"Are you ready to see it?!" Pinkie Pie said as she walked the Cutie Mark Crusaders—Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo—to the Sugarcube Corner. As they entered the house and went up the stairs, Pinkie Pie just kept smiling that it almost looked liked it consumed her whole face.
"Tadah!!!" Pinkie Pie showed to the Crusaders the whole room, undecorated from its streamers, balloons and its walls all opaque.
Pinkie Pie’s eyes were light cerulean, her mane puffy like cotton candy yet soft, brilliant raspberry and her coat was pale, light grayish raspberry, and she was an Earth pony. To me she was just all pink from hooves to muzzle. Her cutie mark was two blue balloons with yellow strings and one blue balloon with a blue string.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders was a club consisting of Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and Babs Seed—four fillies in search for their cutie marks.
Apple Bloom was an Earth pony, had brilliant gamboge eyes, brilliant amaranth mane with a pink bow, and pale, light grayish olive coat.
Sweetie Belle was a Unicorn, had pale, light grayish harlequin eyes, mane colored grayish mulberry with pale, light grayish rose streaks, and light gray coat. Her magic aura was light green.
Scootaloo was a Pegasus pony, had grayish purple eyes, moderate cerise mane, and light brilliant gamboge coat.
Babs Seed was also an Earth pony and cousin of Apple Bloom from Manehattan, had moderate spring bud eyes, her mane was light brilliant amaranth with brilliant amaranth streaks, and brilliant gamboge coat.
"Uh, why are we even here?" Sweetie Belle asked.
Pinkie Pie zipped towards the filly comically. "Well, I want to give this floor some refreshment and help you filly-willies get all your cutie marks," she then zipped above them. "So it would be twice as fun for you girls and me to enjoy! Whattcha say, fillies?!"
The Crusaders looked at each other, unsure. "Uh, Pinkie Pie," Apple Bloom said. "Sorry, but, we're a bit busy today,"
"What do you mean?" Pinkie Pie asked.
"We already planned to do something today."
"What is it then?"
"MARATHON RUNNING!!!" the Crusaders answered in unison as they galloped out of the place like three rabid squirrels chasing a runaway acorn with legs.
"Oh, okay!" Pinkie Pie said, still happy. "I'm just gonna—"
The decorations she needed flew off in every direction, causing a mess. Pinkie Pie just gawked in wonder. ANd the decors stopped.
"That's the sixth time!" Pinkie Pie said happily as she clapped her hooves. "Well, back to work then!"
In the middle of decorating, a Pegasus Royal guard bumped into Pinkie Pie and stumbled her while she was sweeping while dancing and while decorating. She looked at the Pegasus. The Royal guard was clad with armor of gold, like any other in Canterlot. The Crystal Empire’s Royal guards’ armor were the same, but were exclusively crystal sheen with more decorative details—gleams and shininess.
"Welcome to Sugarcube Corner!” Pinkie Pie said cheerfully and salute to her customer as if she was one of the Royal guards herself. "How may I help you?"
In the quiet, white clouds in the sky, a streak of rainbow color zoomed out of a nimbus cloud, dispersing it into puffs like smoke.
"Let's try it again!" Rainbow Dash said as she flies to every part of the sky above Ponyville. "I'm going to—" Before she finishes her sentence, she suddenly veered down from her straight coursing and crashed down into the ground, head first. As she raised herself from the ground and getting her hoof up, her mouth was filled with dirt and her nose with worms.
Rainbow Dash’s eyes were moderate cerise, her mane colored as a rainbow—a combination of light brilliant red, light brilliant vermillion, light gold, moderate sap green, brilliant cornflower blue, and moderate violet—and her coat very light cerulean, and she was a Pegasus pony. Her cutie mark was a blue-red-yellow lightning bolt with a cloud.
She spat the dirtiness and worms, and shook herself to cleanliness. "What happened? I thought my flight was perfect?!" she flew again above.
As Rainbow Dash soared through the skies again, she passed by a yellow cloud chasing a flock of pigeons. "That's the sixth time already," she said as she rolled her eyes annoyingly. "I saw weird clouds before, and that yellow one's one of them." She snorted. "I'll deal with that later. What's the worst that could happen when that thing finally catches one?"
"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Rarity screamed inside her closet of her boutique. She continuously screamed her voice high-pitched and ear-piercing. She went out of her closet and looked around her in desperation, trying to find a way to stop herself from screaming. First, grabbed her glass of water and drank it while screaming, which was quite weird. She wasn’t able to swallow the water; instead it just overflows her mouth and made gargling sounds. She spat the water out, but she's still screaming. Out of panic, she began putting her own draft of clothes into her mouth and rolled on the floor as if she’s on fire—from screaming. After a few minutes later, her urge to scream disappeared. She spat out the clothes she stuck in her mouth, all of them wet.
Rarity’s eyes were moderate azure, her mane bouncy curved and stylish moderate indigo and on the shadow side a gradient of dark mulberry to moderate mulberry, and her coat light gray, and she was a Unicorn. Her cutie mark was three lozenge diamonds.
"Now, that was quite odd," Rarity said. "Why did I scream so loud? And why did I have that sudden urge to do that?" Rarity thought for a while. "Well, no matter!” She then just went back to her work. "My slobber is that putrid?!"
"A good walk with me in Ponyville should make you feel better. Right, Angel?" Fluttershy said to Angel the rabbit. The two were walking together in Ponyville’s quiet street. "Do you want anything, Angel?" Fluttershy asked the rabbit. The rabbit, expressionless, just shook. "Oh well then, we'll just—"
Angel suddenly hopped around her frantically, like the rabbit was trying to tell her something.
The rabbit's eyes were black with white pupils and his coat was white.
Fluttershy’s eyes were moderate cyan, her mane pale, light grayish rose, and coat pale, light grayish gold, and she was a Pegasus pony. Her cutie mark was three butterflies with cyan bodies and pink wings.
"What's wrong Angel—" Angel then hopped too high into sky and bumped into Rainbow Dash, who was in a middle of flying. Angel and Rainbow Dash then crashed into Applejack, who was pulling a cart of apples. Apples were spread everywhere on the street after the impact. Fluttershy then came to Rainbow Dash, Angel and Applejack, all dizzy but unscathed, except for the cart.
Applejack’s eyes were moderate sap green, her mane pale, light grayish olive, and coat light brilliant gamboge. She wore a Stetson hat on her head, and she was an Earth pony. Her cutie mark was three red apples.
"Are you three okay?" Fluttershy asked in a soft voice.
Rainbow Dash got on her hoof. "Yeah we're fine," Rainbow Dash irritatingly said. "That was the sixth crash today making a total of thirty-six crashes within six days.” The rainbow-maned pony didn't mention about the yellow cloud.
Fluttershy grabbed Angel with her mouth unto her back. Applejack stood up and looked at all the apples on the street. She quickly gathered all the apples, along with Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, into one place.
After the three gathered the apples, Applejack then faced to Rainbow Dash. "You said this is your sixth crash today and thirty-six in all within six days?" Applejack asked.
"Yeah!" Rainbow Dash replied as she flew up. "I don't know why, but my flying is always perfect! It’s been going on like that for six days."
"That's strange. When I was buckin' some apples back in the orchard, these weird yellow weeds began sprouting everywhere in the acres. It kept goin' for six days, countin' today. Me and Big Mac got rid of the recent weird weeds this morning. Believe me, they were really buzzin' my ears."
"And a while ago," Fluttershy joined in, "The animals in the woods just won't come near me for six days. I became desperate, but I was able to control myself this time thanks to Angel's company." She snuggled her rabbit affectionately. "I just don't know why. Oh, I hope they would like me again."
After her story, Rainbow Dash cracked into laughter and fell on the ground rolling. "You wanna be forever alone with a bunny? I'll remember it!"
She kept laughing and laughing until Applejack glared at her and stopped.
"Uh, sorry," Rainbow Dash apologized as she scratched her mane in abashment.
In a library atop an ivory tower, Twilight Sparkle was dodging books falling from their shelves. She stopped and immediately used her magic (its aura was light brilliant raspberry) and conjured a dome to protect herself, while she scowls.
"I'm here to just dust off and organize these books while waiting for Cadance's instructions for our royal meeting later," she muttered, "and this is what I get as a welcome-back party?!" The Princess turned around and just saw hail of books. It was as if the book rain would never end. "First the Golden Oak's Library's books were flying and I had to stop them and search for the rest of the other missing books all over Ponyville yesterday...and now falling books?! All I'll also call this disorganized."
The rain finally stopped and Twilight flared her nostrils.
"Spike!!!" Twilight Sparkle called. Her face was full of shock and disbelief. Spike then came. Spike’s eyes were moderate pistachio, his spike frill moderate harlequin, and his scales light mulberry with a light spring budish gray underbelly and light lime green "ears".
"What's going on, Twi?" Spike asked.
Twilight Sparkle's eyes were moderate violet, her mane silky straight with bangs and colored moderate sapphire blue with moderate violet and brilliant rose streaks, and her coat pale, light grayish mulberry, and she was an Alicorn. Her cutie mark was a pink six-pointed surrounded by five small sparkles.
"I organized these books six hours ago and left for a meeting with Princess Celestia. And when I came back, all the books are disorganized. This is already the sixth time." Twilight looked around.
"Don't worry, Twilight," Spike said as if he always said that, which was true. "You can just organize them again. It's no biggie since you can organize very well.” Seriously, Spike thought. They’re just all mixed up. It’s not that even important, Twi.
"I know, but in a few minutes I'll be having a meeting with Princess Cadance in this library. Then I’ll have a lot more."
"Well, we can just organize these books later—"
Princess Cadance entered the library. Her eyes were grayish purple, her mane curly-licked by its tips and colored dark violet with moderate roses and pale gold streaks, and her coat pale, light grayish cerise, and she was an Alicorn, just like Twilight and the rest of the princesses. Her cutie mark was a teal crystal heart with a gold lace.
Twilight then sighed, smiled and walked to the princess.
"Hello, Twilight," Princess Cadance greeted. "We need to postpone our meeting first.
Twilight sighed in relief, but her face turned to question. "Why will it be postponed? Is there something wrong?"
"You'll find out soon once you and Spike come with me to the throne room with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna."
Spike and Twilight looked at each other, and then walked with Cadance.
The royal gates opened were opened, by two Unicorn Royal guards with their magic, for Twilight, Spike and Cadance to enter.
Princess Celestia's throne room was a long hall. The floor was a checkered pattern of light-blue and white, with a long red carpet decorated with yellow hearts. Detailed-marked, marble columns supported the room's roof and were ornamented with flowers and flags. On the sides were tall glass windows and stained ones, depicting the past, memorable and noble events in Equestria—Discord's defeat, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna's ruling over Equestria, Nightmare Moon's banishment to the moon for a thousand years, Twilight and her friends wielding the Elements of Harmony to wipe out Nightmare Moon back into Princess Luna, and Twilight Sparkle's transformation into a princess—into an Alicorn.
Where is Flash? Twilight thought. Twilight, no time for that—this might be really important! She then asked Cadance, "What are we doing here?"
"I really don't know," Cadance replied. "Princess Celestia might fill you in the details. I'll see you soon then, Twilight."
They stopped at the end of the carpet before Princess Celestia, Princess Luna and Twilight's friends, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rarity. Cadance bid Twilight goodbye and left the throne room.
Princess Celestia’s eyes were pale, light grayish magenta, her mane ethereal—swaying just like Luna’s—striped with light cerulean, light turquoise, very light cobalt blue and pale heliotrope, and her coat light fuchsiaish gray, and her cutie mark was a stylized sun. She wore a gold collar with a purple lozenge gem on the center and a gold crown with the same gem.
Princess Luna’s eyes were moderate cyan, her mane was moderate cobalt blue—I loved cobalt blue, besides anything green and yellow—and her coat was dark sapphire blue, and her cutie mark was a crescent moon on a dark background. She wore a black collar with a moon on its center and a black tiara.
Twilight was both surprised and happy to see her friends again with all their smiles and good nature, but that didn’t answer her question.
"What's going on?" Twilight asked again.
There was silence at first. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna then looked at each other. Celestia then spoke up, "I know all of you are wondering why the lights are off, the Royal guards not in and all of you here, correct?"
"Yes, princess," Twilight replied. "What's going on again?"
"I had this ominous feeling in my spines. And I have something important to tell all of you, which is connected to all your minor mishaps probably a while ago—or the past six days.”
The Mane Six widened their eyes and asked in unison, “How do you know?”
"Why are they so important, princess? And how do you know about all that?" Applejack asked.
"I'll explain by telling you all of what I’ve dream last night,” Celestia replied.
"It's story time!" Pinkie Pie excitedly sat on the floor and brought out a box of popcorn. Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.
"I was dreaming that I was in a field of evergreen," Celestia began. "I was looking at skies and the beautiful fields. Everything was peaceful, until the clouds turned gray. The clouds thundered and strong winds blew everywhere like as if a typhoon was going to hit me. That was when I realized that it was caused by somepony. As lightning struck and blinded me for a second, a mysterious pony appeared in the shadows of the clouds.
"It then walked towards me. It appears to be an alicorn, but a stallion. His appearance is quite thin compared to a stallion and he has the same height as Luna, and a little of her built as well. He was light-green in color, his mane was cobalt blue and his eyes were golden yellow. When I looked through his eyes, it may appear to be innocent and timid, like Fluttershy's, but deep down I can feel...Dissonance."
He then began flying and displaying an aerial performance for me—flying patterns and tricks that were so alien to me that it looked like they were from another world. I smiled in delight, but I was a bit nervous. Lightning struck six times behind him, which indicates the number of days and each mishap you ponies are having—today was the sixth day and all your mishaps will be gone, by the way. He appears to have the same speed as Rainbow Dash. He then land in front of me and said this message that I might never forget:
Discord will arise in your land,
Which will dry up everything into sand
I will be the herald
And to enter a hoof in your land I shall.
I want to be friends
Let's be allies with no end
Cure me of the discord within
I Pinkie Promise that I'll not try to be Forbidden.
I will arrive soon
Please be brave and not be gloom
Try to get to know me
And in the end we shall see.
After the message, I was in shock. I then asked 'who are you?' He then replied to me his name: Iwano Imagination.”
...why all the moderates?! Almost every color you mention you place in the moderate category, but all the colors in the show are bright, vibrant, no "moderate" at all. Moderate just implies that the colors are dull and grayed. Also we know what the ponies in the show look like, so for Applebloom you can just say something like "red-maned filly" as a description, or for scootaloo "orange Pegasus filly", or for rainbow "prismatic mare" or something like that. It makes the reading go smoother and even though using colors like raspberry for twilights aura may be more accurate, that doesn't necessarily make them better. Just use light purple for that instead, people still see it as the same color but they don't need to read about a few thousand different words for what's basically the same color. When introducing new characters however it would be okay to do a full-description and use things like "coal black coat" and "cherry red mane", basically comparing the color to something else like it instead of using the item as a color itself, I.e.
"A tall, coal black Pegasus stallion with a beet-red mane and cerise eyes"
Versus
"A tall, moderately coal-colored Pegasus stallion with a beet mane and cherry eyes"
See the difference? The first one flows better and paints a better picture than the second, along with being easier to write and understand.
Please take this into consideration and edit these changes into your story. Really other than the problem that I addressed it's really good, and remember, even though YOU may understand it perfectly and know what's going on, the READER probably doesn't. Thank you and I hope you have a good day.