J Dog and Stardust. Close and unbreakable friends. They stick together through everything. Even if they are complete opposites they won’t abandon one another. Now itâ€
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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The more I reread this, the more I wish these guys were real, and we were friends.
This is a LONG story and I love it I and to me J dog would have a deep voice and Star a little high pitched
1. That was fast for whatever happened between JD, Vinyl and Octavia. Also it was a bit confusing. Maybe i'm just tired.
2. What's up with all of the exclamation points? Really no need for just about all of them. A simple period works fine.
Other than those two things it's not bad.
I thought, 'oh this isn't clop but- O GOD IT IS!!
Rewrite please? The grammer is horrible and as I have seen in many of your later stories you get much better. This story would be a whole lot better if it did go through a rewrite.
I almost stopped reading right there. You DO NOT use exclamation points when a character is speaking calmly.
And now having seen the comments of the other readers, I am now Downvoting this. You killed my interest in under ten paragraphs. That is a record for sucking.
Wow, everything happened so fast with so little detail I'm not entirely sure what happened. But I look forward to the adventure ahead regardless.