A Foal in Sane

by Adorned ungulate

Chapter Two: Kung Fu Action Gripe

"Think about it, I handle all your quill accounts just fine. But your high volume clients are just who, the library, school house, mayors office? Occasionally Legal Advice and Marital Aids? I could have Sweet Apple Engineering whip me up a flatbed trailer. Independent suspension and everything. How great would it be to offer sofa delivery in just an hour after showroom purchase?"

The merchant looks me over skeptically. "What about getting the merchandise into the buyer's homes? If I had to send one of my stallions with you I would just be adding an extra expense."

"Hey, I can get a sofa up three flights of stairs in ten seconds flat. Who took the Ponyville Friendship hoofball team to regionals two years in a row?"

"Alula."

I hoofpalm. "Alula and...?"

Chesterfield rolls his eyes. "And you, Scootaloo. I'll think it over." He passes over a package of quills into my cargo basket and goes back inside.

"Alright. Remember Thrasher Deliveries is here for all your delivery needs."

Hard sell, that one. I drop it off at the library. It was still weird not having Princess Twilight there but the old nag they hired from the Crystal Empire is nice enough.

Speed over to the market next. I hope Miss Fluttershy doesn't dally too much or I'll be late for the afternoon train's freight delivery. I should charge her extra for the distance but hey it's Miss Flutters. I love her to bits. Besides she always tips me really well. She could do these errands herself, I think she only hired me as one of her charity cases.

Produce acquired after a little haggling over asparagus I enjoy a scenic trip to the edge of the Everfree really letting the throttle out. I idle up to the cottage and ring the bell on my handlebars. One does not just barge in on the butter yellow pegasus. Seraph bunny opens the door and scowls at me, thumping his leg impatiently. That little jerk was more ill-tempered than his daddy.

"Whatever, dude. I'm coming." I gather the basket of goodies on my back and enter. "Oh, hi Miss Rarity. Heard from Sweetie recently?"

The prim mare levitates her teacup down. "She is well. And you?"

"On my grind as usual. Afternoon, Fluttershy."

"Hello, Scootaloo. Um, your bits are on the counter."

I nod and empty her supplies. Quite the selection considering the menagerie she cares for. Creatures are scurrying and flapping around. The sitting room as usual.

"Sweetie will be coming home for a visit in a few days, you should arrange a visit."

"That's great! I'll let Apple Bloom know. See you next week."

"Drive safe."

"I'll let you know if I need any fabric bolts delivered, darling."

With the help of a few shortcuts and a close call or two I reach the train platform just in time, giving the stevedore a brohoof.

"Heya, Scoots. Big load today. May take a few trips."

"The Barnyard Bargains stuff can wait, I'll get the Corner next."

I trot into Sugarcube Corner with my clipboard in my mouth. No pony is behind the counter, I just see the two Cake twins working on their homework at one of the booths. The filly looks bored, eyes half lidded as she rests her cheek on a hoof and really goes to town chewing on the end of her pencil. I dig her side-pony hairstyle. The colt taps on the table as he stares frustrated at his papers.

Better go ring the bell and- "Hi, Scootaloo!" I flap up a few feet in surprise. Hate it when Pinkie does that! She already has bags of flour and packets of spices and marzipan in her front hooves as she balances on her hind legs.

"Hey, Pinks. Where's the Cakes?" I look around again and see the colt twin has noticed me as is gaping with huge eyes, the top of his impressive pompadour quivering. In a flash he is gone, leaving a cloud of flour dust in his wake. The sudden movement disturbs his sister. Her elbow slips and her head thuds down on the table fast asleep.

Pinkie was unphased. "Prolly in the back. I'll get Mr. Cake while I put this stuff away."

Oh no. I was hoping for Cup. I have no idea why but Mr. Cake has really been mean-mugging me lately like he got some sort of a grudge. What did I ever do to him? Well, there was that one time. And that other thing... surely be can't still remember that. That was years ago. But what about...

"Yes, Scootaloo?" There he was lantern jaw stuck out and staring daggers.

"Afternoon, Mister Cake. I just wanted to talk business with you. Do you think it would help if I handled transporting some of your big catering deliveries? Might have less product disappear that way." As if on cue a glass cloche protecting a display of cupcakes jostles. A few crumbs remain where once there was a zap apple frosted confectionary. Pinkie is nowhere to be seen.

Carrot Cake just looks at me. "I don't know, Scootaloo. Can you be reliable? Can I really trust you with precious cargo?"

"Haven't you been pleased with my delivery services so far?"

His eyes narrow further. "I'll think it over, young mare. I'll keep my eye on you and give you an answer soon."

"Heh, better than a no I guess." I want out of this now. This is uncomfortable. Finally Mr. Cake passes my delivery fee over. "See you Monday, Mr. Cake!" Hope that was a cheery smile and not a grimace of fear. When did Sugarcube Corner become the nexus of weirdness in Ponyville?

"Barkeep! A mug of something cold and frosty of you please."

Berry Punch gives me a hard steady squint as she strolls over. "I don't want no trouble here, Scootaloo."

I shrug. "What? I'm not here to upset anypony. Just here to relax after a hard day with some delicious liquid refreshment... Just like that guy." The stallion is likely a dedicated intoxicant imbiber since he is practically passed out in a puddle of cider.

Berry joylessly serves me and clops off, mad-dogging me over her shoulder. Princess Luna on a pogo stick is everypony going to hassle me tonight? I could drink for free at the Apples'. I only came to the Spider since I heard Cats might play and she doesn't get down to Ponyville much anymore. Dad says she's touring promoting a freaky new concept album about a pretty puppy boy who runs away from trapeze school and hides behind the walls and ceilings of an office building, fixing little personal problems of the workers when they aren't looking and the janitor falls in love with him thinking he's the spirit of his late lady love... Or something. Never know with that mare.

"Evening, Scootaloo."

I tense up as I hear that familiar prissy voice. CAN THIS DAY GET ANY BUCKING WORSE? "Hi..." Put your hoof to your chin and muzzle over your mug so she gets the hint.

"You had a pretty hectic week, bet you art grateful for the weekend."

"I guess... Silver Spoon, why are you even talking to me?"

"Just trying to be cordial. We work together after all."

"You were so mean to me back in school, I keep waiting for you to throw the other shoe."

"That was years ago when I was more immature. I've changed since then. I assumed you had as well." She stirs her girly mixed drink like this was some sort of resort and not a proper filthy dive bar.

"I've changed but not forgotten, Silver."

"Sorry to upset you then." She didn't sound sorry. Not as sorry as I wanted her to be.

I brooded over my drink for a minute or two. "Why'd you do it anyway?"

"Hmm?"

"Torment us, what did we ever do to you?"

"Did you ever wonder why Diamond Tiara and I went to public school here in town and not some private academy somewhere?"

"No." Where was she going with this?

"We did for a while in fact, a place up in Canterlot. But we asked to come back home."

"Get into too much trouble over there?"

"We were being teased very harshly, mostly for being from Ponyville. In our social circles that's just how a pecking order is established. It's how wealthy foals interacted with each other. I suppose it sunk in and we were let loose in a more placid ecosystem back here at home it kind of went to our heads. More importantly in my case I just wanted to remain close to Diamond and went along with whatever behavior she demonstrated. It was more a game to me than a personal grudge and when you three retaliated it seemed natural to keep it going. Felt like you were playing along. I didn't hate you or anything. I wanted to feel powerful and secure."

"That doesn't make up for what you did."

"I never said it did, I was merely explaining myself. I was foolish and regret what I did for what it's worth. I'm certainly paying the price now."

"Whaddya mean?"

"Think about it. I spent so much social capital befriending and impressing Diamond and while we still are friends she's off in Manehattan and I'm still here surrounded by peers I used to bully. Look around. This is the kind of rural town where ponies our age either go out to make their own way and come back once married to raise a family, or pair off early and work the fields. I don't have much of a social circle anymore. Forget about dating. I would have to find a colt with so little self esteem that he wouldn't mind my past behavior, be too daft to remember or care about it. That leaves a potential suitor pool of one."

"And Snails is peculiar."

"Exactly. I'm having to resort to answering lonely hearts adverts in Canterlot. Not the sort of future I envisioned."

"So move away yourself if you find this place so terrible."

"On the contrary I like it here, but I burned too many bridges socially. I'm not in the same sort of business as Diamond that would require higher education. Our silver smith business is local. The only reason I work where I do is to build practical skills for when a member of my family retires."

"That's very sad, Silver but I still remember the hurtful things you said. I'll keep things copacetic at work but it'll take time for me to see you in a different light, okay?" This was giving me a headache.

She nodded and sipped her drink. "There was something I was warming up to tell you before we got this all in the open. Diamond Tiara is coming home from college for a while. She's going to be taking on a managerial role at the Barnyard as part of her studies so be prepared for a performance evaluation soon."

I let my head hit the bar and groaned. This day just got worse.

"I just thought it fair you knew and had time to prepare. Have a good weekend, Scootaloo." She slipped off her stool and sauntered off. That was confusing. She did me a favor and explained why she had been such a terror as a kid but she hadn't exactly apologized either. I really need to send this cider to my belly and add a couple of friends so it ain't lonesome.

"Berry, keep it coming please."

Author's Note:

Why do you think Mr. Cake is upset?

Title track provided by EAT BABIES! off the album Fur
available on the Blacksquares Bandcamp page.

Comments

[Some random Rapidash]

Hard to see where this is going right now...
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I like it!!!

[wolfstorm56]

Some of Scoots' dialogue felt kinda too formal for me but maybe that's only to show that she's grown up a little. There were some typos like 'art' for 'are' and one sentence where it seemed like it had been split into two but one was just a fragment.

[north_star]

3801819

Can't see her using "copacetic" under any circumstances though.