspection of your security infrastructure and intrusion countermeasures. Your locks could do with some improvement, but the security forces so far have been outstanding! Keep it up!"

"O-oh! Thank you, sir! Will you be needing anything else, sir?" they barked, bringing their hooves up to their brows in a ridiculous salute.

"Well, for starters, you can stop saluting me."

"Very good, sir. Permission to return to our posts, sir?"

As I opened my mouth to respond, the double doors behind me flew open to reveal a pale yellow Earth pony with a fiery crimson mane neatly tied with a pink ribbon.

With an unmistakable southern drawl, Applebloom marched authoritatively into her crowded secretary's office and began shouting at its occupants:

"Whut the hay is all the ruckus out here!? Is it too much to ask for an engineer to be left in p-!? Ditzy!? Mr. Clockwork!? What are y'all doing here!?"

---

Once Applebloom had dismissed the guards and assured her secretary that we weren't spies, she invited Ditzy and I into her lushly appointed office. As we were shown inside, I noticed a bank of terminals like the one outside that took up the entirety of the far wall. An impressive series of technical diagrams was littering the monitors.

I was able to recognise reactor schematics, circuit diagrams, high-level program code, geographic survey reports - all conveniently displayed so that a single pony could access and manipulate all of the data at once. Applebloom had apparently become quite the brain – I knew that filly would go far the moment I met her.

"So..." she said enthusiastically as she jumped into a lavish, comfy-looking chair situated behind an enormous drafting desk.

"MoWT Inspectors, huh? That would explain where y'all have been for the last few years. Did Applejack send ya to check up on her l'il sis or something?"

"Uh, yeah." I replied, still engrossed in the myriad of information displayed on the screens behind her.

The psychic paper had done well in crafting our aliases, setting us up as agents of an important government agency, but unfortunately, it had also served to confirm my worst fears about the Equestrian’s recent technological advancements.

They were driven by conflict.

I felt a pit open in the bottom of my stomach as I read the magic little card: ‘Ministry of Wartime Technology’ it had said.

Wartime.

I had had such high hopes for the Equestrians and their simple, cheerful way of life. I didn’t care about the specifics of this conflict - I simply hoped that they would survive it, and that they would be able to gain some wisdom from the inevitable pain it would bring.

After all, I didn’t think I could survive the destruction of another promising species...

"You know Applejack." Ditzy said with a smile, covering for me as I tried desperately to steer clear of a vortex of dark memories, "Family’s always been her top priority!"

One of Applebloom’s eyebrows slowly rose by an almost imperceptible distance. When next she spoke, a miniscule hint of suspicion highlighted her words.

“Uh-huh...” she said as swung gently back and forth in her seat, “And when wus the last time y’all saw AJ?”

“Oh, uh...l-last week. Yeah, she asked us to come here personally to-”

“-see how I wus doin’?” Applebloom interrupted.

“Uh...y-yeah?” Ditzy cautiously replied while shooting me distress signals with her eyes.

I was too interested in the screens to notice her need for assistance – there was something gravely wrong about the data on those displays.

“Right.” Applebloom continued, as she nonchalantly pulled a high calibre revolver from one of her desk drawers and began absentmindedly loading it with bullets.

“Here’s whut’s gonna happen. Y’all are gonna tell me who you’re really working for and why y’all are here, or I’m gonna turn y’all over to the Ministry o’ Morale fer spyin’.”

The weapon’s cylinder snapped shut and Applebloom confidently aimed it in our direction.

“Uh...Doctor? This isn’t going to plan!” Ditzy squeeked.

Once again, I ignored her – that ‘something wrong’ was rapidly turning into ‘something disastrous’. I could feel it in the pit of my stomach; a precipice that was drawing closer and closer with every character I read.

“Y’all are missin’ fer years,-” Applebloom continued, “-and now ya just turn up outta the blue when we’re at a critical point in our war with the Zebras? Call me jaded, but-”

“WE’RE AT WAR!? W-WHAT!? A WAR WITH WHO!?” Ditzy choked.

“The...Zebras?” Applebloom responded, her expression suddenly taking on a hint of confusion, “Y’all are meant t’be from the Ministry o’ Wartime Technology! Whut kinda spies are y’all!?”

Ditzy ignored her question, instead turning to me with a distraught fire burning behind her damp eyes.

“Doctor, please tell me this isn’t right! Please! This has to be an alien illusion, or an alternate reality or...or something! Just please tell me it’s not real!”

I pulled my searching eyes away from the monitors and looked at Ditzy, noting the look of absolute confusion that Applebloom was now wearing.

“I’m sorry, Ditzy. The fabric of Equestria’s history has a dark patch in it; a place of convergence and singularity. A point in time and space that is forever fixed. I’ve always tried to avoid them, but...”

I sighed and looked away, a wave of guilt bubbling though my insides.

“I’m almost certain that we’ve arrived at a pivotal time in your planet’s history. Regardless of whether this war is won or lost...Equestria will never be the same again.”

Ditzy took a moment to absorb my words, and stared at the ground as they sank in. Applebloom was the next to speak:

“Wh-whut the hay are y’all talking about!? You’re acting as if-“

Applebloom never finished her sentence.

Why?

Because she was too busy falling off of her chair in surprise as I jumped up onto the desk.

“THAT’S IT!” I shouted pointedly, as the revolver was hastily brought to bear again, “That data series! Third monitor from the left, second from the bottom! Where did you get it!?”

“S-stay there! I’ll shoot!” Applebloom shouted.

“If you were really going to shoot us you would have done it already!” I shouted, “Applebloom, this is unbelievably important – where did you get that data series?”

She was still in shock from my sudden outburst - her shuddering jaw was definitely not the best place for the trigger of a loaded gun right now. All she did was maintain her frightened stare. Lowering my voice, I slowly stepped down from the desk and calmly closed in on the shaking mare, making sure not to startle or intimidate her further.

“How long have you known me, Applebloom?”

“S-since I wus a filly - more than twenty years.” came the oscillatory response.

“Okay. And who am I?”

“Uh...you’re Clockwork. Y-y’all are – were – a craftspony from Ponyville.”

“Not quite.” I said simply, “Applebloom, my name isn’t Clockwork. Most just call me ‘The Doctor’. And I’m not a craftspony, nor am I a spy. I’m a time traveller...”

I let the words sink in for a moment before I continued.

“More important than that...I’m not even from this planet.”

Applebloom’s eyes were wider then most moons as she stared in awe at the tail being spun before her.

“My race call themselves the ‘Time Lords’, and we come...well, came from a planet in the Canterborous Constellation called ‘Gallopfrey’.”

I extending a hoof to help her up.

“My race was once the most powerful in the Universe, and they were consumed by a war that at one time threatened all of Creation. I’ve seen whole galaxies ablaze with conflict, entire planets enveloped by fire, civilisations burnt from existence with the press of a single button.”

I looked deep into her eyes as she fully righted herself.

“So believe me when I say that I am no fan of war. I’m here to help. Okay?”

I smiled as warmly and as genuinely as I could while Applebloom nodded gently.

“O-okay...” she said, still in shock.

“Applebloom, I need to know where you got that table of numbers.” I repeated, pointing at the offending monitor.

“They’re produced by an equation I worked out. They show-”

“The sub-ether harmonic resonance frequencies of extra-dimensional manifold geometries. Yeah, I know – I need you to tell me where you got the equation from.”

“I didn’t get it from anywhere! I derived it maself – took almost six months o’ head-scratchin’.” Applebloom responded, her voice tinted with a distinct tone of pride.

“So, you’re telling me that you derived the analytical solution to the Ponega-Rassipony inequality by yourself!? In six months!?” I shouted, my jaw trying its hardest to be one with the floor.

“Well...yeah.” Applebloom smiled back bashfully.

Now that was impressive. Only a handful of races were that developed in the field of temporal mechanics, and only one had ever resolved that particular analytical solution.

You can probably guess which one.

That must have been what was giving us the strange readings back in the TARDIS...

Applebloom, the daughter of a farmer, had just become the first Equestrian in history to develop the theory of temporal-spatial relativity!

In short: she had taken the first steps to building a TARDIS.

I would have congratulated her.

I would have wished her well.

I would have left Equestria that day with my head held high, confident that the safety and stability of time and space were in the hooves of new custodians, a thousand times kinder and more sincere than those that came before them.

I would have...if it hadn’t been for one thing:

I’d never met an Equestrian time traveller.

The realisation weighed on me, heavier than a dwarf star; a knowledge so grave and depressing that it was if I was feeling the loss of my race all over again.

“Applebloom...” I whispered hoarsely, “...I’m so sorry...”

I turned to leave, my head hung low. Tears were beginning to pool at the corners of my eyes, but I was determined to keep it together, even if it meant hiding from Ditzy in the TARDIS while I wept.

They were to die...

All of them...

And I was powerless to stop the destruction...

As I trotted morosely past Applebloom’s desk, my eyes passed over the controls for her giant computer and her impressive array of drafting tools. It was such a shame; such an injustice.

This race had gone from steam powered locomotive engines to time travel in under thirty years. A race that showed that promise simply did not deserve such a dire-

Wait.

Steam power to time travel in thirty years!?

How the hell had I not found that suspicious!?

Progressing from steam propulsion to nuclear fission in that space of time was difficult enough to fathom, but time travel!?

It was impossible!

I whipped around suddenly as a ray of hope streamed into my consciousness.

“Applebloom! That equation! When did you figure it out? What was the date? What were you thinking at the time? Tell me everything about the six months you said it took you to resolve the solution.”

Still somewhat unused to my outbursts, Applebloom took a moment to regain her composure and reply:

“It...it was a Thursday...I think. Ah...or wus it a Wednesday...? Hmm...ya know, Ah...Ah can’t seem to remember. In fact...Ah can’t...Ah can’t remember any of it!”

Her face filled with fear and confusion as she tried desperately to recall her movements.

She’d never be able to, though – I knew a psychic block when I saw one.

As frightened as Applebloom was, I found myself grinning widely. She was being manipulated! That’s why there weren’t any Equestrian time travellers – they’d never invented the technology in the first place!

But that wasn’t all – the source of my elation was a far more profound realisation:

This meant that Equestria might not have been doomed after all! This war – the conflict that was apparently driving their technological renaissance - might not have been the catastrophe I had originally feared!

Unfortunately, my reverie was short lived - a niggling thought was burrowing through my mind:

If Applebloom hadn’t derived the solution to the Inequality...who had?

As if in response to my thought, the intercom on Applebloom’s desk suddenly crackled into life, snapping both of us out of our respective trances.

“Miss Apple? Doctor Maestro is here to see you.” the receptionist pony stated.

Doctor Who?

Applebloom depressed a red button next to the intercom’s light bulb and replied into a microphone mounted on top of the desk.

“Can this wait Gem? I’m in a...meeting.”

Why did that name sound so familiar?

“He says it’s important, ma’am. I don’t think he’s going to go away.”

Maestro...Maestro...it was on the tip of my-

Oh no.

“Oh, for Luna’s sake - send him in.”

The double doors of Applebloom’s office swung open, and I stared in disbelief at the equine standing between them.

The Master stared coolly back.

<<<<< O >>>>>

---

Footnote: Level Up!

New Sonic setting: 14C - Dismantle+
The Dismantle setting just got a power boost! This powerful sonic wave sets up catastrophic vibration patterns in large structures, shaking them to pieces. When used on smaller devices, it can be applied over large areas.

Perk added: Doctor Who!?
Past memories have been awakened within you, granting you the skills and experiences of their original owner. You gain 1 point to both your INT and CHAR stats.

Comments

[Starlight_Tinker]

I realise that it's been over a month since I posted anything, so here's a double length chapter to make up for the wait

Seriously though, I have a good reason. You see, a few of my colleagues and I have been designing an experiment module for a sounding rocket that will be launched by the European Space Agency next March. Now, since we're still undergraduates, this is a pretty big deal for us, so we're essentially at the mercy of the design review panel at ESA.

That means that whenever they ask for a design revision, we have to get it done. Fast.

And, well, they've asked for several of them this month, and as the mechanical designer, I've had to drop a number of things at short notice in order to fix stuff as it came up.

If you're interested at all in what I've been up to , you can take a look at our Facebook page or our website (there's a competition going on between all the different teams designing stuff for the rocket over whose experiment is the most popular, so feel free to like us on FB ).

On the upside though, all this time away from FimFic has allowed me to do a lot of plot development, so I can assure all that some pretty cool scenes are coming soon

Once again, thanks for your patience everypony Your readership means a lot to me

[Deathpony]

nice ending and is Compass gonna turn into the Doctor? I hope not anyways good chapter

[Mo057]

WOOOHOOO new chapter !

I have to read this immediately...

Who needs sleep anyway ?

[DannyJ]

I wouldn't be a good commenter if I didn't criticise, so here are my complaints. There are two of them.

One; inappropriate line breaks in the middle of speech. This:

“I’m going to ungag you now,” I said calmly.

“But understand - if you scream, I’ll put it back in, okay?”

Should look more like this:

“I’m going to ungag you now,” I said calmly, “But understand - if you scream, I’ll put it back in, okay?”

Otherwise it briefly makes the reader think that a new character has started speaking, and that gets annoying fast. It's a small mistake, but it's a noticeable and prevalent one. You'd do well to not repeat it again. Less noticeable, but I feel I should point it out anyway, is that you capitalise species names like "zebra" and the "earth" in "earth ponies". You aren't supposed to do that.

In a story where I can find literally no other complaints, these ones stand out all the more to more to me. I'm liking the story developments thus far, and I'm interested to see where this is going. You've got something good going here. Fix those two quirks, and I'd damn near call it perfect.

[Cadmium]

Woha for such a long time no chapter and then you bomb us into the ground with story progression!
I really like you, you know?
And this is the most brilliant idea to structure a crossover between FO:E and Doctor Who, i love this story!

[4n4rchy]

Ah, yes, dear old Koschei always has something to do with it? Doesn't he? And I'm pretty sure this "sentinel" isn't a part of stabletec engineering either, hmmm? I do appreciate how you've made your main character's affections meant to a pony of the same gender, not many people do so.
As always, fantastic job, I will be patiently waiting for your next chapter, and hoping (probably in vain) for the Rani to come along. Onwards and upwards!
P. S.: "The Doctor is dying" by chameleon circuit comes to mind.

[Admiral Stoic Rum]

886169

I agree with His sentiments on speech. When you break up dialogue like that, with a paragraph spacing, I cannot track who is speaking and the conversation is far too difficult to follow if there is a long exchange of dialogue.

[Starlight_Tinker]

884085

Thanks. That was a cool scene to write And, no - Compass won't be a complete carbon copy of the Doctor (I'd essentially be killing off my OC off if that happened). Compass's ultimate fate will turn into a pretty big question for him during the course of the story.

888451

Aw, shucks Thanks, mate

885054

Sleep is totally overrated. Caffeine and owl-like behaviour FTW!

886169>>904143

Thanks for the critique gents Duly noted for future chapters (I've modified Chapter 5 with your suggestions and totally agree with you regarding the readability of the dialogue).

890881

Thank you, Top Hat With regard to the Sentinel, when have the Doctor's foes ever been terrestrial? Hopefully, you'll be pleased by the stramash of sci-fi references I plan to cram into Chapter 6 (when we'll get to meet the Sentinel in the flesh...well, alloy)

I wasn't planning on including the Rani as a character (I've never been much of a fan of her).

By the way, I'd never heard the term 'Koschei' before, so that was an interesting read on Wikipedia

Finally, that song is absolutely PERFECT - it sets the exact mood I was trying to convey during the mind exploration scene. Cheers

[4n4rchy]

908479
A big question? The greatest question? Hidden in plain sight? The one were silence will fll if it is asked?
Yeah, you can see where I'm going with this...

On a side note, the Master's history is indeed very sad, full of suffering.
Born alone, driven mad to become a vessel, sold to death by his best friend, killed repeatedly only to be resurrected as a weapon, featured in unflattering fanfictions, forced to abandon who he was and finally, killed again, but this time in a flash of glory.

I am curious to see what you'll make of him here, my friend, and I'm confident I won't be dissapointed.

[Admiral Stoic Rum]

Oh I( had a thought a little while ago, You see the main issue you seem to confront from people is his little Identity crisis. I am of the opinion clockwork does not have to worry about losing his identity to the doctor's memories. Essentially he is like a regeneration, all the knowledge memories and experiences of the Doctor, but he is still his own personality. His own unique tastes and ideals and way of thought, is is Not like you see all of the Doctors using Venusian Jujitsu.

[Lesolan - Rest In Peace]

Ah, crap. I don't particularly care for the DW integration, but the Compass parts are so good it makes up for it. Now I have to wait for the next chapter...
chzbronies.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-applebloom-and-the-cherubs.jpg

[Brink]

Awsome story so far.

I have to say I prefere "The Doctor came from another world" scenario over the "Doctor is from the same world' scenario. It usually adds a good bit more comical situations and adds more to the story as a whole. But thats just my opinion and this is your story so you can do what you want with it.

I also cant wait for more derpy. I

[Brink]

Wait, I just noticed Sage's cutie mark is a pocket watch and thats what The Master's ponified versions cutie mark usually is

[Noclipper]

Um, I would avoid using the terms English and French. We already have a poni name for the latter, Fancy! And it follows it was spoken in Faris, the capital of Prance.

> wide birth

Should be wide berth.

[StormyVenture]

WT...? Darn these confounded Time Lords, always screwing up someone else's happy world.

[FoodFrogs]

With each inhalation, her pulse slowed more and more, until she was as still Eagle Ridge.

As still AS Eagle Ridge? :T