A Foal in Sane

by Adorned ungulate

Chapter Four: Beach Party

No matter how many times I go over my mental party preparation checklist it feels like I'm missing something. Thank Celestia for my friends for taking care of the food and drinks.

"Apple Bloom, Twist, thanks so much for lending a helping hoof. Don't know what I'd do without you."

"Prob'ly run around like a headless chicken."

A.B. smirks at her tired old joke, lamely thinking it'll get my goat. Twist spoils it for her by dragging us into a group hug.

"Thaths what friendth are for, Thcooataloo! I can't wait for the fethtivities to thart."

"You better git along and collect this new fella of yers. Don't want him to think you ain't interested."

"It'd be pretty classic of me to blow it before it can start. Okay, I'll head out if you don't mind getting things going on this end."

A.B. shrugs and Twist gives me a sly wink. I should really take more relationship advice from her, she's the only pony in my circle who's managed a sustained successful relationship though everyone suspects Twist and Snips like to keep things fresh with excessive public drama. Maybe it's just so they can make up afterwards. It's a mystery no pony is really willing do delve into.

"See you soon, girls...You're the best!"

I'm off speeding across town at a nice clip. As I said I'm not the best flier. It took me a ton of effort to get where I am today. If I need to get somewhere in a hurry I've developed a style kinda like a thrasher where I flap like crazy to gain a little altitude then soar for a bit for speed. It works quite well though it makes ponies nervous when I wiz by a few hooves above their heads.

Anyway I soon arrive at Amethyst Star Jewelers and sure enough Jacinth waits for me with his red-orange mane and tail glinting in the sunset's rays. He's a pretty stunning specimen.

I land a comfortable distance away as gracefully as I can. “Hey there, are you ready.”

“I think I am, Miss Swallowtail. Thanks for this invite.”

“How’d you learn my last name? Been doing research on me?”

“I mentioned I was going out to Amethyst and we talked a bit.”

I grimaced. “Good stuff, I hope.”

“Other than warning me not to take a ride in your wagon, yes.”

“Heh. Well, if you follow me I don’t live too far away.” He gave me a disarming smile and nod and we walk in silence for a bit. “So why did you move away from the Crystal Empire? I love to visit there. Are you related to our librarian or something?”

“I know of her but we are not relations.”

“So what gives then? The Empire is pretty cool.”

He gets this really stern look. “For all of you my homeland is this strange place that was forgotten to history and just appeared one day. For us we’ve been part of the modern world for around a decade and still have one hoof a thousand years ago. Empress Mi Amore has helped us transition with the help of our traditions. It helps that we are so isolated and could slowly reacquaint ourselves with the rest of Equestria. But if you look around you’ll see a lot of crystal ponies my age living abroad. Our elders call us a lost generation.”

“Why’s that?”

“I was just a foal when K-king Sombra enslaved us. There’s a few who are even younger though, infant mortality was high during that time. The Restoration was a huge relief and I still make a point to visit for the Crystal Fair every year to charge and be replenished by the Crystal Heart- but the old ways just don’t hold the same comfort as my parents. No joust, fluglehorn, or petting zoo will keep me from remembering that dark time when I’m home.”

“Well why Ponyville of all places?”

Jacinth perks up a little. “I wanted to move closer to our savior, maybe even get to say ‘thank you’.”

“Yeah but Princess Twilight lives in her castle in the woods now, comes into town quite often though.”

“While we acknowledge it was Twilight Sparkle who discovered the Heart I was actually referring to the dragon Spike.”

I gave a very unladylike snort followed by a chortle. “Spike! Spike is your great hero?”

My date seemed perplexed. “Of course, he and the Empress delivered the Heart to us and banished Sombra forever. Have you met Spike?”

“Met him? We used to go out for doughnuts and coffee all the time! I’ve seen drawings he’s made of his crush that he hides in the back of his writing desk. Of course I know him. Do you guys have like statues in his honor up north?”

“Of course.”

I can’t fend off a laughing fit imagining these monuments. “I’ll be sure to introduce you to the Great Dragon Hero Spike when I get the chance. It would be an honor. I just hope he lives up to your expectations.”

He smiles but I can tell if he was a pegasus his feathers would be rumpled. “I’d like that.”

“I hope you grow to feel at home here. There’s a lot of friendly ponies who live here who’ll make it a point to make sure you feel welcome.”

“I hope so. I’ve felt rootless for far too long. What about you, how’d you end up in Ponyville?”

“When I was born my parents lived in a pegasus bedroom community outside Canterlot; but when it was clear I had trouble flying they moved here so I wouldn’t wander off a cloud and turn myself into a little orange pancake.”

That coaxed a horrified chuckle. “Good thing!”

“Yeah I’m a bit of a weak flier, that’s why I got the scooter.”

“Was it hard to adapt?”

“Took some time to but some ponies can’t even walk so I consider myself lucky. My friends, parents, and big sister were a great help and comfort to me.”

My date says something in response but I don’t hear it because somepony catches my eye. It’s Silver Spoon walking down the street and yes there she is. It’s been like two years since I’ve seen her last but my stomach knots up when I spot Diamond Tiara. She’s wearing her hair a bit differently now and wearing a ridiculous, rather frou-frou dress with lots of tulle.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just spotted somepony I’m not too fond of. Don’t think she spotted me though.”

“I was starting to think everypony was a friend of yours in one way or another.”

“Eh, I’ve accidentally broken too many windows around town to win popularity contests with anyone but the glazier.” I flash him a rakish grin hoping a little flirting will ease my mood. “Case in point, I know what the heck a ‘glazier’ even is.”

“You can’t win everyone over, I guess.” He shrugs. “Hey, am I going to meet your parents?”

“I live with my dad and he’s out of town for the weekend. Mom lives over there a bit on the west end of town.”

“Interesting, are you close with your dad?”

“We’re thick as thieves sometimes. But now that I’m older we’re kind of transitioning into roommate-level especially now that I have a job. He’s getting remarried soon and I don’t know what will happen.”

“You should really have that conversation.”

I smirk. “Kind of forward of you there, mister; but yeah we probably should.”

We arrive at my place and the music is already playing complete with colorful flashing lights. Jacinth gives me a look. “Tiny get-together, eh?”

“Heh well maybe it grew a little since I asked. I’ll stick with you and won’t leave you with a bunch of strangers though! C’mon, I’ll introduce you to my friends.”

The party has spilled out into yard. I see a familiar colt sitting underneath a tree chatting with Featherweight. His companion waves to us and he turns address us. “Wotcher, Scoots! What’s this about me not being allowed inside?”

Ah, Pipsqueak, Ponyville’s preeminent carouser. If you go on the town with him you’re assured a crashing good time. But reliably things will usually take a sharp left turn around two or three in the morning resulting in hurt feelings, strong words traded back and forth, and frequently law enforcement getting involved. But you can’t deny his charm. He looks at you and you get this tingle down your spine and flush like your body wants to make itself warm and accepting. Bad boy, Scootaloo. Resist. Dance with the one who brought you. “Yeah, it was dad’s one rule. Still sore about that time you played DJ. Sorry! Don’t worry, I’ll come out and visit after I’ve made the rounds.”

Pip rolls his eyes and blows his bangs out of his face, a move that is sure to make a filly’s knees weak. “S’okay, often time the overflow is where the best time is at.” He fishes his flask out of his hoodie pocket. “Care for a nip?”

I turn to my companion. “Pipsqueak here has been dolling out beverages on street corners since his opened up his first lemonade stand. Always has the good stuff, though.” I take a swig. “Pip, Featherweight, this is my new friend Jacinth. He’s newly moved in from the Crystal Empire.”

“Nice ta meetcha, mate.”

“Welcome to Ponyville, man!”

“Later, guys.” I give them a wave. I give Jacinth a look and a reassuring smile. He seems to be taking this all in stride. Then we encounter a loiterer near the front door. “Hey, Snails; having a good time?”

Snails just looks out into the distance for a beat or two more than is comfortable, his head nodding out of time to the music, then he looks over at us. “Oh hey, Scootaloo! Great party you have here.”

“Thanks, buddy. Uh, mind moving to the left a little bit?”

“Oh, yeah. Sure.” He steps away and goes back to being in his own little world. Seems like a pretty pleasant place.

“Is he okay?”

“That’s just Snails being Snails, don’t worry about it.” The party is progressing nicely. About a dozen ponies are out on the makeshift living room dance floor. Pinkie Pie is unsurprisingly behind my dad’s sound system. We’ve all learned that actually inviting Pinkie to a party is merely a formality; her Pinkie-sense will lead her here eventually and everypony has collectively learned to just roll with it. I head over to the kitchen as that’s usually the nerve center of any house party. Truffle Shuffle is helping prep the food Twist brought in. Dinky is sitting on the counter laughing at some joke Lickety Split is telling her, probably oblivious that he’s trying his hardest to flirt. Coronet and Applecore give me warm greetings before refilling their cider cups. Finally I find the two I’m looking for. “Jacinth, I’d like you to meet two of my closest friends. Apple Bloom, Twist, this is Jacinth.”

“Howdy, partner! Pleased to finally meet ya.”

“Hello.”

“Hey, Twist, where’s Snips?”

“He went out to the thore for more ith.”

“Explains why Snails looked so lost.”

Twist took off her glasses to inspect them for smudges. I know she has a lot of affection for Snails but has understandably mixed feelings for her coltfriend’s third wheel. I give my date a playful nudge with my rump to get his attention. “Want to grab a drink and a bite?”

“That’d be wonderful, thanks.”

A.B. seems fit to burst; she’s been waiting for the opportunity to grill the crystal colt for intel. “So how’d like working with Sparkler? You must be a mighty fine jeweler.”

“Miss Star has been very kind to me. I’m very happy to land an apprenticeship with her. She’s got a lot to teach me. I’m surprised she settled in such quiet little village.”

“Well tourism has jumped since Princess Twilight’s coronation. Ah’m sure she gets plenty of business. Lots of us folk like the pace of life here where you can catch yer breath but are just a short trip away from Canterlot. Let us know what we can do to make you feel more comfortable.”

“A steady supply of this cider will do the trick, it’s amazing!”

Apple Bloom beams. “It’s a Sweet Apple Acres specialty!”

“The food is fantastic too; is this your work, Twist?”

“Aww, you’re just trying to get on my good thide.”

We settle in, chatting and greeting various friends and acquaintances. As the host I can’t just sit back and lamp. One in particular catches my eye and I call out to her. “Hey, Alula!”

“Hi, Scoots. Thanks for the invite!”

“Diamond Tiara is back in town, you should go pay her a visit.”

The yellow coated pegasus stomps excitedly with her front hooves, her face lighting up like a pinball machine. She glomps me into one of her too-strong hugs. “Oooh, thanks for letting me know! I should get my mane done.” She beats a hasty exit.

Apple Bloom nudges me on the shoulder. “Scootaloo, that was a downright evil thing to do. If Sweetie Belle were here she would give you a proper talkin’ to. Give me a hoof pound.” I laugh and oblige.

“What just happened?”

“Just inflicting a pest with someone she considers a pest. Alula is big-hearted filly; she just doesn’t know how to read social cues.” I settle onto the couch. Everything is going well. Party is bumping. Ponies are having a good time. I’ve got a cute boy by my side. It’s quite an accomplishment. That is until Twist interrupts my good vibes.

“Thcootaloo, Archer just arrived. Did you invite her?”

I tense up enough that Jacinth picks up on it. “Is something wrong? Who’s Archer?”

I groan internally as my stomach feels full of acid. “She’s my ex.” I place a hoof at the back of his neck. Strange how his mane doesn’t feel cold though it looks like something made of glass. “Look, I’m going to go talk to her. I said I’d keep you company but why don’t you hang with the girls and away from potential drama.”

And he gives me a smile. Pretty colts like him are not usually my type but hot damn. “Okay, Scootaloo. Good luck.”

“Thanks.” I get to my hooves and my joints feel like I’m Granny Smith. I scan the room and yup, there she is chatting with Snips and Button Mash. Probably reminiscing about school or some bucking thing. She’s got her back to me. I’ll never get used to her coat being a darker shade of indigo, the tufted ears but of course she hasn’t turned to look at me yet. Everything else kind falls away as I make my way over. “Hey, Archer.”

And she turns around. Oh, those eyes. Those chilling slit irises. Amber colored eyes. Oh, my dear Princess Luna what did you do to her? She came to you and returned changed.

“Scootaloo, how’re you doing?” She smiles and I can kind of see my girlfriend again.

“How did you hear about my party?”

“What, am I not welcome in your home?”

“Nah, you are. I’d just like a little heads up first, you know?”

She nods. “Ran into your dad at the castle and he said you were probably throwing one. So I got in touch with Featherweight since he usually knows the details on these things.” In the corner of my eye I see the little bastard flit away out of reach. “I sent in a leave request to Princess Luna and to my surprise she approved it. One of these days you’ll have to fill me in on what little thing you two have going. I hope it’s okay that I came.”

I just shrug. “Archer, what have you even been doing? Why didn’t you write instead of dropping in on me like this?”

“There’s not much I can say beyond Night Guard business I’m afraid, Scoots. Hey. It’s good to see you.”

I nod. “It’s good to see you too.” It’s agony to see her. “I gotta see to some stuff. Enjoy yourself, okay.”

She doesn’t press the point as I drag my hooves back to the couch, dread washing over my brain. So that’s good, I guess.

“You gonna be okay, sugar cube?”

“Maybe… I’d rather see her around or never ever again but not to just turn up out of the blue like that.”

“What happened between you two?” Jacinth looks concerned, and utterly adorable. It lightens my dark mood just a bit.

“She left. Found a higher calling. Poof, like a magic spell.”

Nopony knows how to salvage the situation so I just close my eyes and drift off into the music for a bit. I’m not sure how much time as passed when there’s a sudden jolt that sends dishes clinking and books tumbling off shelves. “What in Celestia’s sun-spangled flank was that?” There’s a bit of commotion as a bunch of us bottleneck to the front door. Once I get outside I see several ponies pointing to one of the distant mountains along the Unicorn Range to the west of town. A big purple cloud angrily boils down from the sky spitting out green lightning. Now there’s an ugly glowing gash in the sky.

“What is THAT?” Jacinth seems terrified.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure Princess Twilight will take care of it.”

“Are you crazy? Why aren’t you worried?”

“Look, Jace, you live in Ponyville now. It’s a sleepy little village ninety percent of the time but we’re on the edge of the Everfree. Every now and then some beastie stomps out and we deal. There probably isn’t a building in town that hasn’t been rebuilt or repaired in the last decade. Most ponies keep saddle bags handy with important documents, a few bits, and some trail mix just in case we have to evacuate. It’s just a part of life.”

“I’m very sorry, Scootaloo. I’ve had a great night but this is too much for me.”

“Jacinth, I-“ He’s already ducking out. Great. Not even a hug?”

Archer slides up to me. “I’d probably get back too. I think this qualifies for cancellation of leave. Take care of yourself, Scoots.”

“Uhh.”

Pinkie Pie comes bouncing by. “Me too! Former Element Bearer business.”

Apple Bloom, that wonderful mare, gives me a hug. Then Pip offers his flask again. “Here you go, Luv. You look like you need this more than me at the moment.”

I drain the thing. No way could my party take such an abrupt swan dive. I look around at all the ponies hurrying back to their homes and loved ones. “Right!” Time to get myself back inside and take charge. I barely hear Twist chastising Snips for trying to slink away. “Come inside, Pip. I’m using my emergency powers to revoke your banishment.”

It’s annoyingly quiet inside besides worried muttering so I cut through it. “LISTEN UP my friends. I understand if you need to get home to your families. It’s okay. But ME! I’m throwing a PARTY here. Sure, I could check up on my mom but not in the mood right now. But you know what? I’ve always wanted to say ‘when the sky was crashing down I was dancing in a party that refused to stop’. So for you ponies who want to stick around, I say thank you my friends. LET’S GET THIS GOING AGAIN!”

I pick a record out of dad’s collection. It’s the shrill one about the dead rising and walking around, the one with “parthenogenesis” in the chorus. He used to tease me until I could finally pronounce that word. Seems appropriately apocalyptic for the mood so I throw it on. I look around and smile at my remaining friends. Most are too fuzzed by booze to grasp the dire situation but I love them for staying just the same. I’m in a bitter vindictive mood and I refuse to budge. So I get another drink or four. I mingle and laugh over old stories and absurdities. I shut out any commotion that may or may not be going on outside because I’m having a GOOD TIME and buck the consequences.

Events, ponies, and words kind of blur and blend together eventually and next thing I know I’m lying in my bed and morning sun is assaulting my eyelids. I try to move my head and it feels like the world tilts. Ah, that unpleasant but kind of wonderful feeling of waking up the next day still half drunk. Great. I settle back down because it is so warm and comfortable and somepony nuzzles against my belly Oh Luna’s Blue Teats I’m no alone in this bed! My eyes shoot open and all I can see is wheat-colored mane. I lift up my head, swimmingly and see periwinkle-grey fur.

“Dinky Doo?”

She glances down at my wing that is draped over her belly. “Oh, hello Scootaloo. Good morning.”

“Dinky, did we… did we have sex last night?”

“Uhhh. I don’t think so.”

Thoughts and emotions tried to engage in my brain but just couldn’t manage to make sense of this. If I were to make a list of the ponies in town who I would likely wake up next to nowhere on the list would be the most sweet-hearted childhood acquaintance of mine. I just couldn’t puzzle how this could have happened.

“Scootaloo.”

“Yeah?”

“I imagine you are confused and embarrassed right now and trying to think of the right thing to say but could you just hold me for a while? I’m sleepy and you really made me comfortable. That okay?”

“Yeah, sure.” I snuggled up next to her again and returned my head to my pillows. I didn’t want to think consequences through right this second. Sure, stranger things have happened across Equestria but this was truly a weird end to a strange disastrous night.

Author's Note:

How does a filly get herself into these situations?

As usual the A Foal in Sane mix tape is brought to you by the Blacksquares Bandcamp page. Side A, Track 4 "Beach Party" by EAT BABIES? is off of the album Fur available here: https://blacksquares.bandcamp.com

Comments

[wolfstorm56]

Huh. Twist ending I guess.