End Of Peaches

by Dash The Stampede

Harmonious Fuzz Extinction

Princess Celestia sat behind the Royal Dining Table, Luna at her right, Twilight at her left, and Cadence to Twilight's left. A veritable Peachy feast awaited the quartet of Peach-smitten Princesses, peach cobbler, peach pie, peach schnapps, and a veritable army's worth of dinner trays stacked full of inventive and foreign peach dishes.

"I declare the Equestrian Peachy Princess Dinner officially open!" Celestia raised her glass, a toast to the glory that is the peach.

"Dear sister, why have we not discovered this morsel sooner?" Luna laughed as she raised her glass.

"I Freakin' LOOOVE Peaches!" Twilight raised her glass.

"I find these fruits to be the aphrodisiac of life!" Cadence said with a large grin as she raised her glass.

"To Peaches!" Celestia called out.

"TO PEACHES!" came the shouted reply from the other three.

The feast was a one-sided fight of epic proportions, the plates falling before the black hole stomachs of the rulers of Equestria. Peaches were maimed and crushed in bitter loss before succumbing to the onslaught that faced them across the table. Eventually, the peach supply ran dry, its waters of golden fuzzy glory trickling their remnants into the stomachs of the yet-to-be-satisfied Princess Hoard.

"I DEMAND MORE PEACHES!" Twilight slammed her glass down, shattering it on impact.

"Indeed, dear sister, we appear to have run out of our glorious dinner stash!" Luna furrowed her brow at Celestia, who frowned.

"I see. I had hoped it would not come to this, but...in the center of our nation lies the greatest orchard in all the land! This orchard grows the only peaches Equestria has ever seen, each one a succulent, juicy, picture-perfect peach. I had believed they could supply the nation readily, as peach consumption has been falling over the last few centuries, but it appears the orchards are poised to profit from the increase in popularity." Celestia took a small sip of what remained of her schnapps. "That is why we must claim those peaches for ourselves! We cannot sit by, wallowing in this non-peachy room, whilst fresh peaches grow just outside of Canterlot! Follow me, to the Grand Peach Orchard. Our prize awaits!" Celestia rose from the table, and flew out the window above Twilight. "Tally Ho, Peachers!"

"Should we maybe...stop her?" Cadence asked the remaining princesses, each of whom had a similar look of confusion on their features.

"It would not be wise to anger my sister, young Cadence. Come, we must make haste! The fate of the peaches lies in our hooves!" Luna took to the air, soaring after Celestia.

Twilight and Cadence glanced at each other. They smirked at the same time.

"Race you." Twilight offered.

"You're ON! ThreetwooneGO!" Cadence rocketed out the window, while Twilight gave chase.

It was indeed a sight to see, the four Princesses drifting above the clouds, homing in on their target: Grand Peach Orchards. It was at that exact moment that Peachy Tea noticed the gleam of metal above the mountains in the distance. She quickly gathered her friends and co-workers, who took in the sight with mild amusement. The gleaming eventually became four distinct objects, each hurtling dangerously close to the Main Field. Peachy Tea glimpsed a pair of wings and a horn on each object. They were the silhouettes of the Princesses! Peachy Tea scrambled to get everypony out of the way of the incoming entourage of Peach-Deprived Princesses.

"Everypony get down!" Peachy threw herself over a bush, taking a few workers with her, the ponies tumbling through the weeds to safety.

All was silent. In the dead silence of the world, one thing made itself known to Peachy, and it was that her crop was now condemned to be eaten by the all-powerful Princesses. The sunlight dimmed, as the monstrosity of Peach-Doom sped toward the ground.

"We're all gonna dieee!" Screamed a mare as she ran from the incoming Peachocalypse.

"Every peach for themselves!" Peachy's assistant had run off as well.

Peachy Tea could only watch in horror and shock as the quartet of Princesses made their way to the field, landing softly, except for Celestia, who had plummeted into a tree and had already begun devouring its charges, the pits falling from the tree faster than Twilight could count. With a loud belch and a rustling of leaves, the Sun Princess darted to the next tree, repeating this peachocidal act to every poor fruit that stood between herself and a full stomach.

Twilight could not believe her eyes! She remembered coming here as a filly, seeing all the trees in bloom...But this was different, the trees sported golden tickets to PeachLand, each perfect fruit waiting for the right pony or Princess to pluck it into their baskets and make it achieve its higher purpose: sustaining the well-being of the lucky pony to come across its beautiful bounty.

Celestia darted from tree to tree, devouring them clean of all their peaches. Twilight found herself sneaking peach after peach into her saddlebags, which proved difficult when one ate two peaches for every one in the bag. Cadence was using her magic to create a trail of floating peaches that followed her every move and advanced as the peach reserves slowly drained. Luna had a hard time keeping in her laughter at all, before realizing she would be the one with no more peaches if she did not take advantage of the situation.

The four Princesses raged through the Orchards, devouring every last peachy morsel in their path, much to the shock of Peachy Tea. She found herself at a loss for words as she watched her livelihood disappear with increasing amounts of burping and fallen leaves. Peachy realized she could stay and risk seeing the true nature of an alicorn's hunger, or escape with her life and family intact. The latter was all the motivation the mare needed to turn tail and gallop back to the farmhouse, where she met with her co-workers and family.

"Auntie Peachy, what's goin' on out there?" Young Peach Cobbler asked, trying to get a glance through the door at the carnage befalling their precious trees.

"The End, my child, The End Of Peaches is upon us all." Peachy spoke cryptically, but shivered at the prospect. Would this really mean the End of Peaches? What would they do about the damage? They couldn't appeal to one of the Princesses, as they were currently responsible. That meant their option was to sit and wait.

Just sit and wait for the End.

Author's Note:

I was in the shower and thought...
It would be damn funny to end this peachlist storyline with a play on that one Eldritch monstrosity (come on, it's basically in the name!) by that crazy bastard ss&e.

It will not be a magnum opus of substantial size, rather a comedic look into the End of Peaches as Equestria knows it.

Short, sweet, and damn funny was the plan. Expect one more chapter. That's right! TWO-PARTER!

Thanks to everyone who read and liked my other four peachers of peachy peachness.

Comments

[Cerulean Voice]

There should have been a contest. Most participants were happy to stop at one, but YOU... You're a special kind of special. I've loved all of your works over the past 30 hours or so.
I hereby dub thee, His Majesty the Peach King of Fimfiction!

[Dash The Stampede]

3651001
One? How can you fit all the glory of princesses and peaches into one story!?

I came up with this and thought 'Gotta snag that title before someone smart gets it'
End Of Ponies -> End Of Peaches.

[Dash The Stampede]

3650980
Heh, thanks. Look for it within the next day or so.

[Pacman_The_Peach]

o noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, the peaches! they'er dying! they'er all dying!
Peaches: "o nooooooooooooooo, I am dying!"
, , Luna, Cadence: "OMNOMNOMNOMNOM

[Leafed Timberwolf]

Very Ray Bradbury kind of end. Iiked it har har.

[Dash The Stampede]

3685286
It's not over yet...Planning out the second chapter as I sit on the beach

Sun n sand n poni. Good vacation combo.