Chapters Next
Close
A Meeting with a Jerk2,139 words
Chase McJerk Strikes Again2,333 words
Chase Mc...Quiet?2,915 words
The Forest2,952 words
Impossible2,244 words
In the Hall of the Everfree King3,073 words
Well, That Happened3,003 words
Cancelled, but I can finally explain!1,601 words

A Meeting with a Jerk

A somber atmosphere hung over the funeral procession. Ponies walked in silence behind those carrying the casket, all following an aging stallion in black robes as they made their way up the hill. They had entered the cemetery moments ago, and every tombstone they passed only drove their sorrow further. An alicorn of purple coat trailed behind and looked up at the overcast sky, tears staining her face.

Rainbow would have cleared those clouds. She wouldn’t want them. Not today, she thought. Hoofsteps slowed in front of her, a pastel rainbow fluttered into her view for a second, then the steps kept pace with her own. Neither pony said a word, however. There were no words.

The procession reached the highest point of the hallowed ground and crowded around a tent that covered a hole, a marker already placed before it. Other markers similar to this one sat on either side, cutie marks engraved beneath names and dates. With the casket set in place on the elevator, the pallbearers pulled back, letting the minister stand to the side and wait for everyone to gather.

Princess Twilight Sparkle, with Princess Celestia at her side, took her place beside the empty grave. Her gaze lowered and lingered on the tombstones surrounding it. To the left, three pink butterflies, then balloons of blue and pink on the next. On the right side, apples adorned the stone beside a tree. There was a space still open beside that one.

She looked into the crowd, nodding gently towards an elegantly dressed mare. Her coat had lost the shine it once had as grey hairs blended in with the remaining violet ones in her mane. Bobbing her head in return, the mare dabbed her blue eyes with a black kerchief and watched the minister begin.

“Ladies and gentlecolts, we are gathered here on this somber day to pay our final respects to one of Equestria’s finest heroines.” He pulled a small book from his robes and flipped it to a marked page as the audience bowed their heads. “There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens.

“A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant. A time to wound, and a time to heal; a time to tear down, and a time to build. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them; a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces. A time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away. A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to be silent, and a time to speak. A time to love, and a time to hate.

“I have considered the task which the Gods has appointed for mortals to be busied about. They have made everything appropriate to its time, and has put the timeless into their hearts. ” With a slap of the book closing, he brought the mass out of their prayers. “There is little else I can say that has not already been said, so if there is any out there who wish to speak, I give the floor to you.”

The aging mare stood, followed by an orange pegasus, then another pony. Another and another and another. Then, in the back where he could fit without issues, a dragon stood to his full height, clearing the ponies’ heads by a meter. A bittersweet smile graced the minister’s lips and he stepped aside, motioning for the mare to start.

She stepped forward. “Thank you, Father.” Glancing at Twilight, she drew what strength she could, then turned back to the crowd. “I… was with Rainbow Dash when she passed. Let it be known that she did not leave us in sorrow, and we shouldn’t say goodbye to her in sorrow. She wanted us to be happy and to live fulfilling lives, even if she never said as much.

“Being friends with her was a challenge. She’d refuse to do anything she deemed ‘too girly,’ which ended up being everything I did, by her own admission. But... what she thought was different from what she said almost every time she said anything. She was tricky like that... and we loved her for it all the same. She—”

Her voice caught. Squeezing her eyes shut, she held back the tears. “If she ever said anything to hurt or offend you, look back on that and see how she might have used those words to push you to better yourself.” Just as the first tear began to fall, she hid herself in the mass again.

The other ponies sat down, unable to draw the strength to follow or think of something that had not been said. Silence reigned as the minister cast his gaze over the crowd. When he turned towards the princesses, he saw them peering at the back. “Spike,” Twilight began, making the ponies shift their attention to the dragon, “go ahead.”

“Gee, Twilight, nice of you to put me on the spot,” he said, a deep baritone voice thrumming over the assembled. A few chuckles danced among them before he stood straight. “Rainbow Dash. There’s not much I can say that her name doesn’t already say about her. She was a rainbow in everything she did, and she did it with a speed none could match.

“I remember how often she would hurry her friends along, and yet never broke her loyalty to them when they were too slow for her tastes. And in the later stage of her life, I watched as she slowed down, but it was a feint, because just a few nights ago, she told me so. She told me, as a smile graced her lips, ‘I never slowed down. Everyone sped up to catch me.’ As I look around me, I now realize how true that was.

“Um, that’s it,” he finished meekly. Turning to the princess, he saw Twilight nod with a small smile. Confident he did well, he flopped on the ground to let the crowd’s attention slide back to the front.

Twilight pulled a pile of papers from under her wing and took a single step forward. Sparing a glance to find her place, she held her head high and opened her mouth to speak. “I…” Then she threw them away. “I don’t need these.” As paper fluttered to the ground, she spoke in earnest.

“Who is Rainbow Dash? She’s these papers falling to the ground. She’s the wind carrying them. She’s even the pressure that keeps them aloft. She is everything around you, because you can’t live without her.

“Rainbow was the embodiment of Loyalty, and without her Equestria would have been destroyed. She was the glue that kept us together, Element Bearers or not, and her actions will not be forgotten for years to come. She was the strength that pushed me, pushed all of us, to where we are today, and not a single one of us could ever thank her enough.

“She isn’t a was. She is. Just as those who have passed before her, everything that continues from this point is due to her guidance, her perseverance, and her friendship. She is, and always will be. Don’t forget that she is smiling down upon us even now, and though we feel heartache, we will follow in her hoofsteps.

“We will persevere, and we will strive, and we will overcome.”

Her speech finished, Twilight whispered for the father to finish and stepped back.

“Thank you,” the minister said as he took his place before the coffin again. “Thank you all for speaking, and thank you all for coming.” He scanned the ponies gathered one last time and gave a sympathetic smile to whoever needed it. “And thus ends tonight’s ceremony.” With a sigh, he stepped away and started his walk back.

The crowd thinned one by one until just the princesses, dragon, and two mares were left. They watched the groundskeeper as he lowered the casket, buried it, and placed flowers on the disturbed soil. They waited until they were alone, waited until every other pony had paid their respects. Then, as one, they wept.

“Hey.”

The mourners wanted to ignore the voice. They wanted to be alone, but they were princesses and friends of such, and couldn’t just shrug off another pony in mourning. So, with what energy they had, they turned to the voice, only to see a strange being.

It stood on two legs covered in a black denim material, the bottom of which ending with odd shoes of the same color that looked like they held a foot similar to Spike’s. The thing had two arms also similar to the dragon, but this being was covered in a pinkish-white skin from what could be seen beneath an open black coat that stretched nearly to the ground. Its head was flat from a lack of a muzzle, with beady eyes and an unkempt brown mane. They cast glances at each other as if to be sure they were seeing the same thing.

“Hello~,” it said, waving one of its appendages in front of the group. “You guys had a funeral, so you must be smart enough to understand me.”

The being’s logic was flawed, but the group could indeed understand it. Even so, they were speechless. Each of them turned to another, silently urging another to say the first words to a new being none of them had seen before, the death of a friend hindering their thoughts.

“Bah!” it said as it threw its hands towards the sky. “Just my luck.” It crouched down so it could look the unicorn and pegasus in the eye. “One of you,” it started, mimicking its voice with gestures,” point me to the closest cliff so I can jump off it and get out of here.”

“No!” all of them said as one, shocked.

“So you can speak! Hallelujah!” Jumping back to a stand, the being once again threw its hands to the sky. “Praise the Mud King!”

“The what?” Twilight asked, and inadvertently becoming the speaker for the group.

It turned its gaze towards the alicorn with a look. “The Mud King! Everyone’s heard of the Mud King. What are you? Stupid?”

Her brow furrowed as anger started its way to the forefront of the mare’s emotions. “Who are you to call me stupid, you… you… whatever you are!”

“Oh, nice comeback. Learn it from that thing there?” it countered, pointing towards the dragon. “I mean, if that’s supposed to be a dragon, it’s a pretty fugly looking one.”

“What did you call me?” the dragon asked, stepping into the fray. “I’m Spike, the Honored, and I won’t let you keep calling us names.” With a deep breath, he pulled himself up until he was standing on two legs, towering over the being who stood at the same height as the alicorns.

“Oh, pssh,” it said, waving a hand in dismissal of the dragon, “so you’re a foot higher than me. I can take you. Come at me, bro.”

Needing no more provocation, he lunged. The being stood idle, waiting until he was close, before shifting into motion. It slammed a palm into his stomach and arched its back, and then Spike was on the ground. With a well-placed strike, the fight was over and the dragon lay still.

“Well,” it began as it stood and turned from Spike, its coat trailing his movements. “That was easier than I was hoping for.” The ponies stared at it, their emotions running from shock to anger, until Celestia shielded the smaller mares with a wing. “Oh, what, is it your turn?” it asked, adding a mocking tone to it’s voice.

Silence fell over the group once again, tensions building as Celestia steadied herself for a fight. The being raised an eyebrow, as if it was contemplating the situation, before throwing its hands to the sky for the third time. “Nah, I’m done,” it said, and spun around. “You guys are boring, but maybe this place has something I can do to occupy myself.” Without waiting for a response, it started walking away, casually letting its arms swing at its sides as it whistled a jaunty tune.

“OH!” it called over its shoulder. “I’m a human, if you didn’t know. Call me Chase!” Then, it ran off towards the Everfree Forest, laughter and dust marking his route.

6,357 views

233

Chapters Next

Comments ( 17 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 17
- Newest First
- Oldest First

MuzaWaza

MuzaWaza #1 · Nov 14th, 2013 · · ·

Good intro if I say so myself.

Mous

Mous #2 · Nov 14th, 2013 · 8 · ·

What a dick.
Love it.

mapu

mapu #3 · Nov 14th, 2013 · · ·

So far better than most HiE fics.

Tyrant Molestia

Tyrant Molestia #4 · Nov 14th, 2013 · 5 · ·

You would make something like this.

MicNight

MicNight #5 · Nov 14th, 2013 · · ·

PRAISE THE MUD KING
love this story

Raistlin

Raistlin #6 · Nov 14th, 2013 · 7 · ·

“OH!” it called over its shoulder. “I’m a human, if you didn’t know. Call me Chase!” Then, it ran off towards the Everfree Forest, laughter and dust marking his route.