Chapter XXII: Devils and Dragons (Re uploaded)
Chapter XXII
Devils and Dragons
The crowd grew restless as Crimson made his way on to the field. A man with jet black hair and wings was waiting for him. A sword holstered at his side. Crimson cracked his neck and took his position. Twilight and the rest of the group made it back to their seats beside the Princesses.
“Ah Rouge,” Crow started. “how are you feeling?” He said with a warm smile on his face.
“Better than I was.” She said with a sigh. Crow nodded and stood up as he looked down at the two combatants.
“Are you two ready?” The two warriors nodded. “Begin!” Crow yelled. Crimson summoned his scythe and sliced a red beam through the air. The flyer took flight and avoided the blast. Crimson crouched and focused his magic into his feet before jumping high in the sky. As he got on the same level with the flyer. Gash increased his speed and flapped his wings towards the red mage.
The wind turned into two small twisters. Crimson was caught in mid air as they hit him. The wind was so fierce that it started to cut the man’s flesh. Crimson was being tossed around like a piece of paper in a twister. The invisible blades kept slicing at him The red mage fell back towards the ground and panted heavily. The flyer landed across from him and grinned.
“What kind of magic is that?” Rarity asked,
“It’s wind magic.” Rouge said. “Like Ivy’s fire and Cobalt’s metal, he uses the natural element to enhance his strength and magic.”
“But this entire place is air!” Dash yelled. “How is he supposed to beat something like that?” Crow raised an eyebrow at the flyer and chuckled.
“Just watch.” Crow chuckled. “Crimson has a few tricks up his sleeve.”
“Yeah we know he’s tough.” The farmer said. “We saw him take down an entire team during the first exam.”
“Tough? You haven’t even seen a fraction of what he can do yet.” Twilight then perked up.
“Crimson said he had some inherent magic. What is it?” Rouge and Crow gulped.
“Its....complicated.” Rouge said.
“How so?” Rarity asked.
“You see, he’s what you call a fusion of two bloodlines.” Crow stated. The girls looked at him in shock. “Why are you all looking like that for? Its far from uncommon.” He said with a raised eyebrow. “Take Ivy for example. Her father was a dragon slayer and her mother is a Druid.”
“A druid?” Twilight asked.
“Again, what are your teaching your pupil Tia?” Crow said as he face palmed. “Druids are better known as 'forest wizards.' The leader of the druid family that existed nine hundred years ago was able to tame the Everfree forest and bend it to her will.” The group looked at him in shock. “That combined with Ivy's dragon slaying magic makes her a force to be reckoned with.”
“What about Crimson?” Fluttershy asked.
“Him? He’s a special case.” Crow grinned.
“His shadow magic right?” Rarity asked.
“Wrong on that note.” Crow said.
“But we heard from Rouge and the others that shadow magic is almost impossible to master.” Fluttershy said.
“It is.” Luna said. “In theory anyone given enough time and patience could learn it.” She sighed.
“So if shadow magic isn’t his inherent magic then what is?” Twilight asked as Crow grinned.
“His father, Orion was from the exorcist dynasty.” Celestia and Luan gasped.
“Exorcist?” Twilight asked.
“A bloodline that specializes in dealing with demons and dark mages.” The girls then thought back to the nightmare moon conduit Crimson fought against. “There aren’t that many around but you can tell that he’s an exorcist.”
“How?”
“His eyes.” The group then looked at the mage’s blood red eyes.
“His eyes?” Rarity said in disbelief.
“People who derive from that bloodline all have red eyes. Same with his hair, but that comes from his mother’s side.”
“What magic did she have?” Dash asked.
“It’ll just be easier if you see it for yourself.” He said as they turned back to the fight.
Crimson was dodging the wind left and right. The red mage was feeling the effects of the cuts he was getting. The winged man started to clap and he smiled.
“Very good Crimson, you certainly are quick on your feet.” He said as he gripped his handle. “However, that won’t be enough to beat me.” He pulled out the handle and the crowd looked in confusion to see and empty handle.
“So that’s your weapon then?” Crimson said as he panted. The man slammed the handle in a vertical motion. Crimson immediately jumped out of the was to see a large slash mark appear where he once stood.
“What was that?” Dash yelled.
“Its a wind sword.” Rouge said. The girls looked at her in confusion. “The handle focuses the user’s magic into an element. The blade is literally made out of wind.” The group gulped and watched as Crimson dodged strike after strike. The flyer spun the blade in his hand and pointed it at the red mage.
“Sorry Crimson,” He said as the air around him started to move at a fast rate. “prepare to be blown away!” A bright light shot out of the handle and the red mage was instantly pinned against the far wall. As he was shot the wind seemed to act like blades and slash across his body. Twilight put a hand to her mouth in shock. Even Rouge gulped as she saw the damage on her friend’s body.
The bombardment kept up and the red mage was slashed from head to toe. As the bombardment ceased the red mage fell to the ground in a pool of his own blood. Crimson groaned on the ground in pain. “Pity, I figured that you’d be stronger than this.” The flyer sighed. “What a disappointment.” He said as he shook his head.
“Are you done talking?” The flyer looked ahead to see the red warrior standing, even smiling. A small trickle of blood seeped from his scalp. Crimson wiped the red liquid away. He looked at his bloodied palm and clenched his fist. “I was just feeling you out.” He said as he stared at the flyer.
Gash shot another of the blasts at the red mage who grinned. A massive red wall appeared in front of the mage and stopped the bombardment. The flyer looked in shock and saw that the wall was moving with the cuts and seemed to repair itself. As the bombardment ended the flyer’s eyes shrank as he saw that the wall appeared to be made of liquid.
The Princess’s eyes shrank at the spectacle. The man slammed his palm down on the ground. The flyer heard a cracking noise and looked down to see a red spike shoot up in front of the flyer who immediately took flight. The flyer felt something wrap around his leg and throw him against the wall. The flyer looked to see that an arm made of the red substance was sticking out of the spike. The red spike then receeded back down tha hole and back towards the red mage's feet. Gash looked in horror as he saw the red liquid seep into the man’s cuts.
“Okay, now I’m really fired up!” Crimson said as the crowd felt an immense amount of magical energy seep from the man’s body. The red pool Crimson was standing in started to shrink and go back into the man’s body. The damage he had taken seem to vanish from the mage’s skin.
Celestia glare at Crow who sat back and grinned. The six girls gulped and looked back at Crow.
“That’s his mother’s magic. Crimson inherent magic from Rosario is blood magic.”
“Blood magic?” Rarity asked.
“Its on the border of dark magic.” Celestia growled.
“Oh come now Tia, you’ve met Rose. You surely would have sensed it.” Crow said with a sigh. “Crimson mostly uses blood magic for healing purposes anyway.” Twilight then thought back when he had healed her when they encountered the bandits.
“How in the hay does that work?” Applejack asked.
“He accelerates the white blood cells in his body and that allows him to heal his wounds. Although it uses a lot of magic.” He sighed.
“Could he use it on someone else?” Twilight asked.
“Of course, but he doesn’t have the skill to manipulate it like his own.” Crow sighed. “Healing on the other hand is simple if he makes physical contact with another person.” He said as he scratched his chin. “Why?”
“No reason.” Twilight said as she blushed. The group turned their attention back to the fight. Crimson charged forward and was cutting through the wind blades like they were butter. The scythe’s edge glowed a bright red as it absorbed the magic from the blasts.
What is going on? They’re not even having an effect! Crimson slammed the butt end of the scythe into the man’s jaw. Crimson followed up with a blast of magic from his left palm and into the man’s gut. The flyer took flight once more and soared high in the sky. Crimson scoffed and replaced his scythe with the rifle. Crimson fired off several rounds at the flyer who dodged it with ease.
“Get down here and fight like a man!” Crimson bellowed. He kept firing the rifle in rapid succession. “Ugh! This isn’t duck hunt ya know!” He said as he kept firing. Crow face palmed and groaned.
That temper. He’s definitely Rosario’s son. He shivered as he remembered the red haired woman occasionally beating the crap out of him.
“Missed me again!” The flyer mocked.
“Fine! Then I’ll come up there!” Crimson yelled. The flyer grinned at beating the mage on his turf. Crimson took a deep breath and cracked his neck. The air around him became ripe with magic and a pair of hand like wings sprouted from his back and a pair of horns sprouted from his head.
Celestia and Luna gulped as Crow gripped his cane. The crowd looked at one another in confusion at the man’s appearance. Crimson raised his hand like wings and sighed. “Time to test out this new spell.” He said as the knuckles of the wings cracked. Two massive spheres appeared in the palms of the wings and shined like two suns.
The flyer gulped as he saw the two spheres. The hands then came together and the spheres became one. The hands opened and a massive red beam shot out and rocketed towards the flyer.
Too big to dodge! He said as he put his guard up. He waited for the pain. The man opened his eyes and saw the stadium below him and could make out the looks of shocked faces. The large blast seemed to vanish from existence.
“Psst. Up here.” The flyer looked up and saw the red mage above him. Crimson raised his right fist and slammed it into the flyer’s head. Gash rocketed towards the ground with the red mage right behind him. Crimson slammed one of his enlarged fists into him and quickened his descent.
The flyer crashed into the ground and Crimson landed beside him. His wings went back inside his body as the flyer groaned.
“Crimson Storm is the victor.” The flyer opened his eyes and struggled to get to his feet. Crimson extended his arm and the flyer gladly took it.
“Anything broken?” He asked as he helped him to the side of the arena.
“Nah, wing’s just fractured. I’ll live.” He said as the medics arrived. “That bit with the giant light show was just showing off.” The medics helped the flyer walk away from the mage. “I’ll beat you next time.”
“Promises, promises.” Crimson said as he teleported back to where Ivy and Cobalt were standing.
“Awesome!” Cobalt said as she high five’d him.
“Ugh! When is it going to be my turn!” Ivy whined. “I mean, you show off and take down an entire team. Then Rouge loses, how is she anyway?”
“She’s fine.” Cobalt grinned.
“Then you go and have a giant fight.” She said as she glared at Cobalt. “Then you go again! I’m getting robbed here!” Crimson rolled his eyes and chuckled. Ivy sawn the color drain from his face and Cobalt gulped.
“Looks like your prayers have been answered Ivy.” Crimson turned her around and the flyer’s eyes shrank at the board.
Ivy Evergreen
vs
Angel Frost
Ivy had a wicked smile spread across her face as she glared at the ice conduit who chuckled. Ivy jumped down to the field and waited. “This is not good.” Crimson said as he looked at the equally frightened blue flyer. The ice mage appeared as an icy mist that solidified into her normal body. Crimson turned into his shadow form and zoomed towards Crow.
The cyan flyer almost fell over in shock as she saw the dark object she had mistaken as a rogue cloud showed itself to be the red mage. He stood on the railing before hoping off and walking towards Crow.
“Ah Crimson, excellent match.”
“Thanks.” He said with a nod. The Princesses kept their gaze on him. Crimson leaned over and whispered something to the man. Crow nodded and stood up.
“Much like before, this battle will take place outside of the arena and will be viewed through the screens.” He said as he tapped his cane twice and the two fighters were transported outside the arena and into the field the blue flyer had used when he fought the titan.
“Thanks. Angel has been....difficult as of late.” Crimson said.
“Of course.” Crimson nodded and started to walk away. “Oh and Crimson.” The red mage stopped as he got to guard rail. “Should either of them get out of hand-”
“I’ll handle it.” He said before vanishing in a flash of red light. The group then saw a smiling woman make her way up towards them. Their eyes shrank as they saw her brown hair and wings coming from her back. Her green eyes had a shine to them.
“Ah Fern.” Crow smiled. “How are you doing?”
“Oh I’m just here to look after Rouge.” She said as she looked at the Changeling. Her voice was almost as soft as Fluttershy’s. “You still have a long way to go before you’re fully healed.”
“I wanted to see the matches.” Rouge pouted. Dash cleared her throat.
“Oh right, where are my manners?” Crow said. “Ladies, this is Fern Willow. Our herb specialist and Ivy’s mother.” The group looked at her in shock.
“Nice to meet all of you.” She said with a timid smile. The girls looked at the woman and back at Ivy. The physical similarities were there, but the attitudes couldn’t be farther a part. “I hope you don’t mind if I stay and watch Crow.”
“By all means. I don’t think our guests would mind.” He said as he looked at the Princesses.
“Its perfectly alright.” Celestia smiled. The flyer bowed and pulled out some ointment. Rouge raised her arm and the flyer put the lotion on her skin.
“Ow.” Rouge said as it stung her wounds.
“Sorry.” She said as the group turned and looked at the monitors.
The two female combatants looked at one another and grinned.
“Ready for a beat down ice witch?” Ivy said as light green aura coated her body.
“Whenever you are fire spitter.” The air around the conduit grew cold and a white magic encircled her body.
“Begin!” The two immediately locked blows and exchanged fists and kicks. The ground around the two seemed to be shifting from scorching hot to freezing cold. Ivy shot out several fire balls from her fist only for them to be countered by the conduit’s ice shield.
“Gonna hide behind an ice shield eh?” Ivy said as she took flight and started another round of flaming salvos. The mage’s shield then formed into spears.
“Catch!” Angel said as she launched the spears and extinguished the flames. The flyer pulled out her whip and changed it into the staff mode and started to attack Angel. The girl shifted her magic into a long sword and started to fend off the fire mage.
Ivy grunted and switched to the baton mode. She fired off shots of green energy that made the ice mage retreat. Angel returned fire with a blast of freezing gold wind laced with hardened snow. Ivy guarded herself against the ice balls and fell to the ground with several bruises on her arms.
“Ready to give up?” Angel smirked.
“In your dreams.” Ivy set aside her weapons and removed her brown fingerless gloves. As she focused her magic the image of a green flame shined on the back of her hands. He stuck out her right hand and snapped her fingers. Angel jumped to the right as the spot she was once occupying was wrapped in green flames.
Ivy snapped her fingers again and the ice mage was trapped by green flames. Ivy kept up the bombardment for two minutes straight until she felt herself tire out. The green flames kept burning as Ivy leaned herself on her knees and panted.
“Are you done?” Ivy looked up to see the conduit behind a massive wall of ice. Angel snapped her fingers and the remaining flames were encased in ice. Ivy gulped at the spectacle. The flyer slammed her hands into the dirt and the ground started to shake. A large tree sprouted out from the ground and shot towards the ice mage.
Angel focused her magic to her feet and the bottom of her shoes turned into ice skates. As the blades touched the dirt, the ground a round them seemed to turn to ice. The mage seemed to move like a gale force. Angel dodged the trees and a sword made of ice and cut through the trees and close in on the flyer.
Angel’s right fist seemed to change into a massive ice claw and she slashed at the flyer. Ivy ducked out of the way as the razor sharp claws went over her head. The fire mage then delivered an uppercut to the conduit’s chin. Angel was sent flying back a good five feet.
“Just give up Angel. You couldn’t hit-” The flyer gasped as she saw the ice mage holding a lock of green hair.
“Oh crap.” Rouge said as she gulped.
“Oh dear.” Fern said with a shiver.
“What?” Dash said.
“Did Crimson mention that Ivy was really sensitive about her hair?” Rouge said.
“Yeah he mentioned it.” Twilight said. “Why?”
“You see,” Fern started. “Ivy has always been touchy about her hair. Even when someone would so much as touch it without her permission they’d spent at least a week in the infirmary.” The girls all gulped. “Now that Angel just cut a piece off, Ivy is going to go all out on her.”
Ivy’s right eye twitched and the air around her went up ten degrees. The ice mage raised an eyebrow as a bright green aura radiated from her body.
“You are gonna pay!” Ivy screamed as she shot forward at a speed that even the cyan flyer couldn’t follow. Angel looked down to see a fist slamming into her face and propelling her into the sky. Ivy was close behind and bombarded the mage with punch after punch.
Angel coughed up some blood as ivy stopped the punches and flew around behind her and delivered a bone shattering kick to the conduit’s back. Angel was now shooting towards the ground. Her eyes shrank as she saw the green blur land where she was falling to. Ivy jumped and spun in mid air.
As the ice mage came into proximity, Ivy focused what was left of her magic into her right leg and slammed it into the conduit’s side. Angel was sent flying across the field and into a boulder that could level Twilight’s library. The boulder was reduced to rubble as the white haired mage slammed into it. The green flyer panted heavily and let out a massive roar that shook the surrounding area.
Spike who was biting his nails in fear heard the roar and gulped. Crow took note of the boy’s eyes and nails.
“You might want to pay attention young man.” He said as the group looked back at him.
“What was with that roar?” Dash asked.
“The roar of a dragon.” Crow said.
Ivy panted heavily and cracked her neck. She looked down at her feet and saw the pebbles moving. The ground was shaking and the rubble from the boulder started to shift. A blast of white magic shot out and was on a collision course with the green flyer. Ivy dodged the blast and saw it hit a nearby tree.
The large plant was immediately encased in ice. Ivy gulped and looked back at the mound of rubble. Her eyes shrank and her throat seemed to dry up when she saw the white mage standing. Her eyes were white with magic and seemed to be pouring out of her body. Cracks appeared across her skin as more magic poured out.
“Seal release level two.” She said as her body seemed to explode with power. Ivy sheltered herself from the icy wind and tried to stay on her feet. When the wind stopped the flyer felt her hopes freeze up as she saw the woman standing before her wearing white armor and a pair of white wings made of ice were sprouting from her back.
Atop her head were a pair of white horns that curved upward along with a mask over her face. The girls once blue eyes were now blood red and she held a long sword made of ice in her hand. “Now we’re gonna have some fun!” She yelled.
“That is the monster that resides within Angel.” Crow said as he looked at the shocked women’s faces. “The Ice Wraith.” He said as the demon roared. “Legend says that during the days of King Sombra, the Wraith was leader of the resistance movement and planned an all out attack on the stronghold.” The girls looked at him in shock.
“By the maker.” Celestia said as she looked at the demon like girl.
“Wraith was betrayed by her comrades and was left to fight alone. When she crossed over the spirit swore vengeance on those who betrayed her. She returned a vengeful demon and slaughtered anyone who dared oppose her.”
“Talk about payback.” Cadence gulped.
Angel vanished from Ivy’s sight only to re appear in front of her. Ivy attempted to slam her fist into the mage’s face but her fist was held bak by the conduit’s finger. Angel chuckled and flicked her finger once on the flyer’s head. Ivy’s face exploded in pain as she was flung backwards by the force. Ivy felt her spine crack as she collided with a large rock.
She slumped to the ground in pain and struggled to stay on her feet. The conduit appeared in front of her and grabbed her by the throat. The woman’s touch was as cold as dry ice and Ivy struggled to get free.
“Don’t get any ideas.” Angel said as she slammed her fist into Ivy’s stomach. The green flyer coughed up a large amount of blood. “I still have to pay you back for all that pain you caused me earlier.” She said as the ice mage slammed Ivy into the dirt face first.
Ivy groaned in pain as Angel picked her up by her hair and chuckled. “I think I’ll take your hair a souvenir.” Ivy’s eyes shrank as the woman summoned an ice sword. “No, better idea.” She said as the hair started to become encased in ice. “I think I’ll freeze this moment of victory for all eternity.” Out of the corner of her eye, Ivy saw the shape of the red haired mage getting ready to stop the match.
She stared into his eyes and frowned. The woman felt her arms going numb and tried to think of a way out of this. Her vision started to blur and a few tears escaped her eyes before they turned to ice.
Back in the stands the brown haired flyer was almost balling as Crow put a hand on her shoulder.
Please no, not my daughter too. She thought as Rouge tried to comfort the flyer.
I’m so sorry dad. Ivy thought as the ice covered her face. The woman was now completely encased in ice. The conduit grinned and let the frozen flyer fall. As Crimson summoned his blade the area around the flyer grew warm and the ice started to crack. The flyer’s eyes glowed a bright green as the ice shattered and a blinding green light shot up and pierced the clouds.
The red and white mage shielded their eyes and felt the massive heatwave. The light faded and the white mage looked at the green flyer in shock. Ivy’s fore arms were now covered in lime green scales and long nails sprouted from her fingers. A few scales were on the sides of her face and her once feather like wings were now webbed and covered in the green scales.
Her canines were significantly larger than before and a spiked tail was growing out of her lower back. Her forelegs were similar to her hands and were covered in the same rigid texture. She opened her lime green eyes and Angel gasped as she saw the spliced green pupils.
Ivy looked at the white mage and flared her wings as she let loose a massive roar accompanied by a massive green flame shooting out of her mouth.
Crow and the other spectators looked at Ivy in amazement.
“Don’t tell me she’s a conduit too!” Twilight yelled.
“Of course she isn’t.” Fern said. “She’s just like her father.” She said as tears of joy formed in her eyes. “A true dragon slayer.”
“You see, in order to defeat a dragon one must take its strength and use it against them.” Crow stated.
Ivy locked glared with the conduit and charged forwards. The ice mage tried to fire a few ice shards at the monster in front of her. All that came out was water. Ivy slammed her clawed fist into her face. Angel was sent flying backwards and crashed into the dirt. Angel flared her icy wings and took flight. As she looked into the sky she saw a green blur rush in front of her and a scaled fist slam into her face.
The ice mage felt the mask on her face beginning to crack and she started to panic as she felt a pair of strong fingers wrap around her face and forced her back towards the earth. The crash resulted in the mask shattering and the ice mage’s body reverting back to normal. Ivy landed a pile driver on the woman’s stomach. Angel screamed in pain and coughed up more blood.
Ivy clenched her fist and funneled her magic into it. The scaled fist was glowing a bright green. Angel felt that a two ton weight was pressing against her body. Ivy pulled the fist back like a coiled snake ready to strike. Angel gulped and closed her eyes and waited for the pain.
The ice mage felt the fist rocket towards her and stop just centimeters from her face. Angel’s eyes shrank to the size of pin tips and saw the flyer’s extend her index finger and shake it from side to side.
“Nobody touches my hair.” She said in a serious tone. “Got it?” Angel remained silent and slowly nodded. Ivy got off the mage and cracked her neck.
“Ivy Evergreen is the winner.” An announcer yelled over the microphone. The green flyer sighed and green fire danced across her skin. Ivy’s green wings returned to normal along with her skin, eyes and teeth. As the green flyer started to walk away Angel grunted and quickly got to her feet. Her right hand glowed white with magic and an icicle spear formed in her hand.
The conduit raised the spear and ran towards the flyer with the end pointed right between her wings. As she came within striking distance something grabbed her spear and flipped it up into the sky. She then felt a crushing force wrap around her body. The flyer spun around and saw the ice mage wrapped in a familiar hand like wing. Her eyes shrank as she saw her red haired comrade standing between them with a look that could kill a manticore on his face.
“The match is over!” He bellowed. Angel continued to struggle in the grip. Crimson applied more pressure and grunted. “We don’t stab our comrades in the back!” Angel stopped struggling and held her head in defeat. Ivy sighed and felt the magic she used its toll. The flyer was about to collapse. She felt a pair of arms catch her and pick her up.
The flyer looked up and saw the red haired mage with the same look on his face as the other. The one holding the ice mage looked at her and grunted. “We’ll talk about this later.” The mag’s body the started to shift and became like liquid. The conduit fell and landed on her feet as the body turned to red liquid and raced back towards the red mage.
“Crimson....you-” Ivy said as she looked at the man. The three were then wrapped in a green aura and were teleported back to the arena. The crowd was cheering for the flyer who was waving as Crimson carried her off the field. The medics arrived and started to examine the flyer.
“You okay?” Crimson asked.
“Yeah I’ll be fine. Dragon force just take a lot out of me.” She said with a smile.
“Good, now if you’ll excuse me I need to talk to a disobedient student.” He said as he looked at the white mage who shook off the medics.
“Whats with her?” Ivy asked as the medic scanned her with a spell. “I know Angel and I have never been friends, but I never hated her.” She said with a sigh.
“I’m not too sure,” He said as he crossed his arms. “but I know how to find out.”
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Mhm, those wings that Crimson uses make me think about those wing like hands on Sasuke when he changed.
The pic I was talking about.
3554483 Yup thats what I was going for.
3554532
Awesome!!
3554535 I'll include a pick of what Crimson looks like in his released state in the next few chapters.
I'M IN THIS CHAPTER YAY!!!!
3554540
Allright I bet he looks like a total badass.
I don't want to sound mean dude, but your story is getting out of hand. I bought it when you said Crimson was a conduit with a demon inside him. I let the fact that anybody can use magic slip, hell I even put up with the we are the horseman of the apocalypse teachers, but this power that come out of nowhere are starting to get annoying.
Need three more students to fight?
3554674 Nope.
2 fights in one chapter
not bad, so a bit of Naruto reference with Crimson's transformation with a Deadman Wonderland power reference as well. I did like the duck hunt reference
(so old school)
As far as Angels ice powers, since that power has been in so many games and animes, I don't know if there are any references in there. And this fight shows that Conduits aren't invincible and can be defeated.(Angel is probably embarrassed and ashamed of losing which is why she was about to stab Ivy in the back.) Is there a story about Ivy's hair? It sounds like it would be a interesting story?
Naruto, Deadman Wonderland, and Fairy Tail. While I enjoy all three, it would be nice to see some original features within the characters.
3554979 Yeah there's a backstory. I'll explain it.
3554979 Deadman Wonderland? I've heard of it but never watched it. Something about a prison right?
3556339
Yes, what I meant about the reference is that the main character as well as a few others have the power of using their blood as weapons.
3556380 Oh. Did not know that.
3556475
And now you know, cause knowledge is power.
3554939 oh well. Can't fault me for trying. Wanna see who I was going to suggest though?
3556559 I'm good.
Was the wind sword a reference to the manga "Black Cat:?(the Main Antagonists sword)
3557533 No idea what that is.
3557614
It's a really good manga (there's also the anime, but i never got around to watching it) based around Tray A.K.A Black Cat, and His friend Sven (Ithink that's his name. They're bounty hunters (or sweepers as they call them in the series), and the main villain uses the wind sword, which could change how thin it actually is. Or it was something like that, I read it a long time ago.
3562124 Oh. Sounds cool.
Silentpegasus, I feel conflicted when I read your stories. I really liked the drama evoked last chapter with Cobalt defending Rogue even if it meant losing his father. I was willing to let the god-mode that is the Conduits slide, when you explained that fliers had magical abilities I let it slide, but this is about as far as my suspension of disbelief goes. Having Ivy being able to turn into a pseudo-dragon and be able to summon trees from the ground makes me think she's more of an alicron rather than a pegasus (I really don't remember the correct terminology, sorry.) After much consideration I have decided to write a third review. Why? You ask. because I want this to triumph. Rather than go point by point like my last review I'll try to give you what I think is a great solution and then explain myself.
My recommendation:
Calm the fuck down and write in a separate piece of paper how your story works!
This may sound extreme but it has worked for me. You seem to want to include every single method of magic ever written in modern geek culture (mostly from anime/manga). And I hate to say it, but it's a
shittyterrible idea. I know that the various styles make for interesting combat narratives, but it just feels unnatural. I'm not saying that the combat scenes aren't bad. In fact they are better than mine! (Not much of a praise, but it's something.) But having each main character sport like five different superpowers makes me think that your OCs were pulled from the Anime Universe rather than coming from Equestria. I'm not buying that Ivy can have as many superpowers as Crimson, who is supposed to be unique (he's got a fucking demon trapped inside). Cobalt also needs to be nerfed, fast. Him having steel skin is one thing, but being able to summon a fucking titan made of steel by pouring blood into a seal? That should at least have put him in a coma....i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/612/974/1de.php
If you take the time and wrote down how your version of Equestria works then you will be a step closer to realizing just how it works. Because as it stands I can't grasp the threat that Crimson is supposed to be when his friends are packing the same amount of superpowers as him.
I write this next point with a heavy heart. I mentioned that I was afraid that you were going to George Lucas because your love for explaining everything. I'm sorry to say that it has mutated into the deadly, but cureable, M. Night Shyamalan Syndrome (also known as Readers are Morons stigma). You just can't stop explaining shit! I'm serious, it's inorganic and tends to make me stop reading. I believe that you didn't want the Syndrome, nobody does unless you're an ass, but every chapter you explain something in the most inorganic way possible. As I've said before, the pattern seems to go something like this:
One of the Main 6 (OM6):What is that form of magic he's using?
Crow: It's X form of magic.
OM6: X form of magic?
Crow: Yes, X form of magic. It's something like this: Insert bland, boring explanation of form of magic that borders into becoming a superpower
I know I've bitched about this before, but it still is a problem with the story. Maybe I'm the only asshole who is bothered by it, but it really makes me roll my eyes everytime it happens, which has been too frequent as of late.
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TL;DR: I'll still continue reading the story, but you really put a filter on your story. The action sequences are still damn good, but your story gets boring during down-time. I know this is the third cannonball I've shot at this story, but I really want to see it become a masterpiece.
Good luck on further chapters and I'm sorry for coming harder than a jaeger's rocket punch, I just don't know how to sugarcoat my critiques.To compensate, here's a picture of Gollurk punching Feraligatr back into the Breach.
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3562432 Its fine I accept all kinds of criticism and I do see your point.
Ivy is natsu and angel is gray...i think
..... Wait, Crimzon can control his blood?..... Well now we have the Soul Eater reference! I don't know how to deal with that.
SO. MANY. ANIME REFERENCES!!!