Chapter 3
“I’m sorry I’m late!” you cry out as you burst through your office doors, “My other appointment carried over a bit.”
You circle around and take a seat at your desk. “Now, tell me what’s wrong,” you ask as you retrieve your glasses from the desk drawer.
“I’ll tell you what’s wrong!” Pinkie Pie screams “He doesn’t love me anymore!”
The earth pony sitting by Pinkie side tries to reach out to her, but she shrinks away.
“Pinkie, please! You’re being unreasonable!”
You let out a heavy sigh as you realize that you had just become a couple’s counselor for these two.
“Listen, I can’t help you unless you tell me what’s wrong.”
“Oh, he knows what he did!” Pinkie says with a snarl, making both of you jump back. You had never seen her like this before. Not only was her personality a complete polar opposite of her usual bubbly self, but her appearance was different as well. Her coat seemed to be a darker shade of pink than before and her mane was no longer bright and curly, but dull and flat.
The stallion with her—you assumed that he was the boyfriend Rarity had mentioned—was looking quite disheveled, like he hadn’t slept in weeks.
“Well, he may know, but I don’t,” you say as you look over the file. Nurse Careheart had simply put ‘lover’s quarrel’ under the reason for counseling. “Please, start from the beginning. What’s going on between you two?”
“He never wants to do anything with me anymore!” Pinkie exclaims as she throws her hooves into the air. “All he does is sleep all day and spend his nights making candy that he won’t even share with me!”
“Pinkie, I’ve had so many orders coming in and whenever I try to talk to you, you ignore me!”
“THAT’S BECAUSE—”
“QUIET!” Both Pinkie and her boyfriend stop yelling at each other and turn to you, startled.
“I am not going to be the referee to a screaming contest. This is what we’re going to do: Pinkie is going to talk and then you are. You’re both going to get a chance to speak and tell me your side of the story. Fair?” The two look to each other for a moment and then give you a nod.
Pinkie takes a deep breath and seems to calm down a bit. “I can understand that he needs time to fill out a few orders, but when he’s spending all day in the kitchen and all night working, I can’t help but feel unloved. When he finishes work, he runs off somewhere during the day and sleeps on the couch at night,” Pinkie says with a sniffle. “I just want things back when we first met…”
“And just how did you react to this lack of attention?”
“I got sad,” Pinkie says as she reaches for a tissue on your desk, “Then he stopped helping me plan Dashie’s wedding and I got mad.”
“Why did this make you mad?” you ask before jotting down a few notes.
“A wedding is a special time for a pony! It’s like the most important party of their life and he’s supposed to be there for me and he hasn’t!”
“And that’s pretty much the extent of what’s going on between you two?” you ask. Pinkie nods her head quickly.
“Now it’s your turn,” you say as you turn to Pinkie’s boyfriend, “why are a few orders stopping you from spending time with Pinkie Pie?”
The earth pony sighs and reaches for the saddlebag underneath his chair. “It isn’t a few orders; it’s a lot of orders. I’ve got my ledger right here.”
He flips open the book and begins paraphrasing a page.
“Thirty feet of licorice, five-hundred candy buttons, one hundred twenty-five sour balls, two-hundred candy necklaces and the list goes on! Ever since we published that book, I’ve had people ordering candy from all over Equestria and I can’t keep up with the demand unless I work all day.”
You nod thoughtfully as you begin to understand how such a workload could put a strain on the relationship. “What’s this about sleeping on the couch?”
The earth pony grimaces at the question and shifts uneasily in his chair. “Umm… Pinkie? I don’t know how to tell you this...”
“What? What’s wrong? What did I do?” Pinkie asks nervously
“No, no! You didn’t do anything wrong,” the earth pony says as he draws Pinkie closer to him, “it’s just that… You snore.”
Pinkie stops crying and looks dumbfounded. “I…Snore?”
“Yeah… I’m sorry, but you do. I can’t get any sleep so I move to the couch.”
You aren’t surprised by the fact that part of the problem was a misunderstanding. Pinkie thought that he didn’t want to sleep in the same bed as her, when really; it was just that he couldn’t sleep. You can’t even begin to count the times that you’ve had somepony come in with a problem and it turned out to be just a lack of communication.
“Doesn’t it feel better to get that kind of stuff out in the open? It helps to clear away any misunderstanding.”
“What do we do now, Doctor?” Pinkie asks as she wipes away her tears.
“Well, I think it would be smart to pay a visit to your local doctor and see what he can do for you about the snoring. As for your conflict, I suggest a compromise.”
“Compromise?” Pinkie asks curiously.
“Pinkie, I can see why you feel hurt and depressed, but from what it sounds like, you were being pretty passive-aggressive about this whole ordeal instead of trying to resolve these feelings. Instead of avoiding the problem and taking it out on him, confront him next time and just sit down with him. I’m sure he’d understand.”
Pinkie looks away bashfully as she begins to realize how she’s been acting. Pinkie’s boyfriend nods in agreement before you start in on him.
“And come on! You’re going to have to choose between work and your mare. If spending more time with Pinkie means turning down orders, then so be it.”
The earth pony begins to panic at your words. “I can’t! Not yet anyway! I’m so close to paying it off and-”
He puts his hooves over his mouth and looks to Pinkie nervously.
“What are you trying to pay off?” you ask curiously.
His voice begins to crack. “Nothing. Nothing at all,”
“What are you trying to buy?!?” Pinkie yells as she gets to her hooves, “You moving somewhere with somepony else and leaving me?!?”
He begins to visibly panic at the questions and glances towards the exit. But before he can bolt, you reach out and put a hoof on his shoulder. “There’s no reason to be afraid. Just tell us what’s going on.”
He looks to you and then to Pinkie before sighing heavily, defeated. “I didn’t want you to find out…” the earth pony said sheepishly, “…it’s a diamond engagement necklace.”
Pinkie’s eyes grow wide and her lower lip begins to quiver. “I-I’m sure whoever you ask to m-m-marry you w-will l-l-love you ve-very much…”
The earth pony gets out of his chair and kneels down on his back legs in front of Pinkie. He reaches out and cups Pinkie’s front hoof in his forehooves. “I love her with all of my heart and I know she loves me back. You looked so happy when you found out Dash was getting married and it made me think that I should finally ask you…”
The earth pony reaches underneath his chair again and pulls out a black box that’s about a foot long.
“Pinkamina Diane Pie, will you marry me?” He opens up the box to reveal a golden necklace with a large, pink-tinted diamond in the center.
Pinkie stares breathlessly at the necklace. “You… You were doing this… For me?” she asks. The earth pony simply nods once.
In an odd display, Pinkie’s coat somehow regains its once bright color and her mane curls back up with a sound you could only equate to a noisemaker you’d find at one of her parties.
“YES! YES! A THOUSAND TIMES YES! I LOVE YOU!” Pinkie screams as she tackles her surprised fiancé. You take off your glasses and rub the tears out of your eyes. This was the reason why you look forward to your job every morning; the chance to actually help improve somepony’s life.
“I’m so happy for you two. I’m glad everything’s working out for the best.”
Pinkie lets go of her soon to be husband and grabs a hold of your hoof. “Thank you SO much Doctor!” she yells as she shakes your hoof up and down vigorously.
“Please, I didn’t do anything.”
It’s been feeling like that a lot, lately, you think to yourself, First Rarity, now Pinkie. Everypony is learning to overcome their problems with little or no help. If this keeps up, I’m going to be out of a job, you think with a chuckle.
“Oh don’t be silly, Doc! We would have still been fighting if you didn’t set us straight!” Pinkie says ecstatically as she makes her way for the door.
“Yeah, I would have been still hiding the surprise, when I should have just asked her in the first place.”
Pinkie pivots on her hooves and faces you with a large smile. “Oh! I know! There are so many couples in Ponyville who aren’t as super happy as we are now and they could really use your help! I’ll let them all know how great and helpful you are!”
And with that, Pinkie bounds out the door to your office with her fiancé in tow, leaving you very confused. “Wait… What?”
* * * * * * * * * *
“Alright… Because my secretary had to leave early, I have to get the information I need directly from you. Let’s start out simple. What are your names?”
The light green pegasus adjusted the bandages around his head, most of which covered his charcoal mane. “Coffeebean,” he said rather unenthusiastically.
“…And I’m Paintbrush,” the red unicorn said meekly.
You understand now what Pinkie meant when she said there were other couples who needed help. She left your office at one o’clock PM and by one-thirty, you had a line of people coming to see you, each wanting ‘Couple’s Counseling’. It didn’t help that your secretary left early because of family matters.
“What do you two do for a living?”
“Well, I’m a pharmacist,” Coffeebean said as he fiddled with his bandages again.
Paintbrush hid her face behind her ginger mane, “And I’m a nurse.”
“And why are you here today?”
“That’s what I’d like to know,” Coffeebean said curtly.
“I said I’m sorry!” Paintbrush cried, “Why are you still mad?”
“I’m not mad!”
“I didn’t mean to make you slip, I was just trying to have fun, I swear!”
“Paint, I know it was an accident! You’d never hurt me on purpose!”
“Then why are you mad at me?”
“I’M NOT MAD!”
“BUT YOU’RE YELLING!”
You rub the sides of your head as the two begin to try to shout over each other.
This is going to be a long day…
* * * * * * * * * *
Glancing up at the clock, you can’t help but wonder where the day had gone.
“Eight PM…” you say aloud as you lay your head on your desk. You had to have met with over three dozen couples and it took a lot out of you. You close your eyes and try to relax, but all of the problems and screaming of the day still filled your mind.
Where do you go every night?
Why does your mother have to stay with us?
You don’t talk to me anymore!
I saw you looking at that other stallion!
WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE?!?
JUST TALK TO ME!
“Doctor?”
Your eyes snap open at the familiar voice. You can’t help but let out a sigh of relief. “Twilight, it’s great to hear somepony without pr—”
You find yourself staring at not just Twilight, but also a blond haired, orange mare, who looked quite nervous to be here. You groan aloud as you realize your job was far from done today.
“All right!” you yell aloud as you clap your hooves together “One more session won’t hurt! Lay it on me! I’ve heard everything today. What’s wrong? She doesn’t talk to you anymore? She doesn’t like to sleep in the same bed as you? She doesn’t kiss like she did on that first date?”
Both Twilight and the orange mare stare at you wide eyed.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Twilight yells aloud, “We are NOT a couple. I had to drag Applejack here just to see you. She’s pushing herself way too hard again.”
“Oh! I’m so sorry!” you say, feeling very embarrassed at the moment “I’ve seen so many couples today and I just assumed…”
“I am not a filly-fooler…” Applejack says under her breath. “And Twi’s wrong! I’m just… tired… is all.”
“Applejack, you’re tired because you were up all night bucking apples so you wouldn’t have to ask us for help” Twilight says worriedly.
“Okay, help me understand what’s going on here,” you say, still not following the situation “She’s pushing herself trying to harvest her apples, she’s not asking you for help, and to top it all off, she’s done this before?”
Twilight gives you a nod.
You take off your glasses and rub the sleep from your eyes. “Twilight, could you please wait in the other room?”
Twilight leaves you without a word and closes the door behind her. Applejack takes this as a cue to sit down in the chair across from your desk.
“Listen, can we just get down to brass tacks?” you ask with heavy sigh. “I’m exhausted, I haven’t eaten lunch OR dinner, and I’m tired of seeing patients come in and tiptoe around their problems, so PLEASE. Just tell me how you’re feeling.”
“I…I don’t know anymore,” Applejack says meekly. “I get out to the field an’ all I can do is just stare at all the work I have to do. I KNOW hafta to get ta work, but I just…”
“Freeze up?” you finish for her. Applejacks eyes light up.
“Yeah, freeze up,” she says with a nod.
Classic ‘whoa’ response as defined by Doctor Lillas…
“Okay. Now tell me, why are you doing this to yourself? It seems like you have many friends who are willing to help you.”
“But that’s the problem, doc,” Applejack replies sharply, “Everypony else has got enough on their plate already and I don’t want to add to it.”
Applejack slumps down in her chair and lets out a ragged sigh, “Rainbow’s gettin’ married, Pinkie and her boyfriend are plannin’ the party, Shy’s spending all her time with that writer feller, Twi’s got her hooves full with that weirdo and Rarity is… well… You see why I’m doing all this now?”
You nod as you begin to understand. With everything going on, she didn’t want to impose on her friends. “How much more applebucking do you have to do?” you ask.
“If I can find a couple sets of hooves to help? One, maybe two more acres.”
“Well then, if I were you, I’d ask if they could help out for a few hours or so just to take some of the work off of you. Once you’ve finished up, why don’t you go on vacation? Maybe you should go somewhere tropical. You know, grass skirts, hula dancing, and sandy beaches?”
“I can’t ‘ford no fancy vacation! And why would I go anyway? It’s so much cozier here in Ponyville.”
“Applejack, a vacation could do you some good. You know, just get away for a few weeks and enjoy yourself. You’d be surprised how much fun you’d have.”
Applejack shakes her head. “I don’t know… Even if I did, I still can’t pay fer it…”
“Listen, you seem pretty stressed out right now. You haven’t been able to stop tapping your hoof and you keep glancing out the window.” As soon as you bring it up, Applejack stops her hoof and looks you in the eye. “You want to go out there and try to get back to work, don’t you?”
Applejack remains quiet and looks back out the window, but you knew you were right.
“Even though you’re freezing up, you still want to get to work. You can stay in Ponyville and try to relax, sure, but you seem like the pony who would still try to get work done. You just need to get away from it all so you can relax. Stress isn’t good for you, mentally or physically.”
Your thoughts drift back to the money issue and how to fix that, but you can’t figure out a way past that over your rumbling stomach. That is, until your stomach gives you an idea.
“You know, Applejack, I read somewhere that apples can be quite good for you. Controls blood pressure, helps with digestion, and can even make you happier in the long run. I’d like to buy some apples from you.”
Applejack perks up at the word ‘buy’. “Oh sure! How much?”
“How many will 100 bits get me? That’s usually what I pay for groceries per month.”
Applejack’s jaw drops. “A lot! I mean, like a whole lot! And with that, I could buy a ticket for… a… vacation…”
You touch the tip of your nose with your hoof and smile. Applejack understood what you meant; ‘you got it’.
“Thank ya kindly Doc! I’ll get those apples to ya quicker than a jackrabbit on a bed a coals! Thanks again!” she yells as she gallops out of your office. As soon as Applejack leaves, Twilight comes in and sits down in front of you.
“Anything you want to talk about?” you ask with a chuckle.
Twilight looks around nervously for a second. “Uhh… What are your thoughts on clover?” she asks above a whisper.
You raise an eyebrow at the question. “Clover? Well, I’ll admit, I did smoke some while in college. I really don’t see what the big fuss is about it. It’s not dangerous. All I did was laugh for a while and get really hungry.”
Twilight looks at you, surprised, “So you don’t think there’s anything wrong with it?”
“Not at all. It’s a naturally occurring plant and can be a useful medicine, in certain cases… Why do you ask?”
Twilight gets up from the chair and makes her way for the door. “No reason! I was just curious!”
And with that, Twilight leaves you before you can get another word in.
With the day looking done, you poke your head out of your office and take a final look around. “No pony in sight,” you say happily.
With the day truly done, you head out of your office and grab your coat before rushing out the door to finally get home. As you throw the door open, you find Rarity standing on the doorstep, her hoof raised as if she was about to knock.
“Oh! Doctor! Just the pony I was looking for!” she says with a smile. You venture a guess that she had been working on modifying those dresses today; she was wearing the red satin dress that you helped turn into a halter top. It went well with the mascara and blush she was wearing.
Your sense of urgency to get home diminishes. “What brings you by here at this hour?”
“Well… I wanted to talk to you earlier, but it looked like you had your hooves full. I was wondering if you wanted to get together for dinner?”
“It’s getting kind of late, isn’t it?” you ask as you gesture to the now rising moon.
“Oh… I guess you’re right…” Rarity says, sounding rather hurt. “I’ll just leave you, then. Good night.”
As Rarity turns away to make her way home, you can’t help but feel a bit guilty for turning her down. In the spur of the moment, you stop her.
“I was planning on a quiet dinner at home, but you’re more than welcome to join me.”
Rarity perks up and spins around quickly. “Really? You’re sure I won’t be a bother?”
“Not if you lend a hoof… and it’s actually pretty nice to have you around.”
A part of you regrets saying those words. What are you saying? She’s your patient! You can’t get involved with her!
But the other part of you didn’t hear this nay-say. It was too happy having this unicorn walking by your side.
* * * * * * * * * *
“So this is where you live?” Rarity asked as she wandered around your living room.
“Last time I checked, yes,” you say jokingly “What do you think?”
“Honestly, I’m not surprised by the Victorian-style housing and furnishings. Fits you to a T. I assume there’s a library around?”
Who’s analyzing who? you think with a chuckle.
“It’s down the hall and to the right. Make yourself at home while I see what we have to work with.”
You leave Rarity and make your way to your kitchen and begin to scour the refrigerator for something remotely edible. It turns out you have just enough ingredients to make a vegetable soup.
“Hey Rarity!” you call out, “How does soup sound? Not too bland, I hope?”
“Oh, not at all, darling!”
There was that name again. ‘Darling.’ She called you that earlier today before she kissed you. You couldn’t explain why, but hearing her call you that felt nice.
“Alright, I’ll chop up the vegetables and you add the seasoning. Shouldn’t take that long to cook. Easy.”
True, it didn’t take that long to prepare the soup, but it was taking much longer to actually cook it. An hour had already passed and it still wasn’t done. You and Rarity take advantage of this time and make some tea and pass the time with idle conversation, but you still couldn’t help but feel awkward about the whole situation.
“I’m sorry, I really didn’t think this through enough,” you say with a nervous chuckle.
“It’s no problem at all, darling. I’m actually quite enjoying our time together.”
That name again. It made a lump form in your throat, so you simply nodded dumbly.
Get a hold of yourself! There’s no way she’d be interested you, and besides, she’s your patient!
Before the awkward silence could set in, Rarity speaks up.
“What do you think of my dress?”
“I think it looks quite s—” you stop yourself from saying the word. “Er... lovely,” you say before throwing your head back and gulping down the last of your tea. Closing your eyes, you try to clear your mind.
Get those thoughts out of your head. You can’t—
You jump slightly as you feel a weight press down on your lap.
“Say it.”
Your heart begins to race when you look down to find Rarity sitting on your lap and looking at you with a lustful grin.
“S-Say what?”
“Oh, you know what I want you to say,” Rarity says with a girlish giggle “you said it earlier today.”
That lump that has been forming in your throat lately made another appearance. When you wouldn’t say it, Rarity pulls herself up and puts her mouth up to your ear and whispers dreamily into your ear.
“Sexy...”
In one smooth movement, Rarity plants her lips onto yours and begins to kiss you roughly and greedily. The sensation is twofold; pleasurable and shocking.
You try to pull back from the kiss, but that only seems to encourage her. For a few times, you get lost in the passion and only refocus when you feel Rarity’s tongue begin to probe your mouth.
Finally, you manage to break away from the embrace and confront her.
“Rarity! What EXACTLY are you doing?!?”
“Well, I’m ravishing you at the moment,” she says with a playful giggle “and then I was hoping we could move onto some foreplay before we got into the main event.”
Your heart skipped a beat as you realize what Rarity had in plan for you.
“Wait, wait, wait!” you cry out. As much as you wanted to continue, you knew it was wrong. “Rarity, why are doing this?”
“Because you’re the only thing that’s made sense to me up until now! When you left, I got so nervous and anxious and all I wanted to do was find and hold you! You’re handsome and generous and nice and caring and... and...” Rarity’s eyes begin to well up with tears “You make me feel right!”
You move Rarity back and guide her off of you and into the other chair.
“Please,” she says above a whisper “Please tell me you love me like I love you.”
Your heart begins to twist into knots.
“Rarity, I’m sorry, but I can’t. You’re not yourself right now.”
Tears begin to streak down Rarity’s face. “Please,” she says it louder this time.
“You’re my patient. And while you’re still my patient, I have to put your well being ahead of everything else.”
She yells it this time: “PLEASE!”
“I CAN’T!” you yell back, “How do I know these feelings are truly yours? How do you know? You admit you haven’t been feeling yourself lately and I don’t want to take advantage of you while you’re feeling like this!”
Your outburst causes Rarity to hang her head and go very quiet. Your stomach sinks into your hooves when you realize that she’s crying. You take a few tentative steps closer to her and move part of her mane away.
“I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t want to risk making you any worse.”
She remains quiet and continues sobbing. You go quiet as well, at a loss for what to do.
Your eyes brighten up and you begin to smile. Putting a hoof under Rarity’s chin, you guide her eyes to look into yours.
“Make me a promise.”
“W-w-what kind of promise?” she asked with a sniffle.
“Let me help you get better. Let me help you sort out all of these feelings and problems you’ve been having. And when everything is said and done and if you still feel this way about me, I’ll take you out on the town and give you a night you’ll never forget.”
“R-Really?” Rarity asked as she wiped away her tears, and smearing her mascara in the process.
“I promise. Do you?”
A small smile creeps across Rarity’s face. “I’m going to hold you to that promise, darling.”
Rarity gets to her hooves and regains her composure quickly as she begins to clean the running mascara off of her face with a handkerchief. “I’m sorry for my outburst, darling. I have no idea what came over me... And I’m also sorry I can’t stay for dinner. I’ve...lost my appetite.”
You giver her a nod and begin to show her to the door, but she stops.
“I’m sorry for putting you in such a difficult spot. I know you only want what’s best. I’ll see you next Monday?”
“I look forward to seeing you there.”
Just as Rarity makes her way out the door, she turns around.
“Could I... trouble you for a goodnight kiss?” she asks sheepishly.
Rarity looks like she expects you to say no, but instead you lean in and plant a kiss on her cheek.
She looks slightly disappointed, but you can make out a faint blush.
“Tease.”
“Goodnight, Rarity.”
“Goodnight.”
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Oh goodie! For a second there; I was worried that he was gonna commit the ultimate sin of psychology
wait fluttershy with a wrighter , twilight with a wird guy and applejack going on a vacasion
FORESHADOWING
hahaha clover
Lol clover
I like how he keps making references to the other fanfics he made.
28175
t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQfqjJM3jUreAtNyIEGuKAjsuaMBw2QSt9_XTZjh2r2PILBXsyEJ0SQRRJg
116019
HIEL DAS SPELLING FUHRER
Also, this is a pretty spectacular story. Laughed when I saw coffeebean's name in it.
Wasn't sure if that was a passing reference to me or not. Not presumptuous enough to assume that.
As always, keep up the good work!
Just had to rave how awesome this story is, the drastic therapy methods with Rarity's dresses were particularly marking.
Applejack slumps down in her chair and lets out a ragged sigh, “Rainbow’s gettin’ married, Pinkie and her boyfriend are plannin’ the party, Shy’s spending all her time with that writer feller, Twi’s got her hooves full with that weirdo and Rarity is… well… You see why I’m doing all this now?”
Had no idea all this stuff was pretty concurrent (I really like knowing the timelines of everything, if I don't I just kinda
or something). Not that I have any mental problems. 
i smoke some clover in my spare time as well.....
Hm... in Candy Sutra, Pinkie mentions that Applejack was going on vacation while the main character and she were still working on the Candy Sutra, yet in this story Applejack gets the idea only after she talks to Dr. Fritz, which is AFTER the Candy Sutra has been completed and published, if the first Couples Councel is anything to go by. A retcon?
Also... Fluttershy with a writer? I don't remember seeing that on your story list. Did I miss something, or have you not written that one yet?
Wait, I smoke clover? Man, I must do that really often, I don't remember that being the case at all...
490365
I smell a slight hint of insanity in this account.
Edit: It's called "Danke" and not "Danken" just my 2 cents
LIES!
28175
*GASP*
*Faint*
I am liking this development of the characters of which, is very intriguing to say the least
<_< >_>
Yeah, my Social Link narrator was running late due to me phone-reading this. In any case...I suppose it's pretty hilarious that I basically have a Persona for each of the Mane 6 AND the CMC. Sheesh, I'm like the Anti-Oprah here! I get a Mane 6 character, I get a Mane 6 character, I get the entire CMC as a kid, EVERY ONE OF ME GETS A SHIPPING!
...Come to think of it, that's very Persona-like as well, since you tend to get multiple love interests to fall for you in one playthrough anyway.
Oh, and go Psychiatrist Me! Also, that must feel awkward talking with myself from a different story. XP
Okay this story is good but I just don't like all the oc's in it.
6053062
I think the author did a bunch of other fics where some of the elements got with other dudes (or 'you's), and they share a universe. This is Rarity's one.