• Published 1st Mar 2012
  • 3,966 Views, 43 Comments

Controlled Chaos, Chaotic Control - Siswitch

Will Discord give up chaos for love? No. But will he be able to hide his passion from the princess?

  • ...

Controlled Chaos

“My dear Celestia... I’ve missed you.”
“I’m not your dear anything”
“How naive you are.”


Celestia tried to get comfortable in her bed but it was to no avail, she knew her uncomfortable sleepless night was nothing to do with her luxurious bed. Rather it was an uncomfortable thought that plagued her, a problem that she could not solve no matter how many times she went over it in her head.

Emotions always had to ruin straight thinking. They poisoned rational thought and twisted your views of what was right.
She knew this because it was those parasitic emotions that she could not rid herself off that got her into her current situation.

The alicorn gave a small sigh as she felt a warm body press up against hers, flinching as she felt talons wrap around her stomach. The draconequus chuckled and stroked her stomach mock soothingly.

“What’s the matter? Too cold?” His grin stretched wider as he watched her magenta eyes glance at him sheepishly. He tightened his grip on her waist to hold her closer, resting his head on her flowing mane.

“No... I just... I can’t believe I’m here again.” Her voice didn’t sound scared but it was weak and quiet as she scanned down his mismatched body, his snake tail was playfully wrapping and unwrapping itself around her right hind leg, he chuckled and nuzzled up to her.

“How come? Don’t you sleep here every night?” He teased, closing his eyes as he found a comfortable spot against the alicorn. Celestia sighed at his sarcastic remark and glanced around her room, such a regal and prestigious bedroom seemed like the last place a spirit of chaos would spend the night.

“You know what I mean.”

“Do I just have that charm about me?” He opened his eyes again and kissed Celestia’s cheek, she sighed yet again at that, he gave a low chuckle at her sigh and held her tighter. “Oh come on, you know that’s why you turned me back.”
Celestia looked at him with slightly narrowed eyes, something about Discord made her weak and that was the reason she couldn't help stop him when he escaped the first time. Something about the Draconequus made her remember the old times when the land was young.

“I turned you back because I thought I could change you. I didn’t think you’d... Do this to me again.” She narrowed her eyes accusingly and turned away from him. Discord raised an eyebrow in slight shock, in all honesty he thought he was doing her a favour, a thousand years of loneliness was the reason, or so he thought, she changed him back. “I thought maybe I could... Make you behave.”

Discord nuzzled up to the back of her neck and gave a weary sigh, wrapping his back leg over her flank causing her cutie mark to disappear under his thigh. He loved how she didn’t resist when he went to hold her closer to him.

“Behave? Celestia I've been awake for three hours and I haven’t made one apple-yoyo or even a simple cotton candy cloud! That’s AMAZING for a spirit of chaos such as myself. I mean, I'll never CHANGE change but... I'm behaving!”

At that Celestia has no answer. She was quite impressed at him for lasting this long but she was still ashamed that he used her old infatuation against her. But one thing she couldn’t be sure of is if he’d submit to chaos again, but it sounded very likely.

“Discord....” Celestia was too tired to argue anymore. Discord smiled at her sleepy eyes and gently stroked her mane, making her eyes slowly close as she enjoyed that feeling. He grinned as he watched her slowly fall asleep as he held her.

“Rest, my dear... You have a big day tomorrow. Raising the sun at the correct time, and all that organised rubbish.” He muttered. As she fell asleep in his arms Discord pondered how long he could last without causing havoc, not long, he surmised that soon he’ll give into his old ways.... But for now he was free thanks to Celestia, she wouldn’t wake until the sun was supposed to rise. He grinned at the thought of causing some temporary chaos during the night as she slept to tide him over.

Faster than the eye can see he created a temporary duplicate in his place, holding his dear Celestia. With his sly smile he quietly slipped out of the castle like a shadow, being carefull that the guards didn’t see him as they were under specific instructions not to let Discord outside. Discord felt a wave of pride wash over him as he successfully weaved the vast corridors of his mares castle.

Once outside he headed to the gardens he was so familiar with. Most of the flowers had closed for the night and where resting like his sweet alicorn but some were still in bloom, taking in the moonlight like Discord was.

“So many years I looked over this place.” He said to no one. “It burned me up how slowly the flowers grew.” His fingers twitched in anticipation as he thought of the perfect chaos to wreak on the flower bed, he whispered quietly to himself to be patient, savouring the moment as he would not have an opportunity like this for a while again.

“You’re up late.” Discord froze as he heard the regal voice, as if turned to stone again, slowly his body relaxed and in a nonchalant way he turned to the princess of the night. Princess Luna glared at him with an accusing look much like her sisters, she had objected heavily to her sister about him coming out fearing he would hurt her and now catching him out so late, the accusing look was well deserved.

“Well somepony has to enjoy your beautiful night.” He continued a nonchalant tone, hoping to look innocent. “It’s such a shame that so many miss it...” He shook his head and tsked mock solemnly, hoping that maybe he could cause some sibling chaos instead.

“I don’t mind anymore.” Luna narrowed her eyes, seeing right through him, “Many a pony uses my night to clear their heads or walk side by side with their lovers.” Her face softened a little “My night offers protection, solitude.”

Discord resisted the urge to look disappointed, instead nodding in ‘agreement’ and going to walk away from the princess with a foolish hope she would not follow. Luna trotted along beside him, not letting him out her sight for even a second.

“Why, exactly, are you following me?” He put on a smile. The princess put on an equally fake one as well.

“Well obviously you wanted to go for a walk so I’ll follow you.” She looked away from him and said casually “This is a good twist of fate, I had a few questions I needed to ask you.”

A sinking feeling rose in the spirit of chaos. He opened his mouth to speak,

“Number one;” She cut him off with her bold voice before he could refuse “Have you touched my sister?”

The sensible part of Discord knew to lie but we all know that part of him is weaker than a newborn filly.

“Why yes, I have.” He said in a proud tone apparently forgetting he was talking to her sister. Luna stopped dead in her tracks, her mouth hanging open.

“You vile beast! How dare you touch my sister?!” Her voice was almost at royal Canterlot level as she furiously stomped her hoof against the stone path. Discord realised his error far too late and knew he was in very dangerous territory, saying the wrong thing now could be fatal.

“I-I... Well.. You see Luna.. When two ponies love each other very much-“

“Are you saying you love my sister?!” Her eyes flushed with rage, not believing it for a second but wanting to trip Discord up by making random anger fuelled accusations, she already had a fair few lined up and ready to fire.

“Well... I wasn’t.. I didn’t... “ A small sigh escaped him. “Obviously my feelings for her have lingered since we were young, Luna. They don’t simply disappear.” He desperately wanted to leave this awkward death trap. He didn’t care about his chaos urge, he simply wanted to be near Celestia where it was safe and no one was looking at him with murderous rage.
To his surprise, Luna’s rage seem to quell. Her face softened and her body relaxed. Discord narrowed his eyes a little in confusion as she looked at her hooves sadly.

“You... Do? I didn’t...” She glanced up at him, “I remember when we were young, before I was banished, you were crazy about her, are you saying you still feel that way?”

In all honestly Discord had forgetting his obsession. As he thought about it memories flooded back to him; the nights they spent talking about their future roles, the days he spent by her side playing with her despite her mothers obje- well in all truth he played with her especially because of her mother’s objections. He remembered them practising magic and failing miserably, the day Celestia got her cutie mark as she raised the sun herself for the first time, the day Discord realised he could never be with her, the day he lashed out at the world and the day his love for chaos was born.
His face grew blank as he thought over all the new colliding thoughts in his head. The thought that especially stood out was when he realised he could never be with her. He was a spirit of chaos, he was made to create chaos. Chaos was a part of him, that part was still frustrated that his previous attempt was interrupted, that part still called out to him like a beacon in the boring, organised night.

Something as chaotic as him was never meant to be with a Goddess.

He would succumb to chaos.

He would lose her again.

So was it worth it?

“Discord?” Luna snapped him out of his trance, her words carried a urgency like the whole world depended on his answer. In truth, it did. “Do you still love her?”

“.... Of course I do.” He muttered, not focussing on Luna at all. It was as if he was reminding himself instead of telling Luna, “Of course I love her. Despite her being so boringly normal she’s... Astounding.”

Luna stared at him, not knowing what to say or do, she knew her anger still remained but part of her pitied him. She knew the inevitable as much as Celestia and Discord did and the pain she felt was not for him but for her older sister. A pain in her heart, almost preparing her for the pain she’ll have to see in her sisters face.

“If you excuse me.” He said quietly, all his usual zest completely drained from his voice, “I need to go to bed.”
The draconequus slowly walked into the castle, putting one mismatched foot in front of the other. He hated the feeling in his chest, fear, love and hatred, though he could not place who the hatred was for.

Was it for himself for being so addicted to chaos? He did not know.

Was it for Celestia for being so damn important? He was not sure.

Maybe it was for Luna for seeing him so upset and weak, if just for a moment? That could be it.

All he knew was that he loved Celestia and that he’d have to break her heart eventually. He needed chaos, he thrived off it.

He couldn’t go much longer without it.

Well, maybe he could last a few more days.