Alrighty, big chapter here. I really enjoyed writing this one... The end part mostly. I'm just glad that Fluttershy is happy again. Anyways, this chapter should explain why Dash was such a... erm... meany in the last chapter. Thanks to necrolord50210/michael50210 and Gluttonous Behemoth for their support... and thanks to you as well! You guys reading this makes me all warm and fuzzy inside! So, without further ado, CHAPTER FOUR! (this one's kinda long).
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Rainbow darted into her home and onto her bed. Tears burned her eyes as she was forced to recall all the painful memories that Fluttershy unwillingly brought back. The memories of her once great friend and first lover, Gilda.
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When Dash was young, still in flight school, she and Gilda had been fillyfoolers. They were in their dorms one day when Gilda, bold as she was, brought the topic up out of the blue.
'Y'know, Dash. You're pretty cool,' she said, 'Too bad you're reserved for colts...'
'What?' Rainbow exclaimed, grinning and chuckling a bit.
'Y'know. Like for boyfriend girlfriend stuff. I wouldn't mind a nice long smooch from ya'.'
'Oh, a fillyfooler, eh? You oughta be ashamed of yourself!' Dash kidded.
'Nah. We both know you're one too.'
'AM NOT!' screamed the young pony, a look of faux-shock on her face.
'Are tooo...' the gryphon drawled in a singsongy voice.
'So what if I am, I'm way out of your league.' the blue filly kidded.
'Psh, if I wanted you I could have you.'
'Uh-huh. Sure.'
'Wanna bet?' Gilda inquired before being answered by a nod from Dash. The gryphon hopped up out of her bed, trotted over to Rainbow and began kissing her passionately. She flicked her tongue into the ponys mouth as they kissed, tracing the roof of her mouth and placing her arms on the back of Dashy's head and back. After over ten straight minutes of kissing Dash retracted.
'So... How much do I owe ya? the pony asked.
'What? I'm not a slut!' Gilda shouted, astonished.
'Nonono, I mean for the bet. You won.' she said with a wink.
From that day on the two were inseparable. In their free time the both of them could be seen laying on the clouds, looking up at the sky above them and talking or organizing pranks together as a way of... bonding. Their relationship grew and blossomed after months until finally Dash was able to truthfully tell Gilda that she loved her. The pair spent many a night talking to eachother or kissing eachother for hours on end.
One night Gilda and Dash were laying in the same bed talking and kissing when Gilda got an idea. She traced her feather around Dash's stomach, then moved lower and began feeling and pleasing her friend.
'Hey! Stop that!' Dash said promptly, not comfortable with the situation at all.
'Why? All the cool ponies do it. Don't tell me you've gone and become LAME!'
'I haven't, let's just not do that, kay?'
'Alright, alright...'
They lay in bed for a while, silent before Gilda decided to try her luck again.
'I SAID STOP IT!' Dash yelled, shoving Gilda off the bed.
'I guess I WAS wrong about you, Rainbow Dash. You must be the least cool pony in flight school, even worse than that dork Klutzershy.' Gilda said, so furious that she smacked her once-true friend in the face, scratching her skin. 'See ya, slut.'
Dash lay in her bed crying for hours after that. The first person she had ever trusted with her heard destroyed it.
That night she promised that she would never let someone become as close as Gilda did.
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This scene replayed itself in Rainbow's mind over and over again, each time more painful than the last. Her eyes were now completely bloodshot and puffed up, a result from hours of crying. By now her pillow was thoroughly soaked with tears that flowed from her eyes as a result of her lost love. Finally the blue pony cried herself into a dreamless sleep, still mourning the past...
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The next day.
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Rainbow sat up in bed, her eyes still red, but noticeably less puffy. She remembered the events of the prior night, but sleep gave her time to settle down and be able to think the situation through more clearly. Fluttershy would never dream of hurting her, and Rainbow knew that, but a blind fury was the only thing needed to drive her towards screaming at the poor little pony she had once been great friends with.
Rainbow began thinking about Fluttershy... About how fantastic she was, on the inside and out. How her mane flowed beatifully to one side, how gorgeous her deep blue eyes were, how she continually went out of her way to help anyone and everyone...
'Oh my god...' she said to herself, 'I'm such an idiot! That was my freaking chance and I blew it by yelling at her! What the hell is wrong with me!' her yelling was now accompanied by her fist being beaten on her bedside table.
Unwilling to completely give up on what may be her sole chance to make it with Fluttershy, Dash jetted out the door towards Fluttershy's cottage. She reached it in less than a minute, able to hear her friend's sobs already, and began banging on the door furiously.
'What do YOU want?' came a snobbish reply from a visibly livid Rarity. She, Twilight and Applejack were standing next to the door, staring at Rainbow. 'WELL!'
'Uh... Er... I'd, uh, I wanna talk to 'Shy...' Rainbow said, stuttering and slipping over her tongue.
'Darlin', dontcha think you've gone and hurt her enough for one day? Poor thing's been curled up in bed since we got here.' Applejack asked, a face of pure fury replacing her normal one.
'I know and I'm soooo sorry, it's just... Can I please talk to her?'
After a few minutes of consultation with the other two Twilight spoke up. 'You can talk to her, but if we hear any yelling you're out. Understood?'
'Yes! Thanks a million, Twilight.'
Dash was lead to Fluttershy's room, the ponies wails increasing in volume the closer to the room she got. Slowly she opened the door and entered to see a shivering lump hidden under a pile of blankets releasing the most pitiful moans that she had ever heard in her life, inviting tears to her eyes as well.
'Uh, Fluttershy?' no response 'Shy, I'm sorry... It's just that I had to think it over...'
'Then... wh-why did you y-yell at me?' Fluttershy asked in between sobs.
'I just... It's like this, I couldn't... I... It's a long story...' no response 'Ok, If you need to know, I'll tell ya.
When we were in flight school Gilda and I were fillyfoolers and we kinda... got together, y'know? So, we would kiss and stuff, and I thought I loved her, but one day she decided to do something that I, uh... Didn't like. I asked her to stop, but she wouldn't do it so we both got a little pissed and she... hit me. Hard...' at this Dash removed a little bit of makeup that she had applied like she did once a week. On her left cheek were two small dark marks, telltale signs of the abuse she once endured. 'They don't hurt anymore, and they're barely noticable, but they remind me of what happened...' through her story Rainbow's voice got harder and harder to control until near the end when she was bursting into sobs after every other word.
Fluttershy's crying progressively became quieter through Rainbow's story until about halfway through when she was completely silent. 'I... I had no idea, oh you poor thing...' she said, instinctively hugging Dashy and comforting her.
'How can you be so nice to somepony like me...'
'I'm... I don't know what you mean...'
'I was rude to you before, I yelled and I called you stupid for no reason, but you're still acting like this... why?'
'Well... Why not?'
This brought a dumbstruck look to Dash's face ash she looked up to 'Shy. The pairs eyes met, both still filled with tears. Fluttershy moved forward and kissed the still crying Rainbow. They kissed for what seemed like an eternity to the both of them. It was quite magical and reintroduced joy to both of their faces.
'That was... nice.' Fluttershy finally said after minutes of silence.
'Heh, yeah... We should, uh... Do this some more.' Rainbow said, blushing, but grinning from ear to ear at the same time.
'Uh-huh...'
The pair exited the room to see the other three with sly grins on their faces.
'Sooooo, you two lovebirds have fun in there?' Twilight asked, giggling.
'What? We did-' Rainbow began.
'No use denyin' it, sugarcube. We saw y'all necking it up in there.'
'Ok...' Dash said, her face getting redder and redder by the second.
'My dear, don't be ashamed. It's beautiful!' Rarity said reassuringly, 'I always knew you two were perfect for eachother. Anyways, we'll leave you two to... Talk. Someone has to tell pinky, right?'
Keep em comin man, I came here when I saw cover art lol. Glad I did btw pretty good writing :D
Picture's source is here: http://fav.me/d4oco4w.
Thanks a million, all of ye!
I had this already put up on fanfiction.net and I just moved it onto here... I also just kinda update when I can, so if I only have a small amount of time I'll write a small chapter, if I have some time to kill I'll make quite a large one.
I love that art... I found it floating around on my computer the other day and decided to use it for this
Despite how short it is, it is very well written. A few spelling errors here and some grammar odd there but not enough to stop me from reading. Granted the plot is a-bit overused but its still a good one none-the-less (like HiM FiM) and I agree that you should have shaken it up a tad bit. Good job with Rainbow Dash's flashback, I feel as if something is missing from it, None-the-less your story was enjoyable. More or less a great mini-story to read when looking for something small to read. That is actually one good thing about small stories, they are quick, easy to read, and who turns down a 3K story?
Bravo and encore, although do try to fill up your soon to follow stories a bit more.
It was a bit short but I like a good short story once a while. Good work and welcome to Fanfiction writing
I may have read this on fanfiction.net, is this the original text or a revised version? It feels like I have read something similar to this somewhere...
Anyways, I'm liking what your doing with this. Keep up the work!
Cheers,
jangledorf
@jangledorf (odd name...)
Original text.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7800245/1/Opposites_Attract
^The fanfiction.net version... I just started it a couple weeks ago.
it was cute, i liked it...is this the end or is there more to come?
249426 It's not the end. I'll continue it in one way or another!
A little too generic and simply done for my tastes, but it's competently done, at least. Try and mix it up a little with your next story.
These are very good for your first shot at a fic. I think that for it to truly speak to someone, there should be a lot more development and progression. For the maybe two-thousand words it was, it was great. You have potential; if the stories could have a longer plot, more development, suspense, and a more detailed view of what actually occurs, it will be great!
As a tip, you might want to put your author's notes at the end of the chapter. Needless to say, it prevents spoilers.
you're story makes me want to cry for some reason
i just finished chapter four and thaught to myself "sweeeeeeet" then laughed out loud and now here i am still laughing and heres my thaughts: Dude you gotta keep 'em comin this is awesome! i think youve got real talent for somethin' like this and you should keep at it even the book im writing doesnt sound as good as this and im on chapter freakin' 6! well then again most of the book is fighting and blood 'n gore and its the storyline for a video game its about the extended version of Fable 1..... sorry i started to rant but anyway keep at it man this is amazing and i loved it!
Your Faithful Reader:
"Darkstar"
249313 Long story behind that name, nobody uses it though so I'm fine with it.
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/248/833/23a.jpg
D'awwwwwwwwwww
forever!
Flutterdash yay!!