Why was I so lucky? Because magic

by Artyom the Brony

Not the parade!

I was staring at the screen along with Griffin, in the same shocked state that he was. Here we were, watching out show animate itself. It was like the show had deemed us unworthy, and was now going along with what it thought was best. We created this thing! Now it’s… doing something.

Etrius was having a conversation with Twilight that we had never written, going through animation that was far too detailed and realistic to be animation… what the hell was happening?

“Artyom?” Griffin asked

“Yeah…” I responded.

“I think… we need to call someone,” he said

“Agreed,” I answered.

But neither one of us moved, too focused on what was happening in front of us.
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“Waaaake uuuuup! I’m sooo boooored!” Dash complained.

I continued to make horribly unbelievable fake snoring noises.

“Honk… shoooooo… Honk… shoooooo,” I repeated over, and over, and over again.

I had been doing this for the past ten minutes, and it was somehow entertaining to see what Rainbow Dash would try and do next. For the next twenty minutes or so while she was madly in love with me, I decided it would be funny to mess around with her.

“Please?” She asked.

Eh, it’s getting kind of old anyways.

“Honk… oh wait what where am I?” I said, getting up from the couch and looking around.

“FINALLY! You’re so annoying sometimes… but I love you anyways,” Dash said, crawling under me to get maximum bodily contact.

I sat up, dragging her rather light form with me. Twilight was still looking over the things in the microscope, and she had a clock right next to her. When did that get there?

“Hey Twilight what’s with the clock?” I asked.

“Hm? Oh, you actually fell asleep at some point, so I got this. Dash will snap out of it in a minute… exactllllllly now,”

“Oh… cool,”

“So… you wanna make out?” Dash asked, flopping onto my lap.

“In one minute and one seconds we can make sweet sweet,” I paused, swallowed the vomit in my mouth, and continued. “Love… blehuhugh,”

“I’M COUNTING!” Dash shouted, flying over to the clock and staring at it like a cat to it’s human slave when it’s hungry. Seriously, you can’t deny that logic! When a cat is hungry, it comes over to you, yowls, and you do as it commands. Who’s the real pet?

“Thirty seconds…” Dash said with excitement. She started hopping up and down, swishing her tail so I could AVERT YOUR EYES! OH GOD NO!

I spun around and slammed my face into the couch, trying to get that scarring image out of my head. Oh memory, I’m so sorry, please forgive me. Eyes, my bad, ohhh Odin whyyy? Why was I so unfortunate? Wait… they’re all naked… every single one… dear sweet Odin please send me home. I would love to be the only clothed man in a women only nudist colony, but not mares. Just nope.

“Wait… I feel… normal?” Dash said

“Oh… heh… sorry about that Etrius,” Dash said, looking at the floor.

“Don’t worry about. My fault anyways. So! Why’d you come here?” I asked.

“Oh, well I came here to tell Twilight the Princess was coming here in an hour,”

“But you came here an hour ago,” I pointed out.

The room went deathly silent. We both looked to Twilight, who was staring off into space, her hair slowly popping and twisting into the most unruly looking thing ever. I don’t even know how it did that. Her eye started to twitch, and her knees started to shake.

“We should probably go,” Dash advised.

“Agreed,”

We both silently started to walk towards the door. Dash opened it, and I slipped on out. We quietly closed the door and walked away from the library.

“RAAAAIIIINBOW DAAAAAASH!” Twilight shouted.

“NOPE!” Dash shouted, flying off into the sky as a streak of multicolored light.

I placed a hand on my forehead to shield my eyes from the sudden light as I watched her zoom off into the distance. She slammed into a group of clouds… somehow, and wiggled inside them. She them poked out two little eyeholes and I saw her looking around frantically. Is this place one giant practical joke? Well whatever, I’m gonna have some stories for the guys up in Valhalla.

Twilight burst out of the door and ran out into the street, drawing even more attention.

“RAINBOW DASH YOU GET BACK HERE!”

Yup, cartoon show.

“Twilight, chill, it was my fault not hers. Besides, we have like, until now to prepare. That’s plenty of time!” I said enthusiatstically.

“Plenty of time! WHAT DO YOU MEAN PLENTY OF princess…” She said, dropping to a whisper on the last word. I turned around rather calmly and looked into Celestia’s eyes.

“Yo what’s up?” I asked, jerking my head upwards.

She raised an eyebrow.

“A pleasure to meet you again Etrius. We have much to discuss,” She said, walking past me and into the treehouse.

I shrugged, and walked back in with Twilight. Two guards took points beside the door and, well… guarded. Celestia closed the door with her magic and took a seat. I did likewise while Twilight took the floor.

“Uhh, Twilight?” I asked, getting her to look up at me. “Wouldn’t you rather have an actual seat?” I asked. “ I mean, it’s your house,”

“Oh… yes,” She said quietly, walking over and taking a seat next to me on the couch.

“Etrius, I understand you only have three days before you start releasing your pheromones again,” Celestia said.

“I call nope. It’s not pheromones, it’s normal breathing. It’s not supposed to do that to people,”

“Regardless, Twilight sent me a letter containing all the information, and we have easy access to all those materials save one,” she said

“Uuuuuugh… why can’t anything be easy?”

“Hmph. I would not expect laziness in a soldier,”

“Hey! Being lazy is hard work,” I said sternly, lazily pointing a finger in her general direction.

“Anyways, we can’t replicate the carbon filter,”

“My parade… no… hurricane Celestia noooo,” I said, slumping over.

Celestia raised an eyebrow and looked to Twilight.

“Ask him, he says weird things,” Twilight said, waving a hoof at me.

“I see. But unless you know exactly how to make them, then we will have to find an alternative solution to this problem,”

“Yeah… yeah I’m thinking about how world war one guys made gas masks. Eh, I have three days to think about it. I’m sure I’ll remember by then,”

“This is not the kind of thing to procrastinate,” Celestia said.

“Yeah? Well that’s exactly what my C.O. said when I was supposed to count the number of toothbrushes in the camp…”

“And? Twilight said “What happens next?”

“Nothing. I’m still trying to figure out why he said that,”

“Alright? So any ideas Etrius?”

“One… I said it recently. It will be crude… probably not work… and if it does it will be a pain in the neck to use properly and I have no idea how long the ‘filter’ would actually last,”

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“We should probably call someone,” Griffin said

“Yeah one second,” I replied. This was the fifth time we had gone through this routine. I should probably do something about that now.

Author's Note:

So yeah, I'm looking over this and feeling bad that it's so short. I will do better next time!

Comments

[Humbucker]

See, now you go me curious.

[Artyom the Brony]

3276731 HEUEHEUEHEHUAHAUHAUHAHA! Mission Accomplished.

[setablaze53]

Interesting.

[Artyom the Brony]

3296035 Well you're going to have to wait a long time. I like to procrastinate...